“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.”
― Jamie Anderson
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"The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not 'get over' the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal, and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again, but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to."
- Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
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unknown // instagram, geloy concepcion // unknown // in the event this doesn't fall apart, shannon lee barry // oh earth we're briefly gorgeous, ocean vuong // instagram, geloy concepcion // riko (aribachi) // a grief observed, c.s.lewis // jamie anderson // @sarakleign // macbeth, william shakespeare // unknown // bright dead things, ada limòn // would've could've should've, taylor swift // dark paradise, lana del rey // haunted, dean gioia // fourth of july, sufjan stevens // perfumebathing // unknown // growing around grief, lois tonkin
𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒,
𝒶𝓇𝒶𝒷𝑒𝓁𝓁𝒶
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in every video that's been coming out lately about stalls and changes in the U.S. economy, there's this incredibly charged silence in all of them.
for example, i was watching a video on what happened to cause the decline of 'mid-budget films'. all sorts of factors were discussed, from the streaming wars, to corporate consolidation, to low attendance in theaters. all true, yet... low attendance in theaters is attributed to streaming, market pressures, and big names not pulling people in- also true.
but not once was the fact that 1,140,278 people in the U.S. alone have died since 2023 mentioned.
there are 1,140,278 less people to fill those theater seats than there were in 2019. That is 1,140,278 less people making, shipping, and selling our goods. that is 1,140,278 less people taking their earnings home and spending what little they have left on those goods, the only thing keeping our manchild-ran economy from crumbling into recession.
our workforce decreased by 1,140,278 less people because you KNOW it was the working class, out there dying for everyone else. our workforce decreased by 1,140,278 less people due to one cause alone.
but no one says it. no one factors it in. countless thinkpieces, videos, news segments, conversations overheard in packed restaurants full of maskless, spitting faces about how our economy is crumbling under its own weight because of the internet, because of countless natural disasters battering our country from all sides, because of global trade, because of anything but the factor that we lost 1,140,278 people to preventable causes.
this 1,140,278 people, gone from our lives, and this doesn't even begin to touch the number of people permanently disabled, unable to work. but that number is far bigger than we can reliably calculate. more than we could begin to process.
this, by the way, is the number for the U.S. only. the country i live in, who ranks second worldwide in deaths per million due to this one cause.
and after three years of this constant, ongoing mass dying, we don't say its name. there's an eerie silence around it, a gaping hole we dare not touch. lest we violate some sort of social rule, heaven forbid. we spit on the deaths of those 1,140,278 people every time we forget, and every time we let our government get away with not protecting or caring about its people.
tell me, when was the last time you acknowledged COVID?
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reminder that grief is everything, not just what people tell you it is. grief is knowing someone will die in the next two weeks. grief is missing them before they're even gone. grief is missing talking to them, laughing with them. grief is worrying about someone you see once a year. but it's more than that too. grief is being upset you have to miss the first two days of your new classes to go see your grandparent that's dying. grief is not telling any of your friends because you think it will bring down the mood. grief is acting unaffected. grief is crying once or not at all. grief is laughing and joking about it. grief is everything. and none of those things are selfish. if you feel selfish for worrying about things other than the person in your life that is passing or has passed, don't. you're grieving. you're allowed to grieve however you do. it can be different between one person and another. and i know everyone says to just feel what you're feeling but judges you for what you feel. it doesn't matter. it's none of their business. feel whatever you do, grieve however you do, love however you do.
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i finally finished "one day" on Netflix, and god. it really did live up to it's title. it was always one day, and one day, and one day...until it got taken from them. it's like they reached through the mouth of the beast and tore - the anatomy of grief. it was a terribly unkind experience.
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Do not stand
By my grave, and weep.
I am not there,
I do not sleep—
I am the thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints in snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle, autumn rain.
As you awake with morning’s hush,
I am the swift, up-flinging rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight,
I am the day transcending night.
Do not stand
By my grave, and cry—
I am not there,
I did not die.
— Clare Harner, The Gypsy, December 1934
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