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pleasekitasan · 2 years

Text

untouchable

pairing: oikawa nii-chan x f!reader, MDNI!!!!!

word count: 5k

tags and warnings: incest, dub-con / reluctance, intoxication, manipulation, virginity loss ( it's a social construct, but tooru-nii wants yours 🥴 ), god complex, all characters are over 18!!, use of "cunt", creampie / unprotected sex, timeskip tooru. if any warnings are missing, please let me know!

a/n: this is my submission for @iwaasfairy's persephone collab! if you haven't checked out her work yet, god lord please do. i'm so honoured to even have my blog & fic on a post of hers!! hope you enjoy tooru-nii being a moral monster to the tune of monster by exo! 😇

i'll flip you over, break you down, and swallow you up

i'll steal you and indulge in you

i'm gonna mess you up

i'm engraved in your heart

so even if i die, i'll live forever

when your nii-chan told the family that he was moving to argentina, everyone ( including you ) was so happy for him. to be able to find your passion in high school and pursue it after isn't something that everyone has the luxury of doing.

on the week leading up to his departure, you would follow him around like a puppy, even going out with him and all his high school friends to drink ( nii-chan would sneak you cups of sake when workers weren't looking ) to make sure you didn't lose a single second with him. by the time you two arrived home, your parents would be asleep or just heading to bed, so it was more than easy to sneak into nii-chan's room and sleep curled up at his side, hands scrunching the front of his shirt as you held on to him, even in your dreams.

seeing him off at the airport was the first time you felt your heart break. he looked so happy and you were, too! just really, really deep inside. ever since you were born, it was tooru-nii that looked after you when your parents were away ( which was a lot ). it was tooru-nii that helped you with your homework after school. it was tooru-nii that put you on the volleyball team as his manager. it was tooru-nii you'd scream for during all his matches. he's your first love — not your mother or father: it was always nii-chan.

after he left, life became bleak. the house felt so much emptier and your days so much darker. the volleyball team was never the same without him, but you stayed as a manager until graduation came around. with nii-chan no longer around, you used your free time to study and got into the best schools in the country, but it still didn't feel like this was the right path or what you should do, even when tooru-nii called to congratulate you.

a year after his departure, it was your turn to wear the black cap and gown, throwing the former in the air with the remnants of a smile twitching at your lips. you aren't sure what you're free from, but you feel relieved and relaxed. the rest of the day was spent bidding your friends farewell, most of them staying in miyagi for college, whilst you accepted a scholarship in tokyo. by the time you get home, your cheeks are tear-stained from the amount of goodbyes you've had to express — you really are going to miss a lot of them, especially the volleyball teammates that supported you throughout tooru-nii's absence.

the dark house suddenly becomes blinding as the lights flicker on and you shield your squinting eyes as the sound of "surprise!" mixes in with "congratulations" ( your parents weren't the best with planning things in general ). laughter bubbles up in your chest and you take a deep bow where you are at the door for all the relatives that stopped by.

"thank you, everyone!" your aunts and uncles, baby cousins and grown ones, even your grandparents were there. they didn't come by for tooru's graduation ( he explicitly said he didn't want a party ), but they stopped by to give you gifts, money, and lots of awkward hugs.

only when the last of your mother's side is done hogging you does tooru steal your attention.

"happy graduation, my sweet little imouto-chan."

your eyes light up, filling with the joy you've been deprived of for the past year.

"nii-chan!" you jump into his open arms without another thought and nuzzles your face into his neck, lips spread into a wide grin. "what're ya doin' here? i thought you were busy with a game this week!"

"well... mom 'nd dad called me up about a month ago to tell me that you're finally graduating. had to make somethin' up so you'd feel surprised. did ya miss me?" his question seems like such a stupid one. isn't it painfully obvious with the way you're clinging to him, ignoring everyone's laughter as they murmur about how close you two must be?

"maybe," you hum teasingly, a giggle leaving your lips when you see tooru-nii's small frown. "of course i did, dummy."

reluctantly, you pull away so things don't look weird ( weirder? ), but tooru's fingers lace with yours as he leads you around the house to greet your father's side of the family, your older brother squeezing your palm when you seem to grow disinterested in the elders' nagging or advice. he's always looked out for you and tonight, you know that this will never change.

"nii-chan," you giggle as his hot breath tickles the curve of your ear.

with all the adults gone and your parents resting in their bedroom, it was up to you and a tipsy tooru-nii to clean up, but having the elder dropping items with his butterfingers over and over again made you both agree to leave a note on the fridge saying that you'll clean it up in the morning.

now he's crumbling on top of his bed and he takes you down with him just as you close the bedroom door.

"my imouto, my sweetheart," he slurs a bit, wrapping his arms tightly around you so you're resting on his chest.

there's a smile you can't bite back and you lean up to nuzzle your cheek against his, the proximity and warmth of your older brother after their absence makes the hole in your chest slowly heal, the emptiness filling up with the love you've missed out on.

tooru pulls back a bit and your lips twitch at the corners from the loss, but his palms are quick to engulf your cheeks, his thumbs tracing underneath your doe eyes. even with moonlight as the only light source, you look so breathtaking to him, like you're the only girl he'll ever see.

"love you, sweetheart," he whispers, the smell of alcohol faint, but noticeable. your nose scrunches a bit and you start to lean into one of his hands, nodding.

"love you too, nii-chan. with all my heart!"

"just your heart?" his words catch you off guard and the way you tilt your head with confusion only makes the heat in the pit of tooru's stomach grow. "you see, imouto-chan, i love you with my body, heart, and soul."

his words individually are digestible, but when put together, they only blind you even further, your brows meeting in the middle with your visible lack of understanding.

frustration lines his voice in a thin layer at the way you don't seem to really get what he's saying — how is this even possible after you've pined for him for almost two decades?

"don't you get it, sweetheart?" one of his large hands swallows yours and places your palm in between his legs where his cock is straining against his sweats and boxers ( two layers too many if you ask him ). "i want you in every realm possible."

slowly — painfully slow, you start to comprehend what he — tooru-nii, your brother, is telling you. knowledge flashes in your eyes with a deep frown and you try to pry your hand away from his too warm one, but he fights it, pressing down even harder and bucking his hips into the barely tangible warmth of your tiny palm.

"you can't run away, baby. you made this mess, so you have to be the one to clean it up. take care of me like i selflessly took care of you all these years, sweetheart."

the pressing urge to ask if this is all a joke bubbles in your mouth, but before you have the chance to let it out, he presses his lips to yours with an unmistakable moan. tooru's way past the guilt he's held on to for years and allows himself to indulge in the delectable taste of your mouth, the way you mould so easily against him, as if you were made for him — but you are, aren't you?

only when he notices that you haven't breathed in a while does he pull away, lewd lines of spit still connecting his lips to yours; he leaves them there to let the image burn itself into his mind.

"nii-chan," you choke out, "i-i don't think i can do this... it's weird. i don't love you like this."

there's heartbreak in his eyes, perhaps the very same look in yours as he left for south america one year ago, and you feel your chest clench. when his eyes gleam with moisture in the reflection of the moonlight, you gasp in panic and hurry your hands to cup his cheeks out of instinct. you'd do anything to assure that nii-chan feels better, even if it means breaking moral and ethical codes... right? you should, right? he raised you more than your parents did without asking for anything in return, except this. just one thing, one time. you can do that.

"just one time, nii-chan..." mischief returns to tooru's eyes and he nods with no intent of keeping his promise.

"i promise it'll feel good, sweetheart." his breath is hot on your mouth as his hands slide down your neck, collarbones, and your sides, groping every inch of you he can on the way. "say you love nii-chan."

when he reaches the hem of your dress, he scrunches it in his fists and lifts the fabric up, up, up until it bunches in your underarms. the playful lilt in his eyes turns predatory in a second; the way he looks over your body makes a shiver run down your spine and you rush to cover yourself with your hands, but he's much too quick. two strong hands grab your wrists and pin them down by your head as a deep chuckle rumbles in his chest.

"have you've been holding out on me all these years, imouto-chan?" gentle lips press against your cheek and you feel the curl of his smirk as he trails wet kisses down your neck, his fingers finally releasing you to lift your dress up and off your body, your bra easily undone and stripped off next. his guttural moan fills the room when his hands engulf your tits, fingers indulging as he squeezes your plentiful flesh. a glimmer of hope forms when your eyes water up and spill with tears — maybe he'll see just how unwilling you are, how much you aren't enjoying this, and stop in his tracks. the miniscule possibility is washed away like a grain of sand in a windy wave as you feel the throbbing of his cock through his clothes — the same throbbing feeling you'd experience when he'd sit you on his lap whenever you'd sob and tell him about how issei senpai didn't return your texts ( it was all his doing with his threats to fuck up during matches if issei so much as even texted a period back to you ). it's clear now that it wasn't just the tears that made him so excited, it was the lack of power you had as you slumped on top of him, like you are underneath him, too.

"i love you, sweet pea. do you love nii-chan, too?" he's more pressing than before, his fingers squeezing down on your tits to elicit a response, something, out of you. his expression remains attentive when he wraps his mouth around one of your nipples, flicking and sucking on the peak as the now free hand dips lower and lower, tracing calloused fingertips all the way to your slit where he can witness your body betraying you. his digits get coated with your slick in a matter of seconds from just teasing the petals and you can feel the vibrations of his smug chuckle against your sensitive bud.

your unskilled hands could never provide yourself with the pleasure that tooru-nii instills upon you with only a single digit and he has you moaning, back arching slightly above the sheets.

"oh, god." you want to shut up, to deny him the satisfaction of knowing that he's actually making you feel good while he defiles you, but you've never won against nii-chan in anything — this is no different. slowly, you unravel underneath him, your hands grabbing his shoulders as his lips curl up into a devlish smirk. "i love you too, tooru-nii," you murmur in response a bit belatedly.

hearing it just once is enough. his eyes light up as if you bought him a spot on the olympic team, his head lifting from your chest with a lewd smacking sound of his grinning lips, only for him to trail downwards again, his mouth hot and wet as he quickly dips into your belly button before replacing his finger at your swollen clit with his mouth instead.

instantly, you feel the difference between his fingertip and his tongue, the latter gentler, but quick as he flicks against the sensitive nub until you're whimpering so loud, your hand clamps over your mouth. tooru moves his finger to trace circles around your entrance instead, letting your juice cover the tip of it before he slides into your unpenetrated walls. when he's met with slight resistance at the end of the digit, he pulls away from you with his spit and your nectar stuck to his mouth and chin.

"don't tell me you've never touched yourself, sweetheart... iwa-chan didn't even try to fuck you?" his invasive words make your cheeks flush bright red and you shake your head vigorously in response. your nii-chan's best friend has tried endlessly to deflower you, but you'd always scare him off by saying that tooru-nii would find out and sabatoge matches in response. your threats were empty, but iwaizumi wasn't dumb enough to think that the chance of it happening was none — he's seen the way tooru hovered over you for years, always reluctant to let anyone else have your attention, the captain would've found out one way or another, though if iwa had your consent, it might've been less of a disaster.

"you've been saving yourself for nii-chan all these years, just how it should be. it's almost poetic, really." the smile on his features bring about a shudder from your frail shoulders and you start to close your legs together, but tooru pinches the inner expanse of your thigh as punishment. "don't try to hide from me, imouto-chan. let me see my present and really appreciate it the way a man should."

obedient and submissive, the way he wants you to be — the way you've always been for him — you lay there bare and embarrassed, legs spread as he starts to undress himself. the scarlet that flushed his cheeks and chest is entirely gone now, his hands no longer shaking as he tosses his shirt up and over his head, his words no longer slurring as he calls you a handful of degrading words. the alcohol is already flushed out of his system and the only thing intoxicating him now is you.

in the time he's been gone, the growth tooru has gone through is strikingly noticeable: his shoulders are wider, his arms bulging with twice as much muscle power, his chest puffier and his abs more defined, even in the dark. a hesitant hand reaches up to hold onto his bicep like you used to when you'd try to pry him off of you whilst wrestling, except this time, your fingers are stranded much farther away from each other than you're used to.

"you like how much bigger nii-chan is now, sweetie?" the cocky grin on his lips isn't visible, but it's thick in his voice. with you slightly distracted, he takes the opportunity to rid himself of his slacks and briefs, kicking them off his ankles when they pool there. his question goes verbally unanswered, but he can feel the way your small fingers are starting to run along the strong muscles that lay underneath them, as if silently worshipping.

the single chuckle that escapes his smirking mouth is enough to break you out of your trance, your hand falling from his limb so you can cover your chest with your palms. you're hyperaware of his lingering eyes and the fact that you're both naked in his bed, his gaze unlike that of a loving brother, someone that swore to protect you from other men doing this to you.

"you were made for me, sweetheart. i was the one that asked kaa-san and otou-san for you. without me, you wouldn't be here. don't you think i'm a little... underappreciated?" his words took a twist you weren't expecting and your brows furrow together as you try to process what he's trying to say — are you supposed to be at his disposal because he asked for a sibling as a kid? it doesn't take too long for him to answer your question. "personally, i think you should worship me. thank me for allowing you to be born."

if you weren't under pressure, perhaps you would've done the logical thing and shoved him off of you whilst laughing wildly. he's being ridiculous and his logic is so deeply flawed.

but that's not what you see in your head right now. right now, you see the way your parents praised tooru-nii for every achievement he's earned, no matter how small, while they had overlooked your 1st place spelling bee trophy and the full-ride scholarship you worked so hard for. you think of the leftover pieces of fruit you'd get only if tooru-nii didn't finish off the plate that your mother would meticulously cut for him, your allowance being pennies whilst tooru-nii had a trust fund. every time you'd feel dejected, it was your brother that would tell you "great job" or sit you on his lap as he fed you all your favourite fruits, even if it meant he'd get less of them. you learned to ask your nii-chan for money whenever you needed a new uniform or school supplies.

he was right. you didn't mean anything to your parents and it finally makes sense why you lived in his shadow your entire life, why you relied on him for everything: tooru-nii is your provider, your god.

as comprehension starts to light up in your eyes, your brows unfurrow and your orbs retain their usual doe shape. he sees a sense of recognition flash in them and his lips curl into a crooked smirk — you're his, like you were always meant to be.

"thank you, nii-chan," is the first thing you utter out, tears welling at your waterline again for different purposes this time. this time, you're grateful; you feel blessed to be underneath him. your pathetic whimpers reflect just how sorry you are for your resistance and you part your legs mindlessly to let him enter however he wants — and why shouldn't he? he's taken care of you like one would their most prized possession for almost two decades now.

"that's my girl." the praise rushes straight to your pussy, which just starts to leak with desire, and you moan just from his words. "i'm glad you finally understand, sweetheart. i knew you could do it." he sounds condescending, but the way his warm palm caresses your cheek and his eyes gleam as they bore into yours makes show that he meant his words in a thoughtful manner.

"want you, nii-chan," you mumble, desiring nothing more than to fulfil your life's purpose of giving tooru-nii everything he wants — you're lucky that he wants you right now.

"of course, darling," he responds dismissively, as if your words didn't make a drop of pre-cum fall from his sobbing tip. "just have to make sure you're ready is all." and he does so thoroughly, dipping his head as he lifts your legs up, up, and up until you're almosy folded in half, his own torso bent over so he can press a sloppy kiss against where he knows your clit is restlessly throbbing. he's wreckless as he spreads your slick folds with his pointer and middle finger from below, his chin almost touching the dip between his digits as he feasts on you. the textured surface of his tongue licks a thick stripe from the origin of your sweet nectar and up to your clit that he finds underneath the cloak of your puffy folds, the edge of his wet muscle roughly flicking as his mouth latches on to the surrounding skin so he can suck down.

oh, the noises you make as your hands grip his chestnut locks are almost as intoxicating as your taste, and if there's ever been a time when tooru was pussy-drunk, it was nothing compared to now: he was absolutely inebriated beyond return with you.

he repeats what he did before, tracing circles around your entrance before he slides a finger in only halfway, so as to keep the last remaining evidence of your purity intact, then another to stretch you out — to be the considerate brother he always is, of course.

your back slowly lifts and he feels your fingers curl tighter around his hair, so he doubles down, lapping at your clit with lewd smacks of his lips filling the room until he feels your body tense — and that's when he pulls away from you without pity, the desperate cry from your poor lips that've swelled from how hard your teeth dug into them making it his turn to moan.

you look debauched, but he knows that there's still an ounce of innocence left within you that he's intent on taking.

"sweet imouto-chan," he murmurs as he finally takes your aching legs, folding them so your calves rest on each of his toned shoulders, his knees a few inches from your ass that's almost lifted from the mattress. "won't you tell me you love your nii-chan one more time?" soft lips press along your calf and he noses gently as a show of affection, luring you into saying what he wants to hear again.

"love you, tooru-nii," you respond obediently, lust thick in your voice as you realise how sticky you are between your legs, how much your entrance is clenching on nothing when it should be him instead.

"that's my girl," he repeats, but you don't mind hearing the same sweet words over and over, the possessiveness behind them. from where he kneels, he gets the perfect view of your slit and how it glistens in the moonlight with as much craftsmanship as if you were a hand-painted masterpiece of art about to go up in the louvre.

his cock twitches and chest clenches when he realises that all of it is for him, and that's how it'll be from now on — he'll make sure of it. greedy palms skim down your legs and hips until he can grab at your tits, the perfect size to fit in his hold, using them as leverage as he starts to finally tease his leaking tip against your desperate hole. with skilled thumbs, he flicks your pebbled buds and leans down so he can watch as you become his.

"take it all like a good girl," is the last you hear before he pushes just the head of his cock in, but it's enough to make your eyes widen — this is nothing compared to the two fingers he used to prep you.

"i-it hur—" but he won't have any of that.

tooru pushes in deeper, harder, until he's halfway in and he can feel the resistance of your hymen disappear. but that's when your pain reaches a peak and your back arches off the bed, your tiny hands pushing at his shoulders to try and fight him. the training and growth from his time away from you was all for this moment, to make sure that he can continue going inside of you, despite how much you protest.

"good girl," he breathes out huskily, uncaring of your struggles and the tears that fall down the sides of your cheeks. you're so warm and tight and he wants you sheathed around him completely, so he does it, he takes what he wants. within seconds, tooru bottoms out until his tip is buried deep within your walls and his head lolls, unable to keep it up as pleasure pumps through his veins. "holy fuck," he groans.

your sobs have quieted by now and your body's too limp to do fight back any longer — not that it would've had any impact. selfishly, he doesn't care if you've adjusted or if you will, his hips vigorously bucking against yours so he can pump in and out of your sweltering walls. the sound of his body pounding against yours is only amplified by the liquid shame that covers your thighs and his own.

with watchful eyes, he commits the way your face contorts from pain, then morphs into one of pleasure to memory as he lifts a hand to your cheek, making his weight no longer crush down on your chest as much. he caresses your tear-stained face, feigning pity in his chestnut orbs, but the smirk on his lips is as twisted as his thoughts. god, he loves the sight of you getting fucked dumb, each and every thought leaving your head each time he plunges into your hot, wet walls, until he pushes against the spongy bundle buried deep in you — then your eyes are rolling to the back of your head.

"who's nii-chan's sweet whore?" he grits out through his teeth, trying his best to keep his head from throwing itself back so he can watch you; he doesn't want to miss a single second of this. with the way your mouth only parts to let out lewd whimpers and moans, he knows he won't get an answer, but that's alright.

your gummy walls have already tightened and pulsed around his cock over and over — no surprise when he was the first thing to ever penetrate you, let alone this deep. the hand on your chest drops to hold your hip, prompting you to arch your back as he lets the fingers on your chest find solace in between your slippery folds to draw rough circles around your throbbing clit, forcing relief on you.

"be a good little sister and cum nii-chan's cock while he fills you up," he murmurs in a saccharine voice, so sweet that his proposition doesn't ring any alarms in your head. all you do is nod pathetically and grip his biceps ( when did they get so hard to wrap your hands around again? ) as you brace yourself for another orgasm.

with the extra stimulation of his digits, you feel the coiling hot heat in your core far more than the previous times, your knuckles turning white as you try to contain the feeling, but to no avail with tooru-nii pushing harder and harder into you, drops of his sweat falling onto your tummy.

"n-nii-chan, wait—" you try. you really feel like it's too much, but you see that your cry falls on unhearing ears when tooru starts to moan louder and louder. he pulls his hand back to slap it down against your clit and that's the last thing you remember before you're screaming "nii-chan!" repeatedly in between sobs, finally letting go. your eyes clamp shut and your toes clench so hard, you might've twisted a muscle. the faint sound of "oh, fuck" in your brother's voice lingers when you feel the pressure building up inside of you become lifted, almost like relief. your fingers letting go of him one by one as the strength in your body depletes in the afterglow of your orgasm.

"cutie," his voice sounds almost... in disbelief. "fuck, you there?" his fingers give your aching clit a nudge, jolting you back to reality. "you...you squirted."

in an instant, your eyes fly wide open and you lift your head ( much to the protest of your already sore body ) to see the moisture that glistens on his torso and your thighs, a few drops falling down his legs, too.

"i'm so sorry," you blurt out, shame making your cheeks redden even further, but tooru-nii looks far from enraged or displeased. his smile only widens and he leans in to press a kiss to your wet forehead.

"and what would you have to apologise for, sweetheart?" he seems more pleased — a bit cocky, even — and he slowly slips out of you ( not without a groan ), paying no mind to the mess on his sheets as he lays down beside you, turning onto his side with an arm stretched out under his head, the other hand stroking your damp cheek with the backs of his fingers. "you've been nothing but perfect."

the sun in argentina seems so much more powerful than it is back home, your skin having grown just a shade darker despite all the sunscreen you've been using. it was inevitable with how much time you spend on the beach in a skimpy bikini each day after tooru-nii finishes practice with his team — he won't let your feet touch sand unless you're nude or only covering the absolute necessities.

after a few weeks, you've adjusted to tooru's schedule — wake up, go for a jog, eat, practice, beach, fuck, then sleep; rinse and repeat. he never asks if you miss home or if and when you want to go back. you gave up your scholarship and admission to the school you got into the second tooru-nii asked you to move to argentina with him.

the first time he introduced you to his teammates, you couldn't understand any of the conversation taking place above your head, but the catcalls and whistles that came during it made you squirm just a bit. one of them looked at your face, then nii-chan's repeatedly, asking something about siblings you're sure because he said it in english, and you paid enough attention in school to learn that word. but nii-chan just gave a friendly hit to the man's shoulder and shook his head. when you had asked tooru about it later, he gave you a confused look, head tilted.

"you're my sweetheart, darling. i might be your big brother, but i love you much more than that — we love each other more than that." his toned arms pulled you in for an embrace and you returned it with a tight smile, nodding as you lowered your head against his shoulder, a single tear escaping your wet eyes.

this was what you were made for: to serve tooru-nii, no matter where he is in the world. you're his sweet doll, his darling — his perfect imouto-chan.

#oikawa x you #oikawa x reader #haikyuu x reader #tooru x reader #tw.incest #tw.dubcon #oikawa

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zyrafowe-sny · 6 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tag @fairytales-and-folklore! No pressure tags: @violet-prism-creatively @candyskiez @branmuffins22 @gakriele-lvs-blog @angelcloves @midnights-dragon @abstract-moth @thegrimshapeofyoursmile @sercezgazety @drev-the-procrastinator @watery-melon-baller @sir-ballister-boldheart @kestrel-wylde @madlad06 @unniebeans @mr-jaybird @halcyonhue and anyone else who sees this

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

29, but 12 of them are drabbles/drabble sequences based on Whumptober/Angstober prompts

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

41,643

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mainly The Owl House and Nimona, but I've also posted I Was a Teenage Exo-Colonist and have WIPs/plot bunnies for other fandoms

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Dear Bat Queen is still beating out Blood Brother, but I wouldn't be surprised if their positions flip. like a bolt out of the blue is a far third, then World's Best Turkey Carver, then arm-upgrading is a love language.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try hard to respond to every comment since I enjoy the community aspect of fanfic. However, there are a few comments that I haven't replied to yet, mostly because I wanted to give a thoughtful response but wasn't in the right headspace for it.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

My Whumptober/Angstober drabbles are pretty angst heavy, as are many of my other drabbles/ficlets.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

arm-upgrading is a love language is almost entirely domestic fluff. World's Best Turkey Carver has more twists before a happy resolution.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not currently. I haven't entirely ruled it out, but I've mostly written genfic.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Nope. I've gotten inspiration from other media, but nothing that counts as a crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Hrm. Elizabeth Bennett and Fitzwilliam Darcy are old friends, though Anne Elliott and Frederick Wentworth give them a run for their money. Alanna the Lioness and George Cooper were also a formative couple in my early teens.

(My TOH fics are mostly-gen even if they nod at ships, my IWATEC fic does strongly imply Sol/Dys, and I am writing Goldenheart in some Nimona WIPs.)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I still have hope for my favorite WIPs!

I need to pick up my TOH grief Christmas fic again if it's ever going to be written.

My Palistrom & Promises series has been on an extremely long hiatus because I am (still) having trouble deciding how much of FTF and WAD I want to keep and how much I will ignore (this may also involve rejiggering the WIP that's furthest along).

I am not sure I can fully execute my phantom limb pain WIP to match my vision, but I think I can salvage at least a shorter fic from it and I am regularly plugging away at it with the help of WIP Wednesday asks.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I can occasionally write punchy 100 word drabbles. I like to think I also do a decent job at character studies. Dialogue is fun to write, but I am less sure that I am good at it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

description, action, real plot, anything longform

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've done a tiny bit of it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Umm... probably Star Wars? It was mostly snippets of dialogue handwritten in journals.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Oooph. I'm going to show Intervention some extra love - I didn't realize how much of my soul I poured into that one until after I started reading comments.

#thanks for the tag!#sometimes I write #my fanfic

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kpopjust4u · 1 year

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Crushing on the quiet girl in school (EXO)

This was a request from my OLD EXO blog (@exo-k-m-reactions-blog), bringing the last of the requests from there to here.

Post Date: 13th January 2023 Content: Fluff TW?: Highschool/College!Au Request?: Yes

A.n: I do apologise for the lack of posting, I have been busy with family and because of that, I’m not actually isolating with COVID, fun times. I really am sorry about the lack of posts but hopefully this week I’ll be able to catch up on a few requests if I can!

Masterlist Prompt list

Xiumin: He’d definitely be the type to wait until outside of school hours before trying to talk to her, mabybe accidently bumping into her outside of the gates when she’s walking home so he could make conversation so there’s really no one around to watch and make fun, just to make her comfortable.

Suho: He’d be the type to try and get her involved in class activities, being really patient with her, just so she has the chance to come out of her shell a little. He’d even offer to do homework and study with her just so she has someone to talk to/ hang out with if she wants to.

Lay: He’d be the type to admire from a distance for sure, scared that if he tries to say or do anything he’d scare her off from him. But this doesn’t stop him smiling her and being the politest and kindest towards her when she’s in close proximity.

Baekhyun: He’d definitely be battling with his nerves and being shy for sure but that won’t stop him from making conversations any given moment he could. She walks into class and takes her seat? He asks her how her day went the day before, definitely also be the type to hand her little notes to make her smile.

Chen: He’d be the class clown for sure, and will always make sure that he captures her smiling and laughing at him when he does something. OR. He’d be the type to cut in line when getting food just so he could suggest something to her and try to be slick that way.

Chanyeol: He’d definitely be the type to make people laugh regardless and be so polite to everyone. The trope of the girl dropping her bellongings and him helping her pick them up or do general acts of kindess so she takes notice of him would be his way of trying to get to her.

D.O: He’d be the type to admire from the distance, for sure. Especially in the library and notice she’s on her own a lot. Part of him would want to go over and talk to her about her studies, whilst the other wants him to leave her be just in case he wasn’t her type.

Kai: He’d definitely be the type to try and impress her despite being extremely shy about it. Would try and be slick by offering everyone to join his dance classes but would try and spend more time talking to her about it, telling her that he’d think she’d do so well.

Sehun: He’d be the type to slowly start teasing her because he likes her, but would be giggly and shy even if she looks his way. The teasing wouldn’t huge but like would ruffle her hair when walking past, or just hanging out by her locker and refusing to move but will anyway because she smiles at him.

Tags: @scuzmunkie , @ateezreactionsandscenarios , @trashlord-007 , @fanfictrashlord-007 , @whatudowhennooneseesyou , @icyllic

#kpop #kpop blog #kpop reactions #kpop exo #exo #exo reactions #exo xiumin #exo suho #exo lay #exo baekhyun #exo chen #exo chanyeol #exo d.o #exo kai #exo sehun

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airbendertendou · 2 years

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SWEET LIES! ♡ poly!tokyo revengers

@clovers-garden-co requested : what about like, mikey, baji, and Kazutora x reader though.. especially for the drama part too.. because kazu would come later on, and it would just be jiro n kei.. and then boom, valhalla. maybe reader joins valhalla with kei to yk make sure he stays okay?

synopsis : baji keisuke has a staring problem. sano mikey manjiro eats all of your food and just giggles when you mention it. hanemiya kazutora allows bad thoughts into his head and bad people into his life. and you - well, you adore them all too much to let them go.

includes : mikey, baji & kazutora. the boys all have crushes on each other n i wont apologize for it. reader gets called a bitch by unnamed valhalla member ; kazutora ends up hitting him. au where kazu got the help he needed earlier on <3

song inspo ; sweet lies by exo

if you have a blank blog [no bio, no user, no header or profile pic, nothing reblogged, etc] do not interact with my content. you will be blocked.

Knowing Baji Keisuke was strange, to say the least. You knew he was your classmate — a firecracker of a boy hidden behind thick glasses. And that was it. Baji Keisuke was a mystery — but he had a staring problem, you found out.

Tilting your head so that you could see him from your periphrial vision, you could tell he was turned towards you — again. He never spoke to you, he just stared in your direction numbly. Today, it seemed, was your last straw. "Baji, do you have a problem with me?"

The brunette boy tensed, cheeks flushing as you faced him head on. He let out a mumbled, "tryin' to see somethin'", before stiffly turning to hunch over his desk once more. You left it at that, continuing the silent studying your teacher had assigned.

"Y/N." Baji called out to you once the lunch bell rang. Curiously, you stayed put as he shuffled to stand in front of you. Fidgeting with his glasses, the boy set his gaze on you, seemingly more confident than before. "My friend, Mikey... you'd be good for him, I think."

Oh, so that's what his deal was, your shoulders slumped in relief. He just wants to set me up with his friend. Nodding slowly to let the information sink in, your ripped a piece of paper out of your notebook. Scribbling down your phone number, you handed it to Baji almost shyly. "Tell me when and where, and I'll meet him. 'Kay?"

—— ♥︎ ——

Meeting Sano Manjiro — who insisted you call him Mikey — was a rollercoaster, to say the least. The blond had crumbs on his cheek and his mouth was stuffed with what was supposed to be a present for you. He swallowed dryly, eyes widening ever so slightly at the sight of you walking beside Baji. Clearing his throat, Mikey spoke up. "The cookie was really good, if you were wondering."

"I can tell," you spoke through a laugh. You couldn't help but grin at the funny and bizzare situation. Shuffling into the empty booth across from Mikey, you made room as Baji slid in beside you. The sight of the two of you together brought something warm to the blond's chest — he suddenly found it hard to focus on anything other than the knock of Baji's knee against his and the slight brush of your shoe. "Did you order yet?"

His mind was blank, completely empty other than the slight touches you and Baji accidentally gave him. You frowned at Mikey's silence, meeting Baji's gaze across the menu you were looking at. The brunette shrugged, nudging Mikey's foot under the table — the blond only sighed. Baji decided to speak up, "Mikey? Hello?"

"Don't like lemons," the boy murmured out. You snorted at that — facing the menu again when Mikey's face flamed up a little. "I mean— what did you ask again?"

Baji rolled his eyes at his friend — he knew Mikey would be starstruck at your presence, but this was a bit much. Little did Baji know that he was crowding Mikey's mind as well. "I'll just order for everyone. Be right back."

Silence hit the table as Baji left, Mikey refusing to meet your eyes when you tried to look his way. Picking at your cuticles, you could only hope this was going well — that Mikey would like you enough and that would stop Baji's stares. They were unnerving and flattering simultaniously and you weren't sure how that worked.

"How do you know Baji anyways?" Mikey is the one to break the tense atmosphere. You bit your lip, not noticing how his gaze dropped to your lips and stayed there. "He said you went to school with him."

"Yeah, we're classmates." You find yourself looking for Baji, smiling as you watched him squint at the menu as he ordered. He turned abruptly, sending a thumbs up your way. You awkwardly waved back before turning your attention to Mikey again. "He's different in school. The way he acts and looks."

Mikey laughed at that, looking down at the table as he grinned. "He's rowdy is what he is."

"I'm sure he says the same thing about you," you can't help but grin back.

The blond looks at Baji before his grin turns mischievous, curling up further on one side. Leaning in closer so that he was almost laying across the table, Mikey whispers loudly. "Has he told you his nickname yet? It's Edward."

"Like from that vampire movie?" Mikey let out another bark-like laugh, throwing his head back just as Baji joined them at the table again. The brunette raised an eyebrow as he distributed the treats, but you only smiled innocently. "Welcome back, Eddie."

Letting out a groan, Baji plops down into his seat beside you. He has a frown on his face as he narrows his eyes at Mikey. Sliding his drink closer, the brunette grumbles, "shouldn't have left you two alone."

You let out a small giggle, nudging your shoulder against his playfully. Mikey's eyes sparkle again at the interaction and the way Baji smiles down at the table after. Yeah, he lets out a dreamy sigh, could get used to this.

——

Nothing official happened that day. You and Mikey went out a few more times and more often than not, Baji was joining you. It wasn't awkward — he wasn't a third wheel at all — but more like an add on. Dates felt empty without both of the boys and you stopped thinking about why that was.

"Try this one." A spoon full of pink ice cream was in front of your face. Baji was watching you intensely as you ate the ice cream, eyes lighting up and humming in delight at the sweet taste. The brunette grins, "mixed berry paradise or somethin' like that. Good?"

"Really good!" You cheer. A head of blond hair swoops past you as Baji reloads his spoon. You let out a snort as Mikey takes the bite Baji got for himself. You spoon up some of your own frozen treat, "anyone want to try mine?"

Mikey is the first one to steal a bite, eyes closing in satisfaction at the sweetness. After seeing Baji's defeated frown, you gather up more ice cream for him to try, too. They both hum at the flavor and you cant hide your smile as you grab another bite for yourself.

"Indirect kiss..." is muttered from beside you. Mikey is staring at his spoon blankly before he looks at yours, then Baji's. "We just had... an indirect kiss..."

You and Baji exchange glances, wondering why that mattered so much. Friends share drinks and food all the time, right? Before you could think any further, lips are pressed against yours quickly and gone just as quick. With widened eyes, you don't even acknowledge Mikey turning your head so you were facing Baji now. Taking the hint, Baji presses a small kiss to your lips, too.

And it seems that they like that — kissing you one after the other — because they do it again. And again — every time you meet up, kisses are pressed to your cheeks and head and lips. Other forms of pda become a regular thing between the three of you, too.

—— ♥︎ ——

You're sat in the classroom with Baji, intertwined hands dangling between your desks. You're finishing up homework as he struggles to write a letter, asking how to spell something every now and then.

"This sound right?" The hand that's being held is tugged on, diverting your attention to the brunette beside you. Reading over what he wrote, you take your sparkly gel pen and cross out the incorrect words, writing the correct one above it. It's what you'd been doing for weeks now — you thought Baji just re-wrote the letter when he got home. "Oh. Yeah, that does make more sense."

Little did you know, Baji sent those letters as they were. Weekly, his friend had recieved a letter with your handwriting and his. It made him feel warm — made a spark of joy climb up his chest. You were told about this from a nervous Baji — his teeth made home in his bottom lip as he chewed them constantly.

"Keisuke," you nudge him with your shoulder, "everything alright?"

The brunette lets out a groan from beside you, his head falling against the foot of your bed. He was at your house to study and you were both sitting on the floor when you noticed his uncomfortable expression. "I want you to go somewhere with me. But, Mikey— I don't think it'd be okay to tell him. He'd get upset."

You lay a hand on his shoulder reassuringly, "then we don't have to tell him just yet."

—— ♥︎ ——

Seeing Hanemiya Kazutora for the first time was nerve-wracking, to say the least. The dual-haired boy tilts his head as he stares at you from behind the glass shield. Your hands are hidden, but one is wrapped around Baji's while the other is rubbing the bottom of your shirt.

"You don't have to stare," Baji grumbles, eyes narrowed Kazutora's way. "Y/N's pretty n'all, but cut it out."

You feel your face flush at the compliment, a smile automatically falling on your lips. Kazutora's eyes narrow in on your smile, copying the notion stiffly. He glances at Baji before looking to you again, "this is the sparkly pen? Yours and Mikey's—?"

"We're not really anything." You realize how it sounds when both boys frown. "I mean, officially. We go on dates or just hang out or—"

"I kiss Y/N then Y/N kisses Mikey... or the opposite."

Your mouth falls open in shock as your free hand lightly smacks Baji on the shoulder. The boy lets out a loud laugh, head thrown back as he cackles. You glance at Kazutora nervously, gulping at his stare. "You just made it sound so much worse!"

Weekly visits to see Kazutora became part of your schedule after that. Most times, Baji joined with letters or trinkets from his other friends. Mikey had finally been told the big secret and everything that was happening. The blond smiled and told you only one thing — "I hope he gets better."

[Kazutora cried when you told him that, but he'd deny the tears.]

During one of your solo visits, an unfamiliar blond and brunette duo took your place in front of the glass shield. Kazutora looked distressed, his eyes foggy and disconnected from reality. You couldn't hear what they were saying, but you knew it was bad — really bad. You left soon after, telling Baji what you'd seen.

That was how Hanma Shuji and Kisaki Tetta were introduced into your world.

Keisuke told you they were lingering by — stirring up Kazutora's dark thoughts and tearing down everything he learned in therapy. The both of you kept a close eye since then, your intuation telling you something big was going to happen and you'd be trapped in the middle.

—— ♥︎ ——

The birth of Valhalla didn't shock you the way it did everyone else. What you didn't expect, however, was Kisaki Tetta. He was sitting proudly, back turned to Mikey as he was announced to be a new part of Toman. You frowned, looking at Draken for confirmation — he only shrugged. It wasn't like the others could tell their commander no, after all. Baji was supposed to miss this meeting, so why did you see him stomping your way?

"I'll be joining Valhalla!"

This was news to you. Looking at Mikey with wide eyes, you could see the miniscule change in his face. The blond was confused, and heartbroken, but he'd keep it hidden until it was just the two of you. Watching Baji walk away hurt, but seeing Mikey silently break hurt even more. You knew where you were needed — knew Kei would tell you what's going on later.

Draken dismissed the meeting, leaving Mikey frozen in his spot as the rest of Toman left. Kisaki eyed you as he left and you shot a seething glare his way. The blond sat on the steps of the shrine, eyes staring blankly ahead. You stood in front of him, "everything alright, 'Jiro?"

Mikey hums, leaning closer to you. Silently, you comply letting his knees separate your legs so he could rest his head on your stomach. Running your fingers through his blond locks lightly, you think of what to say to reassure him. Mikey beats you to it, though, speaking up before you can. "Is this the end of it, then? The end of this — us?"

"No," you plant a kiss on his head. Grabbing his chin gently, you tilt Mikey's head up so you can kiss his pouting lips. "Trust Keisuke — trust me, okay? Everything will be fine."

——

A week later, you've just finished running errands when you see him. A grin breaks across your face as you speed up, your body colliding into Kazutora's as you both stumble. Clumsily, your arms wrap around his torso — you speak up when he makes a noise of protest. "Knew you were getting out soon, but not today!"

"Y/N," he breathes. You're grinning at him, still holding him tightly — Kazutora can't remember the last time someone was this happy to see him. Trembling hands found your shoulders, pulling you closer to him stiffly. "I— yeah. Got out yesterday. Kei didn't tell you that?"

You pull away so you can see his face with an exaggerated frown. "I've been grounded from his house. His mom said 'I do love seeing you around, sweetheart, but he's gotta get his grades up. Sending you all my love!' when I called the other day."

Kazutora lets out a breathy laugh, shaking his head. "Yeah, sounds like him." He peers at you curiously, his hands sliding from your shoulders to your hips. "And what're you doin' out and about, hm? Scary around here when someone pretty's all by themselves."

"Not alone — I'm with you," you reply without thinking. Kazutora sinks into you, pressing his forehead to the top of your head so that you can't see his blushing face. "Just got something to snack on, though."

"So, you're free now?" He pulls away to ask. You nod with a small mhm, wondering why he was asking. "Wanna go somewhere with me?"

That's how you end up in an abandoned arcade, people in white jackets eyeing you curiously. Whistles and jeers echo around you, burning into your skin with the eyes that follow your form. Kazutora has his hand wrapped in yours as he guides you deeper into Valhalla's hideout. Leaning to your ear, he whispers, "stay put, I'll be right back."

You clear your throat as you shuffle uncomfortably. You were in the enemy's territory now — completely vulnerable in the wolves den. A smirking, cheap looking guy waltzes his way up to you. He makes a show of checking you out before he speaks. "Oh? What's Toman's bitch doing here?"

"I'm—" you take a breath harshly as he comes closer. Backing away and squaring your shoulders, you meet his sultry gaze head on. "I'm not a member of Toman."

His grin widens at that as he inches closer. Need Manjiro, you think. Need Baji or Kazutora — need my boys before I bash this guys head in. Tilting his head, he looks you up and down once more. "So you're ours for the taking? You gonna be Valhalla's new play thing?"

His head is snapped to the left as a fist crunches into his nose. Golden eyes look crazed — murderous — as Kazutora places himself between you and the guy. Kazutora grins, and it's nothing like how he smiles at you — it's harsh ; sharp as he glares at his gang member. "Wanna repeat that?"

"Don't have too much fun without me," you hear Keisuke's voice. Warmth is pressed against your back as he slumps into you, his chest vibrating against you as he laughs. An arm is slung around your waist, a reassuring squeeze meeting your right hip. "Guy's got some nerve callin' our special friend a bitch."

You calm down quickly at the sight of them. Though, one word catches your attention and you swat Baji's arm lightly with a scowl. "Not your 'special friend', Kei. Sounds weird when you say stuff like that."

"Sorry," he says before placing a kiss on your head. He's not, though, if the grin you can feel against your temple says anything. Kazutora swings a few more times, the guy on the ground now choking on the blood that's escaped his busted lip. "Alright, 'tora. Let's show Y/N around, hm? Not spend time on worthless fleas."

Kazutora straightens up, breathing heavily as he stares at the ground. Silently, Baji takes one of Kazutora's hands in his and begins to lead you both away from the quivering, half-conscious body. The three of you find a place of solitude in the arcade, circling around each other for a blanket of safety. You eye the way Baji keeps his hand locked in Kazutora's until the developing bruises catch your gaze.

You reach out before thinking, you grasp the dual-haired boy's free hand in both of yours. A frown settles on your face — one that Baji admires and Kazutora gets the urge to kiss away. Delicately, you run your thumb over his knuckles, letting out a sigh. "Sorry 'bout your hand, 'tora. Didn't mean for you to get hurt."

"S'okay," he whispers. Kazutora is melting, his brain zapping and filling with thoughts of you he can't control. A glance at Baji tells him this might be okay — that he wasn't a terrible, awful friend for his wandering gaze. "Don't mind a bruise or two if it means you're safe."

—— ♥︎ ——

Mikey doesn't know what this means, but he hopes it's something good. You gave him a kiss before the big Toman versus Valhalla fight, squeezing his hand in comfort. Before you took a seat amongst the other viewers, you reminded Mikey — "trust them."

The blond could only hope that meant Baji would come back home soon — that you'd both come back to him safely.

You're sitting in front of the Haitani brothers, chewing on your bottom lip nervously. You don't allow your eyes to drift from the fight for even a second — you have to stare ; have to be certain one of your boys aren't hurt. There's a yell from Mikey as you see Kisaki hop his way to the fallen leader heroically. You roll your eyes at the sight, letting out quiet insults and curses that have the brothers behind you laughing.

The world goes still. Then, suddenly, two Valhalla members are swinging at Kisaki. With matching feral grins, Kazutora and Baji stare down at the injured blond. You let out a sigh of relief — they're safe ; everyone's safe. You straighten up at the sight of Mikey standing on shaky legs, his body bloody and already forming bruises. Baji's yelling is incomprehensive, but you assume he's telling Mikey his plan.

Confusion filters over the blond's face before he glances at Kazutora. That's all you remember before seeing Mikey pounce on Kisaki. The rest of the day is a blur, and nothing feels real until you're in the middle of the junkyard. Baji has an arm around your waist as he stands on your left, Mikey to your right. A dual-haired boy is standing in front of you nervously.

"I owe you an apology, and an explanation." Kazutora gulps down the fear of rejection as Mikey's dark eyes survey him. He takes in a deep breath, confidence building up in him as you and Baji encourage him silently. "About that night — your brother. I—"

"Later," the blond interupts him with a smile. It's a tired, battered smile, but it reassures him still. Wrapping an arm around your shoulders, Mikey leans against you in a sleepy haze. "Wanna go home right now. Sleepy."

A kiss is placed on your left cheek, trailing to the corner of your mouth as Baji loses interest in the conversation before him. Mikey lets out a whine, pecking your neck before he's grasping your chin and turning you to face him. Kazutora shuffles nervously at the sight, wanting nothing more than to copy their actions.

And then you're facing him, Mikey's hand still on your chin as he and Baji wait for the tiger to make a move. A brisk, barely-there peck is left on your mouth. It makes the brunette snort and Mikey grin before he's turning to leave.

Mikey looks back and tilts his head at Kazutora. "You comin' with us or what?"

—— ♥︎ —— this got longer than i intended for it to lmao oops but, thank you for your request, i hope it was everything you wanted <3 this is still going on! until november first ♥︎

airbendertendou © do not copy, plagiarize, repost, or translate my content on any platform. if you see my content under any other name than my own, let me know. i only have this tumblr and an ao3 account under the same name.

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starchild--27 · 3 months

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Here's A Little Get-To-Know-You Tag Game!

Tagged by: @flaredpantsagenda thank you Mon!! it's been ages since i last did one of these ^-^

Name(s): Selma, Selmi, starchild - whatever you want to call me is fine ^-^ (i have no cool internet name besides 'starchild', maybe i should make one up 🤔)

Pronouns: she/her, but i am fine with any :D

Star Sign: taurus

# Of Siblings & Fun Facts About Them (if you have any): one younger sister who is the best person i know and who -sometimes- people think is my twin? 90% of the people don't see it, but these other 10% keep popping up... (that was the fun fact btw)

# Of Pets: one cat who lives with my parents. he is my son.

Fandoms: i'm most actively involved in my kpop bubble rn (EXO, Stray Kids, aespa mostly atm). also, if you scroll through my blog for 3 seconds, you will see a lot of Good Omens as well. but there are a lot of fandoms i am occasionally or have been very involved in. i still consider myself part of the Percy Jackson fandom (tho i haven't seen the new series yet 🙈), i love Star Wars, Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter (in the JKR loathing and practicing a critical gaze kind of way), i love the neil gaiman universes, i loved the Grishaverse books, my favorite manga is The Case Study of Vanitas and so on and so on... i've been into a lot of things and still feel like i missed out on so many cool other fandoms xD

Favorite Color: blue 🌠

Favorite Song: if i was asked this at gun point, i would be dead- (sorry, i have a hard time picking favourites anyway, and for that one i gave up trying long ago)

Favorite Author: again. there is no way i can pick a favourite. lol sorry for being boring like that but it is what it is. the author i read the most books of might be Haruki Murakami but i wouldn't say i prefer him for any particular reason, i love other writers and their stories just the same amount and for entirely different reasons.

Hobbies: making up stories, chatting with friends, hanging out in tumblr, making music, reading (i wish i did it more again these days..)

Favorite Holiday: 🎃👻

Do You Have Any Partner(s)?: in crime? sure, my besties and group of friends. romantic? nope. (and i am overthinking that)

Fun facts about you/anything extra you wanna share!: i've been into crocheting lately. and made my sister a clown opossum for christmas, which i finished 7pm on christmas eve (bc ofc it was a last minute idea). the most parts i did while binge-watching broadchurch. twice. pro tip: have better time management than i do. xD

Tagging: @vampwrrr @soft-jihoonie @dontbotheraziraphale @groovystrangerree and every mutual and non-mutual who want to do this ^~^

#tag game #i've been thinking #maybe i should make 'salem' my fake internet name 🤔#it's an anagram of my actual name it's witchy it's gender neutral / ambiguous it is sort of perfect actually-

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lucyandthepen · 9 months

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before checking my masterlist, perusing my works, or sending in a message, please read this!

— my name is lucy, 25+, and i'm currently studying for my second master's degree in creative writing.

— i mostly write for nct (specifically dream, but 127 too!), but i will soon expand my masterlist for txt and other groups.

— my nct biases are mark and jaemin! other groups i like but do not write for are red velvet, exo, itzy, sf9, newjeans, seventeen, and stray kids.

— i've recently been getting into anime shows and trying to read more manhwas! if you like either or both of these things, please send some recommendations my way!

— post divider is by @cafekitsune!

— as far as rules go, please adhere by the following:

if you are a minor, do not interact with explicit content. they are marked on my masterlist as *, and i can't track who looks at what or how old anyone is. i trust that those who are younger than 18 (international age) will be responsible for themselves and avoid content unsuitable for them.

before sending in a request, please be sure to check if i am open or not! i often don't take requests because i usually write slowly and take ages to get through my queue, but i occasionally will open requests for practice.

if you plan on sending in an anonymous message, please follow the basic rules of human respect. i never reply rudely to people who talk nicely, so i ask that you uphold the inherent agreement of any conversation and be courteous. otherwise, i will also not hold my words. if you are overtly demanding with your requests (asking about updates is fine as long as the message isn't instructing me to update faster!) or seek to attack my person or my writing, i will not hold back. i don't like negativity on my blog; i started it and only keep it going because writing fills my time, so i won't mince my words if someone decides to disrupt my peace.

my writing is for my own sake; while i love talking about it with other people, and i am so appreciative of those that take the time out to send kind messages or even just reblog and like, i don't write simply to please others. if you don't like what i like or how i write, please take note: i don't care. this is my blog, and i'll do what i want on it. i don't care if you don't like reader fanfiction (why are you here) or if you don't like my prose (again, why are you here). i'm aware that my writing here is self-indulgent, and that's how it always is going to be, because frankly, it makes me happy to write something that isn't poetic or that undergoes 100 drafts for the sake of perfection. i'll write as trashily or as messily as i want, and that's what this blog is for. but i actually don't have to explain that to anyone with anything negative to say. simply, i don't care about your destructive opinion.

please do not plagiarize, remix, or translate my work. i will go to great lengths to take down any copies of my work i didn't authorize, so let's save each other the headache and respect these boundaries!

thanks for reading this far! i hope you enjoy my work as much as i enjoyed writing them. :)

#lucy.exe

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spookyserenades · 1 month

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Omg I can’t wait for next week, I have spring break!! I can’t wait to re read the last chapter and then go over everything! Sorry Ik I keep forgetting when I say I’ll finish my reviews for some of the members :,( I hate exams but I’m half way through! Your blog is like my favorite corner on tumblr it’s so warm and cozy 🥹 I come over here when I procrastinate, lol like rn.

Anyways since I got a 5 min break before I have to study again I wanted to ask, how did you get introduced to bts?

YAYYY spring break!! Lots of time to get rest and catch up on reading, shows, and with friends 💕 Also don't apologize, love-- school totally takes priority over Trouvaille fjdksaf 💜

Proud of you for making it half way through your exams, you're killing it! Make sure to stay hydrated and have snacks when you can.

STOPPP 🥺 I'm so glad my blog is a cozy space for you, I feel the same way! I get all of you lovely people to talk to, share the Trouvaille boys, and laugh together 🥺 (don't worry, also, I was a HUGE procrastinator in college)

OOOO BTS stanning origin story let's go! So in high school I got a rec on my Youtube homepage for a music video, it was "Call me Baby" by EXO. I watched it and proceeded to tell everyone I knew about it 💀 Like I was shook,,, they were so hot, the song was a fucking banger, and I was a dancer at the time so I was into that element as well. Not to mention I've always been a boyband kinda gal. SO like flash forward a couple years I met this girl in college and she was talking about Kpop and I was like oh yeah I've heard of EXO.... it exploded from there. I ended up being better friends with that girl's roommate, and we spiraled into a total obsession with EXO, which lead to BTS (first mv I saw was Boy in Luv lol), then Got7, Seventeen, NCT, Monsta X............. Shinee, etc. Basically, if it was a boy group, we were into them! I've been a multi-stan for 7 years now, originally had an EXO/BTS/Got7 blog, until I decided to start focusing strictly on BTS writing two years ago.

My original bias was Jimin, but then it changed to Namjoon (aggressively, especially after listening to his first mixtape) and I was majorly bias wrecked by Hoseok. It's basically turned into Namjoon ult, but I also bias Hoseok, Yoongi, and Seokjin! Ta-da!

Love to you and good luck on your exams babe!

#asks #dana's thoughts

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neo-neos · 1 year

Text

My BL journey so far

Okay kids gather round, get comfortable. This is a long one.

Disclaimer/background info: I started watching BL about a month ago-ish. I don't remember the exact date but I believe I started last month or maybe the end of the month before. So I am still a bit of a noob and trying to catch up with watching things. I am also a very chaotic person which you will probably find out by the way this is structured/written. Lastly, even though I do study/teach English for a living, it is not my first language.

Okay with that out of the way, let's dive in.

Backstory/introduction

Like any good story I feel like a bit of backstory/intro might be a good idea. Hi, on the internet I mostly go by the nickname Peach, however I created this blog when I got into BL and have adopted yet another fruit as a new nickname for this side of my personality/identity which is Lychee. I don't really mind which one you use. I'm 24 years old and I am Dutch (the Netherlands). As mentioned in the disclaimer I teach English but I am also still a student, I plan on studying more after this because I love learning new things and especially about languages and cultures. I am part of the LGBTQ+ community myself and mostly identify as Bisexual or Pansexual. I use she/her pronouns. When I was about... 13-14 ish I rolled into the K-pop fandom. I used to listen to bands like SHINee, Super Junior, EXO, BAP, Infinite, Girls Generation, 2ne1, Block B... I was a real fangirl if you ask me HAHA. In this time I also watched a Kdrama or two here and there. Favorites being: Heartstrings and Shut up flower boy band. (I was never too into Kdrama back then). I also used Tumblr back then, I have a literal 12 year old tumblr account with almost 50K posts that I used during my K-pop times. I stopped using tumblr quite a while ago too but that blog is still there. I would reblog gifs and pics and what not about my biases and ships. But as interests do sometimes, it faded into the background and I fully stopped keeping up and listening to K-pop. It has literally been 10 years now.

But then...

One random afternoon I was bored at home and wanted to watch something new. I randomly realized Kdramas existed and so my journey to find one began. I stumbled upon Semantic Error and almost by accident decided to read the little description and the tags that were with it. My eyebrows furrowed for a minute before I could feel my eyes widen: "WAIT THE TWO BOYS... IT'S... GAY???" I could almost not believe what I saw. Obviously back in my K-pop times every band had ships and pairings you fangirled over, Baekyeol or ChanBaek, 2Min, JongKey... You know what I mean...You fangirled over every random moment they were together but that was as far as that went. So you could maybe imagine my excitement when I realized that Korea has come far enough to actually make BL shows now. So without further thoughts I watched Semantic Error. And because it was the first BL I saw I fell in love with it, the story was good, the acting was good, the fluff was to die for. An all round great experience to start off with.

Little did I know...

After this experience I was obviously hungry for more. So, I turned to the internet to tell me where they had been hiding this secret stash of everything I ever wanted in Kdrama... And boy was I surprised with the results. This was the moment I found out that not only Korea but also Japan, Thailand, Taiwan and China made BL shows... And not just 1 or 2... The choices were endless. My journey continued with (either... I kinda forgor...) Don't say no and Love by Chance. This was my first experience with NC scenes too. I had no idea that Thailand already took the step to also go into a little more 18+ when it comes to BL and to be fair... I was kind of excited about it. Now that I have seen more BLs I guess you could argue that neither Don't say no and Love by Chance are the best BLs ever made but at the time I was completely hooked on them.

And so began...

An insane marathon sprint. By this time I wanted more more more and that's what I consumed. I watched some more Kbl, some Japanese BL and some more Thai BL's as well. Until I hit KinnPorsche and that's when I realized how hooked I actually was on this new comfort genre I had just discovered. KinnPorsche allowed me to put the shows I had watched for far into perspective. Most BLs have the university students falling in love drama vibe... KinnPorsche was something completely different and boy did I fall in love, and hard too. This show quite honestly changed a lot of things for me. I went from 'I'm just casually watching these shows' to 'Oh I might be a little obsessed now' and after finishing KP I realized I wanted even more and I could no longer deny that I was becoming a part of the BL fandom.

So where we are now...

In the past month I have spent every free second of my day watching shows. Binging one after the other. I was lucky to have a week off during this time too and I have managed to COMPLETE 32 BLs between then and now. 5 currently watching shows I try and keep up with and a TO WATCH list of 40+ shows. (aka: obsessed much?)

In the meantime I have made a BL twitter and a BL tumblr (this one) to find out more about the BLs I watched or am watching currently, but also to keep up with new ones coming out. I have realized that because of how badly I want to keep up with things I SUCK at remembering names. If the show did not leave a big impression on me I can also easily forget the whole storyline of some. This in addition to people talking about ship names but also IRL ship names using actors real names makes it quite hard to keep up sometimes.

The community...

I also made these accounts in the hopes to interact with the community. This part has been quite a challenge for me. I have never been the most extraverted person (both irl and online) but I am one of those people that is almost desperate to make friends (that sounds a bit sad but hear me out.) I love talking to people (< but you said you're introvert.. I know again, hear me out) but I have absolutely no idea how to behave in order to make friends. I am often too shy to interact with people so I just kind of pull myself back and hope someone reaches out first. As soon as they do there's a good chance I will latch onto them without mercy. I have realized that I am afraid I do not fit in sometimes within this community (mostly on twitter to be honest) I see a lot of very knowledgeable people when it comes to BL shows and I am too afraid to interact. Here on tumblr and twitter I also (after literally 10 years) realize how talented people are when it comes to making gifs, edits and translations. Something I did not really think much about when I was using Tumblr 10 years ago. I have so much admiration for what people make but at the same time I feel like being a cheerleader from the sidelines by reblogging/retweeting I cannot match up to them too. Now I am obviously very new to BL and the community and I have actually met some lovely people already. I guess I just want too much too fast haha!

BL as a whole... (Disclaimer: The things I talk about are not just directed at BL alone, the issues I list are VERY MUCH also alive in Hetero shows and I would like to see change there too. But to keep on the topic of BL I list them here with my reasoning)

Realizing how far these countries have come when it comes to even making shows about LGBTQ+ is an awesome thing to see. Like I said before I come from the time where all I could really do is ship two band members together and fangirl over them sitting next to each other basically. I am part of the LGBTQ+ community myself and I live in a country is supposed to be very accepting so it is nice to see the steps different cultures are taking as well. However I do feel we are not there yet in the way they portray things. Consent (this is obviously not only a BL problem) has been a bit of an issue for me in some shows. Power dynamics - My main issue show for this one was Cutie Pie (not very sure how to elaborate further) NC scenes - Still being quite unrealistic sometimes, you really cannot tell me that bottoming is something you do without preparation of any sort. Only gay for xxx -> Straight but gay for this one man is not exactly how sexuality works. I feel like it might kind of give off the wrong idea as well. I do see that some of these trends are turning to the right direction (Between Us being a good example for consent for example)

Now I obviously know that these are fictional stories so please don't come for my throat over this. I am just listing a few things I have noticed in my journey.

The shows...

Now I would like to use this last little section here to mention and give my thoughts (positive and negative) about some shows I have seen. Let's start with the good shall we.

KinnPorsche -> I have mentioned this show before but I would like to do it again. I fell in love with this show, the actors are amazing, the storyline is great, the chemistry between the couples, the diversity in the storyline, the humor, the serious moments... It has so much and the casting they did for this show is a legit 10/10 Apo is such an amazing actor, Mile is his perfect match for the role and don't even get me started on the rest of the cast I would probably pull up an entire powerpoint presentation.

Life-Love on the line -> Is a Japanese BL that I related to quite a lot. The entire story of how two boys fall in love and grow up together, one becoming more serious while the other stays quite 'childlike' hit me right in the feels (I don't want to spoil things) It was such a beautiful story to be fair.

Semantic Error -> My first BL and what a great start to have to be honest. Need I say more?

Bad Buddy -> I loved this one because of the storyline and the awesome chemistry between the characters. It showed an amazing story of how sometimes you need to put your prejudice thoughts aside to find something beautiful.

Blueming -> The way this story unfolds made me fall even deeper in love with Kbls to be honest. The way this was filmed was just so beautiful.

Roommates of Poongduck -> I was a little hesitant in the beginning of this one. The storyline description did not grab my attention and after seeing how KBL is often focused more on the story than on the passionate kisses for instance it took me a moment to get into it. But we have all seen the kissing scene (that they robbed us of to be fair) and the chemistry between the characters had me sobbing while having the biggest grin on my face.

I told sunset about you -> When I got a little deeper into my research the name of this BL kept popping up everywhere and it obviously got me curious. Boy oh boy this was such a beautiful story I cannot even begin to explain. The exploration of sexuality, gender, love and friendship in this one... Ugh ugh ugh.

Not me -> A masterpiece. The themes, the storyline. They touch upon heavy topics while also maintaining an entertaining series. It's so good.

Love in the air -> Okay so, MOST of the shows above have a lot of deeper messages or storylines and love in the air might feel out of place. WRONG. Sky's storyline shows quite a bit of deeper meaning and I think it was done really well. The other part of why I like this show is because of the actors. They really did such an amazing job with this one and I cannot wait to see more of them.

ChocoMilkShake -> (up until last ep) this was my comfort show. I kind of ignored the dark side of them leaving and just focused on all the cute stuff but I just love it. They better give me a happy ending though!

Between Us -> I have seen UWMA and I must say that although the story was very very beautiful and touching and heavy... I did not vibe with the insane drama as much as I would have hoped. I did however enjoy the WinTeam moments quite a bit. And then BOOM Between Us happened and I am having a blast with this one. Consent being a big plus. The storyline is good, there has not been (knock on wood) unnecessary drama (I was afraid this would happen with the overhearing half a conversation thing they were giving us but I am SO happy to see it was done in a mature way). I love it.

And now for some shows I would like to give a tiny piece of my mind. DISCLAIMER: These are opinions you can ignore, I am not shitting on actors whatsoever, this is mostly targeted towards writing/storyline. THE ACTORS DID NOTHING WRONG!! I am okay with people asking questions about it though (: I also do not JUST shit on the shows I talk about here, I point out some things and also say what I DID like about it

Lovely writer -> This show holds a scene that I find THE MOST frustrating one I have seen so far. "Let me explain" -Silence- "I can explain" -Silence- "Wait don't leave" -Silence-.... If you have seen the show you probably know what I'm referring to. This is what I mean with unnecessary drama. Characters being angry at each other for longer than needed or for a reason that does not make sense. The rest of the show was okay. I don't hate the show but it frustrated me more than that I enjoyed it.

Big Dragon -> The first episode had me screaming. The NC scene, the open kink representation on this one made me so excited. It felt like the next step towards representation for kinks within the genre... And then that slowly died off. The scene where Yai is with the girl that (I suppose) normally helps him with his kink and then the bathroom scene where Mangkorn orders Yai around were 10/10 too but then it was gone and we were back to quite the normal BL plotline again which I found very sad. In the later episodes I also missed the chemistry between Yai and Mangkorn. I fucking LOVE MosBank together like... They are legit amazing actors and I would love to see them again in something different. I am just a little disappointed in the storyline progression.

Cutie pie -> The power dynamic in this show was not really my style. The controlling BF type deal was a bit hard to watch at times. and I KNOW that this entire show is about breaking free of that but the fact that there it is needed in the first place and the lying and secrets.. it was all a bit much for me. However the casting was really good. The chemistry between the characters/actors is awesome and everyone played their role really well!

To my star -> NOW BEFORE YOU BEHEAD ME, HEAR ME OUT. I love this show. I actually love this show. It is really good. But there are some small things that made me frustrated sometimes. Talking about feelings is hard and I do get that 110% but it sometimes felt quite frustrating and left me with a little bit of a bad feeling. I really hope that this show teaches people that you can only really move forward by talking about your feelings instead of running away from them.

Together with me -> The controlling, dramatic, witch female role. Now again, hear me out. The show is great! The chemistry is there, the acting is 10/10 the casting is 10/10 but it has an element I would like to discuss that I have seen in multiple BLs as well. Now I get that the girl is mad, right. Her BF literally cheats on her (shame on u) but the entire master plan the girls come up with like... damn girls... That's all I really have to say about it. Not all women become murderous, petty witches.

TharnType -> From homophobic to being almost assaulted into a gay relationship. Again casting 10/10, chemistry 10/10. But I see this storyline quite a bit too in deluded forms. Consent is a BIG issue in this show for me. Then there is the "I am only okay with this gay guy" idea too that just kinda made me pull some faces at my screen at times.

If you have made it this far... I'm so sorry?

As for now, I think I have written enough about my BL journey so far, if you DID actually read this far and have any questions about it, feel free to ask. I am willing to discuss anything and everything as long as we respect each others views (:

This post is also an invitation to whoever wants to connect. I really do love making friends and my DMs (here and on twitter or if you want to connect on a different platform let me know) are always open. You can literally go in there without context and go: GIIIIRL LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT... and I will reply as if we've been besties for years I really do not mind skipping the awkward first stages of interaction.

My DMs (+replies) are also open for:

Show recs (dm me your fav show and a little description on why it's your fav show and why I should love it too!)

Questions regarding this post or me personally

FanFic recs (If you have written something pls show it to me I love to read!

Seeing my watched list, currently watching list or to watch list for the curious cats (: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Thank you so much for reading and for now I cannot wait to see what the BL community has in store for me ♥

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dreamylittlesugarcube · 2 years

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Blown Away

Genre: EXO AU, Kyungsoo Fluff

Characters: You x Kyungsoo

Warnings: None

Word Count: 474

Summary: Kyungsoo wishes on a dandelion, hoping he’ll one day have the courage to confess to you.

A/N: This was a Kyungsoo drabble request that I received and I just think it is so darn cute!

~*~

Kyungsoo isn’t one for superstitions–or fields of weeds for that matter. To him, dandelions are simply a yellow hindrance to a well-manicured garden or on rare occasions, a bitter component to a delicious salad. Kyungsoo wonders how he managed to end up here, though he doesn’t have to think too hard.

It’s you, of course.

Kyungsoo twirls a flower stem between his fingers, watching you from a distance. He admires your silhouette against the twilight hues, the way the wind gently lifts the strands of your hair. You’d been best friends for a long time; but for him, the glow of friendship had long since given way to the flame of love.

He pictures himself walking up behind you, gently taking your hand in his own. The two of you would slowly walk together for hours, merely basking in the company. As the rays of sunset faded, he’d pull you close and whisper tender words of love in your ear–a perfect dream.

But that was all it was–a dream. He’d never gotten up the nerve to tell you his feelings.

“Kyungsoo, come look!”, you call, motioning him over.

Coming to a stop beside you, Kyungsoo peers at the area you were pointing to, seeing nothing out of the ordinary.

“There’s dandelion puffs!”, you exclaim.

“And?”

Kyungsoo didn’t understand the appeal of a weed, let alone one poised to disperse its seeds and wreak havoc on gardeners everywhere.

“Kyungsoo, you really have no imagination,” you huff. “Here!”

You hold out a perfect dandelion puff and wait for him to take it.

Kyungsoo takes the flower carefully from your hand, sucking in a silent breath when your fingers touch. Holding the puff delicately in his grasp, he wonders what to do with it.

“You’re supposed to blow on it,” you supply.

“Why?”

“Because your wish will be granted–watch!”

You harvest your own puff ball, holding it in both hands like something precious. You close your eyes tight, then gently blow on the flower, watching the seeds scatter across the field.

“The seeds are special, you know. They’ll carry your thoughts and dreams to the people they’re meant for.” You smile dreamily at the thought.

Kyungsoo isn’t one for superstitions and he’s sure that an ordinary flower such as this can’t have such mystical powers. Yet, as he studies the pale, soft wisps, he wonders–could they carry his thoughts to you?

“Go on, try it,” you encourage.

Feeling slightly ridiculous, he closes his eyes. Give me the courage to let her know how I feel. Please let her love me as much as I love her. Releasing a breath, he watches as the seedlets spread across the sky, carrying his wish on the wind.

“What did you wish for?”

“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo answers, a secret smile on his face, “but maybe one day I’ll tell you.”

~*~

Thank you so much for reading “Blown Away”! I hope you enjoyed some Kyungsoo fluff. If you liked what you read, please re-blog so that others can find it too!

XOXO,

Emmy

#kyungsoo fic #kyungsoo fanfic #kyungsoo fluff #kyungsoo exo #exo kyungsoo #kyungsoo #do kyungsoo #kyungsoo x reader #kyungsoo x you #exo #exo fanfic #exo fic #exo fiction #exo fluff #kyungsoo x oc

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theboytatu · 1 month

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I love your blog because you talk about exo as if you knew them all in real life but at the same time it's perfectly clear you are not under any parasocial delusions and a lot of the things you say end up being like revelations to me like. holy shit you're right this is 100% what they think/do when they're not doing fanservice

they're like objects of study to me. i have a magnifying glass and the exo ant farm is my playground

#asks

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sophieinwonderland · 1 year

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Hey! Sorry this might be off topic for your blog but is it just us or have we never been able to remember memories in 1st person unless it happened a few minutes ago?? We just wanted to know if this happens to you/anyone at all

There are a lot of conditions that can cause this, especially with systems, though it's not something we experience as much ourselves.

I found an article on third and first person memory that I think might interest you:

Just how common is tricky to quantify. Peggy St. Jacques, a psychology professor at the University of Alberta who studies perspective in memory, told me that roughly 90 percent of people report having at least one third-person memory. For the average person, St. Jacques estimates, on the basis of her research, that about a quarter of memories from the past five years are third-person. (At least a couple of papers have found that women tend to have more third-person memories than men do, but a third study turned up no statistically significant difference; on the whole, research on possible demographic disparities is scant.) In certain rare cases, people may have only third-person memories. As you try to recall your own, be warned that things can get confusing fast. Perhaps you can call to mind early-childhood scenes that you picture from a third-person perspective. But it’s hard to know whether these are genuine memories translated from the first person to the third person, or third-person scenes constructed from stories or photographs. To some people, third-person memories are second nature; to others, they sound like science fiction.

This article also provides an explanation for why the exo-memories of headmates may feel just as real as lived memories experienced by the body.

Traumatic dissociations are dramatic but by no means isolated cases of what Rubin calls the “constructive nature of the world.” In a 2019 review article on memory perspective, St. Jacques noted that shifting your vantage and fabricating an entirely new scene rely on the same mental processes occurring in the same regions of the brain. So similar are recollecting the past and projecting into the future that some psychologists lump them into a single category: “mental time travel.” Both are acts of construction. The distinction between memory and imagination blurs.

#ask box #plural #pluralgang #plurality #multiplicity #endogenic #psychology #science #the atlantic #memory #memories #brains are weird #system #systems #system stuff #plural system #neuroscience #neurology

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celestialseoul · 1 year

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Introduction

Hello! My name is Celestia, but you can call me Celeste! Welcome to my blog! Here's some information about me and what you can expect from this account!

🔮 I am a Pagan practitioner of about 4 years, but before my journey, I've been studying Western Astrology for about 13 years! I've been clairvoyant since I was a child but now am able to help others with this gift! 🔮

🎤 🎶 I am a huge Kpop fan! My very first group was 2ne1, but my ult groups are Stray Kids, BTS, 2ne1 and Seventeen! But outside of Kpop i love other artists such as SZA, Taylor Swift, Madison Beer, etc..🎶 🎤

🌌What you'll see on this account is;🌌

Tarot/Oracle Readings

Natal Chart Readings

Synastry/Composite Readings

Astrology Observations/Analysis

Celebrity Observations

Etc....

‼️DISCLAIMER: These are for entertainment purposes ONLY! I do not know any individuals involved and my readings are do not reflect them as people!‼️

🌙My Divination Tools🌙

Tarot/Oracle

Astrology

Astro Deck

Astro Cards

Pendulum

Candle Flame/Water (Scrying)

Tea Leaves (Tasseography)

Shufflemancy

Bibliomancy

Palmistry

Automatic Writing

Auras

🎵KPOP Groups i write for🎵

Stray Kids

2ne1

Seventeen

BTS

Ateez

VAV

BlackPink

Twice

GOT7

Alexa

Eric Name

KARD

A.C.E

EXO

ONEUS

EVERGLOW

Dreamcatcher

Monsta X

Wonho

Jessi

NCT (All units)

The Boyz

ITZY

Ailee

Super Junior

(If you don't see your group feel free to request them and I'll research them for you guys!)

I do offer these services for everyone, not just for celebrities so if interested, please dm me! 🥰

Thanks again for stopping by and I enjoy your stay!

#kpop #kpop astrology #astrology #astrology kpop #stray kids #stray kids astrology #skz astrology #bts astrology #kpop tarot #blackpink #blackpink astrology #svt #seventeen #seventeen astrology #bts

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1000punks · 5 months

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meet me.

hello, get to know me. 👇🏻 (fanfic masterlist at the bottom!)

name: mephi (they/them)

age: 29

i'm agender, bi and i'm poly; and i love screaming about my husband and my boyfriend. i'm also autistic and disabled. it's fine, lmao.

i old school tumblr- this isn't a dedicated fandom blog or anything, so some interests:

ttrpgs: mostly d&d (2e, 3.5e, 5e) and pathfinder

video games: zelda, assassin's creed, ES, baldur's gate 3 (mostly stems from the interest in d&d), fallout

art: i do art, i have art but i haven't posted my art on tumblr as of yet, i do commissions and all that

literature, gender studies and queer theory: the bisexual trinity

folk magic and folklore, and practicing it

k-pop: nct, shinee, exo, super m, tvxq!

vampires- i have a deep investment in the lost boys, that pale elf from that one game, wwdits, iwtv, castlevania, vampire folklore... throw a stake at it, i probably like it

the crow (1993) starring brandon lee

mcr i ran a dedicated mcr blog back in ye olden tumblr

supernatural unfortunately

writing: i can't be sure i'm very good but some people like the things i write so that's fine by me

vanity tags.

.txt: me chatting shit

.jpeg: photos i post

"fic: xyz" : my writing

"oc: xyz" my original characters

others ocs: other people's original characters

baldur's gays: bg3

i'm all pointy ears: astarion

sympathy for the devil: raphael

your favorite incubus: haarlep

bloodweave: two old gays, one is an elf and one is a wizard

hey hot stuff: karlach

the blade stands at the ready: my guy wyll

one with the weave: hello i'm gale

i am fury i am death: lae'zel

wits and blades: shadowheart

release the bats: anything vampire-y or goth of center

speak friend: LOTR

warded bond: destiel ffs

synth.mp4: 80s and synthwave-y of center stuff

let's vapor these waves: vaporwave

k-pop biases: mmmh (jongin), minnie (taemin), bubu (taeyong), man this is sweet (mark lee), fighting heyadwae (lucas wong), we are need coffee (yuta), not my problem (johnny) and yes i'm allowed four biases if nct has 23 members

i wanna be in the sequel: dedicated scream (1996) tag

the santa clara diet: dedicated lost boys (1987) tag

nothing is trivial: dedicated the crow (1993) tag

did i mention i'm autistic? no? you probably figured that out if you got all the way down here

FANFIC MASTERLIST.

bonding. (Astarion x named!Tav)

Of Paradise For Hell (Raphael x Haarlep x named!Tav)

A Wilderness Of Sweets (Raphael x named!Tav)

⚪ all of the banners, dividers and graphics i use in my fanfic posts are by @saradika-graphics! please check out her blog!

#.txt #about me

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nyssabong · 5 months

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“Are media representations of fans as ‘weird’ and ‘overly emotional’ fair? What is your own experience of fandom?”

A fan is somebody who is obsessed with a particular star, celebrity, film, TV programme, band, and they participate in communal activities (Hills 2002). Most of us are fans of something, as long as we are interested in something. There are many types of fans represented in media and the public, such as normal fans, weird fans, and overly emotional fans. Although there are also some normal fans in the media, I still agree that media representations of fans as ‘weird’ and ‘overly emotional’ are fair. In this blog, we are going to see how the fans are ‘weird’ and ‘overly emotional’ on media, and my own experience of fandom.

One Direction’s crazy fans

According to the research (Chin 2023), the study of fans isn’t new, and it is not just about K-pop or K-dramas. One hardly needs reminding that fan audiences have historically been viewed as ‘obsessive, freakish, hysterical, infantile and regressive social subjects’ (Proctor n.d.). The Channel Four documentary ‘Crazy About One Direction’ (CAOD), begins with the narrator, Julia David, explaining that Directioners are ‘simply crazy’ about the band and that the fan culture is nothing less than a ‘new breed of fan’ who use social media to ‘worship their idols’, and ‘go to extreme lengths to get noticed by the boys’ (Proctor n.d.). They are loyal to their idols and become crazy and weird. According to Proctor (n.d.), those crazy Directioners perform their fandom by tweeting the band and often begging them to ‘follow them’ on social media. From One Direction’s crazy fans research, we can see how ‘weird’ they are.

Sasaeng Fans in Korea

Sasaeng are fans of music groups, who have taken their obsession to extremes because nothing says ‘fan’ better than a bloody letter (Iwicka 2018). Sasaeng fans are people who infringe on the private lives of artists, and they are also ‘weird’ and ‘overly emotional’ in media. In Korea, fans usually give artists gifts like soft toys, or flowers during performances. According to my own experience, I have ever heard some of the weird fans put a micro camera in the gifts, to peep at that artist. Besides, they also get celebrity’s phone numbers from some sources or follow celebrities to their hotel room and keep on disturbing them.

On 21 May 2019, EXO member Kai was broadcasting live on Instagram when he was gym. When he wants to leave, there were two sasaeng fan who are stalking him, and waiting for Kai near the gym of his car (Philippines Star 2019). Not only Kai from EXO, but also a lot of South Korean celebrities met sasaeng fans. During 2021, Blackpink member Kim Jennie was the target of a US$30,000 billboard advertisement set up by Filipino socia media influencer, Christian Albert Gaza, who is a self-proclaimed No 1 Jennie fan (Chung 2021). Sasaeng fans are mostly weird and overly emotional, they not only want to stalk their private lives, but also date the celebrities.

✨My Experience of fandom✨

First and foremost, I used to be a fan of EXO member Luhan while I was in primary school. On October 8, 2017, Luhan made an official announcement on Weibo of his relationship with Guan Xiaotong, which was one of my most memorable experiences. On that day, Luhan's Weibo followers dropped by about half and the social media service was down for a few hours. This research demonstrates that Luhan's fans are typically extremely emotional, since they always consider themselves to be Luhan's girlfriend. Some fans will call themselves as 'girlfriend fans' or'mother fans' on social media platforms. According to my fandom experience, 'girlfriend fans' are more weird and overly emotional. If the celebrities they like suddenly expose their relationship, most of them would either hate the celebrity's girlfriend/boyfriend on social media or begin to condemn the celebrity's girlfriend/boyfriend.

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Conclusion

Based on my research and experience in fandom, I believe that media representations of fans as 'weird' and 'overly emotional' are fair. They are strange and extremely emotional, yet they like celebrities. If the celebrities do something that the toxic fans are uncomfortable with of, they begin to hate and destroy them. However, despite their weird and extremely emotional behaviour, it is all because of they like the celebrities, but in the wrong way.

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References

Chin, B 2023, ‘MDA20009 Week 9 Fandom’, MDA20009 Digital Communities, Learning materials via Canvas, Swinburne Univerity of Technology, 6 October, viewed 8 November 2023.

Chung, JW 2021, From stalking to date requests: 5 times diehard K-pop fans went too far, South China Morning Post, viewed 11 November 2023, <https://www.scmp.com/magazines/style/celebrity/article/3155816/5-k-pop-idols-who-were-victims-sasaeng-fans-blackpinks>.

Hills, M 2022, Fan cultures, Routledge, London.

Iwicka, R 2018, ‘Every Breath You Take: Sasaeng Fans’, At the Interface / Probing the Boundaries, vol. 99, pp. 125–147, viewed 10 November 2023, <https://research.ebsco.com/linkprocessor/plink?id=b28b24e8-2373-3530-8d04-7355f54fe6c2>.

Philippines Star (Manila, Philippines) 2019, ‘EXO’s Kai exposes alleged “sasaeng” fans’, 21 May, viewed 11 November 2023, <https://research.ebsco.com/linkprocessor/plink?id=8adcf75c-6a0a-3b75-a957-1370b7abae6d>.

Proctor, W n.d., Chapter 6 A New Breed of Fan?: Regimes of Truth, One Direction Fans and Representations of Enfreakment, viewed 10 November 2023, <https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/83943346.pdf >.

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