I saw the blood in the sink
and mistaking it for a petal from a rose
in a haze I reached out to touch it
and it was still wet
see-
Ive been here before
petals of blood soft to the touch
so long ago
a long time ago and yet
it is as if I never left
so long ago
the first time I bled
but still
Still the blood is wet
his reaction to the Feb2020 pictures doesn't necessarily mean that he actively wanted to go public and asked her to do that imo. he probably wasn't as "radical" as z, but it's not like he wasn't grown enough to make his own decisions. basically, she had the idea first, convinced him it was the best way to navigate their earlier professional - personal life, and that's what they decided. z isn't the one forcing him holding him hostage or something
annnnd at the same time, it doesn't mean he wasn't hurt, which is valid from his pov. because all the things they never dared to do in public because of their agreement (which was extremely frustrating knowing now how touchy feely their are in reality), he was seeing that all over his social media feed. it's not always easy to know your ex has moved on, but actually seeing it in 4K... and maybe he had the feeling that the hiding made sense for them but maybe it didn't meant sense for Z and jacob because their relationship was THAT deep (it wasn't) they thought the pros of being public counterbalanced the cons. and maybe in that sense he felt like their relationship wasn't as important as he thought it was.
the two theories aren't mutually exclusive to me, he didn't want to go public but it still hurt to see her doing it with someone else
(Thanks anon, I think you’ve put your points more succinctly than I did mine haha. The end was where I was trying to get to - I feel like they where both hurt by the respective pictures dropping and re: Tom, I don’t think he was angry because he wanted to go public but more so the hurt of seeing that with someone else, particularly as we know he literally wears his heart on his sleeve. And yes, these two are such cling-ons with each other, I have no idea how they denied themselves all the Tetris style handholding for literal years…)
so good i’ve been feeling super inspired! my laptop broke somehow, so i’ve been taking a forced break which is good. i was tryna make music n stuff but yeh…maybe it’s good to have a break. i’ve never had one before. in my head i’ve been non-stop since feb2020 but i finished high school end of 2019 so this really does feel like the first proper step back. my SIM card wasn’t working properly for the first 2 weeks so i also had a break from socials n stuff. it’s been so great. been having so many revelations and ideas about this new project and all i wanna do is go home and get working.
it is groundhog day
so how fitting to return to a day frozen in time
to return to a room years past I had known
and as years passed
I have been so far from home
yet I return
and the world turns again
not quite as it left off
but close enough
though, now, I have grown