#he and rdj are really good friends

[oathkeeperoxas]

I watched and ranked every Tom Cruise movie so you don’t have to

Simple premise: 45 movies. One actor. Ranked from worst to best, on a sliding scale of -2 to 6 (scoring will make sense as you read).

Technical score is judged on how well the plot is constructed and how well the characters grow and serve their role in the narrative throughout the movie, as well as how well the narrative is written. Enjoyment score is judged on how much I liked the movie: no stars = didn’t like, 1 star = like, 2 star = really like. Bonus star is awarded at my discretion, for reasons such as costuming, soundtrack, particularly stand out acting, etc. Sexism modifier is a negative if women are treated badly, but can add an extra point if the movie gives women their rights. Overall score at the end determines where they sit in the rankings of this post, with movies having the same score in the order I liked them most.

Vanilla Sky (2001) – David Aames (Starring)

One sentence summary: A man’s reality begins to warp and he is forced to question what is real, and what isn’t.

Technical: -

Enjoyment: - 

Bonus: -

Sexism: 💥💥

Overall: 💥💥

Review: This is a bad movie. Weird acting throughout. Nonsensical plot. Terrible treatment of the women. Definitely the worst movie Tom Cruise has starred in!

_

Tropic Thunder (2008) – Les Grossman (Supporting)

One sentence summary: Five actors who are filming a war movie are dropped into a real war zone completely unaware, and must use their wits to escape back to their movie set.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: -

Bonus: -

Sexism: 💥💥

Overall: 💥

Review: LOTS of choices made in this movie! Very few of them good! Why was RDJ in blackface? Was I supposed to find this entertaining? Was any of this necessary? Doubtful. Jack Black and Jay Baruchel had great comedic presences, and honestly the acting and casting was spot on for what the movie wanted, which is why I gave it one technical star.

_

Endless Love (1981) – Billy (Cameo)

One sentence summary: A teenage romance goes wrong when a boyfriend burns down his girlfriend’s house in an attempt to win the approval of her parents.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: -

Bonus: -

Sexism: 💥💥

Overall: 💥

Review: They made movies differently in the 80s, I think. The plot is insane, the main characters unrelatable – or maybe I’m just too long out of high school. In any case, this was Tom Cruise’s debut film, and he did it in booty shorts while advising his friend to pretend to set his girlfriend’s house on fire, leading to him actually setting his girlfriend’s house on fire, and it was the best part of this movie. What a way to start a career.

_

The Mummy (2017) – Sgt. Nick Morton (Starring)

One sentence summary: After disrupting a tomb, Nick Morton (Tom Cruise) must defeat The Mummy.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: -

Bonus: -

Sexism: 💥💥

Overall: 💥

Review: Yeah… there’s a reason this movie is a meme. Cruise’s acting feels weak, the plot is verging on nonsensical, and the special effects made me laugh. A rare miss in Cruise’s later years of acting!

_

Mission: Impossible 2 (2002) – Ethan Hunt (Starring)

One sentence summary: Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) must stop a plague by teaming up with a thief who knows the man who intends to kick off the disaster.

Technical: -

Enjoyment: - 

Movie: ⭐

Sexism: 💥💥

Overall: 💥

Review: One star is discretionarily awarded because it’s set in Sydney and I recognise a lot of the locations they filmed in. Though I have no clue how Luther was getting internet connection on a sheep farm out somewhere in western NSW. Did they have satellite internet in 2002?

_

Eyes Wide Shut (1999) – Dr. William Harford (Starring)

One sentence summary: After his wife confesses to fantasising about cheating on him, Dr William Harford (Tom Cruise) toys with the idea of actually cheating on her, and has an insane night out in the process.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: -

Bonus: -

Sexism: 💥💥

Overall: 💥

Review: Well SOMETHING happened in this movie. Hot tip, do not go into this one blind on Saturday movie night with your family in attendance. I think, personally, that Dr Hartford could have just sat down with his wife and asked her if she wanted to get into roleplay instead of doing all that. Also, did we really need to see Nicole Kidman pissing? I just really think that wasn’t necessary.

_

Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002) – Himself as Austin Powers (Cameo)

One sentence summary: Austin Powers must stop Dr. Evil from world domination by travelling back in time to 1975.

Technical: -

Enjoyment: - 

Bonus: -

Sexism: 💥

Overall: 💥

Review: This is some blend of satire and crack, and I’m not really enjoying the flavour. Tom Cruise’s cameo is pretty funny, though.

_

War of the Worlds (2005) – Ray Ferrier (Starring)

One sentence summary: When aliens land and start destroying Earth, Ray Ferrier (Tom Cruise) must do all he can to keep his family alive.

Technical: -

Enjoyment: -

Bonus: -

Sexism: 💥

Overall: 💥

Review: Well… this exists, I guess. Some of these old sci fi novels should not be made into movies. They were not meant for the big screen. Not even Tom Cruise can save this one.

_

All the Right Moves (1983) – Stefen Djordjevic (Starring)

One sentence summary: After a disagreement with a teacher, Stefen (Tom Cruise) thinks that he might never get to college and never leave his hometown.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: -

Bonus: -

Sexism: 💥

Overall: 💥

Review: This sure exists. Very unmemorable, even while I was watching it. Generic in music, plot, character, and romance. Anticlimactic ending too!

_

The Color of Money (1986) – Vincent Lauria (Starring)

One sentence summary: Vincent Lauria (Tom Cruise) tries to make money by playing pool, but is too good at it for the betting scheme his mentor attempts to set up in order to get rich.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: -

Bonus: -

Sexism: 💥

Overall: 💥

Review: I will admit I found this movie fairly uninteresting, though I enjoyed Tom Cruise’s wild haircut. Nothing but respect for Vincent’s “Vince” shirt, however.

_

Days of Thunder (1990) – Cole Trickle (Starring)

One sentence summary: A street racer is pulled onto the Nascar track, where his attitude gets him into trouble with his team, other drivers, and the woman he’s interested in.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: -

Sexism: 💥💥

Overall: ⭐ 

Review: Two sexism bangs for Nicole Kidman’s ‘romance’ scenes (girl why did you come back to do more movies with this man). The car racing is pretty cool though. I am partial to a good car race, I must admit.

_

Interview with the Vampire (1994) – Lestat de Lioncourt (Supporting)

One sentence summary: A vampire sits down with a reporter to tell the story of his life: one that starts with how he was turned into the vampire, and continues to the present day.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: -

Bonus: -

Sexism: 💥

Overall: ⭐ 

Review: Lots of stuff going on in this movie. However, mostly I agree with the well known review that spawned a thousand memes: “Not gay enough.”

_

The Outsiders (1983) – Steve Randle  (Supporting)

One sentence summary: Two friends are caught up in the complicated politics between the “Socs” and “greasers” gangs; when one friend accidentally kills a rival, they go on the run from the police before returning home to face court, their family, and the opposing gang.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: -

Sexism: 💥

Overall: ⭐ 

Review: Patrick Swayze is kinda carrying this movie honestly. Though Tom Cruise’s denim on denim, wild accent, cake-stuffed-in-face beat ‘em up sure is a performance too. You can tell this is an old movie by how affectionate the boys were allowed to be with each other. Absolutely none of that around nowadays.

_

Mission: Impossible (1996) – Ethan Hunt (Starring)

One sentence summary: When his team of Impossible Mission Force agents are killed, Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) must track down the person responsible. 

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: ⭐

Sexism: 💥💥

Overall: ⭐ 

Review: While there are many (many, many, many) liberties taken with reality in order for this movie to be made, it is iconic for a reason. That being said, the wild subplot of Ethan’s tutor trying to set Ethan up with his wife sure was something! Bonus points for starting such an iconic franchise and, of course, the spy movie scene of dropping from the ceiling and barely not hitting the floor.

_

Magnolia (1999) – Frank T.J. Mackey (Supporting)

One sentence summary: I don’t know how to summarise this movie. Taking suggestions from the audience.

Technical: ⭐⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: -

Sexism: 💥💥

Overall: ⭐

Review: I don’t know how to review this movie. Was NOT expecting the frogs, that came out of left field to be sure. I think Kubrick’s vision passed me over. Anyway, two sexism bangs for having Tom Cruise invent the incel motivational speaker 😭

_

Born on the Fourth of July (1989) – Ron Kovic (Starring)

One sentence summary: Ron Kovic (Tom Cruise) signs up to the Army, fights in the war, and deals with the repercussions when he comes home.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: ⭐

Sexism: 💥

Overall: ⭐⭐ 

Review: This movie suffers from the same problem that all movies which are ‘true stories’ have, which is that life rarely neatly fits into a narrative structure, but it manages fairly well anyway. Bonus points given for the BTS trivia that apparently Cruise asked to be injected with some drug that would temporarily paralyse him so he could experience what it was like to improve his acting??? Cruise’s insurance company wisely refused to let him do this.

_

Minority Report (2002) – John Anderton (Starring)

One sentence summary: In a future where murderers are arrested before they commit their crime, Chief John Anderton (Tom Cruise) is predicted to kill a man he’s never met – and must escape his own police force in order to prove his innocence.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: ⭐

Sexism: 💥

Overall: ⭐⭐ 

Review: I had to watch this about 10 times in high school so I was hesitant to come back to it now, but it’s an okay watch when I’m not discussing its contribution to dystopian literature.

_

Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One (2023) – Ethan Hunt (Starring)

One sentence summary: On the hunt for the two parts of a key which will allow him to control a new AI threat, Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) must sacrifice in order to save the world.

Technical: -

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: -

Sexism: ⭐

Overall: ⭐⭐

Review: Media very rarely gets plots around AI right, and this one unfortunately misses the mark. It asks no new or interesting questions about how AI is being used or will be used in our modern world, and seems to take a detour from previous Mission Impossible films in terms of tone and consistency of plot. However, Haley Atwell slaps absolute ass, and there are genuinely funny and enjoyable scenes scattered at random throughout the movie, so it definitely could be worse.

_

Legend (1985) – Jack (Starring)

One sentence summary: After a princess plunges her kingdom into endless winter, she must reverse the curse to save the land.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: -

Bonus: -

Sexism: ⭐

Overall: ⭐⭐

Review: A win for diversity! The princess almost ends the world, and also is allowed to save it! Special effects were pretty decent for the mid-80s, even if the plot was a bit basic. Seeing Tom Cruise go all Tarzan and also have a sword was very good, however.

_

Oblivion (2013) – Jack Harper (Starring)

One sentence summary: Jack Harper’s (Tom Cruise) mission in life is to protect the last of humanity – or so he thinks.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: -

Sexism: -

Overall: ⭐⭐

Review: Morgan Freeman steals the show here. I enjoyed the plot twist both at the middle and the end of the movie, and the ending scene wrapped everything up emotionally. 

_

American Made (2017) – Barry Seal (Starring)

One sentence summary: Barry Seal (Tom Cruise) works triple time for big money while dodging the law, taking aerial photos for the CIA, smuggling cocaine into the USA for the Medellín Cartel, and delivering guns to the Nicaraguan Contras based in Honduras.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: ⭐

Sexism: 💥

Overall: ⭐⭐ 

Review: A movie that’s “based on a true story” and which does it right. The informational sections were balanced neatly with the character development and exploration of what this amount of money might do to a family. 

_

Rock of Ages (2012) – Stacee Jaxx (Supporting)

One sentence summary: Two burgeoning singers meet at a rock bar, which needs to put on a hell of a show in order to avoid closing down.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: ⭐

Sexism: 💥

Overall:  ⭐⭐

Review: Extra points for the killer soundtrack. Otherwise, this movie is fairly unmemorable. Tom Cruise’s hairstyle sure was a choice though!

_

Taps (1983) – Capt. David Shawn (Supporting)

One sentence summary: When the students of a military boarding school hear that their school is to be shut down, they stage a protest that rapidly spirals out of hand.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: ⭐

Sexism: 💥

Overall: ⭐⭐ 

Review: It’s hard to have sexism in a movie where there are literally no women, so this one is getting a default 💥. Other than the fact that women don’t exist, this was a pretty good movie, with the extra star granted for the depth of character portrayed, Tom Cruise’s buzzcut, and the acting of all the younger kids on set. 

_

Rain Man (1988) – Charlie Babbitt (Starring)

One sentence summary: After his father dies, Charlie Babbitt (Tom Cruise) discovers he has a brother after he inherits everything in his father’s will. 

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: ⭐

Sexism: 💥

Overall: ⭐⭐ 

Review: I really liked how this movie showed that despite how money-hungry Charlie Babbitt originally appears, he goes through an entire journey where he realises how important family is – no matter what form that takes. To see a main male character reflect and regret on his poor relationship with his father and also express the ups and downs of other emotions throughout this movie is refreshing, and Tom Cruise does an excellent job at portraying the journey taken. While it’s obvious he prefers action movies, I actually think Cruise’s true strength is in the dramas he does.

_

Top Gun (1986) – Lt. Pete "Maverick" Mitchell (Starring)

One sentence summary: Pete Mitchell (Tom Cruise) attempts to prove that he’s the best Naval Aviator by winning the Top Gun trophy, and also by winning the heart of his teacher too.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐⭐

Bonus: ⭐

Sexism: 💥💥

Overall: ⭐⭐

Review: Wow. There’s a LOT going on here. It’s impossible to discuss Top Gun without mentioning the blistering sexism that pervades this movie, but since it’s about the Navy in the 80s, no one should be surprised it’s there. However, it also manages to be one of the gayest movies of the decade. Contains multitudes! Bonus points for Val Kilmer’s amazing performance and the insane homoerotic tension that is as inextricable from this movie as the sexism is.

_

Valkyrie (2008) – Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg (Starring)

One sentence summary: Before D-Day, a plot to kill Hilter from within the German government unfolds.

Technical: ⭐⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: ⭐

Sexism: 💥

Overall: ⭐⭐⭐

Review: Full of tension and drama, this is a ‘based on a true story’ movie that’s done right (probably because liberties were no doubt taken). A different type of WWII movie, I definitely liked this one. Bonus star for the set and costuming, which were truly excellent.

_

Lions for Lambs (2007) – Senator Jasper Irving (Supporting)

One sentence summary: Over 90 minutes in real time, 2 marines defend a position in Afghanistan, a Senator is interviewed on a new military strategy, and a college student decides if he’s going to commit to his classes or not.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: ⭐

Sexism: -

Overall: ⭐⭐⭐

Review: I’m not American, and it’s not 2007 anymore, but this still hit really hard. Excellent use of the real time narrative to drive the story home deliver the message to the audience.

_

Cocktail (1988) – Brian Flanagan (Starring)

One sentence summary: While attending university, Brian Flanagan finds work as a bartender to pay the bills before he finds the way he’s going to get rich – and finds friendship and love along the way.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: ⭐

Sexism: -

Overall: ⭐⭐⭐

Review: This soundtrack slaps, it’s a cute romcom, and there are cool bartending tricks scattered throughout. It also deals with some more serious topics, but these add to the depth of character and the main relationship to bring extra flavour to the movie.

_

Losin' It (1983) – Woody (Starring)

One sentence summary: Four friends travel to Mexico in order to party hard and lose their virginity.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐⭐

Bonus: -

Sexism: -

Overall: ⭐⭐⭐

Review: The second half of the movie is far better than the first, with a spiralling series of events that had me laughing at every new development. Tom Cruise playing the straight laced kid was a genius decision, and I can see why he repeated this type of role a few times in future movies. 

_

Far and Away (1992) – Joseph Donelly (Starring)

One sentence summary: Irishman Joseph Donelly (Tom Cruise) joins forces with Shannon Christie (Nicole Kidman) to cross the sea to America, where they aspire to travel to Oklahoma in order to start a new life, where land is being given away for free.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: ⭐

Sexism: ⭐

Overall: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Review: Very much the best of the movies that Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise collaborated on, I did enjoy this one from start to finish. The costumes are great, but the bonus points go to how bloody and beat up Tom Cruise consistently is in this movie. Yes, go and get back into that fighting ring again. It’s good for my health.

(continued in the next reblog because tumblr will only let me add 30 images per post)

#tom cruise #movies #reviews #Endless Love #Taps #The Outsiders #Losin' It #Risky Business #All the Right Moves #Legend #Top Gun #The Color of Money #Cocktail #Rain Man #Born on the Fourth of July #Days of Thunder #Far and Away #A Few Good Men #The Firm #Interview with the Vampire #Mission: Impossible #Jerry Maguire #Eyes Wide Shut #Magnolia #Mission: Impossible 2 #Vanilla Sky #Minority Report #Austin Powers in Goldmember #The Last Samurai #Collateral

[tangosenpai]

Bokuto x fem!reader

"You're perfect, baby."

contains: f!reader, heated sex, shower sex, top Bokuto, insecure reader, chubby reader, oral (receiving), praising, mentions of depressing thoughts

-------

(Y/n's) p.o.v

"I just, look how sexy he is! It's RDJ for goodness sakes!" My best friend, (Bsf/n), exclaims. We step off the escalator, meeting both of our boyfriends at the bottom. I laugh as Sugawara gives (bsf/n) a look, making her shrug her shoulders.

"C'mon, (Y/n)! Let's leave the boys to do their own thing~" She sung waving goodbye to her boyfriend as well as mine.

Bokuto pouts, planting a kiss my lips on his as a goodbye.

"See you later, love bug." I stroll behind

(bsf/n).

•~•~•

"Hmm what about this?" I ask holding up a light blue lingerie set to my skin, (bsf/n) tilts her head looking at it. She scrunches her nose a little bit.

"Top or bottom?"

"Ummm...? I don't know?"

Now that I think of it. Bokuto is very subby, not that I normally take the lead or anything. He is always the one who acts like the baby in the relationship.

"Well I am of course the top!" She says smirking widely strutting away to another part of the lingerie section.

"Yeah, I find that hard to believe."

"That's rude!" (bsf/n) pouts, holding up a lacey pastel pink lingerie set to her body. It complemented her (s/c) and her (h/c) hair.

"That looks super good. I can see Sugawara now, but that's a gross image."

"That's pretty!"

I turn around to what (bsf/n) was talking about stopping in my tracks to see a light yellow bra. It was pure lace but the silky kind, white ribbon-type fabric hooked it in the middle with a small red rose attached. The pantie's were high waisted. The fabric was silky lace that matched the bra but in the back.... well there really is no back. It's just a white ribbon that connects with the rest of the fabric making a bow. This looks like something Kou would like.  I pick it up, pulling her to the register.

~~~~~

(bsf/n) and I walk arms linked, towards the food court to see the boys at a table on their phones. She immediately unhooks our arms when her eyes fall on Sugawara and books it towards him. She clings onto him causing him to be startled.

"Hi baby!" I place a kiss on Bokuto's pouting lips.

"I missed chu!" He gives me puppy dog eyes and shoves his head in my chest. Then suddenly shoots up and tries to take my bag from my hands.

"Kou!"

"What did you get me?"

"Nothing."

Then... Bokuto becomes depressed Bokuto making me sigh.

~~~~~

"Ngh! S-Suga!"

Seriously?

SERIOUSLY!

"mmph." Bokuto murmured in his sleep as he pushed his head further into my lap. I slam my head back into the headboard.

"SHUT THE HELL UP WILL YA? WE'RE TRYING TO SLEEP!" Kageyama's voice booms throughout the walls.

As if hes any better. To be honest Bokuto and I don't have sex often. Bokuto never seems to be interested in it even if Kuroo and he only talks about ass and boobs. When ever I seem to be in the mood he brushes it off.

Maybe I'm not attractive in that way?

No.. No, I can't think like that. Gosh, I need to get the shower.

I tuck my hands under Bokuto's head, softly rubbing my thumbs on the sides of his temples before gently lifting him off of my lap and putting him on the light blue pillow. I smile softy, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the side of his temple.

I unfold my legs from under me and get off the bed, walking into the bathroom that was connected to my room. I didn't bother closing the door as there was really no reason too. I pinch the fabric of my sweater, pulling it over my head sloppily. I turn to the mirror and trace my finger over my tummy. I pinch the fat in between my fingers, grimacing. I tilt my head. Am I beautiful? I never really thought so until Bokuto. I always knew that I was mediocre. I was such a mediocre person that even for someone like Bokuto to like me was hard to believe. Before I never thought I would like someone like Bokuto, but now it feels like I can't even breath without him.

If I'm not physically attractive then him not wanting sex is understandable, right? I mean I wouldn't want to have sex with me either. When is the last time we even had sex? Four months ago? No. Longer. It shouldn't matter but I've been so horny lately.

I slip my leggings off my legs along with my black underwear. I walk to the shower turning it on before slipping off my bra. I step in the shower, the blazing hot water trickling onto my skin, leaving a satisfying feeling rave through my body. I shut the glass door and lean my forehead against the wall. I bite my lip and hold myself from crying. I'm really not that pretty. Not enough for him.

"Why did I even buy that lingerie? I'm not pretty to pull it off. He would never want me to. I'm... I'm useless. I'm just better off-"

"Shh. You're beautiful, my beautiful baby." Light kisses were pressed under my ear. When did he get in here?

"K-Kotaro.."

"Shh."

Arms circle around my waist and pulls my back side against his. Fingers trail down my tummy, dipping down to my hot sex. I twirl my head up to meet his gaze. My (e/c) eyes meet his bright yellow orbs. A dominating stare glares into my soul. Bokuto's fingers circle around my clit slowly as his other hand trails up to my breast and pinches my nipple lightly.

"So fucking beautiful."

Bokuto's head dips down to my neck, his lips planting a light kiss. Light licks against my skin send shivers down my spine while Bokuto's fingers get rougher and slowly starts to put them in. His finger stretches my walls as he gently puts two more  in.

"Ah, Koatro-"My head slams back as he roughly plunges his fingers in and out, sliding them in and out as if it was the easiest thing he has ever done. My legs begin quiver as I try to hopelessly grip onto the wall to keep me up.

"Cum baby, my beautiful baby."

As if in on cue my orgasm takes over as light moans leave my mouth. Right as I cum Bokuto takes out his fingers and replaces them with a bigger thing.

My walls stretch as Bokuto slides in his cock, a small bite is placed on my shoulder. The feeling of Bokuto's wet hair falls onto my shoulder as slight gasps escape from him as he get's rougher. He goes deeper and the deeper he goes is as if I can feel it further in my stomach.

"Ah shit, you feel so fucking good. Good baby, good baby. Mmm so fucking beautiful."

Our moans bounce off the walls as he plunges. I feel his arm reach down and lift my leg slowly in the air. His other hand falling on my hip.

"Ngh!" I slam my head against the wall, biting my lip. Fuck Oh mighty Asahi.

"Shit."

The water falls on our backs as we both cum in agony.

"I love you, puppy."

"I love you too, owl."

---

#bokuto #bokuto kotaro x you #bokuto x y/n #bokuto smut #haikyuu x reader #haikyu smut #haikyuu #bokuto kotaro smut #bokuto x fem!reader #hq sugawara #sugawara kōshi #hq kageyama #kageyama tobio

[jinxquickfoot]

So I finished my Age of Ultron rewatch. It's been a couple of years since I last saw it, and here are some random thoughts I had on it:

Things I will maintain I like about this movie:

It has some of my favorite jokes in the MCU, and they're usually the little moments. The little nod of validation Rhodey makes after getting a laugh at his "Boom! You looking for this?" story. Clint telling Steve he's no match for Ultron and Steve replying with, "Thanks, Barton". Clint's "Yeah, you better run" after Pietro has long since disappeared with Wanda, there are loads of them.

I like Vision, Wanda and Pietro. Despite being secondary characters with not a huge amount of screen time, Wanda and Pietro feel like real people with real backstories, and Paul Bettany is wonderful the first time we see him as Vis.

It's the only movie we get to see the Original 6 hang out as friends.

I love that Fury randomly shows up in the middle and is like "let me make a sandwich while we discuss how not to let the world end also by the way hi Tony I really care about you"

Other casual appearances of other MCU characters, something that is so lacking Phase 4 onwards. Sam being at the party and Thor going to Selvig for help makes the world feel lived in.

RDJ's never dropped the ball as Tony but his performance really stuck out to me here, god he's good

Steve and Thor have multiple moments of teaming up and working together, what an underrated duo

Hulk vs Iron Man suit inside an Iron Man Suit fight

The Avengers do their best to evacuate Sokovia before Ultron attacks, which does not excuse the amount of damage caused there, but I do think is a plot point everyone forgets about (myself included)

And things that annoy me (skipping over the stuff everyone talks about like the Natasha/Bruce plot):

I hate how Joss Whedon writes Steve, both here and in Avengers. He only feels like Steve when he's being given jokes, otherwise he is so self-serious and stiff, the core of Steve is his heart and it is nowhere to be found in this movie

The movie spends so long setting up character arcs that feel promising and have no payoff. What is the point of Laura telling Clint the Avengers need him if he's going to retire at the end of the movie. Steve has several references to finding home in a way that doesn't go anywhere (Until Endgame, I guess). Don't get me started on Natasha.

It's trying so hard to have a theme but it never says anything unique. Bruce, Tony, Natasha and Vision all refer to themselves as monsters. Ultron decides that the Avengers are the bad guys. Steve has a speech all about proving they're not the monsters Ultron says they are. Based on WHAT? What is the message of this movie?? That the Avengers are better than the evil AI who wants to kill everyone?

(I half-feel there was a previous draft where Clint was their heart, or something, or he died and they were like whelp Phil Coulson 2.0 let's go avenge him, and the random pieces of that are still floating around the script with nowhere to go)

NO ONE is remotely concerned enough when their friends are getting hurt (maybe just the hurt/comfort lover in me, but still.) Natasha comes across as the only person who cares when Clint sustains a life-threatening injury. No one seems to be bothered that Natasha is being held captive by a psychotic supervillain. Tony shows more emotion over a fictional future where they die than when someone is actually in danger.

They really could have had a premise where they weren't allowed to access technology at all and could have gone retro with everything and they didn't and that just feels like a wasted opportunity. Clint and Natasha digging out old spy tech. Steve being like "Yes! This is familiar! I got this!" Tony making genius inventions out of tech from fifty years ago. Come on, it was right there.

#thanks for coming to my ted talk #age of ultron #mcu #marvel #avengers #thoughts

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 376. brb x oc

a/n: OKAY IM FINALLY HAPPY WITH THE SMUT SO, NEXT CHAPTER ITS FINALLY HAPPENING KAJNCKJNWAJKD (comments and reblogs are super welcome and encouraged!)

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: none........yet

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/

/316/317/318/319/320/321/322/323/324/325/326/327/328/329/330/331/332/333/334/335/336/337/338/339/340/341/342/343/344/345/346/347/348/349/350/351/352/353/354/355/356/357/358/359/360/361/362/363/364/365/366

/367/368/369/370/371/372/373/374/375

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! )

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @novastories @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix @lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2

@emilybradshaw @louisahale @leobabbyyy @booklover2sblog @ktjmac @graciereads @bigpoppajes @taytaylala12

@caitsymichelle13 @becks-things @caatheeriinee07 @fanboyswhore9 @jesfreedark @katiemcrae @lilmonstrjedi @hobiismyhopeu @teacupsandtopgun @insominac23 @gh0stsgoodgirl @mygyn @chavivaelisheva @kmc1989 @enchantingharmonyalpaca @callsign-magnolia @mrsbradshaw01

-

She runs her fingers over the rim of the glass, leaning on a hand as she waits. She licks her lips, fixing her dress a bit before looking up when she feels a presence sitting next to her. Her eyes move to the person, a very handsome man, military, mustached with beautiful brown eyes still wearing his uniform.

Beatrice sips her drink but lets her gaze drink him over, then moves away when he looks back at her “Evenin’.” he says, his accent so nice and thick, “What’s a pretty woman like you doin’ here all alone?”

She sips her drink, “Enjoying the sights.” she whispers, flipping her hair to the side, exposing her shoulder - something that makes his gaze drop to the curve - “Enjoying a quiet night, you?”

“Celebrating.” he smirks, sipping his whisky, “Just got promoted.”

“Oh, congrats.” she smiles, “You must be very good at what you do.”

He keeps the glass against his lips, eyes burning with desire, “I am.” he says before setting it down, “...what’s your name,gorgeous?”

“Beatrice.”

“Beautiful name,” he says, holding out his hand, “Bradley, my friends call me Rooster.” her cheeks turn pink when he lifts her knuckles to his full lips, kissing them gently, “And…you said you were enjoying the sights?”

“Yeah.” she says while placing her hand back on her lap, “I…it’s been a while since I went out and –” she frowns, “Roos I’m running out of banter.” 

This idea happened minutes after they decided to go home, after Bea’s parents said they’d keep the kids for the night and they could ‘celebrate’ how they wished. While thinking about it, they thought about roleplaying as if they had just met in a random bar - not the Hard Deck - and it was a great idea…until she ran a blank. Her husband blinked, “You were doing great,gorgeous.” he smiles at her frown, “I’m serious, it was very attractive.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, of course.” he smirks, folding his arms over the counter, his white jacket stretching over his bicep and Bea noticed it. “Unless you aren’t comfortable doing this anymore–?”

“No,no! I…”she licks her lips ,”I do want to try–I didn’t know you liked this type of stuff,Roos.”

Rooster chuckled softly, "Well, you never know what hidden talents I might have," he teased, his voice low and playful.

Beatrice rolled her eyes, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Oh, I'm sure you have plenty of hidden talents," she replied, her tone teasing. She could try again,right?

Rooster's smirk widened as he leaned in closer to Beatrice, his voice dropping to a whisper. "Care to find out?" he murmured, his breath warm against her ear.

Beatrice's cheeks flushed pink at Rooster's suggestive tone, her heart fluttering in her chest. She leaned back slightly, trying to maintain a semblance of composure. "Maybe later," she replied, her voice slightly breathless.

Rooster's eyes danced with amusement as he pulled back, his smirk still firmly in place. "I'll hold you to that, beautiful" he said, his tone playful.

They sat in comfortable silence for a moment, the tension between them palpable. Beatrice took a sip of her drink, her mind racing with thoughts of what the night might hold.

"So, Beatrice," Rooster said, breaking the silence, "Tell me more about yourself. What do you do for a living?"

Beatrice cleared her throat, trying to remember the persona they had created for her character. "Oh, you know," she said, trying to sound casual, "Just your average bartender. Nothing too exciting."

Rooster raised an eyebrow, a knowing smile playing on his lips. "I don't believe that for a second," he replied, his voice low and teasing. "There's something about you, Beatrice. Something... intriguing."

Beatrice felt a shiver run down her spine at Rooster's words, his gaze intense and penetrating. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, suddenly feeling very exposed under his scrutiny.

Dear god she was already wet.

Rooster leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. "Tell me, Beatrice," he murmured, his breath warm against her ear, "What's your deepest, darkest secret?"

Beatrice's heart pounded in her chest, her breath catching in her throat. She opened her mouth to reply, but no words came out. She felt a bead of sweat form on her brow as she struggled to come up with a response.

Rooster's smirk widened as he watched Beatrice squirm under his gaze. Just as Beatrice was about to reply, they were interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat. They both turned to see a waitress standing nearby, a curious expression on her face.

"Can I get you two anything else?"

Beatrice glanced at Rooster, her cheeks flushing pink. "Um, no thank you," she replied, her voice slightly shaky. "We're good for now."

The waitress nodded, a knowing smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Alright then," she said, turning to leave, "Just let me know if you need anything else."

As soon as the waitress was out of earshot, Beatrice let out a shaky breath, her hands trembling slightly. "That was close," she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper.

Rooster chuckled softly, reaching out to squeeze her hand gently. "Yeah, it was," he replied, his voice warm with amusement. "But don't worry, still doing fine.” her panties, however,were about to be absolutely ruined.

“Thank you…sooo…” she licks her lips, “You are a Lt.Commander now,yes?  And a pilot for the Navy.” he smirks in triumph, oh he loved that she wanted to keep this going, “What..what does that do? I have no idea how the Navy works.”

Rooster chuckled softly at Beatrice's question,"Well, as a Lieutenant Commander," Rooster began, his voice rolling inside her ears like honey, "I hold a senior rank in the Navy, just below the rank of Commander. I oversee the operations of my squadron and ensure that our missions are carried out successfully."

Beatrice nodded, her brows furrowing in concentration as she tried to grasp the concept. "So, you're like... the boss of your squadron?" she asked, seeking clarification.

Rooster grinned, pleased that Beatrice was trying to understand, his cheeks hurting from smiling so much. "Exactly," he replied, nodding. "I'm responsible for leading and guiding my team, making sure that everyone is working together towards our common goals. And as a pilot for the Navy, well... I fly missions to support our military objectives, whether it's reconnaissance, combat, or transport missions."

Beatrice's eyes widened with interest as Rooster spoke, her curiosity piqued. "That sounds... intense," she remarked, her voice filled with awe. "I can't imagine what it's like to fly a military aircraft."

Rooster chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "It can be pretty exhilarating," he admitted, a hint of excitement in his voice. "But it's also a lot of hard work and dedication. The training is rigorous, and the missions can be dangerous, but it's all worth it.”

“I see.” she licks her lips, still playing it off as if they had just met, “So you fly, you command…that’s pretty…interesting.”

Oh he loved how red her cheeks were.

“Oh?” he sips his drink, “Care to elaborate?”

Beatrice felt her cheeks grow even warmer under Rooster's gaze, his playful smirk sending shivers down her spine. She cleared her throat, trying to gather her thoughts as she met his gaze. "Well," she began, her voice slightly shaky, "I just find it fascinating how you balance both roles. Flying planes and leading a squadron, it's like... you're living two lives at once."

Rooster's smirk widened into a grin at Beatrice's observation. "You could say that," he replied, his voice tinged with amusement. "It definitely keeps me on my toes, that's for sure. But I wouldn't have it any other way."

Beatrice nodded, her lips curving into a small smile. "I can imagine," she said, her voice filled with admiration. "It takes a special kind of person to handle that level of responsibility."

Rooster's grin softened into a smile, his eyes warm as he looked at Beatrice. "Thank you," he said sincerely, "It means a lot coming from you."

She felt her heart flutter at Rooster's words, her cheeks flushing pink once again. She ducked her head, unable to meet his gaze as she tried to compose herself. "So," she said, clearing her throat, "What made you want to become a pilot in the Navy? Was it something you always dreamed of?"

"Actually, yes," he admitted, "I had always known that I wanted to be a pilot. I was drawn to the Navy because of my father," Rooster explained, "He served in the Navy for many years, and I always looked up to him. I wanted to follow in his footsteps, to honor his legacy."

"But it wasn't until I went through flight training that I truly fell in love with flying," Rooster continued, excitement in his voice. "There's just something about being up in the air, feeling the wind beneath your wings... it's like nothing else in the world."

Beatrice smiled, her eyes shining and for a second she almost forgot they were roleplaying right now. "It sounds amazing," she said softly, her voice filled with warmth. "I'm glad you found something that brings you so much joy."

Rooster's smile softened, his gaze lingering on Beatrice's face. "Me too," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "And what about you? What can I find out about you,hm?”

Beatrice felt a rush of nervous excitement at Rooster's question. She hadn't expected him to turn the conversation back to her, so quickly "Well," she began, her voice hesitant, "I'm not nearly as exciting as you, I'm afraid. I work as a bartender in a nice military bar not far from here. It's not as glamorous as flying planes or leading a squadron, but I enjoy it."

Rooster's smile widened as Beatrice spoke, his eyes lighting up as he spun his glass in its axis. "Bartending, huh?" he said, his voice laced with curiosity. "I bet you have some interesting stories to tell."

Beatrice chuckled softly,"Oh, you have no idea," she replied, "Let's just say, working in a military bar definitely keeps things interesting."

Rooster leaned in closer, his interest piqued. "I'd love to hear some of those stories," he said eagerly, "But only if you're comfortable sharing, of course."

Beatrice smiled at Rooster's, her whole body was warm, painfully so. "I'd be happy to," she said, her voice remained soft. "But fair warning, some of them might be a little... wild."

Rooster grinned, leaning on his hand. "I can handle wild," he replied, his voice laced with something else . "So, tell me, what's the craziest thing that's ever happened to you while bartending?"

Beatrice laughed softly,  "Well, there was this one time," she began, her voice tinged with amusement. "We were hosting a party for one of the officers, and things got a little out of hand."

"Go on,”

“And, there was this one guy,” she flicked her gaze towards him, his smile widening immediately, after all…she was talking about him. “He was a friend of the birthday officer…so he,walked in, sat down on a piano we had on the bar…and started playing.” honestly he was surprised Payback remembered anything from that night, hammered up as he was ,”A very, very nice song.”

“He seems like a fun guy.”

She smiles, gently, cheeks reddening, “...he’s the best guy.” 

"Well, I try my best," he replied with a sheepish grin, breaking the roleplaying with his blush "But I'm sure I'm nowhere near as good as you make me out to be."

Beatrice chuckled softly, shaking her head in amusement. "Oh, I don't know about that," she teased, her voice light and playful. "You're pretty amazing in my book."

Rooster's smile widened at Beatrice's words, his heart swelling with love for her. He reached out to take her hand in his, his touch gentle and reassuring. "Thank you, gorgeous" he murmured, his voice soft but filled with sincerity. "That means a lot coming from you."

They sat in comfortable silence for a moment, lost in each other's gaze. The air between them was charged with unspoken emotions, and Rooster found himself wanting to lean in closer, to feel Beatrice's lips against his own.

The night is still young after all.

“So…tell me.” he rubs her fingers, “...what do you think about getting out of here?”

“...are you proposing something?” she asks with a little smile, “What would that be I wonder?”

Rooster's smile widened  "Well, I was thinking," he began, his voice low and teasing, "We could go for a walk along the beach. Just the two of us, with nothing but the sound of the waves and the stars above us."

“Hmmmm…that sounds amazing," she replied, leaning closer to him, eyelids dropping just enough. "I'd love to."

Rooster stood up from the table, offering Beatrice his hand. "Shall we?" 

Beatrice smiled up at Rooster, her heart fluttering. She took his hand in hers, allowing him to lead her out of the bar and towards the beach. The cool night air felt refreshing against her skin, and the sound of the waves crashing against the shore was soothing to her ears.

As they walked along the beach, hand in hand, Beatrice leaned into Rooster's side, reveling in the warmth of his touch as they strolled along the shoreline.The moon cast a soft glow over the beach, illuminating their path as they walked. Beatrice glanced up at the sky, the stars twinkling brightly overhead.

 It was a picture-perfect moment, one she wished could last forever.

Rooster squeezed Beatrice's hand gently, his eyes warm as he looked at her. "You know," he began, his voice soft but filled with sincerity, "I feel like the luckiest man in the world, being here with you."

Beatrice felt her heart swell with love at Rooster's words. She looked up at him, her eyes shining "I feel the same way," she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. "Being with you makes everything feel right."

Rooster smiled down at Beatrice, his heart overflowing with love for her. He leaned in closer, pressing a tender kiss to her forehead. "I love you," he whispered, his voice filled with emotion. "More than anything in this world."

She wrapped her arms around him, holding him close as she pressed her cheek against his chest. "I love you too," she whispered, her voice choked with emotion. "More than you'll ever know."

Eventually, they continued their walk along the beach, their footsteps leaving imprints in the sand behind them. As they reached the end of the beach, Rooster stopped and turned to face Beatrice. "Beatrice," he began, his voice soft, "There's something I want to ask you."

Beatrice's heart skipped a beat at Rooster's serious tone. She looked up at him, her eyes wide with anticipation. "What is it?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“How would you like…to go to the second round tonight?”

Her eyebrow arched up

“...but you have to promise me,” he smirks, “You won’t freak out.”

She blinked at him,waiting for more but when nothing came she parted her lips, “...why would I freak out?” he smirks more, “...Rooster why would I freak out?”

He licks his lips, “...do you remember when we got into the base when we dated?” There was a very loud pause. “Rooster.” she begins, “...what did you do?”

#im happy yall are still here #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x oc #top gun maverick #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x female reader #bradley bradshaw x named reader #tgm oc #tgm fic #tgm fanfiction

[dapper-zappa]

“She’s Everything. He’s just Stark.” | Tony Stark

Pairing: Tony Stark x Wife!Reader

Summary: Let's see how would it be like if you and Tony saw the Barbie movie together, shall we?

Word count: 597

Warnings: Kinda crack fic so forgive me for that and it being short, banter, references of irl celebs bc I HC that they all exist in the MCU world, Tony being the ideal bf fr, reader can be either an Avenger or civilian up to your interpretation, pretend Endgame, Infinity War, and Civil War never happened, Barbie movie spoilers (don't be like those bfs who are secretly misogynists, y'all)

A/N: Came up with this idea when I was chatting with my friends on Discord and idc what y'all say, Tony would watch Barbie for his gal (and himself) even if ironically his actor is in Oppenheimer 😭

Also I always find the HC that RDJ and Tony coexisting in the MCU to be hilarious bc they're basically lookalikes of each other in my head BAHHAHDSHHFDF

“That was…”

“Amazing. I love how empowering this movie is.” Tony continued, turning away from the screen to face you with the cutest grin ever plastered on his face. 

“Barbie World'' by Ice Spice and Nicki Minaj blared itself inside the theater studio as the credits played on the silver screen. The lights had turned on and people were starting to leave now that the Barbie movie had finished showing, with you and Tony deciding to watch it not just because of the trend, but mostly because of how you really looked forward to that movie before it premiered. While people are leaving, you, your boyfriend, and some others still lingered inside to watch the credits.

You smiled back at him. “I know, right? I never expected a movie about a literal Barbie doll to be this deep, but man, Greta Gerwig did such a fantastic job!” 

He leaned in to give your cheek a kiss. “You know, babe, hearing Gloria’s monologue about women’s struggles made me even more proud of you for being a really strong woman.” he pecked your other cheek. “You’re always there for me and your loved ones, you’re never shy of fighting for your own goodness, and last but not least, being the best wife ever.” 

“Thanks, Tones.” you replied.

“You’re welcome, because I think this is the best movie experience I ever had with my girl. Me watching one of the best movies of this year with my best girl? Yes please!” he exclaimed cheerfully.

Tony Stark might be one of the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, but he’s deep down just a loving man who loved his wife and cared for his friends. He had his own needs and interests, not just him being Iron Man plastered on murals or a kid’s bedroom poster. You, on the other hand, were a woman he admired so much for being an iron-willed woman who dedicated your life to make everyone feel better. After years of dating him, he finally proposed, with the two of you finally tying the knot some time later. 

“Honey?” you asked. 

“What’s up, Mrs. Stark?” 

“I think I know someone who should definitely play another Ken if there’s a sequel.” 

Tony tilted his head and slightly squinted his eyes in suspicion. “Who is it, hmm? You want Steve Rogers to be a Ken? Oh please, you know who’s the better choice.” he smirked playfully. 

“Robert Downey Jr.” you joked. 

“What? Out of everyone in this entire world, you chose someone who looks a lot like me instead of the actual me? The actual Tony Stark? How could you, baby?” he exclaimed, putting his hand on his chest in pretend shock. “Are you saying that you’re taking the ‘She’s everything, he’s just Ken’ thing seriously?” 

A lighthearted laughter escaped your mouth at the sight of your husband’s reaction. “Tony, I’m kidding, okay? Besides, why would I disrespect the man who’s literally boyfriend and husband material? These matching shirts aren’t supposed to be taken seriously! If anything, you’re way better than Ken, baby.” you gestured to the matching t-shirts you both wore. 

On your shirt, it said “She’s everything.” while Tony’s matching one said “He’s just Stark”. It was custom made thanks to the slogan being different and Tony wanted the name to be Stark instead of Ken, much to your dismay but nevertheless you thought he looked great in it. 

“Now that’s the Y/N I know and love.” 

You stood up from your seat and offered your hand to him. “Absolutely. Now let’s go, we have dinner waiting for us.” 

#mcu x reader #mcu fic #mcu fanfic #mcu x you #smokey writes #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #tony stark #iron man #iron man x you #tony stark x reader #tony stark x you #iron man x reader #fluff #crack fic

[allycat75]

Happy April Fool's Day, Boston Dumb Fuck! But then it is no longer just a day for you anymore, is it?

You really gave it the office over the past few years, haven't you? Made a joke of your life, your family, friends and fans and look at where it has gotten you.

In honor of this most sacred of days, let's take a quick look back down Untrustworthy Lane, shall we?

You saying you loved love in your SMA article, then taking this massive dump on it. That was awesome!

Also saying you hated yourself in the same SMA article. Too bad no one close to you believed you or intervened. Maybe this mess could have been avoided

Your then fake girlfriend, now fake wifey, crashing the Thanksgiving family celebration at Disney World, where you pretended to be creepy niece-creepy uncle. I am sure your family laughed and laughed at that one

Tried to convince us jump scares were cute beyond brothers and could be easily staged

Also thought it would be fun to hide a misogynistic snuff film behind a dumb chin puppet video

Tried to trick us into thinking being good at Mario Cart was a noteworthy feat, and being bad at it was worthy of derision

Proved Valentine's Day is a joke by releasing a few handfuls of unflattering photos, plus some obvious photshop fails and even 2 or 3 photos that had absolutely nothing to do with the day of forced love. The joke was on you, however, since all that accomplished was to murder so many lady-boners it doomed you to only finding pleasure in your own hands, or perhaps a realistic fleshlight, for the foreseeable future. But you are a big "alone guy" so that should suit you well!

Extending this shameful stunt to the "Ghosted" premiere. That was a double whammy- the little racist, clout chasing twit thinking she was going to walk the red carpet and Ana and Dexter thinking they could save that festering turd of a movie from further embarrassment. Are they still talking to you after that prank?

Orchestrating two ghost kinda ceremonies using only vague descriptions of locations and pictures from family and friends in the vicinity of possible kinda locations, including a very real and special birthday party for a young lady that was probably ruined, but all in the name of a fun manipulation, right? Pepper in some online quotes about getting mentored by RDJ (he's doing a bang up job, by the way), as well as a line in the online version of the disaster of all disaster interviews in GQ, (that if people truly cared, would have put a 5150 hold on you and your dissociated life) and voila! Sham marriage complete.

Continuing with the joke-in-and-of-itself ASP. I mean, having a discussion on antisemitism where your guest chides those who normalize this behavior, just as you shove that poison ring in the camera, symbolizing the unholy union between you and the Nazi wifey. Great job, man!

Almost as good as you wearing the colors of the Nazi flag for your red carpet debut with your charming anti-semetic "bride", fake kisses and all

The best jest, however, was you not even getting to catch up with your more successful friends at the Vanity Fair party because you and that prize woman of yours were shuffled off immediately to the pick up line to be taken home, alone to your fleshlight

But you should be used to not getting into parties. There was the pathetic loitering in front of the CAA and UTA pre-Oscar bashes, but the best prank on yourself had to be the SNL Christmas party, where the wifey recreated the bratty niece look from the first pap walk and you tried to drive a wedge between one of your best friend's marriages (at least Colin has gotten in some good jabs at you on the show), all while the two of you probably were hid away in a dimly lit basement room for 20 minutes, then let out a back door to go home, alone to your fleshlight. And Alec Baldwin and his wife were actually invited. That's gotta hurt!

And just recently being called a "car enthusiast". More subtle than some of your other hoaxes, but still hilarious!

Now I don't know if you signed onto this because of duress or the promise of something great (hopefully not the Gene Kelly movie, because that was never going to fly- that was another trick on you, and even if it was miraculously offered to you, after this, it would not be a good look playing a male chauvinist who preferred young women).

I am sure you have had your fun, but let's hope this time next year you will have long hung up the jester's hat and become a real life boy!

#Skinny Falstaff #Ai I'm human form #What the fuck are you doing? #You are the company you keep #Learn how to make better decisions #The unhappy idiot #is your mom still proud? #You know you burned it all down right? #Things need to change #was it worth it?

[coltrainbat]

oh oh i got inspiration request from sr. (rdj dad, netflix documentary) so could you write about chris evans decided to do a Netflix documentary movie from how he became celeb to how he met his girlfriend, reader.

Boston Boy: Chris Evans Doco

A/N: OK I HAVE BEEN THINKING OF THIS SCENARIO FOR SO LONG. I ADORE THE CONCEPT. Me being a very visual person, I was like... how do I execute this? It was gonna be gifs but then I thought no like let's get that audio visual thang going. So I present to you my shitty little video montage that I spent 2 hours on my laptop trying to figure out, scouring the internet for clips (they're not mine... clearly please dont sue). I kind of set it out as the single interviews, and then you guys getting asked questions by interviewers at home and then all those little scenes.

So when you watch my poorly done video, firstly, don't judge, secondly, imagine it as little home video clips of you. I HAD TO DO IT. MY BRAIN WOULDNT LET ME POST THIS UNLESS I DID IT.

Please enjoy xo.

1v1 Chris Interview

Interviewer: What’s one song that describes Y/N?

“Killer Queen. No question.” He smirked, resting his chin on his fingers.

< Video Montage of you starts with the music >

She’s just… yeah… you know you don’t meet someone like that every day and the fact that I get to spend every day with her makes me the luckiest man alive.

<Scene changes to you getting comfy on your couch, pulling up a blanket and holding a cup of tea. The room is dark being light by the various warm lights in your living room. You’re in your pyjamas.>

Interviewer: You guys ready?

Y/N: Oh, this is starting already! God, I haven’t even done my makeup.

CE: You look fine. It’s a documentary babe it’s supposed to be informal.

Chris pulled your feet up over his lap, settling in next to you.

Y/N: I still would have done my hair! I’ve never done an interview for anything besides a job, so this is a little different.

Interviewer: Just think of it as you’re in your living room chatting with friends.

Y/N: Alright shoot!

Interviewer: So, Y/N, I guess it’s funny because you don’t have a profession in the industry you had no aspirations of being famous and you’ve just been thrusted into this spotlight… what’s that like?

Y/N: I mean… it’s definitely different. And I’d be lying if I say I didn’t you know think on it and it’s hard because you have to really question is this guy, I’m seeing worth it? You know? That sacrifice of your privacy or your mundane life. Like yeah, the trips and the nice house and hotels and the events are all great and I can’t complain but you know you give a part of yourself up. That part of you that can go to the grocery store in sweatpants, the one where your whole life doesn’t come up when you google yourself. That was hard but you know I had to kind of follow my heart and I decided yeah you know; I really like this guy and why not? Sometimes you gotta take a risk and follow your heart and I’m glad I did it but I don’t think I’d do this for anyone else.

CE: Would you say I’m worth it now?

Chris smirked at you

Y/N: I’d definitely say you’re worth it.”

Interviewer: And what would you say is the hardest part?

Y/N: Well, you know no one wants to be disliked and that’s always hard to have that rejection but imagine that but from thousands of people who have never met you, don’t know you from a bar of soap who then go online and tell you that. You know that they don’t like you because you’re ugly and fat and you’re a gold digger. Let the record show, I have a really good job that I love so his money was not what did it for me. Especially, since I’m the one who always buys the coffees.

CE: That part killed me…. There’s this girl, you know, my girl that I love and she’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me and people are just going around online spewing all this hate about her, you kind of feel it’s your fault… ya know? She didn’t choose this life, I did but by extension it’s her life now. I just don’t think she deserves it. The gold digger comment on the other hand is hilarious, I think I owe her $1000 in coffees. She gets weird if I buy her a nice present on her birthday, she’s definitely not after my money.

Y/N: I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s your fault though like I knew what I was getting into, and I agreed to it getting into a relationship with you.

CE: It’s still not fair though. I have this need to protect her, ya know, that’s my job to make sure she’s safe and I can’t protect her from everything and that’s hard.

Y/N: I know honey I know.

You patted his thigh hoping the ease the pain in his voice.

Y/N: I’ve kind of grown immune to it now, these people don’t know me or my relationship so I’m able to kind of shut that out. It’s as simple as putting the phone down.

Interviewer: What’s the best part then?

Y/N: Not having to pay rent in Boston.

CE: Ya kidding!

Y/N: It’s a really tough market!

Y/N: No in seriousness, I live a really privileged life with the man I love. I had a great life before, but I think being in love and having a person makes you feel complete.

Interviewer: So, we’ll set the scene, an A-lister movie star comes up to you on a night out and starts talking to you… what’s going through your head? How did you feel? Starstruck?

Y/N: He looks like every other white dude, so I didn’t clock it immediately but when I did I thought I was being punkd or something.”

CE: Oh come on!

Y/N: No seriously and I’ve told you this I was super suspicious about it. Yeah sure, I’ve had guys come up to me in clubs but having someone who you know could have anyone they wanted, and you know I’m not the beauty standard, I don’t fit the mould of bombshell, I’m curvy and loud and I laugh like a drunk witch I just didn’t think that I was someone he’d be interested in.

CE: Speak for yourself I love your laugh.

Interviewer: So, Chris why did you go up to her?

CE: Well firstly, look at her. I mean I first saw her and I think that was kind of the first time in my life I ever got taken back by someone… I’m a big believer in love at first and I think I had that moment of “wow there she is. That’s the girl I’m gonna spend the rest of my life with.” and it’s not just her looks either she had this energy about her that was addictive and I wanted to be a part of. She was laughing and I could see the faces of the people around her they just seemed so entertained and engaged by whatever she was saying. She’s one of those people you kind of just gravitate to because she has that gift of lighting up a room. She reminds me of a quote I read once, she’s like a sunrise, she doesn’t care if you watch her rise or not she will continue to be beautiful even if no one bothers to look.

Y/N: He had this big grin talking to me the whole time and I thought oh maybe that’s an actor thing where you’re not allowed to stop smiling.

Interviewer: But you thought you were getting punkd…

Y/N: If not punkd, that he was kind of just looking for a one-night fling. Admittedly, I judged him. Definitely. I had read the tabloids, I didn’t understand why someone like him was single, it was suspicious.

CE: It’s because I hadn’t met you yet.

Y/N: Well, we know that now but back then I think I put a wall up because I didn’t want to get hurt. Getting your heartbroken by a celebrity isn’t just as simple as you block their number, his face is everywhere, I’d have to boycott certain movies. I’d be embarrassed by the fact that I trusted some playboy movie star and thought that I was special enough he wanted to be with me.

CE: God you were soooo wrong sweetheart

Y/N: I can admit that now! But yeah, it’s definitely weird trying to navigate his intentions. But he made it pretty clear from the start.

CE: She said no like 50 times.

Interviewer: You said NO?

The interviewer put on a faux gasp.

Y/N: I had my walls up I just don’t think I was willing to be fucked around by Captain America. But I think I realised he was being genuine when he was scheduled to leave to go to some other event and his people came over to kind of get him out and he looked them in the eye and said “no, I’m in the middle of something important.” I was like oh god this man is DETERMINED.

CE: You were important, I refused to leave you alone until you at least agreed to one date.

Y/N: We would of been there all night if I was more stubborn.

CE: Thank god you caved to my good looks and charm.

Y/N: Yeah that and you also promised me a pasta dinner… that’s my advice to all the girls watching never turn down a good meal especially if the guy is paying.

CE: I learnt early on good food is the way to your heart.

Y/N: And then every date after that he’d bring me chocolate like boxes of truffles or those big industrial packs of Reece’s.

CE: She loves Reece’s.

Interviewer: So how do you keep this spark alive? Seems like you two are really in love even after facing some challenges that normal couples wouldn’t.

CE: Sex.

Y/N: Chris!

CE: What? I can’t say that? Look I’m a man, who is lucky he gets to go to bed most nights with a beautiful woman I think that’s a really good part of our relationship that I can’t see going away anytime soon.

Y/N: Intimacy is definitely there that’s for sure but I think also even when you are away we are constantly communicating and planning to do things we enjoy together.

CE: Yeah, when I come home from filming or a press tour my first priority is making sure we have that time to reconnect whether it’s a week, a day or even just a few hours doing something with her and no one else makes me feel a little bit more human again.

Interviewer: Would you say your job makes you feel less human?

CE: In a way yeah, I mean, I’m playing another character 24/7 and I love my job don’t get me wrong but you’re on set for hours every day and then you get pushed into interviews and you have to be “on” all the time you know smiling and answering the same questions for hours. I think that’s why a lot of actors do seem unhappy and it’s because they don’t get to come home to someone who wraps you in this hug of quotidian. I’m Chris Evans most of the time but I come home and to her I’m just “Chrissy baby” and she doesn’t expect me to act a certain way, I can just be myself and pretend for a few hours that I’m just this normal guy coming home to his wife after a day of work.

Y/N: Girlfriend. He means girlfriend. We aren’t married.

CE: Not yet but it’s definitely on the cards. Sorry I slip up a bit, it feels like we are married but yeah no secret wedding or anything.

Interviewer: Have you guys talked about marriage and kids, we know Chris is set on a big Boston family..

CE: Oh, every day.

Y/N: It’s definitely in the works, Chris and I have a similar background in the fact we are big family people so it’s a no brainer that in a couple of years you’ll see me popping out babies.

CE: But for now, we are enjoying life just us and Dodger.

Y/N: Yeah, there’s no rush. It’ll happen though.

Interviewer: How many kids is the perfect number?

Y/N: 3

CE: 4

Interviewer: 3 or 4 which is it?

CE: My number is actually coming down from 5 but obviously it’s her body so if after 3 she feels up for one more, I won’t say no but whatever makes her happy.

Y/N: I need to see how I feel but I’m confident that Chris will be one of those hands-on dads, so I won’t be left alone with 4 kids under 4 running around.

CE: Oh, definitely not, stay at home daddy over here.

Interviewer: Seems you two have given lots of thought to it any baby names?

CE: The baby names are safely locked up in Y/N notes app but yeah, we’ve sorted that out.

Y/N: I’m not spoiling them.

You grin at the gorgeous man next to you.

< Chris’s voice over as scenes of you two moving around airports, packing bags and messing around in green rooms plays >

Life is crazy for me right now; you know with ASP and all these upcoming movies and projects. I don’t think that’s something I’d be able to do if I didn’t have her. She is singlehandedly keeping my engine running. Because there are days when it gets too much, and you have so many different opinions coming your way as to what you should do and how you should act. And there she is, right next to me or a phone call away and I can just turn to her. I definitely value her opinion above anyone else’s and that’s because I think she only gives it when I ask or when she thinks I need to hear it. She knows me better than myself so if she says, “Hey slow down.” I listen because she knows. I know its cheesy, but she is my rock, she is the calm I crave amongst chaos and a minute in her arms helps me get up to do another day.

She inspires me every day, the way she gets up and works tirelessly for others, pursues her passion and is unapologetically herself. They say you’re attract to people who have what you lack, and I think her confidence to say, “Hey you may not like it but I’m not going to conform to what you want me to be.” Is something I admire, and I think being around someone like that really gives me that bit of confidence to kind of shush the anxiety. There’s a certain intelligence that comes with knowing it’s not worth it to change yourself to appease others and that’s why when I say she is the smartest person I know, I mean that.

She’s not just my best friend, she’s, my soulmate.

#chris evans imagines #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader #chris evans fluff #chris evans x plus size reader #chris evans fics #chris evans one shot #chris evans imagine #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x y/n #chris evans fic #chris evans fandom

[kaybronz]

Warning, incoming novel ahead.

If the Chris Evans shit show has taught me anything it's that you truly can't trust anything about public figures. There's always a narrative being spun or some kind of image being crafted and projected. I think that's the part that is the most disappointing to me that I bought into the image and it was nothing more than a mirage.

I had always liked the marvel movies, RDJ was my favorite for the longest, but I really started getting into Chris once he started being politically vocal. He seemed like a breath of fresh air, down to earth, relatively normal for his position in life, vocally on the right side of political history, and a self-proclaimed feminist. So I dove right in! It felt good to throw my support behind a famous person that for once, didn't seem to be so wildly out of touch with the everyday individual, whose values seemed to align with mine. I invested time and energy into promoting him and his work, I frequented and participated in his fan spaces, and I followed his ventures outside of acting. The red flags were there along the way, particularly with ASP, but I wanted to believe he had the best of intentions but was fumbling the follow through, so I pushed those to the back of my mind and kept supporting.

That investment and support existed solely because of the image he presented to the public, humble, down to earth, politically and socially conscious everyday guy. But that glass has shattered now. I'm a firm believer in the fact that you are who you surround yourself with. And I clung to the idea that this was pr because because it was some kind of hope that the image wasn't a false narrative and that he wasn't actually a phoney underneath a facade. But now it's quite plain that his morals and values very much align with his racist, fatphobic, antisemitic bride and her like minded friends. If he was the man he projected himself to be we wouldn't be where we are now. Who you marry says even more about you than your friends do and this marriage doesn't say anything positive about him and most certainly shines a light on who he actually is and how he actually feels about marginalized groups.

I do not believe in the ability to separate the art from the artist. I believe that continued participation and interaction with the work and other ventures of a problematic person is inherently showing acceptance and support to that person. Which I cannot condone any longer. This is why if you're a fiction writer and I unfollow please understand that while I likely think you are incredibly talented I cannot in good conscience continue to interact with your work as in my mind it supports and benefits him, even if indirectly. In my mind continuing to read and reblog like nothing has happened is a big fuck you to the most most directly affected by this farcical of a man.

With that being said, I've met some great people throughout my time in this fandom, and I hope that they stay on and pivot to other more worthwhile things (though I understand if they leave), I hope to be able to continue those wonderful interactions with the smart, kind, empathetic people I've encountered. I personally don't think I'll be jumping into another fandom space anytime soon for fear of another let down. But in the meantime I may venture back into my old faithful, I present to you Mr. Paul Wesley.

Paul who while not a politically active as Chris once was (and maybe that's a good thing as it's likely far less performative) he has directly called out his very own costars for their right wing political support and backwards ass thinking. And was one of the few on the vampire diaries set to stick up for Kat Graham and pushed back so far on the abhorrent treatment from the show creators that he as one of the main characters threatened to leave the series if they killed her character off.

#chris evans #paul wesley

[lovers-in-japan-reign-of-love]

Hi! I’ve recently joined tumblr and I love your writing. Do you think you could do one where fem!teen!reader has a father-daughter dance but she doesn’t have a father/doesn’t have a good relationship with him and someone like rdj finds out and takes her instead? If not it’s okay.

Notes: I’d like to thank @deadlymistletoe for the request! I hope you enjoy it.

I don’t own any of the gifs/pictures used.

Warnings: Poor relationship with father, some angst, some comfort, spelling/grammatical errors, very bad writing 🤷‍♂️, anything else I failed to mention

Word Count: 590 (give or take)

Masterlist: Click Here & Here

You don’t have a really good relationship with your father

He’s been in and out of your life for as long as you can remember

You’ve gone through every possible emotion when it comes to your father’s unreliable nature, now you’re in a mixture of numbness, exhaustion and disappointment

You’re in high school now, and it’s been roughly two and a half years since you last heard from him

It’s not uncommon for him to disappear for extended periods of time, but this has to be the longest

You don’t really care at this point

Getting all worked up over it won’t make a difference

Then your school announced it’ll be hosting a father daughter dance

Some of your friends expressed interest in it

You played it off like you weren’t interested

But deep down, there were some emotions swirling around

Insecurities on not having a stable father figure in your life

Anger that your father never made time for you

Sadness that maybe you were never enough for him

Feelings you never knew existed until then

Maybe you always knew they existed but you chose to ignore them

Your mother is the first to notice something being off about you

You try to brush it off but you crumble and tell her

She reassures you it’s okay and tries to make you feel better; it doesn’t really work

So you try to distract yourself

If you can make it through the week until the stupid dance blows over, then you’ll be fine

You put even more time into studying and homework

You rehearsed your lines over and over for the upcoming movie you’re in

You even called your costars to see if they’d be interested in helping

Robert agreed without hesitation

He was the only one available at the moment so it worked out

It didn’t take him long to realize something was up with you

He waited until you would tell him, but you didn’t

So he asked and you tried brushing it off

And he gave you a look, and you nearly caved

And he kept giving you the look, so you did

You explained the situation and went off about how it was ridiculous to feel that way about your school’s father daughter dance, but there was that unresolved something deep inside you that wouldn’t leave you alone and you half expected it to go away once the dance passed and by the time you finished explaining you were out of breath

Robert didn’t say anything

After a minute you felt a little nervous

After three, you felt self conscious

After nearly five minutes you felt you’d crossed some kind of line by telling him all that

Then he asks something that made you sputter in an attempt to respond for a good thirty seconds

“Why don’t I go with you?”

You told him it wasn’t necessary, that it was some stupid school dance and that you didn’t want him to feel obligated over something like that

“…you’ve got your own family, I don’t want to take you away from them.”

Robert shrugged, “I’ll talk to Susan about it. It’s not a big deal trust me.”

You felt guilt wash over you

Why’d you tell him about this? Now he’s asking to go with you out of pity

You refused to look at him

“Y/N, if you don’t want to go, that’s fine, but my offer still stands.” Robert’s voice is comforting but you only shrug in response. “Wanna get back to rehearsing?”

You nodded

#robert downey jr x teen!reader #robert downey jr x reader #tony stark x reader #iron man x reader #marvel cinematic universe x reader #mcu x reader #marvel cast x reader #avengers cast x reader #marvel x reader #avengers x reader #robert downey jr #tony stark #iron man #marvel cinematic universe #mcu #marvel cast #avengers cast #marvel #avengers #marvel one shots #one shots #tw: bad parenting #fanfiction

[indominusavenger]

I'm gonna come out and say it; No Way Home sucked. Sure, it had some good moments but in my opinion, it does not live up to the first two instalments of the trilogy. I liked the first part of the movie but as soon as I knew where the second part was going, I fell off that train pretty quickly.

Not only did it make MCU Spidey end up with the same tale as his two predecessors but it also undoes Peter's entire establishment in Marvel's overall franchise. What was the point of the last four movies putting him on the roster with Earth's MIGHTIEST Heroes if you were just going take all that away and make it like he exists in a completely separate world from them? What was the point of the three cameos we had from RDJ, Samuel L. Jackson, and Benedict Cumberbatch in their iconic roles to show that interconnected universe as with every other MCU movie, only for that to be stripped away at the very last second? Might as well have been another one of Sony's solo ventures at making a series after TASM but it's not and that's why I HATE the uncertainty of Peter Parker's future in the MCU. However, given the current failing reality of the MCU with every new movie that comes out, I can already confirm it's nothing good. In fact, it probably would be best if progress stops altogether before Marvel really is stuck in the dust and just a part of a magnificent past with no legacy to carry on. (This is a side note but that is still a big issue for me anyways that I may expand upon later in another post. In the meantime, go watch all the video essays on YouTube, I'm sure you'll find many good ones.)

He had a unique story that fit into the overarching plot of the MCU and the premise he had was different from the previous Spideys which is what was so interesting about his character development. This Peter Parker had friends that weren't introduced before, or at least, they were more developed than in other series; he had a superhero as a mentor, not a scientist turned villain due to unfortunate circumstances; he had a guy in the chair who wasn't after him or turned villain because his father was one, he had two crushes that were friends, he was part of clubs and acted more teenage-like than the last two. He interacts with other heroes, joins the Avengers, fights THE villain, perishes, comes back, loses his mentor, and is still expected to keep on going.

For crying out loud, he was asked if he was going to be the next Iron Man but he knew he wasn't which is what Far From Home set out to show us. And to all those who called him Iron Man Jr. in Homecoming, I hope you know that you make no sense and I think Marvel did a wonderful job making him stand apart. He was a kid admiring one of his role models and now that he actually had a connection to him, of course he was going to want to be like his mentor but even Tony recognized that he wanted him to be more, not like him. This shows Iron Man himself had great respect for the young hero.

Now, moving onto No Way Home, two main things that annoy the heck out of me; Peter being forgotten (obviously) and Aunt May dying. I'll start with Aunt May's death. To be honest, it was a completely unnecessary death and it actually doesn't make sense for the purpose it had in the movie. The punchline "With great power comes great responsibility." loses its premise as soon as you recall Civil War's intro to Peter in the first place. Uncle Ben had already died, Peter was Spider-Man at this point, and remember what Peter told Tony when they met, why the older hero related to him so much? "When you can do the things that I can, but you don't... and then the bad things happen... they happen because of you." So he already learned that lesson on responsibility and by the time we get to No Way Home, this kid had learned lessons also involving the universe at large. Why are we rehashing Uncle Ben's offscreen death with Aunt May if Marvel literally stated that was overdone? Make that make sense. But oh, it was to make something big and dramatic happen in the movie because we needed to mOve aLoNg. Peter lost his parents, his uncle, and mentor; can you come up with something new other than parental figure losses? Why do TASM Peter and OG Peter still have their Aunt Mays and even if it was just a deleted scene, technically TASM Peter's dad? Huh, then what do you say there? Why did MCU Peter Parker have to lose ALL his parental figures?

Finally, the thing that probably broke most of us; Peter being wiped from everyone's memory. As I stated earlier, his entire existence within the MCU just vanishes, like that, in seconds. So......... what was the point of his existence up till now in the MCU? What was the point of his specific development and growth if he was just going to get forgotten? Why was he meticulously introduced at the height of the Avengers' conflict and then constantly involved with some other MCU hero/important character if he was going to be removed from that? If the Avengers were never a big deal, why make him a part of that at all and why were we still bringing them up at the climax of the film? For those who bring up the argument that he's supposed to be a solitary hero, well that was the worst way to have introduced him then, right? But Marvel chose that route, not any other. Which is why that decision still makes no sense to me. You put him in a world where he wasn't the only superhero and he was going to interact with other heroes which none of the other Spider-Men had and that already put him in a unique position. Why give him a background that was going to get swiped?

Imagine that, making five blockbuster films that gave him a firm standing in the MCU at the peak of Phase 3 and then in his sixth film, his last standalone which is supposed to be his most shining moment, he gets the rug pulled out from underneath him to give him a blank slate? You might as well have thrown every script out from 2015 to 2019 including him before they were ever written or considered. It's the equivalent of undoing everything you just worked on in a school project that's worth 40% of your final grade. Think about that for a second. Marvel just undid 6 years of work and investment in a single character for them to go back to the beginning. Why didn't you just do that then from the start? You could have had more classic Spidey a long time ago by that train of thought (which I really didn't want because we already saw that twice and this Spidey was something fresh).

Anyways, thanks for reading. This is 2 years worth of disappointment and frustration put on the page.

#peter parker #spider-man #mcu analysis #mcu rant #spider-man: no way home review #mcu thoughts #spider-man: homecoming #spider-man: no way home #homecoming #no way home #the avengers #avengers #marvel cinematic universe #mcu #marvel

[universeofdreams]

Only business, please.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Tom Holland x Singer! Fem!Reader

Genre: almost romance, contemporary

Warning: slight bit of heartbreaking, not a "happy" end

Wordcount: 1315

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Summary: You actually win a grammy and Tom doesn't know you yet but that doesn't stop him from being smitten over you. But that feeling isn't reciprocated and leave him behind.

A/n: Love emancipated women, wanted the reader to stand out and be strong in this one. I think I kinda messed up but idk, still like the idea of her being an incoming star and that she wants to depend on herself.

════════════════════════════════════════════

There she was, standing at one of these tables while taking a nip on the extra expensive champagne, eyeing that also super expensive glass in her hands. 

There was something that is different about you, you were more elegant and delicate, the first impressions should always be the best ones in your eyes. Your dark red tailored fem-suit with a velvetty pattern that suited you perfectly, your perfect skin and broad shoulders looked intimidating, the long legs looked slim even if the pants showed only a little of them. 

Her performance was imminent, she almost felt guilty for getting that price. 

„Hey, pretty, are you free? I want to introduce you to someone.“  You immediately turned around to be met with Robert Downey Jr.‘s slightly amused face. 

„Who?“ 

„I’m not going to tell you. Get that ass over to my table.“, the older one laughed, again. 

„Give me a minute to gather myself together, my friend.“ You, the singer of the evening, smiled and nodded while Robert walked off again, but you followed him with his eyes until he reached his table, just to make sure. Then you made your way to Downeys table. 

„Look, there comes the star of this whole event!“, he already heard the voice that belongs to the celebrity but you just brushed it off with a smile. 

„Not true. Hi, nice to meet you all, I‘m Y/n.“ The 20 years old said. 

Everyone greeted her until Robert started introducing everyone until he came to that younger guy. „That‘s Tom Holland. I bet you heard about him!“ Your gaze went to Holland who slightly smiled, looked absolutely gorgeous in his suit. 

„Yeah, no, actually not I‘m deeply sorry.“ Your sheepish smile made Tom freeze. 

‚She didn’t know about him?‘ 

„Oh Holland! You should totally invite that girl over and show her all the movies you played in!“ 

„I don’t think that’s a good idea... You know i’m not good at watching my own movies...“ 

„Oh yes, you’re going to do that! Don’t worry!“ Tom swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. „Right, you’re right RDJ!“ He laughed. You just shrugged but someone who was also known as Chris Evans wanted to cheer so they all did, then again someone entered the stage and grabbed all the attention. 

„I am really pleased and absolutely happy to have someone as a guest today, the one musician who is worth a grammy and we have her here today! Y/n, my friend, come on!“ 

All eyes were on you, especially the ones of RDJ and all other people around the table. 

„Need to go, maybe see y’all.“ You smiled, drank the rest of champagne until you started to make the way up the stage a catwalk, people greeting you and waving, calling your name and wanting photos of you. 

„Holy shit, she’s famous?“ Tom Holland said immediately. 

„Wait, you didn’t know?“ Robert answered. 

„You guys should totally meet up, get to know each other.“ 

„Are you trying to hook us both up?“ 

„Well, I know you like such girls! Look at her, she’s a total catch. Aren’t you looking for someone who would make everyone jealous but would treat you totally right? Found that woman, you’re annoying us all with your heart horny needy way! She’s the girl for a living!“ Robert whispers to Tom, made sure no one heard them. 

Until Tom‘s gaze snapped back to the stage where you stood and quietly smiled. „I really really want to thank you all, that i’m here today! Actually, just a year ago I didn’t think that I could win a goddamn grammy. But there you can see, within a year everything can change. I am also really thankful for having my dear friend, Robert Downey Jr. who literally shoved me into that business. Would be totally lovely if you take a clap for him now.“ 

You smiled and waved at him until the whole room bursts in applause. „But I am also keen on knowing what could be the next thing happening. 2020 was a hard year, everyone knows this. 

I spend a long time on writing songs last year, I counted them. In total, 639 songs, tunes i hated a lot. I came up with 6 new songs for my album and today i want to perform two of them, Wanted and Weak In The Knees. 

On each of these tables around here are small QR codes, it would mean a lot to me if you give me a little feedback. Anyways, let’s get going, huh?“ YoU went backstage and got a clip on mic so you didn’t need to carry the whole thing around and also to drop your jacket down. You frame was only covered by the black shirt and a harness. 

For everyone around you looked dangerous yet attractive and when you walked on stage once more, Tom couldn’t take his eyes of the female. 

She looked so straight forward, as if she wanted to get all the guys to be all over her, yet so sexy he almost felt some butterflies in the pit of his stomach. 

‚Fuck... Not now, please.‘ 

The first song went off and Y/n looked incredible hot and also pretty, the second song got Tom slowly heated up. Weak in the knees was his current state and he knew, if you were going to come back to this place, he’ll die. In a good way though. 

„Robert.“ He called out. 

„Hm?“ 

„I-is she going to come back here?“ 

„Who? Y/n? Ohh no, no, no, she never does. After her performances she usually looks for a chill place on a rooftop bar to drink a martini or something, I can’t remember, really, sorry. But she gave me this, said i should give it to someone i think is meant to. Here you go.“ 

He hands him a business card like a brochure. He unfolded the paper and it seems like a location. „I- I have to go!“, Tom screeched and took his phone off the table, heading outside just to find that bar. 

When the young Holland reached the rooftop he recognised the female sitting on one couch, casually drinking her martini, just as Robert said. There weren’t a lot of people, just four or five, maybe two couples. „I‘m glad you came. C‘mere, sit down.“ Y/n signed the bartender he should get another drink ready for her almost date. Tom did what he said, almost shaking. „Woah, why are you that nervous?“ 

„I-I’m not nervous it’s just- uhm- hot.“ 

,What? Hot? Wow.‘ 

„Then take off your jacket?“ 

His eyes widen until he clumsy, as he was, takes it off and tosses it to the side. The bartender hands Tom Piña Colada, who thankful took the cocktail. The refreshing taste of juice run down his gullet. It was cold, he was happy about the cooling sensation. „Oh god-“ he moaned.

 „Huh? Are you okay?“ 

„Yes, I just needed a good and cold drink.“ 

„Glad you like it.“

„Didn’t know you know what I like, that kinda surprises me.“ 

„I know a lot of things, for example why you’re so nervous.“

Tom was speechless. Did you really know or did you just play pretend?

„You do? Tell me why then.“ He demanded and by the expression you gave him said that you knew exactly why he even was here.

„Attraction.“ You laughed and shook your head when he didn’t reply, telling you that you were right.

„Okay, listen, Holland. I’m not interested in dating or anything that considers being in a relationship. I cannot stand dating someone that travels around the world, when I also have to be at different places each and every week. I thought you wanted to do business and not ask me out.“ You said, placing some money on the little coffeetable, taking all your things and leaving.

You’re leaving him behind, heartbroken.

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland x fem!reader #tom holland x you #robert downey jr #famous reader #chris evans

[bookishtheaterlover7]

If this is real then Chris is a shitty bf and husband, wow.

Like he may think he’s being “private” by not blabbering about them publicly yet we get 73829939 articles about them.

I have to wonder if he views all of this differently even down to the racism, like oh well her friends had questionable tweets years ago but they’ve changed and I love her so it’s all fine, my fans are doing the most.

But then I remember the shower video, how did she explain that…..oh one of your fans hacked me. I wonder if she cried or something and that’s why Scott said fans or the internet make things hard.

But then I think of the pap walk and them looking distant.

Like is like a tennis match back and forth.

But if it is real, then he has to be running the shots. He purposely flirted with other women last year while they were supposedly together, he talks more about Dodger, but maybe he does that to make us think it’s fake and still hope he’s good and this is all fake.

Seee what he’s done, I sound like a lunatic. 😂

It really is fucked up, if he's the one pulling strings to all this, An🫶n.

And seriously, you're not the only one who sounds crazy. I told my high school friends about this mess when I first found out, and even I know I sounded crazy 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

But like what was said before, I simply cannot believe that he'd spend "the performance of a lifetime" on destroying his meticulously curated image of over the years. It's not something you can fake. Or is this me being crazy again 😆🫣

This might come back to bite me in the ass, especially with a ball about to drop (good or bad we don't know yet) tomorrow, but I'm choosing to believe in the breadcrumbs.

From the Lucas Lee, to the Dodger needs treats to even remotely go near Chris, to the missing follows and posts (although the missing follows is iffy because of the RDJ comparison), and to the mismatched rings (I don't care if it's a thing people do, it doesn't count to me.).

I know that there will probably be another Implosion tomorrow, so please let's not make it any messier than the Fandom already is...

#An🫶n asks #booky reacts #booky answers #booky rant post #Booky's 100 Followers Celebration #chris evans #chris evans fandom #WAKE UP CHRISTOPHER #throw us something in the right direction #and make us not crazy

[themaladpativedaydreamer]

In Third Place...

Meeting The Cast

Pairing: Chris Evans x GN!Reader, Avengers Cast x GN!Reader (Platonic)

Request: Hello! Could I please request a Chris Evans X Male Reader, where the MCU cast meet Chris' husband for the first time, Chris' husband is shy N stuff, trying to make a good impression. But turns out that the MCU is even more nervous and absolutely love him! They actually form a really strong bond and he's part of the family. He can (for sure) be seen on set, bringing Chris actual food. Omg! Imagine him making food for everyone on set, cause they saw what he brought Chris and were jealous XD so much Fluff!

Genre: Fluff

Author Note: You guys must hate too me, apologies for disappearing. I've just experiencing a creative block and I haven't been able to write anything for awhile and the fact that I'm in my exam week does not help. I just wanted to write something that I'll be satisfied with but it hasn't happened until now. Again, so sorry for making you wait so long, I love you all for your support and I hope you enjoy my first Headcanon, feel free to give notes because I would like to get better at writing these and writing more of them.

It all started on the set of the movie ‘Knives Out’ where Y/n was the lead wardrobe stylist and had the chance to meet all the cast members and more particularly, Chris Evans.

Their relationship went from business casual to something more personal. They went out more often and hung out at their houses until they started to develop feelings for each other.

The casual hang outs became dates and they went from being best friends to boyfriends. Their relationship continued for a year before Chris learned that he was utterly in love with Y/n prompting the idea to propose. 

Y/n and Chris had officially been engaged and living together but their dream wedding was halted by the pandemic so they had a very short ceremony with only important family members. Y/n had officially taken Evans as a surname.

As things began to ease, in terms of the lockdown and protocols, Chris was able to return back to set and continue working on his movie, Avengers: Endgame. The cast was aware of Chris’ marriage and were insistent on meeting the person who made Captain America happy.

A dinner time conversation later, Y/n had agreed to come on to the set to meet the cast. They were a bit anxious but more excited than ever to meet the people Chris had always spoken about. 

Meanwhile on set, “No Tom, you can’t wear your suit to meet Y/n.” Scarlett reprimanded as everyone was anxiously fixing themselves up for the arrival of Y/n Evans. “Maybe the original Avengers should introduce themselves first, they’re more likely to recognize us first?” RDJ offered but this only sparked arguments across the cast.

The arguments ceased when a whistle was heard and their attention was on Chris who had his arm wrapped around his partner and shaking his head at his fellow castmates. Y/n wore a sweet smile letting out a cough to cover the laughter that wanted to escape. 

“You must be Y/n! Chris gushes about you all the time.” “He never stops.” Sebastian and Anthony said as they approached Chris’ partner bringing him into a friendly hug. This continued as the rest of the cast introduced themselves as jokes and laughter were shared, Chris was happy to see his two families coming together.

Y/n had visited the set more frequently, bringing all kinds of snacks and drinks, occasionally bringing homemade food and enough for the cast, mainly because they would get jealous and beg Chris to start sharing.

The Marvel fan base even knew Y/n, it all started when Lizzie took a selfie with them and posted on Instagram sooner or later, the entire cast tried to get as many selfies with Y/n as possible. 

They had hang outs, movie nights, and shopping sprees. Y/n had been accepted by the entire cast as their Honorary Avenger.

#Chris Evans x GN Reader #Avengers x GN reader #Avengers imagines #celebrity masterlist #Avengers Cast x reader

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 386. brb x oc

a/n: my day was awful uwu (comments and reblogs are super welcome and encouraged!)

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: none

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/

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/367/368/369/370/371/372/373/374/375/376/377/378/379/380/381/382/383/384/385

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! )

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @novastories @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix @lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2

@emilybradshaw @louisahale @leobabbyyy @booklover2sblog @ktjmac @graciereads @bigpoppajes @taytaylala12

@caitsymichelle13 @becks-things @caatheeriinee07 @fanboyswhore9 @jesfreedark @katiemcrae @lilmonstrjedi @hobiismyhopeu @teacupsandtopgun @insominac23 @gh0stsgoodgirl @mygyn @chavivaelisheva @kmc1989 @enchantingharmonyalpaca @callsign-magnolia @mrsbradshaw01

@lyn-js

-

How was it going so far???

Alright.

He was nursing himself to some punch,non-alcoholic, they still had to go back to the hotel after all. He was sitting on the corner as Beatrice busied herself in getting some water instead of punch, his smile widening as she looks back at him, “I got some lemon water.” she announces, holding the glass “It’s nice, you want some?”

Rooster's smile softened at Beatrice's thoughtful gesture, "Sure, honey," he replied, accepting the glass with a grateful nod, "Thanks."

Beatrice returned his smile, her eyes shining with affection as she watched him take a sip of the refreshing lemon water. As they stood together, sipping their drinks and chatting quietly, Rooster's mind wandered back to their earlier conversation with Jason. "You know," Rooster said suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence between them, "It's funny how life works sometimes. Meeting old friends like Jason...it's like stepping back in time."

Beatrice nodded in agreement, "Yeah, it really is," she murmured softly, "It's strange how certain moments can transport you back to a different time and place."

Rooster took another sip of his punch, feeling a sense of nostalgia wash over him as he reminisced about their past. "Do you ever miss it?" he asked quietly, his gaze drifting to the dance floor where couples swayed to the music, "The way things used to be?"

Beatrice sighed softly, her heart heavy with longing for the carefree days of their youth. "Sometimes," she admitted with a wistful smile, "But then I remember how far I’ve come since then. And I wouldn't trade where we are now for anything."

 "Me neither," he replied softly, reaching out to take her hand in his, "I'm grateful for every moment we've shared, even the difficult ones."

Beatrice squeezed his hand gently, her eyes shining with love and gratitude. "Me too," she murmured, leaning in to press a tender kiss to his lips, "I love you, Rooster. Always."

Rooster's heart skipped a beat at Beatrice's words, overwhelmed by the depth of emotion in her voice. "I love you too, Beatrice," he whispered, his voice filled with sincerity, "Forever and always." he leans down to kiss her forehead.

Weird to have a romantic moment when Get Low by Lil Jon started playing.

Beatrice smiles up at him, “Are you having fun?”

He hums,hugging her close to press his lips to her forehead “...you know…I am,a little. It's definitely...an experience," he replied, his eyes scanning the room as the pulsating beat of the music filled the air.

The music continued to pulse around them, the energy of the crowd infectious as they danced together in the dimly lit room. Rooster held Beatrice close, his hands tracing gentle circles on her back as they watched the crowd.

It was…something, but at least those people were having fun.

"Hey, you know what?" Rooster said suddenly, his voice low and intimate as he looked into Beatrice's eyes, "I'm really glad we came here tonight. It's been...nice."

Beatrice smiled up at him, her eyes sparkling with affection. "Me too," she murmured softly, "It's been a wonderful night, I’m glad you are having fun.”

Rooster's smile widened at Beatrice's words,he held her a little tighter, kissing her forehead, thanks gorgeous. At some point, the DJ switched up the music, transitioning from upbeat dance tracks to slower, more romantic tunes. Rooster pulled Beatrice closer, "Remember this song?" Rooster murmured softly, his voice barely above a whisper as he recognized the familiar melody.

Beatrice nodded, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she leaned into him. "Of course I do," she replied, her voice soft and tender, "It was one of the first songs you played on the piano for me.”

“Yeah…’ he smirks, holding out his hand “Shall we?”

Beatrice's heart fluttered at Rooster's invitation, a warm glow spreading through her chest as she took his hand. She let him lead her to the center of the dance floor, their movements fluid and graceful as they swayed to the music.

As they danced, Beatrice couldn't help but lose herself in the moment, the world around them fading away as she focused solely on Rooster. His touch was electrifying, sending shivers down her spine as they moved together in perfect harmony.

Rooster held Beatrice close, his arms wrapped protectively around her as they moved to the rhythm of the music. He pressed his forehead against hers, his breath mingling with hers as they shared a tender moment together.

Beatrice gazed up at Rooster, her eyes shining with love and adoration as she lost herself in his gaze. In that moment, surrounded by the soft glow of the dance floor lights, she felt like the luckiest woman in the world.

The song came to an end, but Rooster didn't let go of Beatrice. Instead, he pulled her closer, his lips brushing against hers in a gentle kiss. Beatrice melted into his embrace, her heart overflowing with love for the man who held her in his arms.

"I love you," Rooster murmured against her lips, his voice filled with sincerity.

Beatrice smiled up at him, her eyes sparkling with happiness. "I love you too," she whispered back, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Thanks for…being here,by the way.”

“You don’t have to thank me,”

“I know but…” he frowns “You know I was very hesitant in coming here.”

Beatrice gently brushed a stray strand of hair away from Rooster's forehead, her touch tender as she looked into his eyes. "I understand," she said softly, "But I'm glad you decided to come."

Rooster's expression softened at Beatrice's words, a sense of warmth spreading through him. He leaned in to press a kiss to her forehead, his lips lingering against her skin as he savored the moment. "I just needed a little push,gorgeous," he murmured, "You know that."

Beatrice smiled up at him, her heart swelling with love. "I do," she replied softly, "And I appreciate it more than you know. And I–”

“BRADSHAW!”

He grimaces. John.

Rooster's smile faltered as he heard John's voice cutting through the tender moment. He reluctantly pulled away from Beatrice, turning to face his old friend with a forced grin.

"Hey, John," Rooster greeted, his tone strained, "What's up?"

John swaggered over, his usual cocky grin plastered across his face. "Man, you gotta come check out this new bar I found," he exclaimed excitedly, clapping Rooster on the shoulder, "It's got the best drinks in town."

Rooster glanced back at Beatrice, a silent apology in his eyes as he tried to navigate the sudden interruption. "Actually, John, we were just about to head out," he replied, his tone firm, "Maybe next time."

John's grin faltered slightly at Rooster's rejection, but he quickly recovered, slinging an arm around Rooster's shoulder. "Aw, come on, man," he wheedled, "One drink won't hurt. Besides, I haven't seen you in ages."

Rooster exchanged a helpless look with Beatrice, silently pleading for her understanding. Beatrice nodded in response, a small smile playing at her lips as she squeezed Rooster's hand in reassurance.

"Fine, one drink," Rooster relented with a sigh, knowing that John wouldn't take no for an answer, "But my wife has to come with.”

John blinks “Wait…what? But this is a macho retreat man!”

Rooster's eyebrows shot up in surprise at John's response, his irritation growing at his friend's insistence on excluding Beatrice. He exchanged a quick glance with Beatrice, his expression tight with frustration.

"Sorry, John, but Beatrice is my wife," Rooster replied firmly, his tone leaving no room for argument, "And wherever I go, she goes."

Beatrice's heart swelled with pride at Rooster's words, her admiration for him growing with each passing moment. She squeezed his hand, silently thanking him for standing up for her.

John's expression darkened at Rooster's refusal, his annoyance evident as he glanced between them. "Fine," he muttered grudgingly, "But don't expect me to treat you any differently just because you're married now."

Rooster shrugged off John's attitude, his focus solely on Beatrice as he led her out of the room. "I wouldn't expect anything less," he replied coolly, "Let's just go and get this over with."

The bar was dimly lit and crowded, the sound of laughter and music filling the air as they entered. John led them to a corner booth, where their old friends were already gathered, beers in hand and smiles on their faces.

"Hey, look who finally decided to join us," one of them exclaimed, clapping Rooster on the back as they slid into the booth, "Thought you were too good for us now that you're married."

Rooster forced a smile, his discomfort growing as the conversation turned to their past exploits. He glanced at Beatrice, silently apologizing for dragging her into this mess.

But Beatrice just smiled at him.

He waits until she’s comfortable to sit down next to her, kissing her forehead ‘You okay with this?”

Beatrice nodded, her smile unwavering as she leaned into Rooster's touch. "I'm fine," she reassured him softly, "As long as I'm with you."

He pressed a tender kiss to her temple, silently thanking her for her support.

"Hey, Bradshaw, remember that time we crashed that party in college?" one of their friends exclaimed, his voice loud with excitement as he regaled them with tales of their wild youth.

Rooster forced a smile, nodding along with the story as memories of their reckless antics flooded his mind. “Sure…” he did not remember “It was…crazy,huh?”

Beatrice leaned in close to Rooster, her voice barely above a whisper as she spoke. "Do you really remember crashing that party?" she asked, her brow furrowing in confusion.

Rooster shook his head slightly, a wry smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Not really," he admitted quietly, "But I'm not about to let them know that."

Beatrice chuckled softly, her hand reaching out to squeeze Rooster's thigh under the table. "Well, at least they seem to be having fun, and stopped…being weird i guess." she murmured, her eyes twinkling with amusement.

"Hey, Bradshaw, remember that time we went skydiving?" John then said and Bradley just furrowed his brows.

Rooster's confusion deepened at John's words, his brow furrowing as he tried to recall any memory of going skydiving with their friends. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't conjure up any recollection of such an event.

"I...don't remember that," Rooster replied slowly, his voice tinged with skepticism, "Are you sure we did that?"

John shrugged nonchalantly, taking a swig of his beer before replying. "Yeah, man, it was epic," he insisted, "We jumped out of a plane together, remember?"

Rooster exchanged a glance with Beatrice, his confusion mirrored in her eyes. "I'm pretty sure I would remember something like that," he said with a small frown, "Are you sure you're not thinking of someone else?"

"Of course I'm not thinking of someone else," he snapped, "You were there, Bradley. Don't you remember anything from our past?"

Rooster's frustration grew at John's insistence, his patience wearing thin as he tried to make sense of the situation.

Beatrice reached out to take Rooster's hand in hers, squeezing it gently as she met his gaze with a reassuring smile. "It's okay, Roos," she murmured softly, "We don't have to engage with this if it makes you uncomfortable."

Rooster nodded in agreement, a sense of relief washing over him as he leaned into Beatrice's touch. "Yeah, you're right," he replied gratefully, "Let's just enjoy the evening and forget about whatever weird alternate reality John is living in."

“I mean,is marriage life really taking that outta your brain?”

Rooster’s glare shifted to John who really should just shut the hell up “What?’

"Marriage life has nothing to do with it," Rooster replied evenly, his tone firm, "I just have a good memory for things that actually happened."

John's smirk faltered slightly at Rooster's pointed response, a hint of defensiveness creeping into his expression. "Hey, man, I was just joking," he said quickly, trying to diffuse the tension, "No need to get all worked up."

Rooster resisted the urge to roll his eyes, his patience wearing thin as he struggled to keep his temper in check. "Well, maybe next time you should think before you make jokes about someone's memory," he retorted, his voice tinged with annoyance.

John's attempt at a joke fell flat, the awkward silence that followed stretching on uncomfortably. Beatrice squeezed Rooster's hand reassuringly, shooting him a sympathetic glance as she tried to ease the tension.

"Anyway," John said finally, breaking the silence, "Let's not dwell on the past. We're here to have a good time, right?"

Rooster nodded in agreement, grateful for the change of subject. "Yeah, you're right," he replied with a forced smile, "Let's just enjoy the evening."

“But anyway,Brad,” John begins “Your ma,is she still around? And if so…is she single?”

Beatrice could barely stop her gasp or the blur that was her husband when he launched himself towards John “Roos!!”

#im happy yall are still here #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x oc #top gun maverick #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x female reader #bradley bradshaw x named reader #tgm oc #tgm fic #tgm fanfiction

[thelonesomequeen]

I’m sorry….but if anyone in this equation needed PR, they’re not going to go as far as setting up a fake wedding. All they’d need to do is be seen out somewhere./

At this point we're reaching Cumberbatch levels of denial, here. People still clinging to PR talk are willingly shoving their heads in the sand. It was never PR because there is no way his team would have chosen a relationship that would cause the very predictable backlash the age difference brought, not to mention the other issues surrounding Alba and her friends. No star or their publicist would allow for PR that would damage the image they’d been crafting for years.

I have never understood why people think this man, as image conscious as he is and with the kind of rep he was building up, would suddenly crash it all for something fake. He loves this woman. He chose her. He knew all this was coming (which is why he deleted his social media) and he did it anyway.

The point of PR is positive promotion. This ain't it by a LONG shot.

If people really want to believe multimillionaires like Scarjo, Hemsworth and RDJ are willing to be paid to prop up a relative non-entity and look stupid attending a fake wedding, then no amount of pictures and certificates will ever prove it to them, because they'll claim those 'could be fake too'.

These are people who will claim Alba is wearing a fake baby bump and that any kids they're seen with are paid actors. She could give birth on livestream and they'll say it's a deepfake.

The man is MARRIED, whether people want to accept it or not. Good grief.

[mwagneto]

Just saw your post about the many sherlock holmes adaptations and their problems and wanted to ask, what do you think are the worst and best adaptations + your opinion on the bbc show vs guy ritchie’s adaptation

PHEW okay big question. so in my personal opinion my favourite adaptation is the ritchie one and my least favourite is bbc. objectively speaking the worst ones are ... well there's a lot I'm ngl I'm very picky but probably Holmes & Watson, the absolute trainwreck that some cruel force allowed to be made and released in 2018 which is awful in every single way like it's genuinely unwatchable. Granada/the Jeremy Brett one is probably the most faithful, but i think Murder by decree and Without a clue are great takes on it, and of course The private life of SH is iconic and Russian Holmes is close to my heart because the locations and architecture etc look really similar to where i live so it's really special that way. (i actually have a tierlist of almost every adaptation I've seen, there's been more since but I've been too lazy to update it lmao)

putting this under a cut because it got LONG

i think there's several layers to what makes an adaptation great, like to ME the most important thing is that they nail the h&w dynamic, either by using the one in the books or by making it clear that they understood what the dynamic was and chose to put a different spin on it but like. if they're not obviously "can't live without each other" friends and (at least) a little bit gay then what's the point. also with modern adaptations there's smtg I've literally only seen done right ONE time, which is Holmes's drug use where everyone adapting it to the 21st century insists on keeping it cocaine or smtg similar? which, like, no????? like ppl don't seem to realise that when he was written, cocaine was like. perfectly acceptable. and Watson still worries about it because he's a doctor but that's in no way equivalent to someone NOW using cocaine and their doctor friend worrying. there's that super old post that's like "modern holmes should be addicted to energy drinks" and well yeah. absolutely that, or the way House md solved it by having him be addicted to painkillers that he gets in a kinda shady way sometimes.

n then obviously there's the cases. again this is an opinion but i think it's good when they're straight up adapted, and i think it's good when they invent a brand new mystery, but i absolutely cannot Stand when they take an existing case from the books but put their own ~special smart boy~ spin on it cough cough MOFFAT like the worst examples of this are probably the way he butchered Baskerville and ASIB because he thought he was sooo much smarter than everyone and couldn't just adapt these extremely iconic stories straight up, nonono let's make them a billion times worse.

as for Ritchie vs BBC, i don't really think i can compare them, simply because I can't be objective? like the rdj holmes movies are easily among my favourite movies of all time, not because they're so outstandingly good but simply because I'm so attached to them, while even a mention of BBC can send me into feral dog mode. not to mention my history w them is 1. complicated 2. inherently tied to each other so yeah i don't think an objective comparison from me is really possible, at least if i want to avoid making this response a 10 hour read. but umm if i wanna go by key points:

1. i think rdj absolutely nails the h&w dynamic while bbc completely butchers it

2. rdj kinda expands his drug use but i think it works rly well with the kinda person his holmes is, i fucking hate the way bbc treats his drug use and the only slightly nice moment about it was in the unaired pilot that. well. didn't air

3. i haaaaate the way rdj handles irene and i fucking. despise beyond words the way bbc handles irene. i dont think i have ever seen irene adapted well it's fucking miserable

4. i think the cases in rdj are... fine? they're not good tbh as in like if i was here for a mystery I wouldn't really like it BUT they're original and written in a way where they give you, the viewer, all the clues that Holmes has, so you have the ability to figure out the solutions along with him, which is crucial to any sh adaptation (and mystery in general). it's also camp and fun and ridiculous which i really like so yea no complaints from me. bbc on the other hand. god. jesus. well i mentioned this before but i fucking hate the way they adapt every story to be almost the same but way way worse because they think they're so much smarter than the books AND the viewers. and this segways into

5. aka their treatment of watson. i fawking love rdj watson i think he's one of the best watsons out there and i like him coz of his whole attitude and personality but i also think he's written extremely well in that so often adaptations fall into the trap i mentioned in the other post where they think holmes is the smartest specialest boy ever and they're just like him fr and he doesn't need anyone so watson is either just some useless guy trying and failing to keep up with holmes or a straight up punching bag. but here they actually make Watson not just competent but absolutely indispensable to both Holmes and the story, it's clear that Holmes both relies on him in things he doesn't know as well as Watson does (crucial!!!!!) and trusts him (watson) to figure things out almost as well as he (holmes) can which i think are incredibly good and important things to put in an adaptation because at the end of the day it's holmes and watson not holmes and some guy who's sometimes there to be talked at and not understand things. which of course brings me to bbc where . literally the only thing john does is get kidnapped like he's barely even there for the cases let alone HELP in any way. so yeah.

this could go on to be incredibly long because i am. absolutely insane about sherlock holmes but I'm gonna end it here, if you have any questions feel free to ask, i (evidently) really love talking about them so

#THIS TOOK ME AN HOUR TO WRITE??? HOLY FUCK #one day i WILL make that video essay and then you'll see. you will all see #i got mail! #sherlock holmes #sh stuff #acd canon #rdj sherlock #sh reviews