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#fake ah geoff
ottos-art-stash · 11 months
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My piece for the Achieve Zine found here
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urfavesarequadranted · 10 months
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Geoff Ramsey and Jack Pattillo from the Fake AH Crew are moirails!
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namnworb · 10 months
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Geoff Ramsey from Fake AH Crew / Achievement Hunter
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breathing-in-waves · 2 years
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Uno Infinite Update
Got about 10-15 videos coming right now but I'm very behind. Got a lot of video requests so I'm gonna have to continue after I sleep for a bit cause they just got 1200+ subs in 15 minutes so it's not ending right away.
AH / RT Community, Thank you for your patience and kind words. Hope you enjoy the next view videos! Please feel free to continue requests if you don't see something up. Also, let me know if I should upload it on YT for yall.
Thanks, Wes
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acaplaya-musings · 25 days
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Voiceplay Visuals: Bang!
("Hang on, you're didn't do Carry On Wayward Son?" No, because as fantastic and mind-blowing as it is from an arrangement perspective, the video (though not boring by any means) doesn't give me a lot to talk about. I won't be doing Nothing Else Matters either, sorry!)
A bit more of a chill video, especially compared to the post I did before this and the post I will be doing right after this, but I figured there was just enough going on in this video for me to make at least a short post about it.
Voiceplay's cover of Bang! released on the 27th of February, 2021, and features the amazing DeeJay Young in his first time as a featured artist with the group!
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Looking sharp there boys! Love the setting as well - that back wall looks fancy!
Pretty sure Eli's hat is the same as the one he wore in both the Frozen 2 Medley and Aca Top 10 Disney Villains? And he's worn it in at least one or two other videos as well iirc.
I also just realised Geoff is the only one wearing just a shirt with nothing over it (e.g. no jacket or anything of the sort) (love that for him)
Love J and DeeJay with the matching leopard print (which also matches the sofa cushions!)
WAIT HANG ON I just looked at the comments and Voiceplay said that everyone had a leopard-print accessory or clothing item in this video! Eli has leopard-print glasses I believe, Geoff I'm pretty sure has a leopard-print watch, but as for Layne I have no clue, and I'm going to presume that maybe he's wearing leopard-print socks that you can't see in the video?
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They all get individual shots with different backgrounds! J's is pink with hearts and purple writing/graffiti
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DeeJay's has even more leopard print
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Eli's has popcorn
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Layne has a white wall with black polka dots, plus a bright pink chandelier and a pink neon sign that says "you're like really pretty" (good for him 😋)
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And Geoff has a blue wall with a couple of bookshelves filled with colourful books (nerd) (I'm guessing they're fake prop books?)
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Love this dude <3 (95% of the time, anyway /hj )
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Eli's glasses frames are either also leopard-print or they're just tortoiseshell pattern, not sure (EDIT: They're leopard-print)
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J and DeeJay both have some great moves in this video!
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"taxes are due!"
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"Does my password begin with a 1 or a 2?" (only just noticed Eli and J's expressions here)
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Geoff's air-grabbing(?) motion after his fancy bass vocal run, what a show-off 😝 (joking and affectionate)
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Geoff had a lot of fun with this video didn't he?
(Also, as per usual, wearing a button-up shirt with at least one or two of the top buttons undone (though I'm certainly not complaining))
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Pfft, someone had fun filming this for sure! 😆
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Lol rip Layne
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Man those teddy bears look so soft and comfy! Jealous!
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Apparently, according to a reaction video I watched, DeeJay's little move at the end here is known as "hitting the woah" or something like that (I swear I'm not that old, I just don't use TikTok!)
I wouldn't say I watch this video a lot (though a little more than Kidnap The Sandy Claws, probably), but it's a vibe! Very fun, pretty chill, and definitely more chill than the next video I will be talking about! (I'll also be skipping Eleanor Rigby and Go The Distance, sorry!) I'm thinking "ah heck" just thinking about it, but it should be interesting if nothing else! Stay tuned!
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helloliriels · 2 years
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loved what you made of my last fake fic title so here is another one! eeeeek!
product in your hair
hehhehe
*hugs from a turtle* (as always no pressure tho!)
... ooohhhhhyeahhhh!!! Have sum real fluff this time, as promised!!! Haha ☺️😄💕
Product In Your Hair
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John ran his fingers through his hair, making sure this was *more* ... waaaaay more product than he normally used!
If there was anything the genius hadn't picked up on yet - it was that John wasn't straight;
Wasn't dating anymore;
And was about to come undone every time he was around his gorgeous flatmate ...
............................
John grinned devilishly. Looking at his reflection in the mirror with satisfaction. Then topped it all of with a nice bit of setting spray.
There.
Time to play a game of 'deductions' with the world's greatest detective.
.
He took a deep breath ...
Psyched himself up ...
And headed out the door.
........................
"John, you've really outdone yourself tonight," Lestrade beamed, leaning in to be heard over the noise at the pub, "do you think he's noticed yet?"
John's eyes automatically rose to find Sherlock. Then he winked at Lestrade, catching Sherlock's eye from across the room as he leaned back. "Yeah ..." he nodded, "I think he's catching on, Greg - finally! Did I make it obvious enough?!"
He practically glowed.
Beaming with pride.
.
"Thank GAWD! At long last!" Lestrade gave him a hearty pump on the shoulder. Smiling up at John's reclining figure. At ease. At home at last, in his own skin ... "Seeing you like this ... makes me proud John. I'm so happy-!"
Sherlock was suddenly wedged between them.
Eyes dialled in to the contact he had just interrupted. Razor sharp gaze on Greg's fingers, until they pulled back to his own glass ...
.
John could not comprehend quite how Sherlock had managed to move across the room so quickly, without their notice?
Let alone why ... ??
.
"Ah, Gordon. Good to know you had time this evening to hang out with the cool kids. No cases requiring your overworked and underpaid attentions? Or perhaps you came tonight to request my assistance ...? Continually out-of-your depth, as always. I hope you were giving John all the details ..."
Sherlock’s deductive insults began rattling out - rapid fire - and John covered his face in mortification. Quietly dying a little inside as the genius prattled on and on ...
"Did I notice you were leaning into the bar more heavily than normal, Geoff? Your stomach was making enough noise to rival this frankly alarming establishment," he continued, "probably not the best idea, these chips ..." as he moved them out of reach ...
John zoned out. Ignoring the words being spoken. Hearing only the sound of Sherlock's tone. Cutting it's way through all else ...
Sherlock was jealous ...
Sherlock was JeALoUS ...
Sherlock was ... ?!
.
John was an idiot.
.
He groaned into his hands and a frantic giggle escaped, realizing how stupid he'd been not to just SAY something! To stick like GLUE to Sherlock's side until the braniac actually caught on!
"... perhaps we should all move over there?" Sherlock pointed to a booth nearer the loos, "Does your doctor know you're developing Ulceritive Colitis? I DO hope they've suggested treatments for someone of your advancing age ..."
How could a genius be this thick!?! ... John wondered ... even as the words spewing forth became more viscious and belittling. John came to and realized he had better make it STOP. And NOW!
"Sherlock?" He tried quietly.
".. you really should see someone for the thinning hair and extra weight you've been putting on, too. John and I agreed it's at least 15 pounds-"
"SherLOCK ..." John tried again. Growling.
Sherlock continued regardless.
"SHERLOCK!!" John shouted!
Catching everyone by surprise.
.
You could hear a pin drop.
John's small stature seemed to suddenly take up the whole room.
Sherlock stared down at the floor. Pursed lips. Hands held behind his back.
A schoolboy. Caught.
Embarrassment. Anger. Frustration. Hurt. Panic. Flashed in those eyes as he dared to meet John's commanding gaze ...
.
"That's enough." John calmed his voice down. Having the attention he needed now, and having ceased the damage from continuing ...
The noise in the room picked back up. A backdrop drowning out any further attention towards them alone.
John stepped over and pulled Sherlock aside.
"Bloody git!" he seethed, "you didn't have to go at Lestrade like that!" He still held on to Sherlock’s arm, tugging him along. Sherlock was not protesting. Not arguing. Just letting John lead.
John stopped. Took a deep breath. Pinched the bridge of his nose and gave Sherlock a second before physically turning him so they faced each other ...
"You noticed," John stated. Nodding for agreement, "I assume you noticed my hair??"
Sherlock nodded.
Swallowing.
.
"And you drew some conclusions?" John continued.
Again, a nod.
.
"I want to hear you say them," John commanded. Arms folded.
"You put product in your hair." Sherlock announced it as if he had just declared the death of a family member. "You've decided to embrace your bisexual nature and moved in on the nearest male of approachable target age."
.
"Jesus, Sherlock?!" John laughed, incredulous at how close ... and yet how FAR from correct the deductions were!!
... He immediately regretted it.
.
Sherlock looked at him, pained. Turning away.
.
"NOooOoo!" John declared. Grabbing and latching on to Sherlock's warm hand ...
"You're so close!" John praised, "Brilliant even! ... and yet ... yet you've overlooked the most obvious part of the equation??" John slipped his hand into Sherlock’s palm and pulled him close.
Arms snaking around the detectives hips.
Then he looked up with adoring eyes and waited ...
.
Sherlock stared at their connectedness. At the warmth of John on him.
On him.
On.
HIM.
.
Sherlock blinked.
"I'm apparently not being obvious enough?" John tsked, then holding Sherlock's face in his hands, pulled him down for an impromptu kiss...
"How's that for obvious?" He asked, not getting a reaction, "Didn't think I was after the belhop?" John pulled him into a kiss again! "The bar boy?" John teased, getting more cooperation and infinitely more blinks ...
"The guy playing billiards? Was I after him? Hmmm?" Sherlock met him halfway this time, greedily kissing John's lips like he was suffocating for air. Ironically making them both gasp and pant with the exertion.
"Now that's more like it!"
John grinned on reply, tugging Sherlock into the corner, where Sherlock quickly took over the lesson ...
.
"Oi! You two - get a room!" Greg cheered from the bar. Raising a glass to them both.
John and Sherlock both turned on him, shouting, "RUDe!" Then burst out laughing, holding onto each others sides as they doubled over with it ...
"Actually ..." John sobered, petting Sherlock's jacket lapel, and stealing a kiss by his ear whispered, "would you mind?"
Sherlock's eyebrows raised and he glanced towards the hotel lobby ...
A gleam in his eyes ...
.
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Sorry this one took so long to answer! I wrote it like 3 different ways before I got what I was after! lol, I said I'd get to them all! 4 more to go!
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alfryco · 1 year
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okay your ask inspired me so more AH asks for you: 1, 5, 8, 25, 34, 48, 51!! <3
Thank you for the questions Emrys :3
1) How did you get into AH?
Already answered, but I got into them by seeing a video somebody made on youtube with a bunch of other fandoms that were popular on Tumblr in 2014.
5) Favorite team?
Whatever the hell team name Trevor and Alfredo have now (tho Team Nice Dynamite is always right behind them in my heart)
8) Favorite AU?
Hmm favorite AU would have to be the Fake AH Crew AU just because of all the memories I have of messing around in that AU and all the great content that people have created using that AU. There's just so much to do when the characters you're playing with are literal criminals.
25) Has a video or specific moment ever made you emotional?
Not sure if this is for like sad emotional or happy emotional or whatever, but the first video I can remember off the top of my head that made me emotional in the sad way was when Meg had to host The Know after Monty passed away.
34) Have you seen the musical?
Yep I have! Watched the whole thing when it was mixed with the GTA video.
48) If you have one, who’s your favorite fic author or fan artist?
OOoohhh boy do I *cracks knuckles*
Since I know I can't narrow this down to like one author and artist I'm just gonna do a handful of the large amount of people that have created some of my favorite works and inspired me/influenced me with how I write.
So author wise I have to first give it up for @confusedeevee who without her I would most likely not be writing AH fanfic like I am today, plus she's an excellent beta, amazing writing partner and always helps me brainstorm when I need it and will listen to me rant and rave about all my au ideas even tho it's probably 3 am for her :') and her fics are out of this world, please go read them.
Next is @futureboy LIGHT OF MY FUCKING LIFE who fed (and continues to feed tbh) my alfreyco cravings and has some of the best written dialogue out there and a head full of incredible ideas when it comes to writing! They just have some of the best writing out there and they're honestly killing it with the ST fics right now.
And since we're talking about Alfreyco (because how could we not am i right??) @jusst-you-wait is honestly really to blame for me still writing AH fic to this day, because this lovely alfreyco obsession of mine started when I read her Fake AH fic about Trevor and Alfredo investigating some abandoned building for Geoff and that's all she wrote. Also one of the best hype mans out there and such a great writer!
And I can't forget @shadeofazmeinya and @sorcererinthestars who also have some of the best fics out there in my opinion. And tbh I included both of them in one thing because one is not far from the other when it comes to fics and tumblr and there places in my HEART! Love these two so much and both have them have produced such fantastic work in this fandom and appreciate that every single DAY.
Ok now with artists unfortunately there aren't as many as there used to be in the ye olden days of the fandom, but that doesn't mean we don't have some excellent artists still!
Firstly is @keeningthoughts who without them I would not have the lovely alfreyco outlast fanart that I cry over almost daily and would not have known the joys of being in a server dedicated to a podcast co-lead by two very silly boys. Clay, your everchanging art style and the art you've drawn, no matter how silly, have always made me so happy when i see them on here or twitter :3
And then @ursifors who has created some of the most awesome art in this fandom. Just the way you draw the AH members (and Jeremy lbr) is so incredible and fun to look at. Your shading and the way you draw expressions are always the best. Like the way you nail people's faces is just 👌👌👌👌
51) Any videos, series, podcasts, etc. you’d recommend to new fans?
Would definitely recommend Red Web (how can I not?) if you're into spooky things and conspiracy theories, but for general AH stuff I would recommend Off Topic because that is always a good, tho sometimes chaotic, way to get a feel for the vibes at AH. As for videos, any Between the Games and Shenanigans videos are always great to watch. Series wise, there are always MC and GTA videos, which are CLASSICS even if they're older and Play Pals which is 👌. Always recommend those. Some more recent ones would be GMOD and 7 days to die. Also the Rage Quit anniversary video they came out like two weeks ago. That was an excellent video.
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mangora · 2 years
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Remake of my TD coffee shop orders post with ALL the characters bc I am bugging rn
GEN ONE:
Ezekiel: He drinks plain coffee, possibly with cream and sugar, just bc it’s how he grew up
Eva: If a protein shake is available, I mean obviously she’s taking that, but under regular coffee shop constraints I think she’d do a black coffee, MAYBE a coffee with milk on special occasions. I don’t think she cares about the taste she just wants the energy boost
Noah: I’m kinda conflicted. Bc I think he’d make fun of high-sugar and froofy drinks, but also I think he’d be too self aware to drink black coffee to look cool and he needs the adhd sugar serotonin boost. Maybe I’d go middle ground, have him drink a latte or a mocha. I think he tries to narrowly avoid coffee discourse but just narrowly
Justin: He loves stupid fancy high-detail drinks. He is the fucking joke about the guy who asks you to heat his milk to a certain degree Celsius. He drinks Virgin Irish coffee with nonfat gelato and splenda. Whipped cream towers and wafer straws. I fucking hate this guy
Katie: She likes PSLs and owns it. Go girlboss. And Frappuccinos, if it’s full of sugar she loves it.
Tyler: He doesn’t like coffee, tries to drink skinny lattes or hot espresso and hates them both. He also hates protein shakes. Medicine teas? So bad but he tries. You know what he likes? He likes fruit smoothies and juices. It’s his secret jam. He’s bisexual
Izzy: Redbull, she will not drink any normal liquid, it’s this or monster or like a cosmopolitan at 9am. You take her to a coffee shop? “Yeah can I get a cup of syrup?” They have a primal urge to just, destroy their body. She’s playing chicken with God. Also, hot dog water
Cody: He likes chocolate milk, I feel like this ones obvious, he would cry and shit his pants if he had to drink real coffee
Beth: Also not a big coffee girl, I think even a frappe would be much for her. She’s a juice drinker. Maybe a smoothie drinker? But I think she’d be happiest with like an orange or apple juice box
Sadie: Obviously a Frappuccino or fancy latte like Katie, twinsies, etc. but I do think she’d be insecure about ordering one without Katie
Courtney: Soy milk macchiato, or like an espresso or red eye with a dash of soy milk. Whatever, lots of coffee and a little soy milk so she can technically claim she’s not a neurotic coffee addict. She would just do crack if she was a little more deranged
Harold: He likes those fucking anime sodas those piss me off for no reason. But fr do I think he’d be a coffee snob and order like a “piccolo latte” at a Dutch Bros. Leshawna almost kills him for it. Duncan does kill him for it
Trent: Hot take: Trent’s a tea guy. He likes white or green, maybe with some nut or oat milk. I would say matcha but honestly i feel like it would be too heavy for him. He’s not a drink girlie he just likes water usually but if he sees a good tea shop, he’s like “ah what the hell”
Bridgette: She would be a refresher or iced fruit tea enjoyer. Especially like cistrusy drinks. Maybe, on like holidays, every other leap year, she would get oat milk or soy milk with like a half shot of espresso
Lindsay: Nonfat caramel macchiato, maybe blended with ice. She likes basic sweet coffee drinks and you know what? She deserves it
DJ: I think he’d be a big juice guy, especially like green juices. I could see him getting a latte or cappuccino with, say it with me everyone, plant milk, but idk. I don’t think he’s super picky
Geoff: Once again I don’t think he’s picky, but I do think he’d be a day drinker, like he’d order a Long Island iced tea in the morning with a fake ID or he’d pour vodka into a latte. I could also see him ordering a frappe or maybe even an egg coffee.
Leshawna: HOT TAKE: I think she’d really like an affogato. It’s creamy, it’s sweet, and she deserves a treat with a bit of a kick
Duncan: This will be a theme in here: he pretends to like black coffee but doesn’t. At least, it’s not his favorite. He’s actually more fond of sweet cold brews.
Heather: I know Duncan had his “double caramel macchiato” line but I personally think Heather would like French Vanilla coffee, AND she’s a bean snob. She needs a rich ass ristretto made from good beans, she can taste bean quality. Like honestly she owns a French press and probably a cezve too. She also likes Turkish coffee most.
Gwen: I do not care what base coffee she gets I do not care what flavor, I do not care what proportion she gets milk to coffee; but I know, with all my heart, she likes OAT MILK. And her coffee is ICED. She thinks the oat milk makes her special. She takes her Prozac with it. But she is not special, she’s just gay.
Owen: Owen likes many things but I do not think coffee is one of them. He likes starbucks vanilla frappuccinos.
GEN TWO:
Staci: She’s definitely a boba girl, but honestly i think she’d be fine with most teas. She likes them with milk and fruit because it makes them look special and makes her look cultured
Dakota: I still hold true to the idea that she’s a seasonal drink enjoyer, but also she loves anything iced coffee. Especially white mochas, sweet = good
B: I still think they’d like plain teas because they’re calming and not too sweet, but I don’t think they’d turn down a plain coffee. I just don’t think they’d get super hyped on it
Dawn: Definitely a matcha liker. Also only drinks plant based milks and creamers, if she uses any at all. I don’t think she’d turn down any other tea though, they might like floral or fruity ones. He and B have tea enjoyer solidarity
Sam: Of course he’d prefer G-Fuel and just general energy drinks over everything, but if he was at a proper drink shop I think he’d take his coffee with milk and sugar. It’s not a big deal if he can’t get them, caffeine’s the priority, but he’d prefer them
Brick: He tries to drink espresso to contend with Jo and his military bros, but I think he’d really like fruit smoothies or fruity teas (maybe one with orange peel or vanilla) if he was allowed to have them
Anne Maria: Caramel Macchiato, easily, she likes it extra and she likes it sweet. I however retract my statement about her liking frappuccinos, I think she’d call them a pussy drink
Mike: He likes a generic vanilla iced coffee because he’s, you know, Mike, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if he put a little shot of whiskey in his morning cup for a little audacity
Chester: Black tea with lemon. He’s a tea guy, said what I said. Bitter, sour, easy. Also he probably couldn’t afford milk and sugar as a kid
Svetlana: Honestly I don’t think she’s a real drink girlie either, considering how she likes to stay in shape and also I don’t think she’d like the taste of coffee/tea. Maybe she’d like juices? Like with strawberries and mangos and greens.
Vito: Ristretto buddy, this guy can take down the nastiest bitterest tasting coffee and not even blink. It does make him bounce off the walls tho
Manitoba: I think he’d like an espresso/doppio, maybe a flat white? He just downs it, doesn’t care about the taste much. He’s eaten worse probably he’s like “hey it’s not dirt! woop woop!” and drinks a whole pot and runs around and picks up a squirrel with his teeth and dies
Mal: Normally I’d say black because “ooo he so edgy” but honestly I think he’d like a brown sugar latte or a cup of chai. He likes the flavors, strong flavors. That or Monster because he’s insane
Jo: Black coffee, but not for any like status reasons. It just tastes good to her
Scott: He only drinks shitty instant coffee, usually without sweetener or cream bc he didn’t have them growing up. It’s always boiling hot. And he hates every other drink.
Zoey: She does like a good iced coffee but I think she much prefers milk teas (esp with boba). Also I think she likes the Starbucks pink drink and Mal bullies her for it
Lightning: He would like a protein shake if it’s available, not a fan of coffee or tea. Maybe he’d drink a juice or smoothie but it would have to be heavily vegetable and/or spice based.
Cameron: The taste of coffee would kill him, and he’s grown up scared of milks and sweet drinks and nuts bc his mom only let him drink water out of fear of him developing diabetes or something. I think maybe Zoey and Mike would slowly warm him up to something lighter like green tea.
GEN THREE:
Beardo: He likes lavender tea with lemon and honey, it soothes his voice
Leonard: I think he’d like herbal teas and fruit juices, they’re like potions
Amy: I don’t know, maybe a white chocolate mocha or frappe? But I do know she screams at the baristas!
Rodney: I hold true to the fact that he memorizes everyone’s orders, rehearses his own order, and will drink whatever to be included— BUT I think his preference is fruit smoothies. He’s just too afraid to order them.
Sammy: Frappucinos, fruit teas, juices, milk teas, anything cold and sweet basically. She doesn’t really like coffee though
Ella: Similar to Sammy, likes strawberry-flavored drinks especially. They make her feel like a princess.
Topher: Latte macchiato. On a technical level he’s a bean snob also and specifies the beans he wants every time he orders, but he can’t taste the difference and honestly likes the cream better than the coffee.
Dave: Makes fun of “basic girl” coffee orders. He gets black coffee and hates it. He truthfully doesn’t like any drinks. Maybe a seltzer water.
Scarlett: A plain tea enjoyer. Peppermint, ginger, black; not a fan of fruity ones though.
Max: Plain milk, and it’s fucking gross
Jasmine: She likes savory or bitter drinks, mostly black coffee with cream but no sugar. I think she’d also like chai.
Sugar: An anti-tea advocate. But she does like instant coffee with sugar, a similar situation to Scott. And maybe she’ll drink straight half-and-half.
Sky: Likes green juices and ginger tea, she needs that health boost but isn’t a fan of protein powder or black coffee.
Shawn: He likes black coffee, but is trying to cut back on it because it makes him neurotic. I don’t think he’d really like any other drinks much.
GEN 4:
Tammy: Same as Leonard, but I also think she’d like boba and even some of the fruity Monsters
Pete: He’s way too proud of drinking pure black coffee because he’s an old man
Gerry: He one-ups Pete by drinking pure vodka because he’s petty
Ellody: She likes kombucha and will tell you all the gut benefits
Mary: Green tea, 100%. She likes how calming it is
Laurie: Chai tea, she thinks it’s like spiritual or some bs, and gets mad when people question her tastes
Miles: Matcha, she says a lot of bs about “extracting the earthy notes”. Has it really together here
Tom: Iced coffee as hell. You know him, pretentious
Jen: Smoothies, so many smoothies, and they taste so strong
Taylor: Has the most detailed coffee order. She tells you the temp, the order to pour it in, the five different syrups she wants, what milks to mix together, and she doesn’t tip you when you make it.
Kelly: Wine. She says wine every time you ask her what she wants to drink. She thinks it’s funny. It’s not
Jay: Has to drink water because he’s allergic to everything else
Mickey: Drinks that gross thick water stuff bc Jay doesn’t want him to aspirate and die or something
Chet: Muscle Milk
Lorenzo: Also Muscle Milk
Rock: Monster, and it makes him nuts
Spud: Monster, and he feels totally normal, and just drinks it for the taste
Dwayne: Says he likes straight black coffee, actually drinks coffee with cream and sugar in a closed cup
Junior: He’s not allowed to drink coffee or tea he just gets apple juice (he pretends it’s beer)
Ennui: Drinks cranberry juice and says it’s blood
Crimson: Drinks cranberry juice also and, get this, says it’s blood
Stephanie: Won’t go to drink shops bc she’s certain she can make her own drinks better than the shops can (she can’t)
Ryan: Protein shake again, if you fuck up his order he won’t say anything he will deal with it himself and drink the whole thing to avoid hurting your feelings
Devin: Tries Red Bull to impress people and throws up; he really likes mint tea
Carrie: Tries to drink tea and coffee for the aesthetic but the only drink she really likes is lemonade
Kitty: She doesn’t even go for frappucinos it’s just milk shakes and Virgin strawberry daiquiris, and she deserves it
Emma: A cortado. Tries not to go overboard and doesn’t like the taste of coffee too much. But she’s definitely had days where shes shoots like ten espressos and disassociates
Josee: French-press ristretto, she takes one cup every morning to remind herself that god is dead and give herself that angry passion for ice dancing
Jacques: Tries to drink a different tea every morning to see if they can calm him down; they do not work
Brody: He tries a new drink every day and usually only likes the fruity ones. Has definitely gotten food poisoning this way. Did drink bath water once
Sanders: Normal iced coffee. She’s…normal. Kind of.
MacArthur: A smoothie with peanut butter in it. Loves her gains, loves her nut butters
HOSTS:
Chris: I mean we all know, hot chocolate and tomato juice. I do think in terms of personality though he is a latte-drinker and bean snob
Chef: He likes himself a nice cold fruit drink. A virgin piña colada maybe. Or that shitty unicorn frappucino. But he also still likes a good shitty espresso
Blaineley: Iced tea. Hot take I think she fears most coffee drinks, which is sad, but accurate.
Josh: Idk does he have a personality? Sparkling juice in a champagne flute (carries it in his pocket everywhere; he has big pockets)
Don: A warm mocha, but tries not to make a big deal out of it (he does not succeed)
Like and follow for more epic content this took me several hours
EDIT I FORGOT ALEJANDRO AND SIERRA HOLD ON
Sierra: Anything super sugary and super caffeinated. I know she loves the pink Monster. But at a coffee shop, probably a caramel macchiato or a mocha Frappuccino
Alejandro: Usually he drinks a really pretentious brand of espresso or ristretto, maybe a chai, but once in a while he has a cheat day and has a caramel or cinnamon latte
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darks-ink · 2 years
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Matt the Cat
Based on the “Matt is a cat” AU by @somegrumpynerd and @keeningthoughts / @keen-arts. A lot of scenes and plot points are taken from their various posts, as well as some (bits of) conversation. I've really enjoyed seeing their posts cross my dash and while watching Uno: Infinite this weekend got inspired to take a shot at writing a short one-shot for the AU. Anyway I kinda missed the mark on the "short" part but it was fun, so. Enjoy!
Sometimes you just have to revisit the fandom that first got you to write fanfics, back in *checks watch* 2016. Anyway I also haven't written AH fics since then so apologies if I didn't quite get everyone right.
Fandom: Achievement Hunter (RPF) Rating: Gen Words: 8,699 Additional Tags: Fake AH Crew, Alternate universe, Humor, Friendship, Mistaken identity, Canon-typical shenanigans
Summary: Hearing the stories of new crew members Jeremy and Trevor, the Fakes quickly decided that this "Matt" must be their cat. It was the only logical assumption! They were mistaken.
Also on AO3!
---
The door clicked shut behind Trevor, and he looked at the people already in the room. The Fake AH Crew were a fearsome presence, even if he had already been accepted into their midst. Him, Jeremy, standing by his side, and Matt, safe at home.
“Finally,” the big man himself, Geoff Ramsey, sighed, waving the two of them further into the room. “Come on, grab a seat. We’ve been waiting forever.”
“Well, you could’ve sent the address a little earlier than five minutes beforehand,” Jeremy snarked back, then immediately went pale as they realized what they’d done.
But Jack Pattillo, the crew’s second, just grinned back. “I like these guys. We’re keeping them, right?”
“We hired them already, I sure fucking hope so.” Geoff shot her a tired look, beckoning them inwards. “Come on dickheads, go sit down.”
“You already gave them the address to our apartment anyway,” Michael Jones pointed out, leaning back in his chair. “Bit late to tell them to fuck off now.”
“Unless we killed them,” Jack said, fake-casually.
“Please don’t.” Trevor pulled back a chair so he could sit down, and saw Jeremy doing the same from the corner of his eye. “I like being alive, personally.”
Jack hummed thoughtfully. “And it’s just the two of you, right?”
“Us, and Matt back home,” Jeremy answered dutifully, shifting in their seat to look more casual than they likely felt. “We’re all sharing the same apartment.”
“Right,” she said, a slight crease between her brows. Trevor couldn’t place its meaning. He knew it wasn’t something about the three of them living together—the crew had a similar living situation—but he didn’t know what else. Maybe that Matt, as the hacker, was staying home instead of coming over to meet the rest of the crew? Maybe they should’ve brought him here, and then back home to his set-up?
“Anyway, Geoff, go ahead and tell us the plan before you burst.”
He heaved a gusty sigh. “Yes, Jack, thank you. If we can all please focus on the job instead of the new hires?” Geoff looked around the room, then nodded resolutely. “Good. Here’s what we’re doing—"
---
Lindsay shifted slightly, leaning against their car, fingers rattling against the side of their phone. On its screen a baking video played, which they were half paying attention to. Well. Maybe a little more than half. That was fine! They could multi-task.
It had been a few weeks since their new crew members, Trevor and Jeremy, had joined. They were glad for it—the two of them had been a lot of fun to have around, and had come out of their shells quickly. Trevor looked so serious and dry but had quickly shown himself to have quick wit and a delightful weirdness to him, and Lindsay wouldn’t say no to having another non-binary crewmember around, especially one as fun as Jeremy.
Not to mention the sheer chaos those two had introduced by mentioning someone called “Matt”, who apparently lived with them, and then never saying anything else about him. Well. They thought Matt was a him. Quite frankly, they didn’t know anything about this ‘Matt’, outside of the fact that he—they?—lived with Trevor and Jeremy.
The sound of a car door thrown shut made them look up, automatically pausing the video on their phone. Speak of the devil.
Trevor threw the other door of the car shut, turning to Jeremy. “Did you give Matt water before we left?”
“Yeah,” Jeremy confirmed, shouldering their bag. “He was sleeping on the desk again when I went in.”
“He’s gonna hurt himself one of these days doing that,” Trevor grumbled, shaking his head. “He has a perfectly fine bed!”
“But why sleep in a bed if you can sleep on a desk?” Jeremy grinned, and Trevor just clicked his tongue in response as the two of them came up to Lindsay. “Hey Lindsay. Sorry to keep you waiting.”
They stuffed their phone into their pocket, the newly gained information running through their mind. “It’s fine, that’s the downside of not having you guys in the apartment yet.”
It all made sense now! Obviously Matt wasn’t a person who Trevor and Jeremy were keeping in the dark—or had informed without telling the crew. Matt was a pet. And, by the sound of it, he might’ve been a cat, even! What other pet would sleep on desks?
“True, true.” Trevor nodded at the car they were still leaning against. “Are we driving further on from here?”
“Nah, it’s just around the corner.” They pushed themself away from the car, and mentally shoved the newly gained revelation away as well. Excitement about cats would have to wait until after the job. But! They would definitely bring it up with the rest. If they invited Trevor and Jeremy into the apartment with them, obviously the two would bring their cat, and then the crew would finally have their long-awaited pet!
And Gavin would be thrilled if they gained a crew cat!
---
“You can’t just keeping saying he’s a cat without proof, Lindsay!”
“Why not? It’s the truth!” They waved their hands around, gesturing wildly. “Besides, what proof? They said it, isn’t that enough?”
“Did they say Matt is a cat, though?” Gavin pointed out, frowning. He didn’t think Lindsay would lie about this on purpose, but, well. Sometimes things happened.
A lot of times things happened. This crew really wasn’t good at clear communication.
They rolled their eyes. “As good as. But if you don’t believe me, ask yourself.” They pointed. “See, there’s Jeremy.”
He followed their finger and, indeed, there was Jeremy. Gavin waved at them, “Oi, Jeremy! Come over for a sec, will you?”
“Uh, yeah, I got a moment.” They came over, looking between him and Lindsay. “What’s up, Gav?”
“You have a cat, right?” Lindsay asked, grinning at Jeremy. “Can we see a picture?”
Jeremy blinked, visibly confused. “Yeah…? I mean, sure.” They pulled their phone out of their pocket, swiftly unlocking it and swiping through the gallery.
“Let’s see… Oh, this is a good one.” They turned the phone around, showing the two of them the screen. On it was a photo of a longhaired tabby, lazing on a cat bed. “One of the few times I’ve been him actually using that cat bed.”
“Oh, what a cutie!” Lindsay complimented, adoration heavy in their voice. And Gavin had to agree. It was a very cute cat. He… He really kind of missed having a cat. Unfortunately neither he nor Lindsay had been able to convince Geoff to get a shared crew cat for the apartment. Or any kind of pet, really. Geoff kept countering that having the lot of them was basically the same as having pets.
“He’s great,” he chimed in. “Thanks Jeremy. If you guys ever move in, will you bring him?”
“That’s the plan.” Jeremy pocketed their phone again, looking between the two of them. “Uh. Was that all?”
He offered an awkward grin. “Yeah, sorry. We were just curious.”
“Ah, that’s fine. I wasn’t in a rush anyway.” Jeremy inclined their head. “But I’ll get going then. Have a good day, Gav, Lindsay.”
“You too! Thanks for showing us your cat!” Lindsay waved them goodbye, and they watched as Jeremy left. “See, I told you.”
Michael snorted, still lounging on a chair behind them. “Yeah Gav, they told you. That’s what you get for doubting Lindsay.”
“Like you believed them,” Gavin countered, rolling his eyes. “Come on. It’s not my bloody fault this crew is rife with miscommunication.”
“Well, not this time.” Lindsay pulled a haughty expression, looking down on him. “Next time, you’ll believe me right from the start.”
“Yeah, yeah, alright,” he agreed easily. “Next time, no matter how ridiculous, I won’t doubt you.”
---
“Ugh,” Geoff grumbled, pulling the next sheet of paper towards him. He had hired an entire team of people to deal with the boring bureaucratic part of running a criminal gang, and still he got tons of paperwork to deal with.
Stupid. Why had he ever agreed to this stupid idea. He should’ve just made Jack boss. She never had to deal with this bullshit anymore. He would’ve made a great right-hand man to her!
He looked at the paper. Ah. Crew payroll. At least this was easy. Just check over it to make sure everything made sense, then sign off on it. Easy peasy.
Oh, yeah. This was the first payroll since they hired Trevor and Jeremy, wasn’t it? He’d have to take a good look at it, then, to make sure everything was right. He trusted the B-team to do everything right, but this would be just the right moment to sneak something in.
Yep, both of their new crew members had been added. Good, good. And. Uh.
“Huh,” he muttered, frowning at the sheet of paper. A third new name had joined the list. Right between Jeremy and Trevor was Matt. As in. Their cat, Matt? He’d even been given the same kind of payout as Jeremy and Trevor, as a new full-time crew member.
“That… makes no sense.” He heaved a sigh, then pushed himself up from his desk. He’d probably been working too long. Time to get a reality check from his beloved second.
Barely remembering to grab the crew’s payroll before leaving his office, he wandered over to the living room. There he found Jack and Michael, playing a game on the tv. Instead of looking what they were doing, he just held out the sheet of paper, blocking her view. “Jack.”
“Geoffrey,” she responded, leaning to the side to look around the paper. “I’m kind of in the middle of something.”
“So am I.” He shook the paper, the sound of it lost over the noise of the tv. “Why are we paying a cat?”
“Huh?” She looked away from the tv for a moment, then swore as Michael cackled. “Why are you asking me? B-team takes care of all that stuff.”
Michael snorted over the sound of his mashing buttons on a controller. “That cat must be doing good work, Geoff.”
“Must be,” Jack agreed absent-mindedly, leaning a little further to the side. “Geoff, seriously, move.”
He looked between the two of them, then back to the sheet of paper. “Unbelievable,” he muttered, but stepped away. Apparently he was the only one in this goddamn crew who thought it was weird they were including a cat in their payroll.
Well. Whatever. He still had plenty of boring paperwork to work through. If he spent any time on figuring out this bullshit he’d just lose even more time to it. As long as that goddamn cat wasn’t earning more than the rest of the crew it wasn’t worth the hassle.
He dropped the paper back onto his desk and signed it with a flourish.
---
“—so we’re mostly casual about the stuff here,” Lindsay explained as they showed him the kitchen in the crew’s shared apartment. “Like, don’t touch anything that anybody signed, but otherwise it’s pretty much a free game.”
“Right.” Alfredo nodded. “Even though I don’t live here?”
“Well, it’s not like you’re the only one,” they pointed out, quirking an eyebrow at him. “Trevor and Jeremy have been with us for months and they’re still living in their own apartment. Besides,” they paused to give him a look, “you’ll probably lose your own stuff to the crew as well when you put it in there.”
“Fair enough.” He looked away at the rustling of a jacket to see Trevor coming up to them.
“You’re good taking care of Fredo’s introduction alone, right, Lindsay?” he asked as he pulled on his coat.
They hummed. “Yeah, I’ve got it.” Trevor nodded and turned around.
“Oh, and Trevor,” they interrupted him, waiting a moment for him to turn back around. “Please tell Matt he’s a good boy for me?”
“Yeah, of course,” Trevor agreed easily, nodding again. “I’ll head out then. See you two tomorrow.”
“See you,” Alfredo replied automatically, as he turned that conversational twist in his mind. Tell Matt he was a good boy…? Who the hell was Matt?
Lindsay, clearly picking up on his thoughts, shot him a wide grin. “Matt is Trevor and Jeremy’s cat, and he’s the main reason why they haven’t moved into the apartment yet. There’s a little more logistics involved in moving in two people and their cat, especially if all three are used to sharing a tiny apartment.”
“Right,” he agreed. That made sense. “And you just… ask them to tell their cat he’s a good boy for you?”
“Oh yeah, absolutely.” They shrugged, unrepentant. “That, or I ask them to give him a hug for me. Man, I can’t wait for them to move in. I really want to give that cat a pat myself.”
“You haven’t met him?” he asked skeptically, quirking a brow. “How do you know he’s a good cat?”
“All cats are good cats, duh.” They winked. “And I’ve seen photos, and heard the boys talking about him. Great cat.”
Well, fair enough. He couldn’t argue with that.
---
Jeremy dropped another empty box on the floor of Matt’s office. “There, do you think that’s enough?”
“Should be,” he agreed, spinning around on his chair. “If not we’ll have to grab another box or two. Do we have enough for the rest of the house?”
“Trevor is coming back with a few more boxes, that should do the trick.” They looked over the boxes littered around the office, some half-filled with stuff that could be packed away already. “You got us a storage box to put the house stuff in, right?”
Matt gasped dramatically. “Jeremy, you doubt me? I said I would take care of it and I did.”
“Just making sure,” they assured him, rolling their eyes. “You’re almost done with that hacking thing, right? So we can focus on packing afterwards?”
“Yeah, the last thing is running now. After that it’s just the finishing touches and that should be that.”
“Good, good.” The lock of their front door rattled, and Jeremy tensed for a moment before recognizing the sound of a key in the lock. “Hey Treh.”
“Hey Jer,” Trevor called back from the door, soon followed by the click of the door and then the sound of cardboard hitting the floor. “Thanks for letting me in.”
“No problem man,” they said, grinning at him as he walked in the office. “Everything went well?”
Trevor hummed. “Yeah. They’ll clear out a room for us tomorrow, and one for Fredo as well. Oh, also…”
He leaned over, patting Matt on the head. “That’s from Gavin. He asked me to tell you you’re a “good good boy”.”
“Oh.” Matt grinned wide, a pleased expression on his face. “Thanks. I should tell everyone thanks once we’re there. They’ve been so nice to us.”
“Especially to you,” Trevor said, clicking his tongue. “Maybe I want to be told I’m a good boy for once instead of always acting like the messenger.”
“You are a good boy, Trevor.” Jeremy grinned at him, even as they were connecting the dots in their head. Oh my god. The reason why everyone in the crew was acting so weird was because they thought Matt was a cat. That is why Lindsay and Gavin had asked to see their cat all that time ago.
Oh, this was just too funny! They would have to make sure that no one saw Matt during the move. It had been almost six months since they had joined the crew and no one had figured it out yet. If they kept that up while living in the same apartment…
They hastily shoved down their chuckles. Couldn’t let Trevor and Matt in on the joke. Their reactions would be so good if they found out at the same time as the crew.
“We should make sure Buddy stays in the office,” they pointed out, during the lull in conversation. “At least that first week or so, until he’s settled in.”
“Oh, yeah, good idea,” Trevor agreed, nodding. “Wouldn’t want him to get in anyone’s way.”
“Except mine, apparently,” Matt grumped half-heartedly. “But yeah. That way he won’t accidentally escape the apartment either. And having a familiar person and place will probably help.”
“Exactly.” Alright. Step one: complete. Oh, this was so exciting!
---
Lindsay reclined further in their chair, casually swiping at their phone screen to scroll. Opposite of them Trevor was sitting more neatly, but equally casual, leafing through a book. It had only been a few days since he and Jeremy had moved in, but already they wandered around the house like they had lived there for months.
Well, not entirely surprising, considering that they’d been around for months already, but still. The only sad part was that they hadn’t seen Matt yet. Apparently the cat was staying in their room for now.
They hear a door open and looked up automatically; Michael was supposed to be done soon with his job. But as they did so, they realized that’s not what they heard. The front door had a different sound to it, a click of the lock being undone and re-locked. This was the sound of one of the room doors.
Trevor looked up from his book as well, and together they watch a bedraggled long-haired man wander out of the hallway with bedrooms. The man, seeing them looking, waved as he headed towards the kitchen.
Before they can say anything, Trevor called out to him, “Make sure to grab a snack while you’re out there, Matt!”
“Yeah,” the man—Matt?!?—called back, “I was planning to.”
“Okay, just making sure.” And with that, Trevor just turned back to his book. Zero comment.
Lindsay looked back to the kitchen once more, taking in the man standing there. Long dark hair, big loose clothing, casually grabbing a snack to go with his refilled bottle of water.
Huh. Matt must be some kind of werecat, then. Sometimes a cat, sometimes a human person. But if no one had mentioned it clearly they didn’t want to talk about it, and, well. Lindsay wasn’t rude enough to ignore that.
Buuuut they can bring it up later when Gavin gets back. He would hear her out, no problem.
---
Alfredo grunted, blinking up at his ceiling. Not that he could see it in the dark, but still. Goddamn him.
No. Goddamn Lindsay and Gavin for those stupid damn stories. For days they’ve been telling everyone in the crew—bar Jeremy and Trevor—about Matt the cat not being an actual cat but a fucking werecat. Like, really?
But apparently the thought had wormed its way into his head anyway, because he can’t stop thinking about it now. He had started thinking that they’re pulling some kind of elaborate prank on him, because those two had moved in at the same time as him yet he hadn’t seen their cat in the past few days, but no, apparently not. Because today a long-haired brown cat had run out of their room, only to be grabbed by Jeremy and escorted back in, chastised for leaving. And Alfredo knew he heard Jeremy say the name Matt when they went into their room.
Ugh. Well, if he’s up he might as well grab himself a drink from the kitchen. It was—he looked at his alarm—way past midnight, so no one else should be up. That should save him from an awkward conversation.
He rolled out of bed, yawning widely and he pulled open his door. At least there was enough ambient light in the apartment itself that he didn’t need to turn on any lights. The last thing he needed now was to wake himself up even further with that bullshit.
But, really. A werecat? Their only evidence was that Lindsay had apparently seen Matt as a long-haired man, and that Trevor had greeted him by name. Gavin, despite the vehemence with which he agreed with Lindsay, apparently didn’t even have any proof himself. He just believed them without a doubt.
Unbelievable, Alfredo thought to himself, and then realized there was already someone in the kitchen just before he stepped inside.
He yelped, throwing his hand over his mouth immediately to muffle the sound.
On the other side of the open doorway the burglar(?) jerked, startled by the sound, almost dropping whatever they were holding in their hand. A… bottle? Huh.
“Oh my god,” the man gasped out, quiet as a whisper. “Alfredo, you scared the shit out of me.”
“What—?” he hissed back, automatically matching volume. What kind of intruder would say that? Or know his name?
“Just grabbing a drink,” the man held up the bottle of water. The… The long-haired man. Oh, no. No no no. “Sorry, I need to finish up some hacking stuff for tomorrow. Talk later?”
“Uh, yeah, sure man,” he replied automatically, taking in the stranger’s appearance. Fuck him. Lindsay had been right. There was the undeniable evidence: the man with long dark hair, matching the cat he’d seen exactly.
What the fuck.
He definitely should’ve stayed in fucking bed, fuck him.
---
Jeremy leaned back in their chair, watching the tv with the rest of the crew. The game they had been playing had turned extremely competitive, with plenty of yelling and screaming, and Jeremy had bailed so they could oversee the chaos.
Specifically, so they could see the incoming chaos Matt was about to bring, since the yelling was sure to draw him out.
They had been feeding the flames all week, and still no one had properly connected the dots. They had moved in while the rest of the crew was away on a sudden mission, and Matt had mostly been busy in his new office—their shared room—ever since.
There had been a close call a day or two ago, when Buddy had escaped from their room, but luckily Jeremy had been able to grab him and bring him back before Matt could. If those two had been seen together the game would’ve surely been over.
Honestly, luck had been on their side anyway. Lindsay had apparently seen him but assumed he was a werecat, of all things, and Gavin had just? gone with their assumption. For some reason. And then, a few days later, Alfredo had also seen Matt and, instead of refuting Lindsay’s assumption, and given in and gone along with them.
It was better than Jeremy could’ve planned themself. Absolutely brilliant.
Either way, things were surely coming to an end… because there came Matt. No one else had seen him yet, too focused on playing or watching the ongoing game.
He stood behind the couch, looming over Gavin, Michael, Geoff, and Jack. And then, completely unknowing of what he was about to unleash, very casually asked, “Hey guys, who’s winning?”
They were glad that they had braced themself, because the ensuing screaming was deafening. Even Trevor yelled, probably startled by everyone else. Matt himself jerked back several steps. Hell, Geoff startled so badly he threw himself off of the couch entirely, and Gavin had crawled half on top of Michael.
This was so good. They were so glad they had hung back to watch this happen.
“Hey Matt,” they casually greeted, ignoring the cacophony and barely holding in their laughter.
“See!” Lindsay yelled, suddenly, victoriously, pointing a finger at Matt. “See! I told you guys he was a werecat!”
“A what?” Matt blinked at them, even as Michael shoved Gavin off of his lap and onto Geoff, ignoring the resulting squawking. “Huh?”
Trevor twitched, blinking in confusion. “Yeah, what the hell are you talking about?”
No longer could they hold it in. Jeremy burst out in cackling laughter, and soon enough Matt begun chuckling along, cautiously.
“Get off me, idiot,” Geoff grumbled, pushing Gavin off of himself so he could get up. “Someone help me up.”
“You’re not that old, Geoffrey,” Jack complained, but offered him a hand anyway. “Can someone please explain to me what the fuck is happening?”
“I honestly couldn’t tell you.” Matt shook his head, looking over at Trevor, and then at Jeremy themself, still laughing. “But I think I know who’s responsible for it.”
“Am not!” they immediately denied. “I just found out a week ago, before we moved in. And I haven’t even done anything! The stories fed themselves.”
Geoff found his balance standing up, then stared at Matt for a long moment. “Well,” he finally said, “I guess that this makes more sense than having a cat on the payroll.”
“You thought I was a cat?” Matt asked incredulously. Then, looking at the expressions of everyone around the room, he repeated, louder, “You all thought I was a cat?”
“Well! We all saw the bloody cat, didn’t we!” Gavin gestured wildly, still lying on the floor where Geoff had dumped him. “It just made sense!”
Matt blinked down at him. “The cat? You mean Buddy? You all thought I was Buddy?”
Lindsay gasped. “His name is Buddy? That’s adorable!”
“How did no one here realize?” Trevor blinked at everyone, wide-eyed. “For six months, none of you realized that Matt was a human, or that he was our hacker. Who did you guys think was doing all that work?”
“Uh.” Everyone looked over at Geoff, who shrugged. “I guess I didn’t really think about it. B-team probably hired someone, or something.”
Behind him on the couch, Jack groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Geoff. Really?”
“What? I was right, wasn’t I?” He gestured over at Matt. “Someone got hired to take care of it. All good!”
“I still can’t believe everyone in this crew thought I was a cat.” Matt shook his head. “I mean—Gavin, we’ve been texting for weeks.”
Gavin, in the middle of getting up from the floor, squawked defensively. “Well! I thought it was just Jeremy having a laugh, pretending to text as the cat! We just texted “meow” back and forth!”
“Wait, wait, wait.” Michael waved Gavin down. “So then why haven’t we seen the cat around?”
“Because he’s been in our room?” Matt shrugged, casually. “We didn’t want him to—Wait a second. Jeremy, you were the one to suggest keeping him in the room so no one would realize!”
“But you all agreed with my reasoning!” they countered, grinning widely. “It made sense!”
“Well, I think we should get to see the cat now. As compensation.” Lindsay opened their arms, as if expecting them to just place Buddy in their arms. “Come on.”
“Yeah, one sec.” Matt shook his head even as he turned around to go back to their room. Moments later he returned, Buddy lounging in his arms. “See? Not the same thing.”
Trevor leaned closer from his chair, exaggeratedly looking Matt over. “I don’t know Matt. You do look a lot alike.”
“Oh, fuck you, Trevor.”
---
Matt’s fingers stilled over the keyboard as he activated his new program’s test run. There, now he could just sit back and wait for a moment.
He still couldn’t believe that he worked as the Fakes’ hacker for six months without them knowing he was a human person. Six months! And the only people who had known he wasn’t cat were Jeremy, Trevor, and the B-team, apparently. Fucking unbelievable.
Well. Maybe a little believable, he supposed.
A knock on his door broke him out of his thoughts, and he spun around on his chair. “Come in, it’s open.”
“Heya Matt,” Lindsay greeted him as they came in, hands held strangely behind themself. “You got a minute?”
“Sure?” he answered cautiously, glancing back at his computer for a moment. “What’s up?”
“Here, I got you a little something!” They shoved the thing into his hands the moment he lifted them. Something soft and furry, and—
It was a cat plushy. A very cute, very fluffy plush cat.
He looked at the plush in his hands—so soft!—and then back at Lindsay, who cracked up into giggles.
“Thank you?” he said when they settled down some.
“It’s because we all thought you were a cat all this time.” They gestured at the plushy. “So it’s a little something to make up for it, since I’m the one who started it, I think.”
“Oh, well, it’s fine.” He tucked the plush closer to himself. It really was very nice to hold. “I mean. It’s kinda silly, but it’s hardly the worst thing that could’ve happened.”
“Yeah, well.” They shrugged. “It is pretty funny in hindsight. But I saw that plushy and I thought, hey, why not. Matt would probably like it.”
He smiled back at them. “I do, thank you.” He reached over, settling the plush on his desk next to his monitors. “And Lindsay? Thank you for the compliments and the hugs.”
They laughed, opening their arms. “Yeah, no problem man. You want a direct hug?”
“Well,” he said, drawing out the word as he got up out of his chair. “I’m not saying no to that.”
---
Jeremy leaned against a wall, quickly checking the clip in their pistol. They hoped they wouldn’t need to use it, but better to be prepared than to be caught off-guard.
“Oh, shit,” Matt muttered over the coms. “Uh. I said that wrong. My bad. You should’ve taken the right turn instead of the left.”
“Matt, you motherfucker,” Geoff snarled in the comm, clearly struggling to keep his voice down so they wouldn’t attract the attention of the police. “What the fuck do you mean you sent us the wrong way!”
“I was looking at the wrong thing, sorry!” He sounded genuinely apologetic, but it was clearly too late from the way Geoff was seething. “It’s fine. Just a little further. Follow the alley and then take a right at the end.”
They quickly continued walking, but Gavin was already reaching up to unmute his own mic. “Matt, how did you send us down the wrong way, Matt! It’s just left and right!”
“I was looking at the wrong thing! I said sorry, didn’t I!”
And, well. That was definitely the wrong thing to say. Jeremy threw a quick look over at Geoff, and found him visibly boiling over. They lowered their hand back to their pistol, but hopefully they were far enough away from the police that Geoff’s shouting wouldn’t alert them.
Jeremy tuned out of the screaming earful from Geoff—fed by Gavin and Jack—but kept half an ear on the comm. Just enough that he could hear Matt’s heavy sigh, followed by the quiet mutter of, “I miss being a cat.”
Despite themself they cracked up, laughter cutting off the shouting from the rest of the crew. Oops. Apparently they hadn’t muted their own mic. Everyone fell silent, watching them lose it over a comment none of them heard.
“What did we say that was so bloody funny?” Gavin asked, frowning at them.
“Sorry,” they apologized as they caught their breath again, shaking their head to get their focus back. “Just something Matt said. I’m good. Let’s go.”
They should’ve realized that that would just encourage Matt.
---
BK winced as Geoff’s voice echoed around her, bouncing off of the alley walls just off from his actual voice in her comm. She wished she could turn the comm off, but it wouldn’t do to miss critical instructions. Her admittance into the crew was too new to risk over something like this.
Besides, he wasn’t even yelling at her. And, despite the volume he was reaching, he didn’t even sound that mad. It was more theatrical than anything.
Probably.
She leant around the corner, spotting Trevor opposite of her, hidden behind a stack of boxes. Seeing her in turn, he gave her a thumb’s up and a reassuring smile, and she gladly returned the favor. See? All good.
A weary sigh rattled over the comm, and she winced again, this time in sympathy. It seemed that Matt, for all that he stayed back home as the hacker, caught a lot of Geoff’s ire. Maybe being away from the action made it worse, instead of better.
“Man,” the man in question huffed. “You were so much nicer when I was a cat.”
When—Huh? When he what?
Sudden gunshots interrupted her thoughts. Fuck. Alright, that thought was getting shelved until after the mission. Focus now.
The moment they returned back to the base, however, the topic immediately sprung back into her mind. As she put away her weapons and body armor, the thought kept circling around in her head. What did it mean?
Stepping back out into penthouse proper—the shared Crew home, for all she didn’t yet live there—she set out to get answers. But who could she ask?
Oh! There was Ky! She had been around a little longer than BK herself, so maybe she would know. At the very least, she wasn’t one of the old guard who would surely use this as a pranking opportunity.
“Hey Ky,” BK greeted the moment she was close enough. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure?” Ky turned to face her. “Did something happen during the mission?”
“Kinda.” She made a dubious face. “I heard Matt say something weird. Like… Not normal for this crew weird.”
Ky’s face dropped into a frown, and BK immediately followed it up with, “He said something about the rest of the crew being nicer when he was a cat?”
“He—Huh?” Ky’s expression cleared up immediately—and straight into confusion. “He said that?”
“Right?” BK threw up her hands, feeling exasperation flood through her. “I mean, what does that even mean?”
“When he was a cat…” Ky repeated, under her breath, brow creased. “When he was a cat…”
“Where did you hear that?” a hushed voice interrupted them, and BK jerked away—and saw Ky do the same opposite of her.
Standing next to them was Jeremy, wide-eyed and grim-faced. “Seriously! Be quiet about that, where did you hear that?”
“Matt muttered it over the comms earlier today.” BK felt her heart drop. What was going on in this crew? “Why? What did he mean?”
Jeremy looked around, shiftily, and BK found herself doing the same automatically. But the hallway was clear. Just the three of them.
“Look, Matt doesn’t like to talk about it, okay? Top secret. No one gets to know about it.” They met her eyes first, then Ky’s, deadly serious. “No one.”
“We wouldn’t tell!” Ky immediately exclaimed, then grimaced and lowered her voice. “Jeremy, we wouldn’t, you know that.”
They stared them down for a moment longer, then nodded, slowly. “Alright, fine. But I’m serious—Matt doesn’t want to talk about it. Keep it quiet, okay?”
“Promise,” BK said, and she heard Ky’s voice echoing with her own.
Jeremy nodded once more, then gestured for them to lean in closer. “Okay, so you two know that Trevor, Matt, and I were hired at the same time, yeah? We all lived in the same apartment at the time. And it took a while for us to be moved in because of it, so it took six months until we could move in, at the same time as Alfredo.”
“Right,” Ky said, slowly.
“And it was before we used long-distance comms, so no one but me and Trevor knew about Matt. For six months, none of them saw him, none of them heard his voice, nothing. Just the two of us, whenever we came home from our missions.”
BK couldn’t help but feel sorry for him, even more so than earlier that day. Six months with barely any human contact, and now he got yelled at by Geoff? Harsh.
“And just when we were about to move in, something big interrupted, and everyone had to focus on crew work. So the three of us, we just moved in on our own, without anyone seeing. And then Matt had to get back to work immediately again, having to stay in his new office—our shared room—the entire time.”
Add a little more sorry to that previous count. Yikes.
“So… A few days after we got there, we might’ve had a little unwanted break-out.” Jeremy shrugged their shoulders, a forced smile on their face. “And a cat came running out of his office. Which of course the others saw, and, well. You can imagine what went down.”
“But, wait.” Ky frowned, and BK felt her own mind trip over the vagueness with which Jeremy had told the story. “You mean that long-haired tabby that wanders around the base?”
“That’s the one,” Jeremy confirmed, smiling softly. “So, yeah. It’s a whole thing, and Matt doesn’t like to talk about it, so. Keep it quiet, yeah?”
“Of course,” BK assured them, even if she wasn’t quite sure what to keep quiet, exactly. “Thanks for telling us, Jeremy.”
They nodded. “Yeah, no problem. Better than letting the confusion cause problems. If there’s any pressing concerns, come ask me, okay?”
“We will,” Ky promised, and they watched Jeremy wander off before she leaned closer to BK. “So… Did you get what exactly was up with Matt?”
“No, not really,” she admitted, grimacing. “I guess he… was a cat? For a while? Somehow?”
“What, like a werecat?” Ky shook her head. “How does that even make sense?”
“Well, I don’t know!” BK snapped back, throwing her hands up. “Maybe he was cursed to be cat until the crew fixed him, or something!”
“Shh,” Ky hissed immediately, and they looked around quickly, but no one was nearby. Phew. “Well, then he might as well have been a cat originally, until he got turned into a human.”
BK hummed. “I don’t think that that works in the story. Wait. Or does it?”
“How would I know?” Ky fell silent, face twisting. “Oh my god. I’ve definitely petted him before.”
“You have?”
“Yes! Lindsay was holding him and making kissy faces and then told me I should give him a pat! How was I supposed to know otherwise!”
“Oh my god,” BK groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. “This is too much.”
They stood there in silence for a moment, processing.
“We should tell Joe.” Ky met BK’s gaze when she snapped it over to her. “Okay, I know Jeremy said to keep it quiet, but! He’s going to find out eventually, and I’m not going to be able to keep quiet if I see him petting Matt.”
“Okay, true.” BK clicked her tongue. “Well. It should be okay right, to make sure he doesn’t ask Matt about it?”
“Yeah! Yeah, see, that makes sense,” Ky agreed nodding. “Alright. Let’s just. Go do that. Then.”
“Yes. Let’s, uh. Do that.”
---
Jeremy’s fingers tapped out a silent rhythm on the side of their phone. The moment they had stepped away from Ky and BK they had texted Lindsay to let them in on the shenanigans that had just been unleashed, and now they regularly texted with ideas on how to stoke the flames further.
Luckily Lindsay had agreed to keep it quiet from everyone else. Hopefully Ky and BK would do the same, because Jeremy really wanted to see everyone’s reactions when they found out the whole thing had happened again.
Although, admittedly, they were kind of curious to hear what those two had thought up. They had intentionally left their story very open, but still. The options were pretty limited, weren’t they?
Their phone buzzed in their hand, and they looked down. Ooh, a great new idea from Lindsay. Baking cookies shaped like cat treats to give to Matt? Brilliant!
Rapidly texted Lindsay back, they hadn’t even noticed Joe creeping up on them until he awkwardly cleared his throat.
Quickly dimming their screen, they looked up at him. “Hey Joe, what’s up?”
“You, uh.” He looked around the otherwise-empty room, the very picture of shifty, then continued at a lower tone. “You said we could ask you about Matt’s… thing.”
“His thing,” they repeated drily.
“Yeah, you know, the. Uh.” Joe stuck up a finger on each side of his head, wiggling them slightly. Like cat ears, Jeremy supposed. “You know?”
Pressing a fist to their mouth to stifle their laughter, they nodded slightly. “The cat thing? Yes. Who told you?”
“BK and—Uh. I mean. No one.” Joe cleared his throat again, awkwardly looking away. “I definitely found out on my own.”
“Sure.” They shook their head. Definitely something to keep in mind, the poor acting skills of some of the newer crew members. You never know when those kind of things come in handy! “You had a question about it?”
He nodded, shuffling a little on his feet. “Yeah, so he’s like, a werecat, right? Sometimes a human and sometimes a cat?”
Interesting. Was that the consensus that they had reached, or was that just what Joe had decided was the truth? Either way, they gestured for him to keep talking.
“So what I was wondering, um. Is he always fully human, or fully cat, or…?”
“What, like does he keep cat-like traits when he’s human, or something?” They quirked a brow at him, using the pause to quickly search through their brain. Stoke the flames, stoke the flames… “Hm. Well, you know how it is with weres: never fully one or the other.”
“So he’s like…” Joe gestured vaguely, like he was trying to grab at concepts he couldn’t reach. “A little cat?” he settled on, weakly.
“Oh yeah, for sure” they said, casually reclining on their chair. “Haven’t you noticed how he’s always prowling the base at night? That’s the were-zoomies.”
They watched Joe mouth the word ‘were-zoomies’, stifling the grin that threatened to break out on their face. Yes. Yes. Go on, fall for it.
“Right,” Joe said, slowly, like he was testing the word. “That makes sense. Uh. Sorry for bothering you with this.”
“It’s fine,” they assured him, flapping their hand. “Just make sure to keep it quiet from the rest, yeah? Especially Matt, he doesn’t like talking about it much.”
“Uh huh.” Joe nodded. “And I guess you’d know best anyway, since you’ve known him longest.”
“Exactly,” they agreed easily. “Was that all?”
“Yeah. Uh, yeah.” He shifted on his feet again. “Thanks, Jeremy. Again.”
“No problem,” they repeated, even as Joe turned around to walk away. They waited another moment or two, until they were sure that he was leaving—and that he’d really fallen for it—and then turned on their phone again to resume texting Lindsay.
They would love the new twist that had just been added to the story.
---
Idly watching a program run on the monitor in front of him, Matt hummed. “Hey, Trevor.”
“Hey Matt,” Trevor echoed dutifully, sitting on the bed behind him, Buddy in his lap.
“Do you think the new crew members have been acting weird around me?”
Because he was pretty sure they were acting weird. At first he had just assumed it was nerves over joining the crew, but then he realized it was only around him. Like they became instantly transfixed on him whenever he entered a room any of them were in.
“I don’t know.” Trevor sounded doubtful, and Matt spun around to find him frowning. “I haven’t noticed anything, but I haven’t really been paying attention to it, I guess.”
Matt hummed. “I guess I’m just worried I’m spending too much time in the office again, you know?”
“Honestly, you haven’t been that bad.” Trevor leant further back, and they both watched in silence as Buddy stretched out further in the newly gained space. “Maybe that’s why? You’re just around more to notice it, now that we’re not the new guys.”
“Maybe,” he said, doubtfully. “I don’t know. It just seems kind of weird. The last time people were acting all strange around me was, you know, when we moved in.”
“And we wouldn’t want a repeat from that.” Trevor laughed, then fell silent as he saw the look on Matt’s face. “Matt. You’re not seriously thinking about it.”
“What? It happened once, it could’ve happened again.” He shook his head. “Besides, Jeremy is absolutely the type to feed the new guys a made-up story of me being a werecat. They definitely didn’t get their fill of chaos last time around.”
“It’s not like they would’ve needed to do that.” Trevor clicked his tongue, chastising. “You still regularly grumble about missing your old cat life. It’s not like that couldn’t have caused some strange thoughts.”
Matt spluttered, “Now hold on—”
“Besides,” Trevor cut him off, mercilessly. “You also responded to Lindsay going “pspspsps” over the comms just a few days. By muting everyone else and focusing exclusively on them.”
He stared down Matt, as if daring him to defend himself again. When he didn’t, Trevor sniffed. “See? Perfectly normal reasons why people might think you’re a werecat, again, without Jeremy having done anything.”
“Right,” he agreed. Trevor kind of had a point. He did do all of those things. “But consider this: these are exactly the kind of shenanigans that Jeremy is all about.”
Trevor visibly thought about it. Then nodded. “True, true. Guess we’ll see how it all turns out, then.”
---
Paper rustled loudly as Gavin dug through the pile of wrapped presents still left in the middle of their circle. From the sidelines most of the crew was shouting at him to hurry up, either because they wanted to receive their own presents, or because they wanted to see the reactions to what they had given.
Jack just shuffled in deeper into the couch she had claimed. Some of the newer crew members might’ve been feeling uncertain about their picks—it was their first Secret Santa since Jeremy, Trevor, and Matt had joined, after all—but she knew she had made an excellent choice.
Gavin exclaimed victoriously over having found the present he’d been looking for, holding it up proudly. And then groaned when he read the label: addressed to Matt.
Smiling satisfied, she watched him accept the present. Good.
“What is it, Matt?” Joe called loudly the moment Matt begun opening the present, clearly stoked on by Alfredo sitting next to him.
“Give me a moment!” Matt called back, carefully taking apart the paper. And clearly going slow on purpose, based on the way he was grinning at the exasperated—and dramatic—groans around him.
And then he gasped, having seen the contents of his present.
Michael, sitting next to him, leaned to take a look. And then made a face. “What the hell is that?”
“It’s great is what it is!” Matt lifted up his gift to show it to the rest. And Jack knew she’d made the right choice the moment she saw it, but seeing Matt’s wide grin now filled her with pride nonetheless.
In Matt’s hands, he held a knitted sweater. An unbelievably obnoxious, very ugly, and very grandma-style knitted sweater. With a cat theme.
“I love it!” he exclaimed, even as Jeremy, on his other side, made a loud gagging noise. “Wait—”
And then he pulled it on over the hoodie he’d been wearing, wiggling slightly to get it to sit right. And just as she had guessed, it was just slightly oversized for him.
“Oh, it’s so nice.” Matt rubbed one arm of the sweater, plucking at it slightly. “It’s so warm and soft! I love it. Thank you, Secret Santa!”
“It’s atrocious,” Jeremy spat out like they couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Matt, look at it!”
“I am looking at it.” Matt grinned at Jeremy like a cat who’d gotten the cream. “Here, just feel it, Jeremy. Gimme a pat.”
Jeremy rolled their eyes but obliged, patting Matt’s arm briefly. Then they sighed. “Yeah, alright, I’ll give you that. It’s very soft.”
“Told you.” Matt shook his arms slightly, letting the too-long sleeves fall over his hands. “Oh, right, my turn to pick a present. Hm, let’s see…”
---
Matt absentmindedly twirled the glass in his hand, watching the liquid in it swish around. Ever since he and Trevor had realized that BK, Ky, and Joe thought he was a—a werecat or something, he had become aware of just how much they stared at him. It was like, equal parts fascinated and terrified. So probably werecat then? Were they thinking about him just suddenly turning into a cat in front of them, or something?
He didn’t know, and quite frankly, he had no idea how to ask.
Up went the glass as he took a drink from it. Nope, still no idea.
And the three of them were still staring, on the other side of the table.
Really, when Trevor had suggested that Matt just go out with them for a night to find a way to bring it up, he’d thought that Trevor would’ve come along. But nooo, that would’ve been too easy, huh? Had to go and do this all alone.
How the fuck were you supposed to start a conversation about this, anyway?
“So,” BK blurted out suddenly, leaning forward on her elbows, “When you turn into a cat, does that hurt? Like, is that why you never do it?”
“When I what?” he answered automatically, somehow feeling caught off-guard despite wanting to get into this exact conversation.
Also, apparently that is how you start a conversation about this kind of stuff. He’d consider it good to know, but he was really kind of hoping not to get into this situation a third time.
Groaning, he pinched his nose. “I’m not a werecat, or whatever Jeremy told you three.”
“But the—the were-zoomies.” Joe gestured around the last word as if to emphasize it.
“The what?” He shook his head, setting the thought aside. “Look. I don’t know what Jeremy convinced you three of, but I can guarantee you it’s not real. Although I guess that that does explain why Buddy has been begging for more attention from the rest of us…”
“Buddy?” Ky repeated cautiously.
“Yeah. Buddy the cat.” He pulled up a photo on his phone, even though he was sure they all knew exactly who he was talking about. “See? That’s our cat. Mine, Jeremy’s, and Trevor’s, before we moved in with the rest of the crew. I’m sure you’ve seen him around.”
“But—But—” BK spluttered, and then fell silent when he swiped over to a photo of him holding Buddy. “Oh.”
“Yeah, exactly.” He rolled his eyes, tucking his phone away again. “Honestly, it’s kind of unbelievable this happened again. Although I guess it doesn’t really count if Jeremy orchestrated this on purpose…”
“But I heard you complain about missing being a cat!” BK gestured at him. “What does that even mean!”
He nodded slowly. “I assume Jeremy told you about how, when I first joined the crew, no one saw or heard me? They only knew me by name? So, somehow, they wrongly start to think—"
---
“JEREMY!”
They looked up from the game they had been playing. Was that BK? Hadn’t she gone out with Ky, Joe, and Matt?
The door slammed open, and they spun around on their chair. Standing in the opening were all three of the new crew members. The crew members they had tricked into thinking Matt was a werecat.
“So uh.” They looked between the three fuming crew members. “You figured it out, huh?”
“I’m going to kill you!” BK snarled, making grabbing hands at them from where she still stood. “You asshole! Months!”
“Oh yeah, you really fell for it.” They giggled, ignoring the way the three of them crept further into the room. “But hey, now you get to join the club with the rest of crew! You’re fitting in just right!”
“You’ll fit in just right in the hole you’re about to make in the ground,” Ky growled, stepping up to them. “Because we’re about to drop you off of the roof.”
They looked over to Joe. Who shook his head. “Oh no, I’m with them.”
“Shame.” They shrugged, putting down their controller. “Ah well. Worth it.”
Buddy meowed from the corner of the desk where he’d been sitting.
So worth it.
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uy8hg-art · 2 years
Text
A Shoulder to Lean On
It’s been a minute but it’s time for @rtwritingcommunity secret springfairy! Happy Springfairy, @shadeofazmeinya​ !
Prompt: Recovering from an injury (nothing drastic). And of course the best medicine is cuddles and comfort food in bed. Could be an injury from an accident, a fight (like in fahc au), or in protecting one another.
Summary: When a heist fails in a big way, no one is exactly pleased. But Michael notices that Gavin is even less pleased than the others, and decides to investigate what's got his friend down.
Preview:
To say the heist didn’t go well would be an understatement. The Fake AH Crew had had their fair share of chaotic heists, but this was a new record just for how poorly things could go. It hadn’t even happened in a fun way that they could laugh about later, but in a just downright Not Good way. Somehow, the cops had gotten tipped off about their plan, so the crew aborted Plan A in favor of Plan B before they’d even started. This normally would have been fine, as none of them could remember a time that something hadn’t gone wrong, except this time, they’d been on a time crunch. Plan B was nowhere near as well researched or planned as Plan A had been, and thus, a whole bunch of their information was just plain wrong. This would also normally be fine, since improv was what they did best, except the universe was extra not in their favor that day. Their comms system hadn’t been stable, and every warning they tried to yell at each other sounded like they were going through the world’s longest tunnel that was also somehow underwater. To add to this, no one felt at the top of their game physically, which could most likely be blamed on the intense Wii Sports competition the night prior.
So yes. The heist had ended before they’d even made it to their prize. Not the finest day for the Fake AH Crew.
“That sucked,” Michael declared to the silent car for the fifth or sixth time as they drove lazily around the upper hills of Los Santos. They didn’t know if anyone was following them, and as much as everyone wanted to get to the penthouse and sleep for the next year, they needed to make sure they weren’t leading the cops right to them. Jack had taken half the crew in her minivan for a tour down by the water, while Geoff had taken the other half and squeezed them into a small hybrid car to venture into the hills. “How did that go so bad?”
Read the rest on AO3!
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shadeofazmeinya · 2 years
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Oh mmann are there other werewolves in this AU or is it just AH? Because I can absolutely see AH having to interact with another pack or having to be on the defensive because of another pack wanting to fight or something and making sure their humans are tucked in the middle of the pack safe and sound.
There are other Wolf Packs around! The Fakes kinda make Los Santos their territory, but other packs definitely could try to make a claim to it. And yess the Wolves immediately surround their humans and protect them as best they can. Though I’m sure Geoff and Trevor still try to speak up and negotiate as best they can. After all, both of them are leaders of the Fakes
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loyle-trash · 6 months
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Tagged by @bottomvegas (His Version)
(Warning when following links; not all are for general audiences!)
First fic published on Ao3: Andersmith Doesn't Want To Get In The Way is the first now; but I'm certain I published a Fake AH Crew puppyplay Geoff x Ryan fic before that. I deleted it at the time because it felt too close to RPF and I can't say I regret it after all the allegations. Andersmith was a precursor to my habits of writing for niche characters/ships, and never finishing anything I start haha. (Rooster Teeth / RvB)
Last fic published: Oneself: a fic about Seraphim-Crocodile and Identity. He's my lil guy. (One Piece)
Fandom/ship I only wrote once: Half of Me Wants To Watch, The Other Half Agrees was my only MHA fic and a farewell to the fandom after one too many of my blorbos got killed off. I really like how it turned out though. (My Hero Academia, Twice)
Favorite fic in most popular fandom/ship: How Long Has It Been Since I've Seen Your Face. Kind of encapsulates my preferred writing style-- floaty anecdotes, character driven, pathetic old men. (Critical Role, The Gentleman)
Fic I wish more people read: Caught in Enkanomiya. Genshin's fandom is really passionate and this was about a popular character, but at the end of the day I got crickets... I like it tho :] (Genshin Impact, Wanderer)
Fic I agonized over: A Coward's Weapon. I tried so hard to figure that AU out and it was my crackship, what my URL is based on, but I just am not proud of it. (RvB, Loyle)
Fic that popped out fully-formed: Renarin Said Nothing. Generally all my fics pop out Fully Formed (as fully formed as abandoned first chapters can be), I can't be bothered to write much else. But this one practically popped out as I read the source scene. (Stormlight Archives, Renarin x Wit)
Fic I'm proud of: Good Boy. Every time I get a comment on AO3 its on one of these meme fics I wrote (see also: Big Mom vore and bee vibrator fics.) I get such whiplash between the hit of dopamine attention provides and the "its that fic" realization. (Critical Role, Pike x Grog)
I Tag: @a-fleetoffoxes and @dmitrimolotov
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fakeahgems · 7 months
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disclaimer: very old au
tw ryan is still in this au since this was created and worked on in like 2019 subject to edits
Info: Mostly based around an au of the fake ah crew and some of their minecraft series.
fahc gems:
Geoff- Rhodonite Jack- Larimar Ryan- Bloodstone Michael- Tourmaline Gavin- Yellow Pearl Jeremy- Overcooked Ametrine Ray- Ametrine Lindsey- Sunstone Meg- Cherry pearl Matt- iolite Alfredo green jade Trevor orange jade Fiona: Boulder Opal
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breathing-in-waves · 2 years
Text
Come watch Uno: Infinite, where my favorite idiots play Uno for as long as they possibly can live!
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everamazingfe · 3 years
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All Hail West Texas
Fic Summary: One fic about two people, one house, a motorcycle, and an evening spent under the stars.  A songfic based on the song “Jenny” by The Mountain Goats.
----------------------------------------------------
Words in this fic: 1306 Pairings: Geoff / Jack Warnings for this fic: None
Notes: This is a rewrite of a previously posted fic from 2018. Check the content source to read it over on A 0 3!
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Before the crew had begun, before the infamous Fake AH Crew had taken hold of Los Santos in a death grip and never let go, there was just Geoff. And by his side, there was just Jack. No crime, no stress, no Kingpin, and no life on the run. Life was simple and sweet for them. Their house faced west, and the sunset hit the front porch each evening. Watching it together was always a treat, it was Geoff’s favorite time of day, perhaps only second to waking up each morning next to Jack. Sometimes she would make sweet tea, but usually they just drank in the sight of the sun and of each other. While their evenings were spent together in the fading sunlight, their days were filled with work. Honest work. 
Geoff had an office job that he swore was going to kill him one day, though whether it’d be from stress or boredom he wasn’t quite sure. Jack’s work was a little more fulfilling, a freelance artist who alternated between painting big beautiful murals and small humble canvases. She went wherever the work took her, and Geoff was more than happy to follow. The work had taken them to Texas, and had kept them there for a while. Eventually it would take them to California, and that’s where things would all go wrong. But they hadn’t gotten there yet. 
It was one evening where Geoff was out on the porch without Jack, staring out into the horizon and waiting for her to return. The sun was starting to sink lower in the sky, and she never missed a sunset. Worry began to grip his chest, until he heard the roar of an engine and saw a small silhouette in the distance rapidly growing bigger, and louder. It wasn't the roar of the engine of the car she usually drove, but it was the silhouette of his partner. He could recognize her anywhere. The sun was at Jack's back as she roared into the driveway, the early evening sun illuminating her from behind to give her an angel-like glow, the beams shining through her hair to make it burn a fiery red. That was Jack. There was a new Kawasaki beneath her, bright yellow and black and not yet dirtied by the dirt kicked up from the road. 
Geoff stood slowly, a hand shielding his eyes so that he could hope to see the other and what he'd ridden home on. "What the hell is that? When did you get this?!" he questioned, the tone not as angry as Jack had been expecting it to be. If anything, he almost sounded excited. Though she’d been saving for one for quite some time, it still almost felt like an impulse purchase that she shouldn’t have made. But she had no regrets just yet, especially not after hearing the glee in Geoff’s voice when he asked her about it.
"What does it look like it is, dumbass? It’s a motorcycle," Jack responded with a grin, nodding for Geoff to get on behind her. She really wanted to take advantage of the clear sky and bright stars that were on display that night now that she had something that could navigate the rough terrain. Sitting on their front porch couldn't ever give the same feeling as actually being out in the desert underneath it all, far away from any light source.
Geoff let out a relenting sigh as he hopped on the back of the bike, arms wrapped tight around Jack's middle and cheek pressed between her shoulder blades. Unable to help himself, he took a deep breath, inhaling as deeply as he possibly could. The fabric of her shirt was soft beneath his skin and still smelled faintly like detergent, and the smell of her hair combined with that to make something that smelled so inherently Jack that he couldn’t help but smile. It was sweet and delicious, like the warm desert air that surrounded them. "Alright then, smartass. Let's see what this baby can do then."
"Oh, this baby can do a lot, Geoff. Nine hundred cc’s of raw power. It doesn't get much better than that." With that said, Jack turned the bike around in the driveway, kicking up a cloud of dust. She pointed the headlamp toward the horizon and gave only a single warning to hold on before they were off, flying fast away from their home and into the sunset.
While the desert was usually huge and daunting, with their drives into work feeling endless and lonely, but right then it didn't feel like it could ever be big enough. The raw, whining power of the bike and the expert navigator at the handles made it seem so small. Their car could never navigate the dirt like this, it was too big and clunky and slow. They rode for what seemed like hours, and it was dark when Jack finally stopped the bike, and when she did they ended up being so far from their home that it wasn't even a speck on the horizon. The porchlights were out of sight, if they’d even bothered to turn on when it got dark. Geoff didn't drop his arms from the other's waist right away, though. Instead, he lifted his hand and pressed gentle kisses to the back of Jack's neck, smirking against her skin as she leaned back against him with a soft hum. She reached a hand back to run her fingers through Geoff’s hair affectionately, pulling him ever closer. 
"You know..." He trailed off, a kiss punctuating the statement. "I'm not sure why you bought this, but I'm so glad you did.” She only laughed, pulling herself free from Geoff's arms to get off the bike. The older man had no choice but to follow, grabbing onto Jack's hand and pulling her in for a proper kiss now that they were standing. The reason why she’d bought it was purely that she’d wanted to. And now she definitely didn’t have any regrets.  
The night was clearer than any other, but the stars weren't the focus of their eyes as they sat down together on the dirt, Jack's hand held gently in Geoff's. They shared kisses and talked, just like they would if they were still on the porch, only now they were laid beneath the endless summer sky. It had a way of bringing out an honesty between them that didn’t show up on the porch, because it was just the two of them out there, and it felt like the rest of the world didn't exist. They were the one thing in the galaxy God didn't have his eyes on, and the only thought that could cross Geoff's mind was how could his life possibly get any better? 
If only he knew.
Just a few short months later, the house would be traded for a small one bedroom apartment in Los Santos, most of their belongings and the Kawasaki left to collect dust in a storage unit while they found their footing. But jobs fall through, the honest ones always do in Los Santos, and they ended up like everyone else. But as they found their footing and found their crew, they had one advantage over the other crews that littered the city: A love that ran so deep it was bigger than the west Texas sky. 
Jack was always the best at what she did, no matter what it was she was doing, and Geoff was always willing to follow her lead and support her. And once they settled into their new life, they found themselves stepping away from it every now and then to go back to that house and brush the dust off that motorcycle, taking it back out into the desert to find themselves again. 
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prince-cally · 4 years
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Geoff being a police officer before creating the Fakes? Or maybe he wanted to be an officer but for some reason couldn't/ found out how dirty the system was.
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