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ezzydean · 10 months

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birthday blitz

just a fun little 2k jolt of excitement and fun for my dear @notsuchasecret for their birthday

going back to the original Samezuka Trio content here. if you want OG Samezuka Trio, shenanigans, tomfoolery, tentative relationship/friendship anarchy, adult language and not so adult actions, and Seijuurou questioning his life choices then this is the thing for you. if not? that’s cool. dldr and all that jazz :D

happiest of birthdays my dear gremlin

(click here to read on my tumblr and not on the dash)

Ai rolls over and yanks the blankets away from Rin for the third time in as many minutes and Rin reminds himself that he loves Ai and that wrapping him in the damn blankets like a mummy and throwing him out the window is something he really, really probably shouldn’t do. He rolls over and buries his face in Seijuurou’s shoulder and listens as he starts taking deep breaths.

Maybe the throwing Ai out the window thing wouldn’t be so bad? Maybe Seijuurou would go along with it this time?

“Imagine if you could peel your nipples off like a sticker. And replace them with, I dunno. googly eyes.”

“Can you, for one night, not talk like a shitpost from 2012 at one in the morning?”

Ai scoffs. “Can you, for one night, not be a funsucking vampire looking for a snack when I ask you a question?” Ai mocks him.

Seijuurou lets out a sigh so deep it’s almost a growl. “Can you both, for one night, just shut up and let me sleep?”

Rin rolls over and looks at Ai, eyebrows raised and a smile on his face. Ai grins back at him, sharp and sweet like only he can really manage.

“Nope,” they shout in unison as they scramble over and around each other in an attempt to wrap Seijuurou in their blankets and roll him off the bed. Seijuurou lets them for a few seconds before he starts fighting back. Seijuurou grumbles and growls but Rin catches a smile on his face as he throws the blanket off himself and tries to wrap it around Ai.

—

“I. Uh. I have questions.”

Seijuurou barely even looks up from where he’s crouched down tying his shoes. He doesn’t need to look. He already knows the disaster on display in the other room. He’s been blatantly ignoring the disaster for the last three and a half hours. Which is why he called backup. He’s still not entirely sure he chose the correct backup. But he was kind of desperate, okay?

“Don’t,” he says as he finishes tying his shoes. “Just. Don’t.”

“Don’t have questions?” Sugawara asks. “Or don’t ask the questions.”

“Either. Both. Just.” Seijuurou waves his hand towards the other room. “It’s safer for everyone if you just ignore it and get the hell out while you can.”

Sugawara nods. “I roomed with Tanaka and Bokuto one summer. I understand.” Seijuurou grabs his keys and wallet from the jacket he had left them in and shoves them into his pants pocket.

“Okay,” he says, gesturing to the door. “Let’s get out of here.”

Sugawara’s head is tilted to the side like a curious puppy and he’s blinking rapidly and making a quiet, almost distressed noise as he stares into the other room.

“Uh, Mikoshiba?”

“Shit,” he sighs.

“The broccoli is on fire.”

“You mean the oranges, right?”

“No. No, it's definitely broccoli.”

“I’m done. I’m too old for this shit. Let’s go.”

He snags Sugawara’s elbow and pulls him out of the house, determinedly not looking at what he’s leaving behind.

Disaster One and Disaster Two don’t even seem to realize he’s left. He’s not sure if he should be offended or relieved. He loves them. He really does. But some days he wonders just what the hell he was thinking when he agreed to move in with them all those years ago.

Sugawara keeps quiet for the entire walk from the house to the shopping district. Which is nice. It’s one of the reasons he enjoys Sugawara’s company. They can spend most of a day together hanging out and actually spend very little of it talking. It’s especially refreshing on a day like today where he’s spent the last week cooped up with Rin and Ai both because their schedules all managed to align with the same stretch of free time. Which unfortunately aligned with the rainiest, windiest week they’ve seen in months.

“I have one question,” Sugawara says eventually. He’s staring off into the distance when Seijuurou glances up from the display of keychains he’s been poking through. Sugawara’s got the kind of look on his face that makes Seijuurou both curious and mildly uncomfortable because he’s never sure if the look is going to lead to a hilarious story from Sugawara about something one of his many crow friends did once upon a time or if it’s gonna lead to the two of them missing ninety percent of their clothing running away from a swarm of bees.

Again.

“Okay,” he says warily.

“Why was the fact that it was broccoli and not oranges the bigger issue and not the fact that they were on fire in the first place?”

Seijuurou groans softly. “That’s a long story.”

Sugawara shrugs. “I mean. I’ve got all day. Tell me a story and I’ll buy you lunch?”

He doesn’t necessarily want to tell the story. But he’s also not about to pass up free lunch.

“Okay. So.”

—

“Rei. Rei Rei Rei!” Rei looks up just in time to catch Ai as he trips over his own feet and tumbles into Rei’s lap. Ai immediately latches his arms around Rei’s neck and grins at him. “I have to tell you something!”

Ai’s whisper is more of a shout but no one else really pays them much attention. Which has more to do with most everyone else in the room being just as wasted as Ai is than it does them being granted a smidgen of privacy.

“What do you have to tell me?” Rei does his best to keep his voice at a reasonable level. But he’s not totally sober either so he’s only moderately sure of his success.

Ai starts giggling and Rei can’t help but laugh along with him after a moment.

“I just. You have to promise. Okay? You have to promise.”

“Okay. I can do that.” Rei manages to control his laughter. “What am I promising?”

“Not to be upset that I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“Oh. Okay.” Rei nods. “I’m not upset you didn’t tell me sooner.”

Ai snorts and Rei tries really, really hard not to start laughing again.

“I haven’t even told you yet.”

“Oh. You’re right. What do you have to tell me?”

Ai looks around the room with wide eyes. He looks around too but doesn’t see anything out of the ordinary. Rin and Seijuurou are sitting on the couch across from the chair Rei is currently sharing with Ai. Haru, Nagisa, and a couple of Seijuurou’s friends that Rei can’t quite remember the names of are in the kitchen. Momo disappeared down the hallway with Sugawara and Makoto a few minutes ago and Rei has half a second to wonder what, exactly, they’re up to before Ai tightens his arms and catches Rei’s attention.

“I have to tell you.” Ai takes a deep breath and holds Rei’s gaze. “I’m gay.”

Rei blinks a few times as this rolls around in his head.

“Oh. Okay.”

Ai’s jaw drops with a gasp. “That’s it? Just ‘oh okay’? That’s all?”

“I mean. Your first kiss was with Uozumi followed immediately with a second kiss with Minami. Your first date was with Nagisa. Your first wet dream was about Rin and Haru. Every person you’ve ever crushed on or gone out with has been a male. So I kind of am not super surprised?”

Rin lets out a startled noise that has Seijuurou shushing him with a laugh. Rin bats at Seijuurou’s shoulder and leans so far forward he almost falls off the couch.

“Haru was part of that dream?” Rin hisses. “You never told me that he was involved!”

Ai blinks his big blue eyes at Rei and Rei quickly shakes his head. He did not know that Rin didn’t know all the details and he may have accidentally just spilled the news but he wants no other part in this. He’s clearly done enough.

“I trusted you,” Ai whimpers. “I just told you I was gay and you, you, you spill my secrets like this?”

He can hear Rin grumbling in the background as Seijuurou makes comforting noises that Rin grumbles even louder at and he can see the starry watery sheen of Ai’s fathomless eyes and he feels a little bit like he’s about to be pulled underwater by something dangerous and very toothy and just out of sight and he swallows so hard that he’s sure the people in the kitchen can surely hear it. He has a fleeting thought about sharks and blood and something else that’s on the tip of his tongue.

Cool hands land on his shoulders and he jolts, Ai nearly falling off his lap. He tilts his head back even though he already knows who is standing there.

Haru quirks a smile down at him and the fleeting thoughts about sharks and blood are much less fleeting. For all that he’s often characterized as a fish or a dolphin among their friends Haru is more of a fucking shark in the water than any of the Samezuka team have ever been.

“Aiichirou,” Haru says in a quiet, firm voice that has even Rin falling silent, no doubt holding his breath to hear whatever Haru is about to say. “You told the wet dream story to Nagisa. While he had you on speaker when he was in my room with me and Kou. You went into terrifyingly explicit details. I very highly doubt Rei is the one spilling your secrets.”

Ai pouts up at Haru for a few seconds and, once he realizes that Haru isn’t going to crack, he sticks his tongue out and wriggles himself out of Rei’s lap so he can flop on the couch with Rin and Seijuurou.

“Thank you, Haruka,” Rei whispers. Haru smiles sweetly at him and kisses the top of his head softly.

“You’re welcome.”

—

“You need new friends.”

Rin startles a little and looks over curiously. “What?”

“I said that you need new friends.”

“I heard you. But. What the fuck do you mean by that, Takuya?

Uozumi shudders. “First of all. It’s weird when you say my name. You’ve called me that like three times in the decade or so we’ve known each other please don’t. Second of all. I am classifying myself in that category. Get new friends. Please release me from this torture.”

“Torture? I am a delight to be friends with.” Nagisa snickers and Rin smacks him on the back of the head without even looking. “You will never find another friend as great as me shut up, Nagisa.”

Uozumi points at Nagisa like he’s making some grand point of some kind. Rin rolls his eyes because, really? Any point you’re making using Nagisa as an example — good or bad — is kind of a ridiculous point as far as Rin is concerned.

“I didn’t even say anything,” Nagisa protests. “Damn.”

“You didn’t need to. Your face says plenty even when your mouth is shut.”

“Oh yeah?” Nagisa smacks Rin’s shoulder. “What’s it saying now? Huh?”

Uozumi sighs — in a way that is far too dramatic for someone who willingly chooses to spend time with Momotarou of all people — as Rin turns to glare at Nagisa.

“It says you’re just jealous that I’m hot and have two hot boyfriends while you have… whatever it is that you have with your odd looks and strange little squishy cheeks.”

Nagisa’s eyes narrow dangerously and Rin grins in response.

“Your boyfriends are about to become widows,” Nagisa growls. Rin has enough time to jump to his feet and get a few long strides away before Nagisa launches himself at him.

He thinks he hears Uozumi mutter something about new friends again but then Nagisa somehow manages to catch Uozumi’s elbow and then Rin is running for his life as they chase him down the beach.

—

Seijuurou rolls over with a groan when Rin pokes his side.

“Breakfast in bed,” Ai coos. “Just for you.”

“Happy Birthday, old man,” Rin adds.

“Thirty is not old,” Seijuurou grumbles.

“Yeah.” Ai pokes him this time until he opens his eyes and sits up against the headboard. Ai hands him a plate and kisses his forehead. “Thirty isn’t old. You’re right.”

Rin kisses his cheek. “But thirty-one is,” he teases.

Seijuurou’s gonna get him back for that.

Later.

After he eats his breakfast in bed. And maybe takes a nap.

It’s his birthday, after all.

#free!#free! writing #Samezuka Trio #Samezuka Trio fic #mikoshiba seijuurou #nitori aiichirou #matsuoka rin #NitoMikoRin #NitoMikoRin fic

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partrin · 1 year

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so i signed up for a rinharu writing event and i'm so excited for it but i've yet again hit a writer's block. i've written like, a third of the way through the fic i'm writing for this event and it is toUGH!!!!!!!!! let's hope inspiration hits soon

#free! writing #fanfic writing #nora speaks

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penguicorns-are-cool · 11 months

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DO NOT DO THIS!!!

If a website has a paywall, like New York Times, DO NOT use the ctrl+A shortcut then the ctrl+c shortcut as fast as you can because then you may accidentally copy the entire article before the paywall comes up. And definitely don't do ctrl+v into the next google doc or whatever you open because then you will accidentally paste the entire article into a google doc or something!!!! I repeat DO NOT do this because it is piracy which is absolutely totally wrong!!!

#dont do this #piracy #paywall #research #research tip #free #free writing #free article

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heritageposts · 2 months

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🇵🇸 From BDS:

More than 300 Palestinian sports teams are calling to ban Israel from the Olympics over its genocide against Palestinians in Gaza. [...] In Gaza, Israel has killed Palestinian Olympic Football coach Hani Al Masdar, destroyed the Palestinian Olympic Committee offices, and turned sports facilities into shameful mass detention and torture centers. We can’t sit back as the IOC allows Israel to use the Olympics to sportswash its genocide in Gaza and its apartheid regime against Palestinians everywhere. Support the call from Palestinian teams. Join the campaign to #BanIsrael from the Olympics and peacefully disrupt the road to the Paris 2024 games.

Global days of action planned for March 15-17:

Ahead of the IOC executive board meeting in Lausanne Switzerland (March 19-21), take the call from Palestinian teams to your National Olympic Committee, International Sports Federations and Recognized Sports Federations. Organize protests, sit-ins, peaceful disruptions, or awareness raising events on Israeli attacks on Palestinian sports.

For more concrete information on how you can participate in the campaign, see the link above. You should also check in with your local BDS-affiliated organization(s) to see if they have anything planned for these dates (if they don't, consider bringing it up to them)

If you're not familiar with any BDS-affiliated organizations in your country (or state/city), then take a look at BDS's "Join a Campaign'"page.

There's also a petition you can sign.

#free palestine #palestine #gaza #israel #bds #boycott divest sanction #israeli apartheid month #iaw #the 'join a campaign page' seems to be down at the time up writing this but hopefully it should be up again soon

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judas-redeemed · 7 months

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yes yes characters doomed by the narrative always slap BUT what about characters saved by the narrative? characters who have already given up hope and don't know they have a happy ending? characters who believe they are a lost cause, characters who feel irredeemable, characters who think there's nothing left for them, but the narrative does provide a way out? what about the characters who don't expect anything good, who don't even remember how to wish for it anymore, who get the things they need anyway? what about the characters who actively run from being saved getting saved in a way they can't stop or control. what about being saved by the narrative!!!

#this is inspired by joy from eeaao #but feel free to blorbo it up #judas talks #doomed by the narrative #saved by the narrative #fate #narrative #on writing #on healing #on hope

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jamietarttsnorthernattitude · 4 months

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We’re fanfiction writers, of course:

We’re going to use song lyrics as titles.

We’re going to check for comments 30 seconds after we post something.

We’re going to have more WIPs than days of the month.

We’re going to use any excuse to post snippets.

We’re going to use ask box games to procrastinate.

We’re going to hype up our writer friends.

We’re going to scream, cry and throw up reading our friends’ work.

#hopping on the tumblr version of the tiktok trend #feel free to add ones I missed #writing #writing things #writers #pinned post

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 1 year

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i'm begging you guys to start pirating shit from streaming platforms. there are so many websites where you can stream that shit for free, here's a quick HOW TO:

1) Search for: watch TITLE OF WORK free online

2) Scroll to the bottom of results. Click any of the "Complaint" links

3) You will be taken to a long list of links that were removed for copyright infringement. Use the 'find' function to search for the name of the show/movie you were originally searching for. You will get something like this (specifics removed because if you love an illegal streaming site you don't post its url on social media)

4) each of these links is to a website where you can stream shit for free. go to the individual websites and search for your show/movie. you might have to copy-paste a few before you find exactly what you're looking, but the whole process only takes a minute. the speed/quality is usually the same as on netflix/whatever, and they even have subtitles! (make sure to use an adblocker though, these sites are funded by annoying popups)

In conclusion, if you do this often enough you will start recognizing the most dependable websites, and you can just bookmark those instead. (note: this is completely separate from torrenting, which is also a beautiful thing but requires different software and a vpn)

you can also download the media in question (look for a "download" button built into the video window, or use a browser extension such as Video DownloadHelper.)

#for adblocking--ublock origin is my favorite but adblocker plus is also popular #also i once again highly recommend using firefox especially on mobile #to enable adblock on firefox mobile just click 3 dot menu > addons > addon manager > enable uBlockOrigin #that's for android i assume it's similar for iOS #update it is NOT similar for iOS bc Apple hates you. i'll write another post later #anyway. PLEASE USE AN ADBLOCK ALL THE TIME (except for specific websites you want to support)#your internet browsing experience will be so enormously improved #also on firefox if you want to get past a paywall click the 'Toggle reader view' button as soon as the page loads #(it's on the right of the taskbar. a little rectangle with horizontal lines)#works for most news sites by showing you the webpage text that is hidden under the 'you've run out of free articles' popup #doesn't work for everything but it's worth a shot

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magnusbae · 9 months

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To illustrate this post by @mayahawkse I would like to visualize to you the difference:

A post in 2023:

A post in 2014:

A zoom out of the same post:

This is what a community looks like.

See how in 2023 almost all of the reblogs come from the OP, from their few hours/days in the tag search. Meanwhile in 2014 the % of reblogs from OP is insignificant, because most of the reblogs come from the reblogs within the fandom, within the micro-communities formed there. You didn't need to rely on tags, or search, or being featured. Because the community took care of you, made sure to pass the work between themselves and onto their blog and exposed their followers to it. It kept works alive for years.

It's not JUST the reblog/like ratio that causing this issue, it's the type of interaction people have. They're content with scrolling and liking the search engine, instead of actually having a reblogging relationship with other blogs in their community.

Anyways, if you want to see more content you like, the only true way to make it happen is to reblog it. Likes do not forward content in no way but making OP feel nice. Reblogs on the other hand make content eternal. They make it relevant, they make it exist outside of a fickle tumblr search that hardly works on the best of days.

If you want more of something, reblog it.

#i said i wont ever rant about this bc it's unseemly but HONESTLY.#you simply cannot complain about not having enough of A or B or C and then never reblog / interact with the content you love.#If you LOVE something you cannot just leave a like and silently wait for more to happen #I know countless of content creators that simply stopped doing art/writing fic/making edits #You need to understand that fandom content is made FOR the fandom FOR the engagement FOR the entertainment and fun it makes.#If a content creator does not have fun IN the fandom-- why would they spend the scares free time they have on making this content?#And we're not talking about things that you don't like-- no one expects you to reblog things you don't like.#However I think it's safe to say that when a post has more than 5k it's not some random shitpost with no value.#tumblr issues #tumblr #content creators #buns.txt #something something please don't starve your local clowns

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crispycreambacon · 2 months

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Cut Through The Noise

Even as the strike ends, the Palestinian genocide has not.

Now more than ever, there are so many conflicting voices. People with their own self-serving, hateful motivations speak over us, and sometimes our own voices can turn against us. We may feel like our voice isn't enough or we aren't doing enough.

This is why it's so important to learn to shut down that noise. No matter how much people scream that what we're doing is useless or a waste of time, keep talking. Keep talking about Palestine. Keep talking about Palestine for as long as this goes on, both online and in real life. If Israel won't end their genocide, we won't end our protest.

Below is a list of what you can do and the poem transcript.

Check and spread this post which contains a comprehensive list on how to help Palestine.

Learn about the history of Palestine and how the displacement and eventual genocide of Palestinians started in 1948.

Learn more about Palestine, the myths surrounding it and the arguments debunking it.

Boycott companies who are either directly or indirectly supporting and finding Palestine's genocide.

Click a button to raise funds for UNRWA – an organisation aiding Palestinian refugees.

Attend a protest.

Help Gazans stay connected by purchasing eSims for them.

Donate to the following organizations – any amount, no matter how small, goes a long way:

UNWRA

Care for Gaza

Medical Aid for Palestinians

Palestine Children's Relief Fund

Islamic Relief

Here's another post detailing more charities you can donate to

And most importantly of all: Don't Stop Talking About Palestine! However you interpret it as – creating art, talking to the people in your life, emailing and calling your representatives, even reblogging and making posts – make your voice loud and clear!

— Poem Transcript —

There's a lot of noise right now

Screams dehumanizing poor souls

Groans from those in willful ignorance

People digging deeper and deeper holes

And it's overwhelming, it really is

I do not blame you

Sometimes you feel that your voice is too small

I feel that way too

But despite that, I urge you to keep going

And demand for what's right

Even it sounds like a whimper

You're still joining in the fight

And soon the rest of us will join

We can stand together here

We can cut through the white noise

And make our message clear

#palestine #gaza #free palestine #free gaza #from the river to the sea palestine will be free #don't stop talking about palestine #strike for palestine #justice for palestine #ceasefire now #palestine solidarity #palestine resources #art #artists on tumblr #comic #chris p fried art #chris p fried writings #tw eyestrain #eyestrain

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theoldkyokodied · 5 months

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This bloodweave art dump has it all: The price of devotion, the serenity of simple touches, cat to cat communication and iasip redraws with slightly altered dialogue

#bloodweave #astarion x gale #gale x astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale dekarios #astarion ancunin #the bw server knows most of these already diakjdhkjkfhksk #i had exams. i still have to write one but after that… i will be a free man once more. ready to draw (hopefully)#i actually have more iasip redraws wips. yes i have recently started to rewatch it. dont look at me

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apollos-olives · 6 months

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i want to mention that while yes, the conditions that palestinians live in is horrid, palestine is still a beautiful place.

there are so many stories of people returning from their trip to palestine and all of them saying that they were disgusted and horrified and the living conditions they say the palestinians were in were just awful, and while yes all of that is true, and palestinians do live in ridiculous conditions, i still want to make it clear that palestine is an insanely beautiful place. our mountains are beautiful, our plants are beautiful, our mosques, our churches, our olive trees, our birds. palestine is a beautiful place. it is the birthplace of both christianity and judaism, it is the birthplace of jesus. our temples are astonishing, our food is delicious, our culture is rich, and our diversity is beyond. our dances are beautiful, our clothing, our jewlery, our homes. each and every one of our lives is precious.

go to any palestinian home in the world and you'll see beautiful things. the west wants to get rid of us, to completely decimate every part of our existence, but we will not let them. and we need everyone on our side to help us keep palestine's beauty safe.

#this took me forever to write bc every 3 seconds i was coughing up blood #agh agh agh agh #anyway i had some pictures to go with this post but i felt like it wasn't a good place or smth #palestine #free palestine

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ezzydean · 2 years

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tricks and treats - SouHaru

come trick-or-treat in my inbox requesting ficcies and I’ll either treat you to some fluff or humor or trick you with a horribly twisted sad AU (I’ll use a random generator to pick trick or treat) send me “trick or treat” and a character(s) or ship in my inbox and I’ll write you a short little thing (I’ll be doing these all of October so send away!) so ro and I are being us and taking a list of rather fluffy sounding prompts and doing our best to twist them into our tricks. this one is “Frost collecting on each blade of grass.”

trick

Sousuke watches as the field around him fills with shadows. Creeping, crawling little things that swirl and sweep along and bend each blade of grass and spindly weed in unnatural ways that might have once sent a shiver of pure fear down his spine but now? Now he just watches and wonders in an offhand sort of way if this is it. If this is when it all finally catches up to him.

“Why are you always so melodramatic?” Haru’s voice whispers against the nape of his neck, hot and cold in equal measures. Just like Haru himself. “I don’t remember you being this bad when we were teens.”

“You barely knew me when we were teens,” Sousuke reminds him. “I hated you and you tolerated my existence.”

Haru sits next to him and then immediately flops backwards in the grass to stare up at the bright sky.

“And now? Do you still hate me?”

Sousuke drags his gaze from the slow rise and fall of Haru’s chest and eyes the horizon instead.

“Some days more than others.” He glances at Haru. “Do you still tolerate me?”

“I do more days than I don’t,” Haru replies immediately. “And even the days I don’t, I do.”

Sousuke nods.

The shadows grow and creep and curl around them. A cold embrace as they watch the bright clouds roll across the equally bright sky.

“Next time?” Sousuke can’t help but ask.

“Maybe,” Haru says softly. Far more kindly than he ever used to speak to Sousuke. “Maybe.”

—

The wind flies past him, whistling oddly in his ears and biting angrily at his skin as he sits on a stump and stares, unseeing, at the ground.

How long has it been this time? How far has he traveled? How quiet has the world grown without him even noticing?

“Maybe,” the wind whispers against his cheek, an icy caress. “Maybe next time.”

—

A single snowflake lands on his hand. It doesn’t melt. He’s been far too cold for far too long for that. Instead it settles, frost spreading along his skin like spiderwebs. Creeping slowly until it’s suddenly everywhere.

He sits and touches the grass under him curiously, watching with an awe he hasn’t felt in ages as the frost crawls along one blade and then hops to the next and the next and the next.

Haru sits next to him as the frost reaches the top of the trees in the park.

“This time?” Sousuke asks softly, gaze on the leaves glittering in the distance.

Haru reaches for him, tangles their fingers together, and brings Sousuke’s hand to his lips.

“This time,” Haru agrees. “Don’t thank me,” he warns, breath so cold it’s hot against the back of Sousuke’s hand. “I did this to you.”

“You did,” Sousuke agrees. “But I asked for it. So. Thank you.”

The world around them shatters, ice shards filling the air.

The bright sun shines down, making the grass shimmer and shine like diamonds in the empty park.

#trick or treat 2022 #free!#nanase haruka #yamazaki sousuke #SouHaru #HaruSou #SouHaru fic #free! writing #prompt #cattatonically #half k burst

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inkskinned · 9 months

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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

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