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#excerpt from a book i'll never finish
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“I want to take my heart off my sleeve, it has grown too heavy.”
-m.n.
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lua-pele · 8 days
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As the sun sets, i patiently standing in the window, looking straight at your car parked on the other side. I don't want to blink, or turn my head side to side, or even turn around for i was hoping to see a glimpse of you, even if it's kilometer's away from where i stand. Even my vision was blurry, for i know and memorize how you walk, every step, every body movements you make. I knew it was you. Even i will not see your face visibly.. i knew it was you..
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lost-in-time-marie · 5 months
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It was a grey and overcast afternoon, as I sat outside breathing the cool, humid air, ripe with the heavy rain soon to come, and I thought to myself, there is still pain in my heart, but for the first time, I feel like I can live with it.
~K.
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musiquesduciel · 2 years
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One day we will all be part of one of the supermassive blackholes floating through space at trillion light years per second waiting to evaporate. An atom that vibrated right next to another in my arm will be trillion light years apart from it and part of another blackhole contributing to the heat death of the universe and never to be touching the other again, nor knowing it was part of one body a long, long time ago. Irrelevance of my existence never fails to amuse me. 
Please remember you were here.
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sahltz · 8 months
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I never knew that love could be like this; I know it can be soft, kind, and understanding, but despite the feeling of being loved, despite these things, there's still a hole that only we could fix. No matter how our loved ones pour all their love into us, it is like a futile attempt to let ourselves feel okay just by having their love. I've always told myself we cannot give what we do not have, yet here I am, loving but slowly drifting. It is like a race where only I can decide whether its time for me to stop this madness or let my loved ones hug my imperfections, or maybe I'm scared to show my weakness as I always prioritize loving myself even more or maybe I still haven't loved my self, perhaps I'm just faking it to act tough and be ready when people decide to break my trust again. I no longer hope; I go with the flow.
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myselfishworld · 8 months
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This is not my first time of getting drunk, even this is my first time of alcohol. She already had me perfect hangover, for years.
H.K on Time Doesn't Heal
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tinybabybunny · 10 months
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I find myself always intrigued by things larger than me by quite a hundred times. It is formidable, yet I like the feeling of being smol and vulnerable but powerful enough to make a giant bow down to me on all its fours. It could swallow me alive. Crush me within its fist. Somewhere I want it to be pertrified of how I, a creature equivalent as an ant is to a human, stand my ground. To devour me you have to fear me first.
-Sarjika
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mrly · 8 months
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you had an accent hard to understand and love that only found it’s way to the line between two things. i never blamed you for hugging me with torn hands. i knew what your arms were longing to say - stay here, forever, the house is yours and the world will always be there, spinning. stay here, with me and do not grow out of my embrace. stay here and i will learn to love you the right way, all over again
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josiebelladonna · 5 days
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she looked on at 300 pounds at one point as she grappled with the breaks in her heart, but the heat of life and seeing the love of her life with someone else brought her back to life.
she learned to show her skin with pride in hopes to bring him back.
she learned the way of the kitchen to enchant him, and she wound up enchanting girls and boys from far and wide.
her prowess is in her breasts. her vulnerability, in her stubborn belly. her secret weapon, her hair.
she is the portuguese waitress 🇵🇹💋
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trustonlystars · 1 year
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You wouldn't know, the blood stains on my palms are the remnants of the stories sitting as scars. I don't remember when these thorns fell in love with my fingertips, are they destined to create art that hurts? You know it was midnight and I was trying to look out into a world that's easier to understand, unlike my own heart. I did not have answers as to why your words walked so close-to-kill that night. There was no reason for me to seek empty souls and hollow houses, no reason for you to draw harsh lines, but that's what we do in love, no? Carve out our version of strokes even if that bleeds on the other side. I'll give you my side of the story and never hear yours, that's how you can choose to forget this story, and I can keep it alive. Afterall, I am a storyteller, how can I give up on mine?
- trustonlystars | Jannie F
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jacuzziwrites · 2 years
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"Love me." She pleads.
"I do not know how to live in a world where you do not love me. Love me, please." I look away. I can't look into her eyes. Her eyes hold such blatant adoration towards me and yet, I feel nothing towards her.
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“And perhaps this October, I’ll find myself a lover who meets me where the spirit meets the bones.”
-m.n. | “I won’t be able to look away.”
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lua-pele · 9 days
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The rain just stopped and it's quarter to three in the morning. I couldn't sleep because my head kept playing with the memories we had together.. it hurts so bad. I looked at the pictures of you i kept in my google drive..
"I want to forget you"
I'm pleading.. hardly pleading my heart to forget you..
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surfgirl66 · 2 years
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As he stood drinking her in from across the room he said, "Why didn't you tell me you were coming to town?"
She shrugged one shoulder that gave a sense of nonchalance that she wasn't feeling. "You told me you couldn't do this anymore. You broke off contact. What was I supposed to do?"
His blue eyes bore into hers, never breaking contact. "You could have called."
She huffed in exasperation. "Do you have any fucking idea how much I love you?" Tears formed and threatened to spill over. "Do you have any idea how much I want to throw myself in your arms right now and let the chips fall where they may?" She threw her arms wide and let them fall to slap the sides of her thighs. "I was trying to respect your wishes."
She turned away from him to look out the window, desperate to hide the tears, to hide the hurt.
She heard him murmur something, but couldn't make out the words. She turned. "What?"
He paused, staring at her before saying pointedly, "I said, maybe I was wrong."
Copyright ©️ surfgirl66
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shittonofapples · 2 months
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And just like that, after two days of knowing you, I suddenly understand evitative attachment. I had been pursuing people with whom I knew I had no chance and whom I knew I would not form an attachment with, because I did not want my affections to be returned. Because I did not want to meet someone with whom life seemed lighter and sweeter, in fear of losing them. I am aware of all my shortcomings, which make me not ideal for anyone right now. I do not wish to hurt you, nor do I wish to be hurt. I know in my bones we do not fit, but my heart leaps with joy at the sight of your smiling lips. Could you blame me for wanting to get away when I so desire to be ever so close to you? Could you blame me, lovely doll, if I stopped what we started last night and resumed as we were?
It was true when they said it came if you stopped looking for it, but love, to me, seems like a trap. It seems sweet, lovely, funny and kind but I recognize it for the painful trap it truly is and for what it truly would be if I let it enter my weakened heart.
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hazeltoheraugustus · 1 year
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I drink back my poison words
That cut deeper than any sword
I hit myself again and again
As the pain melts and flows
My pillow absorbs the hot tears
Leaking down my eyes
Night brings my worst fears
All my demons come to life
Cut, cut and cut
That's all I ever do
Red oozes out
It sings my song of doom
Keep torturing me like this
And I become your slave
The blood becomes my water
As I swim in pain
The familiar warmth feels good
The sting feels like home
The harm continues
As the night grows cold
~shubhaa
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