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#fuckana
curlyescargot · 2 years
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TW: ed
I'm literally so sick of this. My mom literally only comes in my room to ask me if I've eaten, what I've eaten and if I can bring my dishes to the kitchen. It's almost like she cares about my disorder more than me.
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04.19.2022
Exactly one month after my birthday I get to spend the day watching all kinds of movies with my new friend. He’s so good to me, so respectful and kind. He took me out for a nice dinner last night and he didnt force me to eat any off my fear foods. He got me to choose what I wanna eat and let me eat it in peace. No fussing, no pressuring, no frowning on me. It was a fun night and Im having the best day. I ain’t been this happy in a longtime..
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havivian · 9 months
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NEDA 2020
Each year, the last week of February is designated to National Eating Disorder Awareness. So, every year, towards the beginning of the month, I sit down and I reflect on this God awful illness and I try to understand it. I try to think that everything happens for a reason- including something so selfish, deceiving and manipulative as Anorexia Nervosa truly is. And usually, I can justify it. I tell myself that it taught me strength, I tell myself I wouldn’t be who I am today without it. And while I do believe these things to be true somewhere deep inside... this year, all I could feel was rage. I hate this disorder, I really do. I hate the things it’s done to my body, my mind, my family, my friends- my life for the past seven years.
So, as we learn from this illness- as we grow, recover, bloom beyond the sight of Ana's view- though we do have to try to understand it, anger is okay. It's okay to feel rage towards something that's taken so much away from you.
NEDA has titled this years awareness week: hindsight is 2020.
I really do wonder how different my life would be today if only I'd known a few short years ago that there was a life beyond daily weigh ins and measurements to assure my size 00 jeans still fit loosely...
To the disorder that almost killed me before I was even old enough to get my learners permit: fuck you.
Thanks for the jeans ED. I don't want them anymore.
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toceans · 3 years
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Da piccola quando vedevo i cartoni animati, mi facevo preparare da mia madre le gocciole con la nutella spalmata sopra. Un sogno. Mi ricordo del loro sapore, squisito, ma adesso mi fanno una fottutissima paura...
Oppure quando tornavo da danza, verso le 6 del pomeriggio, mi sedevo sul divano comodamente a guardare h2o, con una ciotola di patatine al pomodoro.
Tra i tanti ricordi di infanzia legati al cibo, quelli che mi mettono più allegria, sono sicuramente i compleanni. Tra un po’ ci andavo solo per mangiare le pizzette, le patatine e cibo spazzatura, dal momento che a casa mia non si comprava molto spesso.
Le rare serate al mc con i miei per me erano esattamente la definizione di f e l i c i t à.
Il cibo era felicità, non era controllo.
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quashstigma · 3 years
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I think “recovery burnout” is real. I think it’s important to be kind to yourself if your feeling it. Use that self kindness tool kit. Recovery doesn’t always look like massive changes everyday. Often it’s boring, but for the days it’s not boring and you’re fighting to be in recovery it’s important to put the work in. Acknowledging it’s boring, tiring is ok. #hypothalamicamenorrhearecovery #hypothalamicamenorrhea #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #edwarriors #anorexianervosarecovery #anorexiafighter #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #bulimierecovery #fuckdietculture #fuckdiet #antifatphobia #fuckeatingdisorders #fuckana #fuckbulimia #fuckanorexianervosa #atypicalanorexia #atypicalanorexiarecovery #atypicalanorexianervosa #bingeeatingrecovery #bingeeatingdisorderrecovery #healthateverysizemovement #haes, #burnoutrecovery #edrecoveryburnout, #selfkindnessmatters #selfkindness #selfcompassionjourney https://www.instagram.com/p/COEWUW_pI69/?igshid=1ixft69vjmm2w
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recoveryinvegan · 3 years
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Nearly there
i feel dizzy
maybe i should stop,
just a little bit more
yeah it’s ok, nothing it’s gonna happen
my heart is beating too fast
it’s just the adrenaline
i don’t like this, i’m gonna stop now
today it’s the last day
i promise
ok, Tomorrow it’s going to be the day
but i said that last week too 
no no, it’s ok
but i swear this time it’s going to be the one
i can feel it...
ok, just once again
i need to stop for a second
but then it will be harder
you’ re right, just this last time
it’s nearly all out, then we can pretend nothing happened
ok, i swear this is the last time
i promise just one more, and then i’m all done
it’s an habit, i can’t just let it go
you don’t understand me
you can’t 
i promise i’m doing better
yeah, one more time it’s not going to change anything
ok, maybe i should just go out for a run
i will feel better
i’m not ok
should i feel like this?
yes it’s normal, just keep going
a little bit more, i can do it
maybe i can’t, but still don’ t stop
it’s all too much
no that’s a lie, 
everything it’s going to be ok
can’t you see it? i’m dong soo much better
look it’s all ok i’m just eating healty 
little steps.
everything is under control, you just need to trust me
i’ve done it again...
don’t think about it, we all make mistakes
but for this one last time
keep going, we’re already halfway throught
at this point i might as well do it right
i can’ t breathe
i know, but you’ re nearly there
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firmfart-blog · 3 years
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Me dudes
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swampgrandma · 4 years
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ED Tingz
Not to toot my own horn but I had TWO pieces of meatloaf, a piece of corn, and a potato at dinner. This time last year, that would have been impossible. 
A M A Z I N G 
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spicyorangejuice · 4 years
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Tfw ur sister is shaming u for binging her food last night
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Hey Swifties🖤 Today I want to make a very personal and (for me) emotional post. May is #mentalhealthawarenesmoth 🙏 Mental health is one of the most important things in your life!!! Many people may think that it's extremely overhyped and unnecessary to make such a big deal. I thought this too (many years ago). But it's not. I started to recognize how important it was when I realized that I am mentally ill. It was 2 years ago, but took me one year until I've been able to go to a therapist. Going to her (the therapist) was the best decision I've ever made for my life! 🖤 Now I'm fighting with her against my social anxiety disorder and my Anorexia nervosa. And I'm getting better and better day by day. . So what I want to tell you is: Mental Health is a big big deal because in our society so many people are affected with psychological illnesses and they're invisible. You can't see them like a broken arm or a wound but they're still here. And they're increasing... Our society is getting more superficial and egotistical. Also the pressure is massive. Unfortunately many people heve anxiety going to the therapist or searching for help because they think that they're not ill enough or that others would judge them. THERE IS NO "NOT ILL ENOUGH"!!! You are worth it getting help! And yes there are many people who might judge you, but they are often either stupid or they only know all those prejudices that aren't true. . #mentalhealth is important! We have to break all those shaming and false prejudices about mental illnesses! . I hope you're doing fine! Please take care of yourself! You are important, worthy and beautiful the way you are. And it's not weak to get Help! You're the strong one, because you're starting the hardest and most intense thing: working on yourself! 💗 . . #ts7 #taylorswift13 #taylorswift #swiftie #swiftieforever #taylorswiftfan #swiftieforlife #youcantspellawesomewithoutme #theoldtaylorisntdead #fuckeatingdisorders #fuckana #fuckaxienty #mentalhealthcounts #mentalhealth #therapy #selfcare #personality #taylorswift #swiftie #swiftieforever #taylorswiftfan #swiftieforlife #youcantspellawesomewithoutme #theoldtaylorisntdead #welovetaylorswift #style https://www.instagram.com/p/CAoAfQ0Hcl1/?igshid=afhg7bngagrq
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pandacorn22 · 4 years
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Yes it says fat across my stomach, carved it a while ago but fuck it I bought something for me and almost at my goal weight to wear it comfortably
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dreamingasdove · 5 years
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today I did some light exercises and went for a walk. lately I’ve been trying to restrict under 500 and I went over today but in the end I was able to get back down :)
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havivian · 9 months
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NEDA 2019
This years' National Eating Disorder Awareness Week, as we stray away from harmful side-by-side comparison photos and the unnecessary sharing of numbers: we must begin to address not the physical outcomes of the mental disorder, but instead the thoughts they bring and why they do, and what can be done to prevent them. I have struggled with both Anorexia and Bulimia, inevitably accompanied by Body Dysmorphia, since I was thirteen. Contrary to popular belief, Anorexia Nervosa has no weight criteria; as it can be defined as not a body type or shape, but instead "an emotional disorder characterized by an obsessive desire to lose weight by refusing to eat." That means that any human being making the conscious decision to restrict their caloric intake in an unhealthy manner with the intent to lose weight for an extended period of time, is one who suffers from Anorexia Nervosa- despite what their scale says. Eating Disorders are simply not the picture perfect Lily Collins love story Netflix and the rest of the world want you to believe. Eating disorders are laying awake at night feeling your body begin to cannibalize itself in a desperate attempt for the protein necessary to carry out the most basic of daily tasks. They're ugly, open sores on your knuckles from excessive skin to stomach acid contact. Crying over Rice Krispies. Balding before adulthood. Your family and friends concerned looks as they notice the increased prominence and visibility of your bones poking against your skin each time they see you. A new coat of thin white hair produced by your body determined to remain insulated. Constantly horrified by the thought of taking up space in a room. Cramps from dehydration as your mind slowly becomes too afraid of drinking water, terrified at the mere thought of the bloat it may cause. Cancelling every plan as you feel simply "too fat" to be seen by anyone beyond your own four walls. Need I go on. Eating disorders are ugly and they're unforgiving. And no- eating disorders can't be cured by somebody falling in love with you, not unless that somebody is yourself.
So, this year, instead of using a picture from a time I was dangerously underweight to brag about how great my disordered mind thought depriving my sick body of nutrients made me look; here I am now. Living a life not measured by pounds or calories but instead laughter and moments occupied by genuine happiness. The physical "before" is irrelevant. We recover or we die. As once sang by Florence Welch,
"I thought that love was a kind of emptiness, And at least I understood then the hunger I felt,
And I didn’t have to call it loneliness.”
Here's to practicing healthier coping mechanisms, building positive mentalities, becoming strong, resilient human beings and of course, here's to a lifetime devoted to recovery.
+18009312237 24hr USA NEDA hotline
my dms are always open to any questions/ advice to the best of my ability
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is-prinsessa · 5 years
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TW✖️
Throwing it back to when I used to balance on the edge of complete self destruction. To when food was an enemy and Ana kept screaming at me that I wasn’t doing enough. To when I used to drink tons of water to make the hunger go away. To secretly throwing away food, to the secret measuring tape and the scale I kept under my bed, to the diary with calorie counts, to sleepless nights spent on the floor doing situps, to having a goal weight of 38 kg, to sitting on the bathroom floor over the toilet with my fingers down my throat, to not eating until I fainted and started hallucinating. To all the tears, secrets, lies, panic attacks, disappointment and the constant feeling of failure.
I suppose this darkness will always be a part of me, but I feel like I’ve managed to overcome it, at least a little. There are still days when I stand in front of the mirror and feel ashamed because my bones are not visible anymore. But Ana doesn’t have any power over me anymore. And I kicked her out of my head all by myself. I feel like I’m allowed to be proud of myself. And that’s a first.
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quashstigma · 3 years
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You know, the constant obsession with foods. I write this tonight, after baking a cake & actually eating it. It got me thinking about all those times I baked and never tasted a bite. When I was deep in anorexia I became a hard core baker, when in reality I have no real interest in baking. I would obsess over recipes, scrolling through site after site for recipes. Ogling over the foods “I wasn’t allowed” foods my brain told me were for the rest of the world but not myself. Why do many of us do this/ have this fetish? I think it’s for several reasons: - Our brains are malnourished and so it draws our attention, makes us hyper vigilant of foods, foods others are eating around us, foods we would love to have permission to eat - on some level, it makes us feel superior, special. And then you realise this is bullshit. - I think many posts on social media are a form of this. I also wonder if when someone is posting what they’re eating continually if it’s actually a form of parade eating “look I’m eating” when in fact it may not be true. I know I used to make a big deal of being “seen to eat” - watching cooking shows, saving recipe after recipe and never cooking them is also another feature I think is common. We don’t really talk about this in the recovery community but it is a really intrusive part of an ED. - I believe it settles of it’s own accord once we recover enough that our brains are no longer perceiving a famine. Is this something you can resonate with? #mentalhealth #foodporn #anorexiarecovering #anorexiafighter #anorexianervosarecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #recoveryinspo #recoveryispossible #recoveryinspiration #atypicalanorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #bulimianervosarecovery #foodobsessionfreedom #hypothalamicamenorrhea #eatingdisorderwarrior #fuckana https://www.instagram.com/p/CTboQcDpFic/?utm_medium=tumblr
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sandmangirl · 6 years
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