Tumgik
#harry potter shitposting
erinsintra · 5 months
Text
absolutely obssessed with how good the urban planning of hallownest is. the stag can take you absolutely anywhere. there are trams to access dangerous locations they can't get across, and everything is absolutely free. walkable neighbourhoods are a must, even in a setting where some people can fly.
more than that, the kingdom fell long ago, and everything is only like a tenth of what it used to be. which means things were actually EVEN BETTER at some point
Tumblr media
2K notes · View notes
hearts4dorlene · 5 months
Text
Remus: Hey fellas, good night?
Peter *grumbles*: Not as good as yours apparently
Remus: What-?
Peter: Yours and Sirius' Muffliato charm broke
Remus: Oh shit did you guys hear?
*Enter James*
James: Oh god your faces, what have I missed Wormy?
Peter: Did you not hear them both last night James? Were you out or something? They were going at it-
Peter:
Peter: Why are you wearing a Slytherin tie James?
*Enter Sirius*
Sirius: Just been to get some breakfast and saw my little brother wearing a Gryffindor tie?
Remus: James?
James: Funny story lads, so you see-
2K notes · View notes
siriuslemonmuffin · 1 year
Text
regulus: what do you look for in a partner?
remus: someone who can challenge me intellectually
regulus: so how did you end up with someone who’s intellectually challenged?
5K notes · View notes
moonlightdancer26 · 8 months
Text
Snape haters: How do people even like Snape?
Also Snape:
“Yes, it is easy to see that nearly six years of magical education have not been wasted on you, Potter. Ghosts are transparent.”
*****
“Would you like me to do it now?” asked Snape, his voice heavy with irony. “Or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?”
*****
“I was just showing Harry my grindylow,” said Lupin pleasantly, pointing at the tank.
“Fascinating,” said Snape, without looking at it.
*****
As Harry raised himself into a sitting position, his head still swimming from its last contact with the ground, he saw Snape running as hard as he could, the enormous beast [Buckbeak] flapping behind him and screeching as Harry had never heard him screech —
. . . Snape had managed to Disapparate just beyond the school’s boundaries.
*****
Snape gave her [Umbridge] an ironic bow and turned to leave.
*****
“The mind is a complex and many-layered thing, Potter — or at least, most minds are.” He smirked.
*****
“Potter, when I want nonsense shouted at me I shall give you a Babbling Beverage. And Crabbe, loosen your hold a little, if Longbottom suffocates it will mean a lot of tedious paperwork, and I am afraid I shall have to mention it on your reference if ever you apply for a job.”
2K notes · View notes
troythecatfish · 19 days
Text
Tumblr media
431 notes · View notes
fidelioblack · 8 months
Text
Harry describing his dad and godfather:
"There was his dad, James, looking just like Harry, except for his eyes. Besides him, Sirius, handsoming handsomely with all his handsome handsomeness"
1K notes · View notes
Text
if Wolfstar raised Harry:
someone: WHOA did You Know Who give you that scar when he killed your parents?
Harry [deadpan]: No, i’m just a really dedicated Bowie cosplayer.
728 notes · View notes
jrhostile · 1 year
Text
James: I think you’re pretty
Regulus: you are hiding behind the door, you obviously find me terrifying
James: you are many things
3K notes · View notes
madame-helen · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
488 notes · View notes
ceramic-raven · 22 days
Text
Me when good writers tag me in their fics
Tumblr media
268 notes · View notes
charmedimsure · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media
real photo of sebastian convincing ominis why the relic will help anne
772 notes · View notes
stylesandpottertoo · 26 days
Text
"my father didn't strut" james potter would be screaming at the top of his lungs from heaven in support of his boy
'oh but he did strut don't you think he'd laugh about it?' yes WE KNOW but do you think he would see harry being tortured by severus fucking snape and NOT side with harry? darling he wouldnt even THINK of how he walked, all he knows right now is that harry is in pain, and that's all he cares about
189 notes · View notes
hearts4dorlene · 11 months
Text
James: In order to maintain a healthy relationship, we need to express our emotions
Regulus: I hear you loud and clearly
James: So, you wanna tell me what was up the other day
Regulus: Merlin, stop being so nosey and mind your own business Potter
2K notes · View notes
oxydiane · 1 year
Text
sirius is so funny because he was so gay the author couldn’t think of a single random woman to pair him off with and beat the allegations so she had to kill him
3K notes · View notes
moonlightdancer26 · 1 month
Text
James Potter:
Actually saved Harry’s life ❌
Outran a hippogriff ❌
Choked someone with soap and exposed them against their will ✅
Is batman ❌
Spied on Voldemort and saved the Wizarding World ❌
Severus Snape:
Actually saved Harry’s life ✅
Outran a hippogriff ✅
Choked someone with soap and exposed them against their will ❌
Is batman ✅
Spied on Voldemort and saved the Wizarding World ✅
496 notes · View notes
peachesfuzz · 1 month
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I want to kill myself. MY P U S S Y IN BIO
189 notes · View notes