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#god i hope this hasnt been done yet
austiebug · 1 year
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nandor to patton oswalt after he suggests that killing guillermo is not the most reasonable course of action
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karura · 8 months
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gayest biggest breakup
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mithryl-draws · 2 years
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hello dead by daylight community
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possum-tooth · 1 year
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happy wednesday i cannot wait until friday ~9p <3
#i get to see him again 🥰🥰🥰🥰#i also took an edible a little bit ago so bear with me as i write my stream of consciousness <3#anyway hi hello hi for the the llove of god Hello how are u i love you happy wet beast wednesday to those who celebrate. i hate not seeing#him now! whats WRONG with me!!!!!! wheres the cold hearted bitch i usually am.. theyre dead and i killed it >:)#anyway also very extremely dangerous knowledge that i can stay monday nights potentially too.. like girl what the fuck is going on#like i made it back w plenty of time.. pavloving myself methinks#maybe not pavlov idk man im high idk anything. anyway i cant wait for friday bc i get to See Him aagin + we're going to [redacted]#but i havent bought a ticket yet so im a leedle scared but. itll be fine. right. tell me itll be fine#Also in a dilemma. i have a concert coming up and other dude said he wanted to go but hasnt bought a ticket bc he doesnt#know if/when he'll get a job so he doesnt wana buy it then not be able to go but how do i ask in a nonannoying way. hey are u going or not.#i need an answer and soon bc im freaking out bc if i ask my bf if he wants to go and he Can then itll be weird maybe. idk maybe not??#is it just me?? would it be weird to hang w ur bf and another person u met on a dating app??????#apparently not tho i guess bc hes done it like twice w me so. maybe not?? idk and its driving me insane anyway#good god this edible is Hitting. its been like 20 min wtf#and this was cheap shit! like $8 for a 10 pk i think! and its knocking me on my ass tf!!#anyway. happy do you wear wigs wednesday i love you and hope your week is going well <3 if youve made it this far um. congrats ily#talk tag
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dipplinduo · 2 months
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I have no idea what you have planned in your devious little mind (compliment), but i have a fluffy image that I like to HC happens after the regular DLC story and lowkey hoping itd fit after whatever the heucking angsty shenanigans youve got planned.
Basically, like right after the climax of ID but before Keiran and Carmine go have a break, ornin SSD's case sometime after Peachy-runt is booted to the moon, Keiran's out sitting out in the Terrarium. Hes feeling guilty and selfshamey, dosnt really know what to do, is just wallowing.
By coincidence, Juliana is out in the Terarium conviniently nearby, probably having a picnic bc part of this idea relys on her pokemon being out, but she hasnt noticed Kerian presence yet. Idk, hes on the other side of a small hill, he foind a lil spot where its intentionally hard to see him, hes just not in Jules' eyeline, whateber reason, she dosnt see him from where shes making sandwiches. But one of her Pokemon dose see him.
Ogerpon.
Now, I may be projecting, but after what shes been through Id suspect Ogerpon is pretty good at reading someone's emotional state based off of body language. And she get to just stare at Keiran for a while, and is able to get a better read on the kid rather than 'lowkey obsessed guy who took the answer of No poorly'.
Keiran is spaced out, trying to process everything that happened, when he feels a gentle weight on his side. Ogerpon has come up, sat down, and is leaning against his shoulder bc she recognises that this kid needs to be grounded to help fight the thoughts. Even if shes still not a fan of him, she recognises that noone should fight those kinds of things alone. So she sits with him as he starts to shed tears.
(Ok im defo projecting, but moving on,)
That scene is the main bit of fluff i like to hc, but its could also continue to Jules' other pokemon take note that Ogerpon has wandered off, sees Keiran too. And they all make their way over one by one as Jules is still making sandwiches (either shes not getting the effect she wanted and starting over, she is meticulusly placing ingredients, or is actually making enough for all of her pokemon to have one)
By the time Jules is done with the sandwich, all of her pokemon are gone (except Koridon/Miridon bc they focused on Sammich), and she finally moves and sees them all huddled around something.
She approches and gets pulled into the cuddle pile on the other side of Keiran, who is now silently crying due to overwhelm, he did not expect this level of care from her pokemon and is able to get a bit of cathartic realease rather than bottling it all up.
Im imagaining it like an animation, and it closes out with Jules taking Keirans hand and squeezing it as she leans more into his shoulder, showing her own quiet support.
God this is some good fluff, projection or no. Immaculately good.
I promise I'm gonna do ya good with end end ending/epilogue.
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hopefully-hellbound · 2 years
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Prom situations
Hope this hasnt been done before >_>
Got some inspiration and because insomnia is a bitch, i rambled about some of the npcs and how it'd go for them. Everyone is male except PC is nb
ROBIN
Absolute best boy, gets you freshly picked flowers from the garden, wears a little suit two numbers too big for him and he blushes so dark when you call him handsome. You two walk to the prom, holding hands, and you bring your own drinks because god knows what is in that punch bowl. So you two sip lemonade from bottles you keep a close eye on, dance at the edge of the dance floor, and kiss in the privacy of the janitor's closet. And if you grinded on him well enough during the dance, you don't leave the closet until the dance is almost over and a flustered River finally finds you and shooshes you home.
KYLAR
This is the guy who fainted in park when you asked him out for prom. No question. Woke up laying on the fountain's edge with his head on your thighs and thought he died and went to heaven. When he later sees you in your fanciest clothes, he still thinks so. You two arrive to school each on your own and enter together, enduring the usual mockeries that you got used of since you started hanging out with Kylar. You get bullied by Whitney as he forces you for a very gropey dance and you have no choice but oblige, since his friends threaten to shove Kylar's head in the toilet if you make a scene. They still do, even after Whitney lets you go and loses interest.
Kylar and you poison the fruit punch with laxatives and escape, deciding to spend the rest of the night watching stars, giggling and kissing in the park.
SYDNEY
Pure!Sydney picks you up with his dad as the driver, opens the doors with a joking grace and tells you how pretty you are during the short drive. The night is fun, you two hold hands and dance while leaving some respectful room betwen, and yet he blushes and averts his eyes whenever you try to get a little closer. Sirris takes a picture of you two in your outfits and Sydney is glowing, so happy he didn't panic too much and said no when you invited him. You spend the evening as best of friends until it's over and Sirris gives you a ride home. Sydney escorts you to the front door of the orphanage, and as you're saying goodnight, he suddenly closes his eyes, grabs your arm and gives you the sweetest kiss on the lips. Then he runs away before you can reply, and with a smile you can see him practically jump into the car, beat red in the face, only to get a congratulatory pat on the shoulder from his dad before they drive away. You cant wait to see him in school on Monday.
Corrupt!Sydney borrowed his dad's car, he comes pick you up himself. He's wearing a dress with quite some clevage, but he claims Sirris allowed him to wear this. Who would complain, Leighton? Please. Sydney kisses you when you enter the car and his hand is posessively on your waist when you walk to the gym where the prom is happening. You spend the evening as life of the party, Sydney gets a lot of attention twirling you around in the centre of the dance floor. Later he drags you off and the two of you hide in the swimming room, where he dares you to go skinny dip with him. It feels good, feels forbidden, and the two of you end up fucking like rabbits right in the water. You're almost caught by Winter who came there for a smoke break, but you hide just in time to manage to sneak out again, wet hair and messy clothes, and decide to go to the temple and spend the night in the prayer room. For godly reasons, of course.
WHITNEY
A dick about it. Tells you youre coming to prom with him, not asks. It's not that he's afraid of rejection, why would you even suggest that? Tells you to not wear underwear, also. You obey, and for once, Whitney is mostly without his group of friends since they're all busy trying to impress their own dates. Not that Whitney would need to impress his slut, of course. His hand is like glued to your ass the entire time you dance, he steps on your toes quite a lot and youre not quite sure it's always an accident. He drags you to behind the school and offers you a smoke for the first time, then laughs at you when you choke and cough, pats your back way too roughly. Your kisses taste like smoke that night, but for the first time, it doesn't bother you.
LEIGHTON
Oh yeah baby, we're going there. You aren't allowed to go to prom as part of a disciplinary issue, a punishment for a crime Leighton pulled out of his ass. You instead help the teachers prepare everything, which could be fun, if not for the vibrator shoved deep inside you. Leather straps on your waist and thighs hold it in you without it slipping out, its a mold of Leighton's cock and guess who has the remote for it? Every time you get too friendly with someone, even a teacher, you feel the vibrations get so severe you can barely move on your wobbly legs. You can take it for a good while, to the middle of the prom, where you collapse, right in Doren's arms. He takes you to the infirmary but you're so scared he will notice that you tell him to leave. He does, and not a minute later Leighton shows up, remote in his hand and a bastardly grin on his face. He asks if you want the real thing and you tell him that he can go fuck himself. Also, that yes.
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i love when the subject of modern au for the arcana comes up cause my only metric of judgement for it is What are you gonna do with Muriel. is he still. you know. practically homeless
cause it can be done well i believe it!! but i mean its interesting to me cause theres so many um. cultural differences i guess i can call it, and ramifications and implications and fucking more thesaurus words we get it to consider in comparing our "everyone has to have a document about *Everything*, whats your assigned number at birth, let me record you with 50 cameras at all times just in case, gimme your PapERS HOW OLD ARE YOU WHATS YOUR GRANDMAS MAIDEN NAME NO IM NOT SELLING YOU THIS CARTON OF EGGS UNTIL YOU TELL ME" society (Admittedly! not every single place in the world today is like this necessarily!!! so you can just put them someplace else and work from there!!! but youd have to know how life there actually looks like And also wait whats the point of this au if everything ends up the same lmao i wanted asra to have tiktok and work at starbucks what are we doing here) vs the old timey fantasy world presented in the game where its just "yeah sure you can go live in a forest theres no fences here lol bye dont get dysentery" which is how the world used to be i guess and thats so fun to ponder for me lol we really were just monkeys fucking about with sticks huh. good times
man this is why i dont actually write fanfics i get too lost in four different trains of thought and dont finish any of them lmao and i guess also cause of the "i Cant POSSIBLY write this story about kissing a dude if i cant describe the sociopolitical climate in this neighbourhood in the netherlands after the Batavian Rebellion and how it influenced the contemporaneous fauvistic arT MOVEMENT with UTMOST ACCURACY cause THATS WHAT HIS FAVOURITE PAINTING WAS THE ONE THAT SHOWS UP IN THIS THREE SECOND BLURRY BACKGROUND CLIP OF THIS SCENE IN HIS APARTMENT AND IS CRUCIAL TO HIS CHARACTER AND I HAVE TO NAIL IT WHAT DONT YOU GET" type personality i got going which i guess writers deal with by just going full "lol whatever i am god here and i make law" mode
i just started thinking about this cause of the new story on dorian in a modern au i got pretty hype about it teehee but yeah muriel hasnt shown up yet so i got into that whole spiral about wHERE ARE THEY GONNA PUT ME BOYE AAAGJHFN i hope he gets a good outfit lmao i love jules' vibe but i looked at asra n went aw Hell naw hed be way better dripped out you done my boy dirty cmon man. pashas hawaiian shirt tho fucking we're so back lets go lesbians hkdyyifulj Anyway they made lucio a wholeass bilionaire which had me shook a lil for some reason but i can see him as a total ~Musk-esque~ archetype lmaooo like that is literally so him, just barges in and makes people have good ideas for him gikgststnv oh god i hope theres not any elon fans reading this cause theyre not gonna appreciate that oh fudge ok lets get back to the point which was uuuuhhhhhhhhhh oh yeah i liked your muriel lives in a van concept i thought its good! yeah thats what i wanted to say. what a tumultuous journey i just had to invent to arrive here.
Oh yeah, I've been seeing a lot more posts and questions about the arcana's modern au, and it's why I was so happy to dig up all those old ask arcana posts! I'm so glad we have all that canon content from way back when, it was so sad that I could only put ten images in one post T~T
And Muriel definitely lives off the grid - I also remember another ask arcana that said in modern times he'd wear a cable knit sweater on top and leather pants and demonias on bottom and that works so well for him XD
Here's the screenshots since the links haven't been working:
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CHAPTER 14: I CANT STAND THIS ANYMORE
wc: 6054
tags: violence, attempted s/a, smut, angst, drugs
a/n: this chapter might be triggering for some people, read at your own risk.
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yaera
i havent been to one of these events since i was fifteen. that doesnt sound like a long time, but considering my sister was still alive then, it certainly felt like forever had passed.
the dress i was given is pretty at least. its black, has long sleeves and looks like it was designed for a sexy vampire. one good thing came out of this shitfest.
but the best part is, i can hide san's drugs within my outfit. im not stashing them in matching black purse because it'll get searched, but the tiny ziplock bags fit perfectly in my sleeves and boob area. this will truly be the riskiest thing ive ever done.
irina and the others even messaged me not to forget the stuff. im so focused on just getting that money the fear i had buried inside me hasnt completely resurfaced yet.
im staring at myself in the mirror, looking at my smokey eye make up. the black hair dye really gave me a morbid yet sexy aesthetic that im not bad about. if i could describe myself in two words, it would be exactly that, morbid and sexy.
the sexy part is what bothers me. i know there are people who would agree all too willingly with that. and its not my target audience.
my room door swings open and my mother walks in. theres a strange look on her face as she takes me in. we say nothing to each other for a few moments till she breaks the silence.
"bellisima," she says, almost under her breath. "we can really never go wrong with santo. he made you look like a princess, even if you look like you are going to a funeral."
my insides squirm at the mention of his name. i tried to ignore it, but the fear i felt in that bathroom is coming back full swing. im seeing him tonight. he'll be waiting for me.
"please don't do this again this year," i stiffly begged. "you need to find someone your own age Santo. I'm...I'm not the one."
santo cocks his head to the side and smirks. "and who told you that? who said you're not perfect for me?"
"i don't fucking want you," I hissed. his eyes widen slightly, more out of sick arousal instead of offense.
he advanced on me and i blinked, finding myself pressed against a stall. i whimpered and tried to wriggle out of his grip, but my arms were pinned to the side. oh my God, I'm going to be sick.
"but I want you, and you know that. so why don't you stop playing games," he whispered dangerously close to my ear. i shivered and my nausea kept tugging at my stomach.
"i'm your only chance at a respectable man. your parents already love me. so why don't you accept the love I have for you? you'll never find anyone like me, tesoro."
"i fucking hope so," i whispered, pinching my eyes closed. he moved his face infront of mine, hovering his lips over mine. I whined and wriggle, but he isn't fazed by my struggling.
"you're a big girl now, right?" he said lowly. "i think it's time you feel like a woman."
i snap out of that awful memory when my mother clicks her fingers infront of my face. "come on, hurry up! we are only waiting on you!"
i cant leave san's side tonight. no matter what.
when i get downstairs, my nearly feel the breath getting knocked out of me. he's standing there, looking more handsome than i've ever seen him. black hair slicked back, eyebrows done. the suit is sitting perfectly. its like he's the model here and not me. god i think im going to be sick.
he gives me a small smile but says nothing.
"doesn't she look perfect, amore mio?" my mother says to my father, who only gives an awkward smile of acknowledgement.
"the two of you can sit at the back of the limo. your mother and i will take the two front seats," my father says, then turns to san with a pointed finger. "dont get any ideas, boy. i know your headmaster personally."
san awkwardly laughs. "i would never, sir."
i try not to wonder how true that is. we pile into the limo and my parents keep looking at us through the rearview, making sure there's a significant gap between us. i look over to him and all the anger i felt before is just gone. i think im fucking whipped.
hes the most beautiful man ive ever seen.
"san..."
"you look really pretty," he tells me before i can say anything. saying that with the most expressionless face makes my face drop.
"oh-"
"i just wanted to say that. you really do."
i dont know what to say. the limo is dim so i dont know if he can see how flushed i feel. he leans forward and i think hes about to kiss me. i hope for it. i dont even care if my parents are nearby.
"where are you hiding the stuff?" he whispers. oh right, his drugs.
i show him my sleeves, how the pills are pressed finely between the folds. then i point to my bust. "others are in here," i say.
he chuckles lowly. "creative. you can give me some if you need more space."
if san gets caught with this my parents would end him. everything he worked to achieve would be gone in less than 2 days.
"i think i should keep it. just in case anything happens. you know, rich girl immunity."
san nods and leans back away from me, making me feel empty. "of course."
no words are exchanged between us for a few moments. so we're really going to pretend like the party didnt happen? did that mean it was never going to happen ever again. i dont want to sound desperate but my head is screeching for answers.
but i focus on what matters tonight. putting on a show. getting irina and the others their drugs and collecting payment. and most of all, escaping santo.
"san, can you do me a favour?" i ask.
he hesitates but nods anyway.
"dont leave my side tonight. please."
he rubs the back of his head nervously. "well, i am your date. and i dont know anyone else here."
god. he doesnt realize how bad i need him.thats the thing, i need him more than he needs me. i can never delete what i have on him. i never know when this will go sideways.
the party is at some hotel. when we get there, i can tell the reception is intimidating to san. the cameras, the flashing lights. the security. i grab his hand and he doesnt protest as we go inside. both of us get patted down by security guards, of course the drugs go undetected.
we go inside and the dinner set up is fancy as fuck. i look at san and i cant tell if hes forcing the coolness to not have a panic attack, but his face is blank. i spot irina and the others at a table and wave, my mother dragging us to a separate table with our name on it.
theres a stage with a massive projection screen, where a slideshow of the lingerie collection plays. i know at some point the pictures from the shoot will play out as well. im hoping to sneak off before then because i cant handle the embarrassment.
"so this is your life huh," san mutters next to me. i frown, his tone sounds disappointed.
"whats wrong?" i ask.
"nothing. just...i cant believe it sometimes."
hes been acting so weird. is he insecure? fuck i.dont even know where to start placing questions. my stomach sinks a little at his tone. i guess he'll never get it. he doesnt understand what im really running from. i doubt he ever will. that class disconnect will keep beating our ass.
to him, anything is better than being in a gang. i guess hes right. but that doesnt mean there arent things out there that would make you want to kill yourself. i would know.
santo walks out on the stage and everyone starts clapping like this is the oscars. "good evening everyone, buenos noches, buonasera, and everything else! welcome to the launch of the new Cosa Pericolosa brand. a brand distinct for its dangerous yet delicate beauty, made of the finest Italian lace and silk. i want to thank everyone for coming to celebrate and enjoy this milestone. there will be dancing and there will be a party, saluto!"
as soon as he gets off that stage, i see his face find my parents table. hes coming straight for us. i instantly grab san's hand under the table. he turns to me utterly confused, but i cant deal with that right now.
"mi famiglia!" santo loudly says and kisses my parents on the cheek. he gets to me and does the same, his kiss lingering on me longer than i wanted. i suppress a shiver. "tesoro, you look beautiful in the dress i picked! im so glad to see everyone here!"
"we could not have done it without you, santo!" my mother gushes. "you look so handsome!"
"ah, you are making me shy. it is really you people who are stealing the show, wait till you see how the pictures turned out!" he laughs obnoxiously, turning to smile at me.
"im so glad you are here, tesoro. it is good to finally have you back. your sister would be proud of you."
"thank you, santo." i force a smile. when really i want to scream. dont fucking bring her up, i want to scream it. but i force a stupid, docile smile. fuck if this night goes on for any longer, i might end up doing these drugs myself.
"hold on, who is this," santo finally acknowledges san. he holds out his hand to him. "i am santo falcone. but you can call me santo, you are?"
"that is yaera's date," my mother chimes in as san awkwardly takes his hand. "san choi. he is a classmate."
"oh," santo's smile tightens and he glances at me. "just a classmate?"
my father forces a laugh. "of course. do you know me? she can meet someone when it is time to get married."
santo grips san's hand for an uncomfortable amount of time till he ends up needing to rip it away. "nice to meet you, san choi. excuse me, i will return to you all. i have to greet the other guests and then have them run the music. you all enjoy the night."
he leaves, giving me a weird look before going. is he fucking jealous? does he seriously think he owns me? i dont know how my sister worked with him. hes so fucking creepy and somehow that never came up between us.
irina and the others arrive at our table next, greeting my parents with hugs and kisses. "can we steal yaera for a second? she looks so gorgeous!" claire says, gushing.
"no really, i want to rip that dress off you!" anya says. my mother rolls her eyes and laughs.
"please girls, bring her back in one piece for the show." my mother says. a smirk i know to be devious grows on irina's lips.
"oh we will, dont worry, mrs marino."
im so happy to get up from that table. san grabs my dress and looks up like a lost kid. "where are you going? dont leave me by myself here," he says under his breath.
awww hes so awkward. "ill be right back. dont miss me too much."
his eyes are desperate and his smile is so forced its hilarious. "youre really going to leave me with your parents?"
"dont worry she'll be back!" anya tells him, noticing him holding my dress. "your boyfriend is so clingy, yaera."
i can tell san is trying not to murder her with his glare. not more can be said because im whisked away. we end up in the bathrooms that look like something out of the louvre. anya and claire start taking mirror selfies while irina starts putting the money down on the sink.
"all of it is here, you can count it yourself. now where are the stuff?" she says. i start unrolling my sleeves, taking four of the bags out, getting the other five from my boobs.
anya and claire quickly come scrambling. "oh god, finally!" claire says. "we've been waiting so long."
"is it really that good?" i wonder, their relief is crazy to see. "better than what you already do?"
"alone its okay. but together with what we already do? a fucking trip to the skies," irina shakes her head with a smile. "ive never been so glad to know you, marino."
mixing drugs. that doesnt sound smart. but what do i know? im not the addict.
i smile and take the money, folding it back into my boobs. "youre welcome. and you know if you need more, where to call me."
"of course. and you better answer."
"your boyfriend is so fucking hot yaera," anya says with a sigh. "hes literally gorgeous. where did you find him?"
"careful, you cougar. you cant be talking about an 18 year old like that," i joke.
"im not even twenty three shut the fuck up!" she shoves at my shoulder.
"so he is your boyfriend?" claire smiles. the three of them coo like children when i start blushing.
"im getting there guys," i say. "hopefully soon."
"what do his parents do? he looks like a model himself." claire says.
"you know this is yaera, hes probably crazy as fuck. like the last one, what was his name?" irina chimes in with a snort. "i bet this one is the reason she has drugs in the first place."
i scowl at her. shes right but i hate that she read me so easily. "bitch, just enjoy my services. goddamn it you people are nosy."
she raises an eyebrow. "am i right though?"
i roll my eyes and start to leave, saluting on my way out. "im getting back now to my date now, goodbye ladies."
luckily when i get out, theres music playing and people are on the floor. san is sitting alone by the table, taking random sips out of a champagne glass. im so excited. i actually got money back for us. i throw my hands onto his shoulders and smile widely, unable to hold my excitement.
"so guess who collected their first payment?"
san's eyes widen. "all the money there?"
"every last note. so i think to celebrate we should dance."
san frowns and cringes. "i dont dance. im fine here."
i roll my eyes and grab his hand, pulling him up with a hard tug. "is it a sin for you to do ANYTHING fun? the music is playing and we have something to celebrate, come on."
he sighs and gives in with a lame smile. "fine."
i lead him to the dancefloor, swinging my arms around his neck. san's hands drop to my lowerback as we sway and i cant ignore the happiness bubbling in my brain. i cant stop smiling.
"you seem really happy," he notes. "you're getting a big head from your first payment huh?"
"of course. its just what i needed to prove myself to you. that i can pull my weight and that im not just some liability."
"i never said that-"
"yes you did san. many times." i remind him, and his cheeks flush from.embarrassment. "i can even quote you on it if you want?"
"please dont," he chuckles under his breath. "fine, i guess you can pull your weight."
his dimples are piercing through. i stare at him mesmerized and i cant even hide it. i bet if i was a cartoon in this very moment, i'd be having stars in my eyes.
"you're perfect, you know that?" i say without thinking.
san's eyes widen, then darken in seconds. "what?" his voice is just barely together.
"i want to kiss you again," i admit. "i think its all i'll want for a really long time."
i lightly stroke his cheeks, seeing them go rosey. this is all i have. the only thing that shows me that i do affect him.
his eyes dart down to my lips and i shrink the distance between us, till we're just barely a centimeter apart.
"i dont want you to think about it," i tell him. "just do whatever you want in the moment. thats all that matters."
"yaera..." he gulps, then takes a step back. "i-i dont know about this. lets just...this isnt good. for either of us."
"says who?" i scoff.
"says me. you and i should just stay business partners. strictly business. anything else wont end well for either of us."
hearing that makes my heart shatter and my stomach drop. fuck i can feel my eyes filling with water. i try to choke.it down but i know its obvious.
"so you're just gonna.pretend we never kissed at that party?" i lay down my arms from his neck. "youre just going to pretend that never happened?"
san stops dancing and gives me a curt nod. "i think its best we do. we both know i just represent something to you. something forbidden. thats why you want me right? because im someone you cant have."
i laugh bitterly. "i cant fucking believe you."
i feel a tear drop. san sees it and frowns. "yaera wait-"
i swat his hands away from me. "you are such a fucking dick."
i get off the dancefloor and run somewhere. i dont know where. im just walking, looking for a place to break down and sob. god this is so embarrassing. im so fucking pathetic.
i stop infront of a random room and twist the door handle. its unlocked, thank god. i go inside and fall onto the bed, my chest instantly getting wrecked. i start sobbing horrifically, unable to believe how awful i feel right now.
whats wrong with me. what is legitimately wrong with me. why was he so cold? am i not pretty enough for him or something? this cant just be about the business. i refuse to believe it. and even if it is, why do i feel so worthless?
everytime jongho has rejected me and made me feel like nothing but a stupid slut flashes infront of me. the feeling stabs me like a knife.
that must be it. thats probably what he sees me as. a stupid, desperate evil slut. all i do is throw myself at him. even at that party, i couldnt wait to be all over him. im pathetic. and desperate. i should just die.
my gloves are soaked. i cant believe how much im crying. maybe i should go back to therapy. maybe i wasnt coping as well as i thought i was.
i look up into the mirror stand, seeing my make up absolutely ruined. my entire face is red, and my hair is sticking to my soaked cheeks. i look like shit.
suddenly i remember why i stayed away from men in the first place. because im too fucking sensitive. my mood depends on them. my self worth is a reflection of how much they like me. they control whether i feel emotional highs and emotional lows.
i start laughing at myself. i cant believe i got myself into this kind of fuckery again.
the door opens suddenly, making me jolt. santo comes in and closes the door behind him, smiling tightly. i jerk up and start stumbling back, backing myself into a wall to be far away from him.
"what are you doing here?" i ask, my voice shaking.
"i saw you dancing with that...child," he slowly laughs, his tone sounding bitter. "you have no business being with someone like him, tesoro."
"santo-"
"do you know how fucking sick i felt?" he snaps, stalking like a dangerous animal. "seeing you with him? while you wear the dress i picked out for you?"
being alone was a mistake. i try to dart for the door but he grabs me and picks me up, covering my mouth with his hand. he throws me onto the bed, forcing his bodyweight on top of me. im frozen, i cant move. every karate class ive taken, all my knowledge on hurting someone just vanishes. hes on top of me and i cant move.
im sobbing again. he presses his finger to my lip, hushing me.
"i should be the only one who takes this dress off you tonight," he whispers. he starts lowering the top, leaving the top of my chest exposed. "dont cry, tesoro, you'll feel so much better after. ive been waiting for this for so long..."
"no please, santo," i beg through my tears. "please just leave me alone. please just-"
theres a few knocks on the door. "yaera, is that you? can i come in?"
that's san's voice. santo clamps his palm over my lips again and i scream.through them. its muffled. i start struggling and kicking but he wont get off me. he forces his hand harder. "fucking stop," he growls at me.
the door swings open anyway. san barges in and santo quickly jumps off me, suddenly on the other side of the room. san looks between us, frozen in his feet.
"what, did anyone say you could fucking come in?" santo screams. san stays staring between us, his face absolutely blank. santo scoffs and adjusts his suit jacket before storming out and slamming the door.
i sit up on the bed, looking at san through blurry eyes. i cant even find my voice. i cant even deal with what just happened.
"did he try..." san trails off, shaking his head at me. he rushes to sit down next to me. i cant help it, as soon as he wraps his arms around me i start bawling again.
"i cant fucking breathe. san please i just want to get away from here. please can we just leave."
he softly rubs the side of my head as he holds my face in his chest. "lets go. we'll go away from here. far away from.here. anywhere."
***
san
i dont even know where to start.
yaera and i ordered an uber from the hotel, disappearing with the permission of her father, saying she felt sick and she needed to go home. they werent happy but yaera's distraught face convinced them. they have no idea what the fuck happened tonight. they were sitting with that same guy that night.
hell, i dont even know what happened. but i could put two and two together.
yaera and i havent said a word to each other. shes passed out on my chest all the way to my apartment. i have to carry her on the way in. i have to put her down on her feet when its time to go into my apartment, and she hangs on my arm the entire time.
"you sure you fine with this?" i ask her. she nods wordlessly.
i let her inside, and she makes her way to my bed where she falls hopelessly. i go and sit down beside her, not knowing what to say. i dont know any words that can fix what happened tonight.
i know so much about her, but tonight...it made me realize i know nothing.
"this isnt the first time it happened," she says, her voice low and defeated. "the first time he did it...i was fifteen. he touched the inside of my thigh in a dressing room and kept trying it till i never went back. i never told my parents...or my sister."
i dont say anything. i let her speak.
"he told me he would never let me go. that he was in love with me. he tried so many times. at my own house. and everytime i would end up in the hospital...my parents would blame me. they would say that i was acting out. i didnt know how to tell them. they treated santo better me and my sister. hes a saint to them."
i feel my head heating up. a rich prick predator piece of shit. he deserves to disappear. he deserves to fucking rot.
i bet miss A could make a bastard like him disappear really quickly.
i take her hand and gently rub my thumb over her knuckles. i feel terrible. the only reason he was able to follow her was because of me.
"so thats why you asked me to not leave your side," i realized. "so you wouldnt be alone with him."
"he gets jealous of every man who comes near me," yaera's tears leak onto my pillow. "i thought if he saw you...he would really leave me alone this time. but it just...it made him more aggressive. he tried to..."
i pull her up and bring her into another hug, gripping her tightly. it felt like if i let her go that i'd never hold her again. that feeling terrifies me. i hate it so much.
"i'll never let him hurt you again," i swear. "i'll fucking kill him. just say the word and i will."
"i want him off my skin, san," she tells me pleadingly. "i dont want to feel him ever again. i want to scratch my skin off and be clean. i want to feel clean again."
"you arent dirty, yaera. hes the fucking filthy one for putting his hands on you," i hold her face in my hands. shes delicate, like porcelain. her eyes, that are usually so menacing and careless are filled with sadness. "youre perfect. you dont deserve that, dont for a second blame yourself. you're perfect, do you hear me?"
"if im so perfect then why dont you want me?" she whimpers. my blood runs cold. fuck how can she hit me with such a heavy loaded question.
theres no point in lying anymore. this is the last situation where i can lie.
"im scared," i admit. "im scared of you. and this. and everything. ive never had something like this, ive never had someone this close to me. i dont know how to handle it. ive been alone for so long i dont know how to let anyone be near me. i never let myself have anything. i always let go."
"please let me be there," she whispers in a tone i cant refuse. "please dont let me go. let yourself have this. let yourself have me."
my chest hurts. this night isnt going at all how i thought it would. its too much. i dont know what to say to yaera. i find my eyes feeling heavy. she takes my face in her hands again and i know she wants to kiss me. fuck it, this is the worst time. but at this point, there isnt ever a right time.
i go in for it and kiss her first. her lips are soft and velvety, and she melts against mine instantly. we start to lose our softness, with yaera pulling me closer and closer. its like she wants to take all the oxygen out of me. her kiss is hard, like a cry for help, like im all the air she'll ever need.
she breaks the kiss and drags her lips down my neck, making me shudder. yaera makes her way onto my lap and i dont fight it, her legs wrapping around me tightly as her dress rides up her thighs.
the kisses turn hot and i feel my brain losing sense. this wont end here, i know it. i want to stop it. i drag my willpower from the floor to break our kiss and she stares at me, frowning with swollen lips.
"is this really a good time?" i ask seriously. "you're really emotionally vulnerable right now. after what happened tonight, do you really think-"
"san," she interrupts me, pressing another kiss to my lips. "my life has been one big emotional fucked up moment, i want to forget. i want to have this, im so fucking dead inside. i want to feel alive again."
she stops showering me with warm pecks and looks me dead in the eye. "will you give me that?"
i hold her face again. my chest feels warm thinking about how no one sees her like this. her pain. but she trusts me enough. she lets me see it.
"i'll give you whatever you want tonight. i promise."
those words were all she needed. yaera slides her hands over my chest, pushing the suit jacket off. her hands move fast, flicking open every button till my chest is bare.
she presses her lips to mine again, her fingers tugging at my hair. i moan at the pull, surprising myself and her. she breaks the kiss and smiles down at me.
"i could get used to that sound," she teases. something stirs in me. she's so hot.
i move my hands to the back of her dress, finding the zipper. i dont break eye contact, and her smile only grows as the dress starts falling apart on her.
i slowly drag my lips down her neck, and she lets out a shiver. i fight my smile and continue to leave hot, soft kisses down her shoulder, moving down to her barely hidden cleavage. yaera harshly pulls the dress down, having rolls of money fall out and exposing her chest.
***
yaera
san stares at me after my boobs stare at him. there's a dazed look in his eyes that disappears once he lowers his mouth onto my one boob and grabs a hand full of the other.
i throw my head back, lost in a cloud after feeling his warm mouth. he starts sucking and massaging, rolling circles over my nipple. this is heaven. or something close to it definetely.
i feel my thighs tightening, warmth seeping down from my lower stomach. i try to stifle my moans, my mouth just barely gasping. he looks up at me, pausing on his motion. "you dont have to hold back. i told you i'll give you anything you want tonight," he whispers.
i hold his face with both my hands, feeling like i could cum from just staring into his eyes. "i only want you," i admit direly. i'll take anything he gives me. "but rubbing on you would be nice too."
he leans back, making me yearn. "okay, open wider."
hearing those words just makes me hotter. i get up from his lap and completely remove my dress, both of us just ignoring all the money on the floor. san's eyes hang on my every movement. im in nothing but black lace, and i dont waste time in throwing myself on his lap again, legs parted and ready.
he brings his lips to mine again, both softly and yet completely taking them as his own. his hand slips between my thighs, slowly trailing up like hes carressing fragile ceramics. i shiver as he gets closer to me, his hand finally slipping onto the base of me. he drags his thumb down my clothed folds, wrapping his arm around my waist to pull me closer.
i try to focus on kissing him, dragging my teeth down to his neck. i lose myself when he starts rubbing me with both fingers, feeling that jolt of warmth coursing through me.
my mouth is parted as my face is buried in his neck, pathetic whimpers pumping out of me. san starts going in circles, right in the perfect spot. i do myself the favour and move the fabric to the side, his warm fingers completely melting inside me as he pumps them in and out.
i know im doomed when i hear myself squelching. his rhythm is perfect, not too slow and not too fast, just enough for me to completely feel him and fade cloudily. i feel my high coming, my thighs starting to tense and my grip on him tightening. i start to kiss him frantically, till san keeps pushing his fingers faster. i feel like a hot coil, going and going till before i know it, im dripping all over his fingers.
i collapse onto his lap and he slowly drags them out, and i hear him prop them into mouth. i look at him with an accomplished smile on my face, shaking my head.
"you sick fuck, did you just taste me?"
san shrugs with a small smile on his face. "yeah, can you blame me?"
i cant contain myself, i kiss him again. i dont even feel close to done. "let me do something for you now?" i say against his lips.
"mmm mmm," san shakes his head, gently gripping my waist. "i just want you to feel good. do you?"
i nod. "i feel better than ever. but really, you dont want anything?"
he lets out a heavy sigh. "i didnt want to tell you this, but you feeling things makes me...feel things."
oh he just became ten times hotter.
i realize it now, while sitting so close to him, i can feel his massive boner poking me through his pants. i smirk to myself, getting an idea.
"oh no, you have that look on your face again," san mutters, moving my hair back. "what are you thinking?"
"readjust your friend. so i can sit on him."
san goes quiet, but i can feel him pulsing underneath me. its sensation is sending me into fucking heat all over again.
"i dont think we should go too far," he says. "dont get me wrong, i want to. i really do. but i dont think you're feeling hundred percent...after everything."
my smirk drops. i dont want to think of him. not right now. not while i have san's hands all over me. but i guess its not a good look if i do just jump his bones after everything that happened.
he holds my face in his hands and squeezes after i say nothing. "and dont think its because you're not pretty or anything. seriously, i dont know why you would even say that."
i shrug. my black and white state of thinking has never really helped me.
san picks up a pillow up and tosses it against the wall. "come on, lets fall asleep. we can talk again in the morning."
"okay," i mutter. i dont know what else to say. i get off him and and crawl into his bed. san follows after, his hot skin completely blanketing me as he puts his arm over my body and draws me against him.
"are you gonna act like nothing happened tomorrow again?" i ask.
silence.
"no. stop worrying."
his curt words dont register in my brain, because he places a warm kiss on my shoulder. it doesnt take me long to completely drift to sleep.
***
wooyoung
wooyoung knows he fucked up. he knows its all fucked up, he just doesnt know when he's going to tell san about it.
miss A is looking at him with cold eyes, he cant even utter a word because of the fear inside him. seonghwa is sprawled out on a broken couch, horrific burns all over him. hes barely alive, but he had it in him enough to tell everyone about what went down at the warehouse.
"changbin is dead, you know this right?" miss A tells him.
"yes, ma'am," he utters pathetically.
"so you know what you and lucky have to do."
he knows he cant stay a bitch in this gang for long. he knows its going to get real. petty stuff is all wooyoung is used to. extortion, scamming people. when he watched yunho die, a fear he thought was so far away just flashed infront of his eyes. he knew he'd come to be on the other end someday.
"you find that man...and you bring me his hand. or else, i'll have yours."
***
A/N: pls this chapter was a mess im sorry and it took forever to write , the next will be better 😭😭😭😭
NEXT CHAPTER
tagslist: @yujispinkhair @brown88 @sansonlygf
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kermits-cup-of-tea · 11 months
Text
ok but the scene that started me crying watching catherine called birdy was when rollo announces aislinn is pregnant again. before that, it was kind of serious but in a haha thumb up the nose at the institution kind of way, then it gets more serious. because despite losing 6 babies during childbirth, rollo and robert are delighted at the possibility of "ooh another baby!" while birdy is understandably horrified, her mother is too but she's learned she has to hide it, she's "learned her place" so to speak
then when birdy and aislinn are talking later, aislinn tells her how proud she is that birdy still fights, still tries to work her way out of marriage and being nothing more than a bargaining chip, but that she's also terrified for her
ethelfritha says something similar, she says birdy really is a bird then calls herself and birdy beasts. birdy still has her wings, she hasnt been tied down yet, she still fights the system
idk what exactly im trying to say but the inherent sisterhood and feminine connection that is just so present in this movie makes it so much more moving to me because yes it could have just been "ooh a girl comes of age in the 13th century" but its so much more than that. its so perfect in its delivery, like birdy sells herself to save her friend because even if she cant be happy, others deserve to be so she is trapped between a rock and a hard place: refuse shaggy beards money, but condemn her best friend to a life of misery, or save her friend and know she is well taken care of and hope that maybe shaggy beard wont be completely terrible because at least she'll have nice things and never want for anything. and her brother can only see wedding rings, her father at the very least seems to realize the gravity of what she's done
this movie does subtle horror/terror so well, like on the outside yes its a dramedy but really its... so sad and tragic, someone said by the end all birdy wants is to be as close to happiness as she can get. thats such a terrifyingly sad thought, that even after all that she went through, thats her lot in life is to not even be happy its to be as close to it as possible
AND ANOTHER THING:
birdy at the end loves her father as much as she is able, which... parallels to what george says about loving ethelfritha i...
also the acting in it is phenominal, all the actors portraying women got that "im happy but god i am so scared for you" look down perfect, while the actors portraying men got the obliviously happy look
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okthatsgreat · 9 months
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i am GRABBING YOU and SHAKING YOU. did you know your mikane is the craziest. did you. did you know that. last chapter drove me so far up the wall i am still yet to calmndown...... poor mikan. imagine ur emotionally repressed gf runs away again only for two children w the exact same problem to come barging through your door.
i have so many things to ask........ but i shan't ask them all. please please tell me anything about ur ideas for mikane in general or in oppdmh bc they're the most crazy insane yuri ever. OH RIGHT YEAH AND. the actual question. obviously opddmh mikan still struggles with anxiety, but how do you think she's changed in mentality and issues after everything that came after danganronpa? any issues outgrown or gained? morphed in some way? love ur work so much every time. u made me pause my utena rewatch and that is such a big compliment u do not even know
GRABS YOU SHAKES YOUSHAKESYOU SHAKES YOU SHAKES YOU
talking about this fic, as always putting the answer under read more for people who dont wanna read lol!!!!!!!
OHHH MY GOD IM INSANE ABOUT THEMM. went into this fic knowing that i wanted mikan and akane to have their own povs because i thought theyd bring different perspectives, especially in comparison to makoto's pov. i knew what i wanted mikans story to involve and i had a vague idea about akanes (fun fact rantaro was originally gonna be kaito LOL) and then like two chapters into writing mikans point of view i was like waiiiitttt a minute. wait a minute hold on. what if they were in love. and what if they were so not normal about it
it made so much sense for the story i wanted both of them to tell that immediately i went into my notes and started pivoting a few things LMFAO. i just think that their relationship (or their pining at least lol) is able to neatly underline some of their core themes/issues in this fic, whether that be for better or for worse. through the lens of their relationship im hoping to convey mikan's sheer capacity of worry and insecurity, how she finds it difficult to move through life without another person to rely on even if she has done a bit of growing since the simulator and how that dependency affects her. and then of course akane's emotional repression is highlighted through their relationship (her forgetfulness, her inability to communicate, LEAVING all of the time), but also it's a great reminder of just how protective akane can get even if she isn't there. not to mention how worried she gets about mikan despite her absolute refusal to worry.
they care about each other to the point of unspoken codependency and while it is absolutely making both of them feel safe and happy it is still a reminder of their underlying problems. akane would do anything to avoid somebody thinking she is weak enough to be cared for. but all mikan can do is care and care and care about her. both of them are so willing to shoulder the problems of the other but neither of them want to be seen as burdens, so all they end up doing is silently dance around their issues until eventually somebody caves. INSANE YURI MOMENT
mikan still absolutely has anxiety LMFAO and dare i say..... she's...... kind of better????????????????????? or maybe not actually. going into this i had to think about how to write these characters in a way that felt true to who they are but also remembering that they have GROWN, even if danganronpa really makes them feel as if they havent lol. this is a mikan who has likely endured years of therapy, even if that therapy is SHIT at best. this is also a mikan who has been shoved into the spotlight rather forcibly and has basically been given the choice to adapt or die. so i probably shouldnt say that shes "better", it's more that shes had to modify herself to fit this new lifestyle of hers. she hasnt been given much of a choice, and i imagine shes had a few years to really fuck up and struggle before reaching this point. she is constantly in the spotlight and basically always under scrutiny, so ive sort of swayed away from her wanting attention and focused more on how she reacts to this attention-- shes grown bitter from the negative and she doesnt think she deserves most of the positive. it's this hurricane of problems with mikan and a lot of it involves her own struggle to view herself as a good person, which stems heavily from the insecurities she already had in her game and intensified by what happened outside of it. years of being seen as this iconic chapter three killer has absolutely worn her down a bit, but there is still a part of her that yearns for control over her life and the people surrounding it. she is still SO anxious, ive tried to really hammer home quite a few recurring symptoms with her like her nervous tics, sickness/lack of appetite, hair shedding, etc!! and she is extremely bitter about how shes been treated, too, which im hoping to elaborate on further on down the line. however she really, REALLY can not be passing out in front of cameras or throwing any fits about the exploitation shes endured since shes been a teen because the company she works for wont accept anything that isnt on brand. and underneath it all shes still that scared little kid that desperately wants to please
she's an older mikan but she is still very much hurting, not necessarily any less but in a way that's a bit different if that makes sense :)
you are SO FUCKING NICE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333333333
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fictionkinfessions · 1 year
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Finished Windblume!! (so SPOILERS for anyone who hasnt finished it yet)
And wow!
FUCK RHINEDOTTIR!
MA'AM YOU DON'T GET TO PRETEND ALBEDO'S THE ONLY CHILD YOU MADE THAT "SURVIVED."
YOU DONT GET TO TRY AND ACT LIKE EVERYONE BEFORE HIM DIED. LIKE THE REST OF US WERE SOME WEIRD HOMONCULI EQUIVALENT TO A MISCARIAGE.
YOU FUCKING THREW. ME. AWAY. OF YOUR OWN VOLITION! YOU FED ME TO YOUR STUPID FUCKING DRAGON. WHILE I WAS ALIVE AND FULLY CONSCIOUS. AND JUST HOPED I'D DIE AND NEVER TURN UP AGAIN. WHY? SO YOU COULD CONCEAL YOUR LIES???
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED TO CALL YOURSELF A MOTHER! YOU SHOULD BE LUCKY IT SEEMS ALICE DIDNT FUCKIGN KNOW WHAT YOU DID BECAUSE I CANNOT FATHOM HER EVER BEING OKAY WITH YOU THROWING OUT A LIVING BREATHING BABY. (even if I dont remember us ever being children, the event visuals clearly show we WERE infants at one time within canon.)
IM SO FUCKING MAD! IM PISSED! THAT THIS WOMAN IS GOING AROUND ACTING LIKE ALBEDO'S HER LITTLE MIRACLE CHILD AND SHES SO LUCKY TO HAVE THIS ONE LITTLE THING WHEN SHE COULD HAVE HAD AT LEAST TWO! WHO FUCKING KNOWS HOW MANY LIVING BABIES RHINE THREW OUT BEFORE ME IN CANON.
I'm not looking forward to how the fandoms gonna pretend she didnt say this! Or at least not fucking recognize what shes implying!
Bitch you dont get to PRETEND I NEVER EXISTED! Or that you didnt THROW ME OUT LIKE TRASH BECAUSE I WASNT "GOOD ENOUGH" FOR YOU! WHAT KIND OF MOTHER THROWS OUT HER CHILD FOR THAT REASON? I WASNT CLOSE ENOUGH TO PERFECT? WHAT MADE ALBEDO DIFFERENT? HE'S NOT PERFECT EITHER BUT YOU FUCKING KEPT HIM! WAS DURIN JUST FULL THAT NIGHT? CANT FEED HIM TWO BABIES?
GOD I FUCKING HATE YOU! I HATED YOU BEFORE BUT OH MY FUCKING GOD I DIDNT THINK CANON WOULD MAKE YOU THIS BAD! I THOUGHT MY OWN TIMELINE WOULD BE WORSE, BUT NO. CANON IS!!! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED! THE OTHER MAGES SHOULD HATE YOU! YOU DONT DESERVE FRIENDS. YOU DONT DESERVE TO BE CALLED A MOTHER. YOU DONT DESERVE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHATEVER MISERABLE FATE IS COMING FOR YOU. DEATH ISNT EVEN GOOD ENOUGH TO ATONE FOR THE BULLSHIT YOU'VE DONE AND THE LIES YOU'RE SPEWING. Luckly Celestia already made sure death isnt a fucking option for you. I'd say you're the only Khaenri'ahn that fucking deserves it.
GOD I fucking HOPE I HOPE I come back in the future. I hope that I turn up and everyone sees how much of a shit person you fucking are, Rhinedottir. Albedo seems to know at least! I want Alice to know! You're closest friend! I want her view of you to shatter so hard she'll hunt you down herself! Because there is NO FUCKING WAY She'd ever be okay with this! Not with how quickly she'll jump to adopting anyone in need of a good mother! Because CELESTIA KNOWS YOU'RE NOT ONE. I hope that if you EVER get a chance to apologize in canon, you'll take it. And nobody around will accept it, even if it's straight to me. Because you don't deserve forgiveness. I want you to lose everything. And it still wont be good enough.
Fuck you fuck you fuck you. I hope you're fucking miserable in this life if you're out there because you don't deserve SHIT and Karma's a fucking BITCH.
~Subject Two/Rubedo 🕯♟ Who genuinely didn't think his hatred of Rhinedottir could get WORSE but has been proven oh so very wrong.
🫘
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intersexfairy · 7 months
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Hey friend. You're gonna get out. There is a whole world that will bloom for you. You will have a safe place to live and friends who help care for you. You're gonna make it. And we will help you, too. You are already cared for by a lot of people, and you aren't in it alone, not in the grand scheme of things. I'm so sorry things are so fucking hard right now. I promise this isn't your life forever. 💜💜💜
:( <3 thank you isaac... i really really hope things get better and that everyone is right. i feel so alone so often, it really does help to have you all support me. i'm gonna try so hard to get thru tonight. without doing something dangerous... or at least not as dangerous.
thank god i have therapy tomorrow. i hope she helps me. im tired of telling all these professionals how i feel and having them either do nothing or tell me to advocate for myself. my therapist hasnt done nothing (she got me transportation and into a drop in center that i havent gone to yet but plan to)... but ive been telling her for 8 months, almost 9 now, that i need to get out of this house.
sigh. it's all so unfair. but it really, really does make things better to hear all these good things from you and everyone else.
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marunalu · 2 years
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It’s most definitely not an enemy to lover! If it was it would probably be better written. Thank you so much I have never felt such disdain before but it isn’t like me to be critical or spiteful. It’s just not in my nature but this ship and Bakugou REALLY push it. It likely it only got like this because of the fact Bakugou keeps some how reaching number 1. Not helped that I noticed many of the BakuDeku fans fell off the series wagon or are only anime. Mostly consuming media so most of their Bakugou love isn’t actually canon. The most damning thing about Bakugou is that he be better as a antagonist to Izuku not this protagonist. If they worked that angle it be so much better but also thank god during that ‘apology’ Izuku rejected being on first name basis with him. At least Horikoshi was able to keep him from actually forgiving despite the apology. Don’t know where people got the whole he forgives him he only accepted the apology. Accepting isn’t forgiving and Bakugou risking his life once is a start but doesn’t make up for everything. It’s a start of a conversation not a true redemption until Bakugou actually starts trying to be a better person! But status quo and all that ruining a good thing ugh. Like at least Endeavor dealing with consequences where Bakugou consequences!?!? (Thank you for letting me vent I really appreciate it.)
Yeah a lot of bakugou stans and bkdk shippers dont even follow the manga, or just read the chapters in which bakugou shows up, because they hope for bkdk crumps they can spam the main tag with it. There is a reason why the old bnha leaker always had to put the "no bakugou in this chapter" warning every fucking time in the leaks, so the stans wouldnt rant over what a waste of time the chapter was!
I disagree with izuku accepting bakugkus apology! He neither accepted it nor did he say one word about forgiving bakugou later after he returned to ua. Izuku still hasnt said anything regarding the apology, didnt even reacted to it, because he was simply in no right mental condition to process what bakugou said! He was tired, he was hurt and hungry, he was sad and angry he was absolutely not in the right mind! Bakugou choose the moment for his apology in which izuku was not mentally ready to react properly to it. Lost his consciousness the very next moment! The apology was not for izukus sake, it was for bakugous! If it had been for his sake, bakugou would have choosen a privat moment under 4 eyes after izuku was mentally stable enough again to react properly to it and not under the eyes and ears of their whole class, who have no idea what actually happened between the two! For gods sake they all think what bakugou did to izuku was giving him mean names, not one of them has any idea HOW BAD it was and HOW LONG the abuse lasted! A WHOLE DECADE! The same length as shotos abuse from his father! But hey only one of this things is a crime, not the other, because of bakugous age! Sorry to tell his stans that, but with 15/16 you are old enough to get the difference between right and wrong! And he needed over 10 years for an "apology" that at the end was only done out of his selfpity! Because he felt bad for HIMSELF, not for his victim! He wanted it to be done and move on and he was most likely sure izuku will think the same way, because thats how izuku always was! But fact is izuku neither accepted the "apology" nor has he forgiven bakugou yet! The question is more if hori will go deeper with it, or if he just wanted the apology to be done to please bakugou haters, but choose to do it in the most terrible and disrespectful way possible!
When it comes to endeavors arc Im more neutral. Im by no means an endeavor fan, but I can see that he is at least really trying to be a better hero and more important to be a better father. Unlike bakugou stans who will attack his haters, I would never attack endeavor haters, simply because I respect their opinion and view, even if I may not completly agree with them! What both endeavor and bakugou did is for many people very personal. Its absolutely disrespectful to say what happened to shoto was more terrible then what happened to izuku! Shoto was abused by his father, while izuku was abused by bakugou, bullied by his whole class and even the teachers and shunned out by society for being born different then the rest! Both is EQUALLY terrible! Both izuku and shoto were almost still babys when the abuse startet and both had to live a whole decade with it!
And yes at least endeavor in facing the full consequences of his actions! Some people will say its not enough, but at least there is something! We bakugou haters have to live with the possebility that bakugou will never have to face anything, simply because of his crazy fanbase!
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fluffybunnybadass · 2 years
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testing pos for covid yesterday feels so surreal bc i SWEAR i have just a cold. not even like, in a denial way. just... in a fortunate way. every time i have to do those symptom screenings, i only say yes to like. 2-3 symptoms that can be part of like, literally anything else (cough/sneeze/congestion/ previously sore throat). and my body doesn't do the whammy of everything, just, like, one symptom a day shit. hell, i've been sick/symptomatic for like... 4 days (5 now i guess as of today) and like. fortunately no major, scary symptoms.
but i did two at home tests in case one was a false pos, and nope, stupid work done got me by putting me in a self checkout station now 8/
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(the crowd does not go wild for this)
maaaaaaan, i'm so fucking pissed about that.
but fr tho, it doesn't compute. covid is this big scary life threatening illness sickness thing that causes life lasting damage and here i am, just like
cough harrumph achoo sniffle sniffle mouth breathing bc the fucking sinus pressure holy shit. the fucking punched-in-the-nose-by-sinus-pressure/issues and the fucking. one-sided throat irritation+ swelling at the beginning of the week (gone by end of next day) were like. the ONLY unusual cold symptoms for me. I barely even had a fever/unusual temps (1-2 degrees higher, if that).
I've literally been blessed with only getting cold-like symptoms thus far. and I hope to god that it stays that way. I'll have to get a "proper" test on monday, bc that's when the nearest testing cite is open for me (and bc sbux doesn't count home tests just yet 8) ), but at least it's walking distance so i don't have to worry about putting someone else at risk. or several someones, in the case of taking the bus.
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seriously, i was more sick from food poisoning than this. my last cold at the beginning of the year was more sick. so, i'm just trying to assume good things, because it hasnt gotten worse, and would have by now, right?
if i just keep thinking of it like a cold and don't cause psychological damage to myself by thinking about it as covid (while maintaining my usual cautious safety standards anyways. because i've been masking this entire time and won't stop even after this), i should stay fine, right? i am just trying to keep myself from being psychosomatic ok. i have also struggled to remember that word ALL DAY today. my day also started at 2pm.
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minjeonpark · 2 years
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I was wondering if Mika's illness is real or not, and if it is, how much research did it take to make it so realistic?
Because damn you've done an amazing job at showing how it's a part of her yet Not making it her only personality... its just so amazing seeing how much she can do with something so serious...
Love the story BTW, keep it up!!!
You totally reminded me that I forgot to put disclaimers at the beginning! 🤯
I'm no doctor! As far as I know (and as far as the brief yet necessary research I did) in medical terms Mika's illness is not a 100% real. Her symptoms are tho. I just tried to keep the condition of her health as realistic as I could in a world of fiction so it wouldn't sound too far fetched.
It hasnt been explained fully in the story yet - - I've purposefully given you snippets of information because the cause of it all is a main part of her... And Mika doesn't have one general illness (if that makes sense?).
On chapter 10, Lee Hyeri briefly - - almost in passing-told JK that Mika lacks antibodies and as a child caused her to develop a series of health issues and among them was Hypothalamic disfunction. In more than one chapter I purposefully mention that Mika is better off than other people with her illness because she doesn't suffer from the wide espectrum of consequences that come with it. (since its fiction I played God and only gave her 3 symptoms otherwise our girl would be bed ridden😭)
Mika's main health issue is her pathetic count of antibodies and overall nonexistent regulation of temperature that could give her more shit to deal with if she's not careful. Hence why we see JK constantly checking her body temperature since he found out and did the research. JK already knows the extent of one of Mika’s health issues and that's why in the latest chapter asks himself if Mika will get to thirty.
These are symptoms she already had and that got worse with the disfunction she developed. I'm trying not to spoil too much since it will come up a lot in the upcoming chapters but every health issue that Mika has she got when she was a child and IT IS A HUGE FACTOR within the Martins. 😬😏
Brief spoiler that really isn't one:
Garam, the therapy sessions, the frequent checkups, the medicine - - that's all Sora trying to give Mika the life she didn't have as a child. 🤭😭
I hope this ramble made sense. And I'm delighted that it sounds realistic to the readers💜💜 since I literally played God and doctor while drafting Mika’s character 😭😭
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