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#especially when you yourself are in this world to experience it... not as a body but as a conscience
luvit · 4 months
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GIVE THE PEOPLE SOME OLDER!BOYFRIEND!SIMON (sfw and nsfw) (im talking like reader is 22 and he’s 39)
(gn!reader, mdni 18+, do not repost this)
AGGGGGGGH this is me if you even care. i love this i love this i will gladly give the people what they NEED
older-boyfriend!simon who tries to push you away at first. because why are you trying to go after a man pushing 40 when there's better guys for you. one who aren't cold and hardened by war, guys your age who can treat you better than he can. a college-aged sweet thing like you should still be out having fun at the clubs and bars instead of trying to get with the brooding guy in the corner of the bar.
but older-boyfriend!simon who admires the way you're so insistent on hanging around him. your crush is not so well hidden but he knows that you're aware of that, refusing to hide your puppy love for him. makes him realize that no boy can treat you better than he can. knows exactly what you need, what you deserve. that with all his years of knowledge and experience, he can share it with you so he can protect you.
when he finally gives into you after so many months of you pining, he decides he's going to put out all the stops and show you how you should be treated. the first couple of dates are moments where he gets to finally let you in and get to know you deeper, always leaves room for you to speak and has to remind himself to share just a little bit more than he's used to so you can know more about him. always so polite and gentle with you. studies the features of your pretty face while you get so animated talking. yet always gives you room to opt out if you truly decide that you don't want to be with a man nearly double your age.
it's finally when he decides to become older-boyfriend!simon that he's tired of playing it safe. tired of holding you so loosely when you've done nothing but show him how much you want to be his. how much you want him to be yours. that's when he decides that he will be that much and more. once you're his pretty little thing there's no going back. had you in an iron grip. because older-boyfriend!simon is possessive. older-boyfriend!simon treats you as if he's already married to you.
creates a joint financial account and pours money into it so you can spend it on whatever you want! when you're hesitant to buy anything especially so expensive, he actually gets mad at you (lovingly). forces you out the next weekend and says if you so much as look at anything then it's going in the cart. you want those designer shoes? done. you want this whole set of hardcover books you might never read? done. you want to go to a fast food joint for just a shake? done.
all of a sudden, your online shopping carts are empty and you're getting emails that they're arriving within the next week. gives you a hard stare every time you try to tell him that it's okay! save the money! he grabs you by the jaw and says "anything you want in this world, i'll give it to you. we don' need to save f'anything except a house." even though you're fairly sure he has more than enough to buy you a nice home on a private property.
eventually he calms down from giving you all this financial freedom. he just wants to provide for you godammit! wants to give you everything he never had, make sure you never need to think about budgeting for something. makes sure to teach you how to make financially responsible decisions though. what a hypocrite. that way, he always warns, if ever he's not around that you can take care of yourself.
but by god older-boyfriend!simon never wants to be away from you. you have scary dog privileges with him wherever you go. he'll give you some breathing room if at a social event and you manage to drag him out to a club, but he never lets you out of his sight. love to watch you, loves to watch over you, loves the sight of what's his. and if you're ever bothered by anyone, he's quick to cut that interaction short by leering over them. blocks you off with his body do you're dwarfed by his huge frame. you're the one who has to tug at him to go away because you don't wanna make a scene.
and at home? ohmg, older-boyfriend!simon never has his hands off of you. you thought you were like the lovesick puppy who followed him around at first? he's ten times worse, especially after hearing you call him yours for the first time when introducing him. needs to be touching you. if you get up to stretch, he's coming with you just a step behind. you're in the kitchen making something, he's hovering behind you with hands around your waist and makes you waddle to get somewhere else bc he won't let go. you're in bed or on the couch, somehow he's shimmied himself under you so you're laying on top of him and trapped in his arms clasped together over your waist. sometimes it's even worse when all of a sudden he crawls over you and puts his full weight down so he can lay on you and snuggle into your neck.
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he's even worse in the bedroom. never lets you take your eyes off of him as he fucks you so deeply. tells you that he reaches parts of you nobody has and nobody ever will be able to touch.
older-boyfriend!simon who grins when he sees how fucked out you look under him. because you've only ever been with those boys who didn't know what they were doing. no, one of them knew how to give it to you good. would never be up to par with what he can provide anyways. he gives you a painful reminder between your legs just how good you can take it when you wake up the next morning.
nestled so deep inside of you, makes sure you cum first. always. he grunts in your ear as he rams into you so sweetly and it feels like he's trying to carve his name into your walls with his hard dick. makes you cum early by stroking you just right as he grinds into you so you have something nice and big to cum around.
and older-boyfriend!simon who loves to mark you up. lips never part from your neck or your nipples or your jaw or your hips or your thighs. you're quite literally being ravished by a wild animal. because nothing makes his dick harder with the way you look at him when you know - expect - that he's going to fuck you dumb. like you've already resigned to your fate and accept the fact that nobody will ever make you feel as good as he will.
he works you so hard to a point you think you need to tap out. you're scratching at him and pleading but older-boyfriend!simon knows best! he knows so much more than you after all! gotta build you up, gotta train you so that you can keep taking it and taking it and taking it. get you used to cumming so much that he can keep going. because he always has to hold back so he doesn't break you.
always cums inside. he likes to cum over your body, but likes it even more to shove it into you so deep. floods you with his hot seed and always says "where else would i cum?" when you squirm and pout at him. older-boyfriend!simon knows what's good for you, darling. and if you're ever worried about a family with the possessive way he looks at you when he does cum, he will shrug and say "you gonna give me one? wanna give me a lil' riley?" even tho you're still so young! but again... older-boyfriend!simon treats you like he's already claimed you as his spouse. that's why you just have to get used to the warm feeling of his cum down your thighs every night. sometimes replenishes it in the morning.
older-boyfriend!simon who has so much to show you, show much to give you. his sweet little baby. it's only a matter of time before you're able to handle him at his fullest. but until then, he'll keep stretching you out every night and claiming you over and over again to remind you that you are his.
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do not edit or reupload my works elsewhere (reblogs welcome!)
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vilsoo · 6 months
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𝑫𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑯𝑮𝑨𝑺𝑴.𝑪𝑶𝑴 ⌇GHOST, KÖNIG
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ghost x fem!reader x könig || WC: 3,852
𖤐 SYNOPSIS. the dark web was a place every sane person stayed away from. too many horror stories and dark content that barely a few dared to venture in. but you’d rather not be anywhere else than in the hands of two masked strangers…
𖤐 WARNINGS. dubcon, kidnapping, drugging, sadism, voyeurism, bondage (blindfolding, ropes, torture), sex toys, livestream sex, manhandling, exhibitionism, forced creampie, mind break, double penetration, mask kink, impact play.
HORRORLAND/KINKTOBER MASTERLIST
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[HAUNTED HOUSE ANNOUNCER] You are now entering the Deathgasm live venue. This haunted house attraction depicts scenes of violence, intense loud audio, special effects, and content warnings posted. For a fun and safe experience, please follow our code of conduct: no touching live performers and decorations, no flash photography, and no eating. Do not block passageways, or this will result in expulsion. Smoking and drinking are permitted for our haunted houses only. We hope you enjoy.
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The last time you ever saw broad daylight was ripped apart before your eyes.
It was just a relaxing morning stroll. You were always, always aware of your surroundings, especially during the night. But you shouldn’t have underestimated what happens in the day. Things became unsettling when you noticed a white van lurking in your peripheral vision, feeling your skin crawl and your body tense up with paranoia when the doors opened.
At first, you thought you were overthinking about it. Stop being so fucking paranoid, you scolded to yourself. Maybe they’re just contractors or something. Nothing sketchy at all.
You just kept walking that day continuing to embrace the warmth of the sun, sometimes looking over your shoulders just to be sure. But that unsettling, turmoil gut-feeling just couldn’t go away. As if you really were being followed. As if that van parked all the way out here for you.
“Quickly.”
It wasn’t until in just half a heartbeat, a brawny, masked man clung his arm around you, rendering you motionless as he presses a cloth over your nose and your mouth. With all your strength you tried to fight back and escape his grasp but your struggle was to no avail. Your screams were muffled and your vision grew hazy, causing your eyes to flutter as your numb body was pulled backwards, backwards, and backwards... And that was when your world was swallowed away by darkness.
“Shh, shh… We got you now. We’ll be taking care of you now...”
“…Told you she’d be easy, Ghost. We’ll have her all to ourselves…”
On that sinister day, you were the one with the shiny price tag. A beautiful woman walking all alone near a remote area, suddenly kidnapped by two masked men in a white van who had special, ominous plans for you. You could hear their conversations reverberating in your head, trying to register what the hell even happened. With your body temporarily limp and weakened, you could still feel the sensation of their caresses all over you.
Usually kidnappers would be so aggressive handling their female victims. At least, in the movies you’ve seen. The men would rush and scamper out of impatience and impulse as they tie their victims up, desperate to get down to business like it was their last meal on Earth. And even though your brain was foggy, you could register that you were being downed by a drug and abducted. Yet, it all felt… oddly tantalizing.
There was no rush. No sign of impulse nor rough treatment from these mysterious masked men. Instead of this predator-prey dynamic, instead of fear and terror seizing every fiber of your being, the men handled your motionless body like having a cupped hand of water, that not a drop would enter gravity's pull. In the back of a van, you laid on a blanket as gloved hands roamed about your skin, your waist, your face, your thighs… The men cut off your clothes with scissors, ever so gently trying not to hurt you. With your hazy eyes drifting side to side, you caught glimpse of one of them holding rope and the other holding your arms above your head.
“Look at her. So fucking cute when she’s all spaced out like that…”
“She’s so obedient for us already. You’re gonna be a perfect little pornstar for us, aren’t ya’?”
…Pornstar?
Before you knew it, your heavy eyes started to sulk. You were slowing down while the world around blurred, completely losing your coherence as the masked men moved you around like a lifeless doll. You couldn’t stop sighing, babbling nonsense, and whimpering when their large hands just couldn’t keep off of you, hanging your wrists on some metal hook attached to the van’s ceiling so they could caress your body. Your numb legs were then spread open, revealing the soaked fabric of your panties that you heard one of them coo in your ears. You whined when one of them slid their hand down to toy with your slit, aching and so swollen, out of your own fear and arousal. It was futile to even try and close your legs from this violation, yet the heat pooling in between was saying otherwise…
“Fuck, she’s already so wet just by being tied up. Makes me wanna take her here right now.”
“…We have to go now, König. Just keep playing with her clit until she falls asleep…”
The anticipation from such a forbidden desire worsened the ache in your cunt. At this fleeting moment you didn’t know what exactly you wanted anymore; how to choose what was good or what was bad for you. Your foggy brain couldn’t even articulate anything except this writhing sensation, this urge to submit yourself and melt onto the man’s chest just to let him use you. Encircling his fingers on your throbbing clit that you were bashfully moaning and whining, knowing that they were getting off to a pathetic, brainless, helpless woman who’s good for nothing but a fuck…
It was too bad that before you could even build up your orgasm, you were already passed out…
“… And we’re live. Wake her up.”
You had no idea how long you’ve been out. At least your coherence was starting to gauge, but your body was still weakened and frail from the drug. You struggled to open your debilitated eyes, vision hazy and blurry as if you hit your head. And when you tried to move, your wrists were still bound above your head.
Your breathing grew rapid, eyes darting every corner as you were scanning the new environment. Tied in a darkened room with red lighting, followed by a camera on a tripod right in front of you. Your mind immediately thought of this setup as a sex dungeon, hence the chains on the walls and a bed neatly made behind you. Recalling what had happened earlier, you tried to look for the men in masks, creating noises by dangling the metal hook above you and whimpering to let them know you’re awake. But as far as you could tell, you couldn’t make out any other presence lingering in the room…
Your heart was a pounding loud drum in your chest. Panic scorches in your brain, but your touch-starved body betrays your inhibitions… You were completely naked, exposing yourself in front of the camera. In your mouth, a red ball gag pooling with drool that dripped down to your stomach and on the floor. Your legs were free from the rope, however, you were on your tippie toes— the rope holding your wrists were too high that it was a struggle to relax them or you’d injure yourself. Dangling on rope, gagging and drooling on a ball, naked in front of a camera that you assumed to be recording already… how much more lewd could this be?
A gloved hand emerging from the shadows makes you flinch as it caresses you from behind. Your skin tingled when you felt the man’s body heat transmit onto your back, hearing him breathe deeply. You were able to study him up close— an alluring, mysterious man wearing a balaclava with a skull design, recalling him being called “Ghost.” Another pair of gloved hands greet you by massaging your breasts, your body immediately succumbing to this white-hot wave of sensation, desperate to be handled like this that more heat pooled between your legs. You turn your head and meet his gaze; piercing, forest green eyes and a draped mask, the other man with the German accent known as “König.”
“You’re not gonna struggle and try to resist us, are you?” Ghost teased, his voice so intoxicating than any alcohol you’ve ever consumed. He had this husky, sultry British accent; something you’ve never expected coming from a stranger like him. It only turned you on more.
You shake your head at him meekly, replying with a faint moan when he suddenly grips your ass. Ghost immediately catches the doe-eyes you gave him, the right kind of heat and lust pooling in your eyes. This was all so, so wrong… to be abducted and chained in the dark, to be turned on by strangers in tactical gear who drugged you and had sinister plans for you… But yet, you couldn’t fight this brain-fazing sensation from the anticipation quivering inside, wondering what was going to happen to you as you were in the hands of these men. And your aching cunt couldn’t stop furtively pounding and throbbing, having to hold back a whimper from how needy and slutty you really were...
“Good girl,” Ghost praised as he held your face with one hand. “Tonight, everything we do to you is gonna be livestreamed. You’re not here just to please us— you’ll have to please our audience, too. You like being shown off, pretty girl?”
“Mhm.” You nodded like you were already made for this, allowing what your body was secretly ravenous for. A little enthusiasm, but also bashfulness— the epitome of submission. Perhaps deep down, you adored being showed off; basking in the limelight of being a free use in front of thousands of strangers…
König’s hand slithers down your back and onto your ass, yelping when he spanked it so abruptly that it left a throbbing sting. Your back involuntarily arched and when his fingers just fit right in between your thighs, chafing your swollen, wet cunt that it was hard holding back your pathetic whines and moans.
“Getting off to this already?” he coaxed, now increasing the speed of his fingers teasing your folds that you threw your head back on his shoulder. Immediately writhing on his fingers playing with your swollen clit, unable to respond properly when Ghost wrapped his hand around your throat.
“They wanna hear you scream,” Ghost muttered into your ears, slightly smirking under his mask. “You can’t be enjoying all this without a little bit of pain.”
As much as you wanted to resist, you couldn’t. The panic and anticipation spiraled into shameless arousal. Without warning, König eased two of his fingers knuckles deep inside your wet cunt so easily, thrusting insanely fast that your eyes fell half-lidded, convulsing around his fingers hitting that spot that made you squirm. Shamelessly spreading your legs as Ghost kept playing with your tits, squeezing both of your nipples so tight that your loud squeal reverberated off the walls of the room.
That mix of pleasure and pain; you’d be lying to yourself if you truly enjoyed it… It was torturous, it was too brutal to endure, but your skin was flashing hotter than ever, your clit throbbing erratically with a heartbeat of its own. König felt his cock stirring in his suit, getting off to your helpless state that he thrusted his fingers so hard, curling them to abuse your g-spot. Denying your own orgasm was painfully inevitable. The two men could see it pooling in your eyes like it was unobtainable, watching your body constantly squirming under their touches.
“You think she deserves to come?” taunted Ghost.
“We’ll make her come as many times as she can. Even if she can’t handle it.” You could feel König’s other hand slithering down to your inner thigh as if he was about to grab it, leaning in to whisper in your ear, “And we’re not gonna fucking stop no matter how many times you beg. You’re our little fucktoy now and you’re gonna be treated just like one.”
Lust speared through you from their words. The men were unpredictable in their own sinister ways; it caught you off guard from the way König abruptly lifted your left leg and held it in the air as Ghost takes a vibrator onto your clit. Fingers still fucking into your cunt and your sensitive clit getting overstimulated had you yanking the rope, your body writhing and squirming that they tell you to “shut the fuck up and take it,” and forced you in place. Electric sensations skyrocket through you before you could even register it all, your glossy eyes welling with tears and your face all ravished and wanton beyond comprehension.
Never have you been so turned on you couldn’t see straight. It was a fleeting second after you realize your orgasm had already washed over you, your hips stuttering like a riptide from this delirious torment. Knowing that there were thousands of strangers getting off to this, getting off to a helpless slut tied up and tortured by masked men that can’t do anything except enjoy it, you basked in it. Forced multiple orgasms, stinging pain, lewd noises, and loud screams… this was all related to the dark web you’ve been hearing recently.
After collecting yourself, a wave of clarity hit you so suddenly that things were starting to make sense. There were recent kidnappings of women who were found later on a livestream website called Deathgasm.com, where numerous videos of gangbangs with these women and masked men in tactical gear are recorded live. They take place in either the back of a van or in a dark room, which viewers assume as a sex dungeon.
You couldn’t hold back anymore. As sick and twisted this was, your body couldn’t help but succumb to this indescribable feeling of pleasure and torture. There were even times out of curiosity you’d search the site and realize how attractive the men in masks and tactical gear are. Toying and playing with a tied up woman who also secretly succumb to this, their quivering fear and terror surrendering into arousal and tantalization. Having no choice but to orgasm over and over even though it’s too much, looking into the men’s faces with lingering dark anonymity and their brawny, large bodies looming over them just to fulfil their filthy, dark plans. And you would not trade this for anything in the world.
Perhaps you adored being showed off. Basking in the limelight of being used like a fucktoy and watched by strangers online that are fucked up in the head, like an exhibitionist. Or maybe you’ve been brainwashed to even think this way— maybe you just have little, fucked up fantasies of your own... It didn’t even matter anymore; your thoughts became mush when Ghost and König suspended you up in the air this time, your wrists and ankles bound behind you with your legs also tied apart. The gag was finally off but a blindfold had covered your eyes, not being able to tell who’s who and what the men plan to do to you now.
You were already a mess; strings of saliva and drool hanging off your chin that dripped onto König’s cock, slowly easing it in your widened mouth. It was Ghost’s turn to play with your pussy and ass, moaning and yelping when he spanked your cheeks so harshly. Nothing could compare to this amount of excitement pounding in your pussy, practically whining on Konig’s fat cock in your mouth as Ghost kept teasing you.
To describe the comments in the live chat as obscene is an understatement— the men were greedy, ravenous, filthy. Shamelessly admitting their own raunchy, fucked up scenarios with you tied up like that. Degrading you like a worthless whore, admiring your body and pussy that’s good for fucking, or sending money to get Ghost and König to fulfill their requests:
[ $20 ] both of you fuck her pussy and ass at the same time. stretch out that tight asshole
[ $25 ] carve the word “slut” on her thigh i want that bitch bloody and screaming in pain
[ $22 ] make her squirt i wanna see that pussy juice all over the camera lens
And though you couldn’t read the comments or see the camera, you just indulged into this and presented yourself as a horny, free-use slut that’s made for fucking. You can feel Ghost’s cockhead brushing the folds of your cunt, coating it with your juices. König thrusted his cock straight inside your throat that it was too much for you to handle, gagging and moaning pathetically as Ghost kept teasing you it felt like utter torture. But that blissful feeling blossoming in your stomach was saying otherwise…
You were so desperate for more friction; Ghost took sick pleasure in seeing you like this, writhing and bucking your hips for him to slide inside your cunt already. When he finally eased his cock so deep, you were given no warning as he pounded so hard and rough into you. The sensation of your cunt getting stretched out from his size, grabbing your hips and pulling you back and forth on his cock... You were a wrecked mess already; your face streaked with tears, your chin dripping with drool, and your skin all slick and sweaty. The thought of being reduced to a free use fuck-slut that thrives off from only cock and orgasms as you were suspended mid-air… you could no longer think for yourself anymore.
“Look at you. Getting all dumb and brainless over our cocks,” Ghost cooed, harshly spanking your ass. “You like being our little pornstar? Knowing that a bunch of strangers online jerk off to you being used like this?”
Your eyes roll into the back of your skull as the men kept pounding and thrusting, hearing König pant heavily and Ghost grunt when you kept squeezing ever so tightly around him. In just a minute, another orgasm. But that didn’t stop Ghost mercilessly pounding into you like an animal gone wild and König fucking your throat so relentlessly. Your screams and moans form into gags urging out, drips of precum and drool seeping on your chin that König smeared all over your glossy face. The more they sensed that you were taking pleasure from all this, the more brutal they were with you.
It felt like you were in the air for hours as the men switched around and took turns. Your cunt was becoming overly slick with the copious amounts of cum that was being pumped into it, some left on your ass and some dripping onto the floor. Even when they weren’t inside you, the continual pounding and the oozing cum throbbed in your walls. You still couldn’t see anything and you were still bound. It wasn’t until your eyes started feeling heavy again and your body fell numb; the men didn’t like that.
“We didn’t say you could fucking sleep,” König chided as he harshly grabbed your face and slipped off the blindfold.
“That drug is still hitting you, huh?” teased Ghost as he messing around with the ropes that held you in the air. “For that, we’ll make her do the work this time. Untie her and get her on top of me on the bed so she’ll ride me. Leave her arms tied only.”
You couldn’t protest, for your words started to slur and your mouth was only used for moaning pathetically. Once König brought you down from the air, he shoved you onto the bed, holding your legs in the air as Ghost laid underneath you. There was another camera facing the bed that you noticed, the light burning into your retinas as you stare into it. Although you were half awake, a weak smile stretches on your lips, wanting to the viewers know how prideful you were of this and how good Ghost and König make you feel.
When Ghost slowly settled inside your ass, you’ve felt a stirring sensation in your stomach. Never have you thought about losing your anal virginity so soon, but it had you throwing your head back and whining. He had the ball gag from before in his hands and wrapped it back around your opened mouth, telling you to keep staring into the camera and ride him like the dirty, messy slut that you are. With your feet on the bed and your legs spread, you slowly settle down on his cock, eyebrows furrowed and your body contorting from how intense it all felt.
You knew that you didn’t wanna go painfully slow; you wanted Ghost to feel good as well. To the point where he’d finally hold your hips in the air and fuck his cock into your ass and König can finally slide himself in your pussy, overstimulating you so greatly. It was hard to keep balance with your hands bound behind your back and your staggering strength. But you kept telling yourself that this was all that you wanted, grinding your hips and bouncing your ass up and down, emitting juddering grunts from Ghost.
“Keep your legs spread open for me,” König ordered. “Show to the camera how good you take two cocks inside of you.”
Before you knew it, you were sandwiched between the two masked men, filling your holes and stuffing you harshly. Sitting on Ghost’s cock as your legs were wide open, letting them both pound into you… You lost the feeling of stability in your entire body, your inhibition being taken over by the desperate sensation of cock. It broke your mind, but that was what you craved for. It was pure euphoria, rapturing you in a burning enticement that you were bound in. Nearly knocked out of air, your vision becomes hazy as Ghost and König fucks you through your third orgasm, past the point where you're crying two octaves higher than you're used to.
such a hot fucking slut taking both dicks
i wish i could fuck her cunt and put that dumb bitch in her place
how many times did she come already 😂
You enjoyed it. You enjoyed it all. The mind-wrecking, the overstimulation, the humiliation, the pain, the thought of being watched and masturbated to by perverts… It felt as if your life had been reformed. You were now a slutty whore that was good for nothing but a fuck. A depository for cum, just holes for fucking and a toy to torture. Your cunt was now battered and bruised, ass stinging and throbbing from being slapped multiple times, and both of your holes stretched and aching from how deep and rough they fucked you out. All those sensitive, velvet tissues that should never see the light of day, for they were property of Ghost and König only. Your poor cunt couldn’t stop flexing over nothing, yearning for that feeling of fullness again.
The next few hours after you were done being used, you were tied up in a strappado position with a vibrating dildo tied to your cunt. Left alone in the dark with the camera still on and recording, still blindfolded and gagged. Forced orgasms over and over, stranded like this throughout the rest of your days and nights until they felt like using you again. From what Ghost told you, the viewers seemed to favor you. They wanted to see more of you on Deathgasm, never to return to your old life and remain a free-use.
“Next time, I’ll make it hurt real good for you,” he forewarned before. “They can watch and cum as many times as they please, but you… You only cum for me now.”
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harmoonix · 3 months
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🦁𝙃𝙖𝙠𝙪𝙣𝙖 𝙈𝙖𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙖🦁
(Astrology Observations)
𓃭~ 𝕫𝕚𝕞𝕓𝕒𝕓𝕨𝕖 ~𓃭
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❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂
❂ 𝕴𝖙'𝖘 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖎𝖗𝖈𝖑𝖊 𝖔𝖋 𝖑𝖎𝖋𝖊 ❂
──────────────────────
☀️ Leo Placements especially Sun/Moon/Rising/Venus have a shining face/body in general their skin shines a lot and is good because it indicates healthy skin, they may also have a very complex beauty like you need to stare at them for a bit to just admire their beauty
☀️ 5°, 17°, and the 29th° degrees indicate fame and recognition, sometimes getting a lot of attention, on the sun/ascendant/midhaven can give those things (Jupiter in those degrees extends the beauty of the native)
☀️Juno in Fire Signs love with a passion and need a passionate relationship/partner, they're very fierce and need to feel loved at fullest
☀️ Aquarius/Virgo Moon/Rising/Mercury are so analytical, they will analyze everything about a person like their eyes/face/clothes/body/behavior etc.. 😲😲
☀️ Scorpio Venus/Mars/Rising/Juno can definitely experience getting or having jealous partners, (or possesive) their partners can be clingy as well
☀️ Venus in your 7th house is in perfect harmony/will attract a lot of love/partners/harmony in their relationships and full of blessings
☀️ North Node aspecting Sun/Pluto/Saturn/Chiron literally gives the vibe of Lion King because of "Circle of life", like to experience things and to evolve and going from different circles of life to another
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☀️Mercury/Moon in Pisces or at Pisces Degrees (12°, 24°) have a serene/peaceful voice, I know so many people with both Pisces Mercury & Moon they are having such a calm sweet voice ❣️
☀️Try to analyze your ruler planet persona chart to discover more things about yourself, if you have 2 ruler planets look at both persona chart, if you have Leo Rising your own chart is the sun natal chart ❣️
☀️Pluto aspecting the ascendant natives are not only mesmerizing but they're full of evolution as well, you'll learn so many things if you have someone with those aspects beside you, they can teach you/make you evolve with them
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From the day we arrive on the planet
And blinking step into the sun
There's more to see than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done
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☀️ Don't forget that the house you have Pisces in is also ruled by the Jupiter not only by Neptune, in traditional astrology Pisces is ruled by Jupiter
☀️ Sun in Leo/Leo in the 8th house have such a magnetic energy, they're like a gemstone 💎 shinning and full of mystery in the same time
☀️ Gemini Placements esp Rising and Mars are captivating people, these natives are always having the best stories to share, they're also very communicative and open to everything
☀️ Leo/Libra/Taurus/Pisces Moons know how to give themselves and others a love treatment, I know so many of them cheering others up to make them feel better and happy
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☀️ I admire 9th house placements for their love for travelling and seeing the worlds beautiful nature, they're also outgoing from young ages and that makes them to be wild and free when they grow up
☀️ 10°, 22° are hardworking degrees, on midhaven/sun/ascendant give the vibe of a hardworking person, also shows a lot of influence upon others
☀️ 11° 23° degrees are influential degrees, on Venus these degrees can influence others based on the beauty or their fashion style/ on the midhaven influence about their work or career/on Mercury influencing about their voice/speech
☀️ Sagittarius/Aries and Gemini Degrees usually are the people talk very fast in a conversation and at the end the people can end up like "Sorry can you repeat again"
☀️ Chiron in the 4th/6th/12th houses natives may like to stay alone for a bit to relax or to calm themselves, they really need peace of mind
☀️ Sun/Mars in the 10th house shows someone who is focusing a lot on their work/job/career and its very confident about it, they may also stay over the program or overworking to put more on themselves
☀️ Venus aspecting the north node has a very beautiful journey in life, to learn how to love themselves and how to be loved, to learn what healthy and true love feels like (all aspects)
☀️ Ascendant aspecting the Moon are having a specific beauty, some of them may have big sparkling eyes, maybe oval face, beautiful smile
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☀️ Lilith Leo/Lilith in the 5th house or Lilith aspecting Sun can feel unseen/unloved at times or they can feel people like people don't give them the attention they deserve, and is not like that, I know there is someone who loves you for who you are ❣️❣️❣️
☀️ Moon/Venus and North Node in the 3rd house create a very beautiful connection with their siblings (if they have) and a harmonious relationships
☀️ Pluto in the 2nd house has a transformative energy towards their value and worth, because you have to realize that you're worth it and you deserve the best
──────────────────────
There's far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found
But the sun rolling high
Through the sapphire sky
Keeps great and small on the endless round
──────────────────────
☀️ Mercury/Jupiter/ Venus & Sun in the 11th house create wonderful friendships, their friends can be everything for some of these natives and be a blessing in their lives ❣️
☀️ Jupiter aspecting the Sun/Moon or Ascendant can make the native extremely optimistic and lucky, they are having a good vibe and love to see/make other people happy with their presence
☀️ Aries Moon/Rising/Venus/Sun can be clingy/possesive and over protective it kills me sometimes how underatted these placements are when it comes to those things
☀️Mars in Earth Signs feels so full with responsibiliies at times, Mars struggles and loves it here in the same time, it gives them an bossy aura or energy too
☀️ Mars/Jupiter/Saturn/Pluto in the 1st house natives usually have a lot of body strength, they can work in gym or maybe having a muscle body or a good fit and still be strong
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☀️ Neptune in the 1st house natives are having a great connection with their subconscious or spiritual world. These natives are highly spiritual and easily connect with their subconscious mind/soul
☀️ Neptune at 1°, 13° and 25th° degrees usually have a lot of energy and easily can get overstimulated, they be doing more things at once and hate it when it gets boring
☀️ Lilith aspecting Mars can be the ultimate femme fatale energy let me tell you how tricky this placement is cus it makes people to hate and love you in the same time (to hate you I mean some people may just not like you and because Mars is a male planet those people can be men at times)
☀️ Uranus/Sun aspecting Mars can bless the native with a lot of body motion,they can be good at dancing in general things that have to do with body movement
☀️ Uranus aspecting Sun is a vibe I swear, I love their energy they're like "C'mon let's do this thing I'm so excited for it" and the next minute they be coming with another idea and another ✨ innovative✨
☀️ Dark Lilith (58) in the 8th/12th house for in Scorpio/Pisces the native has surreal energy, not gonna lie we talk about dark lilith here these so it manifest with rage/intensity/mystery and even hypnotic vibes at times
☀️ If you have your ascendant not aspecting that many planets in your chart or an empty ascendant you'll have an easy time with discovering yourself and feeling like yourself
☀️ Having an empty 7th house is actually beneficial because long terms relationships will come easier for you with this house being empty
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☀️ Capricorn Placements are known for being hardworking and respected in their environments but I cannot stand the fact when someone calls them cold or mean or idk what other things because I rarely met Capricorns like that, I say this as a Capricorn Myself 🐐♑
☀️ Uranus aspecting Venus natives can manifest in 2 categories as, wanting or having multiple crushes or people that you like or find attractive or being confused in their love life (omg sometimes indicating love triangles forgot that)
──────────────────────
It's the circle of life❂
❂And it moves us all
Through despair and hope❂
❂Through faith and love
──────────────────────
☀️Sun or Moon in the 9th house or in Sagittarius can have a passion about writing ✍🏼 like in their diaries or maybe writing books/mini stories
☀️ Pluto in Scorpio Generation was meant to bring back things that were classified by people as "taboo/forbidden" how many celebrities during the Pluto in Scorpio Generation were called bad names because they were bringing such things back...😨😨
☀️ Ascendant sextile or semi - sextile the sun has an easily likeable energy, a lot of people can like them because of their personality and aura
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☀️ Whenever I say "aspecting" in my observations I also mean the "parallels and contra parallels" and even the "minor aspects" like "quintile/Bi-quintile/semi-sextile/semi-square etc...
☀️ "Quintile" aspects are very beneficial idk why so many people consider them minor aspects they're pretty powerful in the chart
☀️ Aries and in general a lot of fire placements in the chart shows a hot temper, someone who gets easily angered or annoyed but not like in a crazy way
☀️ Juno asteroid code (3) in Pisces or Pisces Degrees (12°, 24°) have a special bounding, maybe love at first sight?? Falling in love quickly too and sometimes shy in love
☀️Juno asteroid code (3) in Capricorn or in Capricorn Degrees (10°, 22°) most natives have a long lasting relationships, respectful placements, even successful and hardworking partners
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𓃭Nants ingonyama bagithi baba
Sithi uhm ingonyama𓃭
──────────────────────
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𓃭Nants ingonyama bagithi baba
Sithi uhm ingonyama𓃭
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❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂
☀️ I remember vividly that last year on the same day I posted some Venus notes observations, for this year I wanted the theme to be different and I choose my favorite Disney movie: The Lion King (The movie from 2019 had me crying on me knees), the native language,the storyline, THE MUSIC OFC and the flora/fauna & overall the sub-saharan Africa is wonderful and beautiful, and because it happens to be my birthday in the same day I wanted to make this post in time 🥳☀️ The funny thing is that finally now I can check that solar return chart for the new year 2024 🥳
☀️ I hope you all have an amazing day full of love, blessings, a good vibe/energy and just do the things you love and that make you happy ☀️
H a r m o o n i x 4/2024
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loveemagicpeace · 1 month
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🏹1st house & You 🌌
💕1st house describes you as a person, your appearance. The Ascendant and the 1st house-This area of the chart denotes your body as the vehicle for your life force and vitality, and so suggests your sense of yourself as a physically separate individual. Being the symbol of the birth moment, it also describes your arrival into the world and the pattern of responses this sets up. Your Ascendant (or rising) sign is a powerful indicator of how you feel about yourself.💕
⚡️1st house Sun -the person usually looks proud, illuminated and casirmatic. The charisma of these persons is very noticeable. Many times their hair is noticed because it is like a lion's mane or it melts. They put a lot into their hair and take care of it. I notice that these people often dress in one color or wear various inscriptions, paintings related to childhood (many times you see cartoon T-shirts) or some kind of logos. Many times they like to dress in brands. Many times they come forward very confident, but in reality many times they are not at all. Many times the sun covers up their insecurity or weakness. You know how to enlighten others around you and people with this position are often popular among people. People love you quickly. You almost never experience something very terrible (unless there are aspects and other houses that are darker).
🌙1st house Moon- persons tend to appear more kind, caring and friendly. But they can also come forward capriciously (depending on their mood). Emotions are carried on their face and it is difficult to reveal them. Individuals with the Moon in the 1st House wear their hearts on their sleeves and follow their hearts. They have good intuition and are quick to feel things emotionally. Many times the moon creates a cancer look or makes a person's head rounder. People can have gentle soft appearance, a smiling face, and a yearning for comfort, pleasure, and luxury.
🍀1st house Mercury-people look thinner and taller. Usually, when you talk to them, they come across as very smart and intelligent. Many times there are people who have the energy to talk a lot. Above all, their mind and thinking is in the foreground. Many people can ask them for advice. Mercury also gives many thoughts, which you say out loud. You can practically speak your mind. These people also start talking quickly and are the initiators of topics. Maybe sometimes they say things out loud without meaning to. Many times they have multiple personalities and are never really committed to just one thing. They can quickly change their mind if they are not sure about it. What I also noticed is that in reality they talk a lot because they want to get rid of the unpleasant feeling of silence. They do not like the death of silence and many times they prefer noise.
🧚🏼‍♀️1st house Venus-venus usually gives feminine beauty and many people can find you beautiful. You can often get compliments. Your energy is relaxing and often these people are natural (they like natural beauty). This placement gives you a warm, friendly aura and an elegant air that people find irresistible. These individuals tend to be well liked and exude an aura of warmth, friendliness. These individuals tend to be extremely tolerant, accommodating and often compromise their own inner needs and wishes for the sake of maintaining peace and avoiding conflict. You tend to attract others to you quite readily, and rarely come on too strong or aggressively. Venus in the 1st, you might come across as charming, keen to get on with everyone and oil the wheels. There are people who will make you feel that you can be beautiful no matter what u wear. Although they are either very natural without make-up and especially if they have virgo rising. Or they may be obsessed with doing beauty touch-ups and make-up.
🦋1st house Mars- Mars here can come out all guns blazing, a pattern that may reflect emergencies in the birth experience or the early presence of a rival. There may be a lot of masculine energy here. These people know how to do men's jobs and can come forward quite dominantly and decisively. Their energy is usually more intense, strong and strict. You can have a more athletic body or you can have lots of muscles. Facial features tend to be more severe, strong and dark. Many times they emit more dangerous energy (people can be afraid of them). They are people who react quickly and fight for the things/people they love. Very passionate people. They are fearless and dare a lot. They will always be up for crazy things. What I noticed about these people is that thay often attract some situation that are more aggressive or people that following them or something like that(not always).
🐚1st house Saturn- people tend to look older than they really are. Many times they give off the energy of a parent or a more authoritative energy. They are responsible and serious people who do not like someone who is too childish. Otherwise, these people are non-judgmental, you will rarely ever see them judge someone. They may have weight problems and may fluctuate a lot. Their face is similar to saturn, when you look at their face you can see the shape of saturn. They have reinforced bones, especially if they are thin, their body shape is very noticeable. They usually have tattoos. There is one thing about Saturn people that they don't actually look like some kind of business oriented people, but they actually look opposite of that. Many times darker with my style or even emo style I notice many times. Although mostly more chipped/torn style. They love things that are dark or scary sometimes.
🫧1st house Neptune-this people have a magical outlook and energy. When you're in their presence, you feel like they're not real at all or like they're from a movie. They also have the appearance of a mermaid. They have shiny and pearly eyes. When you look into their eyes, it looks like you will get lost in them. They have hypnotic eyes. Their appearance is usually dreamy and many people cannot define exactly how they see their beauty. They have a very energetically magical approach (many times they leave special energy on others). But they can also draw a lot of other people's energy. People often ask them for help or advice. People can often be shy in front of them because they have celebrities energy. Many times they live in their dream world. Neptune's influence endows the individual with a profound understanding of their innermost personality. Eyes are often grey or blue of a rather cold shade.
🧃1st house Uranus-your energy is above all unique and special. People find you unique and different. You have your own energy. You dare to be different and you like to stand out with your appearance, clothes and opinion. Many times your opinion or view may differ from others. Your style can often be very interesting and you know how to style pieces of clothing that others would never do very well. Things look special on you. With Uranus in the 1st house can be described as having unusual and unconventional qualities that person have. You may have a particular body shape or there may be a part of you that is very different from others and people find that interesting about you. This makes you stand out from the crowd.
💘1st house Jupiter-happiness is with you everywhere. There are many happy coincidences. You have a confident and optimistic energy. People can often see you as someone who always finds a way. You can be a very good teacher to others and have a lot of wisdom about things. Regardless of everything, you always find faith and trust in the things you love to do and trust that things will turn out well. You are a spontaneous person who sees life as full of opportunities. You never stop living and many times you live for the moment. Also gives you a charming and attractive appearance, which will draw people towards you. Your charming personality makes you stand out in a crowd and people admire you for the same. You love learning new things and gathering new experiences by traveling around the world. Your personality may be infused with humor, joy, and generosity. You like to experience things even if you never heard of them before. This is like a challenge to you.
🌌1st house Pluto- Your personality is many times an enigma. Because you always decide how much of yourself you want to share and show to others. Sometimes you can trust the wrong people too quickly, and sometimes it takes a long time to trust new ones. A powerful and transformative placement that can significantly influence a person's life and personality. Although pluto is prominent and the first house is the most expressive house, I would say that sometimes it can be difficult to express how you really feel or to share it with others. It is important that when you meet people / when you are dealing with a certain situation, you always listen to your feelings. It is good to carry a smoky quartz crystal with you. With Pluto you can find strength and courage and show people your strong energy. You can also feel people's souls. The first house is your appearance, it's good to change your appearance evey now or then because that's how you leave the past behind. Also pay attention to the signs around you cuz sometimes people trying to tell you something or the signs itself try to tell you something and you ignored it. Cuz pluto people have the tendency to ignore all of the signs because they don't trust them but it's actually the signs that are good for them (especially if this sign is repeated several times). And many times these people change their appearance when they want to escape from someone or change their life.
🎸For personal readings u can sign up here: https://snipfeed.co/bekylibra 🎸
-Rebekah🫧♥️🌙
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onyourowndaisymae · 5 months
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"is... is that my sweater?"
satan notes the lethargic way you look up from your book, watching heavy eyelids lead a slow blink. whatever dusty tome lies in your hands has clearly lured you halfway to dreamland-- and from the looks of it, your cozy attire and the crackle of the nearby fireplace didn't seem to help much, either.
"huh?"
"are you wearing my sweater?" he asks, softer this time.
you let your head fall down to your own chest. you stare at the familiar green sweater on your body for a few moments before lifting your head.
"huh?" you repeat, too tired to comprehend the question for a long moment. then, "... oh. yeah."
a warm chuckle rumbles in his chest as he comes closer. satan had been looking for his sweater all day-- left only in a black undershirt, because it was more about the principle of finding it than needing it-- but he had been wholly unaware he'd left it in your room earlier that day. he couldn't bring himself to regret it, though. you look quite cozy cuddled up on the library sofa like that, swaddled in a blanket and his scent, lost in some book like a vision from an old painting. how he wishes he'd been a little quieter entering the library-- maybe he could have snapped a photo of you like this for himself.
as your lover, satan knows he should probably escort you to bed for a proper rest. but a selfish part of him wants to bask in this scene longer, to let the storm that rages in him find solace at this little slice of heaven. it's odd for a demon to crave peace like this. you've domesticated him in that way-- like a feral cat off the street finding comfort in a stranger's apartment, you've lulled him into a sense of contentness he didn't think he'd find in this lifetime.
oh, what a wonder you are.
"do you mind a little company?"
you nod, sleepily, yawning through what was intended to be a verbal response, but satan's at your side before you make yourself try again. his hand finds your shoulder and coaxes you to sit up. with a little adjusting, he slides into the space behind you and urges you to lean back into his chest. his legs stay on either side of you-- it's warm, comforting, doing nothing to help you stay awake. but it doesn't seem like satan minds your drowsiness.
his eyes fall to the nearly discarded book in your hands. emerald eyes scan over the words. they're familiar, causing a curious itch in his brain that lingers for a few seconds before his epiphany.
"is this... that book i read last week?"
"mhmm. i wanted--" another yawn, "-- to understand what you were talking about, but... i got sleepy."
he understands now. his sweater on your warm body, the library couch, the low fire nearby-- you're indulging in a small taste of his world.
what did he do to deserve someone as wonderful as you?
"i can read it to you, if you'd like," he murmurs, low and quiet. if you wanted the full experience, he'd give it to you-- complete with a nap in his arms. it's selfish, though. he really just wants an excuse to admire you up close, to lose himself in thought about how much he truly, deeply adores you. sometimes the sensation is so overwhelming that it shows on his face in flushed cheeks and soft eyes-- and that is a little too embarrassing to be caught with by anyone, but especially by you.
when you snuggle into his chest, he begins to read from the top of the page where you left off. it doesn't take long for your breathing to even out, your body to grow still and heavy in his grasp. he slides the bookmark between old pages where you originally left off. satan predicts you'll forget most everything he read to you by the time you wake up.
his mind wanders to the soundtrack of your peaceful breathing. he's grateful for lazy days like this. being able to bask in your presence is a gift. to know that you yourself were creating a similar experience by hiding away in one of his favorite reading spots, well... he's lucky you're asleep, as the flush on his cheeks only grows hotter at the thought.
maybe he'll let you borrow his things more often.
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dejwrld · 5 months
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CHOSOIST KINKTOBER GAMING PLAYLIST — WEEK 2
( GUARDIAN ANGEL ) 🎮 GUARDIAN ANGEL!SEPHIROTH X READER
— game synopsis: he's been your guardian angel since you were sixteen years old. protecting you from danger you didn't see coming, but now that you're slowly wanting space from him—he makes it his mission to remind you who you belong to until you take your final breath.
( cw ) ⸻ fem reader, female anatomy described, slight enemies to fuckers, reader somewhat purposely put herself in danger, possessive!sephiroth, mentions of sephiroth having pretty white wings, mating press position, cream pies, mentions of soul ties,
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀kinktober masterlist / previous playthrough
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You’ve known him since you were sixteen years old. The mere memory of him grabbing at your backpack strap to tug you out of the way as you were about to walk into ongoing traffic imprints your brain like a nostalgic TV memory. He was a sixteen-year-old guardian angel who aged through the years as you grew, interfering in your life as if you were the most life-threatening person ever. 
Freshman year of college, he’s taking the red solo cup of whatever mixed potion the older frat guys made out of your hand. This led to practically the whole campus thinking you were chronically insane as you argued with no one because they couldn’t see what you saw. He interfered with your life at moments when you had it all under control, and he didn’t need to baby you as if you didn’t. But you were grateful for him, and the things he did stop when things got bad.
It's like killing a guy who roofied you at a bar. Despite the toxic drugs from drinking your drink, it had you feeling like you were in another world. You remember the crimson-red liquid staining his large, elegant white wings after the deed was done. After that, he’s never left your side, and you grew to feel suffocated. You couldn’t do much in your life if you had your guardian angel down your neck twenty-four-seven commenting on you getting hurt or dying. 
Now an adult, he still was here. Despite you being perfectly fine. No freak accidents, no near-death experiences. He still was here lurking around as if you were a child. 
Right now, watching as you poorly attempted to get laid. Your panties dangle from your ankle as you wait for the guy to insert, but as your horny meter slowly decreases—so does the poor stranger you met at a bar cock. Your eyes averted between your bodies as he aggressively pumped his condom-covered cock; you could hear his laughs as he was sitting on your kitchen counter chewing on an apple. 
Fuckin’ Sephiroth.
“You know what? That’s okay. Just leave.” You pushed the guy off you, limp dick and all while you’re scrambling to tug your panties back on. 
“What? It just takes some time,” The guy’s tugging his pants up in frustration. “Just please…baby.” He’s grasping on you, and you’re swatting his hand away like it’s an annoying fruit fly. 
“Just go. I’m no longer in the mood.” You warned.
This was a warning not only for yourself but for him. You had a 6’1 angel looming around your apartment who didn’t care to kill someone—especially a person who wasn’t following directions. Your eyes darted from him in the kitchen to the guy who kissed his teeth while collecting his belongings.
“Don’t call me anymore! You completely wasted my time.” He sneered at you while leaving your apartment. The door closed with a harsh slam that made you jump. 
As silence drifts over your apartment, and the only thing you can hear is the sound of that annoying clock in your kitchen ticking, you lean back on the couch with a sigh. “You know, you completely ruined the vibe, you know?” Your eyes land on the white-haired male as he finishes the apple he obnoxiously chews on.
“Do not blame it on me.” He tosses the apple in a trash can and stands up to close the space between you.
“I am blaming you because it seems like every romantic connection I attempt to make, you are there to ruin it.” You sneered at him before sitting up. “I don’t think this will work anymore, Sephiroth.” 
“Are you saying you want to release me of my duties of being your guardian angel?” He asks. You can feel he got closer despite shifting your eyes closed to calm yourself down from this talk. 
You two have been together for years. He’s been protecting you for years, and now it felt so suffocating that you couldn’t breathe. Sometimes, you wanted to release him of his duties, but you knew when you did that every memory you’ve shared with him would vanish. It would be like you two have never met. 
The sight of him with his elegant white wings on his back. The sight of blood staining his pale skin after murdering someone that hurt you. The look of worry when you almost walk into traffic, and he was a split second from being too late. 
He was yours just as much as you were his. But you needed space. 
“Yes.” You breathed out, pushing yourself off the couch to enter your room. “You know, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, but I don’t think we can co-exist in each other’s lives anymore.” You explained you turned around, and he was leaning against your doorframe with the most obnoxious face. 
It was as if your words were going out one ear and the other for him. “We’re not young anymore. I don’t need you being so….so.” You were searching for the word to describe how you felt—frustration riddling your bones as you attempted to express yourself. 
Sephiroth took steps forward, closing the gap between you two. When he was towering over you with such little care at how close he was to you—he fixed your tank top strap and let his slender fingers linger on your shoulder just a little longer to cause goosebumps to garnish your skin immediately. 
“Possessive.” He finishes your sentence as his teeth graze upon his lower lip. “Is that the word you’re searching for, my little ward?” 
And with challenging eyes, you met his and said, “Yes. Possessive, like you own me or something.” 
His chuckles. But this chuckle was different from the one you have heard. It felt more sinister, more agitated. 
“You’re stuck with me, love. If you like it or not. We’re bound together until you die of old age or better yet, I briefly take my eyes off you as fate finally chooses a moment for you to die. Maybe a bus will hit you as you walk into traffic for texting on that silly device of yours, or maybe you’ll accidentally hit your head.” 
Your eyebrows furrow together in frustration and anger at his words. 
“You enjoy my company but don’t want to admit it. You think I didn’t notice the way you bring home little flings to spite me. You think I can’t hear the way your heartbeat quickens at the sight of me watching you get fucked by some man who can’t even make you orgasm. Sephiroth’s eyes glance over your body like he was observing you under a microscope. “So tell me, Y/N.” His finger’s toying with that strap on your tank top that keeps falling off your shoulder. 
“How many times have you imagined me, your sworn protector—your guardian angel fucking you?” His fingers drag alongside your nipples that harden through the thin white fabric of your tank top. “And don’t lie; I know when you’re lying to me.” 
You couldn’t quite remember what you had said after his words for your knees to be pressed upon your stomach and for Sephiroth’s cock to be buried into your throbbing cunt while your moans bounced off the walls. The pornographic sound of heated skin slapping against each other with the sound of your headboard banging against the wall was like music to your ears. But you enjoyed the sight of Sephiroth more. 
His crystal white hair fell in his face so perfectly. Comically enough, you wanted to say he looked like an angel. His eyes kept averting between your fucked out face and in between your body. With each glance down there, it seemed he fucked you into the mattress even harder. Instantly, your legs snake around his waist, completely trapping him from depriving you of what you were so eager for.
Sephiroth chuckles darkly through your pants of desperation, “Seems you’re enjoying this a little too much.” He mumbles. He pulls his cock entirely out of you, leaving you whining for more. 
He guides his cock in between your pussy lips rubbing in the mixture of your essence and pre-cum. Your back arched off the mattress with urgency, and he pushed you back down so you could endure the pleasurable torture of his cock teasing you until you were staining the cotton sheets below your naked body. With each stroke between your puffy lips, you’re squeezing your eyes shut tightly to prevent even the littlest thought of him seeing you like this. You didn’t think you could fathom the mere embarrassment. 
“Come on, you don’t want to see how well you take me?” He questions, his voice rings with a teasing tone that makes your pussy pulse. 
“Fine then.” He mumbles what seems to himself before he hooks his strong arms under your knees, completely trapping you under him and what’s to come.
You wondered if Sephiroth could hear how fast your heart was beating. It felt like it was bouncing around your chest like a small ball in a pinball machine. The feeling of his thick tip brushing against your entrance felt like the world had stopped. Perhaps it did. The idea of a guardian angel fucking his ward into her mattress had to be some form of rule breaker, right? Maybe, just maybe—God had briefly paused the world to give you time to weigh out the pros and cons of this.
But when Sephiroth bottomed down inside you, you felt the world unpause, and a wave of pleasure travel across your body. You even could hear yourself let out a sigh of relief—as if you’ve been waiting for this moment in centuries. The way his cock was inside, you felt like it was a missing piece in a puzzle you need. It fit perfectly, but when he started rotating and thrusting his hips—you couldn’t help but call out his name like it was a scripture.
It wasn’t as if you could do anything else but take his sensual thrusts. The mating press position trapped you from doing anything else but that. The way he was making you feel at the moment had you ignoring all that. Your moans echoed into his ear, and Sephiroth was very responsive because he’d grunt back like a rabid animal in heat. Ensuring that the feeling was mutual. That he was feeling just as good as you were. 
“After this, you’ll be stuck with me forever, right?” Sephiroth asked. His tongue drags alongside the bridge of your right ear, and instantly, your legs snake around his waist, locking your feet together so he won’t let go.
“Mhm, that’s what I thought.” His words send a chill down your spine as he continues to fuck into the mattress.
The pornographic sound of heated flesh echos upon your bedroom, and your eyes seem to squeeze shut in bliss. Savoring the moment between the two of you until you couldn’t anymore. Your pussy pulsed around his cock, and your thighs quivered under your guardian angel’s touch. His grip on you grew tighter, and you knew that he was unraveling right on top of you. His groans that echoed in your ear changed into whines of desperation. If you were being honest with yourself, you haven’t seen him this desperate in your life.
But it was a reason for that because, in just three seconds, he was a coming mess. He didn’t even bother to pull out, either. His nails dug into your heated flesh with each thrust inside of you, ensuring that each droplet of his cum stayed inside of you. With your legs wrapped around his waist, you leaned up to indulge in a heated kiss to seal the deal that you knew was going to follow you for years.
You truly were stuck with him forever until you took your last breath. 
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TAGS // @salaciousdoll @syndrlla97 @lilvampirina @msun1c0rn
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kelstey · 2 months
Text
i waited
theodore nott x reader
warnings : none
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❃゜・。. ・°゜✼ ゜°・ . 。・゜❃
theo kissed your forehead, both you bodies sticky and sweaty from the moments prior. you smiled to yourself as his muscular arms made their way around you.
"i don't think i'll ever get over how beautiful you are," theo ran his fingers through yourhair.
"thank you, theo," you turned your head and kissed his lips.
your happiness was quickly replaced by a sudden wave of what felt like guilt and shame.
the two of you had always been close, sharing kisses, looks, even touching when no oneelse would be looking. that part killed you.
no one knew. not even pansy and luna. given, luna may not be accepted by a large majority of slytherins but you couldn't help but love her, she was amazing and understood you in a way no one else did.
that's how private the two of you had decided- well improvised on. you wanted to show him off. you wanted to kiss him before class, hold hands when sat next to each other, dance in front of everyone, everything.
but he didn't want that. he liked the privacy. but you were never sure if that was really a cover for simply using you.
but you let him.
"i should get going, i'm going out with luna to the three broomsticks," you moved out of theo's arms and started picking up the clothes that were discarded all over the room after theo ripped them off of you.
"tell her i said hi," theo said, another thing that you liked about him. he liked luna. but he was partially stupid as you couldn't tell luna that he said hi, she would ask questions as to why he would even do that.
"i think you forgot we are a secret," you put your tights on.
"fuck, yeah. well- have fun then," theo waved and you hurried out, still attempting to tie your tie.
you felt the tears coming. you couldn't help it. you felt idiotic to allow theo to walk all over you. you promised yourself you would never let a man take you for a fool, but no. here you are, years later, being taken as a fool by a man you were in love with.
obviously he didn't know, he couldn't. it would ruin everything.
the two of you agreed to strictly have just sex. just sex. just stupid fucking amazing sex. he was a natural at it, he knew how to make you cum in minutes. he had you wrapped around his finger.
you typically wouldn't let anyone see or touch you, but theo? he could do anything and you would let him. it also felt like a weird bonding experience.
sex is intimate, of course. it's the closest two souls can get to each other. and you were convinced that the countless amount of times you did it in a day with him made some sort of connection.
you wiped your tears away as you entered the three broomsticks and saw luna sat alone in your usual corner. "luna!"
"you're here!" she exclaimed and got up out of her seat to hug you.
"of course, you know i love our chats here," you smiled and the two of you sat down.
"are you okay?" she asked as she observed the mascara which was evidently smudged under your eyes.
you had to tell her. you had to tell someone. there's no one you would rather tell than her. "luna, please, pinky promise me you won't ever tell a soul."
she nodded, "your secret is safe with me. you know that."
you looked around the place, only noticing two other tables of people who seemed to be in their own little worlds. "okay, me and theo have been hooking up. like friends with benefits style, but i'm in love with him. i cant keep doing this. it hurts, luna. i want to love him and kiss him around our friends but i can't."
luna sat and listened to you ramble on, a few tears shedding in the process. "that's horrible. but you must know, no man, especially one who you aren't even dating, should ever make you feel this way. the right one will make you cry only tears of happiness and pleasure, if you know what i mean."
her comment made you laugh, this was why you loved her. "thanks lu. sorry about that rant, i haven't told anyone and so feel special you're first to hear about this fucked up situation."
"i'm glad you can trust me, but i think i may have an idea," luna sat upright. "how about you stop meeting him so often? maybe start seeing him once a day; then once every few days. if you want to take it a step further you could even start hanging out with another boy more."
"luna you're a fucking genius," you reached over and hugged her.
"you know i always have the best ideas," she giggled.
just then the door opened and luna's eyes focused behind you, as your back was turned to the door.
"who is it?" you asked as you noticed her smile had dropped.
"don't turn around if you don't want to cry," she said and you immediately turned your head 180°.
"no fucking way," your jaw dropped as you saw theo walk in with cho. "is he fucking shitting me right now? luna tell me i'm dreaming. tell me."
"i'm sorry, babe. do you want to go somewhere else?" she asked.
"yes it is best we go. i don't think i'll be able to hold back a fucking fist in both their stupid faces," you both got up.
and as for your amazing luck, they both spotted you and luna. theo called out your name and walked over to you. "hey, what's up?" he asked with a stupid smile on his face as if he didn't know what he was doing.
"hey theo," luna gave a small wave and he smiled at her.
"we were just leaving," you said and took luna's hand and the two of you walked out. you heard theo say something but you were too distracted by the ringing in your ears.
"it's okay, it's okay," luna engulfed you into a very big, very needed hug.
"why would he do that? i literally told him i was going to be here with you?" you cried into her arms.
"he's a boy, they don't think with their brains, only their dicks."
-
it had been a few days since the incident and you still had not spoke to theo. you were going out of your way to ignore him, not caring if it hurt you more than him.
you would spot theo in the halls, once he noticed you, you had already turned around and walked the complete opposite way before he even got a chance to call out your name.
it hurt too much. it didn't help that after those first couple of days, he eventually stopped trying to get your attention. instead he was being all handsy with cho.
it killed you, hardly being able to speak or react. it also hurt that you had to distance yourself from the other slytherins who noticed the lack of your presence.
but it wasn't all too bad, instead of hanging with them you and luna started hanging out more. she would check up on you constantly, making sure to cheer you up to avoid you thinking about him.
she knew you were deeply upset about it. she allowed you to grieve, cry and let all of it out. she herself had never experienced this type of hurt, but she was almost grateful as she saw how badly it impacted you.
aside from not speaking to theo, you kept your head up high. you still went to class, still did your work, still sat at the slytherin table for meals. everyone noticed the tension between the two of you.
no one asked, or at least in front of your face. they decided it was better to keep quiet and try keep things as normal as could be.
amongst those few days of hurting, you started growing closer with mattheo. he was also there for you, he wasn't sure exactly what happened with theo but he knew it was hurting you and so he decided to be there for you.
he also had to admit that it was also due to the fact that he fancied you. you began sitting next to him at meals, class, even sometimes being spotted after classes walking together.
this didn't go unnoticed by theo, of course. he wanted to punch mattheo in his face. mattheo was one of theo's closest friends and to see him get close with you, it also hurt him.
it was a stupid, stupid situation. the two of you pretending to move on while both your feelings grew stronger- though a large majority of it was anger due to the fact you were not communicating.
or at least verbally communicating. whenever you looked up, no matter where you were, his eyes were the first ones to meet yours.
it was ridiculous, really. you couldn't seem to get away from him, he seemed to stalk you as if you were prey. he couldn't get you out of his mind.
-
you looked over at the clock, 2:56am. great. you couldn't seem to sleep for some reason and it was starting to annoy you. you quietly got out of bed, slipping on a random hoodie on the floor and your slippers before leaving your dorm. you knew that after 12am, no teachers or prefects would be on lookout so you didn't have to worry too much about getting caught.
you made your way up to the astronomy tower, your favourite spot to go when you were unable to sleep. you reached into your pj short pockets and retrieved the joint that you rolled earlier.
you got the lighter out and attempted to light it. of course it had to be out of fluid. you were just away to get up when you noticed theo standing behind you.
"you spooky bitch! why the fuck would you stand there like that, holy fuck bro. you better be glad i'm a teenager and not an old woman cause you would've gave me a heart attack," you scolded him as you raised a hand over your heart to relieve yourself of the pure distress he just put you through.
"calm down, darling. here's a lighter," he passed you his stainless steel lighter. the same one you carved both of your initials into. you were surprised he used it.
"you don't get to do that," you looked up at him, feeling anger flowing through your veins. theo looked at you, he seemed confused but also like he knew what was happening.
"you don't get to have cuddle me, kiss me, make love to me, everything a couple would do, and then fucking show up to a place where you knew i was at with another stupid fucking girl! do you know how long i've waited for you? years theo, fucking years! i thought it was best to keep waiting, hoping for the day that you would admit you loved me back, but you didn't. but i still waited, theo, i fucking waited. i would never do this if it was anyone else," you felt tears threatening to spill and a lump in your throat.
theo remained quiet, he looked down at his hands and played with the silver rings which decorated his stupidly pretty hands. you waited for him to say something, anything. but he didn't. once again, but were you surprised.
"have your stupid lighter back. i never should've carved our initials in it thinking we could've been something," you shoved the silver lighter into his hands before walking off.
❃゜・。. ・°゜✼ ゜°・ . 。・゜❃
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f1fnatic · 6 months
Text
LIAR ⤿ c. sainz 55
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→ ( in which. . . ) you and carlos have been dating for three years. carlos started to grow distant. after charles shows you a picture of his infidelity, you catch him in the act after a day at work.
→ ( fanfic genre. . . ) written
→ ( pairing. . . ) cheater!carlos sainz x longtime!girlfriend!reader
→ (content warnings/disclaimers. . . ) mentions of sex, language, yelling, cheating, alcohol consumption, angst
→ ( author's note. . . ) this was my first time writing angst/cheating. it was fun experimenting with this type of writing. i hope you enjoy! see end for more.
→ ( masterlist )
"you fucking liar!" echoed through the otherwise quiet apartment. hurried footsteps sounded from the hallway, another pair following the first close behind. was this what everything came to? walking out on your supposed soulmate after years together? how did you get here? and what did you do to deserve this?
one week prior ↴
you had noticed the distance growing. carlos was becoming closed off and almost secretive. he didn't confide in you as much as he used to. you didn't think twice about it and assumed it was something to do with work. ferrari had been going through a rough patch, both him and charles struggling to start or finish a race for the past three weeks.
you understood how stressful being a driver was. you had been around formula 1 for a while now, because of him. you and carlos met when he drove for redbull, in 2015. the two of you started dating shortly after in 2017.
you were always there for him, through thick and thin. through the blood, sweat, and tears. after every win, podium, loss, dnf, dns, etc. you understood how hard it was for him to perform well but not get the results wanted.
so, when you received a picture of carlos with another woman, a blond, on his lap, hands on his shoulders and lips touching, you were livid. charles had sent it to you, with a simple caption that read "i am sorry." it was the after-party of a not-so-successful qatar grand prix.
rage, confusion, sadness, and disgust coursed through your veins. the thought of him finding comfort in a woman who wasn't you made you sick. your hands shook, eyes blurred, and breath quickened.
you could not believe that carlos would ever cheat, especially on you. you had given him everything. love, attention, comfort, and compassion. and this is what he gave you in return? you had sacrificed so much to make him happy. you felt useless. had you thrown away six years of your life just to get cheated on? did he feel guilty? did he regret his choice to kiss a random girl? thoughts sped through your mind.
what did you do until he got home? your apartment no longer felt like a home. it felt gross and unnatural to be in there. to think that the person you shared it with was sharing a different room across the world. did he share your bed with someone else as well? the pictures of the two of you that hung on the wall seemed to mock you.
every passing minute became more and more painful. could you act like everything was fine when he eventually did get home? or would you lose it immediately the second he walked in through the front door?
unfortunately, you knew that only time would tell.
present day ↴
today was the day that carlos got home. you were at work, trying to distract yourself from the inevitable conflict about to occur. you reached the front door of your shared apartment. shaking hands held the key and you placed it in the lock and turned it. pushing open the door, the apartment was quiet, suspiciously quiet.
you noticed that the kitchen was a mess. plates and cooking utensils were in the sink, dirty and waiting to be washed. two wine glasses left discarded on the quartz bar. a bottle of red cabernet left opened and almost empty. one of the glasses had lipstick stains littered around the rim.
your heartbeat quickened. adrenaline began to pump through your body. you quickly toed off your shoes, and your feet ached after a long day. you also discarded your purse and jacket, making your way to your and carlos' bedroom.
as you got closer, you heard moaning. your heart dropped to your stomach. you opened the door as soon as you reached it. low and behold, it was carlos and the same blond from the picture that charles sent you. the blond was on top of carlos, head back and mouth open in euphoria. carlos had the same expression as her on his face.
tears immediately welled in your eyes and quickly fell. you felt defeated. it was one thing to see a picture of your boyfriend kissing another girl, but to catch him with that same girl in the bed that you shared, in the same bed that he fucked you in, was different.
finally, carlos opened his eyes and noticed you in the doorway. his hands found the blond's hips to stop her from moving. his eyes widened with guilt and surprise; mouth wide open in shock.
"y-y/n?!" he shouted. the blond turned to look at you and god, she was pretty. you partially understood why he did it. she covered herself with one of the loose sheets and unstrattled carlos, allowing him to get up.
"y/n, i can explain-" he starts.
"explain what, carlos?!" you shout, cutting him off. "how on earth can you explain me walking in on you fucking another girl in our bed?!"
"it was a simple mistake, mi amor, that's all." he tried to reason, smiling meekly. the nickname that once held so much love now held nothing. the name that made butterflies flutter in your stomach now made them sink.
"you fucking liar!" you screamed. "this was on purpose!" it echoed through the now quiet apartment. you turned your back on the pair and walked away. your hurried footsteps sounded from the hallway, carlos' pair following yours closely behind.
"y/n, stop!" he yelled, grabbing your wrist and turning you around to face him.
"do not fucking touch me!" you say, yanking your wrist from his grip. the complete and utter audacity he had to try to attempt to explain why he cheated. "was i not enough for you? did i do something wrong? did i not fuck you the right way? did i not get you off fast enough? huh, carlos? what made you decide to throw away six years together huh? six fucking years!"
carlos stares at you, his brown eyes that you thought were breathtaking were now filling you with disdain. "tell me carlos!"
"i-i don't know why," he stutters, turning his gaze to the floor, taking a sudden interest in the hardwood paneling. "you were enough, you still are enough. please y/n, we can move past this. i was drunk and stupid, my judgement was clouded." he tries to reason, reaching to grab both of your hands.
"no, stop it. no amount of time can get me to forgive you for this. i will never forgive you, carlos." you said his name with such disgust that he flinched. "charles showed me a picture of you kissing her in qatar in a bar during an after-party. i have known for a week. but to think that you would take her into our home and fuck her?"
"wait, wait, wait. charles texted you?" carlos questioned. there was anger present in his voice. "why the fuck did he text you?" it seemed that he was upset at the fact that charles told you he cheated.
i scoff, crossing my arms. "unbelievable, you are unbelievable. you cheated on me and you are caught up on the fact that your teammate texted me proof? how much of an egotistical cunt do you have to be?"
"me? i'm the unbelievable one? you're the one walking out on me because of a stupid, drunken mistake." he says nonchalantly, glossing over the insult. it's almost like he didn't care that your relationship was ending.
"fuck you, carlos. i am done. we are done. do not call me, do not try to find me to convince me to come back to you." the tears were flowing vigorously down your cheeks. you knew your makeup was running, but you didn't care. "i am fucking done. thanks for nothing. i hope have fun fucking that slut and that you are happy with the choice you made." you finish, walking away through the home that once brought you so much joy to be in.
you gathered your things. purse, shoes, phone, coat, and keys. you would get everything else later. you opened the door and then slammed it once stepping outside. it was then when every emotion hit you at once. violent sobs wracked your body making you shake. you slid down the door hugging yourself. you could not believe it. you don't know if you ever would.
after eventually calming down, you decide to call the one person who made you aware of this whole situation. you clicked on his contact's name and then the call button. you placed your phone on your ear to hear two rings before he picked up.
"hello? y/n? why are you calling." asked the voice.
"charles," you pause. the question of 'was this a good idea?' ran through your head. but, at this point you didn't care. carlos and what he thought was the least of your worries. "i need you to pick me up."
low key happy with this one, wrote it last night and like where it went. i think i might turn it into a charles x reader :P let me know in the comments if you want that :) thank you for reading! as usual, feedback and requests are welcome; make sure to leave a comment and kudos! (only if you want :P)
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bfbkg · 8 months
Note
just something so intimate as much as it is dirty is giving kats a handjob. he’s kissing & groaning into your neck, feeling the vibrations EVERYWHERE. whispering the nastiest & loveliest things in your ear. & the way he occasionally opens his eyes & looks at you with so much intensity & love. the making out is A1 of course
erotic but passionate is my favorite genre 😩
so real sames with me that’s my fave genre tooooo
cw: minors dni, nsfw
sitting beside him on the sofa, half on him. your leg is across his lap, sitting on your bent other one, hand drifting to his neck to cheek to shoulder and lastly, your other hand is playing with him.
he thinks it’s crazy that you both are at the point that your hand is better than his. he’s had years of experience with his own hand for it to come crumbling down with you. barely satisfied when he strokes himself but you? paired with your hot breath at his ear, sucking his earlobe and whispering the dirtiest shit. your chest pressed against his arm. having you on him, warm and full of life, upgrades this once solo experience to one that can’t be beaten.
one of his hands land in the centre of your back, keeping you tight to him with no space for air to float between. the whole thing feels out of body, every tug of your snug fist on his cock feels as if his soul is getting dragged out. he’s barely coherent, on the edge of delusion, breath coming out harshly.
“you’re so fuckin’… oh shit this isn’t normal,” he blurts, lifting his head from the sofa and slowly opening his eyes like they weigh the world.
you flick your eyes from his cum soaked cock, your fingers glistening, and up into his ruby ones. it looks as if he’s already cum since you’ve been dragging this out for so long (he loves it).
your chest is heaving just from the sight of him. you shift on him slightly, deciding not to rub yourself on his thigh just yet. “what’s not normal, gorgeous?”
the moan he releases is orgasmic in your ears. it flows through your brain and releases bucket loads of hormones and endorphins and all those things that make you want to rut your hips hard on a surface. him specifically. fuck.
his eyes are clenched shut again, his jaw tensed. bursts of sweat are forming at his hairline and his biceps are straining against his black t-shirt. nobody should have ever given you power over a man this strong.
“feelin’ like this. i’m about to fuckin’ burst but i don’t wanna,” he drawls breathless, throat dry and you just want to see how he’d react so you let go.
you stop pumping his cock, to see the hard limb with a life of its own slap against his chest. you’ve said it before but you’ll say it again. katsuki is beautiful. especially so close to the edge. his joggers are only under his ass so only his cock is out, the only bit of skin minus his arms and head. both items of clothing stained from his own mess. his tip is a beaming red, glossy and making your mouth water, drawing you to wrap your lips around him. he’s got a couple thick veins that would feel good against your tongue too.
bakugou groans, irritated and pent up. is it odd to say he’s equally grateful to have a change catch his breath? but it’s the most uncomfortable experience of his life with the pulsing in his lower half.
“why’d you stop?” he twitches against his stomach.
“wanted see how you look.”
you drag your eyes from his dick to his eyes. sweaty, ready to beg and stupidly sexy.
“and?” he’s trying to breathe, licking a stripe across his lip.
“you’re unbelievable.”
bakugou blinks at you, he definitely wasn’t expecting that word. but he gets what you mean because he feels it about you too.
he cups the back of your head with his palm, pulling you to his lips in a wet and messy kiss. it’s pure tongue, lust and love, so heavy that you feel like you could orgasm just from it. your hand drifts back to his cock, squeezing tightly and your lover groans in your mouth.
“let me come and i’ll eat you out till you’re cryin’.”
you nod against his lips, your thumb rubbing against his tip.
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trancylovecraft · 1 month
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Hello Girlie! I saw that your requests are open (even with the hiatus, take care of yourself:3) so, I wanted to know if it's okay if I make my own? From Yandere Lucifer Morningstar's general headcanons(from Hazbin Hotel), perhaps the reader could take Eve's place, being the "first sinner" or/and converted demon like Lilith.
If you're already maxed out with Requests, that's fine! I will order in another time, take all the time you need❤️You can ignore this if that's the case
(HAZBIN) YANDERE! LUCIFER MORNINGSTAR x EVE! READER: Headcannons
RECEIPT ✂- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
BARISTA'S NOTE: HEYYYY GIRLIE!!! THANKS SO MUCH!! i love that u requested him cause he's one of my favourites (i had a lot of fun with this req, LOVE THE CONCEPT) and would be if it wasn't for Carmilla :]. FANDOM: Hazbin Hotel
Thank you for ordering!
Come again soon!
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Lucifer Morningstar! King of Hell, King of Pride and one goofy motherfucker!
Also a dangerous yandere to have.
I headcannon Lucifer as a Desperate, Possessive, Protective and Worshiping yandere.
Desperate in the way that Lucifer is just so lonely. Even when he did have something with Lilith in the beginning (They never got married in this scenario), It never felt connected. Even as the ugly duckling amongst the angels, He loves you because maybe.. Just maybe, You think like him, Maybe you love him. And he NEEDS you to love him too.
Possessive in the way that this ties into his Desperation, So enamoured and focused on getting you to love him that he's bitter towards anyone who you even glance at. You're his, Lucifer gets antsy if you even look another persons way (God forbid, Adams.). You should look at him, Listen to him and his ideas.
Protective in the way that he's terrified of losing you. You're still only mortal, And if you die then you'll fall into hell (If not, Heaven) and even Lucifer knows that's no place for you to be! You're too good for a place like that, He needs to make sure you'll be fine with him down there.. Especially with all the sinners running about.
And finally, Worshiping in the way that he just adores you. I mean, Come on. You're gorgeous, Intelligent, Curious, Brave and everything else he could ever want! How could he not worship you so?
So to establish you as an Eve! Reader, We're gonna go off my interpretation of Eve since we haven't seen her in the show yet.
You are you, Created from Adams left rib while the actual Eve was created from Adam's right.
God made both you and Eve to give Adam a choice of wife, Whichever one he chose would stand at his side for all of eternity. However the one that he didn't choose..
Well, You weren't quite sure what would happen to them, But you knew that you didn't want it to be you.
Eve was made beautiful, She was made pure and orderly. In other words, Eve was subserviant. Though you loved her like a sister, She was very much unlike you..
You on the other hand was made intelligent, Curious of the natural world and adventurous to the last letter. You craved knowledge, You craved to experiment.
In other words you were messy, Subserviant not to man but to your carnal desire to learn. But both you and your sister knew very well of what happened to Adam's first wife, So you knew that you had to go along with it all.
Lucifer came across you one day when he gazed upon the garden of Eden. He was startstruck when he saw you bathe within one of Eden's many springs, Washing your body on your lonesome while humming some original symphonic tune.
Lucifer was lured to you by your song, Him being an avid musician was not immune to your call. But he was even more entranced once he saw you in person, Your body only a silhouette in the fireflies that danced around you.
Of course by now he had been banished, So he watched you in the form of a snake in a tree.
Lucifer thought you were stunning at first sight, Watching as you bathed yourself in springwater and sing your siren's song. And he felt awkward, Nervous to approach you especially after his banishment.
So that's all he did, He just watched.
But that changed once you turned you caught eye of him too, Pausing your bath once you saw the pretty white snake hanging from the tree just a bit away from your spring.
Sure, Eden has a lot of animals, Snakes included but you've never seen one with such gorgeous white scales like this one. So you're curious, Beginning to churn your way through the waist-deep waters towards him.
Lucifer instantly starts panicking, You're actually approaching him?! As much as he does want to talk to you, He certainly hasn't gained the courage yet!
You make your way over and finally reach him with a small smile on your face, Reaching your arms out you bring the snake into your hands with suprising ease. You look at it closely, Smiling.
"Hello there.. How'd you get all the way out here?"
Lucifer near melts in your hands once he hears your spoken voice, Just as angelic as your singing. He can barely do anything in your hold, A warm, Passionate feeling starting to burst inside of him
"..I- Erm-"
You squeak, Dropping the snake onto the ground like you had touched hot coals. You weave back in the water, Staring dead at the coiling snake. It had spoken, Human language.
You ask who he was, Shocked once Lucifer speaks up and stammers while telling you that he was an Angel. He apologises profusely, Saying sorry for intruding on your bath.
You calm down once you find out he's an Angel, One of the good guys, Right? You hadn't met many angels, And its not like you had any experience of deception anyways.
Besides, His mannerisms were rather charming despite how awkward they sounded. You giggled as you apologised for dropping him, Reaching down to pick him up once more.
Lucifer and you talked for the entire night, Too enraptured in conversation for either of you to sleep.
He talked about the stars, The seas and the sands. How he himself had saw their creation and marveled at their beauty. You listened intently, Soaking it all in while your eyes gleamed at him like the stars under the night sky. Lucifer took pride, His stammers getting less frequent as he went on.
He also spoke of his ideas, His plans for the future and his vision for humanity. And you actually listened, You agreed, You suggested and spoke of your own ideas and he agreed in full. Wide eyed, Almost as if you read his mind.
And in that moment, You were just.. Perfect.
He had to leave once your sister came looking for you, Not wanting to be seen by her. Unfortunately he hadn't told you his name, But he supposed it was better like that so it wouldn't be known that he, Lucifer had been meddling in human affairs once more.
But he came back, He had to, You gave him such a good feeling. It was like you knew him, Like you agreed with him and accepted him as he was.
He couldn't give that up, No, He needed to come back.
And he did, For the next few weeks he returned to you at night when you were alone. In the form of a snake, One easily able to hide his presence. He spoke to you, Always excitedly hurrying once he had a new idea or invention he wanted to show you.
And you listened, You always did. He listened too, Once you told him of your situation with Adam. You lamented how much you just wanted to explore, To not be tied down by the weight of a husband.
Lucifer sympathised with you once you told him you had no choice, That Adam needed to marry you or you'd be tossed away like leftovers.
Lucifer started to bring you artefacts, Things you asked for and ones you wanted to study. Lucifer always stammered once you kissed the top of his head, If he was in his humanoid form he would be red from head to toe, Something he was glad you could not see.
He took you around the garden, Showing you the highs and the lows of this place. He showed you the rivers and the fields, The mountains and the valleys. Everywhere you could possibly go, Including the border of the gardens.
You thought he was funny, His jokes always brought a hearty laugh out of you. Lucifer always made an effort to tell more in your presence.
Lucifer wishes he was in his humanoid form so he could play his violin for you. Your voice is so beautiful and you sing to him every night, He wishes he could do the same for you.
You affectionately refer to him as simply just "My Angel" since you have a personal belief that he was sent to guide you. Lucifer doesn't correct you despite your beliefs, It gets him more praise that he desperately craves anyways.
Whenever you were away however, He still kept a close eye on you. Especially when you were around that sleaze of a man, Adam. Lucifer didn't like Adam, Especially after he had met you.
He watched as Adam was free to put an arm around your shoulders, Eve having the other. The way Adam boasted about himself, How he kept loudly asking which one of you should be his wife.
You didn't like Adam, But you needed to be wed so you weren't thrown away. So you kept tossing your hair like Eve always did, Laughed at his stupid jokes and leaned just a bit closer into him.
And it made Lucifer furious.
It boiled up in him like a stewing pot. Couldn't he see that he was making you uncomfortable? Couldn't he see that he wasn't good enough for you? Lucifer doesn't blame you, But hell, Does he wish you looked his way.
He wanted to save you from this, Get you away from Adam so that he can have you all to himself you can be happy! That glint in your eyes is gone, He needs you to get it back.
But Lucifer can't do anything. With the close eyes of the angels above watching them, There's no way he could do anything too drastic. As much as he wants to help, As much as he wants to snap Adams neck with his own bare hands. There's not much he can do..
But Lucifer is sure that once Adam chooses Eve, He'll be there to pick you up and sweep you down into hell where he can finally show his true form to you entirely.
He's sure of it.
But one day he had gotten distracted, You were with Adam so he hadn't been present at the time. But when he went to look back, Watch over you like he usually does.. He stops.
Eve is sobbing on her knees, Full on wails as Adam tenderly holds your hands. Lucifer realises what had happened by the look of uncertainty on your face, The way you looked at Eve with sympathy and fear.
Adam had chosen you.
Lucifer is shocked, He's pulling out clumps pf hair and slinging curses. Its unlike him, He sounded like a wild animal. He was so sure that Adam, As shallow as he was, Would choose the blonde beauty of Eve.
But he had chosen you, Not being as shallow as he had thought. Adam tells all the angels that he has officially chosen you, That you would be his wife. His chosen to be wed.
Lucifer can barely hold back anymore as he starts breaking down in an anguished rage. How could this happen? Aren't you gonna object to this? What about him, Did your time with him mean nothing?
But you just nodded slowly, Agreeing to be his wife.
It takes Lilith to calm him down, Rushing to his side as he starts hyperventilating, Trying not to break anything more. She speaks to him, Tells him of another way he can get you back.
And its a good idea.
You're wandering in the garden once more, Searching for your sister after she ran off sobbing. She'd be tossed out of the garden, You don't want that, You love her so you need to find her to see if there's a solution for everybody.
But you find your way to a deeper part of the garden, Where you were forbidden to go. You didn't even realise until you reached a clearing, Finally spotting the massive tree in the middle, Higher than all the rest with beautifully ripe fruit hanging from them.
You realise your mistake, You go to turn around but before you do you hear the voice of your friend, The angel.
You spot Lucifer coming down from the branches, Beckoning you over with that same excited voice, The one that you trusted with your life. And despite all of your instincts yelling no, You go towards him.
He greets you as cheery as ever, Slithering down from the branches yet he still kept a good distance. You tell him that you didn't mean to wander this far into forbidden land, Thinking that he was The Angel sent to bring you back.
Lucifer just shrugs it off though, Telling you that it's no big deal. You raise a brow before he beckons you forward, Congratulating you on your marriage to Adam that went by quicker than it should have.
You thank him nervously but tell him you have to go, But before you can leave he calls you back, Informing you that he came here to give you an engagement present. Something of his own making, Something he had worked really hard on..
You still trust him but the twisting feeling in your stomach gets worse once he presents to you a ruby red apple from behind the tree. Your eyes light up at it however, It was the most gorgeous apple you had ever seen. No blemishes or freckle out of place.
It was mesmerizing like a hypnotists watch, Your eyes kept on the carmine shine. You didn't even notice the gleeful giggling coming from Lucifer, Like a little girl on her birthday about to open her first present.
You took the apple into your hands once offered and despite all your better judgement, You placed it upon your lips before taking a bite into its skin. You chew, It's sweet, So sweet. It was the most sugary taste your tongue had held, Yet the pungency of the sour aftertaste came like a storm surge.
You snap out of it, Watching as the ruby red apple in your hand starts to rot away in record time. Mould and maggots already starting to fester, You scream and drop it to the ground, But by the time it hits it had already withered to the core.
You feel weird, You feel horrid. Suddenly you become aware of your naked form, Instantly rushing to cover your parts you start to yell at Lucifer, Begging him to tell you what you had done, What that apple really was. What spell had he put you under to take a bite of that thing? How stupid you were-!
But you snap your head up and the snake was no more, Instead a man with ivory skin and rosy cheeks. Platinum blonde hair slicked back with the most giddy grin you had ever seen on anyone before. Your eyes widen, And suddenly the knowledge of who you've been talking to hits you like a freight train.
He tries to talk to you but he can't get a word in. You scream, You cry, You wail. Accusing him with his own name, Lucifer. You start to hyperventilate, Backing away with him with a horrid stomach ache while storms brew in the sky above.
Lucifer tells you that its okay! He's found a way for you to get out of your marriage, He just tells you to listen to him and that it will be okay!
But you don't, A sudden chill runs through Eden and you know in your core that its not just you who has felt the consequences of your actions. Storms brew, Critters around you start to get violent. You yell and scream once he comes close, Trying to bring you into embrace.
Lucifer is taken aback, This isn't how he imagined it. You were suppose to listen to him, Like you always did. But instead you just kept wailing and wailing calling him a monster, The devil that he was.
You're suppose to listen to him, Him. To his ideas, To his words, To anything that he says. So why aren't you lending him an ear now?! He just doesn't get it.
Wings sprout from his back, An arm lunges around your waist and constricts around you like the snake that he was. You can't struggle in his hold, His power too strong as he raises you both into the air with the flap of his wings.
The storms are high, Dark clouds above and winds so whipping it could cause lacerations. Lucifer tells you that you're coming down with him now, That you will be siphoned away to hell with him forever.
Lucifer thinks your just overreacting, And hey! He's been there too and its not like he's actually angry at you, No, Just at the people around you. He knows you'll understand why he's doing this, That's why he tells you what he had done to your sister.
You go deathly silent once he tells you he's got Eve as collateral, When he explains with that same awkward yet now manic demeanour that you were so use to before. He says that he won't hesitate to take her out if that's what it'll take for you to listen, All while smiling like this is an everyday affair.
You and your sister had always had a rocky relationship, Especially since you were put in competition with each other from day one. But you loved her and she loved you, You cared for each other when you could despite your frequent quarrels.
So you had no choice but to agree, A smile lights up on Lucifer's face as he places a chaste yet stomach churning kiss upon your lips. It's nasty, Disgusting. You're still sobbing profusely as your altitude drops, Your climate becoming much hotter and humid.
You feel your body contorting, Mutilating itself. Breaking down and building back up into a wretched caricature of your former self. Horns, Talons, Features of creatures you hadn't even seen before coming upon you.
You scream through the pain, But Lucifer keeps a hand firmly placed on the back of your head. Cold comfort in your new inferno as he tells you how excited he is to finally have you with him full time.
You barely listen, Your body was not yours anymore, It didn't look as such. So how could you listen to his giddy ramblings? The ones you so loved to listen to before..
You shut the eyes your new body had melded, Falling into the darkness of your mind.
Desperately hoping that this was all a dream while the devil caressed your cheek.
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whatsk-poppinhomies · 1 month
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Pairing : Boyfriend!Kim Seungmin x F!Reader TW : established relationship ; reader and Seungmin have only been dating for like 3 months ; Seungmin is a sweetie ; slight angst but mainly fluff ; Word Count : 1.7k Request : L ☆ : I was wondering if you could pleaseee do something fluff and sweet (just like him) with seungmin idk if you want to throw some angst in there, is up to you. thank u very much. A/N : slowly but surely making my way through requests! I got an offer for a job interview (at the time that I was writing this, I'm sure that I'll post about it before this comes out though) I'm so excited though!!
“I want to take you on a date…” Seungmin muttered through the phone, his voice quiet as if he were trying to hide it from the other guys that he was the sweetest, cutest, softest boyfriend in the whole world. “I’ll pick you up tonight. Make sure you bring a jacket, it’s cold.” He finished the call rather swiftly, and you were used to calls going like this, it made it easier for you, especially since you couldn’t get enough of his voice and your mind would always go fuzzy whenever you listened to him. 
As soon as you were sure that the call had ended and the line was disconnected, you allowed yourself a moment to let out a squeal of excitement, clutching your phone to your chest and jumping around in the center of your apartment. Some people would say that you were overly excited considering he and you had been dating for 3 months already, but you on the other hand found no issue in feeling like every date was like the first date. It just meant that you liked him, and you hoped that he felt the same way. 
///
“Dinner was nice, thank you.” You whispered as you walked beside Seungmin. The sidewalks were busy, lined with other couples who had the same idea. You kept close to him though, your fingers practically brushing along one anothers, but they never latched together. 
“Mmhm…” He hummed back, glancing down at you and then straight forward once again. Sometimes it felt like he was getting tired or bored, but you’d calm that thought just as fast as it appeared, reminding yourself constantly that he chose you, and if he didn’t truly enjoy being with you he could leave whenever he wanted. “Are you cold?” He asked when he felt your body shiver, a particularly strong gust of wind making its way through the fabric of your coat. “We can get hot cocoa?” 
“Mm… I’d like that.” You smiled sweetly up at him, unaware that he had been looking down at you again until your eyes met, and you saw the blush on his cheeks darken, although you were sure he’d blame it on the chill.
Seungmin nodded, leading the way to the cafe, making sure to still stay close to you though as the streets seemed to become more and more crowded. “Do you want to sit inside?” He asked when you both finally got to the small building, which hadn’t been that far, but in the sea of people it seemed to take forever to get there. 
“Yes, please.” Your voice was so soft, he had to lean in closer just to hear you, the proximity had you both heating up and Seungmin quickly pulling away as he obviously tried to hide the smile that was pulling at the corners of his lips. “I can order the drinks while you find a table?” You offered, but he shook his head, sending you a knowing smile.
“I invited you on this date, I’m paying for the drinks. Go find the table.” He motioned towards the empty booth at the back of the cafe, and if there was one thing you knew, it was to not try to argue against him, you’d never win. It wasn’t from personal experience, but the other guys had filled your ears with many stories. So you made your way over, shimmying out of your coat and playing it beside you before sliding into the booth and watching Seungmin make his way up to the counter. 
As he made his way over to the table, you could see that his eyes weren’t on you, not that you minded, you didn’t want him staring at you, but it’s like his focus was on something else completely. When you followed the direction of his gaze, you saw that it was perfectly pointed at a girl at the table that was right beside yours. She was gorgeous, and while you weren’t usually the type to be self conscious, you couldn’t help but feel that way when you looked at her. She was there with her boyfriend, but Seungmin was definitely one of the most attractive guys you had found yourself lucky to date. That and he was an idol, you were sure that if given the opportunity, any woman would jump at the chance to be with him. 
“Be careful… It’s hot…” He said a little too quietly, it was more like a mumble, like his mind was stuck in some faraway land while his body was unfortunately at the table in this cafe with you. It felt like he was uninterested, he might as well just pull out his eyes and place them at the table with the other girl since he couldn’t seem to look away from her. 
“I can go…” You mumbled, your head lowering to try to hide the embarrassment that you knew was clearly written across your face. Truthfully, you didn’t want it to be a suggestion, you wanted to leave. There was no one in their right mind that would enjoy sitting across the table from their significant other who couldn’t keep their eyes off someone else. Maybe this was his way of telling you that he wanted to see other people, he was just doing it in the most literal way possible. 
“Huh?” He slowly turned to look at you, his head tilted to the side and his eyebrow’s furrowing. “Why?” The fact that he could still act so clueless, like he didn’t know the exact reason for you wanting to leave, was just a little bit agitating. “Do you want to go? I can walk you back to your place… I just thought that you’d want to spend a little longer together.” His eyes were now burning into the top of your head that had been lowered with embarrassment. 
“I… I don’t want to spend time with someone who just wants to look at other women.” Your voice was quiet, far too quiet, and you wondered if Seungmin had even heard you over the music that was playing over the speakers. “If that’s what you want to do, fine… But… Don’t invite me out on a date and do it.” You hated how weak you sounded when you called him out, it definitely didn’t sound as strong as you wanted it to. You probably sounded just as pathetic as you felt right now. 
There was a silence that filled the small bubble that seemed to surround the table that you both were sitting at. It was tension filled, and you felt queasy just from being in it a little bit too long. “What are you talking about?” He asked, trying to keep his voice as quiet as yours was, but his worrying had his voice cracking and rising in pitch, causing him to be louder than he wanted to be. “I’m… God, this is stupid…” He muttered, running his hand through his hair as he leaned back in his chair, his head tilted back far enough to stare up at the ceiling. 
“It is stupid…” You agreed, grabbing your coat and folding it over your elbow as you got up from the table, unbothered by the nighttime chill that you knew would be just outside the cafe doors. You were already heated enough, you felt like you were sweating. “Enjoy the rest of your night, Seungmin.” You gave him the parting words, trying to sound unfazed, but the lump in your throat was building and it felt like your air was being choked off. 
Seungmin wasn’t one to make a scene, and that’s the only reason he didn’t get up and grab your hand to pull you back. He wasn’t into PDA, he wasn’t one to really outwardly show his emotions in general, but watching you walk away had him panicking. “Dammit!” He hissed, grabbing both cups of hot cocoa and rushing out the door after you, trying his best not to spill them in the process. “Can you listen to me, please?” 
He had caught up with you, it didn’t even take him long, he was far better at navigating through large groups of people than you were. Sadly, he had caught you at a moment when it had been just long enough for you to have started crying. “I don’t want to hear about how pretty she was. I know how pretty she was. I know that I can’t be her, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you have to be seen with me and not someone as gorgeous and perfect as she was.” 
His eyes were blinking rapidly as he stared at you, his mouth agape, sharp breaths coming out in little tufts of smoke in the cold winter air. “Oh… No… No! That’s… You’re wrong.” He said, his head shaking as the words rushed out of his mouth. “I’m stupid… And I didn’t want to tell you because it’s embarrassing… I wanted you to think I was cool and… And I… I was looking because I wanted to know what to do.” Now it was your turn to be confused, your eyebrows lowering as you waited for him to explain further what the hell it was that he meant by that. “I’m not… good. I’m not good at dates, I’m not good at this…” He motioned between the two of you, sighing dejectedly, his entire body seeming to hunch forward with shame. “I just wanted to do it right… I thought if I watched them I could figure out how to make you smile and laugh and be happy the way she was with her boyfriend.” 
“Minnie…” You whispered out the little pet name that always flustered him when you used it, and this time was no different, his cheeks once again turning a light shade of pink when you said it. “You don’t have to study how other couples are on their dates. You don’t have to be like other guys… If I wanted you to be like them, I would just be with them. I like being with you though, because you do make me happy and you make me laugh and you make me smile. You’re perfect… That’s why I was so worried… I don’t want to lose you…” 
“And you won’t… You’re not.” He reassured you quickly, like his entire life depended on those words leaving his mouth and being heard by you. “I’m sorry I made you worry… I’m sorry I was so stupid… Can we continue our date now? I really wanted to spend more time with you… If you’d like. It’s up to you though.” 
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tip-top-cloud-surfer · 3 months
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The Danger Zone (Part 17) - Hangman
Pairing: Hangman / Fem!Bradshaw!Reader | OC
Word Count: 5.0k
This work, all my works, and my entire blog are 18+ ONLY.
Warnings: Unplanned Pregnancy; Military Inaccuracies; Medical Inaccuracies; Crying; Fluff; Talk of Marriage; Angst; Use of "You," No Use of Y/N, No Set Physical Description
Summary: Jake gets his orders.
Series Master List
Master List
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It was deathly quiet in Cyclone’s office and the only sound that Jake registered was his heart beating out of his chest. Slowly closing the folder, Jake turned back to Cyclone, who remained sitting with an impassive expression behind his desk. 
“I’m sorry, Hangman,” Cyclone replied quietly, his tone genuine. “There was nothing that I could do.”
Cyclone had been in Hangman’s position before. Twice, actually. And he didn’t relish in handing any man or woman orders that would take them away from their family. Especially during such an important time. But that came with the industry that they signed up for.
“I was expecting it, sir.”
And that roughly translated to: of course, they wouldn’t let me finally be happy
“Still, I am sorry. I’ve been in your position before and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone else.”
“Do you know how long I’ll be away?” Jake asked quietly, holding onto a tiny thread of hope. 
“Anywhere from two to eight months. Most likely, somewhere in the middle.” 
You were about six and a half months pregnant now. If he made it back in two months, he could be there for the birth of your child. But Jake knew from experience that he probably wouldn’t be home by then. And what if the baby came early? He’d be cutting it extremely close if he was lucky. 
Worst-case scenario, he would return home to you when the baby was almost six months old. Six months. He would miss your baby growing and learning all about the world around them. He’d come home and the baby would already almost be halfway to a full year old. He’d miss so many milestones, so many little triumphs. 
“Am I excused, sir?”
“Yes, of course. Take the days before you deploy and spend them with your family.”
“Thank you, sir.”
Slowly walking out to his truck with the most defeated feeling of his life, Jake slipped into the driver’s seat of his truck. He just sat there for a minute, processing the news, and trying to get his emotions under control. 
But once the tears started falling, there was nothing that he could do to stop them. 
Resting his head on his fist, Hangman let a batch of tears of complete and utter frustration slip down his cheeks. He slammed his fist onto the steering wheel of his truck before the fight left his body and he slumped against the steering wheel, letting more tears slip down his cheeks. 
How the hell was he going to break the news to you?
~~~~~
The lights were on in your apartment when Jake pulled into the parking lot. He took the key out of the ignition and slowly slid out of his truck. Staring up at the window that showed into your living room, he took a moment to gather himself before heading inside. 
From the outside, you could be seen smiling to yourself, making dinner for the two of you. Your growing and prominent bump was covered by one of Jake’s tee shirts and you wore his ring on your finger proudly. The joy on your features only multiplied when you heard the door unlock and Jake step inside. 
As you hurried to wipe your hands on a towel, Jake set his bag down, and tried to push his emotions aside when he heard your footsteps. And when you came hurrying around the corner, his smile was pained as you ran up to him.
“We got the house!” you yelled, causing Jake’s mind to shift for a moment. “They took our second offer!”
“Really?” Jake breathed out as you nodded, practically bursting with excitement. 
“We bought a house!”
Jake held out his arms and quickly pulled you close to his chest, his mind still on the news that he had to break to you.
The kiss that you initiated was light-hearted and celebratory, full of playful little pecks. But the kiss that Jake returned was one of deep-seated emotion, like he was afraid that you were going to disappear right in front of him. He held you firmly, his arms enveloping your figure and cradling your bump with every touch of protective energy that he possessed in his body. 
You pulled back, your brows furrowed, as you cupped his cheeks with your hands. Staring into his eyes, you rubbed your thumbs along his cheeks. 
“Jake, what’s wrong?”
From the outside, Jake could be seen leading you over to the couch and sitting you down. He forced himself to gather his courage as you looked at him with concern. Letting out a breath, he turned back to you and finally broke the news. 
As he slowly explained the situation, your expression started to change. There was a flash of fear that built and built until a defeated, frustrated look drew your gaze down to your lap. Jake leaned over, whispering soft words until you picked your head up. Forcing a smile to assure Jake that you were alright, you couldn’t help the tears that started slipping down your cheeks. 
Jake wiped them away with his thumb, starting to cry again himself. The two of you shared another kiss before Jake pulled you into his lap. Curling against his chest, you dug your fingers into his shirt, trying to hold in the sobs that were crawling out of your throat. Jake rested his head on top of your own, whispering all kinds of words of reassurance that neither of you truly believed in. 
He had been in this industry since he was eighteen. You grew up around the Navy. 
And you knew what this would mean for your family. 
The two of you sat there, locking in embrace, as the sun started to slip below the horizon. Jake rested his arm around your bump, hoping that your baby would still be there when he returned. He’d never forgive himself if he missed the birth of your child. Especially if anything went wrong. 
He would never forgive himself. 
The sun had completely set when you finally uncurled yourself from Jake’s chest. Sitting up, you brushed your hand through his hair a few times, causing him to close his eyes for a moment. Jake slowly opened his green eyes, the eyes that you quite honestly pictured your baby inheriting, when you removed your hand from his head.
“We have a few days,” you whispered, your voice cracking with emotion as you tried to find the good in the situation. There wasn’t much to be found, and you were really trying your best to not start crying all over again. “What did you want to do with them?” 
“Spend every minute with the two of you.”
“Anything more specific?” you teased him, trying to smile though Jake couldn’t seem to return it. “You want to take a trip or go shopping for some more baby stuff or . . .?”
You trailed off, trying to think of something else when Jake gently grabbed your hand. You looked down as he slowly turned your wrist over and ran his thumb over your engagement ring. Sharing a look with Jake, you felt another batch of tears start to form. 
“I know you mentioned wanting to wait until after the baby was born because it would just be too chaotic to think about now . . . but—”
“—Yes,” you agreed quickly. “I’ll marry you, Jake.” 
He offered you a genuinely touched smile, a different batch of tears coming to his eyes. You wiped them away while you shed some of your own before pulling him in for a soft, loving kiss. And Jake could only pull you closer, savoring one of his last opportunities to do so. Breaking away a few moments later, you flashed him a painful smile.
“I guess I should find a dress.” 
~~~~~
Sitting with your head in your hands at Bradley and Emma’s kitchen table, you tried to not let your stress show. Everyone was giving you looks like they were waiting for you to finally break and you just frankly did not have the time. 
You were marrying Jake that afternoon and you didn’t have a wedding dress to get married in. 
The day before the two of you had run around like crazy people, making sure that all of the necessary documents were being prepared for the closing of your house. Then you spent time at his lawyer’s office, signing off on wills and other documents to protect yourselves and the baby while Jake was away. And you did a fair amount of crying along the way and so here you were, still without a dress. 
“I just don’t know where I’m going to find a white dress that fits me in time,” you told Penny, picking your head up from your hands. 
“We’ll figure something out,” she assured you, squeezing your shoulder. “Maybe we can find a dress down at one of the department stores in town.” 
“And what if we don’t find something?”
“We’ll find something,” Emma said from your other side. “You’ll have a white dress for this wedding.”
“What about this one?” Bradley called, causing the three of you to turn to him. 
Your brother held up the vacuum sealed bag that contained your mother’s wedding dress from her own wedding in 1983. It used to sit in your apartment closet, up until you moved in with Jake and were pretty much forced to hand it over to Bradley since you didn’t have any space in the apartment. 
After your mom’s death, you knew that you would incorporate her dress into your own in some way. Perhaps with a bit of fabric. Or you would borrow the veil. Something small that would have her with you on your special day, but also not holding you back with eighties fashion. 
You never really pictured actually getting married in your mom’s wedding dress.
For one thing, there was the little detail that your mom was over five months pregnant when she married your dad. 
Apparently, shotgun weddings and unplanned pregnancies ran in the family. 
Walking over to your brother, you inspected your mother’s wedding dress a little closer. It was fitted at the bust, but even with the slight cinch at the hips, the fabric was loose. It had to be. Bradley’s fat ass had to be accommodated. The skirt was a bit full, but nothing crazy. The bodice was covered in delicate lace and it had the distinct puffy sleeves from the eighties. 
“Mom’s dress,” you said quietly, turning to your brother. “You think I should wear Mom’s dress?” 
“It’s the only suggestion I have,” Bradley replied softly. And when he saw a flash of doubt in your eyes, he asked, “What’s wrong?” 
“I just don’t want to ruin it,” you replied, running your fingers along it. 
“You’re not going to ruin it,” Bradley assured you, causing you to turn back to him. “She always said that she would have married Dad in a potato sack. She didn’t care about the dress. She just wanted to get married, that was all.” 
“She never cared about any of that,” you agreed, sniffling a bit. Wiping your tears away, you croaked out, “I just wish she was here.” 
Bradley pulled you in for a tight brotherly hug that you quickly returned. Emma carefully took the dress from Bradley’s hand, letting him properly hug you. You held onto your brother and sobbed, your promise to yourself about not breaking down falling to little pieces at your feet. 
It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair how Jake got called up for deployment when you were nearing your third trimester. It wasn’t fair how the two of you had to cobble together some random ceremony at the last minute. It wasn’t fair how you couldn’t have your parents at your wedding. It wasn’t fair how you could have your baby without Jake by your side for months.
And it all just came rushing out as your big brother protectively hugged you in the middle of his kitchen. 
“It’s going to be alright,” he told you, sharing a worried look with Emma. “You’ll see.” 
“I’ve lost enough. I just wanted to win this one time, Brad,” you sobbed, causing your brother to start to tear up too. “I just wanted him here for a few more months. That’s all I needed.” 
“I know, I know,” he told you, rubbing your back. “It’s going to be alright.” 
The two of you stood there for a few moments, maybe even minutes as you cried and Bradley tried his best to comfort you.
“And Mom and Dad aren’t here to walk me down the aisle,” you continued on, sniffling repeatedly. 
“I cried about that too, on my wedding day,” Bradley told you quietly, voice thick with emotion. “But they’re both here. And they both wouldn’t want you to cry like this on your wedding day.”
“I know,” you whispered, wiping your tears away. 
Giving your brother another hug, you stepped back and turned to see Penny, Emma, and Sarah, who had come in while you were crying to Bradley, standing there, waiting for you. 
“So, do you want to wear your mom’s dress?” Emma asked softly, holding it up for you. 
“Yeah,” you agreed with a small smile, wiping some more tears away. “I’ll wear my mom’s wedding dress.”
Penny walked over and gave you a tight hug before leading you over to the guest bedroom with Sarah and Emma trailing after the two of you. 
“We’ll get you fitted into the dress and while Sarah’s sewing it up, you hop in the shower and get all of the tears and snot off of your face and then we’ll really start getting you ready, alright?”
~~~~~
“. . . and that was how I met your mom,” Jake recorded his own voice, sitting in your shared apartment. 
With you at Bradley and Emma’s house to get ready, Jake was taking the opportunity to put together a little gift for you. He ordered a set of headphones for your bump and now he was recording little messages to your baby. 
Saving that message, Jake was about to start another one when there was a knock on the door. He got up from his seat and walked over, letting Javy in. Just like him, Javy was dressed in his dress whites and he offered Jake a smile of condolence as he walked into the apartment. 
“How’re you doing?”
“I’ve been recording messages. For the baby,” Jake replied softly, shutting the door. “For her to play when I’m deployed.” 
“How many do you have now?” 
“Six,” Jake stated, showing Javy his phone. “I’m hoping to record a few more before I leave.” 
“I’m sorry, Jake,” Javy stated quietly, trying to not let defeat enter his tone. Jake’s expression already had too much of it for Javy’s taste. “You should get to be there. And there’s still a chance, but this isn’t fair and you have the right to be pissed about it.” 
“I’m not even angry anymore. I’m just . . . depressed,” Jake returned quietly. “And I’m worried about her. I’m terrified that this is going to push her into early labor or hurt the baby or something like that.” 
“We’ve already passed around a sign up sheet,” Javy told Jake, who looked at his best friend with a measure of confusion. “Every day, at least one of us is going to stop by and spend time with her. Check on her. Help her with anything that she needs help with. Make sure that she and the baby are alright. She’s not going to be left here alone.” 
Jake nodded slowly, tears threatening to fall. He bit his lip, trying to hold it in, but when Javy pulled him into a tight hug, Jake let a few fall. 
“I’m so sorry, Jake,” Javy repeated sorrowfully. 
Straightening up after a few solemn moments, the two aviators collected themselves before Javy put on a brave face for his best friend. Looking around the apartment, Javy turned back to Jake. 
“So, you got the rings?”
“Yeah, we bought them yesterday,” Jake replied, walking over to your bedroom. 
He pulled out a fabric bag and handed it over to Javy, who opened it and dropped the rings into his hand. To match your engagement ring, the two of you bought silver wedding bands. They were simple, traditional wedding bands, but when Jake got back, the two of you were already discussing getting something engraved on the inside of them. 
But right now, the most important fact was that the two of you got married today. All the other details could come later. 
“Anything else that you’re supposed to bring?” Javy asked, handing the bag back to Jake. “You got all of the paperwork?” 
“Right here,” Jake replied, picking up a folder from the kitchen counter. “I’m just waiting for the text to start heading down there.” 
“Go record your messages to your kid then. I’m going to call Nat,” Javy told Jake before heading out of the apartment. 
Pulling out his phone, Javy pressed Phoenix’s contact and held the phone to his ear as he walked over to the stairwell. After a few rings, Phoenix picked up the call. 
“Hey, you at Jake’s?” she answered quietly. 
“Yeah, I am.” 
“How is he?” 
“He’s fucking broken, Nat,” Javy sighed, rubbing his face. “I’ve never seen him look this defeated before.” After a pause, Javy asked, “How’s she doing? Did you make it to Rooster and Emma’s place?”
“They’re doing some quick alterations to her dress. And Emma is doing her hair and makeup right now. So, we’ll probably be heading out within an hour.” Phoenix took a moment before adding, “She’s trying to pretend like she’s okay but Rooster said that she had a bit of a breakdown earlier.” 
“But she’s okay now?”
“Physically, yeah, she’s fine. Emotionally, I’m worried. But Penny’s keeping a close eye on her.” 
“I just feel so bad for them.” 
“I know, me too,” Phoenix replied softly. “Where’s Jake now?” 
“Don’t tell her because I’m pretty sure that he wants to make it a surprise, but he’s recording messages to their baby for her to play while he’s gone.” 
“Jesus Christ,” Phoenix sighed, shaking her head. “I can’t believe that he has to leave tomorrow. They can’t even fully enjoy their wedding night.” 
“I know,” Javy sighed, glancing down the hall at your and Jake’s apartment. “I’m going to go check on him again. Text me when you guys are heading down to Town Hall.” 
“Yeah, I’ll let you know.” 
“I love you.” 
“I love you too.” 
~~~~~
You sat in Emma and Bradley’s bathroom as Emma applied some eyeshadow to your eyelids. She had already braided your hair into a simple updo with some help from Phoenix before working on your makeup.
“Alright, no more crying, okay?” Emma stated as she pulled out your eyeliner and mascara. “Once this is on your face, no more tears.” 
“I’ll try my best,” you returned quietly. 
Closing your eyes as Emma applied your eyeliner, you could hear the sound of footsteps down the hall. When Emma told you that you could open your eyes, you turned your head to see Maverick standing at the entrance to the bathroom. He was already in his dress whites and offered you a supportive smile.
“Hey, Mav,” you called to him before Emma turned your head to apply your mascara. 
“How’re you feeling?” 
“Like I’m tired of everyone asking me that question,” you replied, causing a small smile to crack at Maverick’s lips. 
“Did you find something to wear?” 
“I’m wearing Mom’s dress,” you replied, turning back to him after Emma removed the mascara brush. “Sarah and Penny are fixing it up quickly right now in the guest room.” 
“You’re wearing your mom’s dress?” 
“With a few alterations. I had the sleeves cut off,” you explained, causing Maverick to nod slowly. “But it actually fits pretty well. Turns out that my baby at almost seven months is about the same size as Bradley when he was five months.”  
“He was a big baby,” Maverick replied, missing Emma’s wince. 
“You think that she ever pictured me walking down the aisle in it?” you asked Maverick as Emma finished up with your eye makeup. 
“She was probably hoping that you’d get married first and pregnant second.” 
“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” you returned with a shrug of your shoulders, causing you and Maverick to share a quiet laugh. 
“Well, Phoenix bought you a bouquet. And are you wearing a veil?”
“No, it was just another thing to worry about.” 
“Then that should be everything. Do you need anything else before I start rounding everyone up?” Maverick inquired, straightening up. 
“Yeah, actually.” 
“What is it?” 
“Can you help walk me down the aisle?” you asked him, causing Maverick to freeze. 
“Of course, I will,” Maverick promised you.
Emma stepped aside and you slowly stood up to accept Maverick’s tight hug. You returned it, trying not to cry, but Maverick let a few tears slip from his eyes for the both of you. He slowly pulled away, holding you at arm’s length. 
It was hard to believe that the little girl who he remembered learning how to walk, who asked him to help put her tiara on properly, was now pregnant and getting married. Goose’s little girl was all grown up. Carole’s little girl was all grown up. 
And Maverick knew that he was going to cry about it. 
“You’re going to make such a beautiful bride.” 
“Thanks, Mav,” you returned, pulling him in for another tight hug. 
“Alright,” Maverick sniffled, slowly releasing you. He quickly dried some tears before stepping out of the bathroom. “I’m going to go and make sure that everyone’s where they’re supposed to be and leave you to finish getting ready.” 
“Bye, Mav.” 
You waited for him to go before turning back to Emma, who put the final touches on your makeup. Dabbing your lip color a bit more, she smiled and stepped back. 
“There, you’re all set. Let’s get you dressed.” 
~~~~~
Bradley drove you down to Town Hall in the Bronco because it just felt like the proper send off. Accepting his hand, the two of you started walking up to the building. Turning to your brother with a nervous smile as you linked your arms together, you poked him in the side. 
“Can I ask you something, Brad?” 
“Of course, I’ll act as your getaway driver,” he joked, helping you up the stairs. 
“Actually, will you help walk me down the aisle?” you asked him, causing him to pause for a moment. “I asked Maverick to walk me too, but I have two arms.” 
“You’re sure that you want me to walk you down?” Bradley questioned, turning back to the stairs. “I mean, I know I wasn’t the most supportive of you and Jake in the past. And I just offered to be your getaway driver.” 
“I know, but I want you to walk me down. You’re my big brother, Brad.” 
“Are you trying to get me to cry?” Rooster jokingly asked, refusing to look over at you, because he knew that he would actually start crying if he did. “But, of course, I’ll help walk you down the aisle. I promised you when we were kids, didn’t I?” 
“You did.” 
Maverick met the two of you up at the top of the stairs. You looped your other arm through his own and shared smiles with your family before the three of you walked inside Town Hall. They led you through the building and to the ceremony room. Standing in front of the big doors, you took a moment to gather yourself.
“You ready?” Maverick asked you softly, causing you to smile and nod.
“I’m ready.” 
The doors opened and you turned forward to see Jake waiting there for you, dressed in his immaculate dress whites, looking like a dream. There was a small crowd of friends and family, but the two of you were only focused on each other. 
You offered Jake a small smile, letting a few tears drip down that you’d held in for the sake of your makeup. Jake rubbed his chin, trying desperately not to cry himself, but there you were, dressed in a white dress, looking like a goddess with your prominent baby bump where your shared child was growing. 
And he started silently sobbing himself. 
Reaching the end of the aisle, you accepted kisses on your cheeks from both Bradley and Mav before Jake gently took your hand into his own. The two of you stepped up onto the very small stage and faced each other as the officiant began the short service.
You reached up and wiped Jake’s tears away with your hands and as you tried not to cry too many of your own. The two of you repeated your vows clearly and without hesitation as you slipped your wedding bands onto each other’s fingers. Holding hands in front of your closest friends and family, you smiled widely as the officiant got to the end. 
“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may—”
Jake’s lips pressed against your own before the officiant even finished his sentence. You smiled into the kiss and wrapped your arms around his shoulders as your friends and family cheered for the two of you. 
“I love you,” you told Jake as he broke away and rested his forehead against your own. 
“I love you too,” he returned softly, stealing another kiss. “My wife.”
~~~~~
“I have a wedding present for you,” you told Jake that night as the two of you laid in bed. 
You rolled to the end of your bed and slowly got up, walking over to your dresser. Jake sat up from his own spot, watching you curiously. 
“You had time to get me something?”
“I picked it up yesterday.” 
Pulling out a simple plain white envelope, you walked over to Jake’s side and sat down beside him. Jake took the envelope from your hand and paused when he saw the logo from your obstetrician’s office. 
“What is this?” he asked you quietly, an edge of concern in his voice. 
“I wanted to wait to find out the baby’s gender until they were born,” you started off with, causing Jake to nod slowly. “But I also want us to be the first two people to find out. And just in case—” 
Your voice broke and you cut yourself off as emotion clogged your throat. Jake quickly swooped in and pulled you in for a hug and a soft kiss. You rested your head against his shoulder, staring down at the envelope as you gathered yourself. 
“It’s your choice, Jake. We can find out now or we can find out when the baby’s born.”
Jake looked down at the simple little white envelope in his hands. You didn’t move to rush him, but you sat up more when Jake pulled the paper out of the envelope. Turning to you, he held out the piece of paper and motioned for you to take the other side. 
“On three,” he stated, causing you to nod. 
The two of you counted down together before you opened it together. Staring at the simple message written there, you let out an incredulous laugh and Jake pressed a series of kisses to your cheek and neck as he pulled you into his lap.
“I knew it,” he breathed out, resting his hand on top of your bump.  
“You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?” you asked him, causing him to shake his head. You let out a bright laugh, some joy returning to you. “We’re having a girl, Jake.” 
“I’ve been telling you,” he insisted, causing you to jokingly nudge him. The two of you shared a soft series of kisses before Jake pulled back. “We’re having a little girl.” 
“She’s going to be a handful.” 
“That was going to be true regardless,” Jake reminded you, causing you to laugh again and sink into his arms once more. “I love you so much.” 
“I love you too.” 
“And I love our daughter so much.” 
“She knows that, Jake,” you replied softly, pressing a kiss to his chest. “She knows.” 
~~~~~
Jake barely slept that night. 
The two of you discussed it the night before and agreed that it would be less stressful on you and the baby for him to leave on his own in the early morning. You said your goodbyes the night before and Jake managed to coax you to sleep after another round of tears and kisses.
Getting up before his alarm, Jake took a quick shower and got dressed in his uniform. His bag was already packed and all he had to do was say goodbye to you and your daughter. 
But that was going to be a difficult process. 
Kneeling on the floor in front of you, Jake rested his hand on your bump and pressed a kiss to your skin before moving his hand around some more. He let a few tears drop as he tried to feel your daughter moving around to no avail. 
“I’ll be back, Baby Girl, alright? I just have to go take care of some things, that’s all.” Jake took a moment and a deep breath before adding, “You’re going to be a good girl for your mom, right? Let her sleep at night and don’t dance on her bladder, okay?” 
Removing his hands from your bump and moving to stand, Jake looked up at your peaceful expression one last time before turning back to your bump. 
“I love you so much, sweetheart. And I’ll be back. Don’t you ever think that I’m abandoning you, okay? I’ll be back.” 
Jake stood up and leaned over to press a soft kiss to your face. Not wanting to risk waking you up, he withdrew and let out a quiet sigh.
“I love you, Honey. I’ll be home as soon as I can.”
A few moments after Jake reluctantly left for base, you snuggled into your pillow, still deeply asleep. As you continued to snooze, there was a small press on your skin, like a little fist was waving goodbye, before it slowly sank back down. 
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nayatarot777 · 3 months
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how does your family view you? • pick-a-card
*please remember that this is your family’s perception of you. it might not be how you perceive yourself.
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• pile one •
overall, i see a very positive and empowering perception that your family has of you.
first of all, they know that you’re intuitive af. clairvoyant specifically. you can see through situations and people clearly. aspects of things that they themselves perhaps miss. they feel like you can’t be lied to or tricked, so for a lot of you, your family doesn’t worry about you being naive within your friendships, relationships, and life in general. you’re not easily fooled.
there’s something about your anger too. they might see you rebuild yourself after experiencing destruction in your life - especially if someone has betrayed you or fucked you over. it seems as though you use that anger to rebirth yourself into a more “upgraded” version of yourself. you learn lessons quickly and seem to not make the same mistakes again. and thanks to your increase in awareness after these tower moments, these newfound experiences are added to your internal library of knowledge for your intuition to pick up on if similar people or situations are presented to you yet again.
you know your own power, so your family sees you as the person who dares to possess dreams and aspirations for yourself that not many others in your family would have the courage to put trust into achieving. and they know that your rebirths are motivated by what you see for yourself and your life in the future. they feel like you have a very good self esteem - or at least a high level of trust in yourself and your abilities. they feel as though you have a figurative crown on your head. if your parents are very successful people (whether that’s due to their career, building their lives from little to nothing - especially if they’re immigrants and worked hard to build the life that they have) then they believe that you’re someone who will continue on their legacy of success in your own way. i’m hearing that they don’t worry about where you’re gonna end up in life because the trust in yourself puts trust in them that you’ll build a legacy of your own.
they also see you as very head-strong. someone who controls and leads your life in whatever way you want to. you don’t seem to take no for an answer, nor pause your journey in the face of obstacles. there’s a lot of drive that you have when it comes to determining what your world looks like according to your vision. there’s something untameable about you. almost like you don’t listen to anyone. you trust that you know what’s best for you so you’re the ruler of your own kingdom with your clear vision.
despite all of your seemingly extravagant or unconventional dreams, your family believes that you’re extremely grounded in reality. you have a great balance of living within your internal world as well as the physical world. in stressful moments of life, you can balance out your emotions and view things practically. you have a good head on your shoulders and you listen to what comes from your heart space. what you actually feel in all of its authenticity and honesty.
your family also believes that you’re extremely body confident. whether this is because you take care of your body through exercise and eating well, or because you dress however the fuck you want to. the way that you dress could be a style that shows off your body for a lot of you. your family sees your self love and your self worth through this.
significant numbers: 12, 13, 28, 24, 15, 21
astrological placements/aspects: pisces/neptune, scorpio/pluto, aries/mars, taurus/venus
for more readings, check out my patreon!
• pile two •
your family views you as someone who has already undergone or who is undergoing some type of powerful personal growth within yourself. this could be related to listening to yourself and your own intuition. your family may feel like you feel as though you can’t trust them, despite trying to for so long. but for some of you, they can tell that you’ve finally decided to listen to yourself and see them for who they truly are. they can see sadness in your eyes or in your face whenever they look at you. there’s a feeling of betrayal here - from them towards you - that they recognise.
they view you as someone who feels detached from them. they could try to show you love but they can tell that you feel uncomfortable whenever they do. they’d describe the familial “love” between you and them as strange or unfamiliar to you. this “love” could’ve come after they realised that you were growing more distant from them as a last attempt at keeping you close to them. but again, they know that you know the truth about them and so the feeling of awkwardness during these attempts at trying to show affection towards you is mutually felt. they feel like you don’t want their love. like you’d rather just be left alone by them. these family members may be very energetically draining and this is how you protect your energy from them. and there’s also a feeling of this love being forced. not genuine. it’s fake or forced out of them for a lot of you and you can see that.
they might also be aware of some body image issues that you have. or this might just be their perception of you - especially if you have any body modifications like tattoos and piercings that they don’t approve of. they view this as “mutilation” of your body. i’m also seeing them view you as someone who’s very protective over your body with the clothing that you wear. based on the way that you completely cover up or your oversized clothing. so if you do have any body image issues, they might’ve picked up on them based on that observation. at least you dress like this around them. you might be uncomfortable wearing certain things around your family because they always have some comments to make about your body. but i am sensing some shame about your body for some of you. i’m seeing that for a lot of you, your family feels like you don’t treat your body like a temple. if these are the same people who’d make negative, nitpicking comments about your body then idk wtf they expect. that might’ve been their goal tbh (for those of you with malignant ass, jealous ass family members who want you to feel like shit about the way that you look).
for others of you, it’s the opposite and your family feels like you dress “too revealingly” in public or maybe online in your social media posts. for a minority of you, your family knows about your online sex work (or this is an assumption that they’ve made about you). but for some of you, there’s something about your family feeling like you’re too naked in the public eye. this could also be metaphorical, meaning that your family may feel like you’re well-known by people but i don’t get a good energy from this (from their perspective anyway). they may feel like you’re known for something that’s not a positive thing to be known for. or like you’re just vulnerable in the public eye.
they view you as someone who takes the time to take steps forward in your life. and they may feel like you’re waiting on divine timing to make moves in your life. but some of your family members view this as you just being lost and “behind” in life in some way. like your head is just up in the clouds and like you don’t really know where you’re headed in life. they don’t understand moving forward when you feel like you should be moving.
they know that you have a lot of childhood trauma to unpack. and they feel like your heart is blocked or locked because of it. for some of you, your family would like to figure out how to unlock it but i feel like they feel as though there’s not much that they can do. you may have been a very angry child, and i feel like you’re not necessarily an angry person now but your family can tell that you’re suppressing a lot. and that in order to unlock your heart (your feelings), you’re going to have to let out a lot of anger and resentment first.
significant numbers: 41, 27, 2, 18, 24, 35
astrological placements/aspects: chiron, venus in scorpio/8th house, venus conjunct chiron (particularly in the 4th house/conjunct the ic), taurus, lilith in taurus/2nd house, aquarius/uranus, lilith in 11th house/aquarius, pisces/neptune, mercury in pisces, chiron in 4th house, chiron in 5th house, aries/mars in 5th house, sun in aries, pluto in 1st house, scorpio rising, chiron in aries, chiron aspect mars (mainly conjunct)
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• pile three •
your family view you as someone who prefers to be alone. even if you know that there are people around you who love and care for you, you still prefer to be by yourself. and some of them can tell that it’s because you only feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable with yourself.
they also might view you as quite messy too, whether this is your bedroom or your home in general. but there’s a lack of energy that they witness you having that’s the root cause of this.
despite all of this, they view you as someone who’s very accepting of your solitude that you use for the sake of finding peace. you could be very meditative or very peaceful by yourself within your own energy. and they feel as though, whenever they bother you in your alone time, you become very defensive and repel them. some of you may struggle with depression, but it’s not depression that you want help with. not from them at least.
this energy is vastly different to how they viewed you before. maybe compared to when you were a child. because there was some type of sudden shift in your energy towards them that resulted in you being very isolated and repellent towards them.
they either feel like they don’t know you after this shift or they feel like you don’t really know yourself. someone in your family in particular feels like you’re forgetting who you are who where you came from. maybe even who you came from. they feel like you wear a mask around them. as if there’s always a detachment between you and them. kind of similar to pile two.
i’m getting a lot of “black sheep” energy from you guys. like your family just doesn’t understand you but they know that you’re not really interested in being involved with family gatherings or interactions. if you believe that they do know that you know who you are very well, they view you as someone who hides who you truly are from them. and if you’ve always been singled out or you’ve just always felt different to everyone around you then it makes sense.
they view you as someone who’s at peace with yourself though. just not at peace when being around them. this could make them deeply sad and upset as there’s an energy of them not being able to quite pinpoint why this is the way it is. unlike in pile two. pile two’s family we’re outwardly toxic. but for you guys, i feel like your family just don’t understand you. maybe they never really tried to make an effort to. but whatever the culprit of the reasons behind your familial connections, there are a lot of unknown things that your family feels like they don’t know or understand about you.
significant numbers: 17, 9, 17, 6, 22, 10 - look up the angel number 1717 for an extra message
astrological placements/aspects: pisces, leo, pluto in 5th house, (heavy) scorpio, lilith in 4th house, pluto in 4th house, strong sun-pluto aspects, connection between cancer + scorpio/pluto placements
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drdemonprince · 8 months
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Kallitsounaki and Williams found that transgender participants did in fact report alexithymia symptoms at an elevated rate, compared to their cisgender peers. This effect also held strong when eliminating all Autistic participants from analyses, which indicates that even non-Autistic transgender people are worse at naming and recognizing their feelings than non-Autistic cisgender people are. The study’s authors concluded from these findings that non-Autistic transgender people appear to exhibit “subclinical” Autistic traits. “Future studies mighty usefully examine whether alexithymia is a potential “marker” of autistic traits in transgender people who do not meet full criteria for autism,” they write. To put it another way, they believe the alexithymia that non-Autistic trans people report is still caused by (mild) Autism. But this conclusion carries with it a faulty and as-yet untested assumption: that alexithymia must be caused by Autism directly, when in reality it could just be a natural consequence of living in a marginalized and othered body.  Just because a transgender person struggles to name and recognize their emotions doesn’t necessarily mean they’re Autistic. It could very well be the case that both Autistic people and transgender people struggle to understand our feelings, because we have experienced a lifetime of questioning and invalidation. And if we look to the broader research literature on alexithymia, we see even more evidence that this might be the case. … It’s not just Autistic people who have been found by researchers to experience alexithymia. Sufferers of trichotillomania, or compulsive hair-pulling, have repeatedly been found to be alexithymic too. Some research also links alexithymia with early exposures to trauma and abuse. People who do not know they are pregnant (also known in the literature as pregnancy-deniers) tend to be alexithymic, for instance. They also tend to be victims of childhood sexual assault. These two things are not unrelated. We know that when vulnerable people (particularly children) are sexually assaulted, their minds tend to dissociate from that upsetting reality. Their consciousness “floats away” to a point elsewhere in the room, or they pretend the abuse isn’t happening to them or that the world around them is not real. Additional research has also found that alexithymia is associated with early childhood abuse, especially emotional and physical neglect. It makes sense that a mind that’s well practiced in the art of detachment might stop checking on its internal states entirely. A body that has often been the site of your abuse is one you can’t dwell in comfortably. If you can’t count on your caregiver to provide you with regular nourishment, there’s little reason to make note of your own feelings of hunger. And if your cries for help or comfort are never heard with sympathy, you may quickly learn not to even recognize sadness within yourself at all. These findings also dovetail with an observation that Kallitsounaki and Williams make in their paper, but don’t take much time to dwell on: they found that the cisgender men in their sample were significantly more alexithymic than cisgender women. This finding also suggests that there are environmental and social factors that contribute to a person’s awareness of their own emotions — and populations that are discouraged from sharing how they feel are far worse at understanding their feelings as a result.
Women aren’t innately more attuned to emotions than men are. They’re simply expected to be more emotionally aware, and given more tools to make emotional recognition and expression possible. Men, on the flip side, are denied the freedom to be openly emotional, and also relieved of the responsibility to look after their own or others’ feelings. This results in them understanding emotions a whole lot less. If we can’t assume that the alexithymia of men is innate, then we shouldn’t assume it’s innate in Autistics or transgender people either. For just as men are discouraged from openly crying, asking for help, or showing other signs of supposed “weakness,” both transgender people and Autistics are actively discouraged from expressing discomfort or seeking emotional aid for ourselves.
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angelltheninth · 9 months
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The Beauty of Experience
Pairing: Denji x Fem!Reader
Tags: nsfw, smut, virginity loss (for Denji), nipple sucking, dick riding, virgin!Denji, experianced!Reader, sub!Denji, soft dom!Reader
Word count: 1.1k
A/N: First commission for @prettylilbug!
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The first time you saw a text from Denji saying ‘Wanna watch a movie tonight?’ you thought nothing of it. After an especially long day of work, you and Denji finally arrive home, feeling tired but looking forward to spending the evening together. By this point, you practically lived with him, going to his house after every workday. It was a good thing that he decided to get his own apartment after a few months of dating you, expecting to get lucky and not wanting it to be interrupted by Aki or Power.
He gently took your hand, intertwining your fingers with his. It's a small gesture, but it spoke volumes about his desire to be here with you. As you and Denji walked into his living room, he guided you towards the couch, encouraging you to sit down and relax while he picked the movie.
You wanted to take a seat next to him but instead found yourself pulled into his lap, his sharp toothy smile greeting your gasp, “More comfy this way.” He loved cuddling with you at every opportunity, and this position meant that he could kiss you easier, that you could straddle him half way into the movie after way too many of those kisses had distracted you from it.
Denji was touchy, always, but tonight he seemed to be particularly so, if a tiny bit more hesitant at the beginning when you’d glance back at him.
You got more comfortable, pressing against him, turning your body so you were chest to chest, your hand in his lap. You glance up at him as your fingers curled against his thigh. The heat and the muscle tensed, but other than that he didn’t bat an eye. He focused all his energy in trying to remain as calm as possible.
You started drawing a circle on his leg, moving it up slowly, your fingertips curling at the seam of his jeans and following it up his shirt. And up. And up. His breath hitched when you got too close for comfort and smirked, your thumb now brushing over his hardening cock.
Denji jumped and reached down, stopping your hand, looking down at you, “What are you doing?” he asked. His voice wasn’t one of annoyance or anger, but fear, and  of the lust he was trying to keep to himself.
 “What do you mean?” You pulled away from him, completely at a loss as to how he could have not known what you was doing. “I thought that was obvious.”
“Y-Yeah but... I’ve... you know I’ve never...” His deep blush covered him from the top of his head and vanished below his shirt. “I don’t wanna mess it up. Finish too fast or... hurt you.” Denji was as perverted as they come, but also as insecure as they come. Eager for sure when the action got going but this was a little different.
“I understand that you’re nervous but you don’t have to be.” You said against him as you leaned in and kissed his cheek, then trailed down his jawline, nipping gently by the time you hit the angle of his jaw. He let out a ragged breath as his hands went to your hips as you dragged your tongue down his neck, causing him to tilt his head back, swallowing thickly. “I don’t care which one of us has more experience, I want to share this one with you.”
You cupped him through his, fingers curling around him and rubbing up and down, causing him to groan and whimper. Denji shifted his hips upwards into your palm, trying to get some more friction, but you moved your hand in an instant and buried in his hair as you kissed him deeply. He groaned as he tilted his head to the side, his hand cupping your cheeks, his other arm on your waist as you unzipped him and fished out his hard cock.
He went the other direction, his free hand tugging your shirt down until your tits spilled from your bra. “Fuck. You have the prettiest tits in the world, you know that babe. Can’t even fit one in my hand.” He paused at kneading one and sucking at the other before he would switch and continue to lavish you with attention you deserved.
You reached down, took Denji’s cock in your hand and lined it up, pulling away the moment he thrust upwards. “Uh, uh.” You scolded and shook your head. “Don’t move….that’s an order.” You said as you lifted an eyebrow at him.
He furrowed his brows but smiled a little as he nodded to confirm what you told him. He sighed a little as he tried to make himself relax, but he was humming, every inch of him buzzing because of your pussy hovering over his cock. “I like the panties you chose for tonight.”
“I’m glad cause you get to keep them after this.” And use them. That went unspoken but Denji’s cock sure got the memo.
For now you didn’t have the patience to pull them off and neither did Denji. You shifted your weight on top of him, one of his hands still balancing you as you stroked a few times before you settled back onto him, taking all of him into your pussy.
“Ah. Are all of them... this tight and warm?” Denji could barely get the words out from how much he shook with pleasure, willing himself not to come. Fuck, this was good, so fucking good, so much better then his hand.
“All of them? You only have my pussy to worry about. Understood?” He nodded dumbly, a lazy smirk settling over his face as you established a pace, up and down his cock, dripping down his balls. “Hold my panties like this.” He did, the hand on your tit moving to do the task he was ordered, “Good boy, Denji, your cock fills me up so well. I’ll be sure to make up for all the times... ah... that you had to use your hand.”
That was the promise that made him blow his hot load all over your belly, seeing as he was not keen on becoming a dad on the same day he lost his virginity, “Fuck... made a real mess of you babe.” He wasn’t sorry at all, his cocky smirk pressed against your tits as he kissed them over and over in faux apology.
“I like when you make a mess.” You confessed hot against his ear, “And I like doing the same.” Questions began to take over Denji’s brain before you commanded, “Keep your thumb on my clit, okay handsome?” He nodded dumbly as you pinned his cock between his abs and you pussy, spreading your juices over it as you rolled your hips, chasing your own orgasm until your body snapped and feel forward onto him, “Good boy, Denji.”
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saturnrevolution · 9 months
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Jupiter through houses
Jupiter in the 1st house
You are a curious person, always looking for the next activity that will help expand your identity. The negative manifestation of your Jupiter sign is a tendency to focus a lot on other people’s perception of you and allow opinions to say who you are. When you are in your power, you don’t express yourself by societal definitions, but create new ways from within. You are also vouching for justice and you take life as an adventure. Most blessings come to you when you are willing to learn, when you are open to knowledge, you travel and explore through experimenting. You create your own luck by shining bright.
Jupiter in the 2nd house
When it comes to receiving from the Universe, you have this ability to allow abundance, especially material and financial, to come to you. You do this best when you are letting things unfold, when you are living in the present moment and have a positive outlook on life. It’s important to follow your values and philosophies. Financial gain can come to you fast, but you can also spend it just as fast. So, it’s important to be disciplined in your ways, while still allowing yourself the freedom to do whatever you want. Invest in things that help you grow and build your independence, as later on you might be a strong pillar for others.
Jupiter in the 3rd house
Your words matter, sharing your wisdom with the world is part of what brings you luck and abundance. There needs to be a fair balance between what it is you speak up on and how much you hold in. You can find wealth in your hometown or home country. Short distance travels help you refresh your mind and put you in a good mood. You could become a teacher or coach, however you need your words to be heard. You have the ability to manifest through your thinking, so know that negative thoughts will expand in more negative thoughts. Write them down and let them go, then focus on the things you are grateful for to succeed.
Jupiter in the 4th house
Your luck comes from your ancestors. Your lineage is protecting you and wants you to succeed. Whenever you spend time connecting to your roots, your culture or living place, you discover new sides of yourself. Speaking on your goals with family and loved ones helps you manifest them. You might sometimes get stuck in a victim-like mentality, so make sure you are surrounded by people that support you. Having a home that makes you feel inspired is crucial, decorate it in a way that helps you shine. Spending time in your own comfort is restoring, but taking risks is too. You might move abroad or live abroad one day.
Jupiter in the 5th house
Whenever you nurture your inner child, you are on the path to success. You are someone that enjoys the little things in life, that wants adventure and passion. You are creative and talented, and your expression speaks louder than words. However, sometimes you might take your talents for granted and not nourish them enough. While it’s amazing to have fun, discipline would be a game-changer for you. You sometimes find abundance through romance, but do not give your power away by not setting boundaries. Value yourself. Take yourself on dates, do those things you loved as a child, your passions and dreams will unfold.
Jupiter in the 6th house
There is nothing more healing for you than living with intention. Caring for your body and health, offering yourself what you need is putting you on the right path. However, overindulging or over-worrying or stress puts you off your path. This is why, the best approach is to create a routine that you truly resonate with. Find the things that work for you on a daily basis, listen to what your body needs, and find ways to make every activity feel like it was made for you. You like music? Listen to it while you cook, offer love to little things, and you will gain it back. Your ability to get disciplined will offer you success.
Jupiter in the 7th house
Why is it that others are able to see your warmth, but for you, it’s much harder? Whenever you connect to others, you spend time with people that make you smile and feel empowered, you thrive and attract abundance. Abundance can come in the form of people too, collaborations, projects that just take off. However, if you spend your energy on people that drain you or make you doubt, you will attract more lessons. Your knowledge is contagious, accept the side of you which thrives and allow positivity to come in. This way, you will live the life you have always imagined and attract love from in and out.
Jupiter in the 8th house
Some people are scared to dive deep. But not you. Your inner world is one of the most valuable tools you have. If you focus on your negative feelings towards a situation, those feelings will grow. However, if you focus on what makes you feel good, what offers your life meaning and purpose, you will attract blessings. You have the ability to shine alight on what seems dark, you have the ability to trigger people in realizing what they need. Whenever you research into the occult, taboo subjects, or you bring up difficult subjects, you are able to make others feel seen. Just open up more, people are waiting for your ideas.
Jupiter in the 9th house
You are a teacher and a student of life. You are someone who is able to create wonderful stories through living their life and then share their knowledge in concepts that inspire others. You are able to change paradigms if you allow yourself to truly believe in your philosophies. However, you need to also open yourself up to other people’s ideas as a way of relating to people. You attract blessings through studying, travel or reading. While your experiences are important, be careful not to get so lost in this search for meaning that you neglect those that want to be a part of your success. Stop and look back at times.
Jupiter in the 10th house
You career is where you are lucky and will receive blessings in this lifetime. You have the ability to reach your goals, as many opportunities are aligning for you. However, it’s yup to you to decide which ones are here to help you grow and which ones are selling a false promise. You could be a leader or thrive in a management position. The best way to reach your success is by not getting carried away with work so much that you forget to play. It’s in those moments of rest and contemplation when inspiration comes to you, and when you offer yourself the space to push forward. Dream big, rest bigger.
Jupiter in the 11th house
You are blessed in this lifetime with many life-changing connections. You have the ability to create friends wherever you go and to seek their support whenever you are in need. However, be careful with setting boundaries. When you feel you are tired or you simply want to be alone, allow yourself that space. Blessings come to you when you spend time in communities of people that share the same interests as you. You could easily become influential online by speaking on your beliefs. Allow growth to happen by trusting your authentic self and showing up as it in front of others. You could also become an activist.
Jupiter in the 12th house
Your inner wisdom is the most subtle thing about you, but also the most valuable. Whenever you take decisions based on your intuition is when you thrive. You have the ability to evolve spiritually, if you just allow yourself to face your shadows. Sometimes it might feel as though it’s harder to tap into your luck, but the truth is that the power lies in your hands. Daydreaming can be a great tool of manifesting, although sometimes you might forget to take care of your body. Find a balance between the ethereal and the physical world and you will thrive. Meditating and breathing techniques are your best friends.
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