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princessbee23 · 4 years

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Just the Two of Us, Pt. 5

I’d never felt we had a super traditional marriage. We eloped to the Oregon coast, a road trip that we didn’t come home from for nearly a month. I wore a different white dress every day until we’d gotten married, and on that day I still didn’t wear an actual wedding dress—just a simple white sundress that I still wore from time to time. We both worked full time—although your career was much more involved than mine. We’d both decided having kids just wasn’t for us. We didn’t go to Church on Sundays and a good portion of our home decor were nerdy trinkets we’d collected on the way. But, I did do most of the cooking and you did usually end up behind the wheel if we were going anywhere. You took the traditional role as the more dominant one in our relationship—both in general and in bed— which wasn’t a small feat considering that I generally had a very dominant personality. “You’re a fucking brat and I love that about you,” you’d always say.

But, nevertheless, the comment your new friend made when he saw me in my ruffled Pioneer Woman apron still made me feel... domesticated. “What a pretty little house wife,” he’d said. His wife had smiled politely, nodding in agreement.

I stared down at the lemon curd I was working with and tried to hide my look of disgust. You didn’t say anything about the comment, but you didn’t even try to mask your own disapproval. Jonas, the man in question, dropped it with an awkward laugh.

This was only our second attempt at having a couple to be friends with. The wife—Laura—had spotted my day collar while we were out at our favorite little hole-in-the-wall bar playing darts and compared it to her own.

“Oooh, another couple in the lifestyle I see!” She’d chided.

People didn’t often recognize that the necklace I now kept around my neck had any meaning beyond looking elegant, so you’d looked at me and shrugged, and I grinned at her. “I see you know your stuff.”

She’d brushed her hair away from her neck to show us hers, although it was significantly more flashy. A thick silver band to make up the choker and a thick ring—it was slightly more obvious and not made to be elegant, but a day time show piece. “Of course!”

She and her husband had joined us for a few drinks and another round of darts. Our conversation flowed so smoothly that we even opted for a game of pool. I, for the record, can’t play pool to save my life, so you spent your time behind me, hands guiding my arms to teach me how to shoot. I’d get so distracted from conversing with our new friends, feeling your girth through your pants pressed against my ass. You’d sneak a hand down to pinch mine after every good shot I’d made. We had a really good night that night.

Now, though, being in the privacy of our home, it seemed we’d be seeing their true colors. We’d both been worried about it just before we asked them over for dinner.

“I dunno, B,” you’d groaned. “You know how couples that say they ‘live the lifestyle’ can be. The guy’s usually a douche, the woman is more of a thing to him than a person.”

I’d nodded. “I know, I know. If we don’t like them we can forget they ever existed though.”

You were right, to be fair. The dom/sub relationship that WE had was just a part of our life, something we’d discovered we both enjoyed that made existence feel relevant again since we’d given up on believing in some grand meaning. Sure, I had multiple night time collars and the beautiful, simple day collar you’d surprised me with in England, but we still had the rest of our relationship as well. We both played our roles well, but it didn’t consume the entirety of our lives together.

Others, though, if they “lived the lifestyle,” they really LIVED the LIFESTYLE. At least the ones we’d met. The doms, the men, were usually incredibly demanding, and the women just gave into it. The other couple we’d tried befriending after finding out had invited us over and the wife had been in a full on French maid outfit... just for us to be there. He called her all sorts of filthy names. I gave you one look and you snuck away to text your buddy to call and say a pipe had busted at our house so we could bail. We never spoke to that couple again.

I looked up from my mixer just long in time to catch the look you were giving me. I told ya so.

I looked back down to my curd, now turning a lovely milky yellow after the cream was added. Lemon silk pie was one of your absolute favorites, and I’d been excited to make it for you all week.

Jonas made polite conversation with you for several minutes, about similar interests and work. I’d let out a quiet sigh of relief, hoping maybe he’d just started off on the wrong foot.

My stomach sank, though, when I heard him clear his throat. “So, uh, you ever thought about letting your buddies use your wife? Or we could even just switch wives for a night?”

I knew you so well that I could’ve swore I heard you grit your teeth, even over the sound of my mixer. “Absolutely fucking not.”

I didn’t dare turn away from the counter. You weren’t an angry guy; you kept your cool relatively well in the majority of situations. This wasn’t going to be one of them.

“Okay okay, I get it. What’s yours is yours, I just figured—“

You cut him off right there. You didn’t yell, but I knew how you sounded when you were livid. “Number one, share my wife? Are you fucking kidding me? I don’t OWN her, it’s not my place to say ‘hey my buddy wants to fuck you tonight so you’re gonna do it.’ That’s not how this works. Number fucking two, switch wives? Hell no. Women aren’t fucking Pokémon cards, you don’t trade them when you want a good time.” I heard you scoot in your chair; you tended to stand up when you got heated.

“Relax, man, it was just a suggestion. You know, some fun. Laura likes to join couples for three ways sometimes, or we could do a couple thing too so you’d still be in the room.”

“Yeah!” Laura piped up. “Jonas has a gorgeous cock, I’m sure you’d love watching him fuck your pretty wife and she’d like it too.”

Now I ground my teeth. This is what i hated about trying to befriend other couples who may be into similar things that we are. I was never B, I was always just your wife, as if you owned me—just another toy, and that couldn’t be further from the truth.

“The two of you should probably go.” I knew you were frustrated. You’d always been adamant on keeping our personal lives between the two of us, regardless of if we happened to meet someone that recognized the subtle signs—like my necklace, or you leading me by the wrist instead of my hand.

“On c’mon,” Laura purred. “You know you could have a lot of fun with me, too.”

I spun around at this, ready to finally put in my two cents, but you’d already taken a large step back and headed to the door. You opened it wide, motioning with your arm. “Out.”

I hated that things had gone poorly; we both thought it may be interesting to have friends in our life that we could be open with to some extent, but this seemed to be common place with most couples. At the same time, though, seeing you completely shut down ideas that a lot of men wouldn’t be opposed to sent a tingling down between my legs. I turned back to my pie and went back to debating if I wanted to do meringue or whipped cream for the topping. You’d handled everything flawlessly.

You walked into the kitchen and settled your chin on my shoulder. “We don’t actually NEED to be friends with a couple, right? We’ve been fine for this long.”

I nodded and turned toward you, and you settled your hands on my waist. I touched the tip of my nose to yours affectionately. “I’m content with just you.”

You grinned and let your lips drift down to my neck. “I’d hope so.” You nibbled at my skin, and I let out a soft moan. “Besides, now I don’t have to be unwillingly patient.”

I grinned and spun around, purposely bending over just a bit to let my ass press up against your hardening cock. I took my pie off the counter. “It still needs a topping... meringue or whipped cream.”

“Canned or fresh?”

“The squirty kind. I used all the cream I had for your pie.”

“Mm...” you settled your chin back onto my shoulder and slid a hand under my apron and between my legs, rubbing me through my jeans. “Meringue. You can finish it later, though.”

I bit my lip and place a hand on his forearm, it moving up and down as he rubbed me. “But it’s your favorite. You don’t want me to finish it now?”

You worked your way up and unbuttoned my jeans, pulling at them to force the zipper down. Your hand found its way to my panties and you rubbed me through those, kissing the back of my neck now. “It’ll still be my favorite tomorrow, kitten. I’m hungry for something else right now.”

I pulled away from you unwillingly to put the pie back into the fridge. You grabbed the can of whipped cream from the door and set it on the counter before it could swing shut, and then grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me to you to lock me into a kiss. You pushed me back against our kitchen island, which was clear except for a cookbook and two bottles of wine. Using your forearm, you pushed them to the side to clear space for me to hop up onto the countertop.

You untied the string of my apron and pulled the loop from around my neck, letting it fall to the floor with a soft thud. You kissed down my neck and wrapped your fingers under the bottom of my shirt to pull it off over my head, leaving it in a puddle with the apron.

I slid my fingers up into your hair as your lips found my nipples, relishing the feeling of your tongue making a big circle around each one. You pulled my jeans off and let those fall to the floor too, leaving me only in my little cotton boy shorts.

You kissed back up to my lips, making me lean back just enough to make it easier for you to have a hand wrapped around my throat and another in between my legs.

Your kisses were generally so soft and sweet, not too terribly wet, just enough to keep me wanting more. The way you kissed me while teasing me endlessly was the same way you’d kiss me if we’d been cuddled up in bed.

You stepped back and pulled my panties down over my thighs, let them fall with the rest of my clothes, and spread my legs wide, standing in between them with your crotch pressed into mine. You cupped one of my cheeks in your hand, running your thumb across it gingerly. “You know, that pie you make me is actually my second favorite dessert.”

I pressed my face into your hand and batted my eyelashes at you. You were so incredibly handsome; dark hair, dark eyes, thick eyelashes. A sharp jaw and always just a bit of stubble. You had tattoos up and down your arms, just like I did, and you had the most dazzling smile I’d ever seen in my life. “Oh?” I murmured, trying not to get too caught up in admiring you.

“Mhmm.” You stepped back to the counter and grabbed the can of whipped cream. “You’ve always been the first, Princess.” I leaned back for you, propping myself up on my forearms to give you absolute access to everywhere you’d need to be.

You took the can and covered both of my tits in whipped cream, spread my legs a bit wider and covered my freshly shaved pussy in it as well.

You set the can down and immediately started licking my newly found, edible bikini off of my body. Your tongue felt so good against my tits and nipples. I let my head lean back and just enjoyed the sensation, letting out soft moans every so often.

The thing that no one would ever guess about you, from the outside looking in, was that you were incredibly attentive to my feelings and emotions—honestly, that was one of the biggest reasons our dynamic worked. So, when something like this happened, you exclusively focused on me and my pleasure during our play time—you hated the thought of anyone possibly making me feel like I wasn’t as valuable as I was. Idiots like Jonas rarely ever did, but you always felt the need to correct it anyway.

You kissed down my body slowly, a hand now on each of my thighs, pushing them just a bit wider with every kiss. Once you’d made it down to my pussy, you started licking everywhere but the most sensitive spots, taking your time to clean up the sweet mess. Once the majority of it was gone, you ran your hands up my inner thighs and spread the lips of my pussy. I bit my lip and glanced down at you, and you smirked up at me before running your tongue from between the lips to my clit.

I laid back against the counter, running my hands up to my tits as you started to work my pussy with the width of your tongue. I slid my hands back down my stomach and into your hair, curling my fingers into it.

I don’t know how long you swirled your tongue over my clit and lapped at the entirety of my pussy, but the cum that came gushing out of me attested to how good you were. You licked my pussy just a bit longer, enough to get my legs shaking.

I was panting when you kissed back up my body. You kissed up my neck to my ear and whispered, “One more time. You ready for that baby?”

I nodded and locked my lips to yours, having sat up so that it was easier. I loved the way I tasted on your lips. I think it was because... somehow, someone as perfect as you had taken the time worship my pussy. You did it often—any other time you would’ve been far more strict about letting me cum. But I always loved tasting myself on your lips.

I pulled your t-shirt over your head, and at the same time, you dropped your pants and boxers below your waist. You pressed the head of your dick up against my pussy. “Beg for me, kitten,” you whispered against my lips, not bothering with pausing out kisses.

“Please fuck me, Daddy. Please.”

"I dunno...” Your voice was playful, a subtle grin across your lips. You pushed my legs a bit further open, taking a second to just barely push the head of your dick into me--just enough that it was the worst kind of teasing, the kind that left me helplessly begging. “I may like hearing you beg.”

“Please?” I whined, shimmying my hips to try to get you further into me.

“Please what?”

“Please fuck me, Daddy. Please? I’ll do anything you want.”

“Anything, huh? Like what, Princess?”

“I’ll--” You’d starting running the head of your cock up and down my pussy, in between the lips, and it was making it hard to speak. “Mm, I’ll--I’ll blow you for--” You dipped the head of your cock back into me before going back to teasing me. “I’ll blow you for as long as you, mm, baby, for as long as you want. Down on my knees--” You ran your hand up my stomach to play with one of my tits, leaving the head of your cock in me for the moment. “--looking up at you just the way you like. I promise.”

You ran your hand up to my face to run your thumb along my cheek affectionately. “That’s my good girl,” you purred, ever so slowly pushing your dick into me--inch by inch, letting me cling to your hand as you stretched me. You kept pushing into me all the way up until my moans had gotten high pitched and my grip on your hand couldn’t have been any tighter. “Awh, baby, is that all you can take?”

I nodded, biting down on my lip, and wasn’t surprised when you gave your hips a hard thrust and pushed just that much further into me. “Mm--Daddy--”

“‘Daddy’ nothing, baby.” You slipped two fingers into my mouth to keep me from protesting any further, the look on your face making it evident that you liked the way my tongue felt against them.

You lowered your hands to take both of my wrists, pinning them against my stomach while your other hand pushed my leg to the side.

The way your cock filled me was one of the greatest pleasures I had in life--I felt myself stretch every single time you pushed into me, my pussy filled as much as it possibly could be. It didn’t matter how wet I was or how easy it was for you to push in; it never failed to make me gasp.

You pushed in and out of me for a few minutes, tightening your grip on my wrists every time I started to squirm. “Now, Princess,” you’d lean down and whisper. “You know to take it like a good girl.”

I nodded, fighting the urge to buckle my hips. You were pushing in and out of me deep and slow, looking up to occasionally make eye contact with me, but you were mostly focused on my pussy lips wrapped around your cock. Every single time you pushed back into me, your dick would hit the back of my pussy, encouraging high pitched moans. That, as much as it could hurt, felt incredible at the same time. The way your warm, thick cock felt with every slow inch... I wanted to wait to cum. A second orgasm this soon would’ve been too exhausting.

You pulled out of me suddenly, leaving me pouting and longing for more, but that didn’t last long. You took hold up my legs behind my knees and jerked me forward, planting your hands on the counter with your forearms behind my knees now, forcing my legs up and open. “Was that a whine I heard?”

“Yes, Daddy...”

“You know better.” You didn’t give it to me slowly this time. As soon as you had the head in, you slammed into me, leaving me to bite down on my lip to keep from damn near screaming.

“Ah--Baby--” I ran my hands up over my face and into my hair, tits bouncing with every hard thrust into me. I couldn’t help it this time--my back arched, just making it easier for your cock to get further into me, and I slid my hands back down to my chest to cup my tits.

“Uh uh,” you said sharply. “Move your hands.”

“Yes, Daddy...” I opted to instead kind of prop myself on my elbows to be able to look you in the eyes and, to my delight, you slowed just enough to lean in and kiss me.

“How’s that feel?”

“Mm.” I cherished the feeling of your lips on mine while you were fucking me, your face so close to mine that I could really see that hungry look in your eyes. “It feels so good, Daddy.”

“Oh yeah? And just why is that, Princess?”

You were guiding your dick in and out of me slowly, and I was struggling to keep myself from cumming. I don’t know exactly what it was--maybe the position, maybe just the way my pussy stretched slowly instead of quickly. “It just feels so good when your cock stretches me out like this, baby,” I managed. “I love it when you use me this way.”

“That’s my girl.” You pulled me down off of the counter and spun me around, pushing me up against it so that I had to use my hands to keep myself steady. You wasted no time pushing back into me, wrapping my hair around your hand to pull my head back while you pumped in and out of me. You kissed the top of my ear gently and whispered, “You need this, don’t you?”

“Ah--y-yes Daddy. I always need this.” You used your free hand and ran it down my stomach, your fingers finding my clit, making it substantially harder to keep myself in check. “Daddy,” I whimpered. “I’m gonna cum if you don’t stop--”

“So cum, baby.” You let go of my hair to get a hold on my throat, tightening your grip as I finally gave in and let my pussy clench around your cock. I used one hand to keep my head steady and the other to dig my nails into your forearm, moaning out your name as I gushed, my own cum covering your balls and your cock and dripping down my legs. “Did that feel good, Princess?”

I nodded and you let go of my throat while I collapsed down on the counter, arms folded to rest my head on as I panted and enjoyed the feeling of you finishing yourself of with a few hard, deep thrusts, your cum soon joining my own dribbling down my legs.

We took a second to catch our breath before I turned to face you, satisfied. You finished rebuttoning your jeans and kissed my temple. “Love you.”

“I love you.” I bent down and picked up your t-shirt, pulling it on over my head before scooping up the rest of my clothes to stick into the hamper. “So... no threesomes?”

You chuckled and took my chin between your fingers, giving me a peck on the lips. “Not a chance, baby. Afraid you’re mine.”

I stole another kiss from you and laughed myself.

Yours.

I could live with that.

You grabbed both of the bottles of wine from the counter and headed for the living room. “C’mon Princess, that lame anime on Netflix is calling our names.”

I tossed my clothes into the hamper in our laundry room and followed you into the living room for what I was sure would be a low key night of cartoons and possibly a wine fueled round two.

Perfect.

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strawori · 5 years

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Rumours - Chapter 1 | Elu (1/3)

Summary: He was just a drummer in a boyband, he wasn't part of the royalty.

Or, the one where Lucas is the drummer in a boyband and he very candidly admits to having a crush on Prince Eliott.

Words: 1.8k

A request by: @iamshannonmcfarland

Can also be read on my ao3 @/invisible_slytherin

Lucas wasn't sure what had gotten into him in the interview and really, it's not like he had said or done something terrible and this was the end of the world. But he still worried because that's what he does best. Worry.

He could have answered anything when the interviewer had asked him who his 'celebrity crush' was. It was such a standard question that he even had some answers at the ready that would surely get laughs out of the audience; he and the boys had come up with them after the fifth time being asked the same thing. However, this time Lucas hadn't been able to think up one of them and had just ended up blurting out the actual truth.

"My celebrity crush?" He had chuckled, knowing that was the reaction the fans would want to see. "I don't know," he had pondered on the situation as if it was the most important question he had ever been asked. "Maybe Prince Eliott, he is pretty cute."

The moment the words were out of his mouth, he had noticed his mistake, but there was nothing he could have done to go back in time and say something else. So, he had just ignored the sideways amused glances his bandmates had thrown his way and had pretended like everything was alright and he wasn't freaking out inside. If he acted normal, no one would think he had actually meant what he had said.

It's not like Prince Eliott would ever know that he had said that. He was a busy person, he didn't have time to like boybands and watch their interviews.

Lucas really didn't need to worry so much.

***

Lucas didn't know how it had happened. Maybe it was the universe playing a game with him and making him deal with this situation like a test, an obstacle he had to go through to step into the next level. Maybe it was the higher entity that controlled the world that was messing with him and laughing at his misery. Or maybe it was just really, really bad luck.

It was probably the latter.

Prince Eliott had for some reason unknown to Lucas seen the interview where he, so calmly and truthfully, had admitted to having a crush on him. Lucas suspected that some of his fans had probably tagged Eliott on posts about the interview and had sent him messages about it, it was the most plausible idea he had.

Point is, Prince Eliott had seen it. He had actually watched it and now he knew. And, although it wasn't the end of the world and Lucas wasn't the first one to say he had a crush on the prince, Lucas couldn't help but scream silently into his pillow and curse whoever had messaged Prince Eliott that had made him watch the interview.

Now, if the prince had just watched the interview and had said nothing about the matter, Lucas would remain blissfully ignorant about it and would go on to live a peaceful life, only remembering his truthful embarrassment a couple of times a day. But, no, that didn't happen. Lucas knew that Prince Eliott had watched the interview because the prince had made sure he knew.

Prince Eliott had oh-so-kindly commented about it on twitter and because apparently, he wasn't as scared about all things rumours as Lucas was, had even tagged him on the post.

@eliottdemaury: You're pretty cute too @lucallemant ❤

He had even added the heart emoji as if the written words weren't enough on their own.

Needless to say, Lucas' notifications had exploded in a matter of seconds, and everyone seemed to be talking about Lucas' interview and Prince Eliott's tweet.

Lucas was flattered. Of course, he was. The tweet was sweet and Prince Eliott had called him cute. Lucas' heart was beating fast and he almost said fuck it all and stopped worrying. But that would have been too good.

Instead, and after seeing all the comments and mentions and even the fanart some artists had done extremely quickly, Lucas could only worry.

His interview and the moment in it that he had wanted to forget were spreading like wildfire and he could do nothing about it - it would be quite an impossible feat to forget about it now. And, with the interview and now the tweet, so were the rumours.

Lucas and Prince Eliott had never been seen together, purely because they had never met. But some people didn't seem to know that and there were now some theories circulating around about secret relationships, hook-ups and feelings and Lucas didn't know how to deal with the situation.

It wasn't like he wasn't used to rumours. There had been thousands of rumours on his life before, some that were pretty accurate, others that were completely out there, but this time it was different. Because it was with someone he had never met and because it was so sudden that he hadn't been prepared for it. If Prince Eliott hadn't tweeted him, Lucas was sure that the rumours wouldn't have reached the level they were in.

And, apparently, the prince was aware of it too. So aware in fact, that he had reached out to Lucas through a private message and had apologized for his tweet. Well, he apologized for the tweet and used the opportunity to compliment Lucas once again.

@eliottdemaury: Hello. I wanted to apologize for the tweet I made. Not that I regret having written it or that I didn't mean it. However, I did not think it through before sending it, my parents always told me I could be quite impulsive and use my heart instead of my head and I guess this just proves them right. I realize now, and after our counsellors brought it to light, that what I said caused an uproar of rumours and speculations that I'm sure you didn't want to be involved in. That is the reason I am now apologizing, I'm sorry that I caused this situation, I merely wanted to compliment you and did not think it through. I hope there is no bad blood between us and that none of this caused you too much trouble. Again, I apologize.

Lucas had had to read the message at least five times to understand exactly what the prince was saying and everything that was slightly between the lights. Prince Eliott had thoroughly apologized for the rumours he had unwittingly created and, in the middle of it, he had said that he had meant it when he had called Lucas cute.

Lucas wasn't exactly sure how to cope with all of it. It seemed like a lot in such a small amount of time and Lucas was... overwhelmed.

He also didn't know how to answer. The prince had been so painfully formal that Lucas didn't stand any chance of getting to that level of text. He was just a drummer in a boyband, he wasn't part of the royalty. And he worried that whatever he chose to answer wouldn't be the appropriate thing to say or the appropriate way to go about all of this.

And, again, maybe he was worrying for no reason. After all, Prince Eliott had never seemed like he cared much for formality unless he was in one of his fancy gatherings that sometimes were shown on tv.

With a groan, Lucas got up from the bed and headed to where he had left his laptop on top of his suitcase next to the hotel room door. He had to answer Prince Eliott, he couldn't just ghost him as if he was mad at him and have that misunderstanding hanging over them. He also couldn't lose the opportunity to speak to the person he had a celebrity crush on. As much as it made him feel like he was fifteen years old again.

He turned on his laptop and nervously waited as it loaded, biting his nails. If Arthur was in the room with him, he would surely be slapping his hand away and giving him a lesson on why he shouldn't bite his nails. Lucas couldn't really help it though, it was a nervous habit he had been trying to let go off since he was younger and had never quite managed.

When he had everything ready on the computer, since it seemed more appropriate to write a formal text there than on the more informal phone, Lucas opened the until-then empty chat with Prince Eliott.

@lucallemant: Hello, Prince.

Lucas looked at what he had just written in disgust and promptly deleted it again.

@lucallemant: Hey there.

Too informal.

@lucallemant: Hey, thanks for the message.

No. Lucas had appreciated the message and had added it to the list of things that made Prince Eliott one of the best people in the world. But that didn't mean that the prince had needed to apologize in the first place. It wasn't his fault that people started rumours over anything. Maybe that was exactly what Lucas should write. Maybe he didn't need to overthink this even more than he already had.

@lucallemant: Hello. I really appreciate your apology and I think it's really nice of you to address it. But the thing is, I don't really think you need to apologize for anything. Yes, maybe your comment sparkled some minds to create rumours, but that's not your fault. And, anyway, my interview didn't make things much better. So, there is no need to apologize. But, for the record, you are more than forgiven for the thing you don't need to apologize for. And, since I'm here, I'll just go ahead and tackle the most important part of all this. Thank you for the compliments, I really appreciated them and, not going to lie, they did make me feel better about the whole situation. As far as I'm concerned, there is absolutely no bad blood between us.

Was that considered flirting? Lucas wasn't sure, but he thought that at this point he didn't have anything to lose. Eliott already knew that he had a crush on him. He already knew that Lucas thought he was cute. And he had told Lucas he was cute in return, complimented him more than once. What was there to lose?

Nothing. And, if things got awkward, the conversation would just end and they would go back to their lives of never seeing each other or interacting.

He hit send before he could overthink any of it even more.

Chapter 2

#skam france #elu #fanfic #fanfiction #still taking requests

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your-iron-lung · 5 years

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The Unsolved Chapter

aka, the crossover absolutely no one asked for; also available to read on AO3

Story Synopsis: While investigating what remains of the infamous Léry’s Memorial Institute for their popular channel, two Youtube celebrity ghost hunters go missing overnight, vanishing in a freak occurrence that has decided to lay claim to their souls.

While the world they were abruptly taken from grieves their absences and tries to figure out what befell the beloved comical duo, Ryan and Shane struggle to make sense of the new, terrible and violent reality they've woken up in. Drawn to a campfire that never seems to burn out, they meet others who have been condemned to the same, eternal fate and are forcibly taught how to survive in an attempt to keep their collective hope and souls alive.

Part 1 of 5

Chapter Word Count: 6031

Pairings: None; just a genfic

Genre: Survival Horror/Supernatural/Angst-y

Next Chapter: Part Two

Notes: uhh yep, here it is, a buzzfeed unsolved/dead by daylight crossover fic bc once i started to think about it, i couldnt stop. there will be temporary character death, lil bits of gore, and a fair amount of blood and violence in the story, just not in this installment. careful if you click the embedded link, as it might be loud

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‘Sometimes human places, create inhuman monsters.’ Stephen King, The Shining

Léry’s Memorial Institute was probably the filthiest building Shane had ever stepped foot in, which, when you took into account just how many foul, decrepit locations he’d been to in the past, was really saying something. The building itself was beautiful in its own haunting way, as most older buildings often were, but Léry’s took the definition of ruined to a new extreme he’d yet to see before now. It was an architectural thing of beauty to be sure, but the grit and grime that covered the entirety of the stonework did manage to dampen his enthusiasm for exploring the dilapidated structure.

And he had been excited for it, originally; a chance to fly back to Illinois to shoot the season finale of Unsolved on his home turf had been generally appealing, even if he hadn’t heard of Michaelstown or Léry’s before. But then they’d all gotten their first look at the Institute, looming horribly tall over the long horizon of pines as they drove up to it from the bumpy dirt road, and he felt all his excitement leave his body in an instant, evaporating like a cold drop of water on hot asphalt.

The silhouette had been menacing and boxy, regal in an old fashioned way that modern constructions had abandoned in favor of more modern designs. It was, perhaps, one of the most imposing feats of architecture he’d ever laid eyes on; it certainly ranked up there with Waverly in his mind, and perhaps that was why he felt so inexplicably nervous as he’d looked at it. Rather than dwell on it, he compartmentalized his anxiety away in his brain and turned to make a comment about how spooky the hospital was to Ryan, but whatever effects looking at the building had had on him appeared to have hit his co-host three times as hard; Ryan’s brain already looked like it was melting, an expression of mute terror written plainly across his face.

Shane couldn’t fault him for that, considering his own momentary scare, and was actually grateful for his silence. If Ryan had pressed him for a comment on whether or not he thought Léry’s was haunted in that moment, then Shane might’ve reluctantly admitted that, in the event that ghosts were real, he wouldn’t be surprised to find a few here, but Ryan had been too horror-stricken to ask. In all actuality, no one on the team had been up for much conversation after that first initial glimpse, an uneasy vibe settling into all of them as they parked. They had all taken a moment to appreciate how terribly ominous it looked against the backdrop of a sunset red sky before TJ ushered them into their usual business routine, unpacking their equipment and getting their bodycams set up.

“Man, I feel like Jack Torrance walking into the Overlook here. This building feels downright predatory, man,” Ryan said, voice already shaking with nervousness.

Evening was falling fast upon them as they shuffled around in the entrance hall, carefully avoiding the large panes of broken glass and other debris that littered the floor. The layer of dust on the ground was so thick, distinct footprints could be seen as clear as though they’d been walking through snow, their tracks leading around in circles as they got their first look at the interior.

Shane hummed a noncommittal response as he shined his camera light around, disgusted by the amount of dust on the floor and in the air; if he were an asthmatic, he’d probably have run through several inhalers just from walking in.

“So tell me what I’m looking at here, Ryan; what’s the history behind this magnificent pile of rubble?” Shane asked as he nudged a thick piece of wood with the toe of his boot.

They would cover most of the history of Léry’s Memorial Institute in the voice over, but that wouldn’t be done until they got back to California and Ryan had yet to tell him much about the place. Keeping Shane in the dark about the past of some the places they went to was a good way to get genuine reactions out of him, but he felt that if they didn’t start bantering soon then Ryan would lose whatever was left of his poor, impressionable mind.

“I feel really weird,” Ryan said instead of answering, glancing around the area with wide, uncertain eyes. “There’s like, some kind of an energy in the air in here; do you feel it?”

“No,” Shane replied calmly, though that wasn’t entirely true. He could feel something akin to static in the air around them, but he didn’t register that as a supernatural phenomenon. The air felt charged in a way that reminded him more of an impending thunderstorm getting ready to unburden itself than it did of something unearthly. “It is a little chilly, though; probably should’ve worn more layers.”

“Good Christ, I hate it here already.” Ryan shuddered and rubbed at one of his arms as he turned to look down the dark hallway that lead further in. “Right, so. Léry’s. I couldn’t find any information on who the original owners were, or who built it, but I did find out that the original building was built sometime in the 1800’s.”

“This isn’t the original?”

Ryan shook his head and reluctantly took the lead in guiding them down the long, narrow hallway, adjusting the straps of his bodycam rig subconsciously as he went.

“Well, yes and no,” he said, stopping every few steps to shine his light and camera into any rooms they happened to pass. “The original building was just a really big mansion the owners lived in before they donated their land to the government; all this hospital space was added onto it during the Korean War to help rehab returning vets.”

“This is one hell of a remodeling job; the Property Brothers would be proud with how many square feet they managed to pump into this thing,” Shane remarked, grinning a little when Ryan let out a slight laugh. “So, army hospital?”

“Yep, up until the CIA took possession of it in the 60’s, and that’s where all my research brought me to dead ends. I couldn’t find what they wanted it for or what they did with it after they got it, but boy, the conspiracy theories run wild with this one.” He turned to flash Shane a conspiratory grin.

“Are you gonna use the voice on me?” Shane asked with a roll of his eyes. “Don’t lay it on too thick now; save some for the voice over.”

“Some say that the CIA turned Léry’s into a black site in order to perfect ‘information gathering’ techniques they’d wanted to put into practice during the war,” Ryan began, easily slipping into the professional tone of voice he used for narrations. The familiarity with which he spoke seemed to restore some of his confidence as they continued down the hall, as he no longer seemed to shrink away from the darkness surrounding them. “They reportedly hired a large number of staff to run the medical facility, but no records of anyone working here exist- at least to the public-, though there are rumors of one particular doctor who was well known for his sadistic use of electro-convulsive shock ‘treatments’.”

“Torture, you mean,” Shane said, shining his light into a room of indeterminate purpose. Ahead of him, Ryan nodded in affirmation. “Great, a secret torture hospital. I’m sure you’ll get a lot of angry, resentful ghosts to talk to here.”

Ignoring his comment, Ryan continued his monologue, clearly having spent time rehearsing it. “Supposedly. As the rumors go, they began implementing experimental interrogation methods on American citizens first before moving on to actual spies, and oh- oh my god, that’s a fucking big rat,” Ryan sputtered, his Unsolved voice breaking as he skipped back down the hall and almost knocked into Shane, who barely managed to sidestep his panicked retreat.

He couldn’t help but chuckle a bit as he put an arm to Ryan’s shoulder to steady him before stepping ahead of him, shining his camera light into what looked to be a large reception area. It was wide and spacious, full of dark corners with plenty of dust and run down furniture covered in graffiti. The rat Ryan had stumbled upon was underneath one of the waiting room benches, turned over on its side and very clearly dead, though it was exceptionally large.

They stared at it together contemplatively for a moment before Shane said, “I gotta tell you, Ry, that I am not at all thrilled about spending the night here. I think I might ask my mom to call your mom to tell you I can’t come to your little sleepover.”

From behind, they could hear Mark laugh before stepping into the room, aiming the lens of his camera at the rat for a dramatic close-up they could potentially use to promote the episode.

“That’s disgusting, don’t film that,” Devon said, clicking her tongue in disapproval as she placed her hand in front of the camera lens until Mark lowered it off his shoulder. “This place is foul; I can’t say I envy you boys for staying here one bit.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Ryan muttered. “Hell, I might cancel the sleepover myself, no moms involved.”

“You can’t, you already walked out of one overnight this season,” TJ cut in, to which Ryan responded with a quietly spoken ‘fuck’ under his breath. “Let’s just start filming, yeah? The sooner we get this done, the sooner morning will come, the sooner you can leave. Now, where do you think you’re gonna want the static cams set up?” TJ asked as Mark held up the bags he’d carried in with them.

Against Devon’s wishes, they decided to film the intro for the episode in the lobby with the dead rat, the compromise being that Shane and Ryan had to sit on opposite sides of the hallway that lead back the way they’d come so that the rodent’s body wouldn’t make it into the final shot. This was agreeable to all of them, but as Shane sat there, waiting for the camera to start rolling, he couldn’t keep his eyes from wandering back to its corpse occasionally, trying to deduce what it could have died from.

They tried to film with what little natural light they had left, but the sun had already been sinking when they’d arrived. Whatever light it managed to provide ended up fading away too fast for them to effectively use, eventually prompting TJ to insist on bringing in big, bright lights so they weren’t stuck filming in the dark. As Shane squinted into the newfound light source, his eyes adjusting poorly to the brightness, he managed to get a better look at the room they were set up in.

Based on his own opinion and how little he actually knew about Léry’s, it certainly didn’t look like the kind of place run by a malicious, CIA sanctioned group of sadists; to him, it looked like a hospital, plain and simple. The white paint along the walls was cracked and peeling, revealing discoloured splotches of drywall that furthered the eerie, run-down atmosphere the building had as a whole. Regardless of that and the dead rat, there was nothing in the general vicinity that implied Léry’s might have been used for something as sinister as torture- they even had what looked to be remnants of vintage motivational posters decaying behind the reception desk. Despite how foreboding the building had looked from the outside, inside it both looked and felt normal, which made him wonder again about where his original discomfort upon viewing the building might have derived from.

“This week on the season finale of Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural, we’re investigating Léry’s Memorial Institute in Michaelstown, Illinois as a part of our ongoing investigation into the question, are ghosts real?”

Hearing Ryan’s voice pulled him from his thoughts. Unaware that they’d begun the segment, Shane turned to look at the camera Mark was holding and shook his head curtly on cue. The motion was well-practiced and concise, even if he was still squinting because of the lights.

He waited patiently as Ryan spoke of what he knew about Léry’s alleged history, repeating a lot of what he’d already mentioned to Shane earlier for the official intro. He went more in depth as he talked about the history of the building to the camera than he did with Shane, adding on some embellishments about the various conspiracy theories he’d dug up that involved what the staff at Léry’s might’ve been up to, and none of it sounded good.

“Léry’s was condemned and abandoned in 1983, and was even rumored to have been burnt down, but as you can see, since we are currently sitting inside the building, that clearly isn’t the case,” Ryan recited, shooting Shane a look that invited him in to begin a banter.

“Ryan, I swear to God if you’re trying to tell me that the building itself is a ghost, I will resign.” Shane forced his face into a serious expression that matched his disapproving tone of voice as Ryan laughed loudly. “You can get Brent back to be your new ‘ghoulfriend’ and you can just- the two of you can just run around these spooky places like a couple of headless chickens screaming about ghosts together.”

“No, that’s- that’s not what I’m saying,” Ryan said, a humorous inflection tinging his voice as he spoke. “What I’m saying is, is that someone either lied to cover up any potential future investigations into Léry’s alleged operations, or someone got it wrong; either way, Léry’s is still here.”

“And how’d you come to find that out?” Shane asked, honestly interested in Ryan’s answer. His friend had already admitted that researching the place had been hard and often netted him no real answers; if any and all official documentations surrounding Léry’s said it was no longer standing, then he wondered how Ryan was able to discover that it actually was.

“I looked up the coordinates on Google’s satellite image maps.” Shane raised his eyebrows at that, and Ryan shrugged in response. “There was a building here, and when I compared it to old images of the Memorial Institute I’d found dated pre 1980’s, they seemed to match. When I reached out to the current property owners, they agreed to let us look around as long as we didn’t try to ‘solve’ anything.”

“We never do,” Shane said wistfully, dramatically looking away for a moment, and again Ryan laughed, the sound of it echoing around the walls of the room.

“Alright, whatever, big guy; we can do all the ghost hunting we want, they said, but we have to let the sleeping dogs lie on whether or not Léry’s has a ‘tortured’ past or not; they don’t want any trouble with the government.” Ryan looked amused by his own pun, but Shane knew that his ability to find humour in little things like that wouldn’t last the night.

“Well, let’s get started then, shall we?” Shane said, slapping his hands to his thighs and beginning to feel his eagerness returning to him. He started to stand up, and Ryan sighed.

“Yeah, fuck, let’s- let’s get into it.”

“Is there anyone here with us right now?” Ryan spoke loudly and clearly as he addressed the spirit box, glancing around the room they were standing in cautiously as he held the small radio up between them. There was an overturned examination table and some rusted chairs in the room with them that Shane had initially tried to sit in, but found them too unstable to support him. “If there is, we’d really like to talk with you. My name’s Ryan, and my unnecessarily large friend here is Shane; I know he’s a little frightening to look at, but can you say either of our names?”

They waited for a response, Ryan pensively shifting his eyes around as though he might see a ghost hiding behind the old furniture while Shane did his best to not let his boredom show on camera. He waited silently for a moment, letting the spirit box spit out jumbled radio frequencies and broken fragments of words for Ryan to analyze later before deciding to chime in.

“Did you ever stop to think that the spirit box might be triggering these spirits you’re trying to contact?” he asked, voice drawling as he tucked his hands into the pockets of his denim jacket. “If that doctor you mentioned earlier really did exist, then don’t you think it stands to reason that the static from the box might be traumatizing them? Torturing them in their afterlife? Maybe that’s why they don’t want to talk to you.”

“You’re just saying that because it tortures you,” Ryan said, snickering. He opened his mouth to say something else in support of his use of the spirit box, but was hushed when it began to pick up an unusual, garbled sort of noise.

If Shane hadn’t been accustomed to the usual tones of static the spirit box produced as it skipped through radio frequencies, he would have chalked the sound that was coming through the speaker now as typical spirit box sounds, but innately he knew that it wasn’t. Whatever was coming through the radio now was different, in that it had cut through the previous channel of static to effectively broadcast the new sound.

He could tell from the stunned reaction on Ryan’s face that he, too, recognized the sound as something unusual. This wet, static noise that was coming through the receiver had been unheard by either of them before.

Ryan turned his head to look up at Shane, any trace of amusement he’d been displaying before now gone as he struggled to make sense of what he was hearing. Before either of them could properly process what they were listening to, the sound slowly tapered off into silence.

Shane stared at the box in Ryan’s hand, waiting for the usual sounds of static to come back through the speaker so he could explain the phenomenon away as some sort of malfunction. He was preemptively formulating a response to the questions Ryan was sure to start asking when the whispering began.

The voice was low and quiet, possibly male, and managed to speak uninterrupted for more than a few consecutive seconds. Shane felt his skin break out into goosebumps as he listened, leaning forward to try and get a better understanding of what was being said even as Ryan recoiled, almost dropping the spirit box in his fright.

If the voice was whispering in any known language, Shane didn’t recognize it; the words registered as garbled, barely distinguishable nonsense to his ears, but the tone with which it spoke, intent and persistent, had his hair beginning to stand on end. Everyone in the room was hushed, although Ryan was beginning to hyperventilate, his breath coming in fast, wheezing gulps. His hand was visibly trembling, but he resolutely did not drop or set the spirit box down, a small act of bravery Shane admired him for.

They didn’t have long to focus on what the voice was saying before a loud, burst of static tore out of the speaker, ending the strange noises abruptly and causing Ryan to shout in surprise. Shane blinked solemnly at the little box as it returned to flickering through regular radio channels before he met Ryan’s stupefied gaze.

“What the fuck just happened,” Ryan gasped out, quickly turning the box off and setting it aside to deal with his minor anxiety attack.

No one had an immediate answer.

“Did anyone recognize what it was saying?” Devon asked timidly. “Not trying to be an alarmist here, but that… didn’t sound human to me.”

Ryan moaned at the implication and sat down hard on the floor, uncaring of how dirty it was.

“Look, let’s just all calm down and take a minute to think about it logically,” Shane said, attempting to take control of the situation in order to soothe his companion’s panic, but he didn’t feel calm himself. His heart was thudding away rapidly in his chest, though he told himself that it was due in part to being taken off guard by the loud outburst of static that came through at the end of the transmission. “Do you know every earthly language that exists?” he asked Devon, who shook her head reluctantly. He repeated the question to Mark and TJ before directing it to Ryan, and all their answers were the same. “Neither do I; just because it spoke in a language we can’t immediately identify doesn’t mean it wasn’t human. Have we all forgotten we’re in an old, ex-governmental building that was run by the fucking CIA? The box probably just latched onto an old numbers station or something.

“And anyway, I’d expect you to be more excited about this, little guy,” he said gently to Ryan, trying to encourage a positive reaction out of him. “We caught all that on film, buddy.”

From the floor, Ryan had stopped his rapid breathing as he processed Shane’s line of reasoning. He still looked frightened, but his expression also seemed more speculative after listening to Shane deliver his cowboy speech. When Shane reached a hand down to help him up, Ryan took it.

“You’re right. We have evidence,” Ryan said slowly as he rose back to full height, his eyes lighting up as he clasped Shane’s hand tightly to his chest.

Shane winced and tried to pull his hand free, but the clammy grip with which Ryan held to it was strong. “It could be any number of things before it could be ghosts, Ryan, you know that.”

“But if it’s not any of those other things, then it- it’s real! We have actual, recorded evidence! Léry’s Memorial Institute is certified haunted, baby!”

He let go of Shane’s hand at last, his fear momentarily forgotten as he did a quick dance, pumping his fist up and down into the air in a celebratory fashion. Mark trained the camera on him to capture the moment, swapping from Ryan’s joyful expression to Shane’s look of bewildered amusement. Devon looked on with a congratulatory smile until TJ eventually spoke.

“You… do realize you still have to stay the night here, right?” TJ said somberly, knowing that what he had to say would was going to affect Ryan negatively, and already they could all see the impact his words had on him as he stopped dancing. “I’m happy for you and all, but don’t forget we have a whole episode left to shoot.” Fresh horror dawned on Ryan’s face, his excitement over finding proof of the supernatural immediately dying out when he realized it didn’t absolve him from fulfilling the rest of his contractual obligations.

“Oh, fuck, you’re right,” he said with a groan, his shoulders slumping at the remembered thought. He brought his hands to his face and dragged his fingers down, pulling at his skin. “Ohh, fuck, you’re right. Shit.”

“Certified haunted, baby,” Shane teased with a weak grin, knowing already that it was going to be a long, sleepless night for the both of them.

They explored the area a little further after the incident with the spirit box, but didn’t manage to capture or illicit any other supernatural responses to their presence, though not for lack of trying. Everywhere they went, Shane demanded that the ghosts repeat the strange audio they’d managed to capture before and called them out on their cowardice when nothing happened. Ryan grew increasingly upset with his behaviour, but Shane was out to prove a point: whatever they’d discovered through the use of the spirit box wasn’t something supernatural, and if the spirits weren’t willing to entertain them, then he wasn’t willing to entertain the notion that it could be ghosts.

The logical part of his brain demanded he debunk it immediately, even if it meant he had to poop all over Ryan’s parade in order to do so, and he planned on taking the mightiest shit he could before they wrapped up filming for the night.

Most of the upper floors of Léry’s were condemned and deemed too unsafe for them to explore, barring their ability to scope out the building in its entirety, but the ground floors were plenty big enough to take up hours’ worth of time to investigate.

With Mark and TJ’s help, they set up three static cams where Ryan thought they’d get the most activity: one in the room where they’d gotten the spirit box to communicate with them (with an EVP device they would leave on all night), one in the reception area pointing down the hall they’d entered through, and the final one in a room Ryan had called the ‘treatment theatre’, where they’d decided to bunk down for the night.

It was a circular room with one single, ominous examination table set up in the middle over a system of rusty, grated flooring. A large set-up of outdated lighting systems hung low and broken over it, hanging like an untended widowmaker’s tree waiting to collapse, and for the first time that night Shane wondered if perhaps Ryan’s torture theory might have some truth behind it. Copper stains could be seen leading from the table to the grated floors, and he resolutely decided not to focus on them.

On the floor above them, reached only by a set of stairs set into the back of the room, was a windowed viewing booth that jutted out from the wall. A sense of unease overcame him as Shane looked at it, wondering what the people of the past had need of to stand up there in a room such as this, but he knew in the back of his mind what the answer to that was.

He tried to tuck his discomfort away as he laid out his sleeping bag next to Ryan’s, and wound up unsettling some dust into the air as he smoothed it out and plopped his pillow into place. He grimaced and tried to suppress a cough, but doing so only made the urge to cough worse. Ryan watched him hack whatever he’d inhaled into the crook of his arm, a wry smile of amusement playing at his lips.

“Need some water?” Devon asked, stepping forward with a water bottle already in hand.

Shane took it gratefully and drank until he felt his throat clear up. “Thanks,” he said as he capped it and set the bottle down beside his pillow.

“Should we see you guys out?” Ryan asked as Mark finished adjusting the camera that was set facing their sleeping bags, the red recording light already blinking with purpose.

Mark shrugged as he stood, taking his big shoulder camera back from TJ, who had had been dutifully holding it for him so he didn’t have to set it on the dirty floor.

“Nah, I think we can find our way out on our own,” TJ said as Mark wiped his knees clean of the grime. “I know you’ll probably just bolt if you get anywhere close to the exit anyway, Bergara.”

It was Shane’s turn to smirk as Ryan scowled, knowing that there was definitely some truth in that statement. Ryan had been unusually on edge throughout the rest of their investigation after their incident with the spirit box, and all Shane’s goading had done was make it worse.

“Have a good night, guys,” Devon said, looking uncertain about leaving them alone. She gave a little wave as Mark and TJ each said their goodbyes in turn. “We’ll see you in the morning; be safe, okay?”

“We’ll be fine; what’s the worst that’ll happen? A rat takes a nibble out of one of our ears?” Shane mustered up a smile he hoped looked assuring, but Devon didn’t seem comforted by it.

“The closest hotel we could book is 20 minutes away, but even still, don’t hesitate to call if you need something,” she said, and TJ nodded in affirmation.

“We’ll come as quick as we can,” he said, and Shane wasn’t sure why, but his words left a heavy weight in his stomach.

“Guys, we’ll be fine, this isn’t our first rodeo,” Shane said exasperatedly, and Ryan backed him up with a nod.

“The ghoul boys know how to behave themselves during a spooky sleepover,” he affirmed, but didn’t have the confidence required to back up what he was saying.

Still, Devon looked a little less doubtful and finally relented. She bid them goodnight once more before the three of them took their leave, carrying all the extra equipment Shane and Ryan wouldn’t need away with them to make packing up a little easier in the morning.

None of them knew it would be the last time they ever saw each other.

Shane sat down on his sleeping bag with a slight grunt and listened to their crew’s footsteps receding out of the room and away from them, echoing down the hall ominously. He waited until he couldn’t hear them anymore before he started getting ready for sleep, peeling away the opening of his sleeping bag to tuck his long legs inside.

“And then there were two,” he said rather cheerfully to Ryan as he got comfortable. He was met with a miserable sigh as his co-host begrudgingly slid into his own sleeping bag. He zipped it up promptly and stared up at the ceiling bitterly.

“You say that every time they leave, give it a rest already.”

“But it’s true every time it warrants being said,” Shane replied, drawing his phone out of his pocket and opening up Twitter. “We’re the only two people left in here; anyone else doesn’t exist, and you seem to need reminding of that fairly often.”

Ryan sighed shakily and turned his flashlight off, casting them both into the gloomy darkness, broken only by the glow of Shane’s phone as he scrolled through his social media feed.

“Shane? Are you awake? I’m kinda freaking out hardcore over here, buddy.”

It took a moment for Shane to register that he was being spoken to as he blinked the sleep out of his eyes, rolling over in his bag to face where Ryan was laid out. As his vision adjusted to the dark, he could see that Ryan was wide-awake, still staring up at the ceiling where the viewing booth stuck out like a sore thumb.

“What?” Shane asked, his voice heavy and tired, rumbling out of his throat in a low timbre. “Whatsit?”

“I- I can’t sleep,” Ryan admitted, his voice sounding small.

“Surprising absolutely no one,” Shane muttered before yawning loudly and rubbing the crust out of the corners of his eyes; he’d only been just been able to fall asleep before Ryan woke him up.

“Shut up,” Ryan grumbled. “It- I can’t sleep because it feels like- it feels like we’re being watched. I know it’s just the dark, but sometimes I think I can see people up there, looking down at us.”

Shane turned his gaze up to the viewing booth, but couldn’t see anything that looked like what Ryan was worrying about. His eyes did try to force shapes out of the darkness behind the window, but he intrinsically knew that it was just his mind playing tricks on him, trying to get him to see things that weren’t actually there. “There’s no one here but us, Ryan,” he reminded him, turning his attention back to his friend.

“But the voice on the spirit box-”

“-was just a voice,” Shane cut in. “And look, I’ll be honest with you- it was a little jarring, and I’ll admit to being a little unnerved by it myself, if that makes you feel any better.”

“Wh- no! Why would that make me feel better?” Ryan spluttered, finally tearing his eyes away from the booth above them to fix his wide-eyed stare on Shane. “You’re supposed to be my, my grounding rock, my calming spirit; how can you be scared? You’re not allowed to be afraid, I- I’m the one who fears!”

Shane stared at Ryan for one wordless minute before breaking out into a hearty laugh, his voice carrying around the room and making it sound louder than it was.

“Alright, calm down there cowardly Heisenberg; I didn’t say I was scared, just unnerved,” he clarified. His laugh seemed to ease some of Ryan’s worries, as his face cracked into a tentative grin at his words. “It was weird, yes, but nothing else strange happened while we were walking around, did it?”

“No, I guess not,” Ryan admitted, looking a little sheepish now. He contemplated Shane’s words quietly for a moment before he asked, “Do you really think it was just a numbers channel?”

“I think it’s a possibility, yes,” Shane said, picking his words carefully so as not to exacerbate Ryan’s anxieties. He honestly had no idea what it was or what it could be, but he wasn’t anywhere near ready yet to admit that it could’ve had supernatural origins. “We’re in a weird old government hospital; I think the most likely thing to have happened is that our little boxy pal picked up on a weird frequency we weren’t supposed to have access to and gave us a glimpse into something that wasn’t meant for us.”

“Yeah, but, we’re in Illinois,” Ryan began, picking at the zippered hem of his sleeping bag as he put the thoughts he’d been ruminating on into words.

“So? If you’re about to start shit-talking this wholesome state, so help me God, we’re going to have to start exchanging some serious words here.”

“No, that’s not what- Look, Illinois is in America; what possible radio frequency being broadcast here could we have picked up on that doesn’t speak English, or any other spoken American language, or even human?” Ryan asked, gesticulating around them as he spoke.

Shane sighed and rolled onto his back, adjusting his pillow to better support his neck. “You don’t know that it’s not any known human language, Ryan, we established that. It was probably just some kind of a looping cipher the CIA forgot to turn off when they moved out, not some- some demon speaking to us in tongues.”

Beside him, Ryan groaned loudly and quickly withdrew his arms back into his sleeping bag, as though he were afraid that by naming it, one would suddenly appear.

“Please don’t say demon.”

“You just did,” Shane said, unable to keep himself from speaking rather snidely. Ryan shot him a pointed look of annoyance, but he couldn’t help his uncooperative attitude in that moment. He was sleepy, and could feel all the dust they’d been breathing in coagulating deep in his lungs. He was irritated, and he let it show. “Look, Ry, we can discuss this all we want tomorrow, but I am incredibly tired right now. Just… try and get some sleep, okay? We’ll pick this up later.”

“I think we both know that’s not gonna happen,” Ryan muttered, but he mercifully let the issue drop.

Whether or not their conversation had helped or hindered Ryan, Shane couldn’t say. It had been a strange night for both of them, all things considered, and he wanted nothing more than to just be done with it. As he closed his eyes to try and go back to sleep, the last thing Shane would later recall seeing was the darkness taking shape in the form of a face looming behind the window pane of the viewing booth, looking down upon them intently. A strange metallic taste wouldn’t leave his mouth no matter how much water he drank to try and ride himself of it, and although Ryan had forsaken the notion of sleep for himself entirely, he too eventually drifted off unawares.

And that was all it took; by the morning they were gone, taken without a trace, everything they’d brought with them left behind and undisturbed.

#buzzfeed unsolved #ryan bergara #shane madej #dead by daylight #buzzfeed unsolved: supernatural #rpf #supernatural rpf #AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT #remember when i mentioned id fish-flopped into another fandom? it was unsolved

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bittykimmy13 · 6 years

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Queen of the Sea (GT): Chapter 4

((All posted chapters))

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KAIA

As her eyes adjusted to the light, Kaia could scarcely draw a breath. The silence that followed Ailith’s statement felt like a leaden weight upon the room. And then the quiet was broken when two dozen mercenaries--giants to her--clamored closer to take a better look at her, their questioning voices ringing in her ears. She squeezed her eyes shut, hardly able to make out a word in the commotion. The fingers coiled tighter around her body as she was lifted higher. Her eyes snapped open, and she found herself in front of her captor’s narrowed gaze. Andrea. Clearly the second in command aboard the ship. There was such a predatory glint in those sharp green depths, it was no wonder she was called the Huntress. Kaia still had her fishing hook and line tucked under her shirt. She could use it as a weapon, but that seemed unwise when she was suspended so high off the ground. “What is this?” Andrea demanded, her voice so close and sharp that Kaia was able to catch the words amongst all the cacophony. Kaia was relieved of her intense eyes as she turned to glare at Devian. “You said you swindled your magic map from sea nymphs. Is this one of them? Have you been keeping her captive in your pocket? You're sick! How in the hell was she not found earlier?” Kaia felt a stab of surprise. It sounded almost like the Huntress was outraged on her behalf.

Devian made a choked noise. “She has not been in my pocket since I arrived! I met her aboard this ship! You have some nerve calling me sick when you’re threatening to throw me overboard for the crime of existing aboard the Cutlass!”

“You’ve yet to answer the question of what she is.” Ailith’s voice was almost musical. Gentle. But when she spoke, all the others silenced herself. Where Andrea looked furious, the queen looked intrigued. She extended a finger, brushing Kaia’s hair experimentally. The touch was feather-light, but Kaia ducked her head with a whimper all the same at the contact. “She very well could be a sea nymph,” Ailith mused, “with this gorgeous hair.” Kaia offered no comment, trembling in Andrea’s hold. She doubted she could find her words even if she wanted to. Her most terrible fear had come to fruition and all she could do was cower like a weakling and be thoroughly disgusted with herself for it. “She’s nothing like any sea nymph I’ve ever seen,” a nereid said. Ondine, she had been called. She stunningly light blue hair and eyes to match. “They’re supposed to have fins and solid colored eyes.” “As if you’ve ever laid eyes on a sea nymph,” snorted a pyromancer. “No one asked you, Thorne,” Ondine hissed. “She could be a wind nymph!” someone put in. “What would a wind nymph be doing out in the middle of the ocean?” “What about a fae?” another said. “A fae would not let herself get captured so easily by a human! Look at her--she’s defenseless! Besides, they're supposed to have wings.” Soon enough, the room was filled again with everyone talking over each other to voice their opinions or questions. All the while, Kaia kept her head lowered. But she could feel every eye on her. The curious stares of the crew, the mysterious gaze of the queen, the guilt-ridden attempts of Devian to make eye contact. Worst of all, she could feel the sharp glare of the Huntress right before her. “Clear out, the lot of you,” Ailith said suddenly, quieting all the others. “Everyone out, except my Huntress and our two… guests. Thorne and Malika, stand guard outside the door. Go on.” Kaia dared to peer up. Eyes were still on her. Many in the crew looked like they wanted to argue, but they seemed to know better. The two mercenaries holding Devian released him. He made no move to run--there was nowhere for him to go, anyway. He was just as trapped and doomed as Kaia. As the room emptied, panic gave way to heavy despair in Kaia’s heart. For a few glorious minutes with Devian in the brig, she’d had hope. Hope that she could reach the treasure and reform her life back to the way it was supposed to be. Now, that hope and far more was being stripped away from her. “I don’t much appreciate stowaways,” Ailith said, strolling over to her throne. Her long coat billowed gently around her, as if a flowing aura of gentle air followed her. She had admitted to being half-sylph--a conjurer of wind. She took a seat at her throne and crossed her booted legs, regarding Kaia with a soft smile. “Stowaways are leeches, parasites who take resources that don’t belong to them. But you are… a most interesting stowaway. One that I simply cannot do away with. What exactly might you be, my dear?” Kaia’s insides squirmed like a nest of sea serpents. Unlike Devian, she had a feeling that the queen would not leave her alone without an answer. She struggled to breathe. Andrea’s hold was firm, tight. Even if it had been gentle, Kaia doubted speaking would have been an easy feat. “I-I might be a sea nymph,” she croaked out in clipped words, bowing her head. “Abandoned by my people. Simply trying to survive these harsh seas. Your Majesty.” Ailith laughed. “I don’t believe a word of that. Do you, Andrea?” “Not for a second,” Kaia’s captor grunted. “Ondine may be a river nereid, but she certainly knows more about sea nymphs than we do. If she says sea nymphs have fins and a particular set of eyes, then this is no sea nymph in my hand.” Kaia swallowed hard. “I-It matters not what I am! I mean no harm. As I said, I am only trying to survive. And as for your resources, anything I would have taken would not have been noticed. You have so much, I wouldn’t have made so much as a dent in one crate of food.” “Hmm.” Ailith cocked her head, observing Kaia almost languidly. “If you don’t want to answer what you are, that is perfectly fine. Given how defenseless you appear, it won’t be hard at all to sell you at the next port.” “W-what?” Kaia squeaked out. The queen grinned. “You’re eye-catching, my dear. Your size, and your hair. Mysterious and beautiful. You’ll fetch a wonderful price at a luxury market. My Huntress, have someone find a suitable cage for her. The one that held the harpy will do nicely.” Kaia’s mouth and throat went absolutely dry. She felt ill, but no more than a croak of horror passed her lips. “You can’t!” Devian declared. “You can’t sell her!” Ailith looked almost bored when she regarded him, as though he was a nuisance spoiling her fun. “And why is that?” Devian pointed right at Kaia, as though he might be referring to anybody else in the empty room. “She is the key to obtaining the treasure once we arrive at the shrine. I can read the map, but she can’t. She can activate the treasure, but I can’t. You need the both of us to get what you want.” “Interesting,” Andrea said, lowering Kaia slightly, where her voice wasn’t quite as jarring, but the view of her became more intimidating. “Just minutes ago, you claimed it was only you we needed to find and get the treasure. And now, you’ve been discovered a liar.” He stammered for a second, then answered, “I didn’t want to reveal her for her own safety. You’re mercenaries. You’ve only proved my choice right by immediately planning to sell her!” Kaia looked between them helplessly as they argued. Her life had been so simple that morning, and now it was being argued over without her say in the matter. “You claimed to have met this little… something aboard the ship,” Andrea went on. “How do you know she can activate the treasure? Hell, even you admitted to not knowing what she is!” “We’ve only just met! You barged in on us before we could speak for very long.” Devian ran both his hands back through his hair, trying to gather himself. “This is what I know. The treasure is… mysterious, ancient. A well-kept secret by gods and demigods themselves. And Kaia recognized it before I even full explained it to her. She has knowledge of it--enough to reveal herself to me even though she was frightened. Clearly, she has use. It would be unwise to risk something so dire. You cannot sell her.” A terrible mix of emotions twisted in Kaia’s gut. Devian was defending her, she understood, but the knowledge that her life hinged on her usefulness was enough to make her wish she had never revealed herself to him. She was merely a tool, a necessity. “Now this is simply delicious,” Ailith sighed, planting her chin on her knuckles. “These are terribly bold claims you’re making. I should kill you for lying to begin with, boy, but I’m simply too intrigued. The energy and resources it will take to fulfill your claim, however… What say you, Andrea? Should we throw the boy overboard and sell the girl, or shall we keep them both and embark on this adventure?” Kaia looked up at Andrea and found her staring back. Kaia flinched, but didn’t look away. The Huntress had mentioned something about Devian owing his life to her. Perhaps she had vouched for him to the queen. Certainly the same could be done for Kaia. “The girl can’t have had anything to do with the Cutlass crew,” Andrea said finally. “She has to have come from that ship. There is simply no way she arrived from somewhere before today. She would have been discovered.” She sighed, hesitating. “Someone as small as her poses no threat to our supplies. She’s only trying to get by, and she was no target to begin with.” Ailith’s eyebrows shot up. “Is that pity I hear, my Huntress? Oh… that won’t do at all. You’re beginning to sound like our dear, sweet Devian here. Innocence does not equal harmlessness.” Andrea became stony-faced at once--a startling change that made Kaia’s blood run cold. “No, my queen. What I meant to say is that there are better benefits in keeping these two. If they are lying, the girl will sell for more than enough to cover the supplies the two of them use aboard the ship. If they tell the truth, then they lead us to an incredibly valuable treasure.” The queen nodded slowly, deep in thought as she weighed Andrea’s words. Meanwhile, Andrea made quick eye contact with Kaia. Her expression was unreadable, making her all the more terrifying. Ailith laughed suddenly. “You truly are a huntress, through and through, making the most of her resources to benefit the most. Oh, I adore you.” With that, she stood. “They will stay, then.” Devian’s shoulders drooped with relief. “And once the treasure is yours, you’ll let us go?” “We’ll see,” Ailith said coyly. “For now, thank your god of choice that you aren’t under the ship.” She strolled over to the sliding doors and pulled them open. “Thorne! Find some chains. I want to keep Devian close. Cuff him in here, won’t you?” “And this girl?” Andrea sked, speaking over Devian’s protest to being confined. A fiercer light entered the queen’s eyes. “I simply cannot have you losing your edge. She’s your prisoner for now. Your prey. Your responsibility. Get what information you can from her, however you can. As long as she’s still in one piece to unlock this marvelous treasure, do whatever you see fit with her.” The fingers around Kaia tightened ever so slightly. She could practically feel Andrea’s outrage pouring straight through their skin-to-skin contact. Andrea breathed out sharply. “Your Majesty, I--” “You’ll do as I say,” the queen said calmly. “See that you have answers to report to me by tonight. And consider very carefully if you wish to show pity again.” No sooner than Ailith sauntered outside through the forecastle doors, two mercenaries entered with chains for Devian. He stepped back swiftly, throwing a wide-eyed look at Kaia. She trembled in Andrea’s hands, staring hard at him. Why did you have to put me in your pocket? she wanted desperately to demand of him. In a matter of moments, he was chained to the wall, and Andrea was briskly walking out of the forecastle. Their audience with the Queen of the Sea was over.

#mywriting #gt #gt writing #queen of the sea #kaia #andrea #devian #ailith #thorne #ondine

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yoonia · 7 years

Text

About Time // Part 7

Character: Jungkook x reader / Jimin x reader (feat. BTS)

↳ Type/Genre/words: Angst, Alternate Universe (Time Travel!au/Time Leap!au, Soulmate!au), Smut / 17,068 words

↳ Prompts: “What if you find your soulmate… at the wrong time?” - Lauren Kate, Passion

↳ Summary: Be careful for what you wish for, because you may never know how to deal with them once it comes true. What would you do when your wish for a second chance actually came true? But was it really a fulfilled wish? Too many questions lie when it actually happened. Were they real memories? Or perhaps a part of a past life? Was it only a dream all along? Will everything be different this time?

↳ Warnings: This chapter contains a smut scene, fingering (f receiving), first-time, penetrative sex, alcohol consumption

↳ ⤎ Previous Chapter | series index: about time | Next Chapter ⇢

—First life, year 2016—

“We’re here!”

I looked up as my flatmate started screaming joyfully as she ran ahead of me. She had been practically dragging me down the streets all the way to the frat house, heading to where one of the loudest party of the year was being held that night.

“Oh my God, look it’s packed already! And I can hear the music from here! I wonder if anyone is calling the cops already,” she squealed in awe, almost hopping on her heels with her hands pulling my wrist to make sure I was not going to run away. “Sure hope they have enough booze for all these people!”

“I absolutely hope so,” I answered her with a groan. Both of my ankles were sore because of the dreadful heels she made me wear. My answer was also my silent prayer, for that was the only reason why I had agreed to join her tonight. After the whole semester of being stuck in classes, never-ending assignments, and binding exams, I was going to need some alcohol boost to help me let loose. I was pretty sure that everyone that filled the house had the same thoughts as I did.

It was the last day of our final exam, after all.

It was not that I hated going to parties. I mean, I have had my shares of partying myself. All those nights I spent dancing my ass off with strange college boys and jocks, and waking up in the morning with hangovers. But that was last semester. That was my life before I started failing in classes and finding myself nearly losing my best friend who had grown tired of taking care of my drunken mess every night when he was supposed to be studying.

Tonight became my only ticket out since Taehyung had gone back to our hometown right after his exams had ended, and I had told my flatmate that I needed to have a night out. There was nothing better than drinking my misery away after getting through an exam, especially the one which I may have completely failed myself in.

“Yura, come on, you need to slow down and chill. At least give me time to breathe for a bit,” I whined and tried to pull my hand off her clutching grip.

“Okay, okay,” she giggled, finally letting me go and turning to face me so she could take a look closer at my dress and makeup. “Well, I did pretty well. You look less like a girl who’s been drowning in papers for the whole year.”

“Thank you for the help, my Fairy Godmother,” I laughed with her as I playfully bowed. “I already told you that I’m only coming with you to grab drinks, I don’t really see the point of why I should dress up like this. Unless you really are expecting me to hook up with a beer jug.”

She laughed and shrugged. “You never know. I might not be the only one who’s getting lucky tonight,” she said, before pacing towards the front door, swaying her hips as she walked past a few boys who were hanging out and drinking on the driveway.

I followed her close behind while trying my best to ignore the curious gazes that kept following us, flattening my palms over my dress and softly tugging the bottom hem to stop it from riding up towards my hip. For someone who was so used to be wearing jeans and shirts—well, probably occasional summer dresses when I felt like it—wearing a terribly short bodycon dress was torture. But no one could fight Yura once she had made up her mind, and she would not leave our flat until I agreed to wear her dress.

“That’s okay. Breathe,” I told myself. “Get a few drinks, probably a few dances, have fun. And the minute you forget about that fucked up exam, you can go and run back home as fast as you can.” The words failed to make me feel at least a bit more excited, however, since I was somehow already missing the comfort of my own bed. “Oh, come on, you’ve done this before,” I grunted under my breath as I made my way further into the party.

A little over an hour later, I found solace in the drinks they served in red plastic cups, no longer care to where Yura had disappeared to as I downed my second portion of mixed tequila and orange juice around the kitchen area. That was until I suddenly got pushed away when a group of rowdy frat boys came in to take over the kitchen for a drinking game, forcing me to leave and make my way to find the back porch. I needed the fresh air anyway, since it seemed like the college kids inside the house just kept multiplying and the loud music felt too much for my tipsy head to handle.

I breathed in the fresh air as I stepped out. The porch was only occupied by a small number of people shying away from the crowd, most were already too intoxicated to notice me joining them. The ignorance was a blessing for me. But the silence that suddenly enveloped me was also deafening.

Maybe I shouldn’t have come to this party, I thought silently when I suddenly felt so alone at such a foreign place.

I closed my eyes to enjoy the breeze of fresh air, to ignore the drumming beat inside my chest. The muffled sound of music behind me was the only sign showing me that I was still far from passing out. Not that I was drunk enough to be yet.

The serene moment took away my thoughts, and I was soon lost in it, taken away from the party and everything that was happening around me as my mind wandered to anywhere else but here. I let a few minutes passed, before I opened my eyes and lifted the cup in my hand to drink, only to find out that they were indeed already empty.

“Damn it,” I cursed, dreading the thought of having to return towards the ruckus in the kitchen only to have a refill. But I could not help it. I needed to get more of those drinks before I could go back to my empty flat. Perhaps I could get something even stronger so I could return early.

“Oof—”

I was met with a broad chest covering my path as I turned around towards the back door.

“I’m sorry—” I clumsily apologized before lifting my face to look at the other casualty of our clash.

The man before me was snickering in shock and still had not noticed me standing there yet, until he shook his head and started blinking his eyes rapidly, still saying on his two clumsy feet before he finally saw me. “F-fuck—no, it’s okay,” he said, scanning me from the top of my head and down to my legs as if he was measuring me. Meanwhile, I was starting to get incredibly annoyed when a thick scent of alcohol came out from his breath, and to the fact that this brute was on the way between me and my tequila.

“Are you lost?” His grin widened, the shock on his face turned into a disgusting flirty grin, and all the alarm in my head immediately started blaring as I realized that he was nothing but trouble.

“No, I’m fine. I just need to get back inside.”

“What are you doing out here all by yourself?” He clumsily looked around, before turning to look at my face again. “How about I keep you company? I can be a lot of fun. What do you say, hmm?”

I winced the moment he lifted his hand, and took a step backwards when he suddenly reached out to grab my waist. “No, thank you,” I quickly answered, failing to sound firm and steady when I almost tripped on my own heels. My movements were a bit too clumsy thanks to my hazy mind.

Okay, I guess I am a bit drunk already.

“Look, I just want to be alone, alright?” I tried to block him from getting closer by putting my hands up and tried to move around him. Judging from the size of his body and muscled arms, I could already tell that once he got his hands on me, I might never be able to fight him off. And I was beginning to feel a bit terrified.

“Oh, come on, babe. I promise to show you a good time,” he kept pushing on and once again trying to reach out, this time aiming for my wrist. And he won.

“What the—? Let go of me!” I shrieked. I tried to pull my hand away, but even the drunken state he was in did not lessen his strength at all. He only laughed, all while toying with me by pushing and pulling my arm as I tried to get away. And for the first time ever, I was scared for life and felt helpless.

“Hey!”

The man slightly jumped when a voice coming from behind him interrupted us. I looked over, blinking away the tear in my eyes and saw someone standing behind him with a threatening glare. “Let her go. Everyone can see she doesn’t want your company,” he said.

He looked a bit smaller than the one currently holding me, but I could sense how his presence made the prick in front of me faltered.

“Get inside and stay away, Kookie. This is none of your business,” he barked at the intruder, while I threw my pleading eyes at him instead, which he was able to catch on.

“It is my business if you’re harassing my guest. Let her go, Jay. Now!”

“Or what, Kookie? What are you going to do, huh?” He taunted with a clenched jaw, pulling me harder towards him but not so much so I could stop myself from falling onto his chest.

“Or I will ban you from our events and our house for good. How does that sound?”

The man named Jay, whose hand was starting to leave marks on my wrist, started to falter. Yet he was too drunk and too stubborn to give in easily. “You won’t be able to do that.”

“Try me.”

I looked over between this Jay guy and to Kookie, the one who challenged him. Both of them were clenching their jaws and neither of them seemed to show any signs of giving in. The tension around us started rising, both men emitting such a strong alpha male vibe and I started to worry that they would start hurting each other if neither of them would give in.

But then Jay started cursing under his breath and abruptly let go of my hand, almost causing me to fall back. “Fine. Fuck. The chick is yours,” he grunted, before walking away to the opposite side of the porch, away from Kookie and myself. “See you later, bitch,” he snapped at me before I lost sight of him.

I looked down on my wrist and started to rub the soreness he left behind, while trying my best to hold back my tears.

“Hey, are you alright?”

He called me with a soft voice, my saviour, reminding me that he was still standing right there. I looked up at him, finally able to see his face more clearly once I managed to hold my tears from flowing out. I recognised him as one of the boys that had occupied the kitchen earlier, one of the contenders on the drinking competition, who kept his probing eyes on me as I passed through the crowd to leave the room. I remembered meeting him before as well, although I have never gotten to know his name. We belonged in different crowds after all, albeit always meeting up in random parties.

“I—uh, I’m—” I tried to speak, but I was still too shaken by what had just happened, still too scared that I somehow lost my voice.

He moved towards me with long strides, reaching to me in only two long steps, and I instinctively took a step backwards. “Hey, hey—It’s okay,” he gently spoke with his hands raised. “I just want to make sure you’re okay. Can I look at it?”

I was hesitant at first. But his eyes looked so genuinely worried and his voice was calming enough to make me feel safe. I was still too weak to fight anyone off anyway.

“Okay—” I whispered, standing at where I was as he came closer. I held my sore wrist before his hand reached forward to take my hand so he could look at it. The moment I let go of my grip, the red mark on my skin appeared.

He cursed under his breath while shaking his head. “Does it hurt? Do you want some ice for it?”

“No, it’s okay,” I mumbled and looked away.

“Well, then—Do you want to leave? Is there anyone who can take you home?”

I looked up at him. He was staring at me with a concerned look as he waited for my answer. At this point, my logical mind was screaming at me—

Go home, ______. Your cozy bed is much safer than here.

Unfortunately, as I kept my eyes looking at his gorgeous face, I chose to listen to the other half of my brain. Its nemesis, which seemed to enjoy dragging me into making foolish decisions. “I might not be drunk enough to go home.”

He laughed at what I had just absentmindedly said to him. “Alright, come on. Let me get you a drink,” he said.

I only stood there in silence. My brows knitted together as I stared at him all confused, clasping my hands in front of me while I looked back and forth between his hand which he extended towards me and his face.

He saw my hesitation and smiled. “I’m not going to try to do anything you don’t want me to, okay? I promise I won’t put any weird stuff in your drinks or even think about tricking you into anything. I’m just worried about leaving you out here alone.”

I fell silent when I looked at him closely, studying his face to see if there was any harm or threats hiding behind his sparkling eyes. Which was certainly not an easy task to do when I was as drunk and as hazy as I was. Perhaps it was the alcohol, or the aftermath from the previous encounter I was still reeling over, but I saw his sincerity from his eyes.

“Okay—” I whispered. “But, just—If you do anything to me, or try anything funny, I will start screaming murder and I will run out of here as fast as I can after hurting you with these heels.”

“Deal.” He gave me a warm, reassuring smile, and I could not stop myself from returning it with my own.

He guided me back inside. His towering height came clear to me as he walked beside me with his hand guiding on my back. “Do you want to come with me to the bar or wait for me right here?” He leaned closer just so I could hear him speak against the loud music.

I looked around and scanned through the crowded room. A chill ran down my spine. The scene of the rowdy party was surprisingly starting to intimidate me and I was scared of being left alone. “I think—I should go with you.”

He merely smiled, before he started guiding me across the room with his hand pressing on the small of my back all the way to the bar. It was practically a makeshift bar, using a stool table as its counter that was set at the corner of the living room. I could only wonder how they managed to keep the drinks flowing all night from that tiny corner itself.

I looked over as we walked by, and caught the sight of the prick who had tried to harass me earlier standing across the room with a group of jocks. A girl was leaning on his chest while he had his hands roaming all over her body. As if he could sense me looking his way, he raised his face and searched around until he met my eyes. And even when his lips were preoccupied, biting and kissing the girl he was currently holding in his arms, he still had the nerve to throw a wink at me.

By how a warm palm steadily rested on my waist before I felt him pulling me close, I knew that my saviour had seen it too. His eyes were filled with disgust as he glared at the other man, before he looked at me, changing his gaze into a more gentle one. “Stay by my side, okay?” I heard him speak with a clenched jaw.

“Yeah, okay—”

I stood next to him as he called out to his friend who was tending the drinks, and waited until he turned to hand me a fresh cup filled with drinks. I reached out to take the cup from him, only to have him pulling away with a sly grin. “I know that I promised you and said I won’t pull any tricks, but—” he bit his lips when he saw me lifting an eyebrow, “—can I trade this drink for a name?’

Pointing at myself, I stared at him with wide eyes as if to question what he had meant, which he answered with a wide grin and a nod.

Of course, he is asking for your name, idiot.

I leaned forward and stood on my tiptoes just so I could speak to his ears. “My name is _____.”

His smile widened right before he finally passed the plastic cup to me. “Nice to see you again, _____. It’s been a while,” he said as he leaned closer so I could hear his voice.

I looked at him a frown. “’Again’? Do you know me?”

He shrugged while he drank from his cup. “I used to see you around at parties like these. I remember you came to one of our gatherings. But then you disappeared before I ever got any chance to get to know you, or to even know your name.”

I bit my lip, trying my best to ignore the fluttering inside my chest. “Is that the reason why you were staring at me back at the kitchen?”

“So you saw me, huh?” He chuckled. “Yeah, that’s exactly why. It was fortunate that I did, though. I only looked away for a moment to do the beer challenge and when I saw you again that jackass was already trying to get his hands on you.”

I shuddered at the thought of what had happened. My hand instantly went to touch my wrist which still had shades of red on it. “Thank you, for saving my ass back there.”

“Anytime,” he said, giving me a smile which nearly had my knees weaken. But then again, I could not really tell if my body was reacting to his smile or due to the booze in my hand.

“So, ’Kookie’?”

He laughed. “That’s what everyone calls me. I’m Jungkook.”

I repeated his name and felt how it slid smoothly on my tongue. “It’s nice to have met you, Jungkook. And thank you, really.”

He lifted his cup to drink—hiding his shy grin in the process—while keeping his eyes on me. I had to look away and hide my own smile by drinking when his deep stare became too unbearable. “I’m really glad you came tonight,” he said to me before handing me another cup of drink after I finished my first.

I merely sighed. “I wish I could say the same thing.”

“Why?” He frowned. “Because of that prick? Is being rescued by me not enough to save the night?”

I nearly choked on my drink when he made me laugh. “I don’t know. Maybe? Or maybe I’m just too overwhelmed with everything that’s going on tonight since I basically had decided to come only for the drinks.”

He pursed his lips. “Okay, so—Should we get you another then?”

I shook my head and pointed at the one I was holding, letting him know that I had barely finished it. I had completely forgotten my initial plan of getting a stronger one.

“I’m bored with drinks.”

“So—What do you want to do now?”

Suddenly feeling terribly bold, I said nothing as I looked at him, sending him a smile before I downed the rest of my drink. He kept his eyes on me as I dumped the empty red cup away and slowly made my way to the center of the dance floor.

“Where are you going?” he called for me, fighting the loud music. I kept staring at him even as I joined in with the dancing crowd, swaying my hips and hands to the beat of the music between the sweaty hot bodies around me.

He never looked away. An amused look appeared in his eyes before they darkened, watching me as I kept dancing on my own, boldly performing for him from the dance floor. I danced for another minute only to tease him, and started waving my hands in front of me, acting out as if I was reaching out to him and calling him to join me. He grinned and started chuckling to himself. I watched him downed his drink in one go before making his way to join me.

“Hello again,” I greeted him as he finally reached me.

I let him rest his hands on my waist as we danced along with the music, and he leaned down to whisper, “You are driving me completely insane.”

No words were said to answer him. Instead, I reached up to wrap my arms around his neck as we continued dancing with our bodies pressing so close to each other. His dark gaze that was staring straight into my eyes, the scent of his cologne, his tight grip on my hips, and the heat he emitted from his hard body was the only things that mattered. And I relished the moment as he helped me forget about the crowd of drunken mass surrounding us.

“Are you following me?”

I had lost track of time and had lost count of how much I drank before I left the party. The only reason I even stopped was how Jungkook pushed away the last cup I was handed to by the tab handler. The party had also gotten completely out of hand that I could not stand to be there any longer, especially when I could not find Yura even as I searched anywhere for her. Perhaps she just never wanted to be found since she never even tried to call or text me, and my own calls were left unanswered. Which was probably why I did not even try so hard to look.

My head was pounding as I walked down on the empty road. I could not tell whether it was engraved that way from the loud music or from the drinks which I had gotten at the party, but judging from the way I kept on stumbling on my own two legs, it may have been the latter. I was still practically dancing when I was walking on the sidewalk, and even did a few turns to see him following me behind.

“Yes, I am. I already told you, I can’t let you walk out here on your own,” Jungkook told me, rushing ahead when my last turn nearly caused me to fall face first onto the pavings. I let out a yelp right when he caught my hand and stopped my fall. “See? I can’t take my eyes off of you without worrying that you’ll get hurt.”

I looked up and giggled. “Aw—My hero.”

He responded to me with a small laugh and wrapped his arm around my waist to hold me up. “Alright, come on. Let’s get you home safely. Tell me where to go.”

I looked around and pointed, “That way. I live in the student flat down this road.”

We continued to walk until we reached my flat with my body literally clinging to him, talking to each other on the way there. He was constantly asking me things to keep me awake, which mostly became a blur since I was too drunk to process everything that was happening and I was terribly sleepy.

I never would have thought that alcohol and his body warmth was the perfect combination to cure my sleeping disorder.

“Here we are,” I groaned as we walked into the building. He helped me walk up the stairs and kept holding my waist tightly as I struggled to open the door. I turned around as I walk past the door only to bid him goodbye, yet my body failed me. Once again, I stumbled on my own two clumsy legs and he had to help me walk inside.

“Where’s your bedroom?” He gently asked me, his voice sounding like a whisper. My whole body shivered under his touch and to the feeling of his warm breath as he spoke so close to me.

“Are you trying to get me into bed with you?” I asked him, biting my lips nervously while still pointing out to where he needed to take me to.

He chuckled and held me close to him as pushed my bedroom door open. “Oh, I am getting you to bed. But not the way you are thinking.”

“Why not?” I pouted.

“Because we are both drunk, and this is not how I had imagined our first time would be after wondering for so long about where you had disappeared to.”

I could not tell if his confession was a slip up on his part of being drunk himself, or if he had meant to say them out loud. But I was too drunk to care.

“Have you been waiting for me?”

“Yes, I have. And I don’t want to let you slip away from me again,” he growled with his face so close to mine.

My logical mind was starting to sound the alarm again, screaming for me to not fall for his sweetly drunken words and warning me that he meant trouble. But I supposed that part of my mind was meant to keep losing that night, because I had chosen to listen to the other part of my conscience—the more stubborn one, as a matter of fact—yet again.

“Well, that’s a pity,” I sighed while backing away from him. “You are missing out on this virgin ass right here—oof!” My effort to flirt with him and acting sexy for him instantly failed as the back of my legs hit the bed and I fell backwards.

He only laughed at me as he walked closer. I pulled myself up and sat down at the foot of the bed and watched as he kneeled down in front of me, planting his hands on either side of my body as he spoke, “The more reason for us to wait until the right moment then. I wouldn’t want to take it away from you only to have you forget about me the next morning.”

Damn those beautiful eyes, I thought to myself as I studied his face. Unable to tell whether it was his words or his gorgeous face that was dangerously so close to mine that made my heart flutter and ready to combust, I only fell silent and reached out to cup his face with my trembling palms.

“What a gentleman,” I whispered as I brushed my thumbs over his cheeks. “So glad you found me.”

“So glad that I did.” He smiled at me then, before reaching down to take my heels off one at a time. “Do you want to change? Tell me where I can find more comfortable clothes for you to wear.”

I pointed at my closet with half-opened eyelids. “Just grab me an oversized t-shirt by that drawer.”

He walked away and I could hear him opening my drawers to retrieve my nightshirt as I was starting to doze off to sleep. “Hey, don’t fall asleep yet,” he said with a chuckle. He handed me the shirt and I eyed him suspiciously. “Don’t worry, I won’t look. I’m going to get you a glass of water and come back when you’re done, okay?”

He stood up and walked out of the room without waiting for my answer. I kept my eyes on him until he closed the door behind him, and quickly took my dress off and changed into my shirt. A sigh of relief slipped out of me once I was freed from the tight clothing, as I felt as if my skin could finally breathe. I climbed up on my bed, and lied down, resting my head on my pillows as I waited for him to come back.

Jungkook gave a soft knock on the door and called for me, “Are you done?” which I answered with a sleepy hum. He stepped in with a smile, a glass of water in one hand and a coaster with some pills which I recognised as hangover pills in the other. He placed them on the bedside table, right next to my phone and purse which I had just placed there when he left.

“Are you staying?” I looked up and asked him, while he only smiled at me.

“Do you want me to stay?”

I only shrugged and looked away. “Only if you want to.”

He fell silent for a moment. I had to stop myself from trying to wonder what he had in mind by looking away, refusing to see if he ever decided to walk out the door. But then he pulled the linen blanket to cover my body, and I felt the bed dipped as he climbed next to me and lied down.

“I’m going to stay until you fall asleep. Or at least until I’m sure that it would be alright to leave you here on your own, okay?”

I gave him a smile and lied facing him sideways. “Okay,” I whispered before I closed my eyes. The flutter in my heart became the sweet music that lulled me to sleep.

I woke up the next morning with the most expected hangover. The poundings in my head became the only sound I kept hearing until I reached out to grab the water next to the bed.

I looked around to find myself lying on my bed all alone. The curtains were partly opened, allowing the sun to come through and send warmth into the room. Everything that had happened the night before started to come back to me, reminding me of my raven-haired saviour and his gentle eyes.

The blinking lights from my phone caught my eyes as I returned the empty glass to the table, and I reached for it. A few notifications were shown on the screen—six missed calls from Yura and four messages waiting to be read. I ignored the calls and quickly opened the messages, hoping for a chance to see him again.

[08.33 AM] From Jungkook: Morning, beautiful. You might not be expecting to see this message. I’m sorry for taking your phone when you were asleep. I just had to have your number and put mine in yours. Can’t have you slipping away from me again

[08.34 AM] From Jungkook: in case you have forgotten all about last night…no, we didn’t have sex, and you changed your own clothes. I fell asleep next to you and only left right before I am sending you this

[08.34 AM] From Jungkook: you looked so peaceful when you sleep. I couldn’t just leave you alone

[08.45 AM] From Jungkook: if you ever want to see me again. Please reply and let me know once you are awake. Just in case you need someone to protect you when you need to go out and grab some coffee

I was completely surprised to see the messages at first, but I was extremely relieved when I read them. It was a blessing to have the ability to sober up quickly even after drinking all night, and to be able to remember everything the next morning. I was glad that he reached out, that there was a chance for us to see each other again. It certainly did not take me long enough to decide that I would be seeing him again, to ignore my conscience that was screaming at me to stay away.

Fratboys are all pretty much the same, it warned me. You’ll only get hurt if you get any closer.

For years, I had been listening to logic, to listen to the voices inside my head when they warned me to stay out of trouble no matter what. Sadly, for some reason, that part of me kept losing against my curious heart. Just because of the raven-haired boy that had me questioning and wanting more.

And I easily gave in.

[10.11 AM] To Jungkook: Don’t worry, I remember everything. But thank you for filling me in

[10.12 AM] To Jungkook: Are you still free for coffee?

—First life. _____’s flat, year 2016—

The coffee date we had that morning became the first of many.

And we certainly did not just stop at coffees. We met almost every day. He had taken me out to see some movies and sometimes for dinners on the weekends. We hung out after classes at the basketball court whenever he had games with his brothers from the frat house. There were also times when we would just hang out at his house so I could watch him play video games or listen to him leisurely strumming his guitar. And for the last few weeks, he had been hanging out in my flat, either with his books so he could study next to me, or with popcorns and beer so we could watch Netflix while lounging together on the couch.

“Hey, your boyfriend is here.” Yura popped into my room while I was studying. It was the fourth Friday night after I had first met Jungkook, and even though he had been coming regularly afterwards, I most certainly had not been expecting him to show up.

“My— what?” We shared awkward glances for a second. My head was literally buried between my books and my papers when she came in, so it took me a while to process what she had just told me. “Oh. Oh! No, he’s not my—”

“Yeah, right. Keep telling yourself that,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes as she had always done whenever I denied it. “I already let him in. You kids better make sure not to get too nasty while I’m out, okay?” She threw me a wink before she walked out, and I could hear her saying the same thing to Jungkook as she walked past him on her way out of the flat.

He was standing in the middle of the living room when I left my bedroom, looking awkwardly handsome between the common mess in our flat. He was staring at a movie poster I had put up on the wall with his head tilted sideways.

“What are you doing here?” I said, leaning on my doorway as I kept my eyes on him.

He turned around and grinned at me the moment he saw me. “Is there something wrong with me being here?”

I shrugged and walked closer. “I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me? Aren’t you supposed to be at the house, hosting the party with your brothers?”

He looked down on his watch. “It’s 7.30 pm. I’m always here to sit with you at this exact moment, at this specific time every night to study with you. And judging from that short pyjama pants I know you won’t be there at the party when it starts later, which means I may have nothing interesting to be expecting to see at that party.”

I smiled at him. “I already told you this morning that I’m not going.”

“The more reason to stay then,” he said, flopping down on the couch, right next to his backpack that somehow had already claimed its spot.

I shook my head. “I don’t get you.”

“What don’t you get?”

I walked over to stand between his spread legs. “You. Being here. I thought you’d be more excited about partying than being stuck here and study with me.”

“Studying with you is fun,” he gave me a sly grin. If only he knew how much I had to struggle to keep myself from losing my breath whenever he did that.

“Fun? You hate studying,” I said with a chuckle, which he returned with a laugh. “Jungkook, we are studying in two completely different majors, and for the last three weeks, all you ever really do is watch me work. Well—that, among other things.”

“Is it wrong that I like watching you study?” He straightened his body and leaned forward, grazing my thighs with the tip of his fingers. “Come on, I even bought you fresh coffee and your favourite panini. All fresh and still steaming hot, just how you like them.”

I looked over at the coffee table and found the package he bought for me. He always knew how to win me over. “Fine. You’ll probably get bored to death pretty soon anyway and I refuse to be the one to blame when you do.”

“I promise you I won’t,” he said, showing me his sly grin once again.

I only released a sigh. It was not that I never wanted him to be there with me. I was always happy whenever he would come over and keep me company. But it was that happiness that worried me. “I don’t know if you are just weird or highly persistent.”

“I’d like to think I’m into the second,” he chuckled. “Come on, sit next to me and eat first before it gets cold. You can study while I read something or play games.” He pouted his lips, adding irresistible puppy eyes as he begged, “Please?”

How could I not give in?

“Fine,” I said as I quickly made my way back to my room for my laptop. “Don’t say that I didn’t give you a chance to bail.”

Both of us were still on the couch one hour later, with my laptop long forgotten somewhere close by, my papers and his books were scattered around on the table and the floor, while I was straddling his lap, my body pressing on his chest and our lips colliding in a long, heated kiss.

“How do we always end up here?” I asked him as I pulled away, only to have his strong hands pulling me back to him.

“What do you mean?” he growled as he bit down my lip. “Are you talking about how you are on top of me and grinding on my hips right now?”

“I’m not even moving—” I could barely answer him, losing my breath almost completely from the heat that was surging through my body.

“That’s not what I’m feeling right now, babe—” he stopped to take my lips and devoured them with hunger. “And it’s your fault this time. You started it.”

I pushed his shoulders until he fell back on the couch. “Me? Why am I to blame? It’s your fault you made a mess of yourself. Who told you it’s okay to get that panini sauce on your lips?

“You didn’t have to lick it,” he growled in a deep voice, and I could feel his chest vibrating as he spoke, only to cause every part of my body to do just the same. Without giving him a chance to react, I leaned closer and lick the corner of his lips once more, the same way I did before any of this ever started.

“God, you are so bad.” I could feel his hands gripping harder on my waist, as if he was holding himself from pressing me harder onto him. His lips hovered on mine, sending warm breath over my skin. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?”

I bit my lip before I lowered myself and kissed him back. He let me in, opening his lips so I could slip in my tongue between his teeth, yet I pulled away before he could do the same. We stopped for a moment, letting our foreheads resting on each other, allowing us to share deep glances with one another.

“Why did you deny it?” He whispered.

“Deny what?”

“When Yura named me as your boyfriend. I heard you earlier.”

I bit my lip and avoided his gaze. “I don’t know,” I hesitantly answered. “Maybe I just did it because I’m not sure what we really are.”

“Are you saying that the few dates we’ve been going to and the times we’ve spent together don’t tell you enough?”

I tilted my head playfully as I mocked him, “So those were dates? I thought we were just ’hanging out’.”

His growl rumbled from his chest. The way his lips pouted as he was sulking was too adorable, and I could not stop myself from teasing him by feigning innocence. I also needed him to speak his mind and let me know how he truly felt for me. For us. “Yes, they were dates. And we always end up making out every time we meet. Do you really think I’d do that with just anyone?”

As much as I wanted to tease him, the thought of him kissing another was making my heart ache. “I don’t know. Do you?”

He lifted my chin with his fingers, forcing me to look into his eyes. “I don’t do such a thing, okay? It’s only been you.” He stopped to give a light peck on the tip of my nose. “Why are you doubting me?”

I shrugged and looked away as guilt came over me. It was not that I was really doubting him. It was more that I was doubting myself. And I was also afraid of getting hurt or disappointed if I have ever let myself wanting more.

“I don’t know. I just—I’ve seen the kind of girls that hang out with your crowd, and I’m nothing like them, so—”

My words were cut off abruptly when he suddenly pulled me into his chest and kissed my lips. “Don’t say that. I wouldn’t be here if I don’t want to be with you.” Jungkook fell silent for a moment and waited for me to answer. My heart was beating so fast. Listening to him saying those words and feeling his fingers making circular movements on my waist certainly were not helping me to calm down. “Don’t you want to be with me?”

“That’s not what I am saying.”

I looked deep into his eyes and saw the look that nearly swept my feet away the first night we met, the sincerity and his raw emotion was emitting through his deep gaze. Right at that moment, all the words I had in my mind disappeared. Because I am afraid of you, was the thought that kept coming into my thoughts, yet I could never voice them out. Because I’m afraid to get hurt.

Too bad. It seemed that my mind could no longer process any logic now. Not when my heart knew what it wanted.

“I want you, Jungkook,” was all that I could say to him.

He gave me a small smile, brushing his lips on mine when he whispered, “Then let me in. Let me show you that I mean everything I said. I want to be with you.”

I didn’t say anything then, already knowing that words would only be a waste of time and I certainly was not an expert on expressing my feelings through phrases. So all I did was lowered myself and kissed his lips. He faltered for a moment, surprised by my action. But he was quick to respond, pulling me down on his hips with his strong arms until I could feel his bulge pressing beneath me. My heartbeat kept racing in my chest, making me believe that I would combust anytime if possible. Although the moment our chests were pressed together, it came to my knowledge that I was not the only one feeling this way.

Soon all I could feel was his strong kiss, his tongue that was dominating mine, and the sensation I got from how close we were. I was so lost in the heated kiss, that I didn’t notice how his hand that was holding me on my back started moving downward, reaching down through the waistband of my pyjama shorts and expertly slipped inside, moving past my panties, until I could feel his palm pressing down on my skin and reaching lower—and lower.

He moved my body with his other hand and pushed his hips upward so that I fell further forward and my ass lifted from him. Just enough so that his hand inside my pants could find its way to reach my center. My body reacted even before my mind could process it, widening my legs and jutted my ass back, giving him space so that his fingers could reach my hot folds.

“Ah—” I instantly moaned as I felt his fingers pressing hard on my entrance, making me pull myself away from him while panting for air. My mouth was opened but no words came out. The sound of my constant moans was the only thing came out of me when Jungkook kept circling his fingers to draw my arousal. The sensation was overwhelming, and I was shivering above him when I could feel his fingers slowly entering me.

“What time will Yura come back?” he whispered to me as he was slowly moving the tip of his fingers in and out of me—just as much as he could reach in from that angle.

“She—she won’t be back tonight,” I managed to speak between my short breaths. “She’s at your party, so I don’t think she’ll be back until—ah—tomorrow morning. Or day. Depending who she’s meeting there tonight.”

He bit his bottom lip before nipping on mine. “Do you want to take this to the bed?” he whispered. I opened my eyes to look at him and my knees instantly weakened when I was met with his darkened gaze. His desire was clear, written all over his face and shown by how he shuddered the same way I did at our touches.

We have been making out for weeks. I had even let him touched me and teased me until he made me cum as I did the same to him, so many times before. But we never went too far. I was never sure that I would be ready, not when everything between us remained unclear. I knew that I would not be able to stop myself tonight, and neither would he.

“Yes, take me to my bed, Jungkook.”

With my permission, he pulled his hand out of my pants, causing me to whimper at the sudden loss of his touch. But then, he pulled my legs to wrap them around his waist, and started to push himself up from the couch with me clinging on him. I wrapped my arms around his neck to hold on as he walked towards my bedroom, carrying my body with him. His strong hands that were holding me up on my bottom felt so hot that it nearly burned me.

He lied me down on the bed ever so gently, before he climbed up and hovered on top of me. He looked into my eyes, taking a moment before he spoke, “You should know that once I have you as mine, I will never let you go.”

His words made me shuddered. I could not even tell whether it was pride or fear, but I was overwhelmed with his desire, and with the fact that he was actually feeling the same way as I did. So I just lied there in silence, nodding my head and waited until he made his move.

“Tell me to stop if you’re not ready,” he whispered while nuzzling the tip of his nose onto mine. “I won’t force you. I want you so badly, it’s killing me. But I really don’t want you to hate me.”

I reached up to cup his cheek with one hand, and let my other hand resting on his shoulder. “I’m okay. I’ll be okay. As long as I’m with you.”

His gaze suddenly darkened. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, Jungkook. I’m sure.”

He released a deep grunt right before he lowered himself and kissed me feverishly. My senses were filled with his presence and my mind went blank as we clumsily took off every article of clothing from our bodies. Never stopping until we were left bare against each other on that bed, until our bare skins touched and flushed heat onto each other. He took a sight of me beneath him, naked and bare only for his eyes to see, and I shivered from his dark gaze that I just had to look away. I was excited, nervous and turned on all at the same time, and I was too embarrassed to let him see me in such a state.

“______,” he whispered to me while pulling my face back to look at him with his fingers on my chin. “Don’t be scared. I won’t hurt you.”

I gave him a nod and he took a moment to take a sight of my face, and then my body, before leaning down and started leaving kisses on my neck. My eyes were shut tight as he made his way down, kissing lower, trailing down to my collarbones, leaving heat behind where his lips touched. He lifted his gaze up, watching my face as he started biting around my breasts. My chest rises and fell as I heaved for air, and he held me down just so I wouldn’t move away as he kept kissing down until I could feel his lips grazing around my hips.

“J—Jungkook, don’t—” I snapped open my eyes to look at him, my words failed to come out as I saw his gaze, just when I was about to stop him from getting any lower. He only looked up to give me a soft smile.

“It’s okay,” he assured me with his palms stroking on my bare skin. “I’m only helping you to relax and feel good before we continue. I need to make sure this won’t hurt. You trust me, don’t you? It’s okay if you want to stop.”

I tried to process everything and failed. He waited for my answer while pressing featherlight kisses around my lower abdomen with his eyes still locked on mine. His gaze was dark with lust and soft with affection. Everything that had my heartbeat racing and my mind completely clouded.

I wanted him. So badly.

“No—I want this. I want you.”

He gave me a soft smile once he heard my assuring words. “Take a deep breath, baby,” he said. And that was what I did then. I prepared myself for what was coming, clutching the sheets beneath me as I watched him pushed my legs apart and his face disappeared between my thighs.

I felt his kisses returning to my skin. His warm lips pressing softly around my inner thighs and I sighed as his kisses kept getting closer and closer to the wet heat radiating from my center. He exhaled softly against my bare mound, sending shuddering heat all over my body that I braced harder. I could feel his eyes taking in the sight of my sex and my face that was flushed with heat. I could hear him whispering something to me, but I was lost in a daze, until I could feel him sliding his fingertip over my wet entrance, slowly stroking the smooth flesh up and down.

My mouth was opened as I was gasping for air, overwhelmed with the sensation he was giving me. This was not the first time he had ever touched me there, but this is the first that I knew we would not be stopping at that. And just before I ever had any control over my body, he gently pressed his mouth over my throbbing nub and lightly sucked on it, allowing my body to shake in his tight hold.

“You are the only girl I have ever wanted this badly,” he whispered, slowly easing his fingertip passed my dampened entrance.

“J—Jungkook!”

He continued swirling his tongue over my clit, with his fingers were slowly opening my nether lips apart before I felt one finger easing in and out of me. I could feel myself shaking and my body jolting upward as he pulled his finger out and eased two fingers in, creating sounds of whimpers and gasps of breath to be released from my lips. The sensation took over me bit by bit, exhilarating each time it came to me that I lost control over my own body, only realizing how I was reacting to his actions when I felt his hand pressing my hips down as my body arched up.

“It’s okay, baby. Let go. Don’t hold back.” He pulled his tongue away to whisper to me in a raspy voice, before coming back down and take my clit back between his lips. And so I did. I opened my eyes and let myself go, surrendering to the increasing heat that came flowing through my body. Whimpers and cries escaped me as the sensation built up from underneath, surging through my body and all over me. He kept licking and sucking until I slowly came down from my blissful pleasure.

My body was still shaking and my chest was still rising and falling as he pulled away from me. His face came to view as he climbed up to hover my body. My eyes met his as I opened them, and watched as he put his drenched fingers into his mouth to suck them clean. “You taste so good,” he grunted. No sly grin, no playful smirk, only the look of dark desire in his eyes as he stared into mine. And I nearly cried.

“I want you, Jungkook,” I spoke to him with shaky breaths, releasing my tight hold over the sheets to cup his face. “Please—”

He took my lips to a kiss filled with a deep hunger, taking my breath away right before it even had any chance to recover. His tongue started slipping between my swollen lips to dominate me. He filled all of my senses with his hot kiss and his warm body pressing down onto me. I loved the feeling of his weight pressed against mine. It made me feel safe as we share our warmth and vibrating heartbeat as we were pressed to one another, skin against skin, and I let my hands to land on his back so I could press him closer to me, as if it was even possible.

My heartbeat started racing at full speed as I felt his hand spreading my legs wider. And soon I could feel his erection nudging at my still throbbing center below.

“Look at me,” he spoke to me softly, once again pulling my attention to him. I looked into his eyes that were giving me comfort through his loving gaze. His hand reached between our bodies to align the tip of his length to my dripping core, and he kept his eyes on mine as he pushed through.

I called his name as I cried out, feeling him entering my untouched passage slowly and spreading them apart. Pain and pleasure came surging through my body that I instinctively stiffened the moment he broke through the last resistance. The pain was brief, but I was shivering and it took me a while before I could exhale my breath and relaxed.

“Are you okay, baby?” he whispered to me, kissing my skin and stroking his fingers on my cheeks to calm me down. “Take a deep breath and relax.”

“I’m okay,” I quickly answered him, and started kissing him back as I gave him a reassuring smile. “It’s okay.”

He gave me another kiss, before pulling his hips backwards ever so gently, only to push forward again, slowly inching back inside me. I sighed in our shared kiss when I felt my body adjusting to his length filling me inside, each slow movements he made was beginning to replace every pain into pleasure. A sigh came out as a mewl when I felt the pleasure building into a new sensation, something similar as the one he gave me before, but higher, and much more intense than anything I had ever felt before. Jungkook grunted when I started moving my own hips, wanting to feel more of him inside me by matching the way he moved in and out of me. He leaned down, whispering sweet nothings while nibbling on my earlobe and biting the sensitive skin on my neck, getting faster and deeper in each thrust he made.

“_____,” he groaned, his muscles tightening as he eased in and out of me with greater urgency. I could no longer control the loud moans slipping out of my lips. It just felt too good. Everything felt so incredibly pleasuring that I felt like I was flying, like I was reaching to the highest peak with no return.

The bed creaked underneath us. The headboard gently rocking against the wall as Jungkook increased the speed of his smooth thrusts. He kept moving and repeating his thrusts as he chased for his peak while giving me mine.

Until I was finally there.

I cried out his name as my body started shaking. Shocks of pleasure came vibrating all over my skin with an intensity that I knew would leave me sated and wanting more. The feeling of my body being split into two and burning with sensation was the only two things I could sense, while I could only see white beneath my eyelids. Jungkook kept moving in and out of me with rapid speed, until he suddenly released a deep grunt and growled my name, before he slowly decreased his movements and fell on top of me.

We lied there in each other’s arms, exchanging body heat and sweat, filling the air with the sounds of our breaths through passing moments. As time started to become irrelevant as he lingered in the pleasuring silence between us, he pushed himself up to look into my eyes. “You are amazing,” he whispered to me as he kissed my lips.

“I’m yours now,” was the only thing I said to him once he pulled away. And his eyes turned darker than night.

“I will never let you go,” he firmly told me.

I reached up to pull him down and give him a soft kiss. “Please don’t let me down,” I whispered between our kiss.

“I won’t. I promise.”

—First life. Mercy Hospital, year 2018—

I could hear someone screaming.

It sounded distant, but the voice was loud and clear, screeching through the air.

Was it me? Was it my voice? Why could I not recognise it?

There was a blurry sight of somebody looking down at me before disappearing from my sight. Or was it me who disappeared when my head started aching in pain?

There were blinding lights and faded sound of sirens, followed by rushed voices of people around me, all speaking at once in strained voices.

I could feel myself being lifted off the ground, followed by gentled touches of someone putting things around my body. Pain. There was so much pain. And it was everywhere—they were in my head, my body, my—

What happened? I could not open my eyes. But as I felt my body being tied down onto something and everything around me started shaking, I used everything I had and forced my eyes to open.

The view I was seeing when I did was all blurry and all I could see was white fog. Someone came into my view when I blinked. I could not make out their face even when she spoke, “Hello, ____? We are on our way to the hospital. You are going to be okay. Can you feel where it hurts most?”

The blinding white light caused my eyes to hurt and I had to shut them. “I don’t—know,” I groaned while trying to focus. There was too much pain, and I felt it hurting all over my body, especially—

“My baby,” I gasped and snapped my eyes open, immediately flinching as the pain on my body surged through with the sudden movement and the tension I felt. And it was then when I noticed that I was wearing a neck brace, rendering me immobile as I was being kept lying down. “I have—a baby. I’m—”

The female medic placed her hand over my arm and smiled to me gently. “We know, sweetheart. That’s why we are rushing you to the emergency unit so we can take a look at it and make sure you are both safe. Your boyfriend already told us. He’s following us behind with his own car.”

“Boy—friend?” I suddenly felt dizzy, and the pain in my body started to increase. I could no longer fight it when everything suddenly went dark.

I was in and out of consciousness. But I could feel as if my body was moving in speed, slightly shaking as I was moved yet was still restricted of movements as if I was being tied down onto something. My blurry eyes caught the bright lights above me each time I tried to open them. But I kept losing my energy, and I was kept being pulled into the dark with each throbbing pain before I could process where I was.

I heard voices as I slowly came to. There were people screaming and crying around me. I could not see who it was but I was still able to listen.

Someone was fighting somewhere close. I could even catch a few rushed movements happening around me from the corner of my heavy eyes.

“_____, please….”

“.....get the fuck off of her, you…”

“She needs me….”

“....your fault….”

The faint voices started becoming clearer once every movement stopped. It was hard, but I tried to force myself to stay awake long enough when I heard his voice.

I could hear the fight even more clearly now. But when I forced myself to glance at my side, all I saw was another bed. Or was it perhaps a stretcher?

Where are they? I wondered. But there was nothing I could do to find where they were.

“I’m not leaving her. Please don’t take her away…”

Another sound of beating was heard. “You did this…”

“Sir, please…”

I tried to speak up. Everything was hurting, but I needed him to stop. “Tae—” the voice that came out of me was only a sharp whisper, “—stop, don’t—”

The fighting never stopped.

Did they not hear me? Did my voice come out at all?

I tried calling them again when I sensed a movement happening next to me, but no voice came out. From the corner of my blurry eyes, all I saw was the stretcher next to me being pulled away, and the sound of fighting continued. There was nothing more that I could do as I was being pulled away into the darkness.

It took me almost 36 hours before I finally came to. And it was not Jungkook’s face who I saw the minute I woke up.

Taehyung exhaled a sigh when I opened my eyes, giving me a smile and a soft squeeze on my hand, and never gave me any questions. So I did not ask him anything either. Not that I needed to, since his swollen red eyes which gave away of how much he had been crying, added with the busted lip and the blue marks at the corner of his eyes and cheeks, everything I saw had already said enough.

He soon filled me in on what had happened to me.

A concussion, fractured ribs and spine, sprained ankles, dislocated shoulders, pretty much nothing that I would not be able to recover from in time. Yet I would still be needing intensive treatments for the one wound that may never heal.

Jungkook came the next day.

He was sitting next to the bed when I woke up. He had his head hung low but I could see the faint bruises on his face and the healing busted lip before he even looked up, which only confirmed that they had indeed fought that night. His hands were shaking, clasped together on his lap as he sat there completely unmoving.

“Jungkook—” my voice was completely dry when I called his name, and I coughed.

He startled and looked up, immediately pushing himself up from his seat to help me drink from the glass of water he had prepared on the side of the bed. “Ho—how are you? A—are you feeling better?” he asked me after placing the glass aside, stumbling with his words that showed how nervous he was.

Or perhaps it was guilt?

“Why are you here?”

He frowned as he looked at me. “What do you mean? I’m here for you, baby. I’ve been worried—” he reached out to touch me and I flinched, pulling myself as much as I could to distant myself away from him. He stilled. “Babe—Why?”

I only kept my eyes on him and said nothing. There were a lot of things, so many words I wanted to scream out at him, but I couldn’t. Not when both my pain and my anger were too deep and I knew I would become too emotional once I let it all out to the surface. Although I still wanted him to know how angry I was at him.

“______, talk to me. Please,” he pleaded. His hand was still reaching out but not touching, only held out right next to the bed as he leaned closer. He was close enough that I could see faint traces of dried tears over his bruised skin. “Please, I’m just—I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen, I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

“But I’m hurt,” I managed to speak to him. My voice was shaking, but I held back my tears as much as I could so I would not be a sobbing mess of anger when I forced my words out to him. “I am hurt, Jungkook. You hurt me. And you know that it’s not only my body that is currently in pain.”

He started gasping short breaths, probably even sobbing. “I’m so sorry—”

“It hurts, Jungkook. It’s hurting me everywhere.”

“I—I know. It’s all my fault—”

“Why are you here?” I gritted my teeth. “Why? I don’t want to see you. It’s too painful—”

“Baby, please—” he pleaded to me again, this time with his hands gripping tightly on the side of the bed just so he would not be touching my skin. Even though I knew he wanted nothing more but to reach me, and I to him. “I beg you. I just want to make it up to you. I—I can’t stop thinking about what I did wrong.”

“Did you think about it when you were with her?” He fell silent when he heard the words coming out of my lips. “Did you ever think how wrong it was before this? Before I saw you?”

“_______—”

“Who is she?”

He froze and only looked at me with a frown on his face, until he figured out what I was asking him about. “I—She was just a nobody.”

I scoffed. “A nobody? You let a nobody feeling your chest and thighs with her hand? You dare let a nobody kissing and biting on your skin? A nobody who made you smile when she did all of that and you let her when it was supposed to be me!” I felt myself breaking apart when the scene I saw from that night returned to me full force. I was broken. He broke me.

“You’ve been hiding away and having fun with this nobody while I sulked in my bedroom all alone with my morning sickness and the dreadful fact that I have a life growing inside of me without me knowing what to do about it? Were you busy letting this nobody feel you up when I needed you the most? When I was all scared and all alone after you left me?”

He blinked his wide eyes rapidly and I saw tears of guilt threatening to fall from his eyes. “She—I met her a few days before. It was only the second time we’ve met and—” he looked up to me, and gave me this look that felt like a slap to my face.

“There were others before her, weren’t there?” I gasped. The pain inside my heart only kept increasing and turning all my anger into hate. “How? How could you—”

“No! No, it’s not like that. I didn’t do anything. I—” he started sobbing and had to take a deep breath to calm his own emotions. “I just—I needed a distraction. I swear I’ve never cheated on you before, and I just fooled around with—I went to those parties to—”

“Distraction?” I cut him off. My anger was building up and I have had enough. I have heard enough. “From what? From me? Or the fact that we were having a baby? That’s how you dealt with it? By partying and fooling around with other girls? I can’t believe you—”

He pushed his chair away and kneeled on the floor. “I know that I’m a complete idiot. I don’t deserve you, but I love you. I never lied to you about my feelings. I was lost and confused, I know it was wrong. But please, let me make it up to you. Please give me another chance.”

I only shook my head and looked away, staring straight at the ceiling when I could no longer look into his eyes. “No,” I answered him, my voice came out as a whisper. I took a deep breath before I continued speaking to him, “I will forgive you Jungkook. Perhaps one day, I will. But it will take time for me to do so. But I can’t—I can’t be with you.”

“______, please—” he choked. He must have been crying, but I never dared to turn my head to look. I didn’t want to see him crying, I didn’t want to falter from what I had in mind.

“I’m letting you go, Jungkook. You are free now,” I started sobbing. I could no longer hold my tears from flowing out. It was too painful for me to keep inside. The pain in my heart was way more painful than the pain I had in my body. “You no longer have any responsibilities over me anyway, Jungkook. So you are free to go and do whatever you want, with whoever you please.”

“What—I don’t understand. I love you—”

“The baby is gone,” I cried. My tears were flowing like a stream and I let them show. I let him see my pain just to let him know how much he had broken me. “I lost—no, we lost the baby. You have no more reason to stay with me.”

He was crying. “But I want to stay with you. I can’t live without you.”

“Yes, you can,” I started sobbing. “You have been doing it well enough even when I spent every day waiting for you. Hoping that you would be there by my side. But you had chosen to leave. You had chosen to be with someone else but me. If I was so much of a burden for you that you need to be distracted so you wouldn’t be thinking of me then maybe you shouldn’t be doing it at all. Just leave, Jungkook. I don’t want to be with you anymore.”

“No—No, _______, please—”

“Leave!” I screamed out, closing my eyes shut and wishing that I could shut my ears so I would not be able to hear his voice as he begged and cried for my forgiveness.

The room went quiet soon after. The sound of my cries was the only thing that filled the empty room.

Jungkook disappeared for the next two days. Making me believe that I had lost him for good. But then he came back on the third.

“What are you doing here?”

I glared at him when he appeared in the doorway with the nurse. I was starting to be able to move on the bed as my body was starting to heal. My recovery was up to speed, helped by my strong will to get better as soon as I could.

“You are starting your physical therapy today. I just—I wanted to be here to help and be with you while you are at it,” he answered me. He seemed nervous and hesitant, but I knew he would not give up so easily even if I had told him to go away. But I did anyway.

“I don’t need your help.” I shook my head and looked up at the nurse who was trying to be busy so she could pretend to ignore our conversation. “The nurse is here to help me. We don’t need you.”

“Please, let me help you,” he begged me.

“How did you even know I’m having therapy?”

He looked up at the nurse and then to me, and I knew the answer. The kind nurse only smiled at me apologetically. She was the one who came in after I told Jungkook to go away the other day, and the one who had always been taking care of my daily needs. “I’m sorry,” she said. “He’s really persistent. He’s actually been here for the last two days too, watching you from outside the room and keeping up with your progress. He seems so worried about you, so I told him to come for your therapy if he really wants to help you.”

Should I be angry with her? Should I blame her? She had nothing to do with what was going on, and I didn’t want anyone to witness our fight. So I gave in. It was not like I had enough energy to be angry at anyone anyway.

“Fine. You can stay. For now.”

The first physical therapy was a simple one. I was certainly not going to instantly start practicing to walk on my own two legs yet. I was only beginning to recover, so all I had to do was move my body just enough while staying in bed, only to make sure that my limbs would still be flexible even after lying down on the bed for so long. The nurse helped me move my ankles and raised my legs until the point where it got too painful, and then moved my body side to side to practice my barely recovering spine. The therapy ended as she helped raise my hand carefully to practice my shoulders, bending them until I felt pain. Jungkook was there to assist her all the time, continuously stroking my hair each time I hissed from the pain. He even whispered to me encouraging words every time I started crying and wanted to give up.

“You don’t have to be here,” I told him when he came back the next day.

“I know. But I want to,” he answered then, and again every time he came back for my therapies the few next days after.

And he kept coming back.

No matter how many times I pushed him away, no matter how many times I tried to ignore his presence, he just would never give up. He was always there, patiently helping, silently supporting me, and not allowing me to forget.

“Why do you keep coming back, Jungkook? I’ve told you so many times before that I don’t want to see you,” I told him when he helped me walk from the bed to the bathroom, helping me to practice my legs. It was too painful to see him every day, being reminded of what happened and what we have lost.

“I’m just trying to make things right. I did this to us. I want to fix it, so please let me.”

“Why do you keep forgiving him?” Taehyung asked me when I was almost fully recovered and was ready to come home to continue my treatments at home. We were waiting for Jungkook to pick us up from the hospital when we sat together and had our talk.

“I don’t know.” I looked away from him. I couldn’t really say that I had actually forgiven Jungkook after everything that had happened and what he had put me through, but the anger was nearly gone. And I was too tired of blaming myself and him for the loss. Too tired of feeling so angry and hateful.

All I wanted to do was to move on.

“Are you taking him back?” He asked me again, forcing me to look into his eyes so he could read my thoughts. I only shook my head.

“I don’t know, Taehyung. I just want this pain to go away.”

—Present life. _____’s dormitory, year 2016—

“Alright, I’ll be there in one.”

I was reading my book and lying on my own bed when my roommate, Jisoo, came in while talking on the phone. She had a frown on her face and occasional sighs came out from her lips as she listened to whoever was speaking to her from across the line. “Alright, alright—I’m coming. I’m still at the dorms, and I’ll pick you up the minute you get here, okay?”

“Who was that?” I asked her once she had cut off the call and threw the phone onto her bed with a groan.

“My cousin. He’s coming back after seeing his family for the weekend, and he was fussing about almost missing the train and blaming me for it. But then again, I did ask him to drop by to grab some things at my grandmother’s house for me. Didn’t really think he would do that for me, actually,” she grinned as she told me. “So in return for his troubles, I have to pick him up at the station in an hour.”

“He sounds nice,” I chuckled.

“Oh, he is,” she only laughed with me. “Well, he is a really great guy, actually. He’s been like a brother to me so I guess it makes it easier for him to fuss and complain about them to me when he can’t do it with anyone else.”

“Are you really that close? Aww—that’s so cute—” I cooed to taunt her, earning a flying pillow to land on my face as her response.

“Don’t you dare think of anything. He is a brother to me. And I’m dating someone already. He means to me just the same as Taehyung to you.”

“Hey, I’m just kidding,” I chuckled, throwing her pillow back. “Where is he coming back from?”

She was coughing from having the pillow landed on her nose when she answered. “Busan. He was supposed to come back in another two days since he has no classes until then. But then he suddenly called, telling me that he is meeting someone for a date—or something—tomorrow, and he started to make a fuss about coming back early.”

I raised my eyebrow. Interesting. “Really? What’s his name? Your cousin.”

“Jimin. He majors in Music,” she said while stretching her body on the bed. While at the same time, I froze on my seat.

“Jimin? As in, Park Jimin?”

She looked up at me with wide eyes. “How do you know him?”

“Is the place he is going for this—um, ’date’ called Coffee Town, by any chance?” I cupped my own cheeks to cover the possible blush of heat that was creeping on my face when a huge grin appeared on hers.

She jumped off from her bed and squealed. “No freaking way!” I raised my hands to stop her as she ran to me and held my arms to shake me. “No freaking way! You’re the one he is seeing?”

“Ow—yeah, it seems like it.” I cringed at how tight she was holding me, and she immediately let me go once she noticed.

“I can’t believe you’re dating my cousin!”

“Okay, it’s nothing official, alright? We only arranged to meet up and grab some coffee together.” I shrugged, while she only grinned and said, “Sure it is,” sounding awfully sarcastic, with a scrunched nose on her face.

We fell into a giggling fit at the dawning realization for a minute before lying down on my bed, the two of us sharing the small space side by side, staring at the ceiling in awe. She lifted her body to lie on her side and look at me. “I’m actually glad that it’s you who he is meeting up with. From the way he talks about his upcoming date and the person he is seeing, he seems to be so fond of you. And it’s good to see him that way.”

“Really? Why?”

She sighed. “He seems so lost for so long. It’s amazing that he can look so interested in getting to know someone or doing something with another person.” She fell silent for a moment, looking as if she was contemplating about whatever she was about to say. But then she continued anyway, “He’s been through a lot since he was so young. So I guess that’s why he shuts himself from everyone. He has problems in getting close to anyone for so many years. He even refuses to date girls and chooses to focus on dancing and studying music more than anything.”

Her words got me curious. “What happened?”

She looked at me for a moment with her lips nibbled between her teeth. “Can you not let him know that I am telling you this? It’s pretty personal and he kind of asked me not to tell anyone other than our close relatives or friends. But you are seeing him, so I think you deserve to know.” I nodded to let her continue.

“He went through the same thing you did. He got cancer when he was much younger.”

“He did not have cancer when he was younger.”

I paced around on the sidewalk, with my phone clutched in my hand and pressed so tight onto my ear, gritting my teeth nervously as I spoke to Taehyung who was listening on the other line. I had excused myself to run out of the dorm, not only the room but the whole building, after the talk I had with Jisoo. Everything else she said after she mentioned about Jimin’s past became a blur and I rushed out once she left the bed to get ready to leave.

“What are you talking about? You said you don’t remember much about him?”

“I don’t. But I remember most of the things he told me, and I’m pretty sure that he told me he only started battling cancer just before he met me,” I whined while I continued pacing back and forth in front of the dorm’s main entrance. My free arm was wrapped around my torso to calm my heartbeat.

Yes, I may not remember much of Jimin from my past life, only vaguely remembered his crescent-like eye smile and his voice, and the way he made me feel whenever I was so close to him. But I remembered most of our chats. “You don’t understand, the one thing we had in common was that our illness was caused by the same reason. He told me that he was a healthy child, the cancer didn’t come until—It wasn’t supposed to happen until later.”

“______, breathe. Okay, I’m going to check on our notes later, but are you really sure? What are you worrying about, exactly?”

Right. What am I worrying about?

“What if it’s the wrong Jimin? What if he’s just a different person? What if—”

“What if he is completely the same person that you’ve met before?”

I stopped. “What?”

“Okay, I don’t really know what I’m saying, and it might sound crazy. But, we never figured out why you are here. So, what if this Jimin also came from the same place you came from? And he started his journey the same way you did?”

My body started shaking. This can not be real. “Taehyung, I’m scared.”

“I know you are. I can only imagine.” I could hear him sigh on the other line. “Either he is the same Jimin you are looking for or if he is not, he might only be the one holding the answer. Or not. Just meet him tomorrow and find out.”

“What should I say to him?”

“Just talk to him, get to know him. You don’t have to rush things, especially when we’re still not sure,” he said calmly. “Just carry on with the date, and find out a bit more about his past from himself. Even if he’s not—”

“Even if he’s not who we’re looking for, it will still be okay,” I finished his sentence and took a deep breath, reassuring myself and Taehyung while calming myself down. As I thought about it again, I almost instantly forgot why I was freaking out for.

“That’s right. Everything is going to be okay. I’ll always be here for you.”

I nodded, even if he couldn’t see me. “I know.”

—First life. St. Vincent’s Hospital, year 2026—

I came back after nearly a month for my ongoing treatment.

Hoseok was by my side as I was strolled into my bedroom on a wheelchair. We went straight to have various health checks and blood tests the minute I got back into the hospital, just to keep up with the progress I had made while I was away. And Hoseok stayed with me the whole time.

“Everything is going to be okay, it seems,” he said while helping me set myself up on the bed. He had insisted to be the one helping me and took over the nurse’s duty since he was going to be out of town the day ended. No one would be allowed to stay with me while I was undergoing treatments anyway.

Well, actually it was me who had purposely requested for everyone not to stay with me. I would hate it if I became a burden to anyone. Besides, I already had a companion who had helped me feel less lonely.

Jimin. Mochi.

He was constantly in my mind while I was away from the hospital. Sometimes, he would appear in my dreams when I rest at night, or when I had my occasional fevers. The thought of him calmed me. And there were times when I regretted that we had never exchanged contacts before I left so we couldn’t arrange to meet or talk outside the hospital.

But then again, I was also still an emotional wreck. And every time I wondered about Jimin, wondered why I still wouldn’t let myself open up to him, I had to remind myself that I still had unfinished business with the man who still held my entire life in his hands.

“The test results looked promising, so I’m sure you’ll be better and free in no time,” Hoseok’s voice called me back from my daze, looking up to finally notice the nurse in the middle of setting up my IV bags and their tubes. I fell silent as I let her work, thanking her for her help as she left the room and let us be.

“Hoseok—” I called him while he was busy pouring water for me to drink. “Have either you or Yoongi heard anything from Jungkook?”

He stopped and stood still. He took a glance at me before placing the glass and the jug away and settle down on the chair next to the bed. “He came to Yoongi’s place to look for you the day after you were first admitted to the hospital. Yoongi didn’t tell him that you were once there and where you were at that time, so he just left. But he somehow found out about a week after that Yoongi was covering for you so he came back, full of rage and started coming back while you were here in this hospital, thinking that you would show up at his place again.” He exhaled a sigh and crossed his arms over his chest. “He threatened Yoongi, yes. But they didn’t fight. And one day, he came by while I was there and we met. So now he knows that I’m the one hiding you away from him.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “Does he know—”

He shook his head. “You told us to keep it a secret.”

“Thank you.”

“What are you going to do about him? He won’t stop looking for you and he begged me to give him your new phone number. But I can’t let him go anywhere near you, or let you know that he has been coming to us cause I want you to focus on your treatments.”

“I know,” I answered him. I reached out to pull his crossed arms apart so I could hold his hand. “I’m sorry for getting you guys involved in my personal problems. I probably should do something about our marriage, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for it.”

Hoseok took my hands and stroke his fingers on them. “Take your time. Focus on yourself before deciding on anything.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I should get stronger first.”

I had to be. Because I knew how weak I would always get whenever I saw him. How easy I would be to give in to him if we had met again.

I took my treatments in my own room that day, with Hoseok staying with me all day until night came. Dr. Kim came to visit me each time I had to take any medications or to get my IV tubes changed.

The actual induced chemotherapy only started the next day.

I refused the wheelchair the nurse had offered me with and insisted to walk down the hallway towards the ward. I didn’t necessarily have to be there during the process, but I hated being alone. And I wanted so badly to see him again. All for the reasons I couldn’t even explain myself.

Everyone greeted me excitedly the moment I stepped into the room.

“Oh, there’s our favourite pretty face. Don’t worry, dear. We have your favourite spot saved only for you,” said Mrs. Lee, the lady who had always claimed the seat nearest to the entrance.

I leaned down to kiss her cheeks and whispered, “You look lovely, as always.” She only waved her hand at me before introducing me to a few newcomers that had started treatments while I was away. A young man was now sitting on Mr. Ahn’s old recliner, and he greeted me with a cold nod before closing his eyes shut.

The thoughts of people coming and going, of those who were replaced and left no mark once they had left the earth was unnerving. I shook my head to rid the thoughts away and started making my way to the recliner where I had always resided in. But my heart almost stopped when I found not one, but there were two recliners in front of the large window that were left unoccupied.

He wasn’t there.

Every horrible thought started to come through my mind and I had to take a few deep breaths before I could speak, “Where is—”

“Looking for me?” His voice coming from behind startled me, and I instantly turned around.

“Jimin.” I sighed in relief, while he only chuckled at the sight of my flustered face.

“Hello again, love. Are you worried that I’m gone?” He smiled. “I’m not going anywhere. Not just yet, especially now that you are back.”

If only he knew how much I wanted to just jump up and hug him tight. But I could not let myself. So all we did was sit next to each other like we did before, exchanging stories to one another, one part of our sophisticated lives at a time, while keeping our eyes locked on each other.

I loved the feeling I had when I was with him. It was calming, comfortable, and warm. He couldn’t stop himself from taking my hand in his a few times while we talked, and I had let him. The feelings he ignited in me was indescribable, but I told myself it was not love. Because I wasn’t capable of having them just yet, not with the heart that was still shattered in tiny pieces.

“Do you stay here, in this hospital, all the time—for your treatments?” I asked him, finally having the courage of finding answers to cure my curiosity.

“Oh, no. I don’t,” he said as he shook his head. “I mean, I used to. They found these bad boys inside me a little too late and I was such a wreck at the time, they had me stay here for six whole months. I had to go through therapy, radiations, surgeries, until they told me that it was okay to come back here for monthly treatments.”

I reached over and took his hand, squeezing them absentmindedly in mine. No wonder he knew so much about what I was about to go through. “Where do you go when you’re not here?”

“My cousin’s place. She actually went to the same university as you did,” he chuckled. “She let me use her old apartment since she’s no longer using it after she got married.”

I watched his face for a brief while, contemplating on whether I should act out on the idea that suddenly came into my mind. But then I gathered every courage I had to ask, “Will it be okay if we exchange numbers?”

His face lighted up in an instant. “Well, now. I thought you’d never ask.” He gave me a sly grin which I returned with a scoff. “I have to be honest that I would’ve asked you first if you would tell me more about your current situation,” he said to me with a nod that was pointed towards the ring mark on my finger.

“A friendly meeting out of the hospital won’t hurt much, right?” I asked him. Because that was all that I needed; someone to talk to, a chance for me to open myself completely in the real world, in my not-so-normal life.

“Oh, if only you know about all the things I would do just to be able to see you more often, love.”

I felt awfully weak for the third day of my treatment. But the fever could not stop me from going through with it.

I fell asleep while resting in the treatment ward. I could not exactly remember what Jimin and I were chatting about before I fell asleep, but we were playing a game of monopoly with the other patients before everyone started retreating one by one to rest on their recliners or return to their bedrooms.

I had a long dream as I had my nap.

It was the same dream that had been haunting me for years, the same dream that would always leave a painful sting in my heart even hours after I woke up. I always woke up the same way; chest heaving and gasping for air, my hands clenched tight on the sheets covering my body, sweats coating all over my skin, and a burnt feeling in my chest from the speed of my heartbeat. I usually woke up alone, which made it so hard to recover from it.

This time, I woke up to see a pair of eyes staring at me with concern, one foreign hand resting on my knee and the other holding my trembling hand. “Are you alright? What’s wrong? Are you in pain?” He asked me curiously and extremely cautious, not wanting to come close even though he looked like he wanted to leave his recliner to hold me tight in his arms.

It took a while for me to process everything, but the warmth of his palm on my skin brought me back faster than I usually did. And I was able to take control of my breath and my heartbeat after a few moments.

“Do you need me to call a nurse?” He asked again, sounding less urgent than he seemed before when he felt my body slowly relaxing, but still filled with worry.

“I’m okay, Jimin. It’s only a dream,” I answered him, letting him continue stroking his thumb on my knee but squeezed my hand gently over his to return his hold and let him know I was alright.

“A nightmare?” He asked, relaxing beside me. He pulled his hand that was on my knee away, but kept holding my hand with the other. “What is it about? Do you want to tell me?”

I let out a sigh. I closed my eyes to savour the feeling of his thumb circling on my skin, the gentle touch of his finger when he tucked a loose hair behind my earlobe, and the warmth of his hold on my smaller hand while I replayed the dream in my head.

“I was falling. Everything was dark, and I fell. It seemed as if the ground beneath me was so far away, and I could never reach the end of it. The only thing I saw was the one lighting his face, and it became the only thing I saw until I felt myself being pulled away from him in the dark.”

“His?” he asked. I saw him staring at me with a quirked brow as I opened my eyes and turned to look at him again. He fell silent for a second until it dawned him. “It was your husband.”

I leaned my head back on my recliner while facing his side so I could keep my eyes on him. I nodded. “The face in my dreams was too blurry so I couldn’t make sense of it or recognise him vividly. But he was the one who was standing at the top of the stairs to see me fall many years ago.”

Jimin‘s eyes widened the moment he heard my words. “It’s a memory?” he gasped. “What—what happened?” I could feel his grip on my hand started tightening as he questioned me. He must have known that the memory was painful enough for me to have me waking up all shaken and breathless when it appeared in my dream.

And I told him everything.

I told him about the pregnancy, about our fight, about the accident, about everything that happened in between and after. I kept my eyes on him as I shared him everything. And I watched how his eyes turned from showing me anger, to shock, and to sadness. And he never let go of my hand as he listened to everything.

He pulled my hand closer to his and kissed my knuckles ever so gently. His voice was trembling with emotions when he finally spoke, “I’m so sorry you have to go through such pain when you were still so young.”

“It’s okay. I’ve grown from it. I got through it and even if it was the one that had led me through my whole life after, I somehow have no regrets. I do feel it sometimes, however, regretting that it happened. Regretting the loss and the pain. But the biggest regret was the choices I made after. I should’ve learned better from it.”

He looked deep into my eyes after I spoke without letting go of my hand. He kept my hand so close to his lips and I let him brushed his lips on my skin. His touches and his kisses made my heart flutter and filled with warmth. And I could feel the pain inside my heart, the pain I had from the memory slowly dissolving. And I started to feel as if I would somehow be able to let everything go.

I never wanted him to let go of my hand or to pull away since I didn’t want the feeling to stop.

He kept his eyes on me, and his eyes suddenly darkened. “When did this accident happen?”

I pursed my lips while trying to remember. I told him the time and the year of when I remembered it happening and he started to frown.

“That’s funny,” he mused.

“What is so funny about it?” I chuckled bitterly, before I mirrored his frown.

“The time when it happened,” he said, while brushing his lips on my skin with his eyes still locked on mine. “It happened almost at the same time. At least, I suppose it was. I should probably confirm it with my family or my cousin because I don’t exactly remember when.”

“The same time? With what? What happened?”

He flattened his lips into a thin line, still not letting go of my hand or lowered it away from him as he took the time to think it over. I waited until he answered me, not forcing him to speak until his gaze turned from hesitant to broken.

“I think it’s time for me to tell you the story of how Park Jimin died the first time.”

a/n: updated- re-edited by author 14.11.2018

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Disclaimer: All works are written by myself. Any copyright infringement, reposting on any other social media or website, and any act of plagiarism will be dealt with legal action

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