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The Nature of Love

Summary: X and Zero aren’t sure how they feel about each other until they are apart.

Word count: 2,294


(I’m not sure what the age rating of this is so just proceed with caution I guess)


X and Zero were best friends, and they knew they cared about each other immensely. They knew they loved each other. But what they didn’t know was what the nature of that love was. Did they love each other platonically, or romantically?

Now was the time for them to find out.

Against their will they were separately assigned to extended projects. They were to be apart for quite some time, something they didn’t want.

But there was a silver lining.

Despite being apart, they could assess their relationship and uncover the nature of their love for each other.


The second day of this extended project, X felt ill at ease. He felt less comfortable than normal. As if something was different.

“This is weird,” he said. “How do you feel about this, Zero–”

X turned his head around, expecting to see his close friend standing by his side like always, expecting to hear a response.

He had already forgotten this mission was split in twine, that Zero was elsewhere.

“Oh,” X sighed. He blinked longer than normal and then stood up again, apprehensive but ready to continue this project.

He couldn’t wait for it to be over.


A week and a half into the mission, and Zero felt exhausted. Beforehand he had already been plagued with common nightmares. But knowing X was there across the hall, willing to comfort him and calm him down helped ease him.

But now he wasn’t there. Nobody was there to comfort him from his nightmares, and he knew this. Which brought more nightmares. More nightmares meant less sleep.

Zero stumbled when he walked. He was slower than normal. He new being a nanosecond too slow could lead to his demise. He wanted–no, he needed sleep. The nightmares kept him up at night, and nobody but X understood him the way one would need to comfort him.

“Shit,” Zero cussed quietly. He was having trouble keeping his eyes open.

Layer, his Navigator, had come with him, and she saw something was wrong with Zero, so she approached him.

“Zero?” she said gently, “is something the matter?”

“I haven’t slept in a week,” he said roughly. “All these fuckin’ nightmares keeping me up at night. Ungh.” He groaned.

“I’m sorry,” Layer replied, looking down. “Is there anything I can do to help you, Zero?”

Zero sighed. Layer, she was a sweet girl, and he appreciated that. But she didn’t understand him the way X did. “No, but thank you, Layer,” he said, putting his hand on his chest.

“Okay,” Layer replied. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do for you, Zero.”

Zero was too tired to reply again. He nodded and tried to smile at her, and then he turned around and stumbled away.

He turned his head and watch Layer walk away. When he was sure she was gone, he sunk to the ground and lie down.

“Ugh,” he moaned. He was so exhausted he could fall asleep right there on the hard floor.

He wanted to see X again already. He wanted to hear his voice, feel his embrace, and be calm again.

He missed him.


A month into the mission, X’s behavior had changed. He was more sullen than usual. He didn’t have Zero to talk to, he didn’t have Zero’s shoulder to lean on.

X’s Navigator, Alia, approached him. “X, are you okay?” she asked. “You’ve seemed…down lately.”

The only response X could muster was, “Mph.”

“What’s wrong?” Alia asked him.

“I…” X stuttered, “I miss Zero. I’m…not used to being away from him for so long.”

“Ah,” Alia replied. “Yeah, you two are always together. I’d imagine it would ache to be apart.”

“Indeed,” X replied. “How much longer until this extended mission is over?”

Alia stood still for a moment and checked her database. She looked at X with an anguished look. “At least three to four months. I’m sorry, X.”

X put his hands on the sides of his head and groaned loud.

“I’m sorry, X,” Alia repeated. “I wish there was something I could do.”

“It’s okay,” X said, putting his hand on his knee. “It’s not your fault.

"At least this gives me more time to assess our relationship.”

“Huh?” Alia questioned. She cocked her head.

“Zero and I are using this extended time apart to figure out what we mean to each other,” X answered her. “I know I love him, and I know he loves me. But I don’t know if we love each other as friends or more than that. So…at least we can use this time to figure that out.”

Alia nodded and gently pat X’s shoulder. “Well, I wish you luck on that,” she said, and she smiled at him. “I’m also looking forward to this ending, trust me.”

“You and me both,” X replied, laughing at himself.

Alia spun on her heel and headed in the other direction.

X’s smile quickly faded. He looked at the floor. I have a feeling… he said to himself. Him feeling flushed when Zero touched him, his core racing when Zero smiled, all the signs were there. X was getting closer to his conclusion.

But only time would tell.


Two months in, Zero was not only exhausted, but also snippy. His tiredness had given him a short temper, and so he avoided talking to people.

That day he locked himself in his temporary room. He lie on his bed and stared at the ceiling. Everything was blurry and fuzzy from his lack of sleep.

He thought to have X next to him then and there, embracing him, them curled up together, would be the best thing–wait, what?

Zero questioned himself. He had of course been intimate with X before, but in totally platonic matters: sitting together, hugging, just average things you do with friends.

But now he was craving intimacy with X that stepped beyond the borders of platonic friendship. You don’t just spoon any friends.

Zero began to think to himself. If he wanted to cuddle with his best friend in bed, did that mean he wanted to be more than friends?

Indubitably so.

So Zero had come to his conclusion: he loved X more than just a friend, and he took more than his recent desires into account. The fact that X’s smile made Zero feel happy himself, the fact that he only told X so many things, the fact that just the sound of his voice brightened his day.

But Zero had to wait two and a half more months before he could see X again.

And he wasn’t even sure if X felt the same way.

He hoped his best friend would return his feelings.


Four months in, and X felt himself longing for Zero. Not just missing him anymore.

X discretely snuck off to his room. Unlike Zero, who had been transferred to a different location for this long mission, X had stayed back.

X closed and locked his door behind him and sunk to the floor. He sat and stared up at the ceiling, sighing deeply.

It was late at night, and X felt tired, but he was in no mood to sleep.

He wanted Zero to be next to him. He wanted Zero to smile at him, to embrace him, to hold his hands, to kiss him–hold up.

X widened his eyes at himself. He speculated that he had romantic feelings for Zero, but wasn’t it a little early to crave something as intense as kissing from him? He wasn’t even sure if Zero felt the same way.

Well, X thought, at least he had come to a conclusion on his feelings. At there was only one month left of this separation. He will be able to confess then, and hope Zero returns his affections.

X slowly stood up from the floor and leapt onto his bed to turn in for the night.

He couldn’t wait to see Zero again.


The fifth and final month had arrived, and Zero couldn’t be happier. The torment was almost over.

Soon he and X would be reunited, and Zero would be able to confess his love to his best friend.

The excitement and joy of this mission nearing an end actually gifted Zero with a good night of sleep for once. For six nights in a row.

Zero supposed his brain wanted him to have enough energy to see X again. It was the most sleep he’d had in months. For the entire project other than those six days Zero hadn’t slept a wink. It felt rejuvenating to get some sleep for once.

After he woke up that morning after his seventh night of good sleep, he sat up, crawled out of his bed, and quietly said to himself, “Can’t fuckin’ wait to go home.”

He confidently strutted out of his makeshift room. Layer realized how chipper he was and inquired why, and so Zero told her, which followed by her saying she felt the same way, relieved to get out of that place in a week.

The day was near.


And at last, what they all had been waiting for, the end of the mission. The five, long, painful months had at last come to an end, and it was time for Zero to return home (along with Layer of course).

Zero was so happy to be back, but he was even happier to finally be in proximity of X again.

He made his way to X’s room and knocked on the door.

X was sitting in a chair, and the moment he heard the sound of knocking on his door, he knew it was Zero. He practically leapt out of the chair and walked quickly to the door (he was trying to be subtle).

He opened the door and saw his best friend standing there, his eyes brimming with joy more than ever before. And Zero saw the same thing in X.

They threw their arms around each other into a tight embrace. X kicked the door shut after he dragged Zero into his room.

“I missed you so much!” X exclaimed.

“I missed you, too!” Zero replied. “It’s felt like so much more than five months.”

They slowly pulled apart from the hug, still holding each other. They looked into each other’s eyes for awhile. Zero slowly and gently put his hand on the side of X’s face and leaned down for a kiss.

X was surprised at first, but his joy overtook his surprise. He wasn’t expecting Zero to feel the same way as him, but was very happy it was so.

They stood there like that for awhile, until Zero broke away from the kiss, held X’s hand and led him towards the bed.

Together they got onto the bed and Zero got his wish of getting to cuddle with X. He embraced him and X did the same. Zero pulled X closer until he was against him.

“Let’s never spend that much time apart,” X said, toying with strands of Zero’s long blond hair.

“Agreed,” Zero replied. He pulled X in for another gentle kiss.

Zero pushed himself upward and moved to embrace X from above. “I love you,” he said.

“I love you too,” X replied, “so much.”

Zero sighed blissfully. “X, words cannot describe how much I love you,” he said. “I love you more than anything. I never want to be apart from you so long again.”

“Me too,” X agreed. “I’m not capable of loving anything more than how much I love you. It hurt to be away from you so long.”

“I’ll never be away from you that long again,” Zero said, “even against my will, like that mission.”

“Does that mean…” X began in a quieter tone, “you won’t die on me again?”

“Never again,” Zero answered. “Twice is too many. I won’t die again, X, I promise.”


Zero opened his eyes after a night of good sleep. Tenth day in a row he got a full night of sleep.

It was dark in the room, but it didn’t impact his vision too much.

Zero rolled over on his side and saw his best-friend-turned-boyfriend, X next to him, facing away from him. Zero smiled at the sight of him.

He reached out towards X and gently wrapped his arms around his waist. He smiled at quietly said, “Good morning.”

X was already awake, he had awoken before Zero, but he stayed lying there, comfortable. So he was full aware of Zero’s actions. X smiled, twisted his head to look at Zero and put his hand on the side of his face. “Good morning, Zero,” he replied somewhat sleepily.

“How’d you sleep?” Zero asked X.

“Well, how about you?” X replied.

“Amazing,” Zero replied. “Best I’ve slept in…ever, actually.”

X chuckled quietly and turned to face Zero, embracing him back. “So…” he said, “are we a thing now or what?”

“Oh, you fuckin’ bet we are,” Zero replied, grinning.

X laughed again.

Zero hugged X closer and gave him a sleepy morning kiss to silence his laughter. Zero’s ears or…sound sensors were too sensitive at the moment to loud sounds, having he just woke up. It was still quite late in the morning, however.

After they broke apart from the lazy kiss, X looked into Zero’s piercing blue eyes with a smile and said, “You know we’re gonna be late, right?”

“Yeah, but I don’t care,” Zero replied. He pushed X’s helmet back and knocked it to the floor to weave his fingers through X’s chocolate brown hair.

“Me neither,” X agreed, resting his head on Zero chest.

They had found the nature of their love. And it was exactly the way they wanted it.

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Could you pretty please grace us with some soft MacDennis headcanons? 😊

Oh, absolutely. I’m emotionally compromised by Rob’s instagram story, so I’m in the mood.

•On a few of Mac and Dennis’ date nights, they get drunk enough for Mac to convince Dennis to take him to a karaoke bar. Dennis agrees, on the condition that he gets to sing and Mac doesn’t hog the microphone the whole night. Every time, Mac doesn’t let him get a single song in, and most of the few hours is spent on Mac trying desperately to find some song he doesn’t actually know the name of. Eventually, he settles on one and sings until he’s hoarse. Dennis beams the entire time, and in those moments, he doesn’t think he’s ever been happier.

•Mac has a short attention span when it comes to most things, but he and Dennis talk for hours on end in their apartment. Some weekends they lay on the floor of the living room and just talk, about anything and everything that crosses their minds. Conversation comes so easy when they’re together, and it helps them forget their problems better than booze does. Dennis sometimes pretends him and Mac are the only two people in the world. He’d like that, he thinks more than once.

•Dennis gets cold often, and he tries to wear long sleeves and layers to stop himself from getting too uncomfortable, but he really can’t stand take the cold. If Mac ever sees him shivering in their apartment he immediately makes Dennis tea—and adds way too much sugar—and wraps him in blankets. Dennis acts annoyed and lets the tea get cold, but sometimes he plays up how chilly he is so Mac will take care of him.

•They both leave their bedroom doors cracked at night, especially if one of them has had a rough day, so they can slip into each other’s rooms easily. Mac usually climbs in bed with Dennis, but occasionally, Dennis will crawl into bed with Mac, and silently as he can, and turn to face him. Even in the middle of the night when it’s too dark to see and he knows Mac is asleep, he can’t help but feel comforted by Mac’s presence.

•They alternate who gets to decide what their monthly date nights are going to be, but they usually end up either going to the same restaurants as always or going to some bar across down where nobody knows them to get drunk. On rare occasions, Mac has an idea or a craving for some specific food or just picks a place because he knows Dennis will like it. Dennis tries to pick refines places but he usually ends up caving and picking something he knows Mac will like. They both know that they understand what the other likes, but it doesn’t make those nights any less special.

•Mac tries his best to get Dennis to open up to him emotionally, because he believes that it’s always better to talk about what’s bothering you. Dennis usually just laughs at him or rolls his eyes, but one night they’re watching a movie and suddenly Dennis grabs Mac’s hand and just starts crying and rambling to him and they talk until the movie’s over and into the night, and Dennis falls asleep on Mac’s shoulder. Mac doesn’t have the heart to wake him up and they sleep there, curled up together on a couch way too small for them.

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Kiss on a falling tear + rhodestead

Connor had felt like he had been holding things together well. It had been a few weeks since the hostage situation and he’d managed to stop himself from jumping at every loud noise. Had managed to stop himself from constantly looking over his shoulders, and had forced himself to walk through the spot on the floor where David had been, the stain on the floor only an imagined one. He’d convinced everyone, including himself, that he was fine.

And then suddenly he was in the ED. And there was the thick stench of iron in the air, so strong he could swear he could taste the tang of blood under his tongue and he wanted to gag. Looking down he saw that his arms were covered in blood, stained crimson, and it was so sticky and warm. As warm as Wills skin underneath the palms of his hands where he was desperately pressing against the wound in his gut. And he was frantically trying to think, trying to concentrate. Because Will was losing so much blood, and he was so pale that his auburn hair stood out even more than usual. But he couldn’t remember what to do. Not with the way David was shouting, standing there, over them, holding a gun. And Connor couldn’t make out a single word he was saying, all he knew it was a demand. One that obviously wasn’t being met fast enough because David cocked his gun, pointed directly at Connor, and pulled the trigger.

Keep reading

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💖💖💖 (if you're still doing the emoji thing!)

Definitely :)  💖

OK so, this one was a doozy bc as we all know, you’ve written like, a trillion amazing things, so. I did my best to not cheat and put like a million but here we are

so, ones that I remembered off the top of my head that I LOVE were Amor Verus Numquam Moritur  and (Definitely Maybe) I Will Live to Love – both short and sweet and really satisfying, and really unique!! Oh and Come as You Are, as You Were, which is one whose title even sets the exact tone of the fic and it’s just.. very contemplative and I love it

Then I read Between the Wars We Dance last night and I CANNOT BELIEVE I HADN’T READ THAT YET.. it fulfills all of my People Loving Magnus dreams. When Ragnor calls Magnus “brother” I legit shed a real tear. Masterpiece. So is When Oblivion is Calling out Your Name which you reminded me of and gosh, it’s painful but in the best way. 

I was going to sort through which of the fics I’ve read off of your blog recently but I got into your writing tag and just got lost so… @ followers just like, dive into this. it’s literally just like, thousands of words of quiet, gentle, sweet, rich, beautiful writing.

I also just finished reading (Truth is I’m Used To) Making it Up on My Own right now before posting this and oof, I’m still winded. What a lovely fic!! And Raphael within it was a happy bit of particularly great writing imo. 

Send me an emoji of your choice and I’ll rec my favourite content of yours 

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