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I believe that the spirits are your parents and their parents and their parents and their parents and they are in your bloodstream, and they run through your body constantly. Because they want you to live on, because they want to live on. And they’re trying all the time to tell you shit and if you just spend a few minutes listening to yourself, you would hear them. 

~ Gil Scott-Heron, “Parents,” I’m New Here (Amazon Digital Services, Feb 9, 2010)

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Just some of the process!
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At the end of the day, my dad used to discard the change in his pockets into an old cigar box on his dresser. And each morning, I would dig 35¢ out of the same box, grabbing enough small coins to make a single pay-phone call to my mom, to come pick me up from school. One morning, I went to grab the usual 35¢ and noticed a small book had fallen into the area between the wall and the dresser. Curious, I dug the little volume out - and being a teenager who favored reading and theater over sunlight and sports, it took a few minutes to dislodge the book. When I finally had the paperback in my hands, I noticed the title was “How to Be Your Daughter’s Daddy.” I quickly skimmed through the book. The pages had bold font with single, list-like features and a box-to-be-checked next to each item. They said things like, “Take your daughter to her favorite restaurant. Make the reservation under her name, and when you arrive, pull out her chair before you sit,” or “Rake a pile of leaves in your yard. Let her jump in them,” or “Take her fishing.” 

I saw a few pages already had checkmarks with dates - and I realized that my dad had been going through the book since 1985, and marking the things he’d already done with me. I saw, “Take her dancing,” was checked off, and remembered the church dance my dad took me and my sister to, where he bought us corsages and Mommy did our hair. I saw, “Share your favorite thing with her,” and remembered the time my dad woke me up in the middle of the night to watch a meteor shower in our back yard, and showed me the surface of the moon through his treasured telescope. It was a lot to take in in the 15 minutes before rushing off to school, and I definitely cried on my way to 1st Period. But what really stuck with me was that my dad loved me so much, that he worked extra hard to make a million beautiful memories just for me. 

And Daddy, I’ve never forgotten.

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Sempurna dan hidup normal

Apasih sempurna?

Makanan 4 sehat 5 sempurna?

Atau sulap demian, sempurna?

Bagiku yang sempurna itu adalah keluargaku. Ya meskipun aku dan bapakku berbeda soal keyakinan dan kepercayaan terhadap agama tetapi menurutku itu sempurna.

Kenapa sempurna, ya karena kl ga ada bapak aku ga akan ada di dunia ini. Hehe.

Awalnya sih susah, sampe curhat ke guru sma. Lama-lama aku mengerti setelah kakak menikah. Ok gpp semua data diri di identitas bukan agama islam. Tetapi setiap hari saya melakukan ibadah yang selalu dilakukan orang islam pada umumnya. Yup, Sholat.

Seorang teman pernah berkata, perbaikiah sholatmu, maka Allah permudah urusanmu.

Aku belajar tentang agama sendiri, belajar tentang sholat sendiri, belajar tentang berpuasa sendiri, belajar membaca al-qur'an sendiri, dan aku merasa bangga akan itu.

Proses pembelajaran ku mungkin berbeda dari kebanyakan orang yang ada diusiaku, mereka sibuk mempelajari cara menghias diri, cara mengendarai kendaraan, sedangkan aku mempelajari apa yang sedang anak tk/sd lakukan sekarang.

Aku tidak merasa terlambat untuk mempelajari ilmu agama, bukankah tidak ada kata terlambat untuk mempelajari ilmu yang sungguh luar biasa itu?

Saya ingin 24 jam bisa mau memakai hijab, saya ingin kalau dilingkungan rumah bisa memakai hijab, saya ingin kalau sholat bisa dilakukan di depan bapak, saya ingin kalau puasa sahur dengan makanan yang hangat.

Ya saya ingin semuanya. Tp apa dikata. Semua itu tidak akan berubah kecuali aku menikah dan menemukan pasangan yg seiman denganku.

Seperti kakakku, saat ini dia bisa memakai hijab 24 jam, bisa berbicara tentang sholat kapanpun, bisa berpuasa secara terang-terangan, bisa mempunyai agama islam yang tertera di semua identitas.

Ya aku ingin itu.

Semua hal itu.

Aku ingin menjadi normal.

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From ‘What does the patient pay for?’ by Rob Weatherill
Lacan states clearly that the analyst must not accede to the patient’s seductive demands for love and attention. Otherwise, both analyst and patient will become locked into an illusory struggle repeating an incestuous relation in which the child’s desire was to be the exclusive object of its mother’s desire. Yet desire we must, but the Lacanian point is we can only approach desire through speech, through formulating our needs always in an incomplete way in language. ‘It is precisely because we cannot approach it [desire] except by way of some demand, that once the patient approaches us and comes to us, it is to ask something of us, and we already go an enormously long way in terms of engaging with, of clarifying the situation by saying to him simply: “I’m listening”’ (Lacan: seminar of 16.4.58 p. 25, unpublished in English).
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1. “I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called,

2. With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;

3. Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

Ephesians 4: 1-3

The scripture keeps going, saying that there is only one:

4. “There is one body, and one Spirit, even as ye are called in one hope of your calling;”

5. “One Lord, one faith, one baptism,”

6. “One God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.”

- Ephesians 4: 5-6

Remember, the Lord is with you at ALL times.

  • When you are sick, he’s there.
  • When your scared, he’s there.
  • When your upset, he’s there.
  • When you have nothing else to turn to, look to the Lord for guidance. For he IS there.

Believe in the Lord, that your troubles and worries are no more.

That you will be saved through the Holy Ghost.


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Man, this past month has been the most stressful month of my life. On August 12th my stepfather passed away, and on September 9th my father passed away. My mother and I have planned 2 funerals in less than a month…on top of that it’s the beginning of the school year and I work full time in the classroom. While also taking 2 online classes. My anxiety has been through the roof and I’ve never been this depressed In my entire life. But going into work every single day and seeing my students really makes me remember my purpose on this Earth. It’s definitely been a crazy ride, but I’m really practicing mindfulness in these moments. Instead of taking it one day at a time, I’m taking it one moment at a time. To anyone else going through some hard times, just remember to BREATHE. 

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Masnak az a szo hogy apa boldogsagot egy megnyugvast jelent..nekem pedig oriasi hianyt es szomorusagot

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This is wonderful! Just the thing I needed to hear. It’s true that salvation makes us want to sin less. But it’s also true that we will be sinful throughout or lives. Even if we commit the same sin over and over again, in his eyes we are perfect. It is so touching to have Someone that overlooks everyone of your flaws, just because you love and believe in him. It’s just like having a parent. In a perfect world every parent will forgive ones mistakes over and over again. That is what God does for us. That is what Jesus does for. I thank Him everyday for what he has given to me, and to all of us believers.

God bless ❤️

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Don’t scream around children

This was on my recommended, it resonated with me a lot and I believe more people need to understand this.

Kids are smarter than you think, no matter who you are in their lives, they deserve the right to grow up in stability.

If you’re one of those who claime “It’ll toughen them up” or “it makes them stronger” then stop.  Kids weren’t meant to be tough, they needed to be safe.

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