#hes probably drunk as fuck

[captainkirkk]

Everytime Batman and Red Hood see each other they end up shouting across the streets of Gotham emotional shit like JUST COME HOME SON and YOU'RE NOT IN CHARGE OF ME ANYMORE OLD MAN and it's just Not Subtle in the slightest

No one knows that Jason is an ex Robin so everyone comes to the very logical conclusion that the Red Hood is Batman's rebellious blood son that ran away from home to pursue a life of crime and they're not even fucking wrong

#dc #batfamily #batman #new villain in gotham: uhhh why is that crime lord not invited to the annual fuck batman party?? #seasoned villain: that's batman's boy #they had a falling out over all the murder. real sad. he didnt even go home for christmas...... #seasoned villain: anyone he'll probably end up crashing the party at 2am drunk off his ass and it's a toss up over whether he'll start #crying and make everyone uncomfortable #my posts #people trying to convince red hood to go home to the bats because maybe then batman will chill out for 5 seconds #when red hood didnt come home for christmas the whole city heard about kt #it #And batman was SCARY #more than normal #red hood PLEASE call your dad before he puts us in the hospital again

[static-scribblez]

“..Mr Dear? Mr Dear, are you listening? Mr Dear? … Mr Dear??”

“What. Who. Where?”

“Eddie..! ….. Eddie are you there, why aren’t you answering? Eddie..?”

“I think I need to go home.”

“UHH HAPPY HOMEWORMIN- 🎉🎉”

#welcome home spoilers #charlie stfu #shitpost #this was literally all I could think of after watching the end of that 22 minute video #like you just witnessed this fucking nightmarish vision eddie has #you can see him sweating and he looks like he’s about to throw up #then you see a small moment he has with frank from his point of view #that moment is also possibly the first and only time we hear frank call eddie ‘eddie’ instead of just ‘mr dear’ #and then out of knowhere you just hear this guy (who’s probably drunk out of his ass) going ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU HO HO HOES’ #welcome home #welcome home website #welcome home update #frank frankly #eddie dear #frank x eddie #kinda #well it’s implied

[merakiui]

RAAA STEP BRO CATER 👹👹👹 he would ask his step sibling to do suggestive things and assures them it’s just an innocent trend :33

-🌧️

YES YES OMG MANY THOUGHTS!!!!

(cw: yandere, nsfw, stepcest, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, stalking, non-consensual photography, obsession, cater’s so creepy and gross >_<)

Sb!Cater who’s the first to swoop in when you’re brought into the family, if only to get to you before his sisters do. He doesn’t want you to become yet another sibling of his who he dreads seeing when he must return home from NRC. You take to him immediately, warming up to his friendly, “cute” personality. Of course his sisters also adore you, seeing so much potential to ruin you—or that’s how Cater views it. His sisters shower you in clothes they think you’ll love, and each outfit must be cuter than the last. Cater would feel sorry for you, but he just can’t when you seem so genuine in your gratefulness. Are you really okay with his sisters shaping you into something you might not be?

Most days, you spend your time being shown around the town by Cater. He introduces you to all of his favorite, most photogenic locations. He even takes a few selfies with you to commemorate your arrival! This is the most excited he’s been for anything. Maybe it’s because you’re interested in his photography. Or maybe it’s because you actually listen to him and treat him like a person rather than some dress-up doll. At first he sort of hated the idea of getting another sibling (especially if you’re a girl; that would mean yet another sister). He can hardly handle the two he has now, so the fact that you’re much more of a relief compared to his sisters is like the biggest blessing ever.

Cater finds he’s restless on the days his sisters take you out. What are they showing you? What are they telling you? Do they talk about him? He wants to be the one to share things at his own leisure. He’s supposed to be the cool brother! That image will be ruined if you come back knowing his life’s story. >:( when you aren’t home, Cater finds himself poking through your room. It was mainly curiosity at first, but then he’s opening your drawers to look at your belongings and to see just what kind of clothes you wear. It’s nothing bad, he thinks while he’s running his own internal assessments. Your clothes are cute, but are they really you? Do you like this sort of stuff, or is it just the influence of his sisters?

He mainly snoops. That’s all he really does aside from scrolling through his phone to look back on all of the photos he’s taken. The two of you went swimming last week, and he zooms in to look at all of the skin that’s not covered by a swimsuit. It’s silly to think this, but you really are cute. He spends the hour compiling an album of photos with you, cropping the ones that include other people. He’ll add more to this album soon.

The next time Cater’s in your room, it’s to steal your underwear. You won’t miss it; and even if you do his sisters will overhear and insist they take you shopping. So he gets to be greedy and pick from the selection. Grossly enough, he fishes through your dirty laundry instead of the drawer filled with clean pairs. He’s gone before you come back from the kitchen, and you’re wearing that pair of short shorts he likes so much. Maybe his sisters’ influence isn’t so bad this time…

Cater’s added more photos to his collection. Some taken of you when you fell asleep on the sofa watching a movie. Some taken of your silhouette against the shower curtain. Some taken of you as you’re getting ready, your back turned when he stuck his phone through the small crack in your door after it was left slightly open. He’s gotten daring with each photo, straying too close to being caught. It’s dangerous and wrong. You’re supposed to be his step-sibling. He shouldn’t have these thoughts about someone who’s meant to be family. But he thinks you’d be even cuter if he had a chance to ruin you. You don’t need his sisters’ influence. You need big brother Cay’s influence (sure, he’s only older by a month or two, but that still makes him your big brother)! :D

He’ll teach you all about the pretty parts of your body you rarely touch. And he’d know because he’s watched you for months and snooped through your things in search of sex toys. It’s a little exciting to wonder and theorize. Have you even used your fingers yet? Are you truly textbook virgin (like his friend Riddle. Oh, if that’s the case he must introduce the two of you!)? Have you even taken a cock before, whether silicone or not? It would be super cute if he was your first time! There’s a floor-length mirror in his room. He can spread you open when he slides you down on his cock to show you just how widely you’ll stretch to accommodate him. And of course he must record it! Good memories should be captured in permanence, right?

#twisted chit chat #🌧 anon #tw: stepcest #n/sfw #i need him… orz so many cater thoughts #cater introducing you to riddle and making the two of you fuck because ‘virgins lol’ #omg he probably got you drunk or gave you an aphrodisiac so now you’re all over riddle #and riddle’s ready to short-circuit #the thoughts are so scattered but i’m having a Cater Vision

[leaiss]

thinking abt a scene where Leander poisons Ais, and Ais is Very Aware that he’s being poisoned. so he looks at Leander, arches a brow in challenge, and downs the drink in one sip and does not break eye contact with him the entire time

the poison doesn’t work and Ais smirks sitting down the glass on the bar counter, his eyes darkening

#leander x ais #ais x Leander #touchstarved #leais #touchstarved leander #touchstarved ais #is he gonna kill ‘em? are they gonna fuck? both? probably #one of my headcanons since ais isn’t human is that poison just Does Not work on him #and that it makes him drunk #and that’s why Leander keeps poisoning him #dear queue #i need to write this

[plainemmanem]

getting wine drunk with modern!steve and watching scary movies curled up with each other in bed and probably him eating u out </3

#and probably a blowjob😞 #he’s so slutty when he’s wine drunk just constantly grabbing and pawing at you i need him to fucking bad i’m sick to my stomach #i am wine drunk

[snvffsoda]

it's so funny when i imagine Ren or Strade kidnapping me considering im as big as Strade and taller than both of them like yeah good luck dragging my 6’2 unconscious fat ass back into the car

#me and Strade would butt heads at first #we’d hit it off really well at the bar probably get drunk and laugh about shit #after he'd kidnap me tho #he’d annoy the absolute shit out of me and he'd probably just gut me #or maybe he'd make me his apprentice or sum shit considering im just as fucked as he is #but Ren tho #i’d get Stockholm syndrome so fucking fast #i think id survive with him tbh #btd ren #btd strade #btd #snvffsoda

[sidetongue]

covered in mud

#sidewalk chalk #give me one #when i miss miller i play its nice to have a friend by taylor swift #and i know its probably a gay coded lil ditty #but god i miss her #and it was nice to have a friend #a friend who would dance with me when i was drunk #a friend who would walk stride for stride with me while everyone else took off ahead #a friend who would tuck her head into my neck and breathe a hot breath of content as she snuggled in close #man i miss her #i miss everything about her #the good the bad the embarrassing #the barking at the nieghbours #the innapropriate humping #the way she would scoot her front feet on cue in a way that i could NEVER even TRY to teach another dog #sometimes i look at sprig and man i love him #but sometimes #when he wimps around and pees submissively when i look at him funny #i hate that he will never be as fucking miller as miller was #harold #dogs

[hella1975]

ive never felt more rural than i have in the past few weeks since hanging out with a lad who has only ever lived in cities. what do you MEAN YOU'VE NEVER DONE A MORRIS DANCE

#he didn't even know what morris dancers WERE i said some shit like 'you know it's summer when the morris dancers come out' #and he was like 'the what now' I FEEL LIKE IM GOING CRAZY. HE'S FUCKING WITH ME SURELY #AND THIS HAPPENS SO OFTEN ABOUT THINGS I JUST ASSUMED WERE BASICS #'harvest festival 🤨' PARDON. YOU ARE JOKING #and also the CONCEPT of a village is baffling to him. i said there's probably about 100 people in my entire village #and we don't have a pub or a single shop the closest ones are in the NEXT village over which is a 3 mile walk #and this boy was HORRIFIED. we are both in a constant state of thinking the other is taking the piss #and now every time i think/do something abundantly rural im SO self-aware 😭 #my mum told me the farmers are gonna do a xmas tractor run through our village this year #(they usually miss our village bc even by village standards it's tiny) #and she was like 'shame you'll miss it! i'll send you a video!' and im there already picturing this boy's face when i show it him #like sigh. yeah. yeah okay maybe the rural england is ingrained deeper than i feared. never escaping the allegations etc #had a conversation with him the other day that concluded with me 100% genuinely being like 'you need to touch grass' #i literally said 'i think it would fix you. like actually go and touch some grass what the fuck' #bc at this point he's so far removed from nature that it's INSANE TO ME. i didnt realise how much i took growing up rurally for granted #THESE PEOPLE DONT EVEN GET DRUNK IN FIELDS. THEY HAVE NO FIELDS. I HAD TO EXPLAIN TO HIM WHAT A CAMP OUT WAS

[dittomander]

but anyway why is Bruno's room full of stone effigies of his own screaming face??? was that his idea or casita's? were those there when he got the room as a 5 year old or were they added later? did he just like the ✨aesthetic✨? were they an attempt to deter visitors? did he just want to amp up his "spooky fortune teller" vibes or were they just something he thought would be hilarious to do after an especially wild night out drinking with his brothers-in-law?

#encanto #bruno madrigal #like the stairs and the sand: okok fine I get that #self isolation and gift requirements: fair enough #but the faces? y'good my man? #it's probably cos he's the og madrigal theater kid #bruno while drunk off his ass: hehe. casita I have a great idea #bruno very hungover the next morning: okay what the FUCK

[winepresswrath]

The author is dead but according to our beloved necromantic traditions Jod is neither telling a series of slickly manipulative half-lies nor painstakingly recounting the truth as best he is able. He is drunk and ranting at McDonalds. Perhaps most crucially, he is going to regret this when he sobers up.

#no but he HAS been drunk and he's god. he can probably get fries with his geriatric and adoring admiral if he wants them #also I DID very much start a harrow reread and to the surprise of probably no one it's very rewarding in a post Nona world #John going off about how absolutely no one has to know about harrow's murdergenesis #that no one has the right to know? I'm late I'm late but oof does that hit different in light of his late night confessions #when god regrets spilling his guts in the early a.m. what does he do about it? #I'm worried for our girl harrow #mr. no one ever forgives you for real and I am so uncomfortable with anyone being mad at me #I created a society where everyone worships me as a god #and now!!! im fucking Admiral God's Home is On This Ship #You Speak of frailties I had not noticed in GOD #sarpedon goes from responding to jod's touch like a brand to getting his dick in #pour one out he is having the ABSOLUTE wildest time #Jod has been on that ship for 80 years! longer than his whole career! #anyway the guy who mindwiped all his friends so they couldn't judge him and then killed them when they got mad at him anyway #and THEN decided to fuck someone who adores him unconditionally to help with the breakup sadness #may not respond well to that post drunken honesty vomit vulnerability and regret

[designernishiki]

#no one’s gonna pick date but god that’d be a funny option #he’d be supportive but also would be so caught off guard and so uneducated on the topic he’d say just. the stupidest shit #and you KNOW kiryu would just say it out of the fucking blue. date would probably drop a glass or something behind the counter. whiplash #anyway honestly it’s always been hard for me to pick between haruka and daigo- haruka obviously is the number one most important person to #him and if he’s gonna be that vulnerable with anyone it’s most likely gonna be her #HOWEVER. if he (miraculously) picked up on daigo never having an interest in women and having at least one close male companion that was a #liiiiitttttle too close to be Just a companion #then daigo has an advantage because. i mean. it’d guarantee the person he’d admitting this too wouldn’t judge him for it #and would have- amusingly enough- more experience in the area than kiryu himself thus the possibility for advice/reassurance #which is such an interesting conceptual conversation that I started writing it. maybe one day I’ll finish it………. #I think the only way he’d come out ti majima first would be completely on accident / incidentally #like. getting drunk with him and laughing about whatever havin a good time and after a waitress or whoever hits on kiryu majima says like #‘you know- I’ve known you for like 30 years and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you return the favor when a gal flirts with ya- so what kinda #gals ARE you into–‘ ‘I don’t think I’ve ever really been into any women. ………. ah.’ #anyway that’s just one thought #anyway have fun with this #kiryu #kazuma kiryu #yakuza #rambling #polls

[all-rock-and-roll-is-homosexual]

Brett Anderson, Justine Frischmann and Thom Yorke at the NME Brat Awards, 1994

Top photo by Kevin Cummins, bottoms photos by Steve Double

#brett anderson #justine frischmann #thom yorke #suede #elastica #radiohead #the KC one is superior because Justine and Thom don't look quite as drunk #Brett's expression in the last one is hilarious #how does he manage to be so fucked up and yet look like he's not so much better than the other two #i'm sure you've all seen that video of him backstage at this with Vic Reeves #he was drunk as fuck #and probably high as well tbh

[b4kuch1n]

tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"

#bakuspeech #number one is a house bc obviously. if u can own a house wouldnt u #he was very drunk at that time of the evening. I was not bc I have the constitution of a hot air balloon and any stimulant will blow me up #(relatively new development. france fucked me up big time turns out) #we held hand on his bed for like the whole evening. it was honestly very funny in hindsight but we were extremely earnest in the moment #and Im like. working on this thing as well. I dont got meds or therapy lmao Im bootstrappin here #but yeah early last year his bf offered to get me meds and I... turned it down... I think I was worried abt like. idk. something #but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku #but yeah with that kinda realization Ive also come to realized I've somewhat? accepted. that I'm just gonna be. like this #this in light of a number of likely chronic stuff too (hence my balloon-like constitution lmao) and #that's kinda bled into the rest of me without me really noticing #but him bringing that up fully unprompted... kinda jolted me out of it #its just. really incredibly sweet. that someone doesn't want me to settle for what I make do with #and like. preps for that work. just kinda held my hand and told me it's possible to do this actually #I didn't really express how I felt very well in that moment I think my brain is very bad and I process emotions with like a day of delay #but. well. Im thinking abt it Right Now. so yknow thats the kind of impact that had on me lol #not super sure why I wrote all this down here really. I think I just want a good n nice reminder that object permanence is real #and I exist in my friends' life even when Im going insane in a hole by myself #and with the power of friendship we can alter the universe's plan for ourselves and also kill god #that's that. anyways I eat lunch now and then pass out probably. last night was... eventful lmao #but!! very good things on the horizon hopefully. well manifestly we hold hammers and we use them #have a good day lads. let's go out and slay monsters under a highway

[muffingnf]

i don’t know how y’all just disconnect so easily like sure i can and have easily delete apps and accounts etc but even in the days i was gone i’d have periods of my heart racing so fast and feeling sick like omg BE NORMAL!!!!! anyway i logged back in today because i kept thinking about this situation at work earlier and just needed to be updated

#and now that i’m updated i feel better #loved sapnap’s response it was perfect imo #G isnt a bad guy he doesnt have malicious intentions he was just drunk snd fucking STUPID and he needs to take full accountability for it #and going by his tweet he finally realises that now #he will probably be torn to shreds for the next FOREVER but well #what can u do #i hope caiti is alright the thought of such a young girl having to do this publicly and have it dragged out longer than she was probably #expecting it to be #is horrible

[wallboys]

i think the decades of r+l=j theorizing has made us forget a little that ned made more than one promise to lyanna (one of those promises being him vowing to protect her child is still technically a theory as well). ned also promised to bring her home

#thinking about this evolved from me thinking about how benjen tells jon that he was younger than him the first time he got drunk #and how benjen would have been younger than 14 when lyanna was taken or when she died #and my little headcanon that that was when benjen got drunk for the first time #possibly blaming himself for what happened because he probably knew lyanna was the knight of the laughing tree #this post isn’t even about benjen help. stopping myself #my tag ramble should have been about starks and ‘coming home’ #‘are they ever coming back?’ / ​‘he says no one ever comes back’ / ‘he’s coming home now like he promised. he’s coming home’ #ned PROMISING to rickon that he’s coming home oh fuck #AND THATS ALL IN BOOK ONE! #asoiaf #eddard stark

[machathecat]

#I really like him ok #I'm so fucking tired rn #I'm like #Drunk when I'm tired #Wich is probably the reason why I have the courage to post this #Cause my anxiety kept tell me people are gonna hate me if I like him normally #Idk man I'm fucked up #Anyway #Airy #airy hfjone #airy one #hfjone airy #Hfjone #I'm begging please tell me I'm not the only one who cried when he died #Hyperemotional is probably a part of why I did but still #Please #I can't be alone I'm begging #Why am I tagging this so much no one is gonna read all of that #HEY NO ONE #CAUSE THE SHOW IS CALLED ONE #HAHAHA I'm such a fucking dumbass #I'm gonna take a nap now #For like #5 hours