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#funny one
ellanainthetardis · 10 months
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The Bartender
Chaff loved the kid like he was his own – or at least a younger annoying little brother – but sometimes he wanted to strangle him.
Today was one of those days.
Now, it didn’t take much to convince Chaff to go to a bar but nobody would have accused The Capitol of being the kind of joint he usually patronized.
Chaff liked his bars with some character, chaffed booths, dimmed lights, dubious looking bowls of peanuts, stained counters… That was where you found the best booze – and the easiest ladies.
The Capitol had none of that.
It had spotless gleaming mahogany surfaces everywhere, cozy little booths and tables that belonged more in a hip café or a tea parlor, bright lights that blinded you after a while – and too many glasses – and, more importantly, it had fancy cocktails with little umbrellas in them and unpronounceable names. And that was without mentioning the low bass of the pop music that made up the background noise.
READ MORE on ff or HERE on AO3
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solisea · 5 months
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my friend @chodzacaparodia makes a lot of dzieńdobry cards and always wishes you tasty coffee, so the coffee stuck in my head "give me morning coffee, motherfucker"
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writingonesdreams · 2 years
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Happy STS!
My question today is very important. Where would your OCs fall on this chart?
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This...is surprisingly complex exercise:
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Kieran is an angry bean, but he is a confused chaotic dumbass bean. Leander is the same but grown up and better at looking smartass.
Zephyr with the dumbass energy for how people tend to underestimate him. All about quite strenght. But he is really cool in fact.
Hal is 100 years old. Looks like a boy. You could think him scary until he opens his mouth about anything not involving magic, the Order or dragons.
Skye and Cam are your smartasses with proud smartass energy. It's why they get each other so well. Cam is just more openly shameless about it.
Thanks for the question!
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Don't expect u to write it but it's a cursed idea and funny to me so I want to hear what u have to say: HoD x false god otto
That's cursed alright, they'd be too busy smugly smirking at each other to get anything done
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haknom · 1 year
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you've been cocal cola masshitdaed
cocal 😂😂😂
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floodnetworks · 2 years
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butchfalin · 5 months
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 7 days
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Knowledge Revenge.
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dishsaop · 6 months
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the worst part about being an adult is thay its no longer socially acceptable to just roll down a really big hill and then run back up it and roll back down again. "oh is this a syphilis metaphor" passerby would ask. "is this for a tick tock". no i just wanna come home covered in dirt and scratches and bask in the the solace of childlike mirth
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akajustmerry · 3 months
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Anastasia 1997 is such a funny movie in that it's opening sequence is like, "the Romanovs died because rasputin put a curse on them AND NO OTHER REASON DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHY THE ROMANOVS ARE DEAD OKAY IT WAS RASPUTIN"
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cannibalchicken · 2 months
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ellanainthetardis · 2 years
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One Day
The moment Finnick stepped a foot into the penthouse, Effie was on him, fussing like a mother hen, making strangled noises and smoothing the creases of his shirt like it was the most important thing in the world.
Haymitch shared a look with Chaff, rolled his eyes and gently but firmly steered her away from the boy. If the other senior victor from Four was to be believed, Finnick was black and blue – and Stella wasn’t prone to exaggeration, except where Brutus was concerned…
“You’re okay, kid?” he asked, a little worried.
He kept a firm hold on Effie’s arm because she looked like she wanted to fly right back to the boy and check him over again. For the most part, Finnick looked fine except for a stitched up gash over his eyebrow that hopefully wouldn’t leave a scar.
READ MORE on ff or HERE on AO3
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spyglassrealms · 1 year
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had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing
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littlelightfish · 6 days
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Funny things I found out playing with language setting in Netflix while looking episode 14:
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Chilchuck's scream sounds HAUNTED in brazilian portuguese. Give it a try if you can.
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In spanish dub, Senshi says: "tocó mis senos de hombre", which means "he touched my man boobs" in Spanish. And I think that's the best dub line one so far.
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daftmooncretin · 3 months
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spock’s room decor is actually fucking bonkers. The weapons??? the big red velvet curtain??? like ok phantom of the opera go crazy.
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for reference jim’s room has some photos and a plant so we can surmise this is uniquely a spock being a dramatic weirdo thing
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guooey · 1 year
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