#gay mormon culture

[the-gays-took-my-coffee]

Something my coworker said to me today

“I know what to call heterosexuals!”

Me: “Oh no.”

Him: “They follow the straight and narrow path.”

#the aroace lesbian #gay #gay mormons #gay mormon culture #ldsconf #lgbt lds #queerstake #lgbt #lgbtyouth #mormon #exmo #exmormon #ace discourse

[the-gays-took-my-coffee]

An old friend of mine (who “disowned” me since coming out) text me wanting to talk about things. I don’t know if I should be happy she’s reaching out or load my comeback gun for all the homophobia that’s bound to happen

#the aroace lesbian #lgbt #gay #gay mormon culture #lgbtyouth #homophobia

[the-gays-took-my-coffee]

Today I stood in the shower and cried. Everything that had happened today was so overwhelming and I couldn’t take it anymore. As I cried I thought to myself: I am loved. It took me five minutes and multiple failed tries until I could say it out loud.

My mom, at work, was asking me for my thoughts on loving and accepting others. Since I had come out to her (a phrase I use loosely) as being a member of the LGBTQ community, I never doubted that she still loved me. I have been blessed with parents that always remained accepting, even if it was a rocky start. I was more than happy to share with her my input. A few hours later, she made a Facebook post quoting John 15:17 that said These things I command you, that he love one another. The background of said post was rainbow flags. Even though I knew she still loved me, I never was quite sure where she stood on my sexuality. My dad and I have talked openly about it before, but my mom and I rarely said anything. That post she made seemed like the clear answer I had been waiting for.

A few weeks ago I was talking to a coworker. I mentioned how much I wanted to leave, how I felt trapped and somewhat disowned by my community and people I had associated myself with. When I told her why, about what had made me feel so different, at first she didn’t respond. She gave me a hug and said: “If people don’t love you for who you are they never really loved you at all.”

A few days ago a family I had known since age 8 seemed to completely cut ties with me after knowing my sexuality. I considered the mother a second mother, and nearly all her children my other sisters. It was a family I was incredibly close with, and I was disappointed when I discovered they no longer were showing me the love and support they had once so happily given me.

Today at work my other coworker offered to drive me home on days we had the same schedule. She casually threw in that I was her friend. To me, someone who never had any friends and had recently lost many people I considered close, that meant a lot. As we worked side by side I outed myself to her as we talked about the Mormon church. She didn’t say much but clearly told me she didn’t see it as a problem at all, and then suggested we someday go for ice cream.

I haven’t taken a shower in three days. My hair was greasy. I had a bag of laundry sitting on the floor from four days ago. I couldn’t muster any will to clean my room. I laid in bed for hours because I couldn’t seem to get up. Week after week this continued. In years past my depression was horrible. Now I wouldn’t describe it as unbearable, but something I lived with daily. This past year it seemed to go up and down. Coming to terms with my sexuality helped my mental state tremendously. How people reacted to it didn’t. As I stood underneath the hot water, I couldn’t help but cry. I cried because scrubbing my hair felt so good. I cried because I had confirmation that my mom fully accepted me. I cried because the toxic people in my life were now gone and slowly new people were taking their place. People who loved and accepted me. I cried, which turned into a laugh, and then the hot water was gone and I cursed.

Feel free to share, reblog. My goal for 2019 is for things to get better. For the pieces of the puzzle to finally fit together. Today, it seems like it’s going to be okay.

#the aroace lesbian #depression #gay mormon culture #gaypride #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtcommunity #comfort for lgbt members of the church of jesus christ of latter day saints #lgbtyouth #coming out day #coming out #lds church #the church of jesus christ of latter day saints #mormon #ldsconf #aroace wlw positivity #postivity #positive thoughts #happynewyear #2019 #20noneteen #20biteen #new years resolution

[the-gays-took-my-coffee]

Tried to talk to my mom about Elder Oak’s talk on Saturday. Last time I’m doing that again.

#yeah no #ldsconf #gay mormon culture #the aroace lesbian

[the-gays-took-my-coffee]

It makes me so sad knowing that there other youth out there who are questioning their gender, sexuality, etc and are believing the things Elder Oaks is saying. Elder Oaks is doing the opposite of what Christ represents. I’m praying so hard that this does not diminish the light that the youth in the church posses. Just listening to it now, even already knowing who I am, hurt a lot. I felt anger, grief, desperation, and it reminded me that I was broken. If it weren’t for the supporting community of tumblr telling me otherwise, I don’t think I would have gone to the women’s conference (I almost didn’t) and I might’ve tried to avoid today’s conference as well. This is the reason why LGBT people go inactive in the church. Maybe someone should proofread the talks before they’re given in conference. Oaks made so many people loose faith in the church and in the spirit this weekend. For all the people out there, he is not correct. You all are loved and valid. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ care more about what kind of person you are and how you treat other more than what gender you identify as or who do or do not feel attracted to. Don’t let him put you in a state of depression. There are so many people who love and support you. If anybody needs to talk, I’m always here!

#ldsconf #the aroace lesbian #elder oaks #lgbtyouth #gay mormon culture #general conference

[the-gays-took-my-coffee]

Currently debating if I should give my dad my url. Any advice?

#the aroace lesbian #coming out #lgbtyouth #gay mormon culture

[the-gays-took-my-coffee]

My dad text this to me an hour ago. We’ve had some issues in the past, like him insisting I’ll get married to a man or that my asexuality isn’t real because I had a crush when I was 8. I’ve constantly cried over the things he has said to me and it’s made my trust in him go away more and more. This message from him means so much to me, and I’m considering giving him my tumblr url as my way of coming out to him as sapphic/lesbian. I’m so happy to know that he’s starting to support me, finally. It’s been a hard year since I came out halfway to my family, but I feel like things are slowly coming together.

#ldsconf #the aroace lesbian #aroace #lgbtyouth #gay mormon culture

[the-gays-took-my-coffee]

I thought I’d make a quick post about this since it’s been on my mind for awhile.

I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Most people know us as Mormons. I’m not going to be all preachy, but I feel pretty strong in my beliefs. One of the main teachings of the church is eternal marriage.

Disclaimer: Don’t take my views as gospel. This is simple just a post about things I observe and how I feel.

I am asexual, aromantic, sapphic/lesbian. Our church has made outright statements supporting those of the LGBT community, and while I wish they did more to show it, it’s not that bad. However the church does put a lot of emphasis on eternal marriage, having a family, etc. My situation doesn’t align exactly with homosexual people on this, but I feel the cases were fairly similar. Instead of still wanting to get married, I don’t want to get married at all. I’ve thought this way when I was younger but I kept telling myself I would grow out of it (still waiting).

I’m not out to anyone in my church. My family and childhood friend know I am aroace, but they don’t know the lesbian part simply because I don’t think they’d understand, believe me, or take me as gay. Because of this it’s hard to find answers to questions I have, but for all those queer Mormons and Christians out there I want to let you know that first, God is love. He loves us all. And second, we’ll find our answers in our own time. I feel like God would care if we were good people more than he would care which gender, sexual identity, or attraction we claimed ourselves with.

I’m always here to talk! Feel free to message me anytime ❤️

#lgbt #lgbtyouth #gay mormon culture #mormon #lds church #lds #god #christianity #asexual #aromantic #sapphic #wlw #lesbian #aroace lesbian #aroace #god is love #book of mormon #lgbtpride #lgbtq #lgbtqia