#even if i do use that pair of whatever

[nyctocollective]

friendly reminder that plurality is caused by trauma. trauma is defined as an event that has a severe negative impact on oneself. there are going to be dark parts of plurality that no one wants to talk about. the brain created you to cope with what it went through. it's okay to have parts (or wholes) that have “twisted” desires, attractions, innerworld or external relationships, sexual or emotional needs, etc. other people might call you disgusting, evil, immoral, but it's just part of being traumatized. it's going to be unpleasant or unsightly.

read the tags.

#shout out to our multiple pairs of siblings who fuck because of the shit our mom and dad put us through with our sister #shout out to our child alters that would put themselves in dangerous situations with irl adults if we didn't healthily satisfy them #because of what our dad and various friends much older than us did to us #shout out to our various alters with non-con fantasies‚ whether its having it done or doing it‚ because we were accused of doing it to our #family and having it done to us before we were even double digits #you might think we're disgusting but this is how the brain copes #being groomed is not an experience you shake off easily #being manipulated and abused is not an experience you shake off easily #15 years of being groomed is going to make our brain do some “twisted” shit #am i scared of posting this because a friend of mine has this account? yeah. but whatever im sure itll be fine hahah. #system #did #did system #actually did #cdid #plural system #sysblr #osdd #did osdd #osdd system #endos dni #plurality is a trauma response xoxo

[sonknuxadow]

kissy for the birthday boy 💥💥💥

#AUGHH posting ship art is so embarrassing for me but i wanetd to do something for knuckles anniversary #and didnt have enouhg free time today to start and finish something #and ive had this sitting unfinished for a couple weeks. so i figured why not just finish it and use it even if its not much #so yeah . gay people be upon ye #ive had them on my brain sooo much lately can you tell. #sonic the hedgehog #sth #knuckles the echidna #sonknux #sonuckles #my art #am i just awlays gonna be that one guy releasing little droplets of sonknux into the endless sea of sona//dow #every time something shadow related happens . Well somebody has to do it . might as well be me . #< joking im nto trying to pit the pairings aginast eachother or whatever and the timing here was just a coincidence

[diabolicjoy]

mittens !!!! pattern X - i modified a bit because my yarn was a bit more thick, so i shortned a few rows of the colorwork & added the burnt orange details instead :)

#remember when i posted almost a month ago about a friend that commissioned some mittens #? #so yeah the one i was making initially turned out fine i suppose #i even posted the picture here #but the i noticed the sizing wasn’t right & the yarn i was using was sooo annoying to work it i just couldn’t get it right... it was also #like dyed like ombré? & the colors were a bit off. like each mitt had a different color like the weren’t even a pair... #but i was insisting too much like i undid & knitting that thing like +10 times #knitted* #so i decided so grab some yarn that i like for my mittens & that i’m already familiar with & found this pretty pattern & so!! ta-da!! #it’s so much nicer than the other one. also my friend wasn’t that specific & gave me a lot of liberty do to whatever #she gave me a general idea of the colors she liked so these are perfect #also the inspo pics she sent me all had this kinda fair isle design but at first i was a little intimidated so i barely did it on that one #first mitten that i had posted. so i’m glad i tried a diff pattern a managed to make these!!!! #anyway that’s basically what my month was all about lol worrying abt the mitts then finally finding a solution #also i got a commission from a instagram mutual to crochet a bag with that little sleepy snoopy design on it!! i’ve seen it on tumblr a few #times now & i’m excited to finish this project & finally get to it!! already bought the yarn & it’s so pretty #SO MANY TYPOS SORRY #girl knits world #knitting

[theflyingfeeling]

...💌

#not-very-seriously contemplating making a fitalk sideblog #just so i could ramble on about my fic ideas like the lunatic i am without bothering anyone #because istg i come up with at least 3 new ideas a day and more if necessary #but i'm too self-conscious to do that on my main blog too often because i always manage to convince myself no one actually cares #and that the only few people who do seem to care only care because they want to be supportive #and/or think it's cute i'm so passionate about the fics/pairing or whatever #and there's nothing wrong with that and i'm thankful of course! #but it sort of makes me feel like a child being praised by adults ya know? 😭 #and idk maybe i just feel like this because i used to share a hyperfixation OTP with a friend #and i'd come up with new fic ideas/headcanons for our OTP on a daily basis #until the friend admitted they weren't even that into the pairing #they just found it adorable to see how enthusiastic i was thinking of stories of them :) #which made me feel like such an idiot lol silly me thought they were as into it as i was #like. i get the need to infodump about hyperfixations to a friend even if the friend is not into the hyperfixation #especially if you don't know anyone else to whom you could talk about it #but i don't need that personally. i'd rather talk about my hyperfixations to someone who actually wants to hear it #and not just because they think i'm being adorable or they want to support me #i can very well keep it all to myself or just idk talk to myself?? lol #so yeahhhh i kinda don't want to make myself feel like a clown like that again 🤡 #i do realise i think about fic ideas an unhealthy amount probably lol #but then again isn't that what actual published authors do all the flipping time?! the only difference is that i'm not getting paid for it😤 #this wasn't supposed to become a rant lol the words just started flooding #anywayyyyy who wants to hear about my royalty!aleksi / ballet dancer!olli fic idea with side roommates-with-benefits olli/joonas? #additional tags include 'helping the other put on make-up' and 'anal fingering'. if you even care #(pls don't actually ask it's ridiculous)

[shcherbatskayas]

sorry i'm still a fucking wreck after reading all of the locked tomb series over the course of 8 days. how in the fuck am i meant to go to work tomorrow and function like a human being when i read the words "life is so short and love is so long" just before camilla hect literally set herself on fire. i think i should get a week off for bereavement.

#also the fact that she burst into flames and that palamedes died the same way in canaan house #is not lost on us great scholars of codependency #they are so codependent you can't even classify them as romantic or platonic whatever they have is more fucked up than that #however i do love it #especially since you think they're one of the more normal necro and cav pairings in gtn #and by ntn you Know that they're possibly the most deranged #the shit they got going on would make a tridentarii sister blush #nona the ninth spoilers

[kkujo]

something i don't see people talking about is the way hyperfixations come in like stages and cycles like it's not just "i'm obsessed with this thing" it's like. euphoria from finding something new and it brings you so much joy and then as that initial dopamine rush wears off you start to get more and more down and feel isolated as you start to realise that no one else cares about it as much as you do and you feel silly for being so into it and the thoughts become repetitive and boring so you get more and more depressed and lonely and then you inevitably lose the hyperfix which leaves you drifting feeling miserable and hopeless until you start the cycle again. idk if i explained this well or if other people will understand but it brings genuine phases of euphoria and straight up depression and this is why i get annoyed when neurotypicals use words like hyperfixation to describe like, an interest. bc it's not. just an interest it becomes who you are and when you lose it it's like losing yourself and you spend so much energy thinking about it that it interrupts your daily life and it's so fucking draining 👍

#like if i see one more nt being like hyperfixation this hyperfixation that SHUT UP!! YOU HAVE AN INTEREST #talk to me when you stay up until 6am every night bc you can't fucking sleep bc ur thinking about it. #talk to me when you can't process emotions in a normal healthy way because you can only relate it back to your hyperfix #paired w madd especially it's IMPOSSIBLE to be normal about shit i swear 2 god because the second i'm upset or lonely it's straight back to #immersing myself in another world and being someone else and not facing my emotions instead letting 'someone else' deal with them #not just negative emotions yk it's anything it's fully immersive to the point i end up not knowing exactly who i am myself bc i'm rarely #myself in my head yk #and it's so isolating #and this is why i get mad when people use these terms lightly bc they don't fucking get it #oh you're hyperfixated? oh you're delusional? you're delulu? watch this #< guy who has delusions that all of his friends secretly hate him bc he's too insane abt xyz media and who feels alone bc no one else is as #into it even though it wouldn't be reasonable to expect them to be #like i'm constantly questioning whether all my friends are secretly against me & finding me annoying anytime i talk about it but it's fine #it's so fucking isolating #i'm not losing my hyperfix yet thank god but i am in the stage of like realisation where the initial euphoria has worn off and i'm like #fuck no one else gets it. no one else is thinking about it like i am. and it's so lonely #< like not to sound like 'i'm 14 and no one gets me' or i'm not like other girls or whatever 😭 #it's not me being dramatic i genuinely. know that no one else is spending every waking moment thinking about the things i am the way i do #and it's so incredibly depressing i can't even explain it in a way that will make sense #because i want to talk about it so fucking bad and i can't. even to my friends and gf who always listen i end up feeling annoying #and then i get genuinely delusional not like tiktok girl voice delulu like i genuinely start questioning my entire reality #just if i talk about something a little too much #bc i'm convinced i'm fucking annoying and no one gets it and they're thinking bad things about me #but i know they wouldn't. but it feels like they are #idk #anyways !

[suffarustuffaru]

rating some rezero ships by um. how good they could cover up murder together

(feel free to read my tags for some explanations T^T)

#rezero #um. given the Various Moral Codes of these characters i figured this would be interesting to give my shot at..... and YES garf shaula and #cecilus are too fucking obvious HAH #not otto being in every single Success tier... except for the selling each other out / revenge one. yeah. yeah hes a bitch alright. #ok but i put rein/emilia there bc... ok i know their energy kinda similar to reinjulius but like i put rein/emilia there bc i feel like #theyd be like OH GOD OH GOD WE JUST DID THAT ON ACCIDENT OH MY GOD IF THIS GETS OUT THISLL BE BAD FOR ALL OUR LOVED ONES like theyd be #panicking and shit #while reinjuli would be like hahaha i am SO NOT OK but we gotta take accountability :((((( #ottosuba is like. literally not even a question that theyre all the way up there. theyd like pull similar shit to sunny and basil from omori #like theyd try to take their secret to the grave and theyd never be functional with each other ever again and then theyd go insane over what #theyve done. either that or theyd just murder some totally evil guy with basically next to zero regrets. otto was already the getaway driver #while subaru was killing petelgeuse in the back LMAO #i feel like with felix itd be like. if theres NO OTHER CHOICE hes gonna whip up reinhard and julius into shape and get them to actually do #it. we saw how he was when subaru was possessed by petelgeuse T^T #emilia rem are put that low bc i feel like theyd have no braincells to use to get out of this and of Course emilias freaking the fuck out so #i feel like whenever otto is paired with someone who has like More doubts and guilt and Panic about it otto would be like GET YOUR SHIT #TOGETHER WE HAVE TO DO THIS. which i feel is also what ram does with certain pairs. #damn... now i want fic where some random pair is trying to cover up murder for whatever reason... #i nearly put garf mimi higher up bc i feel like mimi Could and Perhaps Has gotten away with murder before already. but garf would be TOO #OBVIOUS.... #rip mimi. ur a queen for being such a gaslight gatekeep girlboss.

[lesbiangiratina]

Oh my god i need to get a phone with a headphone jack before i end it all.

#ive been using skullcandy wireless headphones for a few years but they fucking break every couple months. #also they discontinued the better kind. theres that too. #i bought a sony pair and ughhhh it sounds worse. trying to save it with equalizer but its so. whatever #can i just get the best and most convenient headphones ever. for free. #BUT UGGHHHH I HATE CHANGE!!! I HATE CHANGE!!!!!!!!!! #its hard enough trying to get alternative earbuds. i havent had a non-iphone since my fucking flip phone. #i dont want things to be different even when its for the better. i think i hauve autism. #yeah theres the fucking dongle but i want to charge my phone too. 3rd party things that do both suck ive tried them. GIVE PHONE MORE HOLES #whatever my phone is fucked up anyway. home button broke months ago. i could replace it some time next year. probably. #i need music. all i do is listen to music. 32 hours on spotify this week if you were curious. #the kat goes meow

[icewindandboringhorror]

I love all of these goofy product photos where the water bottle is extremely obviously just photoshopped onto a stock image of someone pretending to hold something or whatever.. very convincing..

#the last one where the water bottle is like nearly the size of the woman's entire leg ghbjbjhh #ALSO I know.. gross.. nasty.. amazon.. I was only looking there because I was trying to find an exact replica of an old water bottle #I bought like 6 years ago in a store and I just wanted another one of those and it seemed like the only place the old manufacturer #still sold was through amazon but.. alas.. I think they just don't make them anymore. so I have abandoned my hunt #I didn't actually buy anything. but I did get distracted clicking through product images for a few of them #it's bizarre how like............... idk.. WHY is this done??? Isn't this offputting to basically ANY potential customer?? or do people #not look at every photo/read the entire page/all product information before buying?? #all of these are from like front page ''top sellers'' or whatever like........... how does this not hurt the brand???? #If the company can't even bother to take a single photo of a real life person using their real life product then... that to me #is kind of red flaggy..?? even if you're an indie start up small business with hardly any funds.. still #A real photo of the product you are selling in a real actual non-photo shopped environment does not seem that inacessible #Maybe it's because everyone does everything on phones now?? So it's harder to see the pictures when they're smaller? #Kind of the same thing with ai art and also hair color photoshops lol.. On my full comptuer screen it is SOOO easy to spot ai art #like IMMEDIATELy from the little tells and ways certain details morph into each other etc. I dont even mean obvious dalle mini stuff but #like the Fancy High Quality Photorealistic AI art is still pretty blatant 98% of the time if you know what to look for. But I still catch #people sharing it a lot like 'omg where can I buy this pair of shoes!! :O <3' .. erm you cannot.. that is the most balatantly fake looking #pair of shoes I have seen in my life hhjbj.. the heels are both different heights. there's a different number of straps on each one. etc. #AND that phase back before colored hair was Mainstream and people would post photos like 'omg going to bring this to the salon!! dream hair #and it's like.. you can LITERALLY see the parts where it's 'colored outside of the lines' and is so clearly just a person with blond hair #that someone drew over with a tint brush or something not even very neatly. etc. etc. ANYWAY.. Maybe with phones it's harder to tell these #things?? To me so much of it is instantly recognizable and it's suprising to me that people either don't notice or don't care and will #interact with it anyway by buying the product or acting like some ai art fake furniture is real or etc. etc. ..hewwoo #Aslo sidenote - I think I've become soo cynical and tired of constantly being advertised to that I literally cannot shop without getting #exhausted. I do not see how marketing is anything but obnoxious and transparent. Every item description having stuff like ''Our company is #commited to bringing you the highest quality water products! we set out with a mission to bring high quality products to people all over #the world and we believe in spreading health and happiness and'' just like SHUT THE HELL UP!! youre a fucking company #you don't ''beleive'' in anything you are here to sell a product. stop trying to talk like you're my bff who cares deeply about my health #or something just tell me the materials and product specifications of your stupid fucking water bottle and move on. Idont need to hear your #whole bullshit spiel about what ~your company stands for~ that is SO much MORE offputting. you make me want to buy the item LESS.. #longing for the type of ads from my 1800s magazines that are just like 'this product is good. please buy it. okay thank you much. bye'

[disdaidal]

I don't want to brag or sound too optimistic about it, but after three weeks of training at a private college, I think my lessons with this one particular immigrant student (who has serious motivational problems lemme tell ya) are finally starting to get through and there's been improvement.

Only slight improvement so far but I have spotted some, so maybe not all hope is lost yet.

Remains to be seen I guess.

#personal #so in case anyone's still wondering i'm studying to become a tutor/instructor/guidance counselor etc. etc. whatever it's called in english #and currently i mostly work with immigrants with language. sometimes i help high school students as well. but mostly immigrants #and there's this one immigrant student who's been there since last spring. and he still barely even knows the basics because he's 'given up #according to him that is. he told me this at least three times yesterday and i told him that's a problem #so i've been trying to hammer it through his head that he can't be sitting in classes and using his phone when he's supposed to be learning #or expect me or teachers giving him all the answers when he also needs to show a little effort and help us back as well #and that he needs to participate in pair and group activities in classes because we're a team and we need to work together #so basically he's been asking me to either teach him or then find someone who can teach him #i told one of our teachers this and she answered that he could also participate in evening activities at the college but he's not doing tha #and according to him he doesn't 'mingle'. so i told him maybe he should once in a while. get out of his comfort zone. at least try #to my surprise he actually showed up to one of the evening activities that i hosted. didn't do much anything there but sit but still #that was effort. he did exactly what i said despite it making him a little uncomfortable so that's improvement #so then yesterday he asked me about teaching him the language again. i told him i host a homework club at tuesdays & thursdays @ 3:30-4:30p #he showed up there yesterday and was the only student. so i had time to teach him basic greetings. weekdays. months. things he shoulda know #and i thought it's all probably in vain but i tried. so today. he was in their class and actually doing pair work and reading stuff aloud #and even translating some stuff when i asked. calling it easy. and that he's trying to use his phone less and memorize this stuff instead #to which the rest clapped at and cheered him on for. and i told this to the teacher afterwards when she asked me about him. and she gave #me a thumbs up and looked a little surprised but also delighted. because he's been a popular subject amongst ourselves for a reason #so i don't want to get too optimistic about it. because he still has an attitude problem. but he's tried a little at least. so there's hope

[space-ninja-fashion-show]

glaring at the arsenal. bro what are you doing

(precision intensify is being A Lil Bitch on exalted weapons. only tested on titania and wukong but the bonus Does seem to apply In Practice but the arsenal doesn't actually display that. didn't have the spoons for more testing. most definitely do not have the spoons to test the claim that specifically on mesa it only applies 45% instead of 90% for some reason)

#chatter tag #ik its not even a good mod for wukong but he was next on the list and hes easy to test with #i just wanna use this mod on titania tbh. dex pixia go brr #still trying to make her as sp viable as i can bc oh shit i actually like her #the mesa one would probably require me to record and look through frame by frame and i do Not wanna deal with that #how the fuck does ken do this i test one very simple thing and immediately need to lie down #(tbf my brain extremely does not work with math) #(i still need to draw the X to make sense of fuckin. whatever its called. directly proportional number pairs #where one value is missing. my brain just does not work without the visual component)

[crunchchute]

me itching to post some cosplay pics i just found because i look good there but also fighting for my life to Not post them cause i dont want my face online

#plus it feels like cheating cuz i do not look that good irl. idk the spirit of a prettyboy twink posessed me during taking those photos #i would post them on instagram but they would drag me for my cool emo hair and cool emo clothes and #im talking about the time i cosplayed glitchtrap but it was hot so i went a dawktrap route with just head and gloves #and paired it up with the classic ourple guy outfit with the purple shirt and black vest and badge so it was very silly #nobody knew who i was at the con btw. except like 2 kids literally awful #you dont know purple guy???? #also found some that were from a project that i fucked up on. i still feel bad about it but oh well. was meant to collab with someone for #an edit and i had to take some videos for them to cut and edit but i suck at taking videos and am terrible on camera in general so i hated #every single take and they also didnt like it iirc. told me to take more and i had enough. and then i got locked out of my account so i was #like fuck it. and i didnt get back to them later so i am the AH #i got some screenshots from it that are cool but i cant post them as that would be mean and lame and whatever #oh well i dont even remember their acc anymore but i should have apologized and explained that i wont do more takes as they wont be better #do not ask me for a cosplay video ever #made me think of how many times people recorded me at cons only for the footage not be used in the aftermovies lol

[enniewritesathing]

the house has 3 bathrooms and YET

#ts4 #the sims 4 #sims 4 #simblr #oc: john #oc: brian #oc pair: healing hands #see i have body hair/facial hair growth on and for whatever reason the game gives him that #not that it looks bad or anything but i dont think john's a soul patch kind of guy #or even have thick facial hair it's always been scraggly #i didn't have enough space in this bathroom to do a little private area so whoever uses that is just out in the wind

[ashenxrogue]

staring intently at my tricolor offense teammate who brought a scoped charger

why would you do this

#splatoon 3 #i might be using neo splash o matic right now but like #i physically cannot compensate for someone who isn't great at sniping that hard in a 2 v 4 v 2 game mode #especially when its all of the tricolor battle maps #you tellin me that youre prepared to snipe on the triforce map? that's a literal pyramid? #okay buddy but like you didnt even do that great on the non-pyramid map #like use whatever you want but ya gotta be confident enough in your skill with it #that it doesnt matter whether youre on an attacking team of 2 or the defending team of 4 #and also that youre flexible enough in your playstyle that your weapon choice wont clash horribly with your potential single teammate #hence why i dont use splatlings in tricolor cause that can get iffy especially if you get paired with another charging weapon #oh hi the majority of this post is in the tags and i don't know why

[girlcaravaggio-a]

btw at the cost of sounding like a cunt i'd rather act upon ideas and conclusions i've reached on my own that i cannot synthetize in a slogan line than exist solely to parrot books you find on an instagram must read marxist-leninist theory section with no adaptation to context or flexibility of thought. i've recently read a disappointing communist youth newspaper issue, can you tell

#it's on me tbh btw i literally read this for the funsies #they're pathetic. it's enraging. #'we need communist action' i agree!! but then fucking do something yunno #the catholic committee is doing more for the people you call comrades than you your existence is literally borderline #offensive to the actual very concept of communist action you fucking prick your parents are landlords #guy who is going to profit off relatively massive inherited wealth: you must give all you have to the Cause #which like idk if you realize it's pretty ridiculous to use 60s rhetoric in 2023 instead of analyzing why the world moved on #from it in the first place and act accordingly. you're the reason radical action is dead. #anyways these are the same fellas who think we must 'distance ourselves' from whatever bad action done by the movement instead of you know #having a pair and owning up to it maturely. with like. political conscience. #maybe even having the bravery to defeat the national-democat narrative and say that it had a reason to be uh? #would not necessarely agree but it would still be a more radical statement than 'violent communist action was not really communism' #same for anarcho-communists but literally i'm not even going to their three people meetings i can't be bothered #the rage would just be too much i cant destroy my mental health like that #also because. maybe im kind of nuts but it's so funny when italians talk about the NECESSITY of violent political action right now. #like no yeah morally i agree you shoul always perform violent action and especially with this functionally rhetorically fascist government #but like idk man. coming from a place where people legally cannot have a little happy meeting where we discusshow much we'd like to blow #the president's brains off because this and that haha i think we're relatively fine. i think it's already a lot that all of our means for #radical expression are not in the hands and control of the state security in toto uhm.