#give me comfort or give me death

[grongle9001]

I'm working on an animatic.........................,. Uh hopefully I'll finish it this time

@eternalglitch no comfort? [no bitches emoji but with green instead]

#lfls #lfls green #lfls Donnie #lfls fanart #rottmnt fanart #rottmnt #is this spoilers #maybe #lfls spoilers #DOESNT hurt to be careful #like father like son #comfort #give me comfort or give me death #wait no I take that back #ETERNAL NO DEATH #huginn and Muninn better be okay #my art #fanart #digital art #head bonk #sleepy...

[valfeathers]

oh lawd he comin.png

#beyond birthday #death note #death note fanart #ok NOW the procreate is pro creating #ive found brushes that do the V Style Things #test driving new equipment gives me the perfect excuse to draw #my uncomfort comfort character #death note another note #b death note #v’s gallery #procreate

[laniakea314]

How to break a fandom’s heart with one picture:

#GOs2 experience was like reading a fluffy slow-burn fanfic but you missed a tag and it suddenly slaps you with hurt/no comfort #ineffable divorce #renew good omens #give me s3 or give me death #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #good omens 2 #michael sheen #david tennant #neil gaiman #go2 spoilers #aziracrow

[luuxxart]

let’s go down to the tennis court and talk it out like yeah

#i know it is. hard to see with the blur but those are top scars on the bottom right #give me t4t shuake or give me death #persona 5 #goro akechi #akira kurusu #shuake #akeshu #tennis au #not that it’s an au but I do have more tennis posts I want to make #sorry i know Wimbledon is over but I MISSED IT and this is how I make up for it #these were a bunch of figure studies I just turned into shuake #yeah i know Akechi’s hair should not be that long but it’s more fun if it is #maybe It’s extensions lmao #akechi is absolutely a left hander when he wants to be and he will mess u up bad #he also whips out the wooden racquet when he wants to flex #Akira’s new to tennis but he catches on quick #they also play with ryuji and haru #i think Ann and Yusuke would enjoy watching but don’t like playing #akechi has probably played since he was very young hence feeling more comfortable in the skirt than shorts #safety shorts are always important tho #anyway persona 5 tennis mementos open when #tw scars #NO BECAUSE I JUST NOTICED I MISCOLORED AKECHIS ARM AT SOME POINT I WANT TO D13

[bonefall]

longtime dc fan and i think a lot of people are angry because alex is obviously one of the most culturally relevant instances of misogyny in media. that being said being more culturally relevant doesn’t mean it’s the worst instance of misogyny and i think bumble definitely experiences more profound misogyny in the way the actual content is presented, if that makes sense

I get you, and that's a charitable way of looking at it.

I think what's rustling my jimmies is that like, there was a couple of WC fans being mildly dismissive of Alex in that note minefield, after dozens of comments of "fuck you how could you let the fridge woman lose" and "Bumble didn't deserve to win ANY rounds" and "how could A CAT experience misogyny." But then WE get blamed for the toxicity because THEY were butthurt that the Funny Cat People have the 'audacity' to win something they feel entitled to.

Like, we've gotta be endlessly charitable as we get openly insulted because they're upset about Alex losing, a very well-known and culturally relevant character with a legacy so massive we have a whole term named after her. But condemnations of "She's just a cat, letting WC into this poll was a mistake, Bumble can't even be a victim of misogyny" only started coming around once I started talking about it.

as if it's OUR fault people got passive-aggressive or even OPENLY aggressive towards us, and that we're "just as bad" for retaliating

But like you said, it's not a "Most Culturally Relevant Misogyny" tournament, it's a "Canon Misogyny Victims" tournament. And you're not even supposed to give a shit that Bumble died. The fat, woman abuse victim is beaten to death by a dictator, and your takeaway is meant to be, "It's so sad that Clear Sky is being blamed for murdering her, now they're all preparing for self-defense against a homicidal maniac, oh nooo :("

And I think that DOES make her deserve the win here! Alex is a MARTYR. Everyone with a brain agrees what happens to her is bad. It happened in her canon because it was bad. We talk about her and keep her memory alive. Bumble gets dismissed entirely out of hand because she's "just a cat in a kid's book" as if that doesn't make it worse, and as if the kid's book didn't treat a domestic abuse survivor like a moron for even asking for help.

Anyway, just to reiterate, I love DC fans. It's not all of you guys. Alex was done dirty and deserves justice-- and it's even kind of a shame that all she became is "The Fridge Woman." I haven't even heard people talk about how she was a wary, responsible person who was still ready to rock with Kyle's new weird glowstick powers, or that she was a journalist, or that she just got brought back in another edition as a Green Lantern only to be revealed as an illusion and re-absorbed back into Kyle's mind. Nope. Even her fans just remember her as The Fridge Woman.

#She wasn't even ONLY brought back as a green lantern btw she also came back as.... #full disclosure I'm not a DC fan this is from My Best Friend + Wiki Education #...as a cool ass evil zombie black lantern #Only for Kyle to have to put her down like Old Yeller #Because he can't handle her Zomgirl Swag #How cunty of me would it be actually if. IF. Bumble sweeps the whole tournament and I go back and write whole essays for-- #how each one of her opponents were worthy adversaries and explain exactly how deep the misogyny of canon went against them #Bones ''King of Women Appreciation'' Fall #Especially Chichi actually. If it had been Alex vs Chichi I would have gone to bat for Chichi. #Chichi was done dirtier than Alex. And also I would go PRETTY hard for my girl Android 18 #And ACTUALLY? One of the WORST victims of DB's misogyny? Don't @ me? Gine. Goku's mom #Behold my race of evil monkey space soldiers and how their violent nature has been exploited by a galactic capitalist dictator #Look at how in-depth I go to suggest them overcoming their battle-centric nature and show how in a different context this can be-- #--applied for heroic ends #Watch the death of my main character's father and show how his last thought was comforted only by visions of how his son would one day-- #overcome the dictator and avenge his death #Only for that to have been subverted because Goku didn't actually give a shit about revenge. Frieza simply threatened his friends. #NEVERMIND!! HIS MOM COULDN'T HAVE BEEN BLOODTHIRSTY BECAUSE SHE'S WOMAN #HOW CAN YOU FEEL BAD FOR THE DEATH OF A WOMAN. A WHOLE PLANET. IF HER HUSBAND DOESN'T LOVE HER AND SHE ISN'T A PERFECT LOVING MOTHER #SHUT UP SHUT UP. GINE KILL THIS MAN #10000 GUNS IN GINE'S HANDS #ouuugh and her husband saved her sooo many times on their expeditions because she sucks and thats why they fell in love :) PERISH. DIE #BAD TORIYAMA. BAD. #JAIL FOR TORIYAMA 10000 YEARS #And Saiyans apparently didn't even really develop romantic bonds between mates but nuuuuh #Gotta have these two be a perfect husbandwife pair with their little nuclear family #Anyway. Aromantic Vegeta with Bulma as QPR partner and coparent be upon ye #stop teasing me by retconning romantic feelings into ur aromantic alien species to ship them im a shaking chihuahua. #also ur all lucky we're not going to be facing Sakura in the next round guys #Sakura is my fucking white whale

[simplepotatofarmer]

so my grandma died thirty minutes ago. i feel really out of it and helpless because i'm not there and i can't be there. i don't know what to do. i'm sorry.

#loyal talks about stuff and things #death cw #i'm struggling #i think i'm going to try to write rivals #it's kinda the only thing that's giving me comfort #because it's night and i can't hold a chicken

[simptasia]

my mum died last night

#i was with her. i spoke comforting words to her as her breathing slowed #she didn't suffer - she wasn't in any pain. she heard me and became slower and slower then i... saw her die #i never predicted i'd be there at the moment of death #it was her time. her body had been slowly shutting down the last three days and she'd been officially dying for 5 months #she was so strong. she was hanging on for me. needing to know i'd be able to survive with her gone #once it was clear that things were gonna be fine (besides the emotional toll) she started to truly let go #i've been with her whenever i could be the last three days. and night nurses watched her as i slept #last nights nurse woke me to be with her in her final moments #besides hearing me talk the last few days - i was also running star trek for her to listen to #she couldn't communicate or move but we all knew she was aware of things around her #i gave her words of reassurance and comfort and the last words she heard me say were ''i love you'' #and three days ago before she lost the ability to speak the last words she managed were ''i love you'' #so things went as well as they could be considering the situation #she died a little over 12 hours ago. it was 7 hours before they could take the body away. that was. haunting #it's been a rough day. worst day of my life. but mum is at peace now. and i have a lot of kind people to support me #everything will be okay eventually and i have my whole life ahead of me and mum wants that life to be good #so i musn't give up. now matter how depressed i feel

[sammy8d257]

Y'all I look away for 2 days and I come back and everything's on fire

asldkjlsgs

Are you guys okay??

#Sammy8D says #I have a vague idea about what's going on in the AvA fandom at the moment #shoutout to one of my close mutuals for informing me #Something something stick figure ages something something #My brain is too fried from working to comprehend anything #but death of the author and all that jazz #As a young adult I feel more comfortable writing and creating content for characters that are also adults (18+ years old) #Plus I already have my own headcanons on how Stick Figure Ages work that I spent days thinking about logisitically #You think I'm gonna give that up just because Alan said something off the top of his head? #Sammy8D Stick Stuff

[justarandomlambblog]

Morning Twilight

He is meditating.

It’s the first thing they notice as they step out of the hut they share with their siblings; their brother, beloved as he was once feared, sits in the field in the early morning twilight, legs crossed and hands resting on his knees. 

It’s improper posture for proper meditation, but Shamura supposes that doesn’t matter now.

His back is to the village, knowing well that the greatest threat to his safety comes from beyond the trees, and what little they can see of his face is obscured by his veil, but Shamura imagines that his eyes are closed.

They consider their options for a moment; it is too early for anyone other than the Lamb, the night guards and that day’s designated kitchen staff to be awake, and Narinder himself often stays in his hut until well into the day, when he is certain he won’t need to face his once-siblings. 

If Narinder is out this early, it means one thing; Aym and Baal are with their mother and Narinder could not sleep.

Making their decision, Shamura folds their hands under their robes and approaches their brother.

Narinder’s ear twitches as they sit next to him, and he makes no complaint. It’s as close to an invitation as he’ll willingly give.

(Shamura remembers, in fragments, a kit standing in their library, wide eyes bright with curiosity and excitement. A moment that, at the time, had felt so innocent, so normal- of course Shamura would share their library, their knowledge, with their younger brother. It’s a choice Shamura often regrets; would things have been different, they wonder, had they listened to the Elders and discouraged Narinder from learning? If their brother had only read the books on his own domain- had he learned only what he needed to know, would anything have changed at all?)

Shamura closes their eyes, breathing out steadily. Blood drips down their face, the injury just as fresh as the day Narinder gave it to them.

“You should have changed your bandages first,” Narinder says lowly, voice oddly soft. 

“I am no stranger to blood, brother,” they answer simply. “No, no stranger to blood... this has been our lives for a millennium now. I am no stranger to blood.”

There’s no answer, and they continue to sit in silence as the sun slowly rises above the treeline. Behind them Shamura can hear window shutters starting to open as the early risers of the village begin their day.

“... I apologize for what I did to you,” Narinder says, voice hardly more than a whisper, but his words echo in Shamura’s ears. They open their eyes and glance at Narinder, finding his two eyes still closed but his third cracked open, gazing in their direction. “I was angry and lost control of myself. It is no excuse. I have lived every day for a thousand years regretting it.”

Shamura takes a moment to collect their thoughts, clinging to this moment almost desperately. Memories, they find, are hard to hold onto, but they don’t want to forget this. “Why?” they ask, closing their eyes again. “You did what you had to in order to escape. Who can fault one for that? Any of us would have done the same.”

“... You did not forget me,” Narinder says, as if it explains everything. “You thought of me. I could feel your grief every day. And you gave me Aym and Baal.”

“... I did not want you to be alone.”

Its a confession they vaguely remember telling the Lamb, but words they have never told Narinder himself. Of course, they hadn’t ever visited Narinder in that between place before; the Afterlife is not a place for the living, after all, and until Shamura was slain they had no right to walk into that blinding light.

(They don’t remember what it was like, being dead. They would think it a relief, a mercy, if they didn’t know how much care their brother put into shaping the worlds for every soul that passed through his gates. Curiosity, after all, is what drives discovery, and discovery creates knowledge; and curiosity, as such, burns inside them, wondering about what After world their brother would have given them to.)

“Thank you,” Narinder says softly, and Shamura doesn’t respond. They don’t need to.

“... I apologize, as well,” Shamura says instead. Narinder tenses next to them as they continue, “The prophecy we received did not need to come true. It was merely a self fulfilling prophecy; in our attempts to stop it from coming to be, we simply set the act in motion. From the moment we fought over your ideas, we were already lost.

“Only, instead of being lost as a family, we lost it all.” They open their eyes and turn to look at Narinder, only to find him looking back at them. “We said that death is unchangeable, but how could we make judgment over your domain? Perhaps it was not your ideas we feared, but change itself.”

Shamura looks out over the fields as the first of the farmers begin their morning tending, the roots and vegetables not quite ready to be picked. It’s quiet, the kind of quiet that Shamura is no longer used to.

“Perhaps the world was ready to change,” they finish.

There is silence for only a few moments, and then Narinder laughs- something deep and quiet, not really amused. It’s the kind of laugh one laughs when something tragically ironic occurs, when one laughs because the only alternative is to cry.

He turns away.

“The irony,” Narinder starts softly, “is now that I live among the realization of my plans, I am finding it... lacking.”

“How so?” Shamura asks.

“It appears that, with the absence of permanent death, the living have lost value for life,” Narinder explains simply, finally folding his hands in front of himself. “Without an end, life ceases to be precious. My gates are never empty of souls, for the false idol only holds onto those under their care, yet just this night alone I have seen what the living will do when they do not fear the permanence of death.”

“Perhaps one day you can find beauty in that. It is what you wanted all those years ago.”

“But not like this,” Narinder says. “Resurrection was not meant to be used so frivolously. Death was never meant to be avoided completely. There are worlds beyond my gates for every one of these souls, sitting empty now. Perhaps the resurrected would prefer to be there- but how would they know? They are not like you or the other Bishops, nor like Aym and Baal or even the false idol. They cannot remember After.”

Shamura refrains from stating that they do not either; hours, at length, spoken with Heket, Leshy and Kallamar have all but confirmed that they couldn’t remember the world that Narinder had carved out for them, either.

(Or maybe they lie and just don’t want to remember.)

“Yet, I suppose you are correct,” Narinder gives. “This is ultimately how resurrection would always go. The living fear what they do not know, and no matter how many sermons are given, they will always fear the After. This is how it always would have ended. I should have listened to you.”

“Perhaps we should have all listened to each other,” Shamura compromises, unfolding their lower hands. They set one on Narinder’s shoulder and ignore the flinch he gives. “Perhaps we should have had a conversation, rather than a screaming match?”

Narinder relaxes, leaning into Shamura’s touch, and Shamura is reminded that he likely hasn’t been touched in a thousand years. Sure, they know, he likely held Aym and Baal when they were confused and scared kits in need of guidance still, but a giant would hardly even feel the touch of an ant.

They pretend not to notice, for his pride’s sake.

“I must take my leave now,” Shamura says. “I am meant to be helping with breakfast.”

“Go, then.” Narinder hesitates as Shamura stands, then adds, “Thank you for sitting with me. I...”

I missed this, are the words he doesn’t say. Shamura hears them anyway.

“I feel the same,” Shamura says, smiling at him. “We should speak more often. I have missed you, brother.”

With those words, Shamura turns and walks towards the kitchen. They trace over every word that was spoken, repeating the scene over and over again.

They don’t want to forget it.

#cult of the lamb #CotL AU #Death's Beck and Call AU #<- workshop AU name #Narinder #Shamura #Justa Writes #Another 3 AM post? Welp. Please excuse any mistakes I had to write this down #I was trying to give them more formal speaking patterns to kind of emphasize that they are old mfers #and also not 100% comfortable together #anyway Narinder realizing his dreams/ideas weren't as great as he thought they were #and Shamura realizing they aren't as bad as they thought they were #me wanting to write family feels let me live- #did I mention this AU is mostly hurt/comfort #bc ye #also Narinder is touch starved

[drawotion]

This is Remu, our sweet pup who was put to sleep today, 8th of April 2024... The procedure went smoothly, he almost got to the age of full 11 years. This summer it would have been his 11th birthday.

In memory of him, let me tell you about how our little rascal was like. This is going to be a long post so buckle up. I'll put more pics in at the end.

He was a rescue dog, he came to me and my mom through my oldest big brother around year 2018. He was around 5 years old back then and he was born during summer, what I heard from my brother is that the pup was super skinny when he first got Remu.

Remu was an absolute lap dog, he loved being on our laps and in our holds. Loved sleeping next to us. ((He was like little heater! Very warm hahahh)) Sometimes when we would do stuff around the house he had to be with us on the thing!

For example if I was sitting on the floor and moving plants to new pots or I was cleaning my pet bugs little habitats, it was guaranteed he would be on my lap. And he would always be listening what we're doing.

Oh he was one stubborn and clever fella, there is a reason why I call him a rascal! Of course in the most loving way possible. He was like a big dog in small dog's body. His barks were LOUD.

He wasn't that trusting at first and god forbid if you touched his paws and tried to bath him, or even reached out to him in certain way! Face was off limits. So it was heartwarming how over time he came to trust me. So much so I could do almost anything with him, it got to the point where he let me even rub my finger between his eyes and wipe his cute little snoot if there was something.

Oh any visitor would still get bunch of barks and growls! Never biting tho, but he would let you know that hey, this is his turf! His home! Would even start barking even if he heard my younger old brother through phone. (He still got onto brother's lap and all, pfft) It was kind of silly to see how little mohawk would rise on his back.

Like a true summer dog, he loved basking under the warm & hot sun. I think his belly even got tanned because of this. (Oh Remu, you silly.)

And goodness did he love to run when able to during our walks.

Gosh, let me tell you, whenever he would greet another dog his ears got so high up it looked like he had bunny ears! Adorable.

And his adorable little hop running when inside... It's a shame I never got it on video, but it was silly fun and cute thing he did.

Oh he would do this thing though where he would whine and paw at bed/floor as if he wouldn't be able to get off our beds! (mattresses on the floor btw.) He was fully capable of getting off and all, he just decided to turn dramatic if we were observing him.

Another dramatic thing he did was flip over a bowl when asking for food. Even start rolling up the blanket on his own bed and oh, so vocal. He was a vocal pup.

He never seemed that interested in toys, only playing with them when we prompted him and played with him with them. Eventually his favorite type of play would turn out to be chasing hand under the blanket and and also digging at our blankets while I scratch his head.

Hahh, he sometimes would playfully try to get at our feet, mostly during feeding time. Such a silly pupper.

All in all, he was a lovable silly rascal and one heck of a cuddly dog.

I'll forever miss him, and I am happy he was in our lives, even if I was hesitant to take him in at first. I am so thankful I was able to be there with him and for him on his last moments, when I wasn't able to for our previous pet so many years ago.

Now... May you run a lot, buddy. Run lots and lots… To your heart's content. Get all the treats you so love, till your belly is full.

I love you, Remu.

#Remu #pet death #long post #in memory of pet #this is not all the pictures I have of him and I plan on putting up the couple videos I do have of him #but that is later #god I'm still crying here and there #been crying a lot today and I still am #it comes in waves #but at the same time I feel odd sense of calm #maybe it's because I had time to prepare for this #and that I was able to be there for him in the end #and the thought of knowing he isn't suffering and knowing I will always miss him #it... gives me comfort #I know I'll be okay #even while it wrenches my heart and mind now #I'll be okay... I'll look back on his memories with joy #and I'll happily tell about him and how he was like #I'll miss you buddy #now run! run my little bud #run as much as your little legs let you soar across everything #may we meet again some other time some other place #I love you #soak in those warm sunshines for me okay? #my sweet darling little Remu #goodbye for now you silly little rascal you #sleep

[starbuck]

I’ve seen some OFMD Takes that equate Stede and Ed’s softness and boil it down to an anti-toxic masculinity thing and an uncomplicated moral good, but I feel like doing that misses a lot of nuance by ignoring the role that class plays in their stories.

Stede does face negative repercussions for being ‘soft,’ for failing to measure up to the ideal of masculinity enforced by civilization, but only social consequences. And that’s not to say those consequences don’t matter; it’s terrible that his father was emotionally abusive, that he was bullied by his peers, that he felt alienated from his family. However, nobody was going to repossess his house because he wasn’t performing masculinity up to their standards. He was never going to have to worry about where his next meal would come from because of it.

Further, Stede has the privilege to walk away whenever he feels like it. He can “upend his entire comfortable life to become a pirate” and then “un-abandon [it] on a whim” and STILL face no economic consequences for any of it.

Ed, meanwhile, cannot just walk away from being Blackbeard because his legend is his only source of income. He can’t simply choose to stop being a pirate and be soft instead because, for him, the consequence of failing to perform the ideal of masculinity is death. In a fair and equal world, Ed would be able to wear all the silk robes and throw all the talent shows he wanted to, but that is not the world he lives in.

Piracy was supposed to be his escape from poverty, but all it’s managed to do is allow him to stave it off, and become a prison unto itself in the process. Ed is trapped, not by toxic masculinity, but by economic desperation. No matter how hard he tries, he’s still not one of “those kind of people” and he never will be. That’s the symbolism of him throwing the red silk away at the end of ep 10: the acceptance that “you wear fine things well” was only ever a dream for him and that dream is now dead.

#our flag means death #ofmd #which is why i DO think there’s an argument to be made that Stede ‘ruined’ Ed - just not in the way he thinks #but by giving him a taste of what a truly comfortable life is like and then ripping that away from him #leaving Ed not just dissatisfied with his life as Blackbeard but fucking MISERABLE in it #which was not Stede’s intention of course but it is What Happened - from Ed’s perspective anyway #and that element cannot be separated from his heartbreak over Stede’s leaving him - they’re one in the same #which is not me saying that Ed only loved Stede because of his money - that would be ridiculous #but at the same time - pretty much everything that originally fascinated Ed about Stede is related to Stede’s privilege #INCLUDING his softness! #which isn’t to say that softness is bad - only that moralizing it misses the point #misses it in the exact same way that Ed does in declaring himself a monster for the things desperation drove him to do #it’s just not that simple #in a show where the very first episode reminds you that no one except Stede is a pirate because they want to be - it’s not that simple #and - with that in mind - i would not be at all surprised if Ed’s first reaction to hearing that Stede gave up his fortune to return to #piracy isn’t ‘gosh how romantic’ but ‘ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE???? DO YOU THINK THAT *I* WOULD STILL BE A PIRATE IF I HAD ANY OTHER CHOICE??’ #and that is a valid reaction

[sysig]

I hope you blink before I do (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #DAX #Blood #Fuck you *reinjects romance into your song about love-lost* #It's the ''I want to be the one to lay you to rest'' of it all #Or if not that then at least to be the last one suffering #See him off - make sure he goes knowing that he's not alone #I'm Fine just Don't Look at me and I'll Be Fine #Schrödinger's Fine lol - I am simultaneously Fine and Not Fine until I am observed #I simply subsist largely off of angst and then whatever small scrap of comfort that can be coaxed from there hehe #I am very mean to them considering how much I want them to be happy lol #Honestly I think what would be meaner is seeing ZEX off and then somehow DAX survives alone #Night ends just as he's about to blink out and oops you're still stuck here sorry about that <3 #But I wouldn't do that to them would I? #:3c #I also think it's interesting that I started doodling this before I actually read ZEX's death - I finished it after but still! #Does he just give off gutted vibes? Canonically he's eviscerated so #And not just in the eye way - in this case it's enucleation #Did you come here for eye removal surgery puns? I don't see why you'd expect anything different *b'dm tss* #I've done way more research on eye removal than I ever expected to but now those two terms will be forever seared into my mind haha #Hhh ZEX's death was very affecting to me ;; I'll talk about it more with its accompanying doodle but really 💔 #I wanted an honourable death for him - and if not that then a death where he wasn't alone - and if not that then to rest #He got one of the three ;;

[cavinginhisfvce]

'Unlovable"

Pairing: Harringrove. Fem!Billy x Steve Harrington.

Angst. Miscommunication. Conflict resolution. Unplanned Pregnancy. Mentions of abortion.

This started as a hc post, but quickly spiraled into this mess.

Fem!Billy who believes the fleeting attention of men twice her age is the only way she'll experience love in this lifetime. Even if it's just a little glimpse of love that comes from red knees and bruised wrists, she counts that as a win. 

She knows, realistically, that this isn't love. Not the kind that they sing songs about. Not the kind where you want to shout it from the rooftops.

Love was never meant for girls like her. She's too loud, too aggressive, too much like herself. Not enough like the soft girls. Soft girls like Nancy Wheeler, whose smile is like the sun and the waves wrapped up in a pretty little bow.

Even when Nancy shows her rough edges, she's praised for the strength she harbors. 

When Billy shows her rough edges, the kind that you develop from years of mistreatment, and abuse, she gets called disgusting. 

She hears her father shouting in her face that she's an unlovable whore, like her mother. 

She hears Steve telling her she's too abrasive to be anything but a hidden thing. She hears him whispering Nancy's name in place of her own.

It hurts, like nothing she's ever experienced. 

But, Steve calls her every night. Steve seeks her out, and not Nancy. 

To Billy, it feels better than random men who don't care when it hurts. Who ignores her soft sobs of displeasure in favor of getting off. 

Because, despite Steve wishing she was Nancy, he always makes her feel good. Always makes sure she's comfortable and enjoying herself. 

It's a win. A luxury that Billy isn't stupid enough to give up.

He always kisses away her tears, ones born of passion, rather than pain. He treats her like he well and truly loves her. Even if he calls her by the wrong name. Even if he wishes she was someone she'll never be.

The day he utters 'Billy' as he finishes inside of her, is coincidentally a week after she found out she was carrying his child. Two days after she made the appointment to terminate the pregnancy. 

She isn't stupid enough to have a baby with a man who doesn't want her. She was proof that children bred of obligation and expectations, instead of love, grow up differently than those born from parents who love each other. Parents who would protect and cherish the child they share.

Steve, unlike previous times, doesn't immediately pull out, instead he thrusts into her once more and leans down. He presses a kiss to her neck, mumbling so softly Billy could've missed it. 

"I'm tired of pretending you're Nancy. Tired of pretending I don't want you, Billy." He pauses, trailing off. Billy thinks maybe he's done speaking, but again, he's whispering against her warm, flushed skin. "Please keep the baby…" 

Billy startles at that, her eyes widening. She wants to shove him away, demand what right he thinks has to tell her what to do with her body. 

But, she does neither. Because her brain can't focus beyond the fact that he knows. 

He knows and she didn't tell him. She didn't tell anyone.

"How'd you find out?" Her voice is so soft, it barely registers as hers to her own ears. 

Steve takes a moment to answer, his lips brushing against her shoulder as he shifts his hips.

The action reminds Billy he's still nestled inside of her. A small gasp punches its way out of her at the almost overwhelming sensation. 

"Carol volunteers at the clinic you went to during the holidays." He clamps his mouth shut, certain that Billy will tear into him. But when she doesn't, he continues, "she saw your file and sort of freaked out. Called me and chewed me out for making you get an abortion." He laughs lightly, the sound feels like a lifeline amongst Billy's impending doom.

"She didn't stop yelling until I told her I didn't even know."

Steve sniffles, and Billy finds herself wanting to card her fingers through his hair, so she does. 

He leans into the touch almost instantly. 

"I'm sorry." She doesn't need to say why, Steve knows why. He gets it. 

In truth, Billy didn't want an abortion, she's always wanted at least one child, one she could love the way she wished her mother or father loved her.

But, she also hadn't wanted to be a single, teen mom. Didn't want to do it all alone.

She tells Steve as much, the words just barely forcing themselves out of her.

Steve just peers up at her, a ghost of a smile on his lips, "we can do it together. We can be better than our parents. We'll show everyone that despite our shitty parents, we can do better. Be better."

Billy glances at him, her own lips pulling into a soft grin, "who says I want my baby to be half prep?" Steve just laughs, dropping his head down to gently nip at her shoulder blade, "if this isn't what you want, say so and I'll support you every step of the way. I'll go with you to the appointment, I'll take care of you afterwards. I'll take care of you forever. 

But, if you do want this, I promise to be the best fucking boyfriend, and father to our child." 

Billy lets out a shuddering breath, her eyes filling with unnecessary tears. They've been doing that a lot more lately. 

She nods softly, her fingers gently tugging at the strands of his hair wrapped around them, "okay, Pretty Boy. We can do this together." Billy clicks her tongue, peering at him with a mischievous glint in her bright blue eyes. "But you're telling Max, because I will not listen to her scream about becoming an aunt." 

Steve almost immediately agrees, he knows Max will chew him up much like Carol, only for a different reason, but he couldn't find it in himself to care right now. 

Instead, he dips down and claims her lips in a kiss that takes her breath away, and leaves Steve feeling a bit winded himself. 

What's left unsaid is how to break this news to Billy's father and step-mom. She knows her dad will fly off the handle. Knows he'll make a mess of things. 

But, she also knows that Steve will be by her side. She knows he'll pick up the pieces if need be.

They both know they have a lot to truly talk about, especially given the nature of their relationship before now. 

Steve, who thought Billy knew he wanted her, but was only pretending for her sake. 

And Billy, who thought Steve could never want a girl like her. Not when girls like Nancy Wheeler exist.

Fuck, they had so much to work through before their relationship would ever truly be stable, and secure, but they'd weather the storm together. 

#billy hargrove #billy antis dni #billy hargrove deserved better #billy hargrove protection squad #harringrove #steve harrington #fem!billy hargrove #give me fem!billy or give me death #alt fem!billy #harringrove angst/comfort #unplanned pregnancy #mentions of abortion #fuck neil hargrove #mentions of unhealthy relationships with older men #slightly lemon #billy not billie #fem!billy just needs love and healthy relationships #steve was stupid at first #he knows better now #at first he hooked up with her to fill the void nancy left but he quickly realized he wanted billy #but he couldnt tell her bc he thought she wouldnt want him #so in an effort to keep her in even the smallest way he kept up the facade of seeing her as Nancy #unbeknownst to the heartbreak it caused her #they'll figure it out in the end #theyre both incapable of communicating until their hand is forced #theyre made for each other tbh

[dirtytransmasc]

self indulgent got concept.

Ned brings Jon home, Cat hates the boy, everything stays the same... until Robert Baratheon is charging through the halls of Winterfell looking for the babe, ready to butcher the poor thing where he lay helpless in his cradle.

in a matter of moments Catelyn learns three things:

The babe was never a bastard, Ned had only lied to her to protect Jon, and that she would die before she let Robert lay a finger on the babe she'd previously wished death upon.

cue Catelyn Stark snatching Jon from his cradle, holding him, protecting him, loving him as she would her own son, risking it all to keep him safe, all care for herself thrown to the wind.

like they say, what a mother's love holds no bounds, and what it makes her capable of had no limits.

#listen listen listen #I just want Catelyn to love Jon Snow and I don't care what I ahve to do to make it happen #(plus the angst is delicious) #I was rewatching old kids movies and ended up watching ice age and idk why but the mom sacrificing herself for her babe gave me ideas #I just imagine young Cat holding onto the boy she hated and wished death on for being bastard (only to find out he wasn't one) as tightly- #as she could. knowing Robert and his men were coming. knowing they would slaughter the boy in front of her. knwoing she'd wished for this- #and deciding she'd give her own life to protect him if thats what it came to. #and in my mind she jumped from the window of the nursery knowing the halls will be filled with the kings men and leave little chance for- #escape. before fleeing on injured legs to hide the babe and herself knowing Robert would be right behind her. she's in agony. but she'll- #going for the babes sake. she won't stop until her heart is dead in her chest. even if it hurts to move and breath and think he keeps going #maybe she takes a horse and flees wintefell all together. maybe she hides somewhere in/around the castle. maybe Robert catches her? #if she runs with him she'd have nothing but the clothes on her back. she'd have to feed him and keep him warm. she'd have left her own son- #behind. the potential angst and hurt/comfort as Cat misses her own son and learns to love another. feeding him and keeping him warm from- #her own body while she's injured and lost and at the will of the elements of the strange new place she now considered calling home #idk I just think it'd be an interesting concept #there's something about a mother and her child being cornered by 'wolves' (in this case a stag). this has the added spice of Cat and Jon's- #dynamic. just earlier that day she could barely look at him and now she's willing to die for him. the change happened in seconds. #that was a lot of ranting in the tags. oops. anyway... #catelyn stark #jon snow #I love putting these two in harrowing. life altering. and/or traumatic situations so they can finally just be mother and son #I live for the angsty family feels #got #game of thrones #asoiaf

[transfagged]

theres something there in ed having a mental health crisis spurred on by substance abuse (namely the cocaine like.... girl) and everyone around him except stede seeing it as an inherently evil act that means he is too far gone and never deserved kindness

#ofmd #our flag means death #blackbonnet #im having THOUGHTS. thoughts abt how ed is leaning so far into the thought process of like #i will become what you say i am. if you say im horrible when i am trying to be good then what is the point in trying to be good anymore #and thoughts abt how stede who has been ridiculed his whole life and found comfort in ed bc ed showed him respect is now in turn giving that #same kindness back to ed out of love and compassion #like oh my GODi want to rip my hair out its so good #david jenkins pls like. idek man just be gentle w me im losing my mind already

[marcskywalker]

decided to ruin my day by thinking about how young randall was there in that room full of people marc killed, implying that he genuinely believes that randall's death is on his hands. and not in a distant "there must've been something I could've done to avoid it" kind of way, but it is a more direct responsibility that he feels, like "I killed him. My actions cause his death. I drowned by brother"

I think, initially, Marc must've only felt that distant responsibility but then Wendy threw accusations on him everyday for years, and there is only so much a young mind can take from a maternal figure before accepting it as fact.

So he starts questioning himself about the rest of Wendy's accusations. Was he really jealous of Randall so much? Did he hate him?

But no, he loves his brother, that much he knows to be the absolute truth. So he comes to the conclusion that there must be something deeply wrong with him, that he killed the person he loved the most.

And I think a lot of this is also reflected in Marc's relationship with Steven. He truly loves Steven, which is why he wants to stay away. He wants to protect Steven from himself, because if they get too close then Marc will kill him.

thank you for coming to my ted talk

#marc spector #moon knight #steven grant #repeat #He's trying so hard to not his mistakes #to try and be better brother. #he literally begs steven to #give me the body I won't let us die #he wants a chance to himself #redeem #next session will be about how being a big brother was a big part of how marc identified #and how randall's death took that title away from him #and he had noone or nowhere to go for comfort #basically that quote #if my brother dies am i still a brother or does that part of me die too #randall spector #meta