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gallusrostromegalus · 7 months

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So how much are you willing to talk about Ulquiorra?

I will talk so much about him. There are so many things wrong with that man, but to make a brief list of his most notable features:

He's dumb as hell.

I say that with tremendous sympathetic affection. Ulquiorra barely thinks. It's easy for him to do nothing and go nowhere. He eats chocolate in the middle of the night in the dark. When he gets access to a garden, he often just stands around in it. He's often waiting for things to happen.

He just LOOKS smart compared to nearly everyone else in the fic because he doesn't have much to say, so he's not constantly opening his mouth to jam his foot down it.

Consequently, Ulquiorra starts off having little to no initiative of his own. Stuff just happens to him. Some of that is because he is colossally depressed, but he's depressed because the idea that he has control over his circumstances has straight up not occured to him.

The first person he meets that shows him that "You can just do whatever you want, forever" and the boundless joy it is to be a creature of free will is, unfortunately, Aizen. And Aizen left off the key corollary "-EVERYONE is allowed to do whatever they want, forever. We are all equal in God's dead, empty eye sockets."

So Ulquiorra wanders around trying out this "doing stuff" thing without any concept of ethics.

I realize I am infantilizing this character, but I am doing so in a twilight zone "hey, wouldn't it be fucked up to watch a fully anatomically functional person who is able to speak and blow stuff up with his mind go through the emotional development steps of a toddler?", because I think that's a fun high-concept premise to explore with him. Yeah, what if a toddler could speak articulately and also destroy you? How would he act? How does he feel, learning to have feelings?

It'd probably suck for him and everyone around him, and make him very easy to manipulate, for one thing.

So I don't think Ulquiorra is evil, because evil takes intent. He is dangerous to be in the general proximity of, though

Like a horse

lose

in a hospital!

I love that sketch as much as the next person but if an IRL horse got loose in a hospital it would be bedlam, but the horse would be mostly confused and probably willing to follow around the first person who looked like they knew what they were doing.

You know, like how Ulquiorra follows Aizen around because that's the first guy he's met who THINKS he knows what he's doing, and is good at convincing others he knows what he's doing!

So Ulquiorra's entire first character arc is being exposed to more and more people and realizing he does have control over his life, and that he can take actions, and that those actions have consequences.

Like being emotionally devastated by a teenage girl because he was an asshole to her and she's willing to scream at him about it.

Hm.

Consequences hurt.

He lives through the Las Noches arc, and decides to follow his own star!

He follows it right through a portal that was not meant for him and now he's sort of trapped in somewhere he's really, really, really, really, REALLY not supposed to be.

But it's a beautiful place

And nobody is forcing him to do anything.

And for a long time, he just stands out in the garden, waiting for something.

But then

Ulquiorra experiences a novel pair of emotions that he's recently learned from his new...

Orihime is too mad at him for him to call her a friend.

-but he did learn the names and therefore the experience of two new emotions from her: boredom, and it's natural remedy: curiosity.

So Ulquiorra's second character arc is him learning how to be himself without anyone telling him who he is and what he ought to be.

He's travelling up Maslow's hierarchy with the inscrutable but unstoppable instinctual drive of a salmon returning to its spawning ground.

This has lead to an important discovery on my part: Ulquiorra is terrific for comedy because he is the ULTIMATE straight man to everyone else's nonsense, because he's immune to nearly all nonsense.

He doesn't have societal taboos to be hung up on, nor any sense of what is "normal", so the sole thing he geta hung up on is a lack of internal consistency in others, meaning he can slip between straight man to the absurdist at the drop of a single scathing observation. Yet, he retains a sort of understated dignity that compels people to try to earn his respect.

Hence, I'm having fun turning him loose on the most absurd, internally inconsistent and frankly, insane batch of characters in the series:

The Royal Guard.

#AEIWAM #An Elephant Is Warm And Mushy #bleach #bleach fanfic #ulquiorra cifer #Ulquiorra #mild spoilers

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nyimasu · 11 months

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BLEACH MEN, PART 2

───── 𝑊𝐻𝐴𝑇 𝑇𝑈𝑅𝑁𝑆 𝑇𝐻𝐸𝑀 𝑂𝑁

— CHARACTERS : Kuchiki Byakuya, Aizen Sosuke, Szayel Aporro Granz (+ small bonus at the end)

— CONTENT WARNING : implied size kink, wall sex, oral (m receiving), degradation kink, power play, cowgirl position, aftercare with byakuya, bdsm content (flogging, master/slave dynamics, use of a monoglove/armbinder, brat taming), cum eating, an*l, quirofilia, orgasm denial

ANYA'S CORNER : my gorgeous friend loni aka @nagumoan helped me immensely with the bonus part at the end and I can't thank her enough for it. I love you dearly, my beloved. thank you 🤍. you can find the first part here ! also stay tuned for the women version, it'll be out soon aw hope you enjoy this!

REBLOGS ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED!

✧. AIZEN, SZAYEL — POWER PLAY

Both these men are used to be hold in high regard from everyone, whether they like it or not. But the fact is, Aizen and Szayel can put up with your attitude to a certain extent. And for that, they have different aces up their sleeves.

The ex-Captain prefers to have you between his legs, with your sinful lips wrapped around his cock. He might require your "services" at any time, even during his daily meetings with the Espada.

It isn't unusual for them to see the back of your head bob up and down on his girth from under the table, or to hear the obscene squelches bouncing back off the walls to them when Aizen shoves his hand among your locks to push your face flat against the neat bush of pubic hair, making you gag on him while the man talk with either Ulqiuorra or Tosen.

He only does so when you've been particularly infuriating. That'one of the ways he uses to shut you up and convince you to take what he mercifully gives you without complaining.

And when it happens, he doesn't even let you touch yourself as you pleasure him, oh no.

He rather prefers to have you choke on his cum when it paints your mouth white, with your arms restrained in a leather armbinder behind your back. The Espada would look at you, unfazed, when you tilt your head up and press it against his thigh when their boss simply says,

"Open your mouth. Let me see."

You oblige, sticking out your tongue to show him how much of a good girl you can be if he can be reasoned with. Then you swallow with a smirk he reciprocates.

"Now, what do you have to do next? Don't make me repeat myself."

As Aizen proceeds to take off the restraint device, you immediately sit on his lap, waiting for him to wrap up the meeting and continue your business elsewhere.

All while you're covered in nothing but a flimsy replica of his white jacket, of course, so that everyone can see how your nipples push against the fabric and the arousal gushing down your legs soak your partner's trousers.

The one who enjoys the view the most is Aizen himself, of course, even if Ulquiorra doesn't disdain it so much, either.

The same sort of minimum decency can't be assumed of Szayel, however. If you push his buttons, he will strike back twice as hard. You can be unnerving if you put your head to it, and that the Espada can't stand.

So, whenever you're within reach, he'll push you against a wall face first. Do you think he cares if someone sees you? You've been down that road with him countless times. No one is safe with him around, especially you.

"Still want to run your mouth like that, slut?" a sudden sting of pain has you grasping for air, and you turn to see the pink-haired Espada holding the black cat o' nine tails whip he just hit you with.

Maybe it's the voice, his eyes sparkling with sadism or the fact that you're so exposed to others. Either way, a moan crawls past your lips before you can catch it.

And that pushes Szayel to press his body against yours while the flail ravages your skin one, two, three times. The Arrancar thinks he's finally found the instrument which will keep you in place for good.

Jokes on him. You're enjoying your punishment a bit too much. "Oh, Szayel," you coo at him, ass pushed against his growing erection as you grab him by the wrist and raise the whip until it brushes your cheek. "Do you really think such a tiny thing will scare me? Try again, oh perfect being."

Needless to say, after that he's quick to shred your dress to pieces and bare his cock oozing in precum, just to then coat it in your wetness and enter you altogether.

His height consumes the space behind you as he bends over to bite your ear lobe, hand around your throat when he growls,

"And you really think that I'll let you off the hook with just a whip? I'm just getting started with you."

✧. KUCHIKI BYAKUYA — HANDS

Just to stare at him in awe while he takes your hands in his in the intimacy of your bedroom feels like a dream. He has a scorching obsession for your hands, so tiny compared to his.

But to have one of his thumbs stroke soothing circles on the back of your nape while your fingers grab the base of his girth to guide it deep inside you? To moan softly with him when your chest collides with his, thighs pressed on either side of his, at the feeling of it caressing your walls?

You're so tight around him that to accommodate every inch of his draws a breathless string of whimpers out of both.

Everyone is well accustomed with Byakuya's calm manners, with his gray eyes analysing every fraction of their surroundings. And what about the fact he has no desire to be physical with no one but his loved ones?

His true colors escape many souls, except yours.

His resolve to be as collected and serene as possible with you is always wiped out by your touch on him. One brush, and the Captain crumbles, his love scattering and flying around you like a cherry blossoms' storm.

"Easy, my petal. Take your time. I'm in no rush today." a little smile tugs at his lips, but it's nothing compared to what he's truly feeling. To seethe with affection, to be kissed by the intense kiss of adoration... all because of you.

What Byakuya is unaware of yet, however, is that you're also deeply enamoured of his strong grip on you. The moment your ass finally meets the warmth of his thighs, you let out a sated giggle and look at the man under you while you push his hands upward to rest on your butt. Stars dance in the corner of your eyes.

"Y-yes." you stutter, so focused on gaping at his gorgeous face that you almost forget what you're doing.

Byakuya makes sure to remind you that, and his taut muscles under you tense when he shifts position to straighten his back. Now with his shoulders flush against the headboard, the Captain starts to push his hips upward to meet yours in earnest. A whimper even escapes him as you crush your forehead against his, kissing him to steady yourself as he picks up the rhythm.

He's losing his decorum. Again.

Kuchiki Byakuya has you chanting his name pretty soon as he keeps fucking you from under, and you come undone around him just as quick. He lets you make a mess of the sheets — he cares little about such trivial things — and helps you ride out your high with heart-shaped eyes. So, so pretty.

He's a goner, and it doesn't take long for him to join you in the bliss of the moment.

Half an hour later, you are both in the bathtub. You love to have a nice bath before bedtime (the innocent one) and the head of the Kuchiki clan loves to indulge every little habit of yours.

You carry the scent of cherry blossoms in your hair when you lean forward Byakuya, eyes sparkling with love when you tuck a strand of his long, wet hair behind the ear.

Your touch sends electricity down his spine, and before you know it he has scooped you in his arms, giggles filling the air as he places you on the bed to kiss you gently.

Being his lover is the greatest gift you could ever receive, and for you to give yourself completely to Byakuya speaks of unconditional love he treasures as his most most beloved treasure.

✧. BONUS — ANAL SEX

Little reminder: these men love, love being physical with you and sometimes, a few of them will push you over the edge. To almost destroy your every bit out of lust and love, including your ass.

It's theirs to worship, and some of them includes the likes of: Kenpachi Zaraki, who'd take you from behind while his big, strong palms of his hands impact against your ass, spanking you until the skin cracks open and you're nothing but a mess of trembling limbs, sweat and incoherent moans under him. His cock fills you to the brim every single time he's inside you, but to be so full that you beg for him to spread your ass cheeks further for him to ram himself into you deeper is new. And Zaraki enjoys every second of it.

And what about Bazz-B? This troublemaker is always pointing his fingers at others. Man, he does it for a living.

So imagine his surprise when you bring up the wet dream you had about him and that specific scenario. As you talk, you can literally see the gears in his brain spin and bang against his skull.

The Quincy has you on all fours in a second, and his first finger is already prodding your other entrance when he adds the second one. Years of training and use of his abilities left a trail of calluses on them and they press against you as you try to turn, but his other hand grab a fistful of your hair to push your face flat against the mattress.

"You gotta be a good girl and take the heat for me, hm? Come on, I know you can", he whispers and a string of spit trails down his lips and onto his fingertips.

Occasionally, Muguruma Kensei would enjoy it, but only if he's in the mood. You'd have to talk him into it through and through, since he gets annoyed easily by situations he hasn't complete control over. But a few strokes of your fingers around the '69' tattoo on his chest do the trick, and the man flips you over to slip his tongue in the tight ring of muscles above your pussy. It's gushing, your arousal dripping onto the sheets as your whimpers caress Kensei's ears. Oh, and if he feels like going the extra mile, he'd also press a thumb on your clit as he eases himself in you. Overwhelmed by the new angle, you both look at each other. It's hunger, what you see in his gaze, and he groans in your neck just as hungrily as you swallow his dick deep into you with every deep thrust he gives you, ready to stop at the first sign of distress.

But once you relax and he gets the gist of it all, he'll be the happiest man ever.

tags! — @aiztoru @burnishedcrown @stygianoir @romiyaro

#aizen sousuke #aizen x reader #bleach smut #bleach headcanons #szayel aporro granz #szayel x reader #byakuya kuchiki #byakuya x reader #kenpachi zaraki #kenpachi x reader #bazzard black #kensei muguruma #kensei x reader #voice of cassandra

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bbq-potato-chip · 5 months

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its sadboy loserman hours at bbqpotatochip.com

#this LOSER thinks that he's emotionless even though hes DOWN BAD for the nicest girl in the world. cringe. i would be so embarrassed #augh...#ulquiorraposting #bleach #ulquiorra cifer #i just think he's neat #anyway. drew these yesterday n forgot 2 post. oops

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green-apple-juice · 4 months

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The fact that both Ichigo and Orihime have shown kindness, sympathy, and understanding towards their enemies will never be a solid reason for me to treat these relationships as something special and unique and, therefore, become attached to them. Because their kind attitude isn't something limited only to the "chosen ones", it's their nature that they cannot hide and suppress, even if they've tried to.

Ichigo decided to heal wounded Ikkaku, and he didn't finish Grimmjow, who had tried to kill him and his friends multiple times.

When he fought Candice, he warned her that she should dodge his attack because he knew it would probably be lethal to her.

Why? She was a total stranger to him, an enemy from Quincy army participating in the destruction of Seiretei. He saw her standing above badly injured Zaraki, and he still acted carefully with her. Ichigo never faces criticism for being "too kind, naive, and stupid" like Orihime does, but his actions indicate that kindness is deeply rooted in him, it's like an instinct.

With Orihime, it always feels very weird to me hearing how people call her a traitor who was ungrateful to Ichigo when she said to Ulquiorra that she isn't afraid of him. Ichigo probably understood her better than anyone. I'm sure that he also wouldn't refuse to show an ounce of empathy to a person who was literally dying in front of him. And Orihime is the same character who cried because she saw some nameless shinigamis being killed, even though they were also her enemies in SS arc. .

It would be very strange for her to react differently in "The Lust" arc. That's just who she is—a kind girl who endured too much violence since the day she was born but still wasn't capable of becoming bitter and full of hatred towards other people, even when they fully deserved it.

#ichihime #ichigo kurosaki #orihime inoue #pro orihime #pro ichihime #bleach

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skullywullypully · 2 years

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They can't take her anywhere 😮‍💨

#Bleach #orihime inoue #grimmjow jaegerjaquez #ulquiorra cifer #Here we have two death machines #and girl with god-like powers that likes to eat bread #bleach memes #We love you Orihime

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brittscafe · 1 year

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now just imagine, Espada plus Aizen and someone walking in on them getting the craziest head ever or just having sex with reader. if you do do this lol, can i get both Soul Society, and Hueco Mundo Aizen? If not then just Hueco Mundo💗

ohhh yesss I love this idea! <3

Soul Society Aizen: Sinful. What you were doing was beyond sinful, but it brought you both so much pleasure. Steam was fogging up in his glasses because of the sudden humidity and hotness forming in the room.

One of Aizen's hand was steady on your thigh as his tongue was exploring your insides. His free hand was pressing down on your clit, making your hips buck.

Your hands run through his soft, brown hair and you slightly tug on it.

"Ah, Aizen," you moan out, squeezing your thighs around his head. A smirk tugs on his face from the tight squeezing

"Hey, now just out of curiosity-" a voice starts speaking as the door slides open to Aizen's private room. Your heart drops and you practically freeze as your eyes shoot over to Izuru.

Luckily for you, Aizen had his captain's cloak hanging off his shoulders. He quickly covers your bare body with his white cloak and clears his throat, glancing over at Izuru.

Your cheeks burn as you snuggle into the cloak, filled with embarrassment.

"I-um...will go find curiosity somewhere else," Izuru stumbles over his words, practically sprinting out of the room.

Hueco Mundo Aizen: The sounds of loud moans and skin slapping echoes throughout the room. Aizen cock rams in and out of your cunt from behind you.

Heavy breathes leave Aizen's lips as he places his hands on your hips, steadying you. You clench your fists and your entire body shudders at the insane pleasure Aizen's giving you.

You clench your cunt around his cock and Aizen groans loudly. His hand trails down your spine and wraps his fingers around your hair. A gasp leaves your lips as he tugs on your hair and you roll your hips against his.

"Are you gonna be a good girl and cum for me?" Aizen asks as you glance back at him.

"Yes, Aizen," you reply, out of breath and struggling to keep your ass up in the air.

The door swings open and Ulquiorra pokes his head inside. Your stomach twists into uneasy knots and you quickly gaze the other way.

"Yes, Ulquiorra?" Aizen asks between pants, not taking his eyes off of you as he continues to thrust in and out of you, his balls slapping against your ass.

"I can see that you're busy. I will come back later," Ulquiorra explains, walking out expressionless. You open your mouth to say something, but Aizen's cock presses up against your g-spot and instead you release.

"Aizen!" you cry out, your cum spills out onto his cock as his thrusts become sloppy on the edge of his own release. Whimpers leave your lips as Aizen digs his fingers into your waist until his knuckles turn white.

"Fuck," Aizen groans out underneath his breath, pushing his cock as deep inside of you as he could. His hot cum spills inside of you, filling you up to the brim as you both pant heavily.

Aizen's arm wraps underneath your lower stomach, steadying you as he slides out.

"You couldn't have stopped when Ulquiorra came in?" you breath heavily, resting your head on the bed.

"No, he's clueless. I'm not done with you yet though," Aizen whispers, sending a chill down your spine.

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