I have not once, ever, experienced the sensation of having agency. the structure has just not been there in me, in my life, in my emotions, in my relationships with other people. there has been no distance between me and the rest of the world. things have always simply felt like they’re happening To Me. that’s not to say I’ve never felt good, but it’s always been with the sense that the universe is allowing it.
UNTIIIIIILLL NOOOOWWWWWW THAT’S RIGHT BABY NEUROPLASTICITY!!!!!! IT’S HAPPENING!!!!!!!!!!!!!