#explaining my depression

[bee26s]

take this tiny blue pill…

maybe you’ll feel like yourself again

#zoloft #sertraline #bipolar disorder #depressed #me #sad #mental illness #anxiety #depressing tumblr #anxious #bipolar #social anxiety #bipolar two disorder #mentally ill #actually bipolar #explaining my depression #mood disorder #medication #medicated #end the stigma #happy pills #blue pills

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

#cw: suicidal ideation #cw: suicide #cw: self harm #cw: mental health #cw: depression #i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it #i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague #it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves #so. please dont #for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic #with the state of the world as it is #having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful #but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full #and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead #i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us #there is no fix-all #and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile #i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it #thank you for reading #and please stay alive #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

[beybuniki]

team up mission in the mountains

#screaming shaking crying because i cant afford these ski suits i dont even ski this is the depression getting meeeee but i DO like drawing #deku a lot he is so cute #bnha #midoriya izuku #deku #bakugo katsuki #he he has to they are a duo #also deku is wearing bakugo's outfit because my friends and i share all of our clothes on vacation too like WHO has money for TWO #$800 jackets #shoto does hence deku got his old one (explains the beautiful baby blue color <3) there is lore behind my fashion choices never 4get

[apoemaday]

Explaining My Depression to My Mother: a Conversation

by Sabrina Benaim

Mom, my depression is a shapeshifter. One day it is as small as a firefly in the palm of a bear, The next, it’s the bear. On those days I play dead until the bear leaves me alone. I call the bad days: “the Dark Days.” Mom says, “Try lighting candles.” When I see a candle, I see the flesh of a church, the flicker of a flame, Sparks of a memory younger than noon. I am standing beside her open casket. It is the moment I learn every person I ever come to know will someday die. Besides Mom, I’m not afraid of the dark. Perhaps, that’s part of the problem. Mom says, “I thought the problem was that you can’t get out of bed.” I can’t. Anxiety holds me a hostage inside of my house, inside of my head. Mom says, “Where did anxiety come from?” Anxiety is the cousin visiting from out-of-town depression felt obligated to bring to the party. Mom, I am the party. Only I am a party I don’t want to be at. Mom says, “Why don’t you try going to actual parties, see your friends?” Sure, I make plans. I make plans but I don’t want to go. I make plans because I know I should want to go. I know sometimes I would have wanted to go. It’s just not that fun having fun when you don’t want to have fun, Mom. You see, Mom, each night insomnia sweeps me up in his arms dips me in the kitchen in the small glow of the stove-light. Insomnia has this romantic way of making the moon feel like perfect company. Mom says, “Try counting sheep.” But my mind can only count reasons to stay awake; So I go for walks; but my stuttering kneecaps clank like silver spoons held in strong arms with loose wrists. They ring in my ears like clumsy church bells reminding me I am sleepwalking on an ocean of happiness I cannot baptize myself in. Mom says, “Happy is a decision.” But my happy is as hollow as a pin pricked egg. My happy is a high fever that will break. Mom says I am so good at making something out of nothing and then flat-out asks me if I am afraid of dying. No. I am afraid of living. Mom, I am lonely. I think I learned that when Dad left how to turn the anger into lonely — The lonely into busy; So when I tell you, “I’ve been super busy lately,” I mean I’ve been falling asleep watching SportsCenter on the couch To avoid confronting the empty side of my bed. But my depression always drags me back to my bed Until my bones are the forgotten fossils of a skeleton sunken city, My mouth a bone yard of teeth broken from biting down on themselves. The hollow auditorium of my chest swoons with echoes of a heartbeat, But I am a careless tourist here. I will never truly know everywhere I have been. Mom still doesn’t understand. Mom! Can’t you see that neither can I?

#poetry #sabrina benaim #explaining my depression to my mother #a conversation

[skinnypaleangryperson]

This show is so good at small little details to reveal what's going on in the characters headspace eventually. The way that he was so obviously in that blank stare and space feeling god knows what fighting a silent battle of what is probably profound suffering if you love deeply, which obviously Rick does, and then instantly bumbled up and made a little quirky joke and then smiled and went back to having that mellow but distant tired look on face, which we've seen him do plenty of times before-it just goes to show that it's all just a performance, and that he probably has been feeling this way the majority of the time.

I know that we already know that Rick is miserable, obviously, for a multitude of reasons, but this just really said in stone the extremely and deeply deeply depressed in pain that he's carrying around with him all the time.

#I feel like I'm an outcast consumer for feeling this way #but if you suffer from severe depression or from grief in some way #or alcoholism etc #these shows can be so cathartic to watch or at least as much as watching a show can be #rick and morty #rick sanchez #my baby ❤️ #I'm so content to grieve with him for the rest of my life #I don't know how to explain it but with the way that he's written I can feel the stimulation of his pain as if it's a real person or as if #it's my own. #it's probably because we both feel and love and not get over things incredibly similar ways

[mumblesplash]

thought about the expression “big fish in a small pond” too hard and accidentally invented new ocs

#my art #this whole story is extremely self indulgent in a very specific way i don’t think i could explain if i tried #don’t worry about it i’ve just been taken by the madness again #what if you were a depressed divorcee with a dead end job and a drinking problem and somehow through a convoluted series of events #all of these issues were resolved because one day you fell and almost drowned in the ocean #what if you escaped a watery grave in the depths of the uncaring sea because one tiny part of it noticed you #what if you met someone who was better than you in all the ways you thought you cared about #but also had comically exaggerated versions of all your flaws #and it made you realize getting everything you want wouldn’t fix you #and also. and this is very important. what if there was a mermaid and he was so so pretty and sparkly ­:) #do you see. do you understand the vision here

[arrowheadedbitch]

Holy shit guys, I think I have seasonal depression (this should not be as big of a shock for me as it is) (it was very obvious)

#it literally explains everything #i've been so sad this week and had no idea why #you know #the first week that actually feels like winter #wonder what could be different here #Hmm #what could be causing me to be sad while doing things that usually make me happy? #It surely is a mystery #and definetly not depression #why am i sad around my girlfriend and writing way less than usual? #call hercule poirot bc I have NO IDEA #or sherlock #you can call him too #matter of fact #get all the fictional detectives on this one #I think we'll need 'em

[todayisafridaynight]

matrophobia

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku 7 #yakuza series #yakuza like a dragon #yakuza 7 #masumi arakawa #masato arakawa #snap sketches #oh my god im going to pass out but my tag ramble is necessary. like especially this time #i was just gonna draw his Actual mom but then i wanted to get saucy with it. also i miss drawing wolves but theres a purpose i promise #ive loved wolves since i was a kid since theyre like. family-oriented and shit. of course a lonely loser ass kid gonna think thats cool #when i think of wolves i think of family- which is what you should think of with your mom right #but a lot of people know wolves are monsters so. ysee where im goin with this one #the flowers and thorns arent Just Random i Double Promise: i snagged inspo from her flower shirt #i originally had the roses be purple to highlight that buuut i didnt want any more color aside from red #did i have anymore notes..... i dont think so. thats all i had to explain :) this is mid ik i just needed it done tho im TIRED #OH HER MULTIPLE EYES its supposed to be inspired by her necklace :) the third eye has a purpose im too tired to explain rn tho #the jo alternative was more depressing since i wanted to put emphasis on his feelings of inadequacy in that #BUT i figured hey. let me have a /lil/ happiness today right. i can do that at least let me draw that at least #ignore the fact i got more bad news while drawing this and almost abandoned it as a result but we push through :) #in any case. im subjecting arakawa to more horrors tomorrow i guess sorry king youve had it good too long. i GUESS #to round this off. Obligatory Vent Portion because myyyyy GOD. i have nightmares about my mom every night #its been that way since like. february- ive always had nightmares bout her but theyve ramped up since The Event #and for the most part i just wake up tired and despondent but sometimes the nightmares just make me wake up gasping for air #like i was TRULY just fighting for my life then and itd been a while since i had a nightmare like that #and just. coupled with how trash my months been. and now that im comm free.(dm me;) ) i figured id express the soul a bit #alright NOW im done. im pretty sure. goodnight everyone come back for part ii of. whatever this was #IM ALL OUT OF TAGS NOW LMAO THATS EPIC ok bye fr

[opia-jpg]

marsfiol and their priestess

#this one is for marsfiol enjoyers as i believe most of you aren't familiar with the priestess yet #i could explain. but i dont want to #just know that the deal by mitski is extremely priestesscoded song to me #UNI HASNT DEFEATED ME YET BTW I PROMISE #i was jist enjoying my seasonal depression and not drawing much...... #my art! #marsfiol #the priestess #oc #artist on tumblr

[bee26s]

#I wouldn’t like me #you wouldn’t like me #tegan and sara #song #lyrics #depressed #me #bipolar disorder #sad #mental illness #anxiety #depressing tumblr #anxious #bipolar #social anxiety #bipolar two disorder #mentally ill #actually bipolar #mood disorder #explaining my depression #how i feel #i don’t want to be here

[nagichi-boop]

I’ve been up for three hours. Now seems like a good time to have a nap.

#basically the story of my life at this point #it’s kinda depressing actually #I last a few hours before I feel incredibly tired again #and everyone thinks my life is so nice cuz they wish they could sleep #even tho I feel wrecked when I wake up again #*sigh* maybe I am just lazy tho #it’s not like I have a diagnosis that explains why I laze around every day #then act like my life is so hard #chronic fatigue #chronic illness #chronically ill #disabled #disability #physically disabled #nagichi talks

[felizusnavidad]

"i don't think i'll ever understand musicals the way you do" is something i've heard from one of my friends a couple of days ago when i told him i'm about to cross the whole country just to see one of those (my favourite one!) live in theatre. and i can't blame him. if you'd have told me a year ago that i would do something like that, i'd probably have laughed in your face. life is so unpredictable. i guess i have changed a lot. and i could write thousands of essays about how musicals helped me get through the shittiest period of my life, but we are not going to talk about this today. today we are talking about in the heights, the first musical i got a chance to experience live in theatre, hopefully not last. so grab a cup of coffee and make yourself comfortable, this is going to be the longest essay you've ever seen, friends.

a little warning: spoilers. a lot of them actually. so if, by any chance, you haven't seen/heard it yet and you are going to, don't read it.

first thing i feel like i need to mention is that they had this mini bar inside the theatre and you could order a lot of different drinks there and one of them was called abuela's coffee. i heard one lady explaining to someone that it's actually coffee with condensed milk. my jaw dropped and i was like CAN I STAY HERE FOREVER, PLEASE? for those who don't understand why, here's a quote from the first song:

USNAVI: abuela, my fridge broke, i got café but no con leche ABUELA CLAUDIA: try my mother's old recipe: one can of condensed milk

so this was my first "OH! THEY GET IT!" moment (a little note here: i had a lot of oh, they get it moments, mostly because i don't have any people around me who understand musicals the way i do... honestly, you'd have to live inside my brain). that was the first time ever when i could actually be in the room where it happens with all those people who get it and care about it as much as i do (mostly actors and people responsible for the whole show tho, but we will get to this later).

let's get to the show. so when i finally went inside and i saw the stage, i already had tears in my eyes (don't judge me please). usnavi's store, abuela's door, daniela and carla's salon, all those puerto rican, cuban and dominican flags (one couple behind me was trying to figure out which one is which and it was funny because i knew and i wanted to scream)... listening and memorizing the whole soundtrack is one thing. being able to experience it all live is something else. all those things around me were so familiar and this was the first time in months (MONTHS! OR EVEN YEARS!) i felt really understood. after all, it was all like a little celebration of lin's story (the one i love with all my heart) and i truly felt like home. so that was another OH! THEY GET IT! moment.

i don't think i'm going to talk about every single song here, that's not the point. i will talk about my favourite moments, but also about things that didn't work very well in my opinion (again: this was a polish version so all the songs were translated into polish. and they did a really great job here, surprisingly. but it wasn't perfect, more about that later).

one thing you need to understand is that i will never be normal about musicals so of course i had to burst into tears at the very first song (i don't even know why, i think i was a little bit too excited). i was actually crying in the most random moments like when i first saw nina or at the end of carnaval del barrio because I KNEW WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT (who the hell cries at carnaval del barrio when everyone is having the time of their lives lol, me apparently).

ok, so the first song. the choreography, oh my god. it was everything. the translation was also pretty good here, i need to say this was probably one of my favourite moments. imagine me leaving today giggling like a child when usnavi came on that stage and started rapping, i was in heaven. also, i have to admit, the cast was amazing. i could never imagine anyone better for this role (and again, i am talking about polish actors because everyone knows who's the best usnavi of them all). he was cute and charming and awkward and so adorkable and also really handsome. he was actually perfect in my opinion.

i kinda lost my mind when i saw nina for the first time. first of all: i already knew who was going to play her and let's just say i fell in love with this actress before i even saw her live on that stage. this was important to me, because (as some of you know) nina rosario is my favourite character. and oh my god, she was an absolute perfection. what a voice, sweet jesus. i'm being serious, this girl is so talented, give her every award (i honestly hope i will have a chance to see her again one day, i'm just crazy about her). and breathe was so good! polish version was amazing, i was so scared they would screw it up, but they didn't, so all's good (this song is very important to me, ok?). also, she's a phenomenal actress, i could feel all her emotions for real. and of course i cried, what did you expect?

i don't have that much to say about benny, except that he was really cute and he had amazing chemistry with nina, so once again, the casting was really good. i mean, he is not chris jackson of course, but i have decided i'm not going to compare all those actors because everyone knows at this point how much i love OBC, i was trying to have an open mind. vanessa was also pretty great, amazing voice and her dancing skills, wow, just wow. i could talk about all those actors for days actually, but i'm not going to do that, so i will just quickly mention that i absolutely loved daniela and carla, abuela claudia made me cry, sonny was the funniest character in the whole play and i don't think i will ever recover after piragua guy's performance (i was the only person in the audience who was laughing when he came on that stage, they don't get it, ok? polish people have no sense of humour and that's a fact). actually, there were a lot of funny moments (obviously) and i was the only person who was laughing, god help me.

so let's get to the first thing that was a little disappointing for me. you will not believe it, but it was actually... 96,000 (this is one of my favourite songs and i seriously can't live like this). it's not the translation tho (it was honestly fine), it's the voice overlapping part at the end (again, the best thing ever, just listen to we don't talk about bruno from encanto and non-stop from hamilton and you will understand why it works so well in every lmm's song). the thing is, you could actually only hear vanessa's part and i wanted to die, because EXCUSE ME. i always sing usnavi's part and you could barely hear a word from it. but apart from that, the rest was fine, the choreography was amazing and it's just something i needed to mention because i had thoughts about it.

paciencia y fe! ok besties, i have thoughts, again. abuela claudia was absolutely incredible, also, her relationship with usnavi is something that you can't see in the movie version (they were so sweet i wanted to curl up and die. i knew about it before, i saw slime tutorial with obc on yt, ok? i'm pretty sure lin would be mad at me for watching bootlegs lol. i just wanted to say this). the translation didn't work out at the very end of the song tho, because when in the og version abuela sings about the "winning ticket", everyone knows already she won the lottery. i don't remember polish translation exactly, but it was something with double meaning, depends on how you interpret it, and i'm 100% sure people who didn't know the plot just didn't catch it. the rest of the song was absolutely beautiful tho.

when you're home. i was so afraid of this one, because i am totally crazy about this song (did i ever mention lin wrote this one after one of his first dates with vanessa? no? yes? ok i'll shut up about this now). oh, they did a really great job with it and it's a relief. i have nothing else to say, except that i was crying like a baby, but this song always makes me cry so what did you expect exactly? one of the best moments for sure. again, nina and benny's chemistry was absolutely incredible.

as much as i loved the club, i was actually really disappointed with one part, which is usnavi's famous "jealous i ain't jealous, i can take all these fellas, wHaTeVaaaaa". i've been waiting so long for this! and they messed it up with their stupid cringy translation which i don't even remember at the moment but usnavi was actually mad at benny and he cursed? ANYWAY. the rest of the song was great and the choreography was absolutely phenomenal, oh vanessa! let me get the next one! (i love her so much, she was amazing here). a little note from me: no one was laughing at the "no hablo ingles" part, NO ONE BUT ME!!! THEY DON'T GET IT! WTF! i was so mad (i am aware of the fact that most people probably didn't even know this story before and they just wanted to see a musical, not THE MUSICAL, which is totally fine. but sweet jesus, where is their sense of humour? they left it at home or what?).

and blackout was that part where the voice overlapping effect worked very well, so all's good. actually, one of the best moments for me as well. people were actually so confused when all the lights went down, but that was just so amazing. all the panic! everybody was screaming, crying! WE ARE POWERLESS! THE END OF ACT I!!! oh, i had the time of my life.

i had this weird feeling that they didn't exactly know how to translate most of hundreds of stories so they just made this song shorter than it actually is. which is fine i guess. honestly, it's better than bad translation, so i can forgive them. what i absolutely can't forgive tho is that the audience wasn't laughing at US NAVY. polish people, you have no fucking taste. i said what i said. and then again, usnavi and abuela's relationship was so sweet this song actually made me cry (mostly because i knew what was coming but also, i was just this weird girl who was sitting there in the second row and was crying at the most random moments).

ok, guys, honestly. carnaval del barrio was the best moment from the entire musical. oh, how much i want to experience it again! daniela was absolutely incredible, carla was so sweet, piragua guy stole the whole fucking show for me (seriously guys! he was just so amazing!). also, those little details i have never noticed before? i can't even tell if the same thing happened in the original version (the quality of that bootleg is actually terrible), but benny dancing with american flag somewhere in the background was so fucking funny and i don't think i will ever get over that part where at the end they were all still dancing and celebrating and nina and usnavi just ran away as fast as they could because... because you guys know what just happened. also, this is the moment i started crying.

i was so scared of it. let me tell you one thing, i experienced abuela's death at least fifty times and i still cry every single time. so atención is something i have to mention, because all the emotions and kevin's shaky voice made me burst into tears right away, and this time i wasn't the only one because i saw a lot of people crying when they realized what happened (i also heard a lot of OHs when he said abuela passed away, so yes, most of them didn't know this story and they were surprised). and alabanza was something else. believe me when i tell you i am writing this with tears in my eyes, i have never cried so much in public. this was the moment i was the most scared of and i was absolutely right because holy fuck. i was a mess. all the actors with those candles singing alabanza a doña claudia! (yes, they didn't translate it, all the spanish parts were left like in the original version and i am so grateful for that), it was just so sad and so beautiful. and this time i was actually like oh, they get it now (everyone was speechless and people were crying).

everyone must know at this point how much i adore champagne and i wasn't disappointed (thank god!). once again, usnavi was absolutely adorable here and people were actually laughing this time (also thank god!). how do you get this gold shit off? (my favourite line from the whole musical) was translated really well and the moment when usnavi and vanessa kissed! with all lights on them! this was so emotional and the audience reacted so well! we were all clapping (it was so funny to pretend like i didn't know it was gonna happen haha i was just as excited as all of them and once again i was like OH! THEY GET IT!). 10/10, would recommend.

if you think i wasn't crying during the last song, think again. one thing i absolutely hate about the movie version is that they actually changed the graffiti that made usnavi stay in washington heights, but i'm not gonna talk about that and i'm not gonna talk about vanessa also being there in the movie. in the original version it was a portrait of abuela claudia made by graffiti pete and oh boy, i lost my mind (i knew about it but i still lost my mind because it was absolutely beautiful). i got the feeling it was a little rushed in our polish version, but i can forgive them because it still made me cry. also, at the very end, usnavi did not only finally acknowledge he's home, when the song was over he pretty much told the audience that we are all home right now and may i just say... i felt that. i was home. they made me believe for the first time in my life i was where i belong, and somehow that was everything.

one thing about me is that this is actually all new to me. this was my first musical i saw live in theatre (and also lin's first child, which is exactly how it was supposed to be i think), and believe me when i tell you i've never had this much fun in my entire life, not even at all the concerts of my favourite artists. it was worth every money. it was worth spending 11 hours on the train and 11 more on my way back home, which by the way we should normalize (people are doing crazy things just to see their favourite artists on the stage and it's considered normal, so why can't we consider THIS normal?). anyway, i don't expect anyone around me to understand it the way i do, but i feel like i really found my thing, and it's all because of lin-manuel miranda, our beautiful puerto rican genius. he made me believe musicals can be cool and i truly wish i could thank him for that one day.

and like i said, in the heights is my favourite story with my favourite characters and i listened to it so many times i have memorized all the little details. experiencing it live is something completely different tho and i think it's safe to say this was the best night of my entire life. even tho most of the people in the audience didn't really get it, i finally felt like i was a part of this world created by my favourite genius and for the first time ever i felt understood. so i think i can say that now: i found my island, guys, i'm there, i'm home!

#if you were able to read the whole thing: congrats #also another note from me: i apologize for all those “they get it” “they dont get it” #i swear to god i am not making fun of anyone #you guys just know how much i am into it #and if other people were just there to enjoy it it's totally fine! #not everyone has to be obsessed! #but i am! #so i just wanted to explain it ok? #good. #also i apologize for it being so long but i had so much to say and i still feel like i didn't say everything i wanted #feel free to leave a comment or ask any questions if you want #now if you think i will finally shut up about in the heights on my silly little blog think again #i love it even more now if that's possible #and another explanation: i'm gonna tag this as my countdown because again i want all my ith posts in one place #thank you for your attention #it won't be long now* #why do you write like you're running out of time* #(not gonna tag this as ith cause this is only for my moots cause you guys get it) #(the last time one of my ith posts was seen by people who dont even know what that is i was depressed for days but that's another story) #(iykyk) #(and you know cause you left me tons of sweet messages guys i love you)

[jjba-smash-or-pass]

#you know what it might not be because of a general feeling of depression #maybe it's just burnout from the blog idk #I've also had creative burnout recently and it's been hard to work on any writing or drawing #just a general feeling of being in a funk bc it's been too cold to go outside so I've just been indoors all day every day #in the two same rooms (my bedroom and the living room) #anyway. enough about my life. I can't explain it but smash why not #king crimson #golden wind #jojo's bizarre adventure

[symbiotic-slime]

mfs swear they’re normal and then start sobbing when they read a fic where the character they project onto has the same mental illness/neurodivergence as them

#this is about every fic where eddie has depression/severe anxiety #and also autism #I don’t even know if I have that one but! #I’ve been peer reviewed (my autistic friends think I am on the spectrum) #it would explain a lot #sam’s ramblings

[hayatheauthor]

A child who is unloved treats the world one of two ways.

There are the ones who project their situation onto others, and treat the people around them as they were treated.

Then there are the ones who make it their responsibility to heal the hearts of those around them. The ones who love the unloveable, for they would never doom another to a fate like theirs.

But the thing is, neither of them are wrong.

For our hearts are so different from each other's. Just like our minds and bodies.

And a child cannot be blamed for how they make their heart heal. 

#tbh just mha rambles #but it's also about the characters from my wip #if only i could be this eloquent while saying the same thing to agents and explaining my character dynamics #how the protag and antagonist are so similar and come from same situations but their mindset and outlook of the world changes everything #haya sameer #hayatheauthor #haya: writes #childhood trauma #childhood depression #childhood poetry #emotional trauma #emotional abandonment

[bernard-the-rabbit]

Sydney seeing R during his bad days for the first time

#cw:depressive episode #coping by self projecting my depressive episodes on grantaire #but make it cute and him being actually loved #i feel like R had a pretty good hold on his mental health during Sydney's early childhood #so she never actually saw him struggling and she pretty scared #Enjolras is amazing tho so he managed to explain everthing to Gloria without making the situation worse #my trashy art #les mis #les mis fanart #les miserables #les miserables fanart #enjolras #enjolras fanart #grantaire #grantaire fanart #enjoltaire #enjoltaire fanart #enjoltaire fankid #enjoltaire parents au