#have been lost due to moving blogs and while i have considered making

[nxuvillette]

LOST IN TIME — WRIOTHESLEY

synopsis: you and wriothesley’s relationship ended years ago. neither of you thought you’d ever see each other again, until one night you both meet after years of being apart.

❥ pairings : wriothesley x fem!reader

❥ note : sorry for the inactivity !! i was kind of going through a slump, but i’m hopefully gonna start returning to a regular schedule. i hope you guys enjoy this !! reblogs are appreciated <3.

content warnings : nsfw [17+], fem!reader, ageless + blank blogs dni, mentions of childhood trauma (wriothesley), high school relationships (they’re both adults when meeting again !), alcohol consumption, breakups, some angst, fluff, car sex, creampie, use of pet names (baby , good girl), ex!wriothesley, vanilla sex.

You were never the type to dwell on the past. Whatever happened back then happened, and there was no way for you to control it. Time kept moving and it wouldn’t pause for you whatsoever. It was something everyone was told to move on from. 

However, you couldn’t exactly move on from one thing in your past.

Your ex, Wriothesley.

You and Wriothesley met when you were both in high school. Neither of you were in great headspace at the time, so you two connected over the fact that you were dealing with lots of pain during that time period. He wasn’t exactly the most responsible student. He often showed up late, talked back to adults, and he gained many enemies from his impressive stature. He was intimidating. Even you felt a bit of fear whenever he walked into a classroom, but he turned out to be a really nice guy. He sat next to you in your algebra class and asked you for a pencil since he came to school without his backpack. You gave him one and then ended up chatting towards the end of the period about school and other random things.

A lot of your friends questioned why you of all people spoke to Wriothesley. He wasn’t exactly the kind of guy who would speak to girls like you. You had perfect attendance, good grades, and a pretty decent friend circle. He was the opposite of you.

Eventually, those platonic feelings turned into romantic ones the more you got to know him. Wriothesley confided in you about many things pertaining to his home life. He was in and out of foster care due to his parents passing early on in his childhood, and it led to him being moved around a lot. He wasn’t exactly good at making friends because a lot of them came from these perfect homes. None of them would understand that feeling or his story. Although you couldn’t understand it either, you tried your best to see things through his lense. There was a reason he acted the way he did. 

You two then began dating a few months later. It was a perfect relationship. He treated you better than any ex of yours would, and he made you feel safe around him. He was somebody you could rely on. Despite many people frowning upon it, you never listened to their opinions. Wriothesley was someone you thought was your soulmate. It was young love, but to you, it was everything you ever wanted.

However, you did have some problems in your relationship.

You and Wriothesley had many arguments during your time dating. Sometimes he didn’t care for himself and he would miss school to do god knows what. You wanted him to do better for himself, but it didn’t seem like he was taking you as seriously as you thought he would. It would always end with him apologizing and buying you flowers or taking you out for a date to make up for the harsh words thrown around. He didn’t like fighting with you. He knew you wanted the best for him. He just had a hard time committing to the things he had promised to you. 

He always thought you two would date for a while, but that was until your senior year. At that point, you two had been dating for almost two years. Things weren’t bad, if anything, it was a lot better than it was early on. Neither of you considered your relationship to be toxic by any means. 

Unfortunately, things did come to an end.

You knew that you and Wriothesley were on two completely different paths in life. You wanted to go off to college and begin a career, and he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do with his life. There wasn’t an issue with that, but you had a lot of doubt that the relationship would even work with the distance and your differences. Having to break up with him was one of the most difficult things you had to do. 

Wriothesley honestly didn’t understand why you wanted to leave him. You were absolutely everything to him, and he never was one to treat you poorly. However, he also knew that your feelings about it were valid. He didn’t know if he could handle a long distance relationship and you honestly deserve someone better than him. In a way, he knew he was dragging you down in life. He was the one blocking your way of becoming the absolute best, so he took the break up respectfully. He would always love you no matter what, and that’s what he told you. You didn’t think you would take it as hard as you did, but you knew it was for the better. 

As the years went on, you slowly forgot about your relationship with him. It wasn’t exactly the easiest thing to process while in college, but you often distracted yourself by going out with your roommate and other friends you made along the way. Soon enough, it was a thing of the past. 

It wasn’t until you came home to see your parents that all of the memories came flowing back to you.

You and your roommate had decided to move into an apartment close to your university, so you weren’t home as often as you normally would be. When you came by to visit, everything felt so nostalgic to you. You hadn’t been in your hometown for a little while and you weren’t sure where to even begin. 

You don’t know how you ended up at the bar just ten minutes away from your home. It wasn’t exactly packed for a Thursday evening, so you didn’t have to worry about weirdos at the bar hitting on you. You were sitting on your own, sipping on a random cocktail the bartender had made for you. Your mind wandered to many thoughts that only crossed when you were intoxicated. Your past, random embarrassing moments you wished you didn’t let happen, and your ex boyfriend from when you were in high school. 

You disliked that you thought about Wriothesley more than you should have. You two had broken up years ago. Why would you still have these thoughts about him? Maybe you could blame it on the fact that you hadn’t exactly had the best luck with romance while in college. There was no other man who was interested in you like Wriothesley was. Most of the men around you were only looking for something short term, or just a quick fuck that wouldn’t mean anything at the end of the day. It was honestly a shame, but you shouldn’t have had such high expectations. Maybe you were a fool. 

You didn’t pay much attention to the presence that had appeared next to you. You assumed it was some random person who needed a drink just like you did. 

“Yeah, whiskey and coke, please.”

Your heart stopped when you heard the smooth voice speak beside you. A part of you didn’t wanna believe there was a possibility he was here after just thinking about him, but could luck be on your side? It took a lot of courage, but you eventually turned your head to place your eyes on the man beside you. There he was. Your ex, Wriothesley was sitting right beside you. You weren’t sure if you should even speak up and talk to him. Neither of you had crossed paths in years and you didn’t know if he would even want to talk to you. 

It didn’t take long for him to notice your staring, and soon enough, Wriothesley’s eyes made contact with yours. You never forgot the color of his ice blue eyes. He looked much older than he did before, obviously, but he seemed more mature. His body also seemed a lot more bulky than it was back in high school. Despite that, his scars still remain etched into his skin as permanent reminders of his past. 

“(Y/N)..?” your name left his lips in a whisper, seemingly shocked by your presence. 

You felt your heart rate begin to speed up from seeing his face. You didn’t think he would stay, but he sat there in his seat like a deer in headlights. You weren’t sure how to even respond. It was awkward. “H-Hi.. Wriothesley..” you said, trying to ease the awkward tension in the air. It felt so uncomfortable, but you didn’t want to leave. 

Wriothesley blinked, trying to take in the realization that you were sitting right in front of him. He hadn’t seen you in years. He vaguely recalled going to your home the day you left for college. He felt like shit knowing you were gone and he couldn’t say what he wanted to. It had been so long. It was like you were a completely different person, but at the same time he recognized you. He thought you were still as beautiful as you were the day he first laid his eyes on you. “Hey.. how are you? It’s been a while..” he turned his body to face you, giving you the chance to see his physical changes.

You laughed through your nose. Relief washed over you when you saw his soft smile appearing on his face. You thought he would just walk away, considering you were the one who broke up with him. “I’m good! How about you?” you asked, sipping your drink to try and calm your nerves.

He honestly was sitting there in disbelief. He didn’t think he’d ever have the chance to speak to you again. “I’m doing alright, haha! How has college been for you?” he questioned, nodding his head.

The conversation between you felt so weird. It was like you two were strangers, but at the same time you knew so much about one another. There was a time in your life where Wriothesley played such a significant role through your teenage years. You didn’t wanna see it that way, but it was difficult knowing there was so much that you missed. Did he ever get away from foster care? He was now over eighteen, so it’s not like he could be cared for anymore by a random family. Did he pursue his dreams of becoming involved in law enforcement? There were so many questions you had yet to be answered. 

Wriothesley revealed so much to you. He spoke about how he was able to go and apply to be a security guard at one of the clubs downtown, and with that money he managed to move out and get his own place. He seemed to be doing so much better in life than he was when you first met. He had somewhat of a personality shift as well. There was more maturity in his words and he listened more than he would talk. He was happy you were doing good in life. He wanted nothing but the best for you ever since you two had broken things off.

The evening hours crept up on you two, and the bar had become a little busier than it normally was. The alcohol in your veins also made you loosen up around Wriothesley. He felt the same way, but he was a little more sober than you were. He had a better grip on himself. It was honestly really nice to catch up with you. He really missed you. He didn’t like admitting it to others, but he often yearned to see your face walking around town. There was so much he wanted to say, but he wasn’t sure how to put it into words without sounding weird or making things awkward. 

“Do you need a ride home..?” he downed the rest of his drink within his glass. The last thing he wanted was for you to go home being slightly intoxicated and on your own. 

You hesitated for a second. You didn’t want to give the wrong idea to Wriothesley, but there was the part of you that would feel a lot safer if he was around you. “S-Sure!” you replied, picking up your things off of the table in front of you.

Wriothesley stood up, leaving cash for both of your drinks which you didn’t expect. Standing beside him made you feel somewhat embarrassed. It was like he grew overnight with how broad his body had become over the years. You never thought he would be the type to work out. He talked about it a little while back, but the way he looked now was insane to you. 

The two of you left the bar and entered outside. The air nipped at your skin from the slight chill that was in the atmosphere. Wriothesley walked over to his car that was parked in the lot. It was a really nice one, too. You pulled open the passenger side door and climbed in, getting hit with the strong aroma of his cologne that lingered around his vehicle. Once he climbed in, he glanced at you briefly. It almost seemed like he wanted to say something to you, but he decided not to at the last minute.

The car ride back was quiet. Neither of you spoke, and you honestly thought that’s where it would end. 

But, it didn’t.

Once he arrived outside of your house, there was something brewing between you two that was bound to burst at any moment. You didn’t know if maybe it was his cologne or how the alcohol made you bolder, but clearly there was something going on and both of you seemed a little hesitant to make a move.

However, that didn’t last long, because Wriothesley was the one who planted a kiss on your lips. 

It felt so familiar to you. Every little memory from your relationship played in your mind, making you recall things you thought you had forgotten. You missed it all. You missed his touch, his kisses, his hair that your nails used to dig into when you would make out, the way he would nibble at your neck to turn you on. It didn’t take long for you to end up on his lap with his hands all over your body. His kisses were rough, but passionate at the same time. It brought you back to the many times you two would make out in your bedroom while your parents were out of the house. God, you missed those days. Everything was so much more simple back then. 

Wriothesley’s hands lifted up your skirt, squeezing the plush of your ass. He remembered every little part of your body. He knew you so well. It didn’t matter how long you two had been apart. “Fuck.. I’ve missed you so much..” he whispered against your lips. “You don’t know how badly I wanted to go and find you..”

A whimper came from your lips when you felt his hardened cock brush against your clothed pussy. There was a part of you that wondered if you should actually be doing this. You two were ex’s. You were meant to be apart, but there was just so much about Wriothesley that you craved. He was practically your first everything back then, and those things are hard to just forget. “Missed you more, Wrio..” you panted, looking into his eyes. “Please.. I need you.”

He was a bit taken back when you guided his hand to your soaked underwear. His dick practically twitched when he made contact with your arousal. He remembered how easy it was to get you riled up. It seemed like that didn’t change at all. 

He wasted no time and pushed your panties aside to begin rubbing your clit. Your hand flew to hold onto his muscular shoulders. It felt so good. His fingers were all too familiar to you, and you loved it more than anything else. Wriothesley then pulled you in for a sloppy kiss. He swallowed every one of your pretty moans that kept leaving your throat. He just couldn’t get enough of you. 

Wriothesley’s hand left your clit several seconds later. His fingers fumbled with the buckle of his belt. You could tell he was rushing. “I need you now.” he looked at you then down at his pants where he began to pull them off.

You watched as his cock sprang out of his boxers. The tip was leaking precum. You somewhat forgot how big he was. The girth was quite large and his size was one that you thought you wouldn’t be able to take the first time. 

He placed his forehead against yours while his tip glossed over your wet cunt. You moaned in pleasure when he made contact with your sensitive bud. “Are you sure you wanna do this..?” he was breathing heavily, showing just how desperate he was for you. “We don’t have to.. but I just need to know now.”

You nodded almost immediately. “Y-Yes! Please, Wriothesley, I can’t wait anymore..” you begged, grinding your hips against him.

Wriothesley didn’t hesitate before pushing his cock into you. Both of you let out loud noises at the sensation of being in each other’s embrace. It had been so fucking long since you felt Wriothesley inside of you. He was stretching you out completely. There was this burning feeling, but you didn’t mind it all. It quickly faded to pleasure the moment he started moving his hips into you. His hands went to your waist where he started guiding you. There was nobody else like you. He loved you. It didn’t matter how far you went, Wriothesley always had that love for you. He knew it sounded dumb to be still thinking about his teenage love, but there was so much about you he just couldn’t get over.

It didn’t take long for him to find your g-spot. He could see in your expression how good you felt when he kissed it with his tip. You could hardly believe this was happening. You never thought you would be able to have sex with him again, but you had zero regrets in your mind about it. 

Your fingers laced into his onyx colored hair. You were so lost in bliss. He was better than any lame college hookup you had before. Part of you questioned why you even decided to leave him at the time. Sure, you two were on different wavelengths in life, but he was still a great guy regardless. He treated you like a princess. He never made you feel insecure or unwanted. He was perfect. “W-Wrio..! Yes, yes! Feels so good!” you cried, digging your nails into his scalp.

His grip on you tightened as you kept moaning for him. It was like he was reliving a dream he had. You were so beautiful. He didn’t wanna keep missing you anymore. “Yeah, you like it, baby? I missed you so bad.. I never stopped waiting for you, (Y/N). ‘M always gonna love you..” he captured your lips in another kiss that left you breathless. 

Your cheeks turned hot when he said those words to you. You thought after all of this time Wriothesley would hate you for breaking up with him. There was doubt in your mind that he would even wanna see you again, but hearing that he still loved you made you feel relieved. You still loved him too. “Missed you more.. Wriothesley! I love y-you!” you made eye contact with him. 

He was surprised to hear that you felt the same towards him. He assumed for so long you had moved on and found somebody else while you were in university. Somebody that was better than him in many aspects. Nonetheless, he didn’t care to question you. You of all people would never lie to Wriothesley, so he trusted your words more than anything else. 

Without warning, Wriothesley’s pace picked up. His balls began to smack against your puffy clit. Your vision grew hazy from the amount of pleasure that was rushing through your body. The pit in your belly was growing deeper, implying your orgasm was on the brink of reaching you. Wriothesley could sense it, too. Your pussy was squeezing his cock so hard that he thought it would be difficult for him to even think about pulling out of you. There was so much you two had to make up for. 

“Wriothesley.. I’m gonna cum!” your hands gripped his shoulders. 

His larger hand went around your throat. You could hear the way he was grunting. It sounded so erotic. “C’mon, baby, cum all over my dick..” he said, his voice sounding deep. “Be a good girl..”

Your cunt then clamped around his cock. A deep groan rumbled in his throat as he felt his own high reach him. His cum filled your womb, making you shiver from the warmth that was spreading from your belly. You could hardly keep yourself upwards from how tired your body was. You felt yourself slumping against him. 

His arm went to wrap around your waist, placing his chin atop of the crown of your head. He honestly missed nights like these, and he wasn’t going to let it slip away ever again.

© NXUVILLETTE ┆ all rights reserved, do not repost, translate, or claim as your own.

#·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ official work ! #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact smut #genshin x reader #genshin smut #wriothesley x reader #wriothesley x you #wriothesley x y/n #wriothesley smut

[to-kazuha]

: ̗̀➛ alhaitham with a reader who is sensitive to noise

ft. alhaitham

wc. 0.5k

cw. intentional lowercase ; unedited

disclaimer; this is a restart of a previous blog of the same name. all works published are my own.

alhaitham may not show just how much he cares about you, preferring to keep his affections to a minimum, away from prying eyes. this is why, among other reasons, people often question why you would want to date the acting grand sage. little do they know that he just may show his love for you in a different way than the typical person.

a good example of this, is how attentive he is to your person. making sure you don’t bump into unsuspecting corners, keeping a close eye on you to make sure you don’t get lost in the sea of people when you’re out, the list goes on.

but one thing that sticks out is how much he understands your aversion to auditory stimuli. given how he is very rarely seen without his own soundproof earpieces, one could say that he understands you more than other people do.

oftentimes you’ll come home, completely overwhelmed from a day of having to be surrounded by people. the incessant chatter and physical contact due to the business of sumeru city grew to be too much on the days leading up to the end of the week. luckily your boyfriend, alhaitham, was more than willing to accommodate you when you came home.

he always knew the telltale signs of you being overstimulated, coming home and doing your best to keep quiet, gently sitting down next to him on the couch as he continued to read his book. a hand would wrap itself around your shoulders, bringing your ear to rest on his chest. alhaitham had learned early on into your relationship that his heartbeat helped calm you and if he was feeling nice enough, he’d use his hand that was loosely wrapped around your shoulders to soothingly massage your scalp.

no words were exchanged, the only noise being the occasional turn of a page and kaveh doing his own thing somewhere around the house. alhaitham would wait for you to speak first before beginning a conversation, perfectly content to sit in silence with you while you recovered from the tiring week. sometimes he would read to you if you asked, even though the books he generally read weren’t to your taste.

alhaitham wasn’t a gift giver. there would be a few gifts here and there, items he knew you had wanted but couldn’t justify buying for yourself, things you might need, or something he saw that just reminded him of you. but these were few and far in between, which you didn’t mind at all, finding the times he did give you something to be more special considering it didn’t happen often.

but there was one gift you would cherish the most; a pair of noise cancelling ear pieces similar to his own, but in your favourite colour. he had been so nonchalant when giving them to you, but you could see the small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth at your joyful and grateful reaction, shrugging his shoulders and muttering an “it’s nothing” while patting your back gently and you gave him a bone-crushing hug.

the days where you’d come home completely and utterly exhausted had significantly lessened, gaining a bounce in your step as you greeted your boyfriend. the routine of cuddling with your ear to his chest remained though, not that either of you minded, even when kaveh would complain about pda in his presence. he could always move out, after all.

dividers from @/cafekitsune.

i do not condone the reposting or translating of my works anywhere. if you like my content, please reblog it instead.

#🖋️ ; raine’s poetry #⛅️ ; clear weather all around #to-kazuha #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #alhaitham x reader #genshin alhaitham x reader

[jintaka-hane]

Jintaka Masterlist

Hello! I'm Jintaka, welcome to my blog!

I've always enjoyed writing—finding it cathartic in my life—but due to various circumstances, I had to take a break for years. Now, with a newfound obsession with One Piece, I feel the urge to start writing again, this time with a double challenge: finding time in my life—as I am a mum—and doing it in English, which is not my native language.

If you're up for reading some of my stories, thank you! 😘 A comment is always appreciated 💜

I'm here to have fun, so please, be kind 🙏

Peace 🐦 and love 💕

Dracule Mihawk 🗡️🍷

Laundry in Kuraigana (x f!reader)

Living in Kuraigana comes with its own set of rules, and with a master as inflexible as Mihawk, they must be strictly adhered to. Frustrated by his lack of attention, you craft a plan to exact revenge through household chores. Alternative ending I Alternative ending ll

Benn Beckman 🚬

Want You Bad (x f!reader)

Part 1 - Part 2- Part 3- Part 4 Starting a new job is always a challenge, especially when one of your bosses seems aloof and distant with you. What's wrong with him? Is there anything you can do to earn his trust? The story of how Benn Beckman struggles to control his attraction to you while you remain completely oblivious.

Two Days (x f!reader)

The first officer of the Red Force and yourself have been navigating a long-distance relationship for quite some time. As he docks at your port, you have two precious days for a reunion. During his stay, both of you will recall the day you first crossed paths: a dreadful evening where nothing unfolded as anticipated.

Raisins (x f!reader)

A gift for @fanaticsnail. When you're hungry, you're a grump. And it's even worse when they bring you things you don't like.

Shanks 🗡️

A Specific Preference (Mishanks)

Shanks is feeling the Mihawk-shaped hole in his life and is ready to patch things up. His plan? To hit Mihawk with a prank that'll crack even the toughest swordsman. He's just missing one little detail, and he's dead set on getting it tonight. Will he pull it off?

Weaknesses (Mishanks)

Part 1 - Part 2 After a fight, there appears to be something amiss with Mihawk, as he moves peculiarly, his neck slightly askew. Shanks, concerned for his adversary, will try to help him, though the task may be as difficult as trying to pet a wild cat.

The Night Off (Shanks x gn!reader x Beckman)

Silly dialogue. You've met someone, and it's time to told your FWB about it.

Cabaji 🚲

Run, baby (don't) run NSFW (Cabaji x gn!reader)

Your former crew lost in the Davy Back Fight and you are the tribute to pay. As you step aboard Captain Buggy's ship, your mind begins to conjure ideas for escape, but there's someone who will make your stay not so unpleasant.

You might consider yourself clever, presuming to completely know him because you have explored every inch of his body, yet you remain unaware of the deeper emotions he conceals within.

Sir Crocodile 🐊

Sir Crocodile dealing with the Marine Time Clock Machine

Sir Crocodile doesn't like being controlled. And he won't be.

Paulie 🪢

No title (Paulie x f!reader)

Silly dialogue. Paulie isn't too pleased when you show too much leg, and arguing with him, you'll understand why. Between the two of you, you seek a solution.

Bogard 🗡️

Bogard lost the love of his life a decade ago. Immersed in his ascent within the Marines, he has endured your absence for years… until a random encounter shatters everything and confirms his long-held suspicion: your passion still burns. Desperate, he contemplates this forbidden love, trying to convince himself that there's nothing he can do to win you back again… or is there?

Fight for her (Bogard x f!reader based on Ghost Rose series by @i-am-vita)

#masterlist #one piece #one piece live action #x reader #red haired shanks #shanks #opla fic #opla #mihawk #dracule mihawk #benn beckman x reader #jintaka stuff #benn beckman #mishanks #fiction #cabaji #cabaji x reader #crocodile one piece #one piece paulie #paulie x reader

[the-hedge-hypnotist]

A Drunk Texan Stole My Identity.

I've had this blog since 2017. In those 6 years, I have been consistently active, sometimes more than others, depending on IRL factors, but in December I lost my Dad. To say that this was devastating would be an understatement. I made posts on my social media channels that I would not be active for awhile, because there was no way I could juggle things in my online life with the needs of my offline life.

The majority of people in the hypnokink community have been wonderful during this time. I received a handful of kind messages that really meant a lot. I would be remiss if I didn’t also highlight the kindness of a lot of the fetish models, I’ve worked with who reached out. They got hired for a job and could have left it at that, but many of them took time out of their busy lives to reach out. They’re great people.

And that brings me to the drunk Texan who I’ll just refer to as “James”. Although part of me wants to blast his full name all over the internet, I’m not. James decided to use my bereavement leave as an opportunity to impersonate me on Tumblr. He used the “Hedge Hypnotist” name, posted my content and claimed it was his own, and messaged people pretending to be me in attempts to hypnotize them. James has also stolen content from @qu1etdroprop (who is awesome and makes fantastic content). I’ve also been contacted by another producer who informed me that James has been pirating their content, which is not only illegal but a deplorable thing to do considering the amount of effort goes into making Hypnokink content, especially at a time when Hypnokink content is under attack.

James is a moron. While you might be thinking that he just does not know any better, let me tell you that James is in his 30s and has a kid. James knows better than to do this. His smug smile during his over a decades worth of mugshots and excuses when confronted about all of this (as seen below) lead me to think that he’s a narcissist who uses mental gymnastics to relieve himself from any shame or accountability for his actions.

Originally, I confronted James and was just going to leave it at that. There is a steep learning curve when entering the online hypnosis community and no definitive structures to educate or prepare people. Almost everyone makes mistakes in this community and, in most cases, I think they should be used as lessons to move forward in the future. This is not one of those cases. Identity theft is far outside from the typical learning curves within the Hypnosis Community and, as I’ve heard from more and more people about the interactions with James while he has been pretending to be me, letting him off with a warning is beneath the threshold of what his actions warrant.

If you interacted with James while he was pretending to be me, please let me know. The more I hear the more I’m considering legal action (something I’m becoming more and more well versed in due to insane people on the internet). If you've been wronged by him and want more information, I will be happy to give you more information.

I would advise against interacting with him. There is something wrong with him. He does not have any concept of how to operate on the internet, let alone within the hypnokink community, or even behind the wheel of a car for that matter. If his conduct online and his decade worth of mugshots are any indication, I feel incredibly bad for (as he referred to her) his “crazy latina ex”.

Here are some of his current accounts. I have no doubt that there are more and that he’ll change screen names in the near future. Please keep an eye open.

Usernames: DreamyDominant91#7395 SleepDoctor91 MasterKaa91 James Kay (Not his real last name) [email protected] Hypno Dream Master hypno-dreammaster

Also a huge THANK YOU to @pruning-the-minds-garden for helping to get the word out about this.

Apologies to all the awesome Texans in the world. Sorry you share a geographic region with this guy.

#Hypnosis community #Hypnokink #identity theft #James Kay #Texas #fuck around and find out #Drunk driver #Domestic abuser

[askanaroace]

How I Came to the Aplatonic Label

March's Carnival of Aros topic "Platonic Attraction" gave me the motivation to write about something I've been thinking about for a while.

Firstly, real quick, a blogging carnival is an event where bloggers are all welcome to post their own takes on a given topic. In this case, it's aromantic bloggers about "Platonic Attraction". Learn more about participating in the Carnival here.

So for a while, I've been seeing posts and takes about all these microlabels, including for different attraction types, and I've been thinking about my own journey with this.

By a technical standpoint, I would say I always fell somewhere under the aplatonic label. It's most likely related to how often we moved when I was a kid, teaching me that all connections were temporary and would be shortly lost upon the whims of my parents, leading me to be less interested and more resistant in forming these types of bonds that I knew I was just gonna lose anyway. As a result of this and likely in combo my natural feelings/instincts, I always had lower social needs than others seemed to.

I remember in high school (at the point where my mom put her foot down and said we weren't moving again until my sister and I were both out of school because we both had trouble making friends) where I even had an established friend group that was not only established but was more than one person. One of my friends admitted to me that they only invited me to about half of the things they did together because they knew that about 50% of those would be rejections anyway, so for their own feelings/mental health, they just didn't bother inviting me a large portion of the time.

And I was SHOCKED! And confused and even honestly hurt. My needs were low, but finding out like in that way that my friends had "secret" hang outs without me had me feeling all type of ways. And I couldn't even blame them. I knew I was turning down invites. It was just a lot to me. And the fact that my friends were meeting up even more than I knew was... I think that was the point where it really hit me how different I was from them. They REALLY wanted to be together a lot of the time. Way more than I could even handle.

And this was information available to me when tertiary attraction started becoming a named thing around the community. Yet still, it was not at that point that I had ANY interest in any of these terms whatsoever.

Much like being asexual, I knew that these types of attraction - aesthetic especially blew up first (to my recall), then sensual and platonic, and then alterous, etc. - just weren't things I felt. But unlike asexual, these were not things I was interested in labeling. I guess because these weren't things that I ever felt left out of. They're not things that allos typically label or even talk about in unnamed terms a lot. So, it's not something that was ever really relevant to my life. Whereas as an asexual (and then eventually as an aro, since I'm caedromantic and wasn't aro until later in life), THAT was an attraction type that impacted my perspective and relationships and the way I related (or was unable to relate to) others.

Even the first time I heard aplatonic, I didn't connect with it or feel drawn to it or consider labeling that way. I thought it was really interesting! It opened up my perspective a lot. But I felt at that time that I was involved enough in enough friendships that it wasn't applicable or relatable to me, even though looking back, I now disagree with that. But at that time, the label didn't have a draw. I didn't have a need for it.

It wasn't until later down the line when my needs really changed that the label became of interest to me. I'd never really had a strong interest in friendships, but around the time I realized I was caedromantic (or aromantic due to trauma), I realized other feelings had changed as well. Now not only was I completely uninterested in a romantic relationship and not feeling any sort of romantic attraction anymore, but socializing in general became specifically exhausting and undesirable to me.

Introvert had been enough to describe me before, but the way I felt now was more than that. I didn't just need alone time to recharge. Alone time was the only thing I wanted. Shallow connections could be fun and nice, but I really didn't want anything deeper than that. I was resistant and scared of anything deeper than that. I was okay with taking care of people behind the scenes, but I didn't want that sort of care returned or even acknowledged.

My social needs weren't simply less than others anymore, they were practically nonexistent and a core component of how I was interacting with the world. This change in my needs in not only valuing alone time but being exhausted by any socializing at all really changed my perspective on where I was going in life, as well as interacting with other people in general.

Suddenly, aplatonic became a very desirable label that helped me categorize what I was experiencing and realizing I wasn't alone. There were people out there who understood. I wasn't the only person who felt the way I did. I wasn't in an in between place where either label could be applicable. I was at an extreme end of the spectrum where aplatonic specifically was the only thing that could describe me, and that's the point where I needed a label. The point where I became so different from others around me where I really couldn't relate to them at all anymore.

Now this is not everyone's experience. People choose labels for a lot of reasons. This is simply one of my reasons for one of my labels.

#aplatonic #apl #platonic attraction #carnival of aros #aromantic #caedromantic #social needs #personal #long post #tertiary attraction

[becaexists]

I have been waiting actual months to be able to talk about my Night Shift OCs and @green-eyes-and-orange-ties has given me a reason with their 30DaysOfEchor challenge so here is their info for the week 1 prompts:

Character 1: Ino Aristos

Full name: Leucothoe Diana Aristos (maiden name: Jones)

Nickname: Ino, due to her parents being big classics nerds, as Ino was the original name of the Sea Goddess Leucothoe ("white goddess"), Loco, Dia, birdbrain

Pronouns: She/They (FtNB)

Age: 22 (Birthday: 6th August, Leo)

Disabilities: auDHD

She was born Veil-Touched after her mother got stuck in a veil anomaly while pregnant with her. She was born with black wings, though they are barely usable, she can flap them, often doing so subconsciously as a stim. As she's aged, feathers have began to grow on other parts of her body, such as her ankles and chest and the back of her neck. She also has a small magic where her hair can move like a limb, which she can use to pick up small objects.

Her mother and father are happily divorced, as they were in a lavender marriage and ended up with Ino after a very emotional night where they decided they both wanted a kid, and her father is now married to another man, and her mother is happily single. Ino's cousin happens to be one Miles Beaumont on her mother's side, they grew up in the same area so were quite close before Miles went to study law. Ino is also expecting a baby in late may/early june with her partner Atlas.

She considers home to be wherever she finds her people: her family, her wife, her friends, even the veil itself, but physically her apartment is in Downtown Echor, just about in the cheap enough for the two of them when only one can work (her VT traits make it a bit hard to get a job)

Character 2: Atlas Aristos

Full name: Atlas Kore Aristos

Nicknames: Kore, Kora, Crabcake, Nebula

Pronouns: She/Her (MtF)

Age: 22 (Birthday: July 9th, Cancer)

Disabilities: Autistic, has a slight lisp due to weird teeth (I'll elaborate later)

Became Veil-Touched aged 13 after her father, who disapproved of her transness, locked her outside during a veil event (he has since lost custody of all three of his kids and is serving time for child-abuse and neglect). She has spikes on her arms and ankles, tiny horns on her head (which she hides with up-do's), blood that glows when it reacts with oxygen, all of her teeth are sharp + her canines stick out over her lip, and has "nebula hands", where her hands, which are usually a sort of soot black due to being VT, become covered in blue fire that sparks, making it look like a nebula, with the sparks as stars and the blue-fire-on-black being the space holding it together

Eldest of three sisters. Her parents are also divorced, her father getting full custody of her but not her sisters from age 10-13 because "he wanted a son to carry his bloodline on", saved by her mother after the Veil incident. She is married to her partner Ino, who she met online on Tumblr after Atlas started a "life as a teenage shade" blog, which Ino related to as another teenage VT. They are expecting a baby together later this year in late May/ early June. She has always wanted a cat and a border terrier after Ino showed her pictures of her dads' border, but none of the apartments she's lived in have allowed pets.

Home is her partner's arms. Home is the dancefloor at secret VT clubs and bars. Home is the bathroom at her mom's house where her sisters taught her how to do her makeup. Home is under the veil lights, dancing with the love of her life. Home is the tucked away apartment in downtown Echor she shares with her wife, which she's going to share with their child, where she can be herself and happy.

I hope you like them!!! You might recognise Ino's description from the November chapter of LRPD, I threw her in as a fun way to torment my favourite punching bag Angelo Volta. So excited to do this again next week!!!

#30daysofechor #30 days of echor #EchorOCs #I also made playlists for the two of them #they have a lot of matching songs #if I was gonna write them into the show #they'd be literary devices to parallel Sebastian and Angelo #literally reflections on what lives the two of them could have led #Sebastian could have grown up safe with loving parents and studied what he's passionate about and been happy with what he has like Ino #Angelo's parents could have divorced and he and his siblings could have been saved from their father's abuse like Atlas was #who knows I might write their story in a fic in the style of the episode transcripts #Ino does so love to talk about her wife #night shift podcast #night shift pod

[danggirlronpa]

FAQ

Now that we’ve got some of the Big Long FAQ Content out of the way, we can finally post an FAQ for The People! This will be updated as needed.

Last updated 12/17/2023.

Who exactly are you?

You can call me Peach! I got into Danganronpa when the Game Grumps started playing it, and haven’t quite been able to drop the interest since. I’m a 25-year-old nonbinary lesbian, and I’m currently working towards a career in video games. It's just me running this thing, so please be patient waiting for me to get back to you!

There’s a post I want you to reblog/I made something that would fit on this blog/I found something I think you should see.

Awesome! Please send a link through the submission box – I’ll take it from there! Note that it may take some time for any posts to show up on the blog. I also try to keep the blog relatively safe to browse in public, so I reserve the right not to post anything that I judge as too risque.

You are also free to @ me on posts, but keep in mind that Tumblr's blog tagging doesn't always work for me; submitting is generally the safer way to do it!

Will you tag for [X]?

I will tag anything upon request. This does not have to be triggering content - I do my best to tag all characters and ships within the post so they're easy to block or track. If the current tag is difficult to blacklist, I would be happy to add another tag! I will never ask why you want something tagged. If you send the ask off anon or request I not post it, I will answer the ask privately/add the tag without posting the ask. If I ever fail to tag something that I usually tag, please inform me right away.

You can find a full list of current trigger tags under the Blog Policies!

What happened to brackets?

Right now, brackets are on hiatus while I search for a job and take a game design certificate course! I'll be getting back into them in February 2024.

What's with the "for anon (:" tag?

There are a few blog policies that have generated some pretty nasty messages in my inbox. To save me the headache and my followers the annoyance, I make it a personal policy not to respond to them; instead, I just quietly reblog the content again and move on. These topics include:

Chihiro on the blog. You can find the reasoning in this post! The quick version is that I personally find most Chihiro headcanons perfectly valid, but due to the transphobia inherent in their canon depiction, it is important to me to acknowledge the popular fandom reclamation of the character as a trans girl.

Miyadera/Sister Shinguji. I outlined my full opinion on this here, and this is an important follow up! The quick version is that the degree of violence people wish on Miyadera makes me extremely uncomfortable considering her lack of canonical presence, and it reminds me of famous misogyny-driven character hate.

Will you still tag those topics for blacklisting?

Absolutely! The 'for anon :)' tag is to discourage aggressive asks, not to mock anyone who has issues with the subject.

A post where skin was lightened wasn't tagged/you tagged a post for whitewashing but it wasn't lighter than the canon skin color! Why do you keep doing that?

I have a TERRIBLE time distinguishing colors. I'm one of those people who has a ton of difficulty telling shades of the same color apart, and it's even more difficult for me to eyeball when they've changed the tints but not the lightness. You're just gonna have to tell me anytime a post like this comes up ): Sorry for the inconvenience!

Why do you reblog [X] type of "problematic" ship, but not [Y]?

Danggirlronpa sits somewhere on the line between an archiving project and a fanblog. Over the years, I’ve seen many fanworks and fandom history lost due to blog deletion and movement across platforms. This blog is intended to preserve all of this content for newer audiences and maintain an easy-to-use interface. As a preservation project, I try not to impose too many moral restrictions on what I reblog, even when it makes me personally uncomfortable. However, since this isn’t a professional archiving project, I’ve allowed myself one or two arbitrary standards for things that truly cross the line towards what I personally find uncomfortable.

If this is a project for archiving F/F ships, why do you reblog posts with just one girl?

Due to the nature of some girls’ popularity in fandom, there is a huge discrepancy in the amount of content for each of them. To even that playing field a little bit, I tend to reblog content for less appreciated girls, even if it isn’t actively sapphic.

What about why you reblog whitewashing?

Whitewashing and other forms of covertly racist, homophobic, and transphobic expressions in art are an important thing to archive because they show us the ugly side of fandom. For all four notably dark-skinned girls in DR, even after getting notably less engagement than their light-skinned peers, deleting every post that lightens their skin would cut their presence on this blog by half.

Ultimately, this blog aims to preserve the ugly parts of DR and its fandom, too, whether that be giving dark-skinned characters monkey companions in official merch, Atua jokes, trans Chihiro discourse, or blind hatred of "bitchy" female characters. While uncomfortable, they are something to note and learn from. If any existing tags do not help keep these off your dash in the event you don't want to see them, I highly encourage you to ask me to tag in a way that will be easy for you to block!

The OP/person you reblogged this from is problematic!

I have, in the past, been harassed due to the spread of misinformation through call out posts and other word-of-mouth. The harassment I experienced led to a suicidal relapse, and I still have a great deal of trauma from it. As a result, I am very cautious about asks like this. You are always free to send me information about someone questionable in the community, but please know that I will generally handle the issue quietly, and will not directly respond to you about it at all if you are on anon.

How do you feel about X current event issue?

Unless I have overwhelming approval to do so from followers, which I would only ask for in the event of a charity or benefit project, this blog will be a permanent safe space from real world issues. I may talk about oppression that I have personally experienced, but I will not bring up major current events.

For the same reason, please do not ever expect a DNI from me. I reserve the right to refuse discussion about anything, and block anyone, that I choose. While this is a project to help others, I feel strongly about setting my own boundaries, and will exercise my right to do so!

My question still isn't on here!

Drop it in the ask box! My messages have previously gone completely offline, so asks are the safest way to reach me.

#faq #mod talks

[queenheritageposts]

not me getting kinda sad seeing the number of dead and deactivated blogs on these posts (i mean it happens to all fandoms eventually. but still)

naurrrr you’re right 😭

it is an interesting observation on how big the fandom once was

i can’t say much about 2018 and earlier considering i didn’t become a queen fan until 2019 but even then 2019 and early 2020 a lot more blogs and accounts i feel like were still active with queen content

but like you said it happens 🫡 probably due to the hype of bohemian rhapsody dying off and after the awards some people simply got bored with either deactivating, abandoning or remaking their blogs and moving into different interests and since nothing big as a movie has been released then it’s inevitable the fandom is gonna slow down especially with a band that doesn’t make new music anymore for over 20 years and the lead singer has passed away and the bassist has retired

heck, i fell off of queen for a bit around late 2020 and didn’t come back until 2022 lol

i highly doubt the fandom will ever get to the big state it was around the film’s release unless bohemian rhapsody 2 gets announced which uhhh

anyways it’s sad but i am glad to be around again and even if it’s not the bustling fandom it once was on here, i still enjoy being a queen fan and enjoying their music ❤️ and it’s still neat to see who still sticks around or even the newer fans!

and besides even when i was in my first phase of being into queen and the fandom was still big let’s just say the fandom was hectic to say the least…instagram fandom was discourse abound lol it was chaotic time but at the same time i do still miss what a more big fandom brings at least on tumblr; seeing so much cool fanart and people having fun discussions about their albums it was pretty cool! while ofc people still do this, it seemed to have been to a much bigger extent during bo rhap’s release, but i am also at the same time glad that era is over and things died down a bit

but back to your point it is kind of sad to see all these blogs either be inactive or straight up deactivated

sometimes i find these blogs that haven’t been updated since like 2019 and it’s an interesting time capsule of once was the queen fandom lmao

these inactive blogs are like dinosaur footprint fossils…in a way idk

anyways watch as i am wrong and bohemian rhapsody 2 and like another unreleased hasn’t seen the light of day 2 hour documentary from another tour of theirs just gets dropped on us

i hope bo rhap 2 never happens but getting another documentary that nobody has seen in half a century would be cool though

also unrelated and apologies for all these tangents i went on, but i want to one day make a queen iceberg video that sounds fun honestly 🤭 and also queen lost media too? maybe i can make some posts about those topics one day idk, but i do plan on probably debunking a fake story post on here that has over 100k notes so stay tuned 👍

#asks #alexlifesonofficial #not a heritage post #queen

[your-local-terror]

Hey everyone! I need your help!

I have been looking for a movie I used to watch as a little kid for a long time now, and I'd consider it lost media, I will be posting on every one of my platforms until something is uncovered, if this goes on long enough a separate blog in search of this film will be made. Here is the reddit post I made explaining what I know about it, and if you do not wish to read it on the site I copied what I said and it will be under the cut

Note; link might not work I am struggling to keep the post up lol.

Hey everyone, I am trying my best to find this film, I do remember it to an extent, and I will be explaining everything that I know here. Please note, I watched this a lot when I was younger, maybe around the ages 6 or 7, and I have already tried looking for this for months. (Also please excuse any grammar/spelling mistakes, English is not my first language, and I am only typing what sounds right.)

First, the title. It was something along the lines or mangy/maxie/mangemouse. It was always 'something'mouse that started with an m, but at the same time last night while I was looking and trying to remember exactly what it was called, it could also have been started with an f, either that or my memory is tricking me.

Now onto the story, I do remember the basic plot and what happened so I will try to make this as detailed as possible here, but please note not everything will be to the dot. So mangy/maxie/mangemouse[I think i'll call him Maxie for sake of shortness] was made by some old clay sculptor, who enjoyed making little clay mice, and I remember that in his home were some talking mice as well who would come out to watch him finish his product, I don't remember if he knew or talked to them, all I knew is they were talking mice. One night, he was finishing up with painting a little mouse with blueish-grey fur and a red cardigan. He brought it over to some type of metal tube which he set it on a tray and moved it into the (what I can only assume was an) oven. He then leaves the house and goes through his backyard to his own home and goes to sleep.(I'm not sure if he did cross his backyard or not so take that part with a pinch of salt) The next day he gets up and looks outside only to realize that in the house where the clay he made last night was burning (he could see smoke no flames) so he got up and ran to the room in which the clay mouse was cooking, and the tube thing was smoking so in a panic he opened it up and brought the mouse out, which was now a bit deformed, as it had long cat-like back legs and big rabbit-like ears, and the fur was no longer bluish-grey and was now greyish-blue, almost a light royal blue color. I also think it was missing it's tail? Anyways, upset that his clay mouse was ruined he brings it into his home and puts it on his nightstand, I do not remember much else from this scene but I do remember when he went to bed again, some magic stuff happened and Maxie was brought to life, and then snuck out of the house to go off on his own.

Now, there are a lot of plot holes from here in my mind, as the 2 other scenes I remember are far apart from one another and I'm sure there was stuff in between each of them, so please excuse how random this feels.

Now the thing I remember next is Maxie meeting a schoolgirl, she feeds him half of her sandwich and lets him rest in her pocket while she goes to school. After school some bully kid makes fun of her for something, and he takes Maxie from her, and she's scared that he's gonna hurt the small creature so she bites him on the hand hard, to which he lets Maxie go. Maxie stays with the girl as a teacher comes over to make sure she says sorry and scolds the boy a bit for being mean to her at all (the girl was crying by now too due to the stress of the situation) Once that is all covered the teacher gets the girl to talk about Maxie, and explains to both of them that Maxie's species is some special species who has to go meet with a mangy/maxie/mangecat to get eaten and fulfill a prophecy (almost everyone he meets recognizes him as this and tells him so, and his quest then turns into one of finding this mangy/maxie/mangecat thing) and he then leaves the girl with a tearful goodbye.

The next scene I remember is Maxie being in a circus, and befriending a tiger, whom he helps escape, there is also a scene with him scaring the elephants and such but otherwise I don't remember. Then he runs off with the tiger, who is then chased by dogs as the police want to hunt it down and kill it. He helps the tiger escape by doing something as distraction with scent and otherwise I do not remember anything else form here, aside from when he went home he rode in a truck and the tiger was on the radio. I also believe the tiger was killed at some point in a car wreak due to this. Or just injured, either that or the tiger was in the car because now that I think about it, someone tried to steal it by putting it in the trunk, and thus caused a chase scene that caused someone to die, most likely the person driving or the tiger (they crashed into a tree)

Now, onto the final scenes I remember.

Our dear friend Maxie takes a train I believe to get to where the mangy/maxie/mangecat is (for this I will call them Mange) and visits their home, he is welcomed in with open arms and they sit down at the table and eat crackers while Mange's wife (another mangy/maxie/mangecat) starts to cry and excuses herself. While she is gone, Maxie and Mange discuss that Mange will have to eat them in a ceremony, and how neither of them would like that to happen but it must be done. For the rest of the movie's tone, even the tiger death, this was a really big tone shift as it got more serious for a bit. After that, they get ready and head out to a stratum where Maxie is set on a plate for Mange to eat, while mice and cats watch on from the stands, mice yelling protests and cats cheering Mange on. There is a whole scene where Maxie avoids any knives/forks Mange tries to jab him with before Mange cries and exclaims that he does not want to eat Maxie, and instead they will become friends and thus screws over whatever prophecy was going on (there was no magic or curse that went with it so it wouldn't like, damn everyone if they didn't do it) and Maxie and Mange decide to become neighbors, with Maxie living in a tree growing above Mange's house (which is like, half of the hill) and Maxie marries a field mouse and has a bunch of kids and that's where it ends.

Side notes; Maxie can speak to everyone in this movie, all previous friends are never brought up again once he leaves them (as they were only plot relevant for that time) and the entire movie has a studio ghibli kind of theme for the art style, I also think that Mange and Maxie had real names that they were given, but I am not aware.

I have been looking for months and therefore I have no references, because even looking up plot points or variations of the name or description of the characters I get nothing. Please I ask of you all to help me reunite with my childhood, I'll continue to look on my own end, but some outside assistance would be absolutely wonderful. If anybody gets any small speck of information, I would greatly appreciate it. I will be sharing this story on other platforms as well (as the form of a copy-paste) in hopes of finding something, thank you for your time.

#lost media #the search for the blue mouse #reblogs are really appreciated!

[coreytravelogue]

St. John’s, Newfoundland, Canada - December 31, 2023

So the day I was dreading since the last time, the day I leave Newfoundland and do not come back for another year. Anyone who reads this blog knows of this, I do this every year and every year I hate it more and more because it hurts more and more leaving. It doesn’t get easier for my parents either as we are all aware that time is getting shorter and shorter for us.

Time has been a big theme for me this year and during my 38th rotation on this earth. The we are on the eve of the new year so it is only fitting that I talk about 2023 now. My past 3 weeks were short but they almost always are but 2023 was long, painful and full of attrition. I did a lot of fighting this year; some I won, some lost and some are undecided.

My first battle has been my longest battle, with the airlines which started with Flair be it the booking, cancelling, rescheduling and cancelling again from Flair on the various flights I tried to book with them.

2023 was supposed to be the year I returned to traveling only to be scared out of it by getting screwed over by every airline around. I traveled to Calgary first which was delayed getting there but all things considered that trip went without a hitch. I had never been to Calgary or I should say explored Calgary before, only ever passed through. I may glad I did as I had lots of fun exploring the place.

Right before my next trip my next battle was with COVID-19. I was able to dodge it for 3 years or so, it was inevitable and to be honest the timing was as good as it could be but enough to make me never want to have it again.

My next trip was Toronto which would be my last truly long distance trip till Edmonton due to all the flight arranging shit fuckery. Of all the times I have been to Toronto I think this time was the best but I came with the a game plan and made the most of my entire time.

My next fight was with my employer via strike where for 2 weeks I walked around in a circle in the rain. While it cost me some of my pay cheque we won and I would not regret it for a second.

Through the summer I would fight airlines while another bit of workplace drama would loom and turn into its only thing but this is not the place I wish to bring that up but it was a source of a great deal of stress (still is) as my workload increased to the point of burn out which led to my Edmonton and Victoria trips to say hellos and possible goodbyes to friends I may not see very often anymore. As I type this it may have been a cry wolf as I expected that I would be moving to NFLD by now but that seems to be an unlikely as being in a relationship at this point.

Closed year 38 in Victoria again in a great trip and ended 2023 now with being in NFLD. I ate a lot, hung out with family a lot, watched a lot of movies and spent a lot of time thinking about 2024.

Reflecting on 2023 it was one of the most stressful years of my 30s, I can’t say it was the darkest that would be 2021/year 36. Despite it all I feel as though I have grown and improved.

My alcohol consumption if you didn’t look at the last 3 weeks was significantly lower in 2023 than it ever has since 2006. I lowered my social media bullshit. In 2023 I went weeks without drinking, I am hoping to go months without drinking this time. I know I can keep myself from being triggered online, this year it is about keeping myself from getting triggered.

I really only have one New Year’s resolution but it is a big and all encompassing one; to improve myself physically and mentally. That is truly it.

2024 is going to be a big year for me, it will be the last year of my 30s, workplace stuff going on, and continued growth. I plan on finally adventuring out of Canada this year be it USA and/or Japan. January will be Montreal but after that is up in the air. I don’t know if I will be able to make any big plans till May when all the smoke with my work clears but I do plan on traveling.

I have always tried to attack the year and try to make it as good as I could and I always find myself leaving too much on the table in fear of other things. This year I need to not have that fear unless it’s big. I doubt I will close my 30s like I closed my 20s but I can try to make it just as fun.

So let’s get 2024 started. Shazbot nanu nanu

[bread-gobgob]

Hi.

Mod Kanik here. I'd prefer to be called K. I do not go by this in real life, but if this post is ever found by its other owner, I do not want them to know my name.

WARNING. THIS POST DISCUSSES A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN A MINOR AND AN ADULT.

This blog was never all that active. The story Eni and I were writing was a wonderful escape from our horrid realities and was made better our writing together. I do not consider this blog a big part of my life, obviously. We never had any followers, we never put that much effort into it, but I do consider it a big deal. This blog is all I have left of Enigma. That is not a good thing. I think if I post this it'll give me the closure I need.

When bread-gobgob was created, I was - based on the dates of the posts - fifteen years old. For nearly three years, I had been chronically online and had developed a terrible bout of agoraphobia. This was the result of many things that I won't list, but most of all it was the result of a very long co-dependent relationship.

Usually, I really wouldn't find this relationship to be that big of a deal. Recently, I have been diagnosed with traits of BPD, I tend to be dependent on people. I tend to have unhealthy traits. I'm trying to get better at not doing that. However, the relationship I had with Enigma was an incredibly big deal. In fact, it was a huge deal. I was fifteen. Enigma was twenty.

I cannot keep my composure while talking about this, I apologise for that, but I'm not aiming to keep my composure here and act mature. I'm aiming to tell my story, because Enigma was an inherently fucked up person and I need to vent. I need to talk to someone about this. I need them to come back and see this at some point and understand what they did to me.

To tell the truth, their age never stood out to me.

I lost contact with Enigma right before my sixteenth birthday. I believe it was the eleventh, maybe twelfth of July? We had stopped talking long before that. I will give credit where credit is due, it is Enigma's sysmates that initiated the loss of contact. Engima was removed from their position as host and the system, from what I know, decided it would be best to ghost as they did not know any other way to tell me they didn't want me in their life anymore.

I thank them for that.

Since losing contact with them, I've made friends. I moved schools (I went to college) and made friends who weren't held hostage by their phone their whole teenhood, and I have spoken to these people about Enigma. I have spoken with my therapist about Enigma. I had long, long talks with my ex-girlfriend about Enigma.

All three parties had only one thing to say about it all. That being, that I was groomed.

My relationship with Engima was a struggle, but I want to be clear: our dynamic was only romantic for around nine months out of the three and a bit years we knew each other. I want to be even clearer: it was NEVER sexual. Not once. But it was unhealthy. PAINFULLY unhealthy.

I'm shaking as I write this so I apologise if this doesn't make sense. When I knew Enigma, they also had an extreme case of agoraphobia. I do not think they ever did what they did out of genuine ill-intent, I think this was just their very fucked up way of showing they cared. But that doesn't matter, because it was still manipulation.

I missed out on a lot of my teenage years - when I first got into a relationship with Engima (April 2019), I was twelve, turning thirteen and they were seventeen, turning eighteen. When I told them my age - a few days after my thirteenth birthday - we stayed together for another five months. They broke up with me on Jan 1st, 2020 because they were uncomfortable with my age. This was over Skype. They said that, in future, they'd be happy to get back together if the opportunity came about. They said that they would prefer to wait for us to both be adults before meeting. I agreed to this and we went on as best friends. But in spite of this breakup, we only grew closer.

When I say I missed out on a lot of my teenhood, I mean I never got to experience the big things. I never went to parties, I never smoked weed, I never got drunk, I never kissed anyone, I never went out with my school friends, I never went outside.

I'm sure a lot of people go without these oppurtunities. Most of my friends didn't smoke weed or drink simply because they never got the chance. I'm not salty that I never got to try substances or mess around with a stranger at a party. That's not what I'm saying. I did get the chance to try those things. I got invited to parties and I got asked to come sesh with people and I got asked to go to town and window-shop with my buddies. I declined everything I got asked to. I declined because when I told Enigma about my weekend plans, they would freak out.

Freak out at me and at themself. The idea of me going outside, to this person, was like a threat. I would say "[name] and I are going skating tomorrow!" and Engima would have the panic attack of their LIFE. That, or they would ignore me for multiple hours. Enigma didn't like the idea of me going outside. It got to the point that I cancelled plans out of fear that they would off themself if I stepped outside. The fear came from the idea that if I was busy, I wouldn't answer. If I didn't answer, they would panic. If they panicked, they would hurt themself.

And it was like this until my last year of high school. I live in Australia, we don't have middle school. We got straight from primary school to high school, and then we head to college when we hit seventeen. There were five months of my four years of high school where I didn't have this person on my back, telling me I couldn't do this or that because they NEEDED me.

Enigma and I's last messages to each other were late last year after my leaver's dinner. I sent them photos of my dress and new hair and all that, and said I was living my life now. They sent me a message back and we exchanged words about how these days, it was so much easier to go outside and do things because we weren't nervous that we were gonna miss a message about something bad.

I know that throughout my relationship with Enigma, I was very panicky and very dependent. In their last message, they made it sound like I had done the exact same thing to them? I argue that they were eighteen-twenty-one and I was thirteen-sixteen. Fuck that. You were an adult and I was a child. You claimed to be so much more mature than me and claimed to know what was best for us, so I raise you the fact that you were an adult. A UNIVERSITY STUDENT. And though you broke up with me, you stayed in contact, even though I was FIVE YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU AND TO THIS DAY STILL AM A MINOR and made me think that if I left you, an adult, alone for more than an hour, YOU WERE GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOURSELF.

FUCK YOU HORRIFIC SENSE OF MORALS AND YOUR FUCKING "oh but we were so close and I was so attached and-" FUCK THAT. You were an ADULT. You should have blocked me BACK IN 2019. I DIDN'T NEED CLOSURE. I NEEDED TO BE TALKING TO ANYONE, ANYONE MY AGE. You shouldn't have needed me. I was not capable of fixing you.

You don't realise it, but the effects you had on me were insane. I take melatonin now because YOU used to get mad at me for falling asleep. I hallucinate your voice when I have panic attacks, I dream of you and I sitting alone in a void when it's been a long day. I panic when I don't have my phone on me. Recently I lost it, left it with a friend who then got on a bus with it, and the panic attack I had was HORRENDOUS. I thought I was going to get a message from you, August this year, and miss it and completely fuck everything up.

I have cried over you tirelessly, I have written stories upon notes upon letters to and about you. You have thoroughly ingrained yourself into my head and you just. won't. get. out.

I am working towards getting over it. Leaving my phone at home while going on walks, not bringing chargers to school, putting my phone on do not disturb, completely deleting discord and skype from my computer AND phone. But I don't think I'll ever really escape it. Not before I get out of school anyway.

I will not speak on my relationships with the others, as I respect them far too much for taking action when realizing that what was happening was unhealthy. There is one other alter, however, that I am willing to talk about. Not because of anything bad. Simply because I need to come clean.

K. You know who you are. I don't care if you read this or not, it feels wrong to say it all, but I can't keep myself from saying it. You'll probably never see this, but I think telling you will help in some way toward my healing. Here goes.

So far as I know, I'm aromantic. Romance repulsed. But occasionally, you cross my mind, and I remember how desperately in love with you I was when we knew one another. Enigma always said, "you fixed him!" I think that was very poor wording. I didn't fix you, K. You fixed yourself. All it took was some form of kindness, and you learned to open up. Slowly. I'm so proud of you for that. I don't think I'll ever love anyone as much as I love(d?) you, K.

I sound ridiculous at this point, but you'll never read this, so fuck it. Talking with a very nerdy friend of mine recently, I realised why you got so odd when I promised to braid your hair one day. I don't take it back. If it weren't for how things went, if it were a different time, different circumstance, I would marry you. In a heartbeat, I would let you braid my hair and I would braid yours. I hate to admit it, because I hold so so much resentment in my hands and jaw, but I absolutely would. You were so so special to me and I don't think I could ever be mad at you for what happened. You are the brightest bit of the spots of light in the darkness of my teen years.

I send my respect to JF, who always made me laugh. To PB who always held wonderful conversation. To B, TMM, and THM who made me feel powerful and respected.

Thank you to those in the system who provided me comfort during a very scary time. We should not have known each other in the first place and, to be honest, I don't remember most of you. But you were there and you were not my abuser and I recall snippets of joy from some of you. Thank you. I'm sorry it turned out like this.

K.

[pielplastica]

Almost 4 years ago I made a promise to someone very special to me. Before she was gone of my life I told her that I would be a better person. I told her that I would work hard to keep a job and that I would follow my dream of becoming a Nurse.

I've had many jobs since. The last one I kept for a year until I was fired because I was so tired of it and decided to stop going and almost quit. At least I got more money that I would have gotten if I did quit.

I never tried to apply to the Nurse Faculty due to not really having the motivation of doing so. And yeah, covid. I didn't had a laptop back then so online classes was a complete no-no for me.

I've been lost for this 4 years but I do not regret what I did and did not do during that time because I was learning and healing.

I've met a lot of people who I can now consider as true friends who have helped me in more ways that I can describe and I owe them so much. I connected with long lost friends last year who are now an essential part of my life and that I'm so glad to finally have them back. I started going to therapy and even though I haven't been able to afford it, now I can because I found a new job that I actually enjoy. And yes, I finally found a new job: fast food. And I love every second of it. You can call me crazy but I do enjoy making food most of all, there's a satisfaction I can't define when I see people enjoying what I and my co-workers made with so much passion and attention. I've been working there for a month but now I'm a leader trainee so I'm most than glad that my effort is being recognized by my leaders and manager.

This year, back in March, I applied to the Nurse Faculty and did the entrance test back in May 26th. I stopped playing WoW and every other videogame for 3 months straight (I'm sorry Sub-Zero Guild, love you guys!!!) so that I could focus in just studying day-in, day-out. My days were just waking up, working out and studying. For 3 months I also walked away from every social media that I still use, that includes this one. I deleted my last blog because I knew that I would be spending so much time waiting for something that wouldn't happen but now I'm back just to update you.

I got in. Out of the 380 available spaces I scored the 16 highest score in the entrance test and all I could say is: thank you. I knew that I should've done it for me but when we spoke last year and the beginning of this, you reminded me of what I want to be, and that's the person that you thought that I was back then.

You don't know how much you've been helping me even though we don't speak anymore. I'm eternally grateful for what you taught me.

I made you a promise and now I'm on my way of finally make it true. I'll work hard everyday of my life so that I can be the person that I want to be. I'll work hard everyday of my life so that you know how grateful I am.

And, if you ever read this, I want you to know that I'll move forward. I'll always love you and keep you in mind. Always has and always been. But now it's time for me to start walking on my own. I love you. I miss you. But I can't keep wanting you back when I know that's not going to ever happen again, and I can finally say that I accept it. I'll try to be as active as I can on here so that you know that I'm still alive and try to update this once in a while if anything interesting happens but for the time being I will focus on my work and my studies. And I want to let you know that even though I'm planning on moving forward, if you ever need someone to talk to: I'll always be happy to hear from you. And I'm waiting anxiously for the next part of your writings! You got me with that cliff hanger changing the part2/2 to a part2/?, I'm looking forward to read what's next. Anyway, I think that covers pretty much what's been going on with me for the last 3 months. Until next time.

See you cowgirl, someday, somewhere!

#MARA.

[ashes-writing-corner]

Life update

Aka life sucks and I hate it

Tw for dark/suicidal thoughts (don't worry I haven't and will not do anything)

I'm trying so fucking hard to try and do better for myself. I've dedicated myself to a writing project, and one that I love, and I'm not getting anything for it. I don't know what to do for it. I get nothing. I get no likes. No reblogs. No followers. I actually lost one...out of SIX! Five followers on my writing blog and that's it.

I'm gonna try and keep things as organized here as I can because I am really damn emotional right now. I have had some really dark thoughts this morning and I don't know what to do.

For folks who don't know, I work at build a bear as my primary job. And I love it. I absolutely love it. It's been a big part of helping heal from some pretty bad stuff. The problem is I don't get a lot of hours. I get paid more than what I did when I was working fast food, but I don't work as much. I'm pretty sure you can see how this is a problem.

This is part of the reason why I started a patreon. I eventually do want to make writing content my full time job. I know it's not easy. And maybe I'm being a little hasty and expecting too much too fast, but I am in a pretty serious financial bind. I have a phone bill due, I have to put money on my bus pass so that I can continue to go to work. I also have a bearded dragon who I still need to get food and supplies for (no matter what he comes first. Mostly food. Little man eats better than I do). All the while I am struggling to feed myself and struggling to help my mom and my sister with bills. My mom's boyfriend is an abusive prick who barely does anything for her. He brings junk food to the table and that's about it.

I earn so little now that I practically can't even afford to put money away. I put any spare change I have away in a lock box so I can turn it in at the end of the month. But it's all getting to be too much.

And today it's just really hitting really hard. I can't get a second job because I can't handle two jobs that I can't control at the same time. I can write whenever I want so thats why I can handle juggling my job and this.

I thought when I moved my life up here to the north that I would get far more support. And it would seem so to anyone on the outside looking in. But since I announced my patreon launch, no one has supported me. No one has asked me how my writing is going. No one has asked me anything and barely given me any encouragement. I feel like no one actually cares. I feel like no one gives a damn except to make themselves look/feel good. And that sucks beyond words. It makes me feel used if I'm being honest.

My situation has actually gotten so bad that I seriously considered this morning trying to find a way to end it all. My parents down south hate me. My older sister doesn't speak to me even to check on me. And I thought that it was okay, that I didn't need them. I have my biomom and my sister up here and we help each other but it's just...not enough. I just feel very dark about everything right now. I'm not gonna do anything crazy, I don't have a means to and right now I'm just sad and feeling worthless and like I'm putting all this work in for nothing.

Essentially I'm working on two books at the same time. In addition to In the Heart of Winter, which I post here, I'm also posting lore on my patreon for my story to sort of help fill in the blanks for things I might not get around to in the story. And it's a lot of work. In addition, I also make the collages at the beginning of each new chapter, and I post those to my Instagram. Basically the only things I post there. I just...I feel like I'm doing all of this for nothing. And a part of me is wondering why the hell I'm even bothering.

And I tell that part of myself that I'm doing it because I want to. Because this is my dream. And dreams aren't easy. They're hard work and dedication. Even though I feel like my world is crashing down around me, I can't give up. I won't. It's not easy, but I've never needed easy. All I need right now is possible and that's what I'm going for.

If you can, if you read this far thanks, but if you can, please, please donate to my patreon, it's in my pinned post, and please follow my Instagram. Should also be linked or at least it's got the same name as my blog here. When/if I make a YouTube channel, I intend to link that too. I feel pathetic for this but I really feel like I don't have a choice.

Thank you

#life update #depressed #sad #feeling down #tw suicidal thoughts #needing support #needing help #i dont know how else to do this

[claumanlambus]

Bye 2022, Hello 2023!

Hi everyone! How time flies! It's already 2023! It’s so nice to see I was able to make two blog entries last year. I tried my best! Anyway, I just wanted to share my 2022 highlights because it's been such a wonderful year for me and my family! I wanna share how grateful I am for all of the blessings we received over the past year. I really felt optimistic that 2022 would be a good year for us and indeed it was! Even though it hasn't been really an easy year for us, I am still grateful.

It just feels surreal! I am still in awe of how things turned around for us in 2022. First, is my promotion as a Lead Trainer. I've been a Training and Content Developer since 2018 and I am actually unsure about my career path. I am somewhat considering going towards the leadership path but felt it's just not really something I wanna pursue for now because I don't want other responsibilities that would make me spend less time with my family or for my self. I was actually happy with my role but then I've been in that position for 4 years already and probably got too comfortable with it. That is why I tried working on more projects and helping out our team more. Being a Lead Trainer is the next best option for me since it’s a role where you don’t actually have people under your bucket yet but just working more on the analytics side of the whole Training Team. Luckily, out of all the other eligible candidates from my teammates, I was able to get the post. I am really thankful to my leaders for believing in my abilities and entrusting me with this position. Of course, I worked hard for it too, and prayed and hoped to get this because I know I will definitely learn new things and enjoy this role.

Another blessing we have received is for my partner. His long-awaited Bar Exams finally pushed through after waiting for two years! Xavier graduated from Law School in 2020 but the pandemic happened so it got postponed for quite a while! It's been a struggle because I’ve been the sole financial provider for our family ever since he resigned from his job last 2016 to focus on Law School and with the bar exams getting delayed, our plans for our family was greatly affected. I know, It was a significant risk we took and it’s a total struggle but we just hoped and trsuted that these sturggles will be worth it someday. I just can’t explain all the details because it will be a very long story, but glad we were able to survive. But of course, the waiting and the agony doesn't end when he took the bar exams. We were dreading about the results because that is a make or break for our future. But by God's grace, my partner passed the #BestBarEver and is now officially a lawyer! ♡

However, it hasn’t been all sunshines and rainbows for us. I know this one I'm about to share isn't something to celebrate but maybe God's reminder that despite all the achievements and blessings we received, we should not forget our loved ones who have been with us all throughout the things we have been through. We lost our first family dog, Ginger. Ginger is Xavier's gift for my 25th birthday that is why she is really special. She’s been with us for 7 years. The whole time while Xavier’s in law school. What makes it harder is we were out of town when she left us. Ginger has been the most loyal and strong out of all our dogs. Prior to Ginger we already lost 2 furbabies, Twix and Cali due to Ehrlichia. I can't help but blame myself because we've been so busy with other things that sometimes we tend to neglect our pets. It's so heartbreaking thinking that they deserve better but my partner and I have really tried to be a better furparent for them. But I guess that's just life. This made us feel we are not really ready to have pets in the meantime especially since our youngest child is still a toddler.

Despite the heartbreak we experienced in losing a pet, I guess it's just something we have to experience to be able to move on and be ready for the next phase of our lives. This is really something unexpected but we were finally able to get a place of our own. We got our own Condo! After years and years of renting, God finally answered our prayer.

Just a short story, Xavier and I decided to live together in 2014. Since we don't have the financial capacity yet to get a place of our own, we just rented. We have been renting for 8 years. In between, of course, we hoped and tried to look for our own place but just really can't because of our financial situation. The unit we got right now is something we've been eyeing since it was pre-selling I think around 2015 or 2016. You have no idea how bad I wanted to get a unit here because of the location, the amenities plus the unit size and layout are definitely way better than the other Condos we've seen online. But you know how things work. it won't always get in our way so I just kept on praying and hoping that someday we can finally get a unit here. Well, I guess God is really listening and got tired of how stubborn I am so he finally gave in. LOL! Just kidding! We just have to believe that great things take time. God probably just tested our faith and patience to see if we are ready and deserving of this.

We just trusted him and believed it will not always be struggles. I just can't believe how things are aligning for us at that time. Since Xavier can help me out with our finances because he finally got a job as a Lawyer, we were finally able to get our unit! and I am proud because this is something that we worked hard for on our own.

Here's a photo of our community from our balcony:

I had fun deciding what furniture and appliances we should get since our condo unit obviously has bigger space than our apartment. From choosing the curtains, pillows, decors, plants, and many more! I'm actually still not done decorating our interiors and still enjoying buying stuff for our home. That's my guilty pleasure right now! I guess that phase won't end anytime soon. We also celebrated our first Christmas and New Year here and I am already excited and looking forward to the next holidays, actually! Now, we have been here for 5 months. Turning 6 months by the end of January.

I am excited about what 2023 has in store for us. Hopefully, this will still be a good year for us. Of course, we will continue working hard for a much better future. I am excited to share more stories through my blog. Hoping that I could get more time to post this year.

[workers-compensation-lawyer-ma]

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[circus-mythos]

I’ll take this first post to introduce myself and give an idea of what I want this blog to be about.

You can call me Phoenix. I’m 25 years old and use they/them pronouns. Ever since I was 14 years old, it’s been my dream to be in a circus and perform. I saw a recording of Cirque du Soleil’s “Quidam” and I was instantly sold. I watched as Isabelle Chasse performed a beautiful aerial silks routine and I knew I, too, needed to be in the air. Luckily for me, there happened to be a circus studio just 10 minutes from my house at the time. After finishing the colour guard season for my high school, I started lessons right away, beginning on the silks, static trapeze, and Spanish web and eventually moving to lyra as well. I ended up taking much more of a liking to trapeze and consider it my niche. Years passed and I continued circus training through high school and college, though not without hiatuses due to school, moving around, having to find new studios to train at, or injuries. But I consider myself a phoenix because every time I’d take a hiatus, I’d come back stronger, more passionate, and better. I even had a brief stint as a proper freelance performer, making about $100 a day to perform at weekend festivals (this, of course, was not enough to pay my bills though).

Ever since graduating university, I’ve had my fair share of 9-5 jobs. I knew that it wasn’t where I’d shine or wanted to be, but I did it because, well, I needed the money. I tried very desperately to hold onto the dream of being a performer, opening my own studio, or starting my own troupe, but as the days passed in a dreary office job, that dream seemed to slip from my hands. I felt like I wasn’t afforded the necessary time to train to really compete for the small amount of slots for performers such as myself, so I gave up on auditioning. But, I thought, at least I could hold onto the dream of opening my own studio or starting my own troupe. Unfortunately, I had no one to mentor me on starting a business, and since I only took private lessons and did solo freelance work, I was pretty disconnected from other performers so I wouldn’t even begin to know who to ask to start a troupe with me.

Things ended up getting pretty discouraging after the teacher I’d been training with for years became too busy to train me anymore. While I understood, I was nothing short of discouraged. I was lucky enough to find a pole studio that also happened to teach aerial classes that was willing to rent out a hookup point for just $10 a day. I did this for a while, but there’s only so much I can do without a teacher to help me learn new things (the studio did not have anyone who could teach trapeze, which was all I was focusing on).

And then I lost my job.

The company I’d been working for was bought out and they decided that, in turn, they’d dissolve the department I was apart of because they saw no value in it. This meant that I was to be let go and have been unemployed since August 2023. Of course, this is not for lack of trying to find a job. But, if you’re in the same position I’m in, you know how difficult it is to get companies to even look at your resume, let alone give you an interview. And since I was in a car accident where I sustained a back injury that does not allow me to stand for more than an hour at a time, retail jobs were out of the question (not that it mattered much, because even before my car accident, I applied for retail jobs and wasn’t called back by any of them). I opened an Etsy shop, but sales are few and far between, even with daily advertisement. My parents were generous enough to let me do clerical work for them to help me out as much as they could.

Even before I was let go, I could feel the depression I’d worked so hard to manage creep back. Losing my job and being rejected over and over again for months by companies and running out of savings certainly didn’t help to do anything but exacerbate it. I became suicidal again. I went through several medications, all of which worked for a few weeks before putting me in a spot much worse than before. I’d tried all the coping mechanisms in the book and nothing helped, even as a distraction. At some point, I got to a point where I was constantly in a state of panic. Not just anxiety. Full on panic. I’d wake up several times throughout the night from nocturnal panic attacks, so sleep was limited. My mental state got so bad that it started to affect me physically as well. I needed something. I had to do something. I wondered what else I could do that I hadn’t already tried.

One day, while my dad and I were in the car, he asked me, “If you could do any job in the world, what would you do?” “Circus performer,” I answered quickly, not even needing to think. It was because I had answered that way that I realised I maybe hadn’t completely given up my dream as I thought. Somehow, there was still hope in that, no matter how small. I had lost hope in everything else. I was convinced I’d never find a job; for the life of me, I couldn’t think of my purpose in life or any reason to keep going; the people I called friends were unreliable at best, with the exception of one person who lived out of state; I wasn’t in a relationship (nor did I have a desire for one, truthfully); while I greatly appreciated my family’s help, I knew they’d never really understand me (not entirely their fault, I hid an awful lot from them). When I realised that I did still have hope in that dream of connecting with the stage, no matter how deeply buried it was, I decided this is what I needed. I had to try. This is all I had left. And, being unemployed, what better time to devote to starting this troupe—my illusive Circus Mythos.

I have a lot of hard work ahead of me, and I know that. I ordered the book The Contemporary Circus Handbook: A Guide to Creating, Funding, Producing, Organizing, and Touring Shows for the 21st Century by Eric Bates. It arrives on Friday. I plan to start reading it right away.

For now, as I start to get off the ground, the blog will mostly be notes on the book as I read it and my thoughts. As things progress and more develops, I’ll post more progress updates here. I hope you’ll join me in my journey, and I appreciate each and every one of you that do.

#circus #jobs #personal #trapeze #performer #cirque du soleil #depression #mental health