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jadetheblade4 · 10 days

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Are They Stupid?

A Dog Man Fanfic by Swirly Twirly

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Summary: Petey escapes Cat Jail, but the local guard that checks up on him is the one on his tail!! Will the shennanigans ever cease... (Takes place somewhere before A Tale Of Two Kitties) (Not a ship thing sorry weirdos but this gal wants to write for the silly of it ^_^)

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Part 1:

It was yet another normal day at Cat Jail, Collardale. The guard was doing his normal everyday rounds, albeit with a positive demeanor. He had been having a great day so far, thinking that nothing much could ruin it. He went to Petey's cell with a skip in his step.

"Gooooooood morning, Petey!" proclaimed the Guard, banging onto the cold metal bars of the cell. Petey, startled by this sudden noise, lifted his head up from his piles of papers and blueprints of escape. His face contorted into an annoyed glance once he saw who it was, his ears turned downward in disinterest.

"Aaaaaand goodbye to you, Guard..." Petey retorts, waving him off and continuing to work on his plans.

The guard chuckled. "Aw, cheer up, buddy! Big Jim and a bunch of other cats are planning on taking a sewing class today. You should join them!"

"Don't call me buddy! Besides, why would I want to be with any of those nut jobs? They're all stupid goofballs that don't have anything better to do with their life!" Petey took great offense in that chuckle, even slightly hissing his words to subconciously tell him to back off.

The guard tilts his head slightly, frowning a bit. "Then...what are you doing with your time?" he questioned, leaning onto the bars of Petey's cell.

Petey's sneer immediately dissapears the moment he realizes how suspicious he looks. "I- um...Well..." he stutters, trying to find something to pass off as an excuse. Suddenly, his ears perk up, a quick idea passing through his genius mind.

He picked up a piece of paper that was a shopping list of some sort but for evil machinery. The contents didn't matter, though. He turned it over and quickly doodled a crude-looking drawing of the guard and himself holding hands, trying to make it as nice as possible with his ratty artstyle.

"Well, for your information... I'm...drawing a picture!! Of us!! Hanging out or whatever, just come see it!" proclaimed the orange cat, waving the drawing above his head.

The guard's face lights up in glee. "Really, Petey? You drew a picture for me??" he squealed in excitement. He never would've thought that Petey would do something nice for him for a change!

Petey nods convincingly. "Uh huh, just open the cell door and come inside to see it!!"

Unlocking the door to petey's cell, the guard steps inside gleefully. "What does it look like? Oh, I hope you capture my likeness onto it!!"

"Yeah, yeah, here ya go, I made it with care and whatnot, blah blah blah sappy stuff..." Petey shoves the drawing onto the guard, who happily accepted it. The guard's eyes go wide as he scans the picture. A huge grin spreads across his face. "Aw, Petey, I love it!!! It looks so nice!!! C'mere you!!" He goes over to him and pulls him into a tight and loving hug.

"Oof!" Petey's breath slips out of him as he's trapped in the guard's iron grip. "Ok, man, hands off the merchandise!!" He squirms, trying to get away, but the guy has no plans of letting him go at the moment.

"This is the most thoughtful gift i have ever recieved in my whole entire life!!!! the guard proclaimed, continuing to cuddle him more. He comically spins him around and even kisses his cheek a couple of times, the gift really meaning a lot to him somehow.

"EUGH!! Alright ALRIGHT I GET IT I'm such a great pal now GET OFF!!!" Petey wriggled around his grasp until he popped off. He let out a "hmph!" as he tidied himself up from his sudden invasion of privacy. The guard jumped off to the side, a bit hurt by Petey's sudden cold nature. The orange cat notices his sudden deflate and feels a certain pull in his heart. "I mean, uh, no problem... figured I'd repay you for dealing with my, uh, schemes and stuff..." Petey stuttered, shifting his feet.

The guard's face lights back up again as he looks back at the picture. "Aww, it's nothing, Petey!! Just doing my duty!!" he said. Petey let out a smile, strangely happy about his half-assed drawing. He then shakes his head and tries to focus on the task at hand.

"I was thinking about hanging it up over there on the right side corner of my cell, can ya be a dear and put it there for me?" he bats his eyes innocently and points to said corner. The guard happily agreed. "Of course, dear pal!" He gives him one final hug and rushes to the wall to hang it up.

With a devious smile on his face, he tiptoes out of the cell. "Heheh, what a doofus..." the cat giggled. A few moments later, he escapes from the jail once more. "Ahh, finally! I can get back to doing what i usually do..." He walks back to his lab and breathes a sigh of relief. "The life...OF CRIME!!! HAW HAW HAW!!!!" he announces. The large building echoed his words, alerting the butler from the staircase.

"Heya Petey! Been a while since I've seen you around!!" he quickly steps down and joins him as Petey parades around his home. "Breaking out this time was a bit difficult," Petey went on, "but now things can finally get back on tra-"

A tv at the corner of the supposed room they're in suddenly announces its lovely presence by blaring breaking news from its LD screen. Petey and Butler turn their attention to the tv. It shows none other than Sarah Hatoff, greatest reporter, in front of the very Cat Jail Petey just escaped from moments ago.

"BREAKING NEWS, FELLOW CITIZENS OF COLLARDALE!!!" Sarah declared. "We are currently receiving reports of a runaway warden of sorts from the Cat Jail looking for a certain fiendish feline...PETEY!!!" A mugshot of his face is shown on the screen right next to a goofy-looking photo of the guard, to which Petey frowns upon. "He informs us that if we see the cat anywhere to report to him...and...only him." Sarah scratched her head in confusion. "Huh. Guess the police aren't needed. This is Sarah Hatoff, signing out."

The butler turned to Petey. "Huh, I guess you don't need to, after all!" he said with a dumbass smile on his face. Petey grimaces and pinches the middle of his forehead in frustration. "AAUGH....Why is there always SOMETHING to ruin the mood..." he groaned, marching up the steps to the lab's roof with the butler following right behind.

Up above, Petey and the butler scan their surroundings. The day-to-day hustle and bustle of the city rings out from below, showing no sign of anything unusual. The butler tilts his head. "Nobody here yet..." he muttered.

The orange cat crossed his shoulders and shook his head. "...Hmph! What am I even worried about anyways?!?" He laughed at how absurd he was acting at the moment to save face as he started walking back towards the stairs. "This lab is one of the most discrete and perfectly hidden buildings in all of the city of Collardale! It'll take a while before-"

A loud buzz-like sound suddenly calls out and the pair jumped in suprise. Petey rushed back and leaned over the roof once more to see a tiny guard waiting patiently at the door, pressing the goddamn buzzer.

"HOW DID HE FIND MY LAB!?!" Petey screamed. He quickly covered his mouth and dragged Butler down to the ground before Guard could see up above. He grabbed his butler by the shirt and whispered, "How did he find my lab?!?!?!"

The butler shrugged. "Gee, Petey, I don't have a clue how the guy could think of coming here."

"Hmm...strange." Petey let him go and scratched his head. He peered over the roof to look at his big fat-ass "PETEY'S SECRET LAB" sign. "Oh, by the way, I think you need to change a few of the lightbulbs on my lab's sign this weekend. A few of them are starting to fade out."

The butler rolled his eyes and sighed. "I'll buy lightbulbs later this evening, I guess..." he muttered again, peering over and looking at the sign with him.

Petey raised his eyebrow. "Also, quit muttering and mumbling so much, it's starting to irritate me >:( ."

The guard pressed the buzzer again. His hand contained a small piece of paper. "Helloooo?" he called out. "I'm an authority from the local Cat Jail! Is anyone home?" He looked up at the tall building, to which Petey noticed just in time and ducked. Unfortunately, the butler ducked a bit too late, therefore leading the guard to only catch sight of him and not Petey.

"Oh, hey there! I just wanted to ask a couple of questions, if ya don't mind!!" he shouted from below to up above. The butler pops out again and gives a thumbs up, then goes down again.

Petey facepalms himself and groans annoyingly. He then faces the butler, who smiled sheepishly.

"You better not tell him im here. In fact, make him regret coming here in the first place!! I don't wanna be involved with the guy any further!!" he yelled, grudgingly going downstairs.

The butler shifted uneasily in place. "Uh, sure, Petey... I'll see what I can do, I guess..." he mumbled once more as he followed the grumpy cat.

#jadetheblade #jade post #jade fanfic #dog man #writing #dogman #fiction #dav pilkey #petey the cat #guard dog man #dog man guard #fanfic #fanfiction #crack fic #dont really know all the details myself so ill leave those tags for now i was born yesterday 💔#jade art

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sugirandom · 7 years

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365 days of writing: day 63

Day 63: changing tastes

So I’m feeling a little more rested now. I’m still a little bit tired since the last few nights I haven’t really had any restful sleep but I at least don’t have to deal with my family much today and like I mentioned yesterday my best bro will be over later today. I took some time to get caught up on some of my watch later queue and now I’m just hanging out until my best bro calls to say he’s on his way. I had a little mishap with the passport forms and I am currently out of printer ink but I’ll print out a new form at work on Monday.

I wanted to briefly talk about one of my dilemmas as an Anime fan. People who follow my blog are probably well aware of the fact that I tend to watch older Anime or at the very least I’m not really up-to-date with all of the current shows. I’m a pretty slow viewer in general and my interest with Anime tends to be a little on the picky side so it’s hard to get together with fellow Anime fans since I’m watching a lot of stuff that’s old news for others. That being said I do have quite a few fans who share in the same Anime as I do interest wise and I’m grateful for that. This just makes it hard for me to interact with the general population of Anime fans. I’ve also gone through different stages with Anime when it comes to what genres or styles I’ll watch.

For example I used to only like certain styles like CLAMP or just more visually appealing Anime and for a while I even watched a few Shoujo Anime but I grew tired of a lot of the troupes that after a while made them very predictable and boring. That’s when I got into Shounen and what my manga teacher calls “Fusion Anime” that have elements of both Shoujo and Shounen. That’s pretty much where I am now except that I was still pretty picky about the look of the Anime I watched and it had to have a certain level of visual appeal. I guess I’m still like that now to an extent but I’m willing to excuse some Anime if the story is really well-written. I also got into Dragon Ball finally…

Dragon Ball and I have had a complicated past. I think it was a mixture of where I was in my life and the dub just not really doing it for me. I guess it didn’t help that I saw Dragon Ball Z first and it was right in the middle of the series. At the time, it was a little too over the top for me. I think the first dub didn’t really help it’s case for me. I haven’t really seen enough of the show in the new dub to judge if it’s much better but yeah, back then I just wasn’t having it I guess. My best bro really spoke highly of Dragon Ball though so I wanted to give it a try. Not to mention that my usual distaste for Toriyama’s artstyle was softened by Chrono Trigger (simply because it worked so well for that game) so I decided to get over myself and try Dragon Ball. I’ve seen two episodes in Japanese so far and I’m enjoying it. If I enjoy the whole thing, I might try to give Dragon Ball Z another try and while I can’t say I’m really into the fandom the way I am with a lot of the other Anime I watch, I am enjoying it…so yay?

I also am a lot more into Gundam than I was when any of the shows were first aired over here. It’s just interesting to see how interests change over time yet I can’t say I’ve stopped liking Sailor Moon or Tenchi Muyo or any of the other shows I was watched back then that I did like. I guess it was just something I was thinking about…. How I just spiraled into Shounen Anime all the sudden and I’m a lot pickier with Shoujo now than I used to be. I guess it makes sense though, to go through different phases in your life but still hold some things dear and I guess discover things you missed out on before or maybe just didn’t need at the time.

#365 days of writing #day 63 #Sugi writes

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