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I could never understand how he loved me before. When I deemed myself completely unloveable. But he did. I’ve had so many ups and downs (mainly downs) with my body image. When my cycle started to have major issues (i.e. not getting it for MONTHS) I started panicking. What if I can’t have kids? I just fucked it up not only for myself but for him too. So I decided to drop the weight and I did drop a lot of it. Everything meshed up into place. I book an appointment to make sure everything is functioning properly for when we decide to start trying. Two weeks after said booking said appointment for this upcoming Wednesday and I find out I’m pregnant. I get nervous as hell, which then turns into excitement despite the anxiety of finishing up my masters while juggling being a new mom. Then I’m sitting down observing group therapy with some kids and I feel this overwhelming pain, just after an afternoon of day dreaming about what our kid was going to look like. I go to the bathroom and there is an overwhelming amount of blood and I start to panic. My supervisor had to take me to the hospital. The doctors were so extremely gentle. I wasn’t expecting it. I was a complete mess from beginning to end and I could tell that they were trying every which way not to break my heart. That 20-30% of pregnancies have bleeding. I knew that I was the 70-80%. They kept on apologizing saying that they understood that this is a traumatic experience especially for a first pregnancy. The worst part of this whole thing is that there is no concrete why and I’m the type of person that needs to know every little detail of every thing. The best guess is that there was something wrong genetically and my body picked up on it and rejected it. I’m still completely heartbroken over it, but I’ve given myself the time to grieve in unhealthy ways. Eating a LOT of junk and drinking quite a bit of alcohol (I usually only drink once in a blue moon). Now its time for me to be more constructive. Kick ass in my midterms and papers. Workout a little and eat more healthy and monitor for the perfect time to start again. Sure it isn’t the most ideal timing in the world but now that I know that it is possible I don’t want to wait too long because I’m terrified that it will change. I can handle the balancing pre-baby. I know I have a strong support system and the best partner who is working towards getting a good job so that we can move in together and start our lives together. It’s not ideal but it’s doable. 

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Hey so not to brag or anything but I volunteer at a special needs general music class and tn I basically ran my groups section and I also did an improvised mini lesson at the end and the music Ed prof that helps out is really impressed by my teaching skills and wants me to take her class next spring and ta for her

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Warning: this post is about the end times and apocalyptic literature from a Catholic perspective- I know this kind of thing can trigger anxiety for some people- so if that’s you, please skip this post and please take care


Since a few people seemed interested, here’s a few interesting facts I learned in my End of the World class!

  • Hopefully this one isn’t that much of a surprise: the Catholic teaching about the End Times (and I believe many or most Protestant denominations agree) is not that the world will actually come to a definitive end. Rather, it will be the “end of the world”… as we know it. So there will still be a world, but it will be fundamentally different. One of the biggest differences is that the New Heavens and New Earth will be under the reign of the Messianic King- who Christians believe is Jesus Christ.
  • Books like Revelation and Daniel are actually written in a very intentional and specific way- that’s why they sound so weird when you read them! Here are some common images to look out for: animals represent nations, horns represent specific rulers, and stars represent Jewish leaders.
  • The temple is super important in Jewish and Christian apocalyptic literature
  • Apocalyptic literature, generally speaking, is actually meant to inspire hope! It’s meant to remind people reading it that times of persecution will one day come a definitive end when the Messiah comes to reign in glory
  • But it’s also possible to get carried away with the hope that apocalyptic literature is meant to inspire. This has been a problem since before Jesus Christ, and many Old Testament prophetic writings say so explicitly. One of my favorites is from the book of Amos:

Amos 5:18-20

18 Woe to you who desire the day of the LORD!Why would you have the day of the LORD?It is darkness, and not light;

19 as if a man fled from a lion,and a bear met him;or went into the house and leaned with his hand against the wall,and a serpent bit him.

20 Is not the day of the LORD darkness, and not light,and gloom with no brightness in it?

  • So basically, apocalyptic literature is still very much meant to inspire hope, but the Christian should remember that whenever Christ returns, that day will be preceded by the worst actual persecution that has ever occurred in history (as in, real violence and horror, not just “oh, people don’t say merry Christmas any more”— that’s not real persecution)
  • People have been trying to come up with calendar dates for specific apocalyptic events for a very long time (Christians have been doing it since the 1st century, very soon after Christ ascended to Heaven)—— but here’s the thing, it’s actually impossible to calculate an actual date. Christ Himself says “no one knows the day or the hour except my Father in Heaven”, so only God knows when it’ll happen

Please note that all of these are from a Catholic perspective. Personally, I do believe the Catholic perspective is the correct one, but I’m not trying to assert my position in this post, just share what the Catholic teaching is.

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Dear Dr. [misspelling of my name],

Hope you are doing well.

To accomplish great things we must not only plan, but also believe, so I would like to solicit your valuable article to place in our upcoming issue which is getting ready to release by the end of this month. Hence I am requesting your attentive manuscript submission to voyage ahead in fulfilling my task.

Hope you got my intention and looking for great opportunity to publicize your article.

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class registration tomorrow AHHHhhh…except in grad school it’s less scary cause theres only so many of us so we basically are already enrolled in the classes we want more or less..with a few exceptions

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So I’m working on a literature review that is due tomorrow and the subject matter is nothing at all I’m remotely interested in. 

I’m really sad that my school made me choose between two different things I didn’t want to study as my secondary focus area. International Relations is so much more interesting than public policy! (My school dropped IR as a focus area due to lack of faculty able to teach it.) 

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Sunday night in college/grad school is wild. Did I turn everything in? Am I *sure* I turned everything in? Did I check all the syllabi? Am I really, 100%, actually sure I did AND turned in everything due at midnight tonight?

…Is it safe to sleep?

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Hey I’m thinking of doing a museum studies masters but I’m scared to apply cos idk what I’d do my thesis on lol, do you have any tips for choosing a topic/getting inspo?

Hi! So I chose a program that didn’t require a thesis and I opted not to do one. But I did have to do something so I ended up doing a big, several semester long internship project involving several mini projects instead. So I may not be the best person to give you advice about a thesis. 

The one piece of advice I can offer you is to choose a topic you’re passionate about because you’re going to spend a lot of time on it. My friends all did a thesis and sometimes it was the fact that they loved the subject that kept them going when it became too stressful. I kind of always wanted to write a thesis that focused on something like the Women’s Army Corps in WWII or something about the role of women during the American Revolution because those are subjects I am passionate about and would have loved to explore deeper. That passion will also help you when presenting it and such. So is there an area of history you are really interested in that you’d like an opportunity to explore more? Or something about museums that fascinates you? In terms of museum studies specifically, think about things where you’ve though “huh that’s kinda weird” or “that’s different, I wonder why that is?” and there might be a subject in there somewhere for you to write about. Maybe there’s a cataloging or conservation technique that interests you? Repatriation and NAGPRA? The increased role of technology in museums? How museums use social media to market themselves? What about diversity and inclusion?

Think about things that interest you, questions you have, something you’d love to look deeper into. You should be able to find a subject somewhere in there. And advisers are there to help you as well. They can help you narrow the field and find something for you to research.

Maybe my followers can give you some more/better advice? I don’t really have any experience with thesis.

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