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#here we deal with facts and only facts
whatudottu · 5 months
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Don't question what logical loops I had to leap through to make this happen, Shockwave's already doing that for y'all :)
do you think in universes where empurata exists that shockwave can remember the feeling of having a face? of remembering seeing from two eyes instead of one? does his head burn in pain as a twitch of non-existant lips spark incomplete pathways through his brain, does he miss the sensation of teeth and tongue beneath those twitching lips, heavy against the bottom of the mouth he no longer has?
:) Big Boobie Decepticons :)
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hopeinthebox · 2 months
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tagged by the gorgeous and fabulous @cordiallyfuturedwight and @aprylynn for february's roundup:
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tagging the usual music favs: @jiminsproof @thvinyl @jimin-gaon @visionsofgideontheninth @spicyclematis @kimchokejin @jihopesjoint @monismochi plus @kimtaegis for the amy macdonald of it all 💜 and also you, dear reader. MWAH
#heads up! here comes the director's commentary:#16 Carriages - now listen. i love texas hold 'em as much as the next daddy lessons supremacist#but holy shit. it doesn't hold so much as a candle to this track.#just unbelievably stunning. i'm begging you to give it another chance if you skipped over it the first time#Don't Forget Me - me and kayla and apryl all having ms rogers in this month's list... i think we might be better than everyone else actuall#End Of Beginning - good GOD we couldn't gatekeep djo any longer but it's worth it if only for all the bear tiktok edits.#and thus i have fallen for this track all over again. yes CHEF#Showtime - now if you've known me long enough you'll know i'm an absolute sucker for british indie rock bands#especially if their frontman looks like they might not make it through another winter#so you can imagine catfish has had an inexplicable hold on me. anyway their comeback single is actually pretty good#This Is The Life - fantastic tune. 2007 if you can believe it?#what a time to be alive and at the school disco and you're singing the songs and thinking this is the life and so on and so forth#Loving You Will Be The Death Of Me - tom odell can do no wrong in my eyes (ears?) anyway. lovely lovely new album#Never Need Me - been loving rachel for a while now and this single is brilliant. highly recommended.#plus the video features florence pugh and if that doesn't sweeten the deal then christ i don't know what will#Baby Now That I've Found You - i didn't even realise this was a cover of the foundations until hearing it again recently#because alison krauss just has an incredible way of making them her own and thus it's been on repeat.#Deeper Well - okay so now i'm seeing the country thread through this month's picks.#this is another lovely new one. hearing it on the radio and the fact that they have to censor “i used to wake and bake” is hilarious to me#shoutout kayla again because great minds..#Stay For Something - CMAT is phenomenal and if you haven't listened to her yet i can't recommend her entire discography enough.#she had her arsecrack out at the brits last night and well. i would die for her#(speaking of the brits. raye... i literally cried for her. go find the recording of her live at the royal albert hall.#-watch it twice and then come back and thank me)#artists-wise - most of these guys are consistently up there.#katie melua is a new feature this time because all my amy macdonald-ing put me back onto nine million bicycles.#used to get that one mixed up with 99 luftballoons but they're really very different. i'm a fool#so tl;dr: fantastic tunes. do listen#tag#receiptify
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gregoftom · 1 year
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pretty sure i’ve seen romance movies with scenes like this
#tomgreg#where do i even start with t his horseshit okay here we fucking go.#so tom's first instinct is to go to greg when he's on shaky ground with shiv. the only way  he feels safe is to have GREG with him.#who tf would want greg as an attack dog??!?!? lets be fucking real. when he says that i think he means just a dog. just someone loyal.#who loves him and won't dick him around. i think he's pretty tired of it by now.#he wants an alliance with like. ok in this show who would you pick to ally with. i love greg but he's abso useless in terms of skills that#would keep you safe. if anything TOM would keep HIM safe. in fact tom  himself says who else has taken care of you. literally spells it out.#he even says greg is a joke; will fail; will fuck up; so what use does he have for tom other than companionship. other than love?#a dog might do tricks for you but your main reason for getting one is usually love. right? at least it should be. it would be in tom's case.#and don't even fucking get me STARTED on ''do you wanna come with me? ...sporus?" like girl.#you know what you told him about nero and sporus right. and now you're saying to him; yeah i was talking about you.#you and me. you're my favourite and i wasn't joking when i said i'd marry you.#the whole while tom is asking greg to be his attack dog his fuckin. eyes and expression we get it you're in love with  him. like it's ridic.#and all this coming with phrasing it sounds like they're fucking ELOPING. I HATE IT!!!!!! SHUT UP! stop saying that fucking shit god. god#they are so annoying. anyway#the way tom's voice breaks as he says he has things to do [what things. will i find out later.] and the deal and!!#what am i gonna do with a soul anyways... i have you what do i need it for. and as that paragraph said somewhere. he castrates his soul.#then they giggle and are fucking annoying and greg'S HANDS LOOK LIK EHE'S ABOUT TO IDK. HUG TOM? AROUND THE MIDDLE MAYBE#or do something else. and then they just hug instead and i fucking. ugh. i've had enough tbh good fucking bye
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As my following grows and as I meet more and more people who have rats, had rats, know someone who has/had rats, and love rats...
increasingly I wonder if/when a day will come... a day that I'll express rat enjoyment to someone and they'll enthusiastically ask me if I've heard of This Funnie Little Rodent Blog they like, figuring I may already know it or will enjoy it if not...
and it's.. my blog... and then I have to come out as popular Rat Tumblr blogger that they follow and now know IRL.......
#/lh#I'm saying this like it's some big deal but I'm just exaggerating for comedic effect adjfgsbkdfj#no idea what the likelihood on that looks like. based on statistics of people estimating statistics? probably likelier than we all think#anyway that time I posted a survey for a university research project here and you all wound up comprising 2/3 of our sample was so funny#I had to actually say in an academic research paper that one possible flaw in our study#was bias that may result from 2/3 the sample having come from a niche and extremely specific demographic of people#due to the fact that they flocked in from One Of The Researchers' Substantial Online Following Centered Around A Particular Theme#And Selected Specifically To Have Only A Certain Kind Of Person On It Via Boundaries And Blocking#literally you all made up 98/150 respondents (but that's assuming all digital responses were from y'all-- we had 52 paper responses)#ah but the research symposium was the best. in the paper I was able to remain that generic about it#but at the research symposium. well it's a glorified science fair. so participants have their own stations set up and observers tour them#as the participants speak to their audience; directly providing a summary and then answering any questions#some of the audience/observers are faculty and most are fellow students#so real scholarly scientific types yeah? so they had questions. thoughtful questions#long story short I confessed to numerous listeners throughout the day that the sample's bizarre gender ratio is probably my fault#around 57% women; 21% nonbinary adults; 17% men-- an unusual proportion#so I had to academically tell my professors... underclassmen..... my classmates....... acquaintances.... foes..........#... that I'm big famous in Rat#and it was so. djkjSBCJXHQKRIGAJFSHF
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navree · 8 months
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how to take part: go to pinterest, search "[your name] core aesthetic" and create a moodboard from the first nine images!
coziness, countryside, couture, all with a dash of frenchness — the amélie moodboard
tagged by my dearest @snckt and tagging whoever wants to!!!! if you see it you're tagged go do it <3
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unproduciblesmackdown · 9 months
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more info, via a couple of reviews:
"Is this the best, most exhilarating, most close-to-perpetual dancing ever to grace the Goodspeed Opera House stage?
It certainly could be.
The new stage adaptation of “Summer Stock” at the East Haddam theater has plenty to recommend it in terms of the canny script and the hummable songs. But it’s the dancing that leaves the biggest impression.
The show is jam-packed with choreography from Donna Feore, who also directs, that is thrillingly executed by the cast.
We’re talking: Gravity-defying kicks. Head-spinning turns. Male dancers lifting and tossing and catching the female ones. It runs the gamut from Cossack-dance athleticism to soft shoe grace, tap precision to Lindy hop energy.
How the cast manages to sing after executing these (literally) breathtaking numbers, I have no idea.
And how do they make it through two performances on some days? Amazing.
Also amazing: the fact that they do all this on Goodspeed’s small stage without making the space feel cramped.
So, yes, the dancing is phenomenal. But there’s more to the show than that.
This stage version of “Summer Stock” — which is enjoying its world premiere at Goodspeed — is inspired by the 1950 MGM movie starring Judy Garland and Gene Kelly. Writer Cheri Steinkellner, though, has reimagined the piece in many ways, making it better, stronger and propelled by a more modern sensibility. (Steinkellner’s writing credits range from “Cheers” to the Broadway adaptation of “Sister Act.”)
The foundational story, though, remains the same: A no-nonsense young woman named Jane is trying to save her family farm. Her actress sister (named Gloria in the version at Goodspeed) brings her compatriots to the farm to rehearse a show. Jane first spars with and then starts falling for Gloria’s beau Joe, the production’s director.
Steinkellner has also changed up the score, to great effect. While some tunes from the movie remain, she has pulled others that are in the public domain (such as “Accentuate the Positive,” “Paper Moon” and “It Had to Be You”), and she has woven them perfectly into various plot points and important emotional moments.
As director, Feore makes sure the whole enterprise has a dynamic spirit. It’s a story and a production that brims with optimism and cheerfulness.
Leading the cast is Corbin Bleu, who became famous with his work in “High School Musical” and has gone on to star in several Broadway shows, as Joe. Bleu is a true, and truly talented, triple-threat. He has a warm, welcoming presence as an actor; he also brings an authority to Joe so you believe he’s someone the actors respect and will follow. Bleu’s singing is strong and lustrous, and his dancing — particularly his tremendous tap ability — is … wow.
Arguably the biggest scene-stealer here is Veanne Cox, as the wealthy, snooty owner of huge property surrounding Jane’s. The way she trills dialogue can turn anything into a punchline. She can wave her arms about as her character repeats “l’amour” and generate audience laughs. When her character falls for the egoistic actor Montgomery Leach (played by J. Anthony Crane with Barrymore flair), Cox burbles with girlish romantic giddiness.
Danielle Wade does her own take on the Judy Garland role. She gives Jane a swagger and a tough façade that reveals a more human self during the course of the story. Wade’s most important feature is her voice, which is potent whether she’s finessing a ballad or powering through a big number. While she can’t compete with Garland’s renowned version of “Get Happy” (who could?), Wade does a good job in the number — choreographed and costumed in an homage to the original — that serves as the culmination of the production.
Arianna Rosario gets to play an interesting arc at Gloria. At first, Gloria seems to be a blithe, self-centered actress, but she later shows that she is quite the problem-solving producer. Rosario makes the transformation believable, as if Gloria is finally letting her real self come through.
The scenic design by Wilson Chin suggests the various elements of a Connecticut River Valley farm in the 1950s while still allowing room for the cast to burst into all of those big dance numbers. And the costume design by Tina McCartney provides a fun and functional take on country clothing of the era.
I will say that the second act could be tightened up (we don’t need to see so many beats of the rehearsal process), but, in total, this “Summer Stock” is sensational." [source]
(hooray for most directly explaining gloria's overall arc)
and the next review:
"A throwback to the golden age of Broadway and movie musicals, "Summer Stock" is a timeless, inspiring song-and-dance tale of good deeds, fairy tale showbiz, classic romance and backstage intrigue played out to such dazzling effect, you want to freeze frame it, take it home with you and watch it over and over again for pure fun and a let's-put-a-smile-on-your-face endorsement. This is Goodspeed Musicals at its best - old-fashioned musical entertainment designed to deliver by the bucket's load, stir the senses, rhythmically intoxicate you and dance up a continual storm of good cheer that's guaranteed to leave you breathless.
Animated. Airborne. Magical. Sweet-natured. Fresh-faced. Dance happy. It's all here, wrapped up in shiny gold ribbons and signature colors that complement and complete the picture with a technicolor flourish, a big bang and an internal logic that flows with appropriate style, stamina, full command and intent.
Adapted to the stage by Cheri Steinkellner, "Summer Stock" replays that popular let's- put-on-a-show conceit where everything rests of the big opening night, the box-office intake, the big kiss between the leading man and the leading lady and how a complete unknown saves the day right before the final fadeout. Here, struggling Connecticut farmer Jane Falbury decides to let her actress sister Abigail and her actor friends from New York use the family barn as a rehearsal space for their brand-new Broadway bound musical in exchange for doing the daily farm chores to raise enough money to keep the business from going completely under. One slight problem. During rehearsals, Jane finds herself falling for the show's handsome director, Joe Ross, who, happens to be engaged to the show's leading lady - her sister Abigail.
Staging "Summer Stock," director Donna Feore ("Chicago," "Billy Elliot," "A Chorus Line"), who doubles as choreographer, creates a loveable, intoxicating show that reels you in, grabs hold of you until the final curtain and lets you fall in love with every little detail, surprise, plot twist, joke, visual gag, one-liner and tilt of her jolly agenda while she articulates every element of this musical story with thrust, warmth, spin and splendid articulation. Directorially, she pulls it off spectacularly. No wrong moves here as "Summer Stock" catches fire with a spark, a gusto, a shine and a 1950s mentality infused with plenty of imagination, originality, style and flair.  More importantly, the production never loses sight of its origins, its functional plotting and its love of musicals of yesteryear despite well-intentioned doses of kitsch, takeaway humor, giddy backchat and story arcs right out of the MGM library of backlot moviemaking.  Feore, free spirit that she is, fuels the musical with a sharpened wit and sentiment that works especially well as does her decision to let "Summer Stock" remain rooted in the period from whence it came in terms of staging, development, expression and interaction. 
Moving from screen to stage," "Summer Stock" retains only four songs from the 1950 MGM musical. The addition of several new songs to the original version of the score turns the two-act musical into more of a showstopping event and adds clarity, luster and vintage spin to its already proven material, its let's launch into another song and dance routine blueprint and its firm grasp on characterization, story evolution and its happily ever after conclusion. At Goodspeed, there are 28 important, recognizable, smartly placed musical numbers. They are:  "Get Happy," "Happy Days Are Here Again/I Want to Be Happy," "Accentuate the Positive," "I'm Always Chasing Rainbows," "Always," "Always (reprise)," "It's Only a Paper Moon," "The Best Things in Life Are Free," "Dig for Your Dinner," "Me and My Shadow," "Howdy Neighbor, Happy Harvest," "Red Hot Mama," " 'Til We Meet Again," "You Wonderful You," "June Night," "Some of These Days," "Joe's Dance," "I'm Always Chasing Rainbows (reprise)," "It All Depends on You," "Always (reprise)," "Everybody Step," "Lucky Day," "How Ya Gonna Keep 'Em Down on the Farm," "Hinky-Dinky Parlez Vouz," "It Had to Be You," "Get Happy (reprise)" and "You Wonderful You (Finale)."
Musical director Adam Souza ("42nd Street," "Cabaret," "Next to Normal," "A Grand Night for Singing," "Because of Winn Dixie," "Rags") grabs hold of the "Summer Stock" score and allows it to breathe, gesticulate, excite, envelop and rhapsodize with the golden age sentimentality of MGM movie musicals and the timeless, larger-than-life spirit of old Broadway. Here, every song matters. Every song is important. Every song travels down memory lane. Every song is tuned to the max with sweet, centered, warm-heartedness. Every song fulfills its intended purpose. All of this is complemented by the strong, flavorful sound of Souza's orchestral team, all of whom share his tremendous sense of theatricality, musical interlude, impassioned communication and delight of the actual musical itself.  They are: David Uhl (bass), Sal Ranniello (percussion), Liz Baker Smith (reed 1), Andrew Studenski (reed II), Travis Higgins III (trumpet) and Matthew Russo (trombone). As with other Goodspeed musicals, Souza doubles as conductor and keyboardist. As "Summer Stock" zings and pops, pretty music every song unfolds with a contagious orchestral musical glow, matched by the splendid musicality of the entire cast who address the catchy, homespun music and lyrics with perfect harmony, rhythm, phrasing and nostalgic commitment. These elements heighten the on-stage mode of the production, its progression from Act I to Act II, its send offs, its pastiche and its electrifying, barn-raising influence and thwack.
As with any big stage musical, choreography is key to a production's success, its fluidity of form, its artistic expression and its accompanying dance routines. Here, Feore, as choreographer, gives "Summer Stock" a highly personal touch of invigoration and speedy excitement that is tipped and generated with wonderfully elongated inspiration, stamina and determination. This is star quality choreography that peaks, shines and tilts with clever build ups, catchy dance steps and bold, concentrated rhythms, moves and beats that joyfully celebrate 1950's musicals in all their technicolor glory.   As storyteller and dance interpreter, she brings great dimension and scope to the piece using techniques, styles, descriptions and an enriched canvas of thoughts and ideas that make their mark most engagingly. Everything that happens on the Goodspeed Musicals stage has been beautifully blocked, rehearsed and staged with such thrust and individuality, no two dance numbers are alike. In fact, once "Summer Stock" catches fire, there's no stopping it.  Creating a freshly minted fusion of moods, tableaus, lifts, twirls and swirls, Feore pays homage to the actual vintage look and mindset of the musical, its dance-friendly art form and its free-flowing feel of excitement and exhilaration. Hands pop. Arms move heavenward. Dancers smile and glisten as they passionately ignite into joyful visions of sweetness, passion, frenzy and syncopation. Everyone is lost in the moment illustrating the traditions, the conscience and the power of musical theatre, giving and getting the most out of Feore's phenomenal, ovation-worthy choreography. Trained, drilled and confident, they each get a chance to shine - and shine they do - all making strong impressions that will live long in memory.
Making his Goodspeed Musicals debut, Corbin Bleu, as Joe Ross, a character originated by Gene Kelly in the 1950 film version, creates a "Wow!" song-and-dance-man factor chock full of charm, personality, self-confidence and full-beam, champagne delightness that astounds, cajoles and sparkles with leading man gait and luxury like no other. No matter what he does, he's a proverbial triple-threat (i.e., a player who excels at acting, singing and dancing) who makes everything that happens on stage feel fresh, spontaneous, real, raw and very much in the moment. It's in his eyes. It's in his moves. It's in his expressions. Exhibiting a sweet, contagious rapport that extends far beyond the footlights, it's the performance of the year and one that Bleu exudes with a Gene Kelly/Fred Astaire aura of showbiz savvy, knockabout whimsy, graceful athleticism and sterling encapsulation. "Joe's Dance," a solo dance number in Act II performed by Bleu only furthers that notion.
In the role of Jane Falbury, a role made famous by Judy Garland in the original "Summer Stock" MGM musical, Danielle Wade lights up the Goodspeed Musicals stage with a breezy, intuitive musical comedy performance of real warmth and spirit that is a constant joy to watch. Veanne Cox, cast in the role of the wickedly devious Connecticut farming magnate Margaret Wingate, is jaw-dropping brilliant, using humor, music, dance and melodrama in divinely daft and glorious ways that prompt applause and laughter whenever she's in the limelight. It's a scene-stealing performance so seamlessly entrenched in glee and fiery abandon, Cox, would be the ideal choice to play narcissistic Broadway diva Dee Dee Allen in the 2024 summer presentation of "The Prom" at Playhouse in Park in West Hartford. I'll personally deliver the contract. Other memorable performances are delivered by Arianna Rosario (Gloria Falbury), Stephen Lee Anderson (Henry "Pop" Falbury), Gilbert L. Bailey II (Phil Filmore), Will Roland (Orville Wingate) and J. Anthony Crane (Montgomery Leach). A musical escape brimming with delightful songs, engaging performances and full-beam dance numbers, "Summer Stock" is not only a bubbly tonic for theatergoers of all ages, but one that kicks nostalgia into high gear with uncomplicated bliss, fizz and vintage sparkle. It sings. It dances. It pops. It dazzles. Like "42nd Street" which played Goodspeed Musicals last season, it overflows with Kelly/Astaire lightness, punch and precision, sunny vibes and well-played exactitude. The energy displayed here is fast and furious with first-night exhilaration and thrill paired especially well with Corbin Bleu's charming star turn, Danielle Wade's joyous "Get Happy" abandon and Veanne Cox's well-prepped, icy cool villain. This is musical theatre of the highest order - infectious, irresistible, glorious. Its leave-your-troubles-at-the-door/Let's-put-on-a-show mentality accelerates with sparkle and cherry pie goodness. And boy, do we need it now!" [source]
(the reference to jane's sister abigail uses the film's names: abigail becomes gloria in this production, which is the name of abigail's actor in the film, which also mirrors how the role of herb is now phil, also the name of herb's actor in the film)
(also shoutout to providing A Full, Chronological List Of Songs. noting that according to another interview, intermission would be between "you wonderful you" and "june night")
#summer stock#dearth of peak relevant info for our purposes otherwise lol but hey#pressing f for danielle wade's performance Tending to be juxtaposed w/either corbin bleu's or judy garland's#which in fact doesn't always mean their going ''eh comes up short Relative to that comparison but good enough'' but yknow#also that role just isn't gonna be designed to be the most thrilling lol...let's get those character(tm) parts babeyyy#further photos of that preview performance do suggest there's more like midshow conflict b/w jane & gloria vs Only getting along great....#and intrigued here if it's like yeah gloria can be written to have Flaws kiiinda like the film dunking on her though not as much as it#(though not as much as it might've; parallel to orville; relevant to their compatibility lol though in this show it indeed just might not#go for ''conveniently gloria's also always already liked him & orville's just glad someone's being nice to him'' lmao. & in fact yes the#material already in the film was like hm sure could be the queer readings in these ''so you're doing cishettery wrong'' roles here#and going aw man wrt the comedy boys herb/phil & orville/orville not getting to interact more#herb getting to make One reference to kinda being the outsider/misfit even amongst the troupe like hey more abt that? what's your job also#meanwhile yeah you can do something like ''oh gloria has this idea re: being The Star but isn't actually as interested in that Process''#but that then instead of that Just being her at odds w/jane & her coming up short she can have her own arc still#finding out what behind the scenes work she Does want to do; jane & gloria of course ending up being mutually supportive one imagines#rather than jane Just being freer from Dealing With her lesser sister or what have you; whom can graciously enough accept this#and ofc we don't Need the partner swaps for everyone's guaranteed happiness communicated through ''they're not single''#whilest the lack of [oh this backup relationship was here the whole time kind of] does make your potential love triangle trickier then lol#hence perhaps some more significant conflict if you're like kissing your sister's date or what have you & she can't Just(tm) have yours#but then being The Lead can't be the ultimate of All [doing theatre]; having kissing status w/a guy isn't the ultimate of all Arcs/Life#(though noting tim wasn't Relieved if another ostensibly straight romance; a cliche in the modern musical; wasn't shoehorned in there...)#(also the awkward notes about Male Dancers and The Female Ones like alright? supposed relevance Where?)#long post ///
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buriesitsteeth · 4 months
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Hm.
#had a dream about ex-besties again#and when I said ‘I’m sorry hearing briefly about the ab*se I was being subjected to at home and my parent’s su*cide attempts were so#annoying and boring for you. you were my only people I could trust#to open up to in the moment while I was panicking and having to very much#confront the fact that my parent was going to die.#but I’m sorry it was irritating or whatever.’#I was so right#I know friends do not exist as therapists but#I do not see how you can be all ‘oh my guy that’s awful but this this and this are ab*sive behaviours. you act this was because you are#traumatised here read this yeah yeah we need to get you out of there yeah’#one day and then the next just#cut me out like I’m some sort of cancer#if at any point they’d said hey I don’t have the emotional bandwidth rn I’m sorry#I’d have been so understanding and shut the fuck up#genuinely! I get it!#but I don’t see how you can have a friend#who is going through so much and none of it is under their control#who still manages to be there for everyone else when they’re having problems at home including you#who just once every few months needs to go ‘oh shit I need someone to talk to if you’re not busy rn/if you can deal w that atm’ in a LITERAL#CRISIS where they have no one else to lean on#and who will need support if they’re going to eventually leave home#and go ‘meh whatever I’m going to end the friendship in the worst and most damaging way I can think of lol’????#like?? everyone else around me is like oh just move on move on#but I’m just going over and over it in my head#How can you know the wounds and then drive the knife in anyway?#I don’t think people understand like I don’t let anyone close because this is what happens#and so to trust#more than you’ve ever trusted anyone ever#and have them suddenly disappear? without a word?
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ghostighostly · 4 months
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I have made. Many mistakes,,,
I've gone from 'eh i never do anything dont worry we can play videogames!' To 'Sorry cant talk i have the next 3 weeks scheduled to the second and am actively having a panic attack. Bye!'
How did this happen? Christmas. And divorce, but that's less impactful.
I will now proceed to rant in the tags gootbye forever.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#guess who fucking fried 3 very fucking expensive machines today. me. i did#bc a fucking cabled decided to burn out and there was only one little symptom so i switched out the sensor head and inadvertently fried#another instrument. then when i was wait. hang on wtf happened here? and i was trouble shooting. i fried another one. so im down to one#machine. fucking holy christ. one mother fucking cable. a problem i cant fucking control and then i just fucking spred the problem#god dammit. which means i either have to do 20 additional days or we cut the number of reps to 7 or 8#and because of this. ive Disrupted the plans of 4 different labs bc it takes at least 3 months for them to do calibration#ugh. i was so angry. whatever. its fine. these things happen in labs and u kinda just have to deal with it. i dont really feel bad on a#personal level bc ive been working with these things for like 4 years and if i mishandled the problem something was pretty fucked up#bc ive fixed a lot of fucking problems on those machines. bleh. and as im like simmering with rage my family is texting eachother like#yayyy vacation soon ☺️#ugh. its just so frustrating bc i onlu had like 7 days left and i could have got thru all 10 reps. its gonna b maddening on one machine#ans ill have to do more when i fucking get back from vacation when i want it fucking done now but whatever ive bought#my fucking plane tickets and i leave in less than 2 weeks. plus ill get to spend at least one day at home#god im gonna be such a fucking bummer tho. im gonna get of the plane and my fam will b like how r u? and im gonna b like not fucking great#i am barely a functional person and im sure ill b so stressed abt thr fact i have to come back here that ill b on edge the whole time bc#thsts what happened over winter break. whatever. next weekend ill b fucking outta here for like 11 days#and just a few more months until i can leave for good. never walk into thst fucking building again. not that i have anything ready for thst#move. bc again. im barely a functional person#god. now i have to fucking ask for thr stupid bottom of the chamber for this last machine. i swear to christ if i have to fucking drive#down to [redacted] i fucking dont even kno#unrelated
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enigma-absolute · 1 year
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Today marks 10 years since I first really stepped into the Eddsworld fandom and went through an event with it.
But it also happened to be first anniversary of its creator's passing. This year marks the 10th.
I figured 13 year old me wouldn't want to feel alone in that moment, so I made this to join her and go through the flow together.
Without Edd and Eddsworld, I don't think I would've had that accessible foundation, can-do mindset and enthusiastic influence, admiration and desire to animate and make stories of my own. I was a year too late when I first entered into the fandom and heard about it, but these past 10 years taught me it's never too late to make an impact and tell your tales - no matter how long they'll take.
Thank you Edd Gould. For everything.
#chris rambles#my creations#i sobbed a lot while making this and dealing with CSP crashing a few times during progress#long post#Edd Gould really did say to a friend that last set of green lines if you hit the readmore#it doesn't feel right to tag the fandom this time#EDIT: okay so i've got myself to cry a little more and put myself together#and boy howdy i understand now what it means when an emotional overload impedes your communication#(is annoyed at spelling+grammar mistakes in-comic and description but no i'm not gonna change it)#my god this fandom had both the best of times and worst of times - moreso fandom troubles than personal but still#fun fact: i got to meet a good bunch of the EWFM crew back in the day through the years and some are still good friends of mine#(this is when things were FINE and NOT WEIRD i'm talking early-mid 2010's here people)#some are moreso acquaintances and most just drifted away (that's fair!)#only one of them i know for a fact either one of us would take a bullet for the other (and if you're curious he was a lead role VA)#(won't say who for privacy but listen. A. if you're reading this: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I AM SO GLAD WE ARE FRIENDS)#yeah the friendship goes that deep and he makes me happy to say that I'm his friend#(he's also the only one of all the online friends i've mailed and penpaled to - who has sent stuff back. Nobody else but him.)#i need to chill now my goodness#there's so much ahead of me now bc of what my time in Eddsworld gave and I'm so so grateful <3
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legionofpotatoes · 2 years
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incredibly close to adding an unpleasant wrinkle to my views on asylum seekers
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pepprs · 1 year
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hi update things are fucking terrible and my eyes hurt from sobbing. lol
#purrs#delete later#not to liveblog and be tmi or whatever but i feel terribly alone and terribly miserable so this is in fact a cry for help lol. or really#comfort bc im fucking going insane. so for context last spring when i was still an intern another intern orchestrated this back channel#where everyone was supposed to talk shit about our supervisors (my dearest most belovedest mentors) and all of us hid it for months and it#all came to a head at asb 2022 because there was a lot of drama witb the asb student facilitators and our staff team. and it was sooooo ugly#and messy and horrible and probably played a direct role in one of my dearest beloved est mentors (who was the point person for asb) fucking#getting a new job and abandoning us in july lol 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 and so i became a full time staff member and me and my remaining dearest belovedest#colleague besties fucking carried the world on oh r shoulders and put on amazing programs as just 3 of us in the core staff and we thought w#we were doing a really good job with the asb 2023 leaders and that there were no drama dynamics or whatever and guess fucking what. tonight#we found out that half of them hate us for reasons we still don’t know and all of them are at each others throats and also some of the#participants feel a type of way about us. and i know i am being a fragile sensitive crybaby over it but i have had terrible cramps all day a#and have barely slept since ive been here and feel like ive been bending over backwards to support the leaders only to find out that half of#them think we’re evil and i just… i couldn’t take it. so i cried and now im beating myself up for crying. but it’s like come ON. i know we#did a pretty imperfect job of preparing them for this. and i should just take responsibility for that and not be defensive. but it’s like… i#have NEVER seen this program in person before or been part of the planning of it. i was just a student last year like all of you. and also#HOW many fucking times did we create space for you to talk to us and invite us in. and still this shit happened. and i just feel like a#failure. and i couldn’t react to that information in any way except cry liek it’s all so over my head and out of my depth and im not as#emotionally mature as my colleagues bc im the youngest and this is my first time dealing with this and i feel so incompetent and like i#failed. failed the first time by not speaking up when i was implicated in the stupid fucking Google form back channel situation last year#and now failed the second time by not being able to prevent this stupid drama bullshit from happening again and for not catching it. and jfs#like… im in excruciating physical pain and haven’t slept and haven’t eaten well and my life is falling apart and we were ABANDONED BY THE#PERSON WHO WAS RESPONDIBLE FOR THIS (i know we weren’t abandoned she literally just got a new job i just have psychological issues) and#we’ve been running at a million miles per hour with absolutely no break and now you’re mad at us and not even telling us and it’s impacting#everyone’s experiences but you want to pretend this is fucking high school and keep secrets. i am TIRED of drama. i am TIRED of this stupid#bullshit. and not to say this bc i don’t know if asb 2022 drama factored into her decision to leave but if it did i get why * left now. i#get it. bc this shit makes me want to jump out the hotel window. i do not want to face any of them tomorrow and deal with more bullshit. i#am emotionally unstable and incompetent and not equipped to deal with this in a mature healthy way. i want this to be over NOW. im done.#ok i think that’s it um. sorry about that i just needed other people to know i am suffering and i will suppress the shame i feel about that#just this once. esp bc i denied myself the opportunity for my colleague besties to comfort me while i was crying and i regret it now lol
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frozenambiguity · 1 year
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Very long Initial thoughts and first impressions on the Caribert Archon Quest in the tags. Spoiler alert!!
#{{ this is me making a very long tag so that the people who are not interested in reading the spoilers can skip the post safely!! ~~~~~~~ }}#{{ All right!! So the first thing I find fishy in this interaction is the fact that Kaeya just… }}#{{ reveals that he is from Khaenri’ah to the traveler like it’s no big deal }}#{{ Uhm. Huh. I thought that was a secret he was deeply invested in keeping; so things are not exactly adding up here }}#{{ because remember how that was; you know; a thing..? Remember that letter Kaeya saved from the fire }}#{{ that confirmed he was from Khaenri’ah and belonged to the Alberich family? }]#{{ without his father's knowledge and permission; because that information was too highly confidential to NOT remain a secret... }}#{{ and one that he still hides to this day? You know. You remember; right; hyv? come now; it was only a few patches ago. }}#{{ the fact that he revealed it like it was no big deal makes me??? question a lot of the decisions that were made here. }}#{{ Keeping his heritage a secret has been a character motivation for Kaeya. I’m bothered about this decision on hyv’s part; actually }}#{{ not to say that the reveal was never to be done; but it could have been handled properly. }}#{{ and not so casually over some mid afternoon drink time as if it holds no importance whatsoever }}#{{ also this interaction??? A total act. I refuse to believe otherwise }}#{{ 'caring less and less about khaenri'ah?' sir; the guilt and sense of duty/responsibility that consummes you daily says otherwise }}#{{ 'My father left me in Mondstadt simply because he wanted me to have a better life?' huh. perhaps one reason; but not the only one }}#{{ nor THE reason. we have had multiple proof; so this is kaeya lying through his teeth for the sake of alleviating the conversation }}#{{ 'My surname is the only link I have with Khaenri'ah'? Read points mentioned above. Deceit deceit deceit. }}#{{ this entire interaction was a calculated; studied act; and I'm calling it as it is. if hyv intended otherwise --- too bad. }}#{{ because I'm making it my canon. }}#{{ and I truly hope that in hyv canon kaeya is being the 'you can only trust half of what he says' Kaeya; because if hyv is making Kaeya }}#{{ honest in this precise moment.... like if those words are his genuine thoughts from hyv's perspective; then; Kaeya; I'm so sorry }}#{{ but i want to have faith in hoyo; and I want to believe that they haven't forgotten Kaeya as a chara and his motivations }}#{{ and the fact that he was intended to be a khaenri'ah spy in mondstadt. something which generated a lot of conflict in his life. }}#{{ so don't @ me w/ 'oh yeah; I don't have any link or interest in khaenri'ah whatsoever haha khaenri'ah what is that?? never heard of it }#{{ anyway. Interesting to see it confirmed that Kaeya and Dain do not know each other formally; but that Dain has been spying on Kaeya }}#{{ and does not trust him. interesting dynamic. obviously kaeya didn't like having been studied and observed }}#{{ Kaeya being the Abyss Order Founder's descendant? Honestly; not surprising!! I had my suspicions. }}#{{ the clues were always there. 'heart of the abyss'. A heart is a vital part for any organism and by extent institution to function }}#{{ and so; too; is Kaeya a vital part of the abyss scheme; regardless of whether he wants to or not }}#{{ and there were other signs of it too. He has been seen communicating with them multiple times. recall diluc's introduction. }}
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kakusu-shipping · 1 year
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Where were you the day Mondatta died?
a self insert fic about loss, grief, and the stages we go through.
Ramattra was in a Talon meeting, under an agreement he’d regretted making. He was mad, he was rash, and now he’d face the consequences of his actions
Akande Ogundimu, more commonly know as Doomfist, stood proud, a live feed from Talon’s best assassin playing on a holo projection before him. Next to Ramattra was Maximillien, the highest ranked Omnic in Talon, just there for the ravager’s personal comfort.
They’d both assured him of this assassin’s efficiency, how she always hits her mark. One shot, one kill, they’d all said. When he’d had a moment, Ramattra couldn’t help but question her on this reputation.
“Everyone misses” she had answered, and now here Ramattra stood in a room of people he despised watching the brother he loved through the eyes of a killer he himself requested.
Ramattra’s grip on his staff would be enough to crush the woman’s spine three times over, as he stared unwavering at the screen, and prayed for the first time in a long time for a miracle
In an hour, the deal would be set. Mondatta would be dead, and Ramattra, his troops, his Omnics, his skills, would belong to Talon.
He would have no time to mourn in the long hours following his brother’s death. He would have no time to reflect on those back at the Shambali, the family he’d abandoned, and how they may be dealing with the loss. He would have no time to allow the pain of his choices to sink in.
And in the quiet hours, the few of them he had, he would return to the day he’d met Mondatta. Caked in blood and oil, alone on a battle field somewhere in New York city, he’d point his gun to the Monk, trembling. Mondatta would approach him and gently lay the gun to rest. He’d embrace the ravager, staining his beautiful white and gold robes in blood and oil, and Ramattra would cling to him, whimpering like a child, unable to face what he’d been made to do.
Could he face it now? Could he stand on battle fields of his own making and face his past again, knowing for sure this time his brother would not come to embrace him as he once had, sharing in the stains of his past
He had no time to ponder such things. What’s done is done. He had no time for regret, he had no time for doubt. It was time to push forward, to take what he’d been given and what he’d asked for and use it to better his people’s lives. 
The time for action is now.
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Genji and Zayne, Shimadas healed in the Shambali temples, were on tour. A journey of helping, of time off, of moments spent together free as they’d ever been.
They’d stopped in Point Pleasant, West Virginia, a small city with a little silly bit of history they both enjoyed looking into.
In moments they’d overhear someone watching the news a little too loudly in public about the loss of Mondatta. Their carefree moment of exploration around a funny man moth driven town ruined. They’d be left crushed, huddled together in a back alley attempting in vein to calm each other down
Moments from now they’d both experience grief worse than they’d felt sense Genji first died, grief over a man who loved them, who welcomed them into his home and brought them to a family that would stand by them as they healed and grew.
They would find a hotel, and grieve over night. They next day they’d pack up, and return to the Shambali to find the village quiet, in mourning, monks locked away in their homes in meditation, grieving as Zayne and Genji had.
Emile would force a smile to welcome them, and apologize for the quiet. They wouldn’t see Zenyatta.
A week would pass, sitting in silence by a crackling fire, Genji would face his little brother.
“I want to find Hanzo.” The older couldn’t bare to loose any more family, and his brother was out there, lost, thinking himself alone in a sea of his own thoughts, thinking Genji dead and gone from this world. “I want him to know I’m still here. That I still.. love him.”
It would be hard on them, the older and younger so close, and yet still so distant. A love just rekindled, splitting.
They would continue to travel, separated by entire oceans. Would they keep in contact? Could they keep in contact? A family split, miles and miles of land and sea separating them.
That would be their future. For now, in this moment, they sit together in an alley in Point Pleasant, West Virginia, crying together for the loss of someone they’d known their entire new lives.
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Emile was in a bar, packed full with his family, other students of the Shambali, Omnics big and small.
The bar tender had turned on the live broadcast of Mondatta’s speech. They didn’t have a television in the Monastery, and this bar was the only place open late enough to catch most of Mondatta’s touring live.
The room was hot with tightly packed monks, machines whirring and scraping together as they chatted amongst themselves, always a buzz to leave the temple.
Emile sat at the bar, a cup of orange juice in hand as he once again thanked the bar tender of letting them all take control of his television. He never minded, liked seeing the monks, he’d say, they always seemed so chipper.
In just a few seconds the atmosphere would change. All would go dead silent as Mondatta fell limp on the television.
No one would speak, no one would move. The humans in the rooms would hold their breath and wait.
Waiting for anything other than what they’d just witnessed to be true.
They’d all wait for hours in that little bar. They’d barrow phones from passers by. They’d knock on near by doors. The entire town would be up, awaiting an update, news on Mondatta’s situation.
Within two hours it would be officially announced that Mondatta has died.
There was only one who could shed tears in that bar that night, despite the near hundred people packed in together. He would cry enough for all of them.
In the coming days the Shambali Monastery would grow silent. Monks holed up in their homes, deep in meditation and prayer. The village would become a ghost town, spare one little human.
Emile just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t sleep in that home, knowing Mondatta would never return. He couldn’t wear those robes, knowing Mondatta would never straighten them for him again. He couldn’t sit to meditate, knowing Mondatta could never sit by his side once more.
So he cleaned, in his sweater and jeans that no longer fit quiet as nicely as they once had. He swept snow off the stairs and dusted the sanctum and washed laundry that had already been cleaned thrice over.
He would not eat, he would sleep, for a near 4 days the human kept himself busy, and never once would he step foot in Mondatta’s home.
He’d smile when Zayne and Genji would come back. He’d tell the townsfolk the village was doing just fine when he’d go to get supplies. He’d keep himself busy as the monks around him mourned.
And in 5 days time, he would collapse in the snow, dressed in few too little clothes, just as he had the day he’d arrived at the Shambali. And like that day he will be saved by a monk he’d come to know better than all the rest.
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On that day, the day they’d lost Mondatta, Zenyatta was at home, in meditation. He loved his brother dearly, but watching his speeches at protests was starting to get rather same-y. The monk needed new lessions, Zenyatta had thought to himself.
He’d be unaware of the loss for another 2 hours, until the chimes of the temple rang out, and he would join his siblings at the sanctum, and hear the news from the group that had gone into town.
Like everyone else, Zenyatta would lock himself away in his home. Sat against a wall he would stare blankly, perusing the web in his own head for any and all sources he could find on Mondatta’s death.
He’d loose track of days, reading article after article, watching video after video, scanning for anything new he could find.
Why, he would ask himself, why would anyone take out Mondatta? What could he have done, who could he have hurt just trying to spread love?
Zenyatta would spend time wishing death on whoever would do something so awful, just to retract the thought moments later. His brother would not want such a thing for even the person who would take his life.
On the third day of mourning Zenyatta would stumble into something he would wish he hadn’t. An image of the assassin.
A face to put to his desire of vengeance.
A woman with blue skin and long dark hair, an awfully tight purple suit and a large sniper rifle.
For the next few days Zenyatta would spend all his time staring at the blurry photo of this woman, wishing the worst upon her. May she loose those closest to her and may it be her own fault. May she feel the worst pains imaginable and survive. May she live the rest of her life with these regrets and no way to return. May she find a path to recovery just to have the door slammed in her face.
On the fifth day, these thought plaguing Zenyatta’s head would finally drive him mad. He would storm from his home with a bag of few things, vengeance his only thought as he crushed snow beneath his feet.
His plan to leave the village, to find the woman who did this, to put her in the ground himself, would be interrupted as a white haired man with puffy red eyes would collapse in front of him.
Thoughts of her would leave the monk alone after so long of obsession as he found himself in the company Emile, the human had taken the loss of Mondatta just about as well as Zenyatta.
That night, they would stop avoiding the truth. They’d lost Mondatta, their brother, their master, their family, and it hurt. Together they would face this, over hot tea and by a dying fire, they’d relive stories of their life in that Monastery.
Stories of sneaking out of meditations, of snow ball fights, of counting stars atop the mountain, of learning, and laughing, and being home and happy.
The night would pass and they would still be sat there, at Zenyatta’s low tea table Mondatta had gotten him for his birthday two years ago, sitting back to back in a comfortable silence.
“I want to find Ramattra,” Zenyatta will say, his hand laid gently on top of Emile’s. “He is lost, wherever he is, I am sure he is as lost as we were” He thinks back to the day Ramattra left, the fight he and Mondatta had, the last words he’d said to their brother... He knew Ramattra regretted that, now more than ever.
“We’ll find him.” Emile will smile over his shoulder, “Together.”
And in that moment, a moment of calm between storms, Zenyatta will look back and realize quietly to himself
He is in love. He has been in love for years. This. This was what love was for him.
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medicinemane · 11 months
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I don't expect you to read all my tags on that last post, but just know that it's a very very bad thing that will do a lot of damage, not just to Ukrainians but to the environment
I think most of you can understand the kind of damage destroying a major dam would do, and that's what's been done. There's no other word for what russia's done than terrorism... they've been doing that by bombing civilians for months, but... the sheer scale of this...
I tend to not share too much about Ukraine despite following it every day because I don't want to overwhelm people. I'd rather have supportive people who don't know every detail than burnt out people but... this is very bad
You have no idea how much I'd love to hear this is somehow a fake video but... I just don't see how... how that's pulled off. I'd love to be taken in here and be spreading a lie if it meant this wasn't true
I just need people who aren't following the war in Ukraine to understand that russia has caused a massive disaster... I just kind of need that understood
I don't want to cause anyone to be hopeless or anything, I just... I want to make sure people understand why this war is so important and the kinds of things that are at stake here. This isn't some territorial dispute, this is an army that routinely commits terrorism, not just here but in places like Syria, and the scale they're of terrorism they're willing to commit is... it's inhuman
Leveling cities, causing disasters like this, and they're in control of a nuclear power plant
All I'm saying is two things
The first is if you support Ukraine, great, that's all I want. If you don't... I really hope you'll look at that video and consider what destroying a damn like that means, and if we can have a country like that doing whatever it wants
The second is to understand that supporting Ukraine means supporting military aid to them. As a pacifist, even I understand that the only way to end this war is to give them the weapons they need to defend themselves and end it
Sorry... I meant this to be like a paragraph, but this is just very upsetting to me. I worried about it during the Kherson offensive, but I'd forgotten to worry about it for a long time... and then.. then here it is
I hope you all have a good night. I hope... I hope everyone in this world is as safe as they can be right now... that not just the people but all the animals who'll be effected by this end up being as safe as possible
Take care
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the-acid-pear · 9 months
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Glad I'm aro so I can fucking say some other aros out there are so fucking annoying.
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