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#i also didn't own up to the mistake i just sat there quietly
savannahsdeath · 8 months
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hii i have a little ellie request. so can we maybe have an enemies to lovers where reader and ellie “hate each other” but in reality ellie just wants to be with reader and she ends up using the strap roughly bc reader didn’t wanna confess after years? (sorry this seems long😭)
i absolutely love this idea omg??
ELLIE WILLIAMS X READER
PART1ONE
part 2two
mdni please<3
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warnings: 18+!! smut, 'enemies' to lovers, strap (r!receiving), mean!ellie kinda??, rough!ellie, reader is also mean at first !!
writers note: i love receiving requests like yall are so creative and idkk its just easier to write a req than my own idea🫣🫣 also this turned out to be longer than i expected (my longest fanfic yet!) but even the anon said it seems long so ig thats how its supposed to be🙏
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It was another PE lesson you hate so much. It wouldn't be that bad, if not the fact that you're in the same team with Ellie. Ellie fucking Williams.
She would get mad at you for every little mistake you made. You absolutely hated her.
You had to admit she was... pretty. Especially when she had the mix of mad and stern expression on her face. Sometimes you provoked her just to watch her insult every little thing about you she could but you didn't mind. You just sat there with a smirk, sometimes making a mockingly worried face to piss her off even more. Sometimes. Sometimes you weren't in mood for that and you'd actually get offended. Sometimes even hurt. But you couldn't really blame her, that's how it works.
This day, you were literally rescuing your team. Every point was because of you. Every 'that was close' situation was only 'close' because of you. But your luck, or whatever made you win, had to run out eventually. You missed one time.
"What happened? Got holes in your hands? Tired? Not so good anymore?" Ellie asked you with that mocking tone.
Everyone ignored your interaction - they knew what's starting and they didn't want to get involved in that.
"I've done pretty much everything for this team, and the only thing you do is complain, Williams." You said and you could feel your temper rising.
Ellie didn't hesitate to respond to that.
"Well at least I don't do a half-ass job like you. You're really so full of yourself, aren't you? Why not just give up and let someone actually capable take over, huh?" She barked sarcastically.
The other team members didn't even try to hide their excitement now, they just sat back and enjoyed the show, even the teacher was having a hard time holding back the grin on his face whenever Ellie came up with a new insult.
And now, there was no going back.
"Oh, I'm sorry Williams, did your precious little ego get hurt from that? Are my skills threatening your so-called pride? Well if you don't like it, suck it up." You shot back.
If this kept up, you were going to end up with another detention for sure. Everyone knew that you two were like oil and water, but nobody really expected you to get into a shouting match over PE class. Especially, not this early in the morning.
The teacher finally decided that it was enough trouble, and he stepped between the two.
"Ladies, settle down! If you can't figure out how to work well together in a simple PE session, then you'll need more than one detention to figure it out. Go sit down." He ordered, and you two sat down, next to each other.
As if following a silent order, all the other students just went about their business and pretended like nothing had happened.
"You should learn how to shut up sometimes." You said quietly, nervously playing with your fingers.
"You should stop thinking you're so damn important." She snapped back, completely ignoring your advice as she stared at you with the same icy cold look as before.
The teacher came over to the two of you and handed you a form, which you quickly read over. "Maybe it's rough but that's what you both deserve after arguing in every single class. And if that won't help... I don't know what will. Someone will check in on you from time to time, so don't even think about anything, understood?."
In short, the file was saying you'll have spent a month after school doing little school works, like cleaning the gym, with her. It was a frequent way of dealing with problematic students in your school.
You weren't even surprised - the teacher was right. Your little bickers were the main gossip topic and there was no way they'll go unnoticed.
Still, you couldn't help but frown.
"You've got to be kidding me." You muttered under your breath. Spending a month after school doing odd jobs with Ellie was literally the last thing you wanted to do. You knew there was some sort of punishment coming, but this was extreme.
Ellie overheard your muttering, and she rolled her eyes. "It's just a bunch of cleaning, what's wrong, can't handle a little hard work?" She mocked.
"And why are you so happy? Maybe you wished to spend more time with me?" You chuckled, finally looking up at her.
Ellie seemed caught off guard, but she quickly recomposed herself. "Who said I was happy? Sure, I'll love to see you grovel and scrub floors while I sit back and relax." She replied in a sarcastic tone.
You decided to press your advantage, and give Ellie a dose of her own medicine. "Aww, is someone actually admitting that they like spending time with me? I'm so honored." You said with an overdramatized fake fluster.
Ellie didn't even let you finish your sentence before she cut in with her usual sarcastic tone. "Pfff, don't get so ahead of yourself there." She chided. Even then, you could hear some slight annoyance in her voice.
Ellie may have been a jerk, but there was something about her you couldn't help but like. You couldn't explain it, but you liked this banter between the two of you.
Oh, who were you trying to lie to? You liked her. You were just good at hiding it.
You were just about to open your mouth to respond to Ellie's last snarky remark, when you were cut off again.
"Enough."
You both turned to see the teacher staring at the two of you. He sounded more annoyed than before, and you decided it was better to stop your feud before you got in any more trouble.
"You two are already going to spend a month together doing odd jobs. The last thing we need is for you to add another week to that sentence." He warned.
You wanted to say something back, but you decided to shut up before the teacher had to make it worse. You and Ellie just looked at each other for a couple of seconds, before you rolled your eyes and got up from your seat.
After a few more classes, the time of  fulfilling your penalty came. You sat down at the gym benches, waiting for Ellie. You waited, and waited, but no one came.
Ellie was faster than you with getting up. She smirked and said; "Well it's not like you actually had anything worth saying anyway, so it's easier for you." With that parting jab, she walked out of the gym.
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You expected something like that from her, so you stood up and a few minutes later you were standing in front of her room. You knocked to the door, patiently waiting for her to answer.
After a few moments, you heard footsteps, before the door finally opened. Ellie stood in front of you, her face as annoyed as ever.
"What do you want?" she grumbled, clearly not in the mood to be bothered right now.
"Uh, hello? We're supposed to be doing the clean-up, remember? You haven't forgotten, right?" You said, trying to stay as polite as you could.
She sighed and motioned for you to come in, clearly not ready to go just yet.
You slowly stepped into Ellie's room, your eyes taking in the decorations and mess. It was clear that this was Ellie's world, but you couldn't help but feel a slight curiosity towards her.
"So, why exactly weren't you at the gym?" You asked, finally breaking the tension. You didn't want her thinking you were here to start another argument.
"I had stuff to do." Was the terse response you were met with, nothing else.
"Yeah, of course." You rolled your eyes. "Your room could use some cleaning too."
Ellie smirked when your tone turned from polite to annoyed when she gave you her response, but you couldn't help but notice that she slightly recoiled when you mention how messy her room was. For someone with such a sharp tongue, she sure wasn't enjoying that same kind of treatment.
"Oh yeah? So maybe we should have you clean my room instead." She shot back.
"Actually, boarding school is still school, so that'd count too." You smirked, not so sarcastically anymore. You'd really rather stay in her room than running all over the building with a mop and dirty cloths.
Ellie raised one eyebrow at your reply, clearly not expecting you to just accept it without some kind of snarky remark or argument.
"Alright then." She replied simply, and she walked over to her bed and started to clear out the clutter. You couldn't really deny that her room was in a pretty messy state.
You explored the room, looking for something to start with.
Just then, near other scattered clothes, you saw feminine underwear. Clearly not hers.
"Um, Ellie..." You laughed. "Who's this?"
She walked up to you, not seeming surprised or embarrased at all. "I dunno. There's lots of girls visiting." She smirked.
You knew the smart thing to do would be just to drop the topic, but your curiosity got the best of you. Just who was Ellie Williams hanging out with?
"Really? And how many of them leave a pair of underwear in your room as a souvenir?" You asked, trying to keep a straight face, but you couldn't help but be amused by the situation.
Ellie just laughed, and you couldn't help but grin at her confidence in that moment.
"If you're asking if I'm dating someone," Ellie said, looking at you with an amused expression, "then no. I wouldn't call it dating."
You knew Ellie was always too stubborn and proud to just admit it normally, so you decided to push her just a little bit further.
"So it's not just a single person then? What's it? A new girl every day?" you asked with a smirk, knowing you'd hit a nerve there.
The slight flicker of annoyance on Ellie's face told you that you'd hit the mark.
"So what if it is? Are you jealous?" She teased in response, just adding fuel to the fire.
Now, she had the smirk on her face, and you just knew you'll regret what you started.
"Not really. Everyone knows you fuck every girl in the school anyways. Well, almost every." You suggestively pointed at yourself. "That's honestly sad. You should focus on one person, don't you think?"
Ellie took this as a challenge, she just couldn't resist it when you made yourself the exception.
"Oh, you think you're a special case? How cute." She snickered, and you couldn't help but feel somewhat pleased with that response after how much you two had been annoying each other for the past month.
"What do you think, should I consider dating you? It seems like you're interested, isn't that why you keep sticking around?" She asked, looking at you, knowing very well what kind of effect her words were gonna have on you.
"Me? Interested? You're the one finding excuses to talk to me every day, even if it's just another argument!" You shook your head and looked down, trying to hide that your smirk turns into a honest smile.
You felt Ellie's eyes studying your face as you tried to hide your genuine happiness, you tried to play it off, but you knew that it wasn't working in your favor. You couldn't even deny it, because it was true, you were interested in Ellie. Maybe not at first, but after spending time together, you grew to like her, her arrogance, her wit, the snarky smile on her face... and her eyes.
"Oh, so you do care!" She quickly cut in, sensing your weakness as your smile grew.
"Come on, don't tell me you've been enjoying this little game of ours, haven't you? Don't you look forward to it every day? Don't you love the adrenaline that kicks in when you're about to say something that's bound to start an argument?" She asked, taking a step closer to you and lowering her voice.
You could almost see the sparks fly as the two of you stared at each other, both feeling the tension in the air. You were almost tempted to take her up on the offer, but your pride got the best of you.
"You're just full of yourself, aren't you? Thinking everybody craves that attention." You said after taking a deep breath.
Ellie just smiled and walked straight to you, getting up close and personal.
"Well, I know you want it. So stop putting up a facade and admit it."
"I'm not like these sluts you fuck, Williams." You said, trying to keep your voice steady and calm.
Ellie just smirked in response. "You're right, you're not like them. You're better than them. And maybe you are a little special, considering how much you manage to piss me off everyday." She took a step back and looked you up and down. "I kinda like it." She said, and you couldn't help but feel your heart rate go up a little when she said that.
You just stared back at Ellie, not really sure what else to say in this situation. Both of your egos were too big to give the other one satisfaction, and neither would be making the first move.
She finally spoke up; "Your turn to be honest now. Admit you're into me."
She was awfully close to you now, daring you to say something.
"Don't push it, Ellie." You told her confidently, and even though you really wanted to say it, your pride was holding you back from admitting it.
Ellie just smirked and moved even closer to you, until her face was just an inch away from yours. "Say it." She whispered.
You felt your heart pounding faster as you just looked at her, not able to break her stare.
You shook your head. "No way."
She just chuckled at your response. "I knew you'd say that. And now, I'm gonna make you say it yourself."
Before you could even comprehend what was happening, Ellie pulled you close, just enough to make your lips meet. You just stood there, completely stunned by how bold she was, but at the same time, the feeling of her lips against yours was so new and so good as well. You hadn't felt this type of rush before, and you didn't want it to end.
You couldn't stop yourself from letting out a gasp followed by a moan into the kiss, which made her even bolder.
"I'll show you how lucky those so-called by you sluts are." She whispered after pulling away from you, but not for long.
While Ellie's mouth aggresively covered yours, you felt her slowly pushing you towards the bed.
You were barely able to think now, as your adrenaline was pumping through your whole body. Your back hit the mattress, and Ellie continued to push you down as she climbed up onto the bed on top of you.
That's when it hit you.
You realized that your little feud with Ellie wasn't going to end after all, except this time you weren't fighting her.
Instead, you were just enjoying the moment with someone you could almost call a friend.
It felt like there was nothing else in the universe, just a rush of new sensations that you didn't want to end.
Ellie was the one in control now, as you felt her body pressing up against you, her lips pressing against yours, her hands moving around your body without hesitation. You weren't even thinking straight anymore, you just let her embrace you, letting her take control entirely.
You felt her break the kiss for a moment, just to whisper something in your ear. "Say it."
You knew what she wanted you to say, but you just couldn't bring yourself to do so.
Before you could answer, you felt her slowly undressing you. Her lips were tracing paths along your throat, not letting you let out a logical word from it - only little whimpers.
You felt every curve of her body as you felt her lips against your neck, every touch sending chills down your spine.
When you felt her hands move towards your pants, you felt your body respond in the only way you could.
You couldn't think of anything else but her embrace, her warm breath against your neck, and your body slowly being freed from clothing.
Ellie knew exactly how to push your buttons.
Before you could catch your breath, you were left shaking, as her hand slipped into your underwear, which was soon on the floor too. She was teasing your clit in almost painful slow way, watching you squirm.
"Speak up, babe." She whispered mockingly.
But you couldn't. Not because you didn't want, or because your ego didn't let you - you just couldn't. You even asked yourself 'What does this girl wants from me?' as you already forgotten her previous wish. You just weren't thinking straight.
"Come on, do this for me." She kept looking at you with overdramatic concern. You saw her fastening her belt and sliding of her jeans, revealing an obviously-way-too-big strap, which purple color didn't surprise you at all as you imagined it the same way in your dreams.
When you finally came back to your senses, you constructed a whole full sentence answer. But as soon as she saw you opening your mouth to speak up, she slid a few inches of her toy into your soaking cunt. Your planned reply quickly got replaced with another gasp.
"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?" She smirked, her hips started thrusting. She had some sympathy for you, so she didn't make it too painful, but she wasn't also so merciful.
You cried out, at first clenching your thighs from surprise, but she was too strong for you to actually succeed.
You leaned your head back against the pillow, squeezing your eyes shut causing a few of your pathetic tears soak into the sheets.
She held your hips, so she won't miss your sensitive spot, but her grip was so hard you swore you can already see the bruises creating right beneath her fingers.
"Honestly, I'm really happy it ended like that. You have no idea how often I'd imagine you instead of some random girl. But it's good to have you really there." She chuckled, not slowing down but not speeding up either.
Your eyes opened wide at this confession. Before today, the nicest thing she said to you was 'what's wrong?', even though it was in an obviously mocking way. And know it turns out she liked you for a long time. Just like you liked her.
"W...Wh- What?" You managed to stutter out, leaning on your elbows to look at her before your vision turned blurry again so you fell back on the pillow.
"You didn't know?" She laughed. "I mean, you were always oblivious, so I shouldn't be shocked but... I thought it was clear." She was speaking slower than usual as every single word coming from her mouth was synced with the moves of her hips. While saying this simple thing, she pushed her strap into you at least twenty times. And she wasn't taking her time, oh, no. She was fast and rough, like you're just a sex toy without feelings. Did you mind? Hmmm...
When you started getting used to the size of her cock and your mind wasn't completely blank anymore, you remembered one important thing your PE teacher said. 'Someone will check in on you from time to time, so don't even think about anything.' None of you were either at the gym or putting up flyers around school. They're going to think you ditched it. Even though you'd rather get into more trouble than end whatever you were doing now, you felt you need to tell Ellie, just in case.
"El-s..." You moaned out and quickly realised it won't be easy.
"What is it?" She asked, seeming honestly interested in what you got to say. "Ready to admit you're absolutely obsessed with me?"
You clenched your fists, squeezing the bed sheets between your fingers.
"Th- no... We should..." You couldn't help but cry out again.
As soon as she heard the two keywords - 'we should' (and she hated when someone was telling her what to do, so that pissed her off) - she understood what you're trying to say.
"Behave? Fulfill our duties? Or...?" She chuckled.
You wanted to speak up, just to not feel so vulnerable as you really were. You only managed to mumble 'we' before one of her hands started rubbing your clit, just like at the start - painfully slow. The feeling made your thighs tense and move closer to each other, wanting to close the gap between them. But Ellie didn't let that happen as she quickly separated your legs.
Her hips also didn't stop moving, and all the sensations connected made you go silent again. Well, not silent - unable to speak. And that were two completely different things.
"I'd take that as a 'we should continue what we're doing right now'. Isn't that what you want?" Even though you're eyes were closed, you could feel her intense stare on you. Then, her mocking tone came back. "What is it with you being so quiet all of sudden? You spent a few of the past years yelling at me, and you can't even say a word now?"
"I ju-st..." You said but then she hit your g spot again, and again, and again... making you go silent.
Your stomach started feeling funny - probably because of how deep in it Ellie's strap was. At this point, you thought you can even feel it in your throat and that's what's blocking your words from coming out. But the funny feeling had a different origin - your release was getting awfully close, and it didn't go unnoticed.
"We're going to have lots of fun this month." She whispered, leaning in to stroke your cheek.
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yelenasdiary · 2 months
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Yelena taking care of her autistic gf who has gone into sensory overload because of Natasha yelling at her because she accidentally ate the last jar of peanut butter?
Tough Day
Pairing: Yelena Belova x Autistic! Reader 
Summary: Natasha takes her bad day out on you over something small, but Yelena is there to comfort and remind you things are okay.
Angst, Comfort, Fluff.
Warnings: None? If any, please let me know! | 0.8K
Translations: Detka (baby), dorogoy (sweetheart), 
AC: Please note that I am not autistic, nor do I get sensory overload. I write this based off research. If I have written anything that is wrong or offence, please let me know as I do not mean any harm. I also want to thank everybody who helped me with this! You know who you are xx
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The room was dark, curtains closed, lights off and you were sat on the floor in your most comfortable clothing trying your best to take deep breaths. You never knew Natasha would get so mad over something so small. After using the last bit of peanut butter for your sandwich, Natasha grunted and took her frustrations out on you. How were you supposed to know it was the last jar? How were you supposed to know that Natasha didn't have a backup jar? She always did.
"Seriously?! The one thing I wanted today, and you had to use the last of it?!" Her words replayed over and over in your head. The raise in her voice sent you into sensory overload, she didn't notice, she just kept dropping comments about her frustrations even stating how you rarely ever go grocery shopping and just expect everybody else to get the things you need. You apologized for your mistake and explained that you didn't realize that it was the last of the peanut butter to which she replied, "of course you didn't you just live in your own little world!" 
Yelena knocked on the bedroom room lightly, careful not to startle you. She'd been worried about you after Natasha stormed back into the gym mumbling something about peanut butter, her gut feeling told her to check on you. 
"Detka? It's me, can I come in?" she asked. You nodded; she could barely see your nod in the darkness, but it didn't take long for her to notice the state you were in. She closed the door as quietly as she could behind her and walked over to sit down beside you. She didn't touch you, she didn't speak in her normal 'inside' voice, instead she whispered. 
"Do you want some ice?" She asked in a whisper, knowing that sometimes in these moments you like to suck on some ice cubes to help remind you of the here and now. You nodded once again while continuing to keep your focus on your breathing. Yelena was gone for a few short minutes before she returned with a bottle of water and a small bowl of ice cubes. She placed them beside you and sat down on the armchair on the other side of the room and waited until you were able to talk to her.
The coldness of the ice on your tongue and the roof of your mouth helped bring some relief to the hotness you felt rushing through your body. You closed your eyes and counted to ten then back down over and over until you felt like you could get up from the floor. Yelena waited patiently, holding your favorite stuffie until she knew you would want it to cuddle with. 
"Sh-she yelled at me" you spoke ever so softly as you slowly got up from the floor and looked at your girlfriend. "Over peanut butter" you added. Yelena saw the confusing yet sadness in your eyes, you couldn't quite understand why Natasha snapped and took her bad day out on you over the empty jar. 
"I'm going to talk to her detka, she overstepped, and I won't let her do that again" Yelena replied as she stood from the armchair to hand you the stuffie. "What do you need right now? Forget about Natasha and the stupid peanut butter, I'll buy her a new jar, okay?" she added. 
"I just wanna get into bed and watch movies" you replied.
"Do you want your weight blanket?" Yelena asked, she always worried about you whenever you went into sensory overload, in fact she worried about you a lot more than she led on. Always made sure you had everything you needed before she would go off on missions, she had Kate keep an eye on you and if you needed anything Kate would be there for you. Yelena tried not to go on the super long missions, sometimes she couldn't avoid it but she always checked in with you when she could. 
"Yes please" you said as you got into the shared bed, grabbing the television remote from your bedside table. Yelena grabbed your weighted blanket from the wardrobe and placed it comfortably over you. "Thank you, Lena" you smiled softly at her, your tired eyes telling her just how exhausted you were. 
"Get some rest detka, I'll go cook your favourite for dinner and bring it up to you when it's dinner time" Yelena replied before placing a soft kiss on your forehead. "Wait" you gently grabbed her arm, "can you stay? Please" you asked, looking up at her. 
Yelena nodded, "of course dorogoy"
You snuggled up to Yelena the moment she got into bed beside you, her arm wrapped around you while you flicked through Netflix to find an easy and comforting movie to watch. Once you found one of your favorite comfort movies, you snuggled more into Yelena, whispering a soft 'thank you' for being there for you. She placed a gentle kiss on the top of your head and held you a little extra tight while you fell asleep in her arms.
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angelnthsnow · 2 months
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All Too Well
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pairing: joe burrow x fem!reader (+18)
summary: enemies since childhood, y/n and joe burrow meet again in LSU, joe to play for the university's team while studying consumer and family financial services and y/n to study mechanical engineering, while also being a cheerleader for the team. what happens when they encounter each other after a fateful night?
word count: 7.1k
warnings: cursing, implied smut, fratboy!joe, asshole!joe, reader skinpicks, angst, use of y/n, author not knowing how an american uni works.
author's note: first published fanfic! i hope you enjoy! keep in mind english isn't my first language, so i'm sorry in advance for any mistakes, also this wasn't proofread bc it's too long and i'm lazy lmaoo.
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Sat in the airport, legs over your luggage, you started to question the decision you had made a month ago. It all started in June, when an old colleague from LSU reached out to you via email with a simple, yet — to you — terrifying invitation.
Your colleagues from university were planning a Fourth Of July party in Baton Rouge, the one place in earth you swore to never step foot on again. Well, it's not like the city itself had done anything to you, more like the college life did. Your college years were a part of your life you desperately wanted to forget, partly because going to LSU meant giving up on your dream of studying abroad, and partly, well, let's just say a certain blonde with a degree on consumer and family financial services was to blame.
With an acute voice echoing through the airport gates, you sighed, getting up to get on the plane.
As the aircraft was in the air, you get your playlist blasting on the headphones and not long after that, you drift off to sleep.
You wake up when there's 20 minutes left to land on the city, and as you get your phone to send a message to your friend, Emily, the device decides to make this trip a little harder than it should have ever been. On that bright screen, on a small box with "Years ago on this week.." written over it, was the picture.
It was night when you woke up, tangled on the white strawberry sheets of your own dorm bed. Opening your eyes quietly, you saw the one man that had put you on that position earlier. Sat with his back to you, there was Joe. He had only his sweatpants on, and you could see the reddish marks, the ones caused by you, were starting to fade on his skin. His hair was messy and he breathed slowly, seeming oddly calm giving what had just happened.
Joe and you had been, well.. enemies? since you could remember. It all started in school, you had a dream of becoming a world famous dancer, a cheerleader in college, and Joe just thought it was stupid, all of it. He was quite shy, but you knew he had a dream as well. Joe wanted to be a football star, but nobody knew that. He'd just let it slide once when you two were fighting on the school's playground. When you two got to the age in which people go to university, you thought you had finally seen the last of him. How foolish, truly. After two years of studying engineering at Louisiana State University and being in the cheerleading team, there he was, ready to make your life miserable for another few years.
That was, of course, until now. You'd never imagine you see him like this; half naked, messy hair and your cat on his lap as he caressed her head, whispering in a baby voice to her as she purred softly.
You smiled, because why wouldn't you? Shifting quietly on your bed, as if he was a scaredy animal you could scare away with any abrupt movements, you get your phone, taking a picture of him. It was dark, blurred, but you didn't mind, you could tell it was Joe, his big silhouette right in the center of the photograph. In your head, you knew you wouldn't need to keep this blurry memento, you were certain the amount of opportunities to take pictures of him now were infinite, or so you thought, drifting to sleep again.
The pilot's voice pulls you out of your little daydream, announcing the plane had arrived in Louisiana.
"I shouldn't have come." You chant in your head as you exit the plane, heading over to the landing area to wait for Emily.
You and Emily had met in LSU, and became inseparable since then. She was your roommate and, despite being highly introverted, you managed to develop your longest friendship ever with her.
When Anna, the colleague that invited you to the party, emailed you, Emily was the first person to text you, begging you to come and enjoy a night with the people you hadn't seen in so long. She also missed you a lot since both of you hadn't seen each other much after college, of course, you somehow managed to see each other every year and talk almost everyday, but it wasn't as close as you wished.
Emily lived in Louisiana with her husband, Dave, who had also gone to LSU with you, and of all the times you had seen each other, she had gone to your home, so you technically kind of owed this to her.
Waving in a frantic manner, there she was. Slightly different from last time, but still your best friend. You smile, walking towards her.
"I'm so glad you're here!" she says once she gets a hold of you, hugging you as if you could run away at any moment. You kind of wished you could, but she made everything better. She had that superpower.
"I'm glad I could come, Ems. I've missed you so much." You smile, looking at her as she helps you with your heavy bags.
The two of you start walking towards the exit to her car, catching up after a long time. Emily put you to date on what every single old colleague was up to now, and you laughed at the amount of gossip she was able to retain.
"Where's Dave?" You furrow your brows, just realizing someone was missing.
Emily opens the trunk and you help her put your bags on it. Panting after carrying so much weight, she replies "Home. He was working so he couldn't come, but he's super excited to see you." as you two get into the vehicle.
And with that, the engine starts and soon you're on the highway, on the way to her house.
The week in Emily and David's house had passed very quickly, and you throughly regretted ever wishing you hadn't came. She had shown you every bit of the city, and things had changed a lot. Now, you were in their guest room, getting ready to the reason that had you coming all the way from New York to Louisiana.
It was fourth of July, and you had heard fireworks all day around the neighborhood, even stopping to watch them for a bit before going for a shower.
"They're pretty, aren't they?" Emily said through the kitchen window as she saw you looking up outside.
"Very much." You turned around, smiling at her.
"Anna told me they're having fireworks tonight, I think you'll like it."
You got a bit excited, you've always loved fireworks, they were like drawings in the biggest canvas you could ever get, the sky.
"Looking forward to it!" You said, going up the stairs to get ready.
Looking in the mirror, you sigh. You wore an USA flag bodysuit and jean shorts. This whole patriotism seemed stupid, but Emily dragged you into it, alleging you were allergic to fun. Nonetheless, you looked good.
"Y/N! Let's go, we're gonna be late!"
Breathing in deeply, you close your eyes and stare at yourself one last time. You knew Joe would probably attend the party, he loved parties, and still, you came. You couldn't give up now, you couldn't get this stupid thing get to you. He probably doesn't even remembers everything that happened that day.
You shake your head, moving those thoughts away as you go downstairs, seeing Emily and Dave ready sitting on the couch.
"You look amazing! I told you you'd rock this fit." she gets up, hugging you.
"You too, Ems." you laugh, fixing your hair after she lets you go. "Shall we?"
"After you, Miss United States!" David jokes, signaling for you to get out of the house first. You laugh, rolling your eyes.
The three of you get in the car, and the drive to the party is filled with singing and more of Emily informing you of your colleague's current lives.
When Dave finally pulls over to the party, you can already hear the loud music in the car. Looking out the window, you see the last thing you'd expect to see today: Joe's parents house.
When Robin and Jim were away, Joe would always throw parties in his house instead of in the frat house. It made sense, giving the fact his house was a bit bigger. Snapping back to reality, you froze, but still had hopes of not seeing him tonight, after all, the amount of people that would come to the party was huge.
Entering the house, you were struck by fairy lights hanging on the roof, from a wall to another, and USA flags all over the house. There was a big wood table in a corner with punch and other drinks, but other than that, the place looked pretty much the same. It was weird coming back after all these years, but it still had a familiar air to it.
After almost 50 minutes, Emily was already drunk and fooling around somewhere with her fiancé. You were finally alone, and by now you had roamed the entire house, gladly not meeting Joe not even once. You thought about leaving, but not before going to your favorite spot in the house, the only one you hadn't explored today yet.
Joe's house had a small attic, which you adored. When he threw parties in high school and you couldn't get away from your friend's pleas to come, this was the place you found yourself in. So, after 6 years, there were you again. On that narrow wooden space that had a somewhat medium window with a view to the back of the house, where the party was most wild. You were surprised to see they hadn't moved a thing, it felt like you had time-traveled to your school years.
In front of the window, there was an old blue armchair, the one you would sometimes sleep on waiting for Emily and the others to want to go home. The rest of the attic was filled with boxes, some with trophies and pictures of Joe, with his family, his team, and his coach.
You sat on the armchair, arms hugging your knees as you looked at the window, the music that once made your head hurt because of the volume was long gone, sounding now like white noise.
Entering the football team frat house, you could see neon lights and hear music blasting through the speakers. Soon enough, all the other cheerleaders and Emily were dancing and having fun, after all the team had won the game, there was no reason not to celebrate. Except for you, because a win for LSU immediately meant running into Joe Burrow, or seeing his face all over the university for a week or so.
Sitting on a couch in the living room, you had a privileged view to the enormous door that swung open, revealing a sweaty but smiley Joe. He walks in as he normally does, exhaling an air of cockiness around him. He has a bottle of beer in hand, and already looks drunk as he laughs to his teammates. After being showered in praises and congratulations, he's free to walk a bit further, which is when he sees you. His eyes immediately glance at your jersey, and you immediately regret having done what you did.
Earlier that day, before you left for the party, it started to snow, and you realized you hadn't brought a single coat to the game. The girls were about to leave and they didn't want any delays, so you looked around for anything that could cover your body and protect you from freezing.
The only thing you could find was an old LSU football team jersey with the name "BURROW" stitched on the back. You sighed, but tried to confort yourself by thinking nobody would see it, after all, the lights at the party were pretty low.
All of it cumulated to this moment. This disgusting look he gives you as he looks down, glaring at his jersey. "What the hell are you wearing?”
Of course he would recognize it, it was his, after all. You cursed yourself mentally in all the languages you know, and prayed that Emily would come to you out of the blue to take you home. She didn't.
"Please, don't start, Joseph." You say, trying to ignore him. "I was cold and this was the only thing I could find."
“Yeah, right. Just say you were trying to piss me off, like always.” he scowls.
"Not everything is about you, QB." You get up, furrowing your brows at the audacity, annoyance dripping in your voice.
“Everything is most definitely not about you either, cheerleader.” he scoffs, and his teammates laugh. “You're still not even good at that.”
"And you're still not even good at your little games, idiot." I scoff. "Let me remind you, I'm the one going to the national competition while you're still playing football in college."
This time, his friends mutter a low "oooh".
He's stunned for a moment, then he scowls and gets closer to your face. “Watch your mouth. This is my last season here anyway, then i’m going straight to the NFL and everyone's gonna know my name, who knows what you’ll be doing.”
You just still didn't know he actually meant it.
"The NFL?" You laugh, hands on your chest. "You know, Joey.." You say, calling him by the nickname his friends had given him, in an attempt to piss him off. "To be on the NFL, you gotta be one of the greats." You stare at him, getting closer. "Something you.. are not."
He scowls, and his friends are surprised, the nickname really got to him. Before you can get another word in, he grabs you and pulls you close, his voice is low and cold. “Who the fuck are you calling Joey? You don’t get on the nickname level with me, Y/N."
Your squirm under his touch, trying to get off of him. A bit of fear seems to be creeping up in your eyes, and you try your best to not let it show.
"Don't fucking touch me!" You slap him, getting some inches away and staring at him in awe.
He recoils a bit, then glares. His lips are trembling, and you’ve never seen him angry like this, even his breath is shaky. He doesn't look like the Joe you once fed turtles in kindergarten with. He clenches his fist and looks around, he’s got the attention of everyone at the party “Are you seriously gonna slap the quarterback?”
"Fuck you! You're a horrible person that thinks that because you're a star you can do whatever the fuck you want, well, breaking news, YOU CAN'T." You scoff, angrier than ever, while removing the jersey off of you, throwing it at him, eyes swelling with tears.
"You're a fucking parasite, a manwhore who thinks everything's about you. I hope you never get to the NFL." This time it comes out lower, like a personal threat. You desperately crave to hurt him in a way he won't be able to laugh at or make jokes. Turning around, you walk out of the house, everything seemed to suffocate you.
He's stunned, no ones ever talked to him like that, specially you, the one person he was so used to getting shit from. He just stares at your back, the BURROW that was once hidden by your messy hair now gone, in his shaky hands. A range of emotions go through him. He's mad, but then there’s a sadness, he feels unwanted, as if the only reason people talk to him is because he is the quarterback. He doesn’t want you to leave like this, but he doesn’t know what to say, so he just yells “Where are you even gonna go?!”
"Somewhere you're not!" You scream, not even bothering to turn around to face it, crossing the door and walking through the garden in front of the house.
At this point, the party had gone back to what it once was, a loud, fun mess.
He sighs, then chases after you. When he catches up, he grabs your arm and forces you to turn around to face him. “Where the hell do you think you're going? You're not safe, there's a bunch of drunkards out there today."
"Like you give a fuck." You shrug, shaking your arm to get away from his grip. You turn around and start walking, the cold getting to you again. The snow fell mercilessly and all you had was the thin sweater that covered your cheerleading clothes.
He sighs, then realizes you’ll freeze outside. He puts his arm around you and pulls you in. You're so incredibly small compared to him you can feel his heart beating fast and his muscles tense from anger. “I do care. Just… come back inside, you're gonna freeze out here."
"Leave me alone! I fucking hate you!" The tears start falling as you punch his chest in a frantic way. It didn't hurt him, of course, but you didn't know that.
He scowls when you do so, gritting his teeth, then just watches you cry. He sighs and pulls you in tight, his body heats yours up. He rocks you like a baby, and whispers “Let me explain. I didn't meant for things to be like this.”
"Like what? Like living hell?" You away from his embrace, but part of you wishes you hadn't. Joe was so big and warm you didn't even needed a coat. "You hate me. Why are you even doing this?" you yell, the loud blasting music from the party muffling your screams. "Go back to your stupid party with your friends and your girls. I'm going home."
He grabs your arms and makes you turn to him. “I don’t.. hate you. I just get mad and take it out on you. I know that’s not right, i’m trying to fix it. Let me take you home.”
"Oh please." You scoff, tears still falling. "No need. I'll walk." You say, shivering due to the cold.
He sighs again. “You're not going home alone, it's not safe. I don’t care if you hate my guts, i’m not letting you walk alone.”
Joe's words and actions pierce you like a bullet. Never, in a million years, you had imagined you'd hear him talk to you like this. Of course, it was still rude, but there was a sweetness to it. You say nothing, as you couldn't bring yourself to. As he puts the jersey you once threw in his face back on your shoulders, the shivering reduces a bit, and your lips stop trembling, their reddish color that was once white from the cold, reappearing. His big hands stroking your back felt so gentle, and helped you get rid of the cold as he gently and quietly led you to his car. He opens the door to the passenger seat and waits for you to get in. You do so, surprisingly, and he closes it, turning around to get into the driver's seat.
He climbs in the drivers seat and starts the engine. The warm air that comes out of the vents warming you up as he looks over at you. You watch him drive, he seems so focused, and when he speaks, it’s in a quiet voice “I'll walk you to your door, then you should probably take a hot shower to warm up, your gonna get sick like this.”
"There's no need. I'll survive." you say, pulling the jersey closer and breathing in the warmth.
“I'm not gonna risk you getting sick just because you decided to be stubborn now.” You can’t help but notice how gentle his voice is, a nice contrast to how cold he seemed towards you at the party.
"Fine." You whisper, and after a few moments in silence, he finally pulls up to the dorms. You open the door of the car and get out, the cold getting to you again. You sigh.
Joe does the same and the two of you walk in silence towards the entrance of the building. Once you reach the door, you turn around, "You've done enough, Burrow. I mean it. Go back to your party, you have a win to celebrate." You say, grabbing your keys and unlocking the door.
“I wanna see you safe in your house before i go, I feel responsible for you getting cold out here.” he doesn’t want you to think he doesn’t care about you, when it’s clear from the way he’s acting he only thinks of you and your safety right now.
You nod, his gentle words feeling like daggers in your heart, making you almost regret the way went a few rounds with him earlier.
Getting into your aparment, you take off your shoes, holding the door for him to do the same, and when he does, you lock it again, before making your way to the small kitchen.
"Can I get you anything? Water, tea..?" You ask, trying to be a good host. You and Emily never expected no one to come to the apartment, so there was never many food or drink options.
He follows you to the kitchen, shrugs and looks around. The apartment is not very big, but it’s homely. From the kitchen, you can see the entire living room, including the door, and then there's a small hallway that leads to the rooms and bathroom.
He looks at you when you offer him something and smiles, it breaks his scowl, it looks good on him. He looks at you for a moment, then says “Can i get a glass of water?”
You nod and get on your tip toes to open the cabinet, getting a glass and then filling it with water, handing it to Joe as you take a seat on one of the stools in front of the kitchen's island.
He takes the glass and drinks from it, still holding on to his scowl, but it slowly drops off as he begins to relax. He sits down beside you, close enough that his knees are touching yours “Your apartment is so different from mine.”
You sigh, making small talk with him was the last thing on your list for today, but still, you gave it a shot.
"How so..?" You say, not even bothering to look at him. Instead, the cup of water you had poured to yourself in front of you was the one getting all of the attention. The fact that the only person in the entire campus that hated you was the one to bring you home was already embarrassing enough, so you were still to wrap your mind around the fact he was still here.
He watches you and looks around the kitchen, not sure how to explain it to you. For a few moments he just looks at you, trying to gather his thoughts. “I don’t know how to explain it, it’s just different from anything i’m used to.”
"Calling me poor now, are we, Burrow?" You shrug, letting a small laugh fall from your lips.
He glares, then realizes you were joking and laughs a little bit. You can notice he still smiles when he looks at you, which is surprising considering how he always scowled at you. “I'd never call you poor, especially not after seeing your outfit tonight.” he looks you up and down.
"Mr. Joseph Burrow's a fashionista?" You chuckle, this wasn't something you'd ever expect from him. There wasn't any monograms or brand names on the sweater you wore, but if you were a someone into good clothing, you'd recognize it.
He laughs and shakes his head, he can’t help but notice your curves and he looks down, trying not to stare. “I wouldn’t consider myself a fashion guy, i just know something looks nice when i see it.. and your outfit looks very nice on you."
"Yeah, sure.." You nod, standing up and grabbing both of the glasses. You take them to the sink, putting your hair up in a bun and washing them. "I'm okay now, Burrow, really. I don't know why you did what you did tonight, but thank you." The thank you comes out like a whisper, but you pray he does notice. "Come back to your party, enjoy your teammates and your girls. There's still time."
He shifts in his seat and watches you as you wash the glass, his mind is conflicted. Part of him wants to follow his teammates back to the party, the other part wants to stay with you, see how long the small talk can go before it turns into a fight again. His eyes watch you as his breathing starts to pick up a bit. When you thank him, he realizes you don’t want to talk about the fight or why he did what he did at all.
He shakes his head and stands up. “I guess I better get going then."
"Yeah.. of course." You flash him a shy smile, and the awkward silence sets in again.
He notices your smile and smiles back, not knowing how to express himself right now, although he doesn’t know how to leave either. He just awkwardly stands there, staring at you, his eyes are locked on yours, he can’t help but notice how beautiful they are. The two of you lost in your own thoughts, the silence filled with tension. Then he speaks “Can i ask something before I go?”
"Yes."
“Why'd you wear that jersey? You knew it would piss me off, so why’d you wear it?”
You sigh, you had already explained that, but Joe seemed so drunk you thought maybe he had forgotten. "I told you, I was cold and I had forgotten my hoodie." you point to the couch, where the green hoodie rested on. "I knew it would piss you off, and trust me when I say I wasn't going for that today, but it happened. I'm sorry for it, you can have it back now." You say, taking the jersey off for the second time that night, except this time you don't throw it on his face. Instead, you just gently hand it to him, like a peace offering.
He takes it, looking down at it in his hands, then he looks back up at you. He sighs and is suddenly filled with mixed feelings, anger, sadness, his emotions feel overwhelming. He doesn’t want to yell and argue with you again, but he also doesn’t want to leave. He can’t stop looking at you and your eyes, he can’t help but love how pretty they are. "Can I please keep this? Please..?" he whispers.
"Why are you asking me that? It's yours, it has your name on it." You say matter-of-factly, fidgeting with your hands, something you do when you're nervous.
You can tell he’s trying really hard not to smile at you, his voice is soft when he says “Yeah… but it’s got your sweat on it… your smell… I want something to remind me of you… even though, you know… we always seem to get each other mad.”
You don't understand, after all, you see each other every single day. The best "something to remind me of you" he could ever ask for was standing right in front of him everyday.
You furrow your eyebrows. Years of fighting, screaming and pissing each other off leading to this moment was something you couldn't wrap your mind around. "Do I need to remind you we hate each other? Until this morning, you'd get me suspended from LSU if you could."
He laughs, and you’ve never seen him in such a vulnerable and soft state. "We both know I don’t wanna get you suspended from LSU, I mean, come on.. just look at you.” he stares at you, you see his eyes roaming your body like he always does, but there’s a different look about them. "You deserve this scholarship more than I do, you've always have."
"Yeah.." You scoff, not believing a word, looking at the jersey on his hands and then at his eyes. His big, blue eyes that you got lost in countless times before.
He smiles at you, realizing the snarkiness he just heard. He doesn’t mind the teasing, in fact, he kinda likes it. He stares at you for a minute, then he looks back down at the jersey “I like how it fits tight on you.” he says without realizing it.
"Tight? You're big as hell, it looks huge on me." You laugh, remembering how the jersey looked on you when you put it on earlier today.
He laughs silently to himself, a big smirk appears on his face. He looks at your body, then smiles. “You're just too small, but I do like how it fits on you."
You feel goosebumps throughout your entire body and your cheeks heat up. You curse yourself mentally for letting it all show so easily.
He's still staring at you, but doesn’t realize just how much he’s making you blush. He continues to speak in a low voice "I can see your belly button when you dance for us on the field.." He pauses, but decides to go on, and it's like you can hear the engines turning in his head. "I can see your bra strap when you go so high in the sky I feel my hands covered in cold sweat in fear that you'll fall and I won't be there to catch you. I can see your collarbones when you get so close to me when we're fighting that I wish I would just lean in and shut you the fuck up. I can see how you blush when I sweep you off your feet and leave you speechless, like i'm doing now." He steps closer. "I can see all of you. Matter of fact, Y/N, I think you're all I have ever wanted to see." He states, like it's a fact, like he has always known that. You feel your eyes starting to water and you feel stupid. "Every inch of you looks amazing in that jersey, it fits you like nothing else i’ve ever seen."
You sigh, it's almost like you can feel your skin being touched by him just by the way he’s looking at you. You feel like a forest fire, and his voice tone doesn't help. "Stop.."
His voice is so low when he talks, you want him to keep speaking. You want to hear his voice go on and on, to get you worked up, but also to lull you into the most peaceful sleep you've had in years. He keeps staring at you as he speaks “Just look at your shoulders, the fabric wraps all around them so perfectly, they’re such beautiful curves, just like the rest of you. Just look at you.. Jesus." He sighs.
You squirm under his gaze, but in a split second you're reminded of everything that happened before this moment. Before being here, in your small dorm, talking to the man you earlier thought to be the meanest person you knew. "I won't fall for it. I'm not the girls you get after winning games."
He chuckles and looks away, clearing this throat before going on "Those girls are just something to make me feel good, they don’t even mean anything to me. But you.. even when you make me angry, I want nothing but to feel you in my arms. You make me feel so good, even when you piss me off.”
"You don't mean that." You mutter, trying to stay calm. You pick the skin on your arms while staring at him.
His eyes shift back to yours when you speak, he sighs and you can tell for a minute he’s conflicted on what to say. "I know you don’t believe I mean all those words, but honestly, I mean every word. You are the only girl who's ever made me feel something, even if we’re arguing, that means we at least have some emotion we want to put towards each other. I'd rather have you making me mad than have someone making me feel nothing at all."
A single tear slides down your cheek. "You're drunk, that's what it is. You're drunk and this.." You point to yourself, and then to him, "..must be a prank."
“I know that’s all we’ve known for years, but maybe the reason you make me so mad is because I have feelings for you. You are the only girl I have ever wanted to talk to like this. You're the only girl that makes me feel this way. I never want to stop talking to you, I just want to tell you how beautiful you are, even when you make me mad, or when you push me so far it makes me want to push you towards the wall and kiss you."
You stare at him like everything you've ever known has finally made sense. A few more tears drip from your eyes and you sigh. "You promise?" it comes out in a whisper.
He smiles and you can tell it's not a fake drunk smile. This is the smile he flashes at someone when he's letting down his guard and being completely honest and vulnerable. "I promise. I don't want anyone else, I want you. I wanna be the guy who makes you happy like no one else could. I want you to be there when I get into the NFL and I want to be able to look for you on every game, waving at you when I see you're wearing my jersey because you finally want to, because it means something."
You look up, melting over his voice, your eyes meeting his like never before. His eye color seemed different now, a more vivid blue. His eyes seemed more relaxed, a nice contrast to the ones full of rage that always came with a furrowed brow. "I want you, too." You whisper.
He smiles, a real and sweet smile. This time when his eyes roam your body, you feel like he isn't looking at you in a nasty way like always, he's just looking at you because he thinks he's the luckiest boy in the world.
You smile, "Do I need to call you some names to have you kissing me now?" It makes him laugh, and your eyes lock on his. There isn't any words, just feelings, and you can see it in him when the realization sets in that you want him too.
You get on your tip toes as Joe pulls you towards him, your lips finally touching each other. Your belly feels as if you just rode a rollercoaster, as if the LSU football team had won, as if there was fireworks inside of you like there's in the sky on the fourth of July. But instead it was all him, the same boy that you once hated so much, doing all of this to you without even trying.
Immersed in your thoughts, you didn't notice when someone opened the door and came in, what gave it away was the smell, and you wondered if it would ever change.
"Joseph..?" you froze, again, but still managed to turn around on the armchair, feet now touching the ground.
His eyes meet yours for the first time in.. well, years, since that fateful night. He looked.. the same. Although his hair was shorter now and he looked bigger than ever, his face was the same. The same mesmerizing ocean blue eyes, pointy nose, and rosy cheeks, which you always found funny, because it looked like he had blush on. He wore a threadbare white shirt, shorts, and a tennis shoe, but they weren't the same as years ago, and you thought to yourself how an outfit of his now would cost probably more than your monthly earnings. He also wore a USA flag headband, which you had seen earlier laying on the wood table for everyone to get one. You thought it looked.. funny.
"Y/N." He nods. It felt like forever since your name had left his lips for the last time.
"Sorry, I-" You start, getting up from the chair as you wrote a full apology in your head for being in a private part of his home. "I thought nobody would need the room, I'll leave now."
"Nobody does." He takes a sip of his drink, his hands looking huge as he holds the red cup. "Dave told me you came with him and Emily, had to see it for myself."
He says, getting closer and finally leaning onto the window, arms resting just above it. Another sip, and you find yourself sitting again.
"How'd you know I was here?" You furrow your eyebrows, not understanding a thing. His eyes don't wander from the view. You're stiff, and you think you've probably never felt so nervous.
"You always are."
If you thought your eyebrows couldn't furrow any more, you were wrong. As soon as the words fell from his lips, you were in complete shock. Does that mean he knew that, all this time, you spent the parties in his attic, alone, dying to go home? That he knew you slept here, not once, not twice, but several times before?
"What?" Is all you manage to say, embarrassment taking over you.
"I mean, when I threw parties in high school you were always here. I know you don't like parties but you would always come because of Emily, and somehow your nights always ended here."
Your eyes widened, and you swore that if your mom could see you now, she would say something along the lines of You look like you've seen a ghost.
You kind of felt like you had.
"I'm surprised you like the place, it's kinda small." He finally shifts, taking his arms off the window and setting his now empty cup on the small wood piece that rested under the window. You blush, after all this time.
When you woke up in the morning, Joe was no longer there. You didn't panic, just thought of it as typical him. Getting up from the bed, you saw Emily on her chair, watching something on her computer.
"Morning, sleeping beauty." she says as she hears you yawn.
"Morning, Ems." You smile, sitting up straight. "D'you have a good night?"
"Obviously, duh. Dave's a gentleman." she states, bragging, and you laugh. "He also told me you and Joe left together last night.. what was that about?"
You sigh, flashes from the night before coming back to haunt you. "We.. uh.." you start, but words can't really explain what went down in this apartment yesterday. "We kissed, and had sex.. and, uh.. he might've said he likes me.." you whisper, like it was a crime.
"WHAT?!" Emily jumps from the chair, startled. "Y/N.. Oh my God.." she gets closer to you, getting on her knees in front of you. "How was that? And, most importantly, how's that gonna work now?" she states, as if something had changed overnight.
"What do you mean?" you furrow your eyebrows, confused.
"Well, you know he's been drafted to the NFL, don't you?" she says as if it was something everyone knew, incluiding you.
You felt your heart sink.
So it was a prank, after all. The worst one he could ever pull on you.
He left, and he wasn't coming back.
You knew he meant every word he had said last night, but he also had really left. Joe had confessed his love to you the night before just to leave in the morning, leaving you mercilessly stranded.
You don't say anything, because how could you find the words to? Emily immediately understands and hugs you, but the only embrace you could possibly want at the time was miles away now.
You were surprised at his ability to pretend like nothing had happened, like the last few years hadn't been torture to you, wondering where did it go wrong. Years of blaming yourself, of recalling the night over and over and-
"No need to be ashamed, Y/N." he chuckles, the sound of it filling the quiet room.
"I'm not ashamed." you lie. Letting him see through you was the last thing you needed today. "Just thought nobody knew."
"Well, if it helps, I'm the only one who does." he finally sits on the ground, back glued to the wall where the window was. A beat, and then he was back with the personal questionnaire. "How are you?"
"I should be the one asking that question. Huge team, getting all the girls, abnormal paycheck.. Superbowl." your words dripping with disgust as you stare out the window, hoping for something, anything, anyone, a divine intervention to get you out of there.
"I don't really get that many girls," he says as he stares at you. One of the things about him that bothered you so much was his courage. You could never, ever, not a million years, bring yourself to stare at him the way he'd do to you. It was intimidating, raw, and worst of all, familiar. He'd always do this when the two of you fought in high school, that's how he'd always win the arguments, not by words, by having the courage to look you in the face and leaving you feeling vulnerable and naked under his gaze. That's also the same way he stared at you that night, after saying all those nice words that made you melt under his touch.
"Mhm.." You nod, not knowing what to say.
"Aren't you going to answer me?" he questions, again.
"I'm fine, finishing my doctorate now."
You don't know why you told him that, but it felt right.
He lets out a breath, "Fuck, Y/N.. That's huge." he congratulates you, and although he couldn't see it due to the poor lighting, it makes you blush. You had never seen it as that big of a deal, it was just the thirst for knowledge you always had, but it was nice knowing someone Joe thought about it as something nice.
"Thank you"
"Thank you coming today," he finally says, awkwardly, as he gets up, grabbing his cup as he does so. "tell your folks I said hi."
"Will do."
He opens the door and gets lost in the crowd, leaving quietly and sneakily like he did that night, and you let out a breath you didn't even realize you were holding.
321 notes · View notes
maneaterss · 1 year
Note
Can you do a Neymar fic where he calls her clingy behind her back and she overhears and changes
i'm done doing the "pairing, summary, cw" thing cause it's kinda obvious by the req! also i changed this into more of an argument LOL.
angst!! insecurity. mentions of past relationships were reader was cheated on.
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you and neymar had always been open about what you want out of your relationship, how you feel about certain things- etcetera.
you gave him your all- always making sure his jerseys were ready for whatever game he had next, making sure he had food to eat after practice, and letting your hearts beat together at night- him holding you close.
during practice season him, messi, and kylian would all carpool and switch off, this time in particular messi and kylian decided it best that they would come over after practice and play some fifa on the couch.
when neymar came in- you welcomed his friends and pressed a kiss to his cheek.
you were working on something on your laptop so you went straight back to the room and continued working on it.
after about half an hour you needed to use the bathroom which was directly across the hall from the living room, you sat your laptop on the bed and quietly made your way to the bathroom so as to not disrupt the guys.
once you'd done your business, you washed your hands and dried them.
"antonella wasn't able to be home last night so i woke up so late." you heard lionel's voice echo through the living room.
"i couldn't imagine having to go home to someone every single night and not be able to drop onto the bed and just fall asleep- i feel bad for you guys."
at this. neymar laughed loudly, "honestly, it becomes a lot- having to talk to them 24-7- especially y/n she's a little-"
"clingy?" lionel questioned. curious to where this was going.
you could've sworn your heart dropped- time seemed to slow down as you waited for his answer.
"extremely. she's just-" he also laughed and sighed at the same time. "not simple."
your heart dropped even further, your eyes brimming with tears. were you honestly that clingy? were you mistaking being caring with being a burden? were you really that bad? so bad that he had to talk about you like this while you were still in the house.
your ears were ringing, how many times had he spoken down on you like this without you knowing? so many questions and regrets.
your hand was still on the doorknob, if you left now he would know that you'd overheard and it would result in an awkward and insincere apology from him. but you couldn't just hideout in the bathroom.
you'd decided to leave the bathroom, trying to slip by as you did before- it went unnoticed by everyone in the room that you rushed past with your head down.
neymar was laughing for practically the rest of his friends visit before they'd decided to call it a night and head home.
you on the other hand were sat on the bed- laptop closed. your thoughts focused on only one thing.
the pressure in your throat builds as tears still stung at your eyes. every single betrayal came back crawling onto your shaken skin- every disloyal relationship, every time you'd been cheated on, thought of as lesser than, everytime you wanted to crawl out of your own skin, the skin that neymar had worshipped.
"she's just not simple."
you squeezed your eyes shut, you'd gotten too comfortable. you were torn back to those times where you were struck with someone elses dishonesty- poisoned by their greed. where those that you loved were too blind to see that your kindness was their stability. undermined, unworthy, and manipulated.
maybe you'd blown it out of proportion, he laughed when he said it- he must've not meant it. wether he was saying it to make his friends laugh or not- it had no other outcome than tears running down your cheeks, desperately trying to pull yourself together.
you looked at yourself in the mirror- you felt so stupid, so small, so insignificant like the life had been torn from you. didn't this go to show that you'd been to clingy? that you cared too much?
you heard his friends leave. you really had to get your shit together now.
you wiped your tears and walked to your armoire, folding the stray t-shirts that were spread over the inside.
in walked a straight faced neymar, who came up behind you to press a kiss to your cheek.
he grabbed a few of the shirts in the folding pile, trying to lessen the task for you- but in all honesty, what does he care? "i've got it, " you spoke without looking up at him.
he persisted, continuing to fold the shirts.
you hastily grabbed the shirts from his grasp, "i said i've got it."
he was caught off guard with the sudden attitude, he genuinely couldn't think of what he'd done to make you unhappy. "what's wrong meu amor?"
"nothing, just let me fold the clothes." you looked him in his eyes for the first time tonight and wondered how someone who looked at you so softly, like you were delicate pieces of china- could say belittling things about you knowing what you had gone through.
you wanted to blame him, you wanted to not internalize it and say it's his fault and not yours for the way that you let his words change your outlook on things, to change you.
"no tell me what's wrong." he began walking towards you, "i know somethings wrong."
you became angry, angry because you so badly wanted to breakdown into tears- curl into a ball and disappear, but his stupid, selfish, greedy words made you decide against it. "god neymar, drop it."
you prayed he would let you go to bed angry, and you'd wake up and act like nothing happened, but he couldn't think like that. "no." he furrowed his eyebrows, "what's gotten into you? is it because i didn't spend enough time with you? if it is then i'm s-"
you audibly laughed in his face, it was ironic. "no it's the opposite neymar, maybe i spend too much time with you."
he remained confused for a mere few seconds, before his mouth shut, he didn't know what to say. "y/n."
"i mean i guess i already got a head start to the clingy thing, i didn't make you dinner tonight was that better for you? did that make things easier?" you mockingly spoke. sure it was evil to shove this in his face but you were tired of being calm about this when you were so far from it.
"that's not what i meant. i didn't mean it like that." he stood on the other side of the bed from you, tears brimmed his eyes now. how could he have the capacity within himself to hurt the person who has saved him from darkness? why did he say things like that so spitefully when you were someone who had filled his lungs with air and left the kiss of the sun on his skin.
but you'd wonder what life would be like if you were an easy girl. if all those people from the past wouldn't have done those things to you, if neymar wouldn't feel sideways about you. this was rubbing away at a part of you, the giving part of you- you were running out of these kind gestures bit by bit, but what did it matter? he didnt care for them anyways right?
you didnt even realize you were crying nor did you realize he'd came up behind you and wiped your tears.
"no i'm sorry baby." he buried his head into your neck. "i'm so sorry."
your tears fell regardless. your heart rate still at an all time low. you didn't believe that he was truly sorry, he gave unsolicited backlash to your raw wounds and spoke so openly about it.
you freed yourself from his grasp, and began to pace around the room, "no." you wiped the tears with your hand that ran down your face. he refused to let you make these decisions blind with anger. he corned you, begging you to say something, to yell at him, to tell him that he's stupid. god anything. "i can't believe you embarrassed me like that."
"i know y/n. i know, i know, im sorry." he ran a hand through his hair.
"i have given you every part of me since i have loved you and for you to-" you spoke through sobs- sobs that tore the air from you, "god what were you thinking."
his heart broke with that last line, he knew what it meant. it meant something had changed for you, that something would never be the same and the scariest part was that he didn't know what it was.
"i wasnt thinking i don't know what i was saying, please forgive me baby please." he was breaking down now too.
"who's simple?" you asked, expressionless besides the tears that stained your cheeks.
"what?"
"was bruna simple?"
three words and his expression fell. now equally as hurt as you that you had to bring that up, you were both hurting so it resulted in hurting each other. his hand that was once reaching for your cheek now fell this his side as he ran a hand over his mouth. he was more speechless now than before.
you took heavy note of him taking more offense to the mention of his ex than his comments towards you. you knew you were in the wrong to bring it up, but didn't he deserve it?
"im going to stay with my sister tonight." you grabbed your car keys and left- nevermjnd the fact that you didn't have a spare change of clothes.
he stood, watching you leave- not preferring it but not objecting, just letting it happen.
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cloudynoiire · 3 months
Text
Abstinence
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Forbidden love with a happy ending. This has not been proof read in its entirety!
rating: nsfw ending / word count: 11k / fem reader
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     "No!" Hosea scolded for the last time that afternoon, putting an end to your quarrel. A quarrel that had taken place time and time again, on the subject of you and Arthur.
You'd fallen hard for the outlaw, for his rugged charm and quick wit. But also for the simpler things, like the way his golden hair fell in his face while he scribbled in his journal, or the little scar on his chin you'd always wondered but never pried about how he'd obtained. He'd fallen for you too, albeit very slowly, but surely.
He loved the calm you brought upon him whenever he was in your company, and the little butterflies he felt when you shared a glance from across camp; something he was almost sure he would never have the privilege of feeling again.
Something he'd told himself he'd never allow himself to feel again.
He'd found over the years of living together that you completed him, as much as it scared him to admit. At first he believed it to be simply a wonderful friendship with the way you clicked so well, the way you'd wait up for him into the late hours of the night, refusing to sleep until he returned safe from his travels, and the conversations you'd have into the early hours of the morning as a result. But it didn't take long for him to realize that you did that out of love; a love above one shared between close friends. And it didn't take him too long after that to understand that, despite the idea making his stomach twist, deep down he wanted to be more to you too. It just took him a long time to admit it to himself.
You complemented eachother perfectly. Where Arthur lacked in confidence you were there to pick him and his spirits right back up, and where you lacked in experience he was there to show you the right way. It was a match made in heaven, as the saying goes, but for your father Hosea, it was the last thing he ever wanted to be informed of. That his daughter was sweet on an outlaw. He wanted better for you than a life of crime, for he'd raised you better, or at least he'd sure tried to after Bessie's passing.
He wanted you to eventually leave the gang and make a life for yourself, where you wouldn't have to live in constant fear of having possibly everything you knew and loved taken away from you in an instant because of your ties.
But here you were, despite his warnings, still swooning over the very outlaw he'd tried to forbid you months ago from being anything other than friends with. The very outlaw who would hold you back and keep you in this dangerous way of life. Who would sully your name were you to be exposed with him to the outside world. The very outlaw who could cost you your future, or even your life.
"I can't let you just throw your life away!" Hosea turned his back to you and the table that separated you in the dusty Shady Belle room, his fingers squeezing the bridge of his nose. "And by being with Arthur, you're doing just that."
You turned your nose up at his comment while his back was turned. He'd had the first talk with you about Arthur around three months ago, and for three months you'd continued to pursue the outlaw despite Hosea's disapproval, continued to learn about him, and you only loved him more for doing so.
"It's our own fault that we're here. We know that." He turned back to you with a sigh. "Yes you were born to outlaws, and yes, this way of life is the only one you've ever known," he paused, "but that doesn't mean that you have to follow in our footsteps and make the same stupid mistakes that we did to get ourselves here." He huffed, his blood starting to heat ever so slightly. "Is this the life you want? Constantly looking over your shoulder? Constantly in fear of the ones you love being captured or hurt? Because you're headed straight down that path."
You pulled out the chair opposite him and sat down quietly, studying his face for a few seconds before you spoke up.
"That's precisely it, Pa. This is all I've known for all my years, so why would I want to leave behind the only routine, and the only people that I know?" Your voice grew quieter as the emotions started to rise. "I know you think that sending me away is what's best, but doing so nowadays is as good as throwing me in jail yourself. We may think that the law doesn't know my name, that they don't know my face or the people I'm tied to," you leaned backwards against the chair, a sigh escaping you. "But we've been wrong before, Pa. Oh, so wrong. We're too large a gang nowadays, and too conspicuous. They have an eye a lot closer on us than we think."
Hosea sighed back, knowing the point you made was uncomfortably true.
"This is where I belong, with or without Arthur." You tried a smile. "If you want me safe, keep me here, under the protection of those who care." Hosea pulled out a chair himself and sat, propping his elbows on the table, head in his hands now. "I just don't want you to spend the rest of your life like this, (y/n), because we're not living. We're surviving, and I want more for you than just surviving."
You dropped your eyes to the floor. You didn't truly understand the privilege that you had, the privilege of living over surviving. Your entire life you'd been tucked away safe and sheltered from the outside world, so that if the day came where you did want to leave, you'd have a better chance at going unrecognized.
But your father's comment had you perplexed. The only thoughts that most of your family had were about food, or ammo and protection, and those thoughts were so far from your own. Your mind was consumed with all things positive; joy, love, support, the list could go on. To you, you were living. Having such a beautiful relationship with Arthur made you feel that the life you lead was so much more than just the dangers and the worries the gang were faced with.
But of course, you weren't the one hunting. You weren't the one searching for leads and coming home with either a big bag of cash or on a mediocre day a few bullet wounds. You dreaded to imagine a bad day. You'd had everything that you needed delivered to camp and around the clock protection. You just didn't understand the privilege.
But your life was exciting with Arthur and you didn't want to change that for the dangers of being alone in the outside world. You had no idea what it was like to be part of society, part of those who actually followed the rules. Just like you had no idea whether the Pinkertons were watching and would take the first opportunity they had to grab you and take you in for questioning. That was, if they didn't just hang you that same day in an attempt to intimidate the gang into turning themselves in.
You'd much rather face the dangers as part of the gang, and you'd much rather face them with Arthur at your side. You just didn't see things the way your father did. And sadly, he didn't see them your way either.
"I'll just never forgive myself if you end up like us," Hosea spoke softly now, leaning back with a shake of his head, almost as though he was in denial about the fact that you already had. "Arthur will never change. He'll never get out. And seeing him is a sure fire way of ending up stuck like us. Like us, or worse," he rubbed a hand over his face in despair.
"You could end up six feet under."
"I could end up suspended six feet off the ground if you send me out there, too. And if I'm to die, I'd much rather do it here." You were well aware of the risks that came with being with Arthur, but they were no scarier than those presented by society. You never asked to go out on jobs, you never put yourself in the line of fire. If you did you'd understand and maybe appreciate your father's lectures more, but the risks truly felt as though they'd never happen to you, and if they did, at least you'd go happy.
"Listen, your mother," Hosea paused again, longer this time. "Bringing her into my world was the biggest mistake of my life, and I'd give anything to go back, to stay away from all of this for good."
You didn't really remember Bessie. She'd passed when you were young; wrong place at the wrong time. A bullet not meant for her, but for Hosea who afterwards was drunk for a year, or so you'd been told a few times. Your memories were truly hazy, but maybe that was due to the fact that Ms Grimshaw had stepped up and raised you for that year Hosea was unable to. She'd been the mother figure you were robbed of and protected you from the outside world. Or maybe your mind had just erased those memories, to keep you safe from the trauma.
Hosea reached for your hand, which you gently placed in his with a feeble, empathetic smile. "Arthur knew Bessie," he looked at your hand in his, before returning to your glistening eyes. "I'd like to think that he understands the risk of loving someone when in his line of work. To think he'd be responsible enough to put some distance between the two of you, before something inevitably happens to one of you."
Hosea released your hand after a moment's silence and stood, asking you with a flick of his head to follow. He guided you towards the front door of the manor; you both needed some air now, as heavy and humid as it was in Lemoyne. "I buried Bessie," he spoke, with a tinge of emotion in his voice he tried his best to keep at bay. "I'll be damned if I'm to bury my own daughter too."
You sniffled, the thought of your father going through so much pain, pained you.
"Let's hope it doesn't come to that," you took a deep breath of air as you stood on the front steps of the manor. "But if it does, at least you'll have some closure when burying Arthur, too."
Hosea chuckled slightly, but his stern look swiftly returned. "There is no 'let's hope', my dear." He sighed. "I can't have you seeing Arthur and that's just that. After all this, after your mother, I was hoping you'd see that clearly."
Your stomach flipped, you thought you'd somehow managed to evade the subject or even change his mind. Alas, Hosea's only goal was to persuade you to part ways with Arthur, and he'd just circled back to it. "I've nothing against Arthur." Hosea looked at you with compassion. "I've known him just as long as I've known you, and he's about as good as it gets, I'll admit." He took a step down, giving you some space. "But he's just not worth the risk of you losing your life, or me losing the best part of mine."
You were lost for any civil words. Those that sprung to mind were far too angry. Of all the talks you'd had, you felt as thought this one might've been the one to sway Hosea.
But of course not.
You felt betrayed, but you weren't about to make a scene for everyone at camp. You didn't reply, and Hosea knew of everything that you were hiding behind your silence. "For your mother's sake," he tried a final time to get his point across, though only adding extra salt to the wound, "make the right choice."
He stepped away and headed for Dutch's tent, probably to relay to him that you believed you were all being closely watched by the law. No doubt Dutch would have some sort of feeling about that, and would surely make life a little difficult for you one way or another for having so little faith in him. Probably what you deserved anyway in the eyes of your father, for making such a wrong call and continuing to see Arthur. And if you were occupied with jobs all day, you'd be too tired to wait up into the night for him. He probably hoped that if he broke your routine, eventually you'd grow apart.
But despite your anger, your heart broke a little at the thought of him not knowing that you'd already chosen to betray his wishes, and you always would. He only had your best interests at heart.
You'd been raised to be trustworthy, and in a gang that was built on trust, you did your best to respect it. So, maybe ending your relationship with Arthur was on the cards after all.
With a deep, anxious sigh, you stepped down into the courtyard and headed over to the gazebo where you'd left a book earlier that day. You rubbed your face as you sat down and kept your hands there momentarily, so many thoughts and feelings rushing through your mind. You looked over the swamps at the alligators that just breached the water's surface. At this very moment in time, you almost wished to fling yourself in.
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It was late evening by the time Arthur returned, tired from his travels but never too tired to find you.
You'd moved from the cold concrete of the gazebo to the warmth of the main campfire. John was there to keep you company, whittling what you weren't quite sure. The thin wood shavings floated down into the fire, some barely even touching it before they caught alight and flickered back up into the night sky. Javier was there too, strumming quietly on his guitar, but no singing tonight.
"It's so late," you remarked as Arthur came to sit beside you, "I was starting to worry."
"You needn't worry about me darlin," he smiled softly, placing a gentle hand on your knee under which your muscle tensed and you all but pulled away.
His eyes were nothing short of confused, concerned even, and yours told him that maybe he in turn did have something to worry about. "I'd like to talk to you," you hummed, trying not to make it sounds like it was one of those talks in front of the other boys. "I spoke with my father again today but, we'll do this later, with a little more privacy."
Arthur only nodded, lost for words for what you'd sprung upon him. It certainly wasn't what he wanted to hear after a long day away from you.
"Now, you must be starving," you jumped to your feet with the aim to change the mood. "Let me get you some food, then you can tell us all about what kept you away from us for so long." He nodded again, only this time he managed an "of course."
After a good bowl of stew and stories of his travels between the sweet melodies of Javier's guitar, you wished both him and John goodnight before you stepped away with Arthur. You led him back to the gazebo, where you sat him down on the now rather cold cut out bench with you and took in the song of the bayou by night, before breaking the news.
Of course, Arthur was no stranger to these talks your father had been having with you. They'd happened at least once a month since you'd announced your relationship a few months ago. He was no stranger to the feeling of inferiority in the eyes of his in-laws. But to feel it coming from Hosea? He'd be lying if that didn't hurt him a little more than it had with others before him.
"So," he started, hesitation in his voice. "What is it this time?"
You shrugged and turned to him, a hand on his forearm now. "The same as it's always been, Arthur," you sighed. "He just doesn't agree with us being an item. He thinks you're putting my life in danger. Or, more so than it already is."
Arthur respected Hosea, respected his decisions and choices, always had. He understood the reasons for Hosea's disapproval. And despite always having been loyal to Hosea, parting ways with you was one request that Arthur just wouldn't fulfill. He hadn't felt love both from him and for him in what felt like an eternity, and he'd be an absolute fool to let that go.
"So what are we to do?" He paused, studying your face for any sort of answer. There was a moment of silence, though not uncomfortable. It was more a moment to think over your next words.
"I've been going over this for a while," you started, "ever since our first talks really, both with my father and you. At first I thought, maybe he was right. Maybe we should end it before it went too far, before we got too involved and one of us got hurt."
You let out a somber sigh, squeezing his forearm as he came to rest his hand on yours. "But I've grown far too close to you to ruin what could one day be something truly beautiful. A little house with some livestock. A family of our own, with none of the fears we live with now. That's something I want with you, Arthur. I picture it so vividly."
Arthur smiled shyly at your comment. The feeling was mutual, of course, but he knew that the gang would never truly stop running in a world that was hunting down their kind. He knew that if he one day had the opportunity to whisk you away and try for a fresh start in a new place, you'd still be hunted.
In the changing world, outlaw dreams like these were only ever to be just that; dreams.
"Well," he spoke quietly, moving his hand to cup your cheek. "You do paint quite the picture, and I sure ain't gonna just let the chance of having that slip away." His thumb caressed your skin, a flicker of sadness in his heart both at your naïveté and that he'd gone along with your fantasy. He just didn't have the heart to ruin it.
"Unless o' course, for Hosea's sake you want me to." He moved back to his original spot. "You and your feelings mean more to me than any other 'round here."
You tutted, your brow slightly furrowed at him. "No, Arthur. Listen." You took a quick look over to Dutch's tent where Hosea sat, chatting away. A quiet sigh escaped you.
"I hate to go behind my father's back, Arthur, I really do. And this sounds like something out of one of those silly romance novels I have but.. that's because it is. It's my last resort."
You expected Arthur to laugh, but he didn't.
"In the one I'm reading, I can't help but see.. us." You met his gaze before dropping it to your hands. "Star-crossed lovers, who meet every night beneath the tallest tree that shelters them from prying eyes. And while I don't think that we should play it out word for word, I do think that we should take a page out of their book, so to speak."
Arthur dropped his eyes to your hand, small and delicate against his forearm. "Keep us a secret?" He all but whispered.
You nodded, bringing his eyes back to yours. Arthur knew that you hated going against the rules, and even more so lying and manipulating an unfortunate soul to get your way. But this act only showed that you were in it for the long run, and after past relationships he'd had, a little reassurance about that went a long way.
"We go about our days as usual, only we limit our interactions, act a little sad, or avoidant, even. By night we'll meet up somewhere. Spend our evenings as we usually do, just, after everyone has turned in. Or at the very least my father, and Dutch." You smiled softly. "We both know that the others don't have a problem, nor will they care to relay what we're doing."
Arthur hummed in agreement, a slight chuckle escaping him. "Most probably won't even notice a change. They all have their own problems to worry about."
You smiled in return, he was right.
"So, how will I know where to find you?" He almost tilted his head. You chuckled, now it really did sound like those forbidden love novels you read.
"We haven't been forbidden to be in eachother's company." You took his hand in yours, your thumb tracing gently over a small new wound he'd acquired from his last outing. "The way I see it, we can still be around eachother, and we can still talk. But we have to seem distant from eachother. At least for a few days. And I'll be distant from my father, too. Hopefully sooner than later he'll come around. I hate that I'll be hurting him, but, I know that he won't be able to live with his daughter giving him the cold shoulder. It's the only way."
Arthur sighed, wishing that you didn't have to do such a thing. Hosea knew that he was good, that he'd let no harm come to you. He could let you both at least try before outright forbidding it. It all felt so strange, like Hosea was trying to reduce the two of you to mere children, incapable of looking after yourselves. It didn't help that you were going to be sneaking around like teenagers now, either.
"Alright," he mumbled, rubbing the stubble on his chin.
"I know it's not ideal," you smiled understandingly. "Frankly it makes me feel a little silly too. But I'd rather do this for a few days and have my father come around to the idea of us, instead of him continuing to disapprove and us being in this uncomfortable situation for the foreseeable."
Arthur only hummed, but it was all you needed.
"Now we should turn in, you must be exhausted." He nodded, a yawn creeping up on him at the mention of sleep. "I am."
You both rose to your feet, your fingers now intertwined for what felt like would be the last time in a long while, before making your way down the gazebo steps under the cover of darkness.
You said your goodnights and shared a tender kiss, before heading to your respective rooms as you always did. You'd never shared a room with Arthur, nor a tent. Not even a bed in the time you'd been together. You felt bad enough for just being with him against your father's wishes, but to be intimate with him on top of everything? Now that felt like a step too far.
Of course, you wanted to be. You both did. But Arthur understood, you didn't want to go that far until you got your father's blessing. And if he was honest with himself, he wasn't quite sure he wanted to be physical until getting a blessing either. He respected Hosea just too much to do such a thing.
And besides, when that day came it would only make it all the more special.
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You rose early the next morning. You wanted to get out and away from everyone, to give an air of sorrow.
Arthur was already gone, his horse the only one missing from camp at such an hour. Oh how you wished he'd calm down, settle a bit. He'd sure earned a break for all the years of work he'd done. Hell, there were so many other men in camp who could give him a day's rest, but you knew he wasn't able to without receiving an earful from Dutch.
You sighed as you made your way to the little cabin a short walk from the manor. You didn't want to go further than screaming distance for the many gators that called the swamps home, but it was far enough to hear no noise from camp.
You'd brought that one book with you, one of your favorite things to do was read the hours away, and what better way to fill the necessary lack of socialization for effect and lack of attention from Arthur than by picking up where you'd left off on the star-crossed lovers. You sat on the river side of the cabin with your back up against the wall, hidden from the first morning rays. The air was already humid enough to keep you at a nice temperature.
With the warmth awoke the smaller creatures like the frogs and toads. You heard them jumping into the murky water here and there, escaping the hungry eyes of the early rising birds.
With a deep intake of the heavy air, you opened your book to the chapter you'd left on, but kept a wary eye on the riverbank, just in case a gator had you on its breakfast menu.
Before you knew it an hour had passed, maybe even two, and you were brought back to reality when you turned your gaze to see none other than Hosea, making his way over to you. "I thought that I'd find you here," he greeted gently, not too sure how you'd ended things with Arthur, if you had at all, and therefore how to approach the situation.
"Good morning," you turned your attention back to your book and your finger on the line you'd last read.
"I brought you coffee," Hosea cooed, extending his arm down to you. "Oh," you tried a smile, "thank you."
Hosea wasn't quite sure what he was expecting, but you being so quiet and distant from him wasn't it. He hated your silence more than anything. To him, having you kicking and screaming would be preferable. At least then he'd be able to just hold you for consolation. But this was something he wasn't sure how to tackle.
He'd never wanted to hurt you or break the bond you shared, but he was starting to feel like maybe he'd done just that, only by trying to keep you safe.
"I came to talk," he started, standing a little way off from where you sat. "I know that it isn't what you wanted," he paused with a sigh, "and truthfully it's not what I wanted, either. What I want is for my family to be happy. Safe, and happy. But I just don't see any way for you to be both if you're romantically involved with Arthur."
Silence fell upon you, your unwillingness to respond and the lack of knowing what to say on Hosea's part made it rather awkward.
"But I can tell that my peace offering wasn't as effective as I was hoping," he shrugged, "so I won't bother you any further." His voice was quiet, upset. "Just, please don't hold it against me for wanting you safe above all else. It's a father's duty, and I owe it to your mother."
The last part struck a nerve, and your eyes teared up in pure guilt as he walked away. You weren't sure if you were going to be able to go through with this, outright lying to your father and giving him the silent treatment. You shook the thought off and returned to your book, listening to Hosea's steps as they trailed further and further away with the urge to call out to him and tell the truth.
You spent another hour reading and taking sips of your coffee, trying your best to keep your mind away from the wrong you were doing, but you could only read so much and needed a change of scenery. You headed back towards camp without the usual spring in your step, and made your way to the other girls who'd only just risen.
"Morning," you smiled feebly, walking straight past them and grabbing a few clothes that needed repairs.
"What's got you so glum?" Karen questioned through a yawn as she tried to resist having just five more minutes of shut-eye. "Oh, nothing," you shrugged, sitting beside them on their wooden pallet to get started on patching. "I just didn't sleep too well, too much on my mind." The girls shared your feelings, they'd all been struggling to sleep since the move to Shady Belle, but you could tell they weren't quite buying that a lack of sleep was the only reason for your melancholy.
You tutted at them, they'd grown too good at reading you.
"It's just the same old story, I won't bore you with it again." You tried a chuckle.
The girls had heard this all before, and each time it'd ended up the same; you stayed together and defied your father, so they were sure this wouldn't be any different.
Karen chuckled and went to stand up. "If you ask me, you're old enough now to make your own decisions. None of us had our parents around to tell us right from wrong but we all turned out great."
You sighed through a smile as you moved to the next tear that needed patching.
"I know," you spoke quietly, taking a break from your sewing, your hand falling to your lap. "I'm not a child anymore, and my father knows that. I think it's something he just doesn't want to come to terms with."
The girls just listened, wondering whether what you were going to say next was what they were hoping for. "So he's getting the silent treatment until he comes around. Until he realizes that it's better for him to have me with Arthur than not have me at all."
And it was.
They hated seeing you upset over this, over something that shouldn't be under anyone else's control, and they were glad that you were finally putting your foot down.
"And?" Tilly drawled, wrapping her fingers around her first cup of coffee. "And, well," you lowered your voice, "we've.. faked a split. An act, until my father comes to his senses. We're going to meet only by night, for now."
The girls all smiled, of course you would meet in secret.
"Oh," Mary-Beth sighed longingly, "secret midnight rendez-vous? You only read of those in books."
You chuckled, placing your first finished garment to the side. "Please keep your voices down, my father can't know about this. It would break his heart beyond repair."
You got a nod from all of them before they went about their mornings as usual, only to eventually join you back for a little group sewing. But you didn't have much more to do yourself, so you were quite happy just keeping them company and listening to all the new gossip.
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     The rest of your day consisted of avoiding others, more reading, cursing the bayou for it's sweltering humidity, and waiting for Arthur to return to camp and spend as much time with you under the cover of night as you felt you could.
The next few days were exactly the same; avoiding, reading, cursing, and more waiting for the cover of evening to spend some time with your beloved.
As the days passed your father tried to talk to you. He tried to repair the bond he now was sure he'd broken for good, but it seemed all in vain. You were truly too heartbroken to want to talk to him and it was all his fault, or so you made it seem to keep up your little charade.
You were sat with Arthur on yet another warm night, behind the cabin where you'd found yourself a few days ago, hidden from prying eyes.
"How long do we have to keep doing this?" Arthur drawled, cigarette between his lips. You sighed deeply, wondering whether the time had come for a change of plan.
Humming quietly, you placed a hand on his thigh. "We shouldn't keep doing this. My silence is hurting my father too much. He doesn't deserve this treatment, no matter what his views on us are." You paused for a moment, your heart heavy. "I've been eating less, my sleep is worse than usual, and it's all because of this.. game we're playing."
You folded the corner of the page you were reading and closed your book gently. "And if I may be honest, being confined to a hiding spot together for an hour or two a night isn't how I want to spend my time with you."
Arthur looked over at you with concern, not sure whether this was breakup talk or not.
"I want to be free to be with you wherever I want, and in the presence of whoever I want," you squeezed his thigh reassuringly. "So I say that tomorrow we confront my father. Tell him it's us together, or neither of us at all. I know he's having a hard time now that him and I aren't speaking, and as terrible as I feel to use that against him, I think it's better than continuing this awful lie."
Arthur took a drag, holding the smoke for only a moment before letting it escape him. "You know I ain't too good at talking to in-laws."
You chuckled quietly, moving your hand back to your own lap. "You've known Hosea for far too long to see him as a real threat, Arthur. And I think I'll have more of a chance of success if you're there with me."
Arthur didn't reply, it was as though he was lost in thoughts of his past. Just Mary and the disapproval from her father all over again.
"He isn't like that," you turned to him and settled on your knees, taking his face in your hands. "You know he isn't. You know my father won't be unkind to you. He loves you. He just disapproves of our lifestyle, and at the moment there's nothing we can do to change that. So," you rubbed a thumb tenderly over his cheek, "he either has to accept that, or accept that his only daughter and the man he's counted on for two decades won't speak to him again."
Arthur knew you were right, but he was still hesitant. He'd heard similar to this before and it hadn't gone well that time.
"Why don't you sleep on it?" You smiled softly. "Just, please let me know in the morning, before you set off."
He hummed as you planted a tender kiss on his forehead, a move you knew would sway him if your words hadn't already. "I'll see you bright and early then. Goodnight, Arthur."
You rose to your feet with a tired groan, now looking forward to sleep and the new day.
"G'night darlin," he cooed, taking another drag and a long, uneasy exhale as he released the smoke into the night. With that you returned to your room and settled down to rest, only closing your eyes and fully relaxing once you heard him walk by to his own, just a few minutes behind.
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     You scrunched your nose up at the first morning rays coming through the cracked glass of your room's windows, your skin tingling at the newly found warmth.
It'd been a while since you'd slept well, and last night was no exception. You cleared your throat and turned over, using your shoulder to block as much light as you could. It was just too early for you to feel like socializing, and either way you had to wait for Arthur. You hoped he'd show.
You turned over as you came to again, an hour or so later you assumed, not opening your eyes for the nap you'd just taken had made them more stingy and sensitive to light than they had been the first time you opened them. You lied there on your side for a while, listening to the quiet sounds of the wildlife around you and the clattering of mugs and Pearson's pots and pans as camp started to wake up, too.
Turning over again, your cot rather uncomfortable this morning, you clocked the sound of footsteps and the jingle of spurs making their way across the landing that separated the rooms. The gait was all too familiar to you, and you greeted Arthur with a sleepy smile as he quietly entered your door.
"I was hoping not to disturb you," he mumbled, closing it behind himself and standing there momentarily.
"You didn't wake me," you hummed and settled back down onto your side as you watched him sleepily with one eye, barely open. He made his way to the chair not too far from your bed, and his hat came off and rested in his lap as he sat down and gathered his thoughts.
Unbeknownst to you, his eyes slowly took in every inch of your body as the morning rays danced across your skin. It wasn't his first time seeing you in so little clothing, but to anyone who could sense his heartbeat they'd sure think it was. Though, behind the tinge of desire that was cause of his raised heart rate, he was more in awe at the woman who lay before him. He still couldn't quite believe that someone so beautiful had actually chosen him. You looked so perfect, so peaceful.
"I'll be back early afternoon," he spoke softly, shifting in his seat with the same unease as he had the night before.
"Thank you, Arthur." You smiled through a relieved sigh, sleep starting to creep up on you again now that the anxiety had shifted.
He hummed and you heard him stand and take a step towards you. His fingers carefully graced your skin, brushing the hair from your temple to make way for a tender kiss he left in its place.
"Be safe," you spoke sleepily, only just above a whisper.
"I always am," you could hear his soft smile through his tone. "You get some more rest now."
He gave one last gentle caress to your temple before he moved to pull your blanket up over your legs. It wasn't cold, it never was in the bayou. It was more to prevent others from somehow seeing you. This view, the few clothes you wore, were for his eyes only, and he'd be damned if he were to let prying eyes see more of you before he'd had the privilege of doing so himself.
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      Arthur returned in the early afternoon just as he'd promised you he would.
You'd had a knot in your stomach ever since you'd actually got up; you hadn't been able to eat any breakfast or do much patching for the shaking of your hands, and you linked it to the anxiety at the thought of him maybe deciding not to show after all.
You knew he'd never betray you in such a way, you knew he'd never lie. But seeing his horse walk back into camp immediately untied the knot and loosened any tension you'd been stuck with for the last six hours or so.
You felt a little bad for doubting him.
His first thought after turning his horse out to graze was you. You could see him from where you sat, alongside the cabin with a book as usual. You'd made your way there after you'd had to take a break from chores due to the shaking, and you'd been sat there for longer than you realized.
He eyes searched for you while he walked down the path into the courtyard, his entire body relaxing when he noticed you at your usual spot. But with a slight wave in your direction, he turned towards Dutch's tent with a sense of urgency.
You knew he'd been out looking for leads this morning, as he did pretty much every morning, but his demeanor was different than usual which only caused the knot in your stomach to return. You truly hoped that he only had good news; perhaps rich pickings to be had from a nearby O'Driscoll camp, or a legendary animal whose hide or pelt would sell for a pretty penny. You'd heard talk of an alligator at least two wagons long in length, with white scales that shone brightly in the moonlight. You were sure something like that could bring in some real cash, and probably feed camp for weeks, though, the thought of eating such a creature made you feel a little queasy.
It probably wasn't even real anyway, but dwelling on that thought made you stand and back away from the water.
Arthur soon made his way over to you with less urgency in his step now, cigarette between his lips and a soft smile to go with it. "You're in a good mood," you chuckled as he came to a halt beside you, swiping a match across the sole of his boot and leaning his shoulder against the cabin for a first drag. "How was your ride out?"
"Not too bad," he took a drag from his newly lit cigarette, "got wind of a score."
"A score?" You almost gasped, it was certainly more than you were expecting. "What kind of score?" Arthur just shrugged nonchalantly, clearly proud of himself for finding the information but trying to play it cool. "A riverboat," he took another drag, "a poker game, on a riverboat."
Your heart sank twice as much as it'd jumped at his first announcement.
"A riverboat? Oh, Arthur," you sighed, clutching your book to your chest. "Wasn't Blackwater lesson enough?" Arthur just shrugged again and took another drag, offering the cigarette to you which you politely declined, despite the need for a pick me up after everything you'd been through today already. And you still had the talk to deal with.
"Blackwater wasn't my idea," he grumbled, "this time we'll do it right."
You shook your head at the idea of him putting himself in so much danger, again. "But it's just word o' mouth as far as I'm concerned. Dutch and I will do some more digging over the next few days." You lacked the words for a response, looking away from him and out to the bayou for a moment. "Don't you worry yourself."
"Speaking of worry," you sighed and turned back to him. "We should talk to my father soon, before he gets too wrapped up in.. heist planning." You spoke the last words quietly, the thought of Hosea endangering himself as well as Arthur was a little much for you.
His smile all but vanished, as if he'd forgotten what he'd promised you. "I don't mean to be the bearer of bad news," you smiled apologetically. Arthur only took another drag, and after a moment spoke up.
"He'll be too busy with planning already," he started, "they had their map out before I'd even left the tent."
You sighed and shifted your weight, looking away from him again. "We can't keep making excuses, Arthur. We can't keep avoiding." You couldn't see him, but you could sense him furrowing his brows at you as he let out a quiet huff. "If this is your way of getting out of talking to him with me, then frankly I'm a little offended that you went through all this, just to avoid telling me outright." You paused, keeping your eyes on the swamp. "But, I understand."
"Now it ain't nothin' like that," he dropped his cigarette to the ground and stomped it out with the heel of his boot. "I'm just sayin' that now ain't the time to go over there. Best wait until nightfall."
You turned back, your expression tired, more mentally than physically. "Whatever you say."
The both of you sat against the cabin together for a while, you felt a lot safer being so close to the water now Arthur was there with you. You even asked him about the alligator, to which he admitted he wasn't sure was entirely true either. After a while you went back to your chores, and he went back to working around camp too, even riding out but returning not too long after. The day overall was pretty average after his return, despite the anxiety that you were still battling with.
You met for dinner around the campfire that evening, and for the first time in a few days you sat next to eachother. Of course it didn't go unnoticed by Hosea who happened to be at the fire too with his own bowl of stew. You tried your best to avoid his quizzical gaze; the complete opposite of Arthur, who seemed none the wiser to his looks.
Ignorance is bliss, you thought.
So with one final mouthful and a raise of your eyebrows in disbelief at your father's scorn, almost a week on now, you stood and left without a word. You felt so foolish for having had any empathy, throwing your bowl and spoon into the wash basin without a care about what would get splashed. Had Hosea made peace with the silence you were giving him? Had he made peace with the fact that his relationship with his own daughter was well and truly broken? It sure seemed like it, or felt like it. He was just too stubborn to accept any other outcome than the one he wanted.
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     While others shared food around the campfire and sang a few songs to lift their spirits, you sat alone by the cabin, once again. There was a new feeling brewing inside you. It wasn't quite anger, and it wasn't quite sadness. In fact, you weren't quite sure what it was at all. But whatever it was, it made you feel so small, so insignificant to the rest of the world now.
Arthur joined you after a while as he always did, but no words were shared.
You assumed he felt a little bad about how the day had gone, and about the fact you hadn't been able to have your talk or sort things out the way you'd wanted to.
As he lit a cigarette, you turned to look at camp, only to find that Hosea was slowly making his way over, too. You mumbled under your breath, barely loud enough for Arthur to hear before you turned away and hoped that he hadn't seen you looking.
"What was that?" Arthur spoke quietly after exhaling into the night. It took you a while to respond, a lump forming in your throat. "I think I'm about to get the final lecture."
"Cat's outta the bag," you jested, too tired of the whole situation now. "Come to shun me for lying on top of everything?" Hosea just stopped a few feet away with a slight chuckle. You felt a little uncomfortable. For the first time, he seemed to accept that the two of you were alone, together. Or at least, he hadn't immediately commented on it.
"I'm not here on account of my disapproval, my dear child." He started. "So wipe that look off your face." Again, you were startled by his tone. Was he playing you? Surely. After the looks from across the campfire, there was no way this could be anything but that. "I'm here to talk about something," he paused. "A job," he paused again, "and how I won't have the peace of mind to be able to plan this correctly if I don't make peace with you, first. I can't risk endangering everyone's lives, including yours, for some silly story that's been clouding my mind."
Maybe this heist was a blessing in disguise after all.
"Silly story?" You huffed. "And how do you intend on doing that, Pa? Because unless you've decided that I'm grown enough to make the right choice in who I love, our relationship as we knew it will just remain a thing of the past."
Hosea only sighed at your harsh words, moving closer to lean up against an old barrel.
"You know your silence hurts me more than any words possibly could," he looked down at you, "and your silence, my dear, has been louder than ever."
You rolled your eyes and gazed out at the murky waters of the swamp, only for him to continue since you'd denied him of a response. "So," he shook his head at you before looking out over the bayou himself. "After a long pondering, I feel that at the very least, I owe you an apology."
You shrugged. Of course you appreciated it, but at the same time you hated what you were hearing. He didn't need to apologize, not really. His priority was to keep you safe, and to him, in order to keep you safe, he had to keep you away from Arthur. He was just doing his job as a father.
"I let my own insecurities, my own fears get the better of me." He cleared his throat. "But my fears, the past that I'll be forever tormented by, shouldn't be reason to deny you of the future that you desire."
You let him talk, it seemed as though he had quite a bit on his chest.
"I've been a fool," he shook his head, "clouded by my fear of the past repeating itself, despite the situation being entirely different, despite you always staying safe inside camp and making the right choices. I risked losing the best part of me, and the only tie I have left to Bessie. I can't lose you, and I can't lose her, not again."
Your gaze dropped to your hands, watching as you twisted your ring around your finger in what you were sure was more anxiety.
"What are you trying to say, Pa?"
"What I'm trying to say, is that your happiness and well-being is worth more to me than you'll ever understand," he smiled softly. "I'm saying that you keeping yourself safe and out of the way doesn't make my fear any less valid," he paused, "but that I've come to understand that it's unfair of me to let it rule your life. Your life is yours to live the way that you want. I can only serve as a guide."
You looked over at Arthur, who seemed just as stunned as you at your father's words. "So," you paused for a second, not sure whether to ask, or whether to even look at him. "Is this, you giving us, your.. blessing?"
Hosea was quiet for a second, almost as though the realization that he was had taken him by surprise too.
"Well I- yes, I suppose I am."
You let out a sharp breath in disbelief, turning to Arthur and placing a hand on his thigh which you gave a light squeeze. "I knew you'd come to your senses one day," you smiled and looked up at him.
Hosea returned the warm smile, a hand on your shoulder with the same reassuring squeeze you'd just given Arthur. "Don't make me regret this," he spoke softly, and turned to head back to camp.
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     With nightfall came an urge, unlike any urge you'd felt before.
Usually they only happened in your cot, when your mind wandered and created scenarios in the dead of night. But you were getting an urge now, sat around the campfire with a few other gang members. Arthur was opposite you, and with your head slightly tilted towards the ground you looked at him through the flames, unbeknownst to him. His chiseled jaw, his battle scars, his stubble; every feature your eyes skimmed over made your core wind tighter.
There was no noise except for the fire crackling, you feared others would soon hear your heartbeat if you didn't think of something else- anything else to keep the hunger you had for this man at bay.
With a slight shake of your head you brought yourself to sit upright, catching Arthur's eye as you did, and one corner of his mouth turned up into a smirk. You weren't sure whether it was because he knew what he'd caught you in, or whether it was just him acknowledging he'd seen you eyeing him, but it sent a small shiver down your spine nonetheless.
You were surprised to even be feeling these things at all around others, averting your gaze from his. But you knew that the blessing was what had triggered it; the go ahead that you were yearning for to have the softer parts of Arthur's skin right at the end of your fingertips.
"I should get to bed," you faked a stretch before standing up, "it's been a long day for me. Goodnight everyone."
The gang hummed you a goodnight as you turned on your heels, letting your eyes linger on a certain outlaw only a second longer than usual to give him an idea of what was going on in your mind.
Your cot was cold, it always was. But tonight it felt colder as you sat down and ran a hand along it. You wondered if Arthur had got the hint or if you'd be spending yet another night alone. Hell, you weren't sure this was something he even wanted himself. Sure, he showed his love for you in his own ways, but he wasn't the openly over-affectionate type. You often had a hard time reading him, and it was no easier task when it came to this subject.
After a short wait you settled down under your blanket, hearing others were heading to bed too and assuming Arthur keeping you warm wasn't for tonight. Within only a few minutes you fell asleep.
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     You stirred and groaned as you were pulled from your slumber, though not by noise, but a presence.
Arthur, slinking into your cot and gluing himself to your back as though you'd been made to fit there all along.
His hand snaked over your hip as it came to rest on your lower belly, holding you close as though he expected you to move away. Of course, you didn't. In turn you sank into him with a contented sigh, turning your head slightly to see him out of your peripheral were you to even bother opening your eyes. "You're so warm," you smiled, "just what I needed."
His hand moved up your side to cup your chin, kissing your jawline once tenderly and leaving another on your lips before he let you sink back down.
You were happy with this. It was a big step up from what your relationship had been for the last few months, and just being in his company while he was as relaxed and vulnerable as he could be made you feel so happy deep inside. You spent a good moment like that, enjoying eachother's warmth and the comfort it brought you both to be so at peace together.
But your breathing quickened only slightly as Arthur's hand began to move. It moved back up to your hip, and instead of leaving your body as you expected, he slowly moved it down towards your thigh.
With the stroke back towards you, he collected the material of your night gown against his fingers, bringing it back up to expose to his rougher hands the softness of your outer thigh. His lips graced your neck as he did, ever so softly.
"Arthur," you stuttered through a breath, instantly aroused by these new feelings, to which he only hummed into the next kiss. His hand moved higher but hesitated at the top of your thigh before he revealed anything more intimate, even if he couldn't see it with the blanket still over you both.
"Yes," you sighed, your hand moving to his to guide him higher, "please."
Arthuragain only hummed into you, all the confirmation he needed. His hand rubbed down your thigh again, and as you expected him to return back to your hip, he didn't. He instead moved across your thigh towards your core, grabbing the inside of your thigh and gently asking you to pry your legs apart.
You only obliged, slowly bringing one knee up towards the ceiling and resting your outer thigh against him, still in jeans and a loose shirt.
Your breathing shuddered as his fingers came so close to where you wanted them, caressing up your inner thigh and then up to your hip bone and back. He traced your thigh one last time, savoring the softness at his fingertips, before moving up to your lower abdomen and bringing his caressing to a halt.
"Hush," he spoke merely above a whisper as he watched your eyebrows scrunch in protest. His hand shifted, and fingers first he slid it down your stomach, over the neat patch of hair and slowly down your folds. "Let me savor you."
Your breathing hitched at the feeling, one you'd enjoyed by yourself, increased tenfold under Arthur's touch. He rubbed back up, hovering over the nerves that begged to be stimulated, before brushing back down again. You could feel your heartbeat down there, so strong you were starting to wonder if Arthur could too.
His fingers dipped into you ever so slightly, gathering the slick you'd made for him and coating your folds up to your clit.
And he rubbed.
He rubbed the most delicious circles, coaxing the most gentle moans from you as you breathed. "Arthur" you sighed again through a smile, threading your arm under his to hold his forearm that worked on you.
He gathered more slick and continued his movements, watching the pleasure wash over your face with every new circle, and just as he was about to bring you to the edge, he stopped and gently pressed against your leg to ask you to close them.
Your discontent must've been louder than you'd liked, for Arthur chuckled at the noise you made and turned you to be completely on your side again. His hand met your lower back oh so tenderly, pulling up your garment further to reveal your behind to his touch. His hand slinked down, over your folds and back up again, a single finger breaking the seal and lubricating itself as he went.
"Do you want to do more tonight?" He murmured, almost too muffled for you to understand. You turned to him with a look of slight concern. "Don't you?" Your voice was quiet, a wave of anxiety crashing over you as you waited for what felt like forever for an answer.
"Course I do."
With a contented hum you turned away again, feeling his hand bump against you as he unbuckled his belt. This was it. "Take it all off, Arthur, won't you?" You pleaded as his hand returned to your hip. "I'd like to feel your skin on mine, not those." You spoke of his jeans.
Of course Arthur wanted the same. He didn't want the boundary of an item of clothing between your body and his, but he wasn't quite sure why he hadn't just removed everything. Perhaps the fear of being caught, or maybe just first time nerves.
He pushed the blanket off of himself and sat up on the bed. His shirt was first to come off, before he stood and removed the rest.
What a sight.
His warm body was soon against yours again, and if you hadn't had such built up anticipation right now, you would've been happy to just enjoy the embrace for the night.
But that wasn't the case.
Arthur wrapped a hand around his cock, tracing your folds with the tip, giving you a taste of what was to come. He wasn't small by any means, and you were excited for it. You rolled your hips back into him, words unavailable. "Alright," he cooed, removing the blanket from the both of you to see himself so close to being inside you.
"You sure this is what you want, now?" You chuckled in disbelief, though you did appreciate him pressing for full consent. "Fuck me, Arthur."
Before you could roll your eyes, Arthur made you do it himself, slowly sliding his tip inside and pulling from you the quietest but most obscene noise.
His hand moved to your inner thigh to part your legs only slightly as he pulled back before going to slide in again. You grabbed his forearm as he pushed in a little deeper, your walls clenching around him almost as tight as your hand was. He was so thick, you were sure to be a little sore by morning.
With soothing words of affirmation he lifted your leg slightly for easier access, and after a few seconds of breathing and adjusting to him, you relaxed for him to move deeper.
"Oh," you sighed between slow thrusts, "this.. was worth.. the wait."
Arthur's chest rumbled against your back, and his hand moved to sit in the dip near your hipbone to pull you closer into him as though it was even possible.
After a few lazy thrusts his hand moved from your hip to snake across your belly and came to rest just below your chest, as if in hesitation. Though he heard no words, only a chuckle against his hand which was promptly moved to cup one of your breasts.
And he finally gave in.
You'd never imagined Arthur to be rough, and you were right. His thrusts that now held more intent held so much love, so much passion it made your insides burn with desire. If you ever had a doubt for his love for you, all that has been washed away with the embrace he has you in. You couldn't get close enough to him, and he couldn't get close enough to you.
He held you so close to his chest, his warm breath tickling the back and side of your neck with each gentle yet sharp exhale.
Your hand moved to the back of his neck, your fingers getting caught in his dirty blonde hair which changed his pace slightly; a little faster but no less passionate. He almost couldn't believe it as he opened his eyes momentarily, your bare skin against his, the warmth, and the glistening at the base of his cock as he pulled out only to slide right back in. Into you.
Your gasp brought him back, a gasp that only meant one thing, you were close. But Arthur didn't want you finishing where he couldn't look you in the eyes.
"Don't," his voice was deep as he pulled out and moved down the bed. Your face was expressionless, not understanding what was going on and feeling a little disappointed and robbed of what would've been your first orgasm by him.
"Don't look at me like darlin'," he cooed, opening your thighs so you'd move to be flat on your back, "I just want to see you better."
Your eyes almost rolled at the comment alone, as if him looming over your body and dragging his cock along your wet folds wasn't doing it enough for you already. His lips met your collarbones and moved up to your neck as his cock met your entrance once more, sliding in with more ease and filling you even more deliciously than it had the first time.
You instinctively placed a leg on his back, pushing down ever so gently asking for more. Arthur hummed but his lips never left your body for long enough to speak. His thrusts grew slightly harder as he moved down to your breasts, kissing and licking the skin before he took his lips to one of your nipples.
Your back arched in surprise and you let out a quiet laugh after your initial shock, making Arthur chuckle with you.
Your moans grew only slightly louder, mixed with giggles and gasps as he worked you as though he'd done it a thousand times before. You were aware that being too loud would probably be the death of you if your father found out that you'd been at it so soon; or at it at all.
"Arthur I'm so close," you panted as he raised his eyes to meet yours. Your skin glistened just as his did, you looked so beautiful under him. "Me too, darlin'."
His lips returned to your neck as he gave you a few more thrusts, lazy and clumsy as he neared his own high. Oh how you'd craved to see him come undone. His forehead came to rest on yours as he gave his final thrusts to push you over the edge. You writhed under him and your walls tightening made him pull out with an urgency you hadn't seen before.
He sat back and did his best to control where he went, decorating your lower stomach though he'd have preferred not to sully you in such a way the first time. As you caught your breath he wiped you down and came to rest beside you once again, only this time in front of you. No words were needed, the both of you truly on cloud nine.
You snuggled into his chest despite still being quite warm, you'd be damned if you were to cut this moment short, this buzzing feeling that coursed through your body. But as the minutes passed you both battled with sleep, and too relaxed to fight it, you let yourself drift off in Arthur's embrace.
For in Arthur's arms was where you were meant to be, and where you hoped to remain forevermore.
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pandorasfavorite · 8 days
Note
-sharing a hotel room and overhearing him masturbate (and moaning readers name)
-a stripper au
-dom and reader are in a feud and yk
-more needy dom bc im a slut for needy dom
1 Hour of Privacy
AN: You already know the drill... this is filthy and I didn't read over it
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...ya'll already know how bad I love the idea of him doing this...
You fell in love with him by mistake. For months you have been blessed with the company of Dominik Mysterio, and the proximity with him made it hard not to fall in love. Not that you didn't try and avoid the feeling. You were positive that you were hiding your feelings well, and that no one would be able to tell what was going through your mind every time you looked at him.
Without your knowledge, the Judgment Day knew, apart from Dominik of course. Lovers always tend to be oblivious in that way. So after a long 4-hour drive; with Dominik pressed beside you in the backseat of the van, The Judgment Day arrived at the hotel. Everyone gets their own room on travel days without any problems, but of course, there had to be a problem. There were 5 people and only 4 rooms... Rhea's face brightened in an instant.
"DIBS NOT!", she said quickly and touched the tip of her nose, Damian and Finn followed the action without even thinking about it. You looked at Dominik and the idea of sharing a bed and room with him, made your face flush a deep red. Dominik's brain has finally caught up after seeing all the eyes on him, he turns his head to look at you slowly. You felt like maybe you were imagining his lips turning up in a smile.
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You turned the handle and pushed open the door, letting out a sigh at the single bed that you already knew was there. Not that it made seeing it any easier. Sure you weren't opposed to laying beside the man you love, but trying to act normal while doing it was the real challenge. He sniffs awkwardly and motions towards the bed with one hand, "You can pick which side you want". So he also wasn't opposed to the idea. You nod shly; doing your best to avoid eye contact with him while you could still help it.
You sat on the bed and closed your eyes, willing yourself to relax and not give yourself away. Dominik on the other hand felt the opposite, he was excited to have the night with you, to talk to you, and to be in your presence. Being around you made his heart rate quicken and his throat constricts every time he wanted to talk to you. Dominik noticed how tense you were and the way you were hanging off the edge of the bed; so far away from him. "You okay?", he asks to move just an inch closer to you on the bed.
Dominik's voice relaxed you in ways that could only be explained by the notion of love. You smiled at his caring question and the way the bed dipped at the weight of him moving in closer. You nod (though he probably couldn't see it) and you quietly say, "Yeah I'm okay". You turn around after speaking to smile at him. To show him and confirm that you truly are okay, that you didn't mind getting to stay with him. Dominik didn't have to know you were worried about him discovering your feelings, only that you were happy to be there with him.
Dominik nods and looks away bashfully. After the long drive, you were starving and wanted to go down to the lobby and find a place to get food. Therefore you told Dominik what was on your mind, “I think I’m going to go find some food, I’ll be back in uhhh, an hour maybe”, you say while standing up and slipping your shoes on. Dominik eyes follow your every movement, his silence made you look up for a response. He replied at your expecting look, “Yeah- yeah okay see you in an hour”. He sounded a bit conflicted like something just randomly started to distract his mind.
From that point on you left the room to go find something to eat as planned. While you were scavenging the hotel for assistance and food Dominik was stuck up in the room.
The moment the door clicked into place behind you Dominik threw off his shirt and laid back against the headboard. He was above the covers and his hand was moving down towards the hem of his pants. He hesitated, re-considering what he was about to do, and who he was going to do it to. But then his mind flashes back to memories of you just moments ago, and you never looked better to him. "Fuck it", he says to himself and pushes his hand down his pants and he pulls out his semi-hard cock. His pants are pushed down halfway down his legs just in case he has to stop in a hurry, but part of him knows you always make him cum quick.
Dominik sinks further into the bed, relaxing his body as he strokes his cock slow and tedious. Every tug of his hand has his mind reeling back to you and how'd you react to coming in and seeing him laid out on the bed jerking off. Would you be disgusted and yell at him? His cock twitches at the thought. Or maybe you'd walk in and do the work for him. Your bright eyes and perfect face looking up at him as the tip of his cock just barely slips inside of your mouth.
Dominik groaned at the feeling the idea brought to him, the image alone was making it hard for him to stop the face pace he managed. His lips are parted and his eyes are closed as he spends his time thinking of the different ways he would fuck you, and the ways you'd take him. What Dominik fantasized the most was about you on top of him in any way. He wanted you to sit on his face until it got hard to breathe, even then he wanted to devour you and never let you up.
The more he thinks about it the faster his strokes get and the precum is leaking from his tip down, making it only feel closer to what imagined you felt like. Subconsciously your name falls from his lips in sync with the jolts of his hips....
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No places were open except for the fucking gas station, but it wasn't something you would let ruin your night. You walked inside and got a couple drinks and snacks you knew Dom would like also. You had only been gone for nearly 20 minutes, so you hoped Dominik was not looking forward to much alone time as intended. You rode the elevator up and again you felt that giddy feeling inside when Dominik was close. Each step closer to the door made your stomach flutter.
You stand in front of the door and a noise throws you off. Like you actually jolted back in shock at how it sounded. You check the door number and stare at it for a second, clearly trying to convince yourself this isn't your room. But the grunting noise happens again from behind the door and then the groan of your name. At the sound you let out a tiny gasp, setting the bags on the floor so you could properly press you ear to the door. And then you heard it again by that familiar voice you hear in your head all the time.
So Dominik was jerking off. NO BIG DEAL! 'but it was to me', you reminded yourself. Your blush and newfound wetness between your legs at the sounds were justified. Dominik liked you in that type of way at least, and you felt pulled by the magnet of his voice to push open the door. Therefore the door slings open and the bags you just picked up fall out of your hands. You knew what you were walking into, but you weren't expecting this....
Dominik's head was lolled back and his hand was vigorously pumping his cock that is steadily leaking precum. At the sound of the door and the bags falling Dominik sits up in panic and instantly starts pulling his pants up from his legs. He covers himself and can only bring himself to look at you with the widest eyes and a shameful expression. You don't say anything because you have been blown away at the sight. Dominik Mysterio (your long-term crush), had a thick cock and was moaning your name, in the bed that you both were to share. He is the first to talk, or more so stutter out an apology, "I'm sorry. I- I thought you were going to be gone longer" he rubbed the back of his neck anxiously.
Possibly it was a strike of confidence or the undeniable feeling you felt in the pit of your stomach but you started moving towards Dominik. You sit down beside his legs, your eyes moving over his bare chest and his unbuttoned pants. Dominik's chest is moving up and down quickly and he's nervous about what you planned on saying. You smile at him and you put a hand on his leg while making eye contact with him, "I heard you moaning my name". Your outright acknowledgment of what you had heard made Dominik's eyes go back to that innocent look he wore so well.
You crawled over him, forcing his body to lay back a bit more so you could be face-to-face with him while being on his lap. "Now you have me here, what are you gonna do about it?", you're so close Dominik feels like he will collapse if his lips don't touch yours instantly. So he does, he pulls himself up just enough to press his lips to yours in the way he wanted to for months. The reality felt so much better than any fantasy that lived in his mind. He was so deprived of your touch, that when you pulled back a short sound of protest fell from his lips. He realized he was utterly under your control in every context. And you knew that too.
"What were you thinking about?", you ask him in a whisper that fans across his lips, the air only bringing him into another illusion of your lips. You sit and wait for his answer that never comes. Dominik is in a trance looking at you, he already looks fucked out and nothing has happened yet. Your fingers slide through his hair and you tug on it, bringing his glazed-over eyes to fully focus on you. "What?", he asks and you feel his nervous hands slide down your hips and then right back up. You grind down on him eliciting a moan, only to whisper in his ear, "What were you jacking off to Dominik?" you said with little patience now.
You analyze his every expression and every movement his body makes. He swallows, was he nervous or preparing himself to speak? He breathes out a shaky breath and his eyes are fighting to stay looking at you, "Thinking about you- on my face, on top of me" he exhales like a weight has been taken off his shoulders. Dominik is watching you take off your clothes at his admission and he swears his head is getting foggy. Every aspect of your body was beyond beautiful and even more perfect than he dared to imagine. You had pushed Dominik down completely on his back and your bare body was close to hovering over his chest. "Do you want this?", you pant in the excitement that is captivating your body.
"Yeah, more than anything. Fuck I'll do anything to taste you", he says and he almost squeezes your waist to the point of bruising. His cock was aching in desperation for relief and only you could give him what he needed. Finally, you hover over his face, waiting for Dominik's tongue to swipe across your pussy. Dominik's tattooed hands slide down your back and push you completely on his face. Your puffy pussy slides against his tongue and the taste of you and the feeling of you on his tongue makes his cock twitch. You can hear Dominiks muffled groans and praises that you had only imagined in your head.
"So wet angel. Soaked for me", he laughs as his tongue sinks inside of you only to be pulled back when you moan loud enough to wake up the whole hotel. With every swipe and suck on your clit and pussy, you feel yourself getting pulled closer to that desired feeling that you can't run from. The feeling is so intense and the way Dominik was squeezing your ass from behind only made the situation hotter. Your hand comes down into his hair and your thighs are tightening around his head. You're worried he can't breathe but when you try to get up Dominik yanks you back down, "Don't fucking try it" he grits and the vibrations of his voice make your back arch in bliss.
Your pussy clenches around his tongue and your juices hit his tongue, Dominik's hips jolt and he is spewing out moans, cum coating his chin. His cock then spurts with cum and his tongue has slowed down significantly. After a few minutes of you combing through Dominik's hair while still sitting on his face, you make a better attempt at getting up. You grasp the headboard and you try to lift your body up from him. Dominik's hands are firm in keeping you rooted into the spot, and when you move he lets out a whine. "Please, I've been thinking of this for months. Please wait angel, let me taste you a little longer". You stopped hovering and gave him a smile, sitting back on his face so his tongue could work you out until his jaw hurt.
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anawrites3 · 7 months
Note
Jason and Tim, they're comparing their scars
"This one," Jason said in a low voice, turning a bit to show the long scar on his side better. It started at his sternum and disappeared under his armpit. "Is from Black Mask. Fucker got me when my suit ripped and tried his damnest to put me down."
"Woah." Tim breathed out before shuffling closer. He reached out to trace the mark with his fingers, slowly and carefully, and watched goosebumps rise where he touched. "It looks… well, it looks pretty bad."
Jason snorted. He didn't move away from Tim's touch, even with how cold Tim's hand had to feel on his bare skin.
"It was." He agreed easily. "Not the worst I got but still hurt like bitch. Dick got crazy while trying to get me back to the Manor."
"Yeah, I can imagine that." Tim laughed. He sat back to gesture towards his own scar, this one also on the side but more towards his hip. It wasn't as long as Jason's but more ragged and ugly. "This one from Two Face."
"Damn." Jason whistled. He leaned closer to take a better look and didn't trace it with his fingers like Tim did, just put his hand on Tim's hip. "He got you good."
Tim winced.
"It was a stupid mistake." He admitted with a huff. He rested his hands on the couch behind him and looked up at the dark ceiling, subtly pressing himself into Jason's touch. "I was still new at the whole gig, made the wrong decision and ended up hurt. Bruce wasn't very happy with me."
Jason hummed. His thumb circled the skin of Tim's hip, dipping just barely into the waist of Tim's jeans and making the boy shiver.
"Can't blame him." He shrugged. "I'd get pissed at you for being stupid on patrol too."
A sigh left Tim's lips. Jason watched the way they parted to let the breath out.
"Yeah, yeah, I know." Tim mumbled, grumpy. "Learned my lesson now."
"I'd hope so."
"Oh, stop acting as if you never got hurt from doing something stupid." Tim grumbled. "We all make mistakes. Even you. Even Dick."
"Damn, that really had to hurt your pride if you're bringing up Dick's shit." Jason teased. He crossed his arms over his chest and Tim suddenly felt even colder without his warm touch on his skin.
"Well, it's kind of hard to forget Dick letting Deathstroke actually shoot him that one time in Russia."
"Oh yeah, that one was great." Jason threw his head back with a laugh. Tim punched him on the arm - that really wasn't funny, poor Dick - but a little smile danced on his lips as well (no, it wasn't funny, but it was so freaking stupid it was hard to talk about it with a straight face). "The look on his face was fucking precious."
"Good thing Bruce wasn't there. He'd go crazy."
"Hey, at least it would be fun to watch."
"It really wouldn't be. But don't you dare change the subject!" Tim playfully wagged his finger into Jason's face. "I want to see a scar you got because of being stupid. That's what you get for making fun of me."
"I wasn't exactly making fun of you-"
"C'mon, just show me!"
For a moment Jason watched him without a word. Tim waited for him to make another joke or show him something stupid like a papercut he got a few days ago and kept complaining about, but Jason just uncrossed his arms.
And then he gestured towards his chest, where his autopsy scars were.
"Jason-" Tim started quietly because this wasn't what he meant-
"This. This is what happened because I was being stupid." Jason ignored him, continued. His voice was carefully blank. "Because I trusted someone who didn't give two shits about me and let her lead me straight to that sick fuck."
"Jason-" Tim tried again. "I didn't-"
"I know that's not what you meant." He tried to grin but Tim saw it didn't reach his eyes the way it normally did. "But that's what happened. I was stupid and I got killed."
"No. No, Jason, you weren't stupid." Tim insisted, moving so close that their breaths mixed. He cupped Jason's cheek with those awfully cold hands and stopped him from looking away from him. "You were everything but stupid. You were being strong. You were being a hero. You did everything you could to help that woman and it's not your fault that she betrayed you. Those scars aren't proof of you being stupid, they show that you survived."
Jason breathed out, wet and shaky. And then he did something even more stupid than dying, even more stupid than Dick getting shot by Slade.
He closed the last centimeters between them and kissed Tim.
I have no idea how it turned into this, they were meant to feel each other up and make out a bit lmao and now they're pining messes instead. ANYWAY hope you liked it!!
(You can take part in the game by sending me 2 characters and what they're doing!)
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countessqin · 11 months
Text
A family of three
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Character: Jing Yuan × fem!reader (romantically); Yanqing × fem!reader (platonically:  mother-son relations)
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[Author note]
Me and my thoughts about Jing Yuan and Yanqing father-son relations are living rent-free in my head as well as different ideas connected with these two, so here we are. (Again, purely my headcanons were used!)
PS. Maybe a little OOC. My apologies for any typos and mistakes! Uni takes the most of my time, so I will correct them when I will be free from my assignments and exam preparation.
Hope you enjoyed reading it and thank you for reading it!
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- You still remember that day very clearly. Being an advisor of Luofu is quite a job, and you have just returned from meeting held in another Xianzhou region, so you decided to work from home
- You have finished your papers for today, and were doing some ink painting, when you heard the main door opened
- To say you were surprised will be not the right word... when you came to greet your husband you saw not only him but him with adorable 4 year old child
- You were confused but decided not to question, who, why and how for now. Being married for God knows how long (being a native person from Xianzhou meant being blessed with long life) you knew that face of your husband, when he was tired and was concerned with some problems. And the mara-struck problem striked again with bigger waves, so you decided not to throw all your question at the General, who already have had enough problems
- When Jing Yuan wanted to introduce you and boy to each other, you were faster and leveled yourself to boy's height
"Hi! I'm Lady Y/n, what is your name?", - you said with warm smile. The boy quietly and shyly said "Yanqing", "Oh what a pretty name! Are you hungry? I baked some mooncakes, and made some spring rolls, wanna try?" The boy beamed with happiness and agreed.
- After eating, you showed boy around. When you entered your study room, Yanqing saw the ink art on your table and asked if he can try to draw too. Of course, you agreed, firstly being kind-soul you are and secondly, how to say no to such adorable child.
- After some tries you proposed your help and boy agreed. Within 30 minutes a masterpiece was finished. You saw that the boy was yawning, so you took him to your bedroom which was closer to you.
"Here, you can sleep here. If you will need something, I will be in the study, the next door, 'mkay?", "Yes, thank you miss N/n!*", "Good, sleep well Yanqing, have sweet dreams~"
- When you and Jing Yuan finished all work-related issues, you sat on sofa reading your favorite book, while massaging Jing Yuan's head which was lying on your lap.
- He said that mara-struck problem was getting more and more serious. And that Yanqing was a son of one of his most trusted soldiers, about whom you have heard, but unfortunately the soldier died because of mara. His wife came to Jing Yuan, and told that she may been striked by mara too, she felt some symptoms of it, and she wanted to ask general to help find new family for Yanqing, so he would life a happy long life.
- Of course, you knew the horrors of person being mara-struck. They became monster, who didn't recognize anyone. Although you are not strategist on the battlefield nor general as an advisor you also dealt with consequences of such curse-illnesses.
- Jing Yuan said that tomorrow he will find a good family, for Yanqing while you proposed to raise Yanqing together. You have had more that enough resourses to ensure that boy will grow up in good conditions. You and Jing Yuan have lived for so long but were too engaged in work that you did not have children of your own.
- Of course the General have had such idea, but he wasn't quite sure, whether you would agree or not. Raising your own child is hard, what to say about not your one? He knew that you are kind and loved children but still it such a big step, what if you felt that you are not ready?
- So after you proposed to raise Yanqing together both of you agreed. Then you held a small discussion, what to renovate in household and what you need to buy for Yanqing. And that how a family of three emerged.
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[Small note]
* N/n stands for nickname, I thought that if your name is quite complicated for child to pronounce, he will use name similar for it, for example - Cecilia = Lilia and so on. But even if it's easy one, children still tend to give some nicknames.
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deathbxnny · 11 months
Text
☆《True Power. (Yanqing x HoT!Reader)》☆
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A/N: This is another request from the dear Yanqing Anon again! I thank them very much for this brilliant idea and hope, that this is good enough!<33
Summary: You are the Herrscher of thunder, that somehow found herself in the hsr world. You were taken in by Jing Yuan and eventually got together with Yanqing during it. You never had any reason to show off the extent of your powers... until you did.
Content: some angst, established relationship, Herrscher reader and her pet dragon, fluff, mentions of violence/fighting, sfw
Reader is afab and uses she/her pronouns!
((Not fully proofread, sorry for any mistakes!))
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The day started out like all days did.
You woke up, got dressed and met your master and boyfriend in the dining room for some breakfast, before everyone had to leave for another long work day. You peacefully ate your bread, listening into the conversation the two men were having. Yanqing sat next to you, his hand holding onto your thigh absently, as he excitedly talked to Jing Yuan about his most recent sword addition in his collection.
You smiled, happy to see your boyfriend in such good spirits as usual. But that unfortunately didn't last long, when the news of a Mara-struck outbreak came in, making you three hastily make your way to the generals main office so Jing Yuan could assess the situation better. The entire ship was in pure chaos, guards running around to evacuate citizens, whilst researchers ran around gathering their research.
You quickly trailed after Yanqing, his hand tightly holding onto yours protectively. "Stay close." He said to you, his eyes focused on his surroundings in case of a monster suddenly appearing. You just nodded, knowing that you'd be safe anyways. Not only because of Yanqing, but also because of the little secret you kept about your existence.
You don't know how you did it, but one day, you just suddenly woke up on the Xianzhou Luofu, in a completely different world and timeline from your original one. You were the Herrscher of Thunder and extremely powerful at that. When you met Jing Yuan and Yanqing, you tried vaguely explaining to them what you were and whilst they didn't fully understand it, they knew it had to be kept a secret, in case someone dangerous tries using you for their own gain.
And so, you were taken in by the general and instructed to not use your abilities, unless absolutely necessary. You didn't mind, as you never had a reason to use them anymore here anyways... but you had a feeling, that that may change sooner than you thought.
--
Eventually, you found yourself outside of the realm keeping commission with your boyfriend, patiently waiting on further orders on the situation. "... Are you worried, that the outbreak might spread further?" You quietly ask Yanqing, sitting down on some steps. "Hm, not really at the moment... but we should be aware of the dangers and possibilities... we can't let our guard down." He said thoughtfully, seemingly trying to also comfort you a little. But it was hard, when things were so uncertain and chaotic. The commission was scrambling to get everything under control and with the escape of a certain stellaron hunter, things were just getting worse and worse.
You nodded your head, about to say something else, when someone suddenly tapped your shoulder. "Uhm hey! Sorry to bother you... but is the commission somewhere nearby? We're kind of lost." A pink haired girl said to you nearly nervously, pointing at the older man and grey haired girl behind her with a defeated smile. Yanqing glanced at the three, noting that they were definitely foreigners. "Ah actually, it's right behind us." You say politely, making the girl blush in embarrassment.
"Oh... oops, so we were close after all, haha...!" She laughed, making the older man shake his head with a sigh. He looked over at you and stopped for a moment, his eyes narrowing. "... Are you perhaps apart of the commission?" He asked, making Yanqing quickly answer for you. "Not directly! I'm a lieutenant of the cloud knights and Retainer to general Jing Yuan. My girlfriend over here is my assistant." He clarified, guessing that the foreigners were asked to come here by someone on the ship.
You quickly found out more about the three guests after some quick mutual introductions. It was your first time hearing of the Astral Express and it intrigued you. Though Welt seemed oddly suspicious of you for some reason... you couldn't dwell on it much though, when a guard suddenly approached you in panic.
Turns out, that your worries and fears had come true. There was a mob of strong Mara-struck nearing the Exalting Santum and quickly at that. "I'll handle it. Report this to the generals immideatly." Yanqing said sternly to the guard, before turning to you and the trio behind you. "You should stay here-" "-I'm coming with you, whether you like it or not." You cut him off, stubbornly crossing your arms. "We'll join in too!" March said determinedly, as the other two deadpanned lightly at being dragged into this, yet decided to just agree and go along with it.
Yanqing stared at you four for a moment, before sighing in pure defeat. There was no time to argue back.
"Very well... but stay close and get ready for a tough fight. I have a feeling, that this won't go smoothly..."
--
And Yanqing was unfortunately right.
The Mara-struck were much stronger than you had anticipated and it was beginning to become impossible to keep them back. They were constantly regenerating their life energy and it was wearing you all out. You realised, that the only way to end this, was by using your abilities. And Welt seemed to think the same.
"I know what you are... do it and I'll have your back." The older man hummed, as he pushed up his glasses and gripped his cane. You sighed, before nodding and stepping infront of everyone. "(Y/N), stay back! What are you-" "-It's okay, I'll handle it." You said determinedly and in a flash, you took on your form as the Herrscher of thunder.
You opened your eyes, squinting a little in discomfort from how unfamiliar this felt. It's been a long time, since you've actually used your abilities like this. But you knew, that not even your sword could help much in this situation, which meant that you'll also have to call on some backup. You hoped, that your dear old "pet" still listened to you, after so long.
Most of your companions were staring at you in complete awe, never having seen someone like you before. Especially Yanqing, who's eyes trailed over the Blade in excitement. He didn't know, that you possessed it and now that he did, he'll definitely ask you to let him look at it closer later. But for now, he was intrigued to see how your abilities worked.
You crossed your arms infront of your chest, as your large mechanical arms swung down with the massive Katana and cut several monsters in half. It was much more effective, but even with your katana slashing through several enemies, there were still too many coming in. Deciding that it was time to call in your backup, you closed your eyes and focused on summoning your dragon ally.
The ground began shaking, the sky split in half, the clouds turning dark and black, as thunder roared through the sky. And much to your delight, your dear dragon Kurikara had indeed heard you and has come to the rescue. You smiled, as you looked up at it approaching you through a portal in the sky, practically racing to your aid loyally. It gave you an ache in your heart, remembering your old world always did that to you.
But you shook the emotions away, as Kurikara landed infront of you. "W-woah! Is that a new fragmentum monster or something?!" March yelled in slight fear, as the others got ready for a seemingly much stronger "enemy" now. Welt just hummed, recognising the dragon with ease, yet he said nothing. You'd explain everything on due time.
Yanqing frowned, stepping forward to protect you, as he gripped his sword in his hand. Yet he was stopped by Stelle, who was telling him to wait it out to see what happens. And he was glad he did, when you mounted Kurikara in the next moment and flew up into the dark sky. You looked down at the monsters with confidence, a small smile gracing your face.
"Let's do this, Kurikara. Like old times." You said and so the dragon unhinged it's large mouth and shot a laser beam right down onto your enemies. They were pulverised in an instant and those that did survive it, quickly retreated in fear of being next, which successfully eliminated the threat. You chuckled, your hand reaching down to pat the dragon absently.
It was nice, to feel this strong again.
--
"Sooo... you have a pet dragon? That's super cool!" March gasped in excitement, as she patted the dragon happily with your permission. You hummed and nodded, having explained that your dear companion was indeed no threat and in fact a friend of yours. Stelle decided not to question it, whilst Welt gave you a knowing look, that confirmed to you, that he knew more than he let on.
But if he didn't mention it, then you wouldn't either.
Yanqing on the otherhand just took your hands in his with sparkling eyes. He was unbearably proud of having you as a lover and was absolutely honoured too. "Thank you for stopping the threat, my crane... but I do have a request..." He trailed off and you couldn't help but smile at that. You knew what he wanted. "Once we get back and report to the general, I'll let you have a look at my blade." You promised him gently, smiling at the excited look he gave you. He pulled your hands to his lips and kissed them softly, his eyes radiating with warmth, as the sky returned back to normal, an orange hue enveloping you all.
"I love you." "I love you too, Yanqing."
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A/N: I hope this was okay and not all over the place or confusing! Thank you again dear Yanqing Anon for the request!<33
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sleeplessdreamer123 · 9 months
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Fanfic Idea! (Lucemond, modern-ish au, where the dominoes fall)
Aemond wasn't coming home tonight. Again. Lucerys felt stupid for even thinking Aemond would remember their anniversary. He quietly blew the candles he had lit and re-lit hours ago and placed the food in the fridge. He looked in the mirror, seeing himself dressed up in a beautiful green dress with a surprise lingerie underneath that Aemond would have no doubt loved, wearing the soft make-up Aemond told him he adored. He felt stupid all over again.
So to make the sting hurt less, he opted to open the bottle of the expensive wine they were given on their wedding day. It was strong, a bit sweet with a bitter aftertaste. He ignored the glasses and just chugged a quarter of it down straight from the bottle before stopping, the burning was strong from his throat to his chest. He sat on the floor of their bedroom next to their bed, well, just his bed most of the times. He honestly didn't know what to do anymore.
Like most couples, they weren't immune to fights and disputes and problems, and one of their more recent fights happened when Lucerys asked him to take some time off his busy schedule and be with him, go in their beach house, relax back home in Driftmark. Apparently, that set off a bomb, because Aemond snapped hard and an argument ensued. Yes, Lucerys knows that the project was important to Aemond since it was the first time Viserys ever entrusted anything of that importance to him. Yes, he knows that Aemond needed to prove to his family that he can manage such a project, that they could trust that he do well with the opportunity given to him. Yes, he knows it might be the only chance he gets to have a shot at being given at least a portion of the company. But what about them, their relationship?
They haven't seen each other in weeks, almost a month, Aemond too busy to even return home at times, and Lucerys, also dealing with the affairs of his own company. Both are tired, barely even saying anything to each other, other than a few I love you's, good mornings and goodbyes. Lucerys misses his husband, and thought he needed a break. Apparently, Aemond took it as Lucerys not believing he could do it. Lucerys knows of Aemond's insecurity issues, and did his best to show him that no, he knows Aemond can do it, that he was already doing great so far, it was just that Lucerys wanted both of them to feel relaxed and happy, to have some time for themselves.
Aemond was still frustrated, telling him that he wouldn't get it, that he was given everything in a silver platter and didn't need to fight for what he has. That offended Lucerys, who had to make sure everything was running smoothly because he can't afford a mistake, lest Vaemond uses it as an example of why he didn't deserve the company. Round after round of arguments, silent treatments, and when they finally did talk, they both apologized, the words too heated, both were tired and it was a slip of the tongue, and Aemond did tell him he, too, missed being together, just the two of them enjoying each other's presence, without work in their minds.
So they compromised, and everything seemed to go smoothly. Aemond even got what he wanted, moving up in the company and getting the praise Lucerys knows he deserved. Then he began overworking again, then Lucerys calls him out with the amount of plans he had to cancel because Aemond had work to do, and they argue. Then they apologize, make excuses, fix their schedule, and so on and so forth, the cycle neverending.
And it seemed Aemond decided to break his promise again. Lucerys knows it's not fair of him to think Aemond would drop everything to be with Lucerys all the time, especially since he has a lot to lose, just as Lucerys does, but he was able to do it, to prepare in advance, to finish his work early, to come home and prepare dinner, to dress up nicely and to set the mood for a romantic night. Just to be stood up again.
And honestly, he was getting tired of it. Tired of having to plan for special days only to have to cancel it, tired of feeling excited only to be met with disappointment when met with the usual text (or lack thereof). He was tired of spending too much energy trying to keep their relationship a happy one, only to be met with the "I'm busy's", and the "next time's". Honestly, it was foolish of him to think their anniversary would be different, I mean, he didn't even come to his own private birthday party, and Lucerys had to embarrassingly explain to both their parents and siblings why the birthday celebrant wasn't able to make it to his own birthday party, even after learning how to bake the cake, prepare his favorite meals, and even brought out a couple of movies Aemond enjoyed watching after. He forced himself to enjoy the party, and gave most of what he made to his family, insisting that they won't be able to finish it all anyway. Most of the family seemed to be showing varying degrees of pity, even Alicent, who really disliked their marriage, seemed to hesitate saying anything negative towards him that day.
As Lucerys drank away his blues, he can hear the rustling of keys. He was surprised Aemond even decided to return home. He can hear the door opening, knowing it revealed petals guiding him to their dining table with the unlit candles and the untouched dinner plates. He heard the quiet curse, before the footsteps got louder. Then the door opened, and Lucerys glanced at him, red faced, office clothes a bit untidy, most likely from running, with what looked to be flowers in his hand, and a box of cake he knows would be lemon cake on the other.
If it was the past, Lucerys would just laugh and gladly accept the obviously last minute preparation, now Lucerys just stares at him oddly, before drinking straight from the bottle again. He stood up unsteadily, took the flowers and the cake, and lead them to the sad dining table. Aemond tried to grab the lighter to re-light the candle, but Lucerys just told him it wasn't needed. Lucerys didn't bother getting their dinner out of the fridge, saying they should just skip to dessert. He cut the cake and placed two small pieces on their plates. Aemond tried talking, making excuses, and Lucerys just hummed, not really listening anymore. They soon stayed silent and finished up the cake. Lucerys couldn't even taste it, he just ate mechanically.
Aemond volunteered to clean up, and Lucerys just nodded, the wine making him sleepy. He just went to the bathroom and wiped off the make up, stripped and changed the lingerie to more comfortable sleepwear. By the time Aemond was done, Lucerys was already in bed, looking away from Aemond's side of the bed.
He silently changed and laid down next to him, seemingly hesitated before hugging him. Lucerys does nothing, neither accepting nor rejecting.
When Aemond whispered a "Happy Anniversary", Lucerys quietly allowed tears to fall, letting his tired self succumb to sleep.
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Exams were brutal, therefore 'tis time to make it everyone's problem😌
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willowbrookesblog · 6 months
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"I'm afraid of you."
Pairing: Sigtryggr Ivarsson x Fem!Reader Uthred's daughter and Stiorra's older sister
Notes: This is my first fic about Sigtryggr so if you notice something out of character for him or some spelling mistakes, please tell me :) I'm also lowkey highkey scared to post this because I've never truly written anything to the public 😩 but I know that by practicing my writing will slowly get better as time goes on so please give me some pointers if you want it will be greatly appricated- anywho hope you enjoy~
warnings: talk of childbirth/death but its just one line and doesn't get talked about again.
Y/n sat in silence - head resting on her hands that were interlocked under her chin starring at a book Sigtryggr asked her to read to him blankly, knowing that her sister was okay and that no one would harm her, she wasn't worried about Edward's family as she had a feeling they were going to be used as pawns or something of the sort.
She had already talked to Sigtryggr and had told him everything he had asked for in return for the security that her sister wouldn't be harmed to which he had agreed - she couldn't deny the warmth that spread through her when he had promised that he would not let anyone hurt her or her sister.
In truth, for the past few weeks she had grown quite close with him, Sigtryggr even going as far as to let her see Stiorra herself to make sure she was alright. Sigtryggr managed to figure her out - something most men couldn't do, and that terrified her. She had built walls around herself so that no one could get close to her, she didn't want to lose anyone else and he managed to make his way right into her heart and made her walls crumble to the ground while she stood watching them fall and there was nothing she could do about it.
Sigtryggr silently watched her from the opposite side of the room a small smile playing at his lips as she sighed "What is it?" Y/n turned to look at him "This is so stupid, I'm bored, tired, and hungry, and I'm tired of reading, my brain feels like it's being tortured" Y/n scoffed before pushing the book away and leaning her head on the table.
She heard Sigtryggr chuckle at her and lifted her head "What?" Sigtryggr moved to sit in front of her, handing her some bread, his fingers lightly touching hers as she grabbed it "Well then, you shall take a break. Tell me more about yourself, you said you often thought of your future, tell me about it" He asked her, only for information and totally not just him wanting to learn even more about her or anything "I want to go on a couple adventures, maybe own my own bakery, I refuse to have children so maybe have a cat or two, and then live a quiet and peaceful life," Y/n says as she looked up at him
Sigtryggr smiled at her and tilted his head "No children? why is that?" Sigtryggr asked her curiously and Y/n scoffed at the question not hesitating to answer him "I have no maternal bone in my body, when I hear a child cry I do not feel the need to comfort it instead I pray to the gods that it shuts up, and when a child falls I have no feeling to comfort them in fact i find it rather amusing." Y/n leaned back "Plus i don't want to die giving birth, it scares me" Sigtryggr nodded "that's understandable" it got quiet for a few moments before Sigtryggr got called for by someone and he excused himself, gently touching her shoulder as he went by.
Y/n sat quietly by herself, his touch set her skin on fire and she couldn't help but think of what it would feel like touching all over her body, she quickly shook her head and took a deep breath in trying to calm herself but it didn't do much to calm the heat her body was forming.
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About another two weeks had gone by and her body craved him, she wanted him more than anything and that terrified her, she didn't know it was possible to want something so much, didn't help that she would make up so many excuses just to get him to touch her, it was almost pathetic, she felt herself falling for him and she couldn't stop herself.
Similarly Sigtryggr was having the same problem, every time she asked for this or that and he let his touch linger on her, he knew that he was falling for her, but he wasn't upset by finding out he was, he was just worried about what would happen to her.
She sat down at the table back facing the door when he walked in "I'm afraid of you, afraid of the feelings that you make me have. Of how tempting it is to make excuses just to feel your touch on my skin, of lying to myself. I'm afraid of the feelings that consume my entire being when you come around, or when i think of you. I'm scared about how much I feel for you. I can't hide it anymore- I'm tired of hiding it and being afraid of you rejecting me, Of being scared of what I want" Y/n says to him as she stands up turning to face him
Sigtryggr tilts his head to the side and slowly steps forward to stand in front of her, "And what do you want?" His voice is firm but gentle "I want you" she responded almost instantly "I want you so much it scares me" Y/n said again her voice slightly quivering
Sigtryggr looked at her and nodded his head "Then you will have me, I was just about to come and tell you a deal has been made. You will come with me to Eorforwic, I will give you everything you wanted, adventures, your own bakery, cats, and a peaceful, quiet life"
Sigtryggr gently holds onto the sides of her face "If you would be willing to go with me, will you?" he asks looking in her eyes "I would happily go with you, Sigtryggr" Y/n smiles and pulls him closer to her and lays a gentle kiss on his lips.
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Please 🙏 please tell me how it was, did you enjoy it? Any feedback helps and is greatly appreciated <33 Also before I forget Please reblog 😊
@valeskafics @sihtricfedaraaahvicius I'm tagging you both just because I wanna know what you guys think of this <3
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itstheghostofmypast · 2 years
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Music To My Ears
Five x Talkative Wife
Note: Okay, so I've had this idea for a long time, basically a HC of what it would be like if Five (when he comes back to 2019) brings along his wife who is also his partner from the commission- who is super talkative, especially when she's nervous.
Five x FemReader
Gif Credit to rightful owner
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The first time he had seen Y/N, he simply wanted to kill her. Not only did she give away his hiding spot from the enemy but she would not STOP TALKING.
"Hi! I'm Y/N, I don't really have a last name, but it's an honour to meet you Mr.Five Sir. You're a lege-"
"Shhh!"
"It's alright they won't hear us!"
"Woman, please I don't need a partner, especially not one as annoying as Klaus!"
"Whose Klaus?"
"Tch no one-"
"HEY THEY'RE OVER THERE"
"SHIT"
And on that same mission Five got shot in the leg, which she kept apologising for over and over again, until he had to verbally say 'IT'S FINE PLEASE, JUST STOP TALKING I NEED TO THINK!'
Slowly, verrry slowly, she began to grow on him, killing wasn't his most favourite part of the job, and everytime she began talking nonsense he could tell she wasn't a fan of it either.
It didn't take him long to figure out that she would ramble on for hours a day when she was scared, nervous or just tired, especially on gruesome missions.
Yes, she would not stop talking even when she was drained. At one point he wondered if Delores thought he spoke a lot too. Until she ended up changing the topic of conversation around 5 times in 1 hour- no, this lady was a crackhead.
It was almost a year in their partnership and the Handler was pleased with their work. For Five was already a legend, he learnt that other than the useless chatter, the girl was a great assassin- quick, slick and brutal.
On one occasion, when Five was cornered and exhausted, he thought he was toast, almost ready to give up. He heard, "NOONE CORNERS MY PARTNER!" And gun shots.
They were all shot in the head
"Execution style?"
"Actually, I was super mad at you when you told me to stay at the motel because I'm very annoying and noisy. Like I get I can't be Delores but please I am my own person! I don't need to be someone else for you to accept me and hey! I am a great assassin by the way! Sure I talk a lot but before your rude a** came along I was running the show punk and-"
"Thank you Y/N, you saved my life today."
And that leaves her speechless, a whole year of knowing him, he had never thanked her, let alone ever spoken to her softly.
He smiles at her and hobbled to the car muttering a , 'You don't have to be Delores, you're better of as you.'
And that was the first mistake the boy made, because after that he began to notice more things about her that he liked.
The way she would ever so politely talk to people. How she was able to get intel by being nice- instead of using the interrogation methods he used.
More than often things would flow smoothly if she would do the talking.
3 years in and he wakes up one night, to get water and realises that she's not on the other bed. So he checks the washroom and she isn't their too.
Grabbing a bathrobe he goes out to the motel parking and finds her sitting on a bench, the cold night breeze tossing her hair around as she grips onto her cup- tea he presumes.
So, like any sane person he decides to give her some privacy, until he hears her sniff.
He goes and sits beside her and is just:
'Wanna talk?"
"No"
"NO?!?!?"
And she shakes her head, so he doesn't encourage her to speak, instead sits their quietly beside her, letting her cry silently.
An hour later he realises her head is on his shoulder and she mutters,
"When you go back, will you leave me?"
"I don't know..."
"Can I come with you?"
"You? But, I'm no fun nor a party goer, darlin' . I'll probably end up being an a** to you-"
"Would an a** have sat with me in the middle of a chilly night outside, letting me cry?"
And for once in his life Five had no answer. The resident genius had no clue to why her words had brought a sensation of tightness around his chest, why he felt her words cut through him. Was he actually going to leave her? If there was anyone (after Delores) who understood him, or rather had the balls to stand up to him, it was her. Yet, he had never realised how vulnerable she was on the inside.
That night ignites a fire within him, because 2 months later, on a mission in Hawaii, where the two are standing in a field of dead bodies he turns to her. All bloody and messy,
"Hey!"
"yes?"
"NOW GIVE ME A STRAIGHT ANSWER, YOU GOT IT?"
Utterly confused, she nods at the weirdo who looked like he was about to explode.
"MARRY ME?"
"Sure."
"I SAID A STRAIGHT ANSWER NOT A LONG EXPLANATION YOU - wait what?"
"I said, yes, Five Hargreeves, I'd like to spend whatever days I have left with an a** like you."
Cue the most abrupt and small wedding and exchanging of vows. Not that it mattered to either of them, because as soon as their 'secret wedding' was over, they were sent on another mission.
Naturally, she was rambling along the entire way,
"I really thought we could have cake though, but I guess we did have to keep it low key, oh speaking of low-key, I booked us a fancy couple's room I had been saving money for
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"
"What's with the face"
"You know~"
"Okay, I officially married Klaus."
"but, but, but you love me either way~"
"Seems to be so, now please stay quiet, we're entering their base and the last thing I want is to lose my wife on the second day of my marriage."
"WAIT WHAT"
"SHHH!"
Give or take many years later, the couple in their fifties is staring at the blue portal. Holding hands, both nervous, one quiet while the other...
"THIS BETTER WORK FIVE, I BETTER NOT END UP BEING TELEPORTED TO THE 1500's I AM TELLING YOU! WAIT! I DONT EVEN KNOW THE NAMES OF YOUR SIBLINGS, OTHER THAN VANYA AND KLAUS -"
"SILENCE WOMAN, ON THE COUNT OF THREE WE JUMP. 1 ...2-"
"3 I WIN"
And she pulls him into the portal as he yells at her.
The two end up on the ground with a loud thud.
Getting up he pulls her up and is just staring at her, up and down.
"Really Five, not a good time to be checking me out- wait why are you a child"
"shit."
"does anyone see a little number Five with ...a random girl?"
Without responding he drags her into the kitchen, the siblings following in right after. Watching him make her sit on a chair at the end of the table while he is preparing something.
Slowly they start interrogating him.
"It's been 22 years Number Five, where have you been?'
"It's been a lot longer than that."
"What happened to you?"
He places a sandwich infront of her and starts to devour his own.
"What do you think happened? I decided to test the limits of my time jumping, see how far I could go. Turns out, pretty far."
"Then how did you get back?"
By now, Y/N is visibly shaking in her chair, too nervous to even eat, staring up at Five who seems to be having a a not to pleasant conversation with his siblings.
Before responding to Allison he turns to look at her,his features softening, something ALL the siblings notice, "It's okay..." He whispers to her, "Eat."
"By projecting our consciousness backwards into a suspended quantum state version of us that exists in every possible instance of time."
"That makes no sense."
"It would if you were smarter."
"Granted, it did take me a little time to work out all the nuts and bolts of it."
Five notices that she's still not eating and he frowns only to glare at his siblings, "Stop staring at her you're freaking her out."
"US? YOU BROUGHT A RANDOM KID HERE FIVE"
"Random kid?" She slams down her sandwich. As Five smirks, 'well, at least she's better now'.
"I AM NO RANDOM KID, IM HIS WIFE. And by the way HE ISNT CRAZY- other than THIS MAN IN A NICE SKIRT I DONT SEE ANYONE WHO ONCE ASKED HIM HOW HE WAS? OR IF HE WAS OKAY? OR IF HE WAS ALONE!"
"Oh? danke- WAIT WIFE? Five DID U KIDNAP HER @?!"
"No, we're in our fifties."
"WHAT"
"Yes, now well that's established, Five we should really hurry up. Also, why don't any of you look similar? Didn't your dad die today? Wait, are you all here for a funeral - you guys have been fighting ever since you showed up huh? Not a lot of love I see, no wonder my husband's a little crackhead too. By the way, why are you so big? Oh- *turns to Vanya* you're the lady from the book, nice book by the way, family tea is the best, not that I'd know, I have no recollection of mine-" with that she got up and randomly walked out of the kitchen, a nervous wreck, something only Five could see.
"Five is she insane?"
"Ofcourse not you big ape."
They could still hear her go on about something from the other side of the house to which Diego frowned, "She talks a lot."
Five just grabbed his sandwich, walking out of the room, with a
"It's music to my ears."
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Note: OKAY SO THIS IS KINDA SHITTY? I don't know I just had to get it out of my system!, I hope y'all like it😭🥺❤️
TUA Taglist: @imaginesfire , @placidpluto , @achingwoundforaheart , @esmaada , @samyourneighbor , @xuenihao , @whoreofscience , @navs-bhat , @yuuki4646 , @simpformoonkight , @crowleysqueenofhell ,@anapotatowriter thank you, you lovely people for choosing to be part of my taglist ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊˚)
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lazybutsmexy · 1 year
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Choices have consequences
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Alejandro Vargas x reader (GN)
Warning: light angst, culinary crimes, talk about past food insecurity.
Summary: There is an unwritten rule that you assumed Alejandro would have learned by now, after three years of committed relationship: don't anger the cook. You were wrong.
On AO3
A/N: I'm like, five vodka cocktails in. If there are any mistakes I'll fix them when I'm sober. Also I got inspired by @ragingbookdragon 's badass reader because I just know Alejandro is. So. Whipped.
When you had decided to move in together, an arrangement was made: all household chores would be shared when he was present, but you would be in charge of meal planning and cooking.
It was a convenient set-up for the two of you; you wouldn't be burdened with all the chores when he was off-duty, and would only look after your own load of housekeeping when you were by yourself. Besides, Alejandro was by no means an incapable man when cooking, you were just better than him in that regard - by a lightyear.
To you, cooking wasn't just a means to an end - it was an act of service, a declaration of love. And to date a passionate man as Alejandro, you showed the same passion for your culinary art.
The kitchen was your realm, and you were the regent. No matter whoever was going to be the recipient of your hard work, you always chose the finest ingredients. You loved to experiment with flavours and aromas. You had transformed an unused closet at the far end of your kitchen into a walk-in pantry - your spices occupied nearly an entire wall in there.
You put your heart and soul into every dish, it didn't matter if it was for Alejandro and you, a house full of guests, or just yourself. Those close to the both of you knew that a dinner invitation to your house meant a culinary experience that could rival that of a Michelin star restaurant.
And you were damn proud of yourself for that. You nurtured yourself on the faces of your guests when their head tilted slightly backwards, their eyes closed, and a soft moan escaped them as soon as they tried your meals. Alejandro himself had more than once interrupted himself from eating to cup your face in his hands and kiss you to thank you for your efforts.
Which is why the very words that came out of his mouth hit you like a train dead on.
Granted, he didn't say them to you directly, you overheard him on accident the previous day while he was talking on the phone. You didn't mean to eavesdrop, but he wasn't being secretive either. He was sitting in the living room, and the conversation was quite light-hearted, so you assumed that the topic was nothing related to his work. You still kept quiet, sneaking behind him to grab a book you had meant to start reading for a while.
The conversation had shifted to meals, somehow, and it caught your attention immediately when he mentioned some of the meals you often made. It never failed to warm your heart when he gushed about your culinary skills.
"...I mean, I appreciate the effort because it's such a hassle to cook and they do it all from scratch, but a few times it felt like I was eating rations in the field."
...What?
He couldn't be talking about your food, right?
...Right?
He ended his sentence with a chuckle, and you just stood there, fingers grasping the spine of the book. Your eyes were fixed on the shelf as his conversation moved on, his voice fading from your perception.
There was a weight on your chest that expanded to the bottom of your stomach and to the middle of your head, settling right behind your eyes. Knowing what was to come, you left the book in its place and walked back to the room you'd come from, just as quietly as you'd arrived.
After twenty minutes or so, you emerged from your hiding place, face freshly washed and - hopefully - no traces of the little angst marathon you went through. Alejandro still sat in the living room, this time he was watching a rerun of some fútbol match, completely unaware of the beast he had unknowingly set loose.
You walked straight to the kitchen with a newfound determination, a mission if you will. After gulping two cups of water to rehydrate yourself - and a quick prayer to your late abuela for forgiveness for the crime you were about to commit - you put your hands to work. You usually took about two hours to cook, but you were sure that you would be over much quicker than that.
You carefully washed, sliced, and prepared the main ingredients, making sure that the meal would have everything necessary to look absolutely normal. You were akin to an explosives expert assembling a bomb, every step carefully calculated to achieve your goal.
The light scent of that escaped from the pot caught Alejandro's attention, and he robotically moved to set the table. You stole a glance at him, finding him eager and looking forward to dinner with a tiny grin on his face.
Estúpido mimado.
A few more minutes passed and the rice stew was ready. You looked at it, quite bland and lacking some colour, and knowing exactly how it would taste. Memories from a time long past flashed in your mind and you forced yourself to shoo them away. Carefully, you brought the pot to the table and filled two plates - Alejandro's, like always, had a extra spoonful.
You both sat down and started eating. You kept your eyes on your plate as you heard him chomp down eagerly, then quietly slow down until pulling to a stop. You tried your best not to break into a devilish smirk as he finally spoke to you.
"... Mi amor?" He sounded confused, if not a bit concerned, "the food tastes... Uh... Different than usual."
"...Yeah?," You quipped, knowing exactly what was wrong with the food, it wasn't just bland. It was sick dog level of blandness. No spices at all, no herbs, not even salt. "I tried a new recipe today."
"Uh, okay?," He frowned a bit, slowly pushing the food around with his plate, wondering how to tell you that he didn't like it one bit, "it just... It has no spices...?"
You can't contain your smirk this time, it felt like getting away with a crime. It was a criminal masterpiece.
"Pues claro, mi amor," your voice was sweet, but the mirth in your tone couldn't be hidden, and ran a shiver down his spine, "I wanted to emulate the flavour of the rations you seem to love so much."
Alejandro blinked once, twice, and felt his blood run cold. Had you heard him?
"Mi amor-" he began, but you interrupted him, pointing your spoon to his face.
"Escúchame bien Alejandro Vargas," you scolded him and he gulped and shut his mouth, sitting straight in his chair, "this kind of food would've been a banquet for me growing up. The sort of food I so lovingly dedicate myself to prepare everyday is the result of my dreams and desires from when I was a kid, and you disrespected that by acting como un estúpido mimado."
"Pero claro," you pitch raised and Alejandro had flashbacks of his own mamá whenever he got a scolding, "el señor put my meals at the same level of the rations he gets from the army, which I know how they taste like and don't you forget that," you accentuated every syllable with the spoon, which was still pointed at his face. Alejandro gulped as he watched you, and you continued on, "so I decided that you will eat this meal - all of it - and be thankful for every meal you receive from today on, mine or the army's, because making fun of the meals I so lovingly make for you is the same as making fun of me as a kid who got this only when there was something to celebrate. Entendido?"
"...Si, mi vida," Alejandro stated with a nod, feeling like a little kid under your harsh glare, "cada palabra."
"Good," you nodded, and carried on with eating your own meal, "que sea la última vez."
Alejandro took a few seconds to carry on with his meal, making a mental note to bring you a bouquet of flowers in the morning with your breakfast.
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malina-33 · 8 months
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Femme like you - Chapter 1
Summary: You are the new tour manager for Arctic Monkeys during The Car era. You are practically the only girl in the team, also younger than the rest (27), so your skills are immediately called into question. In particular, by the frontman who is not used to being led by a woman.
Word count: 3,1k
Warning: age gap
A/N: Hi, you all!!! I'm so thrilled and excited to do this kind of stuff, but it feels like I'm making my dream come true. This series won't be very long even though I have an eye-watering number of moments I want to release in this fic, but English isn't my first language and it's pretty tough to write in it (so if you find any mistakes don't be afraid to text me and correct). I spent a lot of time to write this small opening chapter, that’s why following parts won't appear regularly, but I promise to uptade them every 2-3 weeks! They will definitely be longer that the opener😉
I read a lot of works with Alex, 'cause my addiction doesn't seem to disappear, so this idea just popped in my head and I couldn't resist. Never thought that I would be an author, not a reader in Tumblr, but voila - here I am. I really expect you to love it❤️
And yes, I know that their current tour manager is Steven Champan, but for the story I changed it slightly, hope you won't mind :)
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“James, seriously?” Alex looked away in bewilderment from the bottle of Hennessy to Ford.
“More than you can imagine” producer chuckled. “I will be with my family in Scotland, I haven’t seen them in a while, and she will replace me for the UK and European parts only, it’s about one and a half months”.
Turner looked him up and down with a displeased look, still sitting on the couch with a bottle in his hands “That’s ridiculous. She has never worked with us! She will break into all our well-established processes, not knowing the specifics of the work and will only interfere. We'll make it on our own, not the first time, man, huh?” Alex decided to soften his tone a little to appease his friend and cutely knitted his eyebrows.
“Al, you are being childish. C’mon, we have already agreed on everything, she is a good specialist, don't let yourself be deceived by her appearance” Ford threw a jacket over his shoulders, silently saying that the conversation is over.
“Just because she's your friend's daughter doesn't mean she's good!” The singer spat out the last argument hoping to reach out to the conscience of their producer.
“Give her a chance, you won't be disappointed” James said mysteriously, closing the door quietly behind him and leaving the disgruntled frontman alone with his obsessive thoughts.
***
You sat in your car in the parking lot in front of the Domino Records headquarters, nervously clutching a Starbucks cup. There were still 20 minutes before the meeting, but you arrived early. All the documents had already been signed, the agreements had been discussed, but the most thrilling moment remained - the meeting with the group itself and the technical crew.
When James Ford, your father's old friend from university and at the same time music producer for Arctic Monkeys, called you several weeks ago with an unusual request, you simply didn't have a chance to refuse. You've been dreaming of working in this industry since 16, especially since you adored this group and were at their concerts six times. Being their manager for one part of the 7th album tour sounded like a fantasy, but here you are, sitting in front of their label building, where you have a meeting with the musicians. If you caught the lucky girl syndrome, then you definitely didn’t want to let it go. At least not now.
From the trance into which you plunged by shaking coffee in the cup, you were brought out by the deafening creak of tires on asphalt. You immediately snapped out and looked in the rearview mirror. An elegant Cadillac whistled and stopped 3 parking lots away from you just passing the dividing line.
You weren't stupid not to realize whose car it was. The passenger got out, slamming the door sharply. He was wearing a beige trousers and matching jacket with black vest underneath, translucent red aviators were on despite a cloudy day. Paying no attention to your car and not even bothering to close his, a man quickly walked inside the building.
You followed the door closed behind Alex Turner itself with a blank look, finished your coffee in one gulp and also got out of the car, taking your purse from the passenger seat. Having heard about his "punctuality", you assumed that everyone else had already arrived, so you walked to the building as well. "There's no point in delaying this moment, let's start early" you bravely told yourself.
The studio in southwest London wasn't as big as you expected it to be. The guard pointed you to room 14, saying that you were already awaited. Inside, the bright corridors were hung with rare photographs, including images of early Monkeys' concerts. You smiled slightly as you looked at the photos of four young people laughing with their hands in their pockets. "Nice time" you thought.
You didn't really understand why you were so inflamed. You are all adults, lads have been warned about the change in management in advance so it won’t be a surprise for them, what could be the problem? You had enough work experience to know what to do, you were excellently good-looking and successful, then why did your palms sweat? Immersed in your thoughts you didn’t notice that you had reached the end of the corridor and stopped at the half-open door, from behind which quiet voices could be heard.
“Oi, she better buy me a bottle of beer on the way, my head hurts after yesterday. Why did I come so early, gosh?”
“It's been 5 minutes since you've been here, and you've already blown my mind’’. Seemed that it was Matt.
"I prefer to come sober to meetings scheduled in advance, but for the future I will keep in mind to see you no earlier than Tuesday, Mr. Turner”. Maybe it wasn’t the best greeting phrase, but you just couldn't resist. When you entered the room with these words, 7 surprised pairs of eyes met your figure. Alex, Matt and Nick were sitting on a leather sofa in the center of the room, Jamie was pouring water into a glass at a side table, Steven was sitting in a chair talking to Ben, who was reclining on the arm of this chair, behind them was a man whose name you didn’t know.
"I'm sorry," you quickly became embarrassed, realizing how inappropriate those words sounded. Silence reigned in the room for a few seconds, but was quickly interrupted by the awkward coughing of that same unfamiliar man. "Um guys, this is your new tour manager for these two months, Y/N Y/S" He said softly enough, stepping out from behind the chair and holding out his hand for you. "I'm Marcus, James' assistant, the rest you should know".
"Yeah, right, he told me about you, I'm very glad to meet you," and carefully shifting your gaze to the others you added "everyone".
You stood in your knee-length leather boots, denim shorts and an oversized cream-colored jacket not knowing what to do with the burning eyes on your persona.
"Actually, I brought a homemade cider as an ice-breaker, it's in my trunk, so after the official part of the meeting we can try it. Not beer, but still tasty," you said with an apologetic smile, trying your last attempt to ease the conversation. The room froze in silence once again, and in this moment Matt laughed out loud, slapping his knee and throwing head back on the headboard. Jamie and Nick joined him, smiling broadly, while Ben, Steven, and Marcus chuckled hoarsely as they looked at each other. Only Alex remained frowning as he continued to scan your figure.
"I like her already! Great move, miss Y/S" Matt said, obviously being amazed.
You breathed a sigh of relief as you sat down in the chair Marcus offered you. He was noticeably younger than the others, near your age, which immediately made you sympathize with him.
"Well, when we finally got to know each other, let's get down to business. As you all know James is on an unscheduled vacation due to family circumstances. Hence we are going to work with Miss Y/S in UK and Europe festivals, while I will assist her. I know that Y/N discussed with James all the main points about dates, places and stuff, but now we have to delve into details of the organization process itself. Ben and I will explain the tech part and the lads will share their preferences" Steven began the discussion by leaning a little closer to the center of your improvised circle. He seemed to be a very wise and at the same time charismatic man. Attractive, but platonically.
“Sorry, may I interrupt before we start” It sounded more like a statement from Alex. “How old are you, once again?"
"I'm 27, Mr. Turner. And let's make it clear, since this still raises questions. Yes, I'm quite young relative to you and indeed a stranger to your team. But I've known James for a long time, as well as your work, whose main fan I have been since 18. I have been in show business for 7 years now and worked with Maneskin at the very beginning of their career. It’s not difficult for me to provide my CV if necessary, but I’m here because I sincerely want to help my father's friend and ensure that you have the most comfortable atmosphere during your stay in Europe. I have an idea what it's like to be on tour for a year, I understand how tired you are, and that you need conditions for rest and creation. So I'll let you do your job without the interference and you’ll give me freedom to do my work properly, I'm sure we both do it very well, especially since you are not the only one, Mr. Turner, who can make a show out of nothing”. At these words the drummer whistled, turning to the gloomy vocalist, but you continued “I’m really extremely happy to be a part of Arctic Monkeys team, for me this is a great opportunity to test myself and work with such big people like you. So I don't see any problems in our interaction, taking into account that I'm here temporarily.
You glanced at the men with a soft, but tenacious look, catching your breath “Didn't seem to miss anything at this point, deal?”
Steven was the first to answer, smiling paternally at you and accepting your little speech. You also noticed that Turner shook his head, but smirked to himself, which relaxed your muscles a bit. If you didn't get along from the first sentence, then at least you can establish a normal business relationship. You understood that the nature of a rock star is unpredictable, following the development of the group and the change in the image of the frontman for many years, but you couldn't imagine that he would talk so irritably to new people. Yes, he certainly behaved ugly, but you also started the dialogue with a caustic comment. Apparently, you deserve each other.
After the temperature in the room dropped and everyone took a more relaxed posture, you began to discuss current tasks. Your first gig will be in Bristol on May 29th, so you have two weeks to get ready. In fact, everything has already been done even before the start of the whole tour. Now your duty is only to coordinate the setlists with the guys for each performance, to make sure that all agreements with venues are fulfilled, the rider is completed, the equipment is working properly, the buses are ordered, the hotels have confirmed the reservation, and the whole team has arrived safe and sound. Okay, maybe it's not so little, but you're ready for any challenge. This is your passion after all.
You will ride in a separate minivan with the management team, and not with the guys, which in general wasn’t a big surprise for you, but in hotels you will be provided with a separate room, unlike the rest of the staff, who live in double suits. You didn't know what caused such generosity, but you were pleased anyway. You talked for about an hour, agreeing to meet again at the sound check in a week, and then only before leaving for Bristol. During this time you will have to study all the venues, call the transport company and confirm the details of the trips.
Your meeting ended on a positive note, the guys were asking you about your life, your education and hobbies, you said that you had been dancing professionally for many years and even took up drumming at the university, to which Matt happily promised to give you lessons, triumphant that he finally met someone who doesn't play the guitar, but the drums.
“Be careful, Matthew, if it turns out that she is more talented than you, we’ll replace you without any hesitation. She looks better” Nick joked and immediately got the middle finger in response from the drummer. Even Alex genuinely smiled, looking back at the friend.
"Oh, don't worry, it's unlikely. But as for the cider I wasn't joking, at least I'm definitely good at that"
"Wait, did you make it yourself?" surprised Ben.
"Yes, I live in the suburbs of London and have my own small garden, I make cider for friends during the season"
"You know what, I'm already tired of this stuffy room, you say it's in your trunk?" Matt, confirming his status as the most talkative member of the group, stood up impatiently, stretching his stiff limbs.
"Yes, let's go and give it a try" you said, also getting up from your chair. “Who is with us?” you raised an eyebrow in question and the answer was six men who rose to their feet.
"Definitely need a smoke” murmured Alex in addition, patting his pockets for a pack of cigarettes.
“Damn, where did James find her?” you heard Jamie's question addressed to Steven as you left the room with Matt and couldn’t hold back a short, but self-satisfied smirk. "That's not the last ace in the hole, Jamie" flashed through your head.
"I'm asking the same question" but instead of Champan, the voice was given by Alex.
"Al, will you calm down today or not? Did yesterday's booze give you such a headache?" Cook hissed almost angrily.
But you didn’t hear the answer, moving away along the corridor to the exit.
***
When all the lads came out from the studio, you and Matt had already taken a wooden case with 12 bottles of cider out of the trunk of your white Range Rover and put it on the hood. Coming closer, Alex threw a jacket over his shoulders and took out cigarettes, offering you one.
"I don't smoke, thanks," you replied calmly. He arched an eyebrow in surprise and took a pipe of tobacco between his lips. “You better start, darling” He took a quick puff, blowing smoke in your face, and looked intently from under his eyelashes. Despite the sweet name, from his lips it sounded somehow humiliating. You didn't answer, turning around and taking one of the bottles, silently passing it to him. He thanked you, and you gave each man a bottle as well. "For the new leg of the tour! Cheers!" Steven exclaimed, raising the bottle in the air and you all clinked glasses together.
The eight of you stood in the parking lot next to your car. You and Marcus leaned on the hood, Chapman nestled next to your right, and the guys were in front of you. You stayed in pleasant silence, interrupted by the chirping of birds from a nearby square and breezes of the wind that swayed your styling. Satisfied sigh followed by Marcus and Jamie, which made you laugh cutely.
"Enjoy?" you asked playfully, taking a sip.
"Y/N, that's amazing! I’ve never thought our team would feel so acutely short of a personal alcohol supplier" Jamie savored the taste, taking small sips.
"It's only 6% alcohol, I brought this one on purpose, knowing that you will most likely be driving. But there is also 12% sort in my basement, so in case of anything, you know where to find me"
"Actually not, but for the sake of such a case, we will definitely get your address from James" Nick answered cheerfully.
You spent 20 more minutes talking about the process of making an apple brew and sharing your alcohol tastes. “What a topic to discuss” you hummed to yourself. Eventually you gave Ben, Marcus, Jamie, and Matt one more bottle, promising to bring more of 12% sort to the concert, and you were about to leave when suddenly your phone rang. A dark and mystical tune played from the back pocket of your shorts.
"Woah, that’s pretty old one" Alex said with unexpected liveliness.
"One of my favorites from yours" you replied quickly, pulling out the device. It was James. You decided to call him back when you would be alone, so you dropped the call, texting him that you would call back later.
"Hey Al, we haven't played it in a while. What do you think, mate?" Matt asked conspiratorially, giving him a little nudge on the shoulder.
"We’ll see, I think it's possible. NME will especially rejoice at this, still considering it insanely vulgar" the singer rolled his eyes, but couldn't help smiling.
"Isn't that right, Mr. Turner? Whose propeller is it then?" you grinned as you took an empty box and returned it to the trunk of the jeep.
"Miss Y/S, don't make me doubt your foresight as well" to your surprise, he came over to help you close the tailgate. You dusted your hands and shifted awkwardly from one foot to another, being locked between the car and the frontman. You could literally see wrinkles around his eyes and cider-wet lips that now were gently stirring.
"Who called?" the man asked more quietly than usual. "Uh, James, I think I should call him as soon as possible"
"Yeah, most likely" Turner reluctantly backed away from you, letting you through, and you walked to the driver's door.
"Well, guys, I was very glad to see you, I'm sure fruitful work awaits us!" you smiled reassuringly, swaying from heel to toe from jitters and excitement from upcoming events.
"See you in a bit, Miss Y/S, I will send you all our numbers and other necessary contacts tonight. Sleep enough these days, you will soon miss it" Steven winked and extended his hand to you for a handshake, so you answered him willingly.
“Goodbye, guys, see ya!” you only waved at other lads as you climbed onto the running board and sat inside the car. The Rover started with a pleasant growl, vibrating under your hands. You drove off, leaving the men in the parking lot, but noticing one fixed look of chocolate eyes in the rearview mirror. You attributed the recognition of the color of his eyes to a million views of concert photos on the Internet, but not to those few seconds near the trunk when you smelled his cigarette breath on your face.
That will be a roller-coaster indeed
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A/N: Please, let me know what do you think about this duo, what are you expecting from them, what do you want to read in the next chapter? Let's get to know each other better in comments - how long are you in fandom, what are your favorite type of fics and etc? Your feedback is my force to write, love you and stay tuned - a big adventure is going to happen 🤭❣️
I also publish the work on AO3:
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shalscumbunny · 7 months
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Shalnark reacting to his S/O calling him for the first time by an affectionate nickname
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Summary: Shalnark getting horny for a minimal action of yours because he loves you, wants you and needs you like the air, yes
Pairing: Shalnark X GN.Reader (I tried to do it as less explicit in genitals so that it was GN)
Warnings: Sex, Shalnark being a hormonal who just wants to leave you full of his seed and without walking for several days
Author’s note: I always mention it in all my writings in English, but better safe than sorry, English is not my native language so it is very likely to find many mistakes and also that I know practically nothing about writing “X character and Reader”
Sites: AO3
I will say that this situation can occur in our much loved toxic environment with Shalnark where we are kidnapped and only resign ourselves to spend the rest of our existence with him or in a healthy tender relationship, you choose.
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You and Shalnark were having quality time on the sofa, quietly watching a series on television until the beeping of the washing machine indicated that the clothes were ready.
"Not me" Shalnark said, drinking his soda while he held you by the waist.
"Oh, you go..." You said leaning on his chest
"No" He mockingly denied you
“Shal… Please” You said with puppy eyes
You were startled when Shalnark suddenly sat up in the sofa, grabbing your shoulders and staring into your eyes.
“Oh! What's happening?” You asked alarmed
“What did you call me!?” He asked shaking you.
A blush covered your face when you met his intense gaze and realized that it was the first time you called him by a nickname.
"What do I call you?" You asked nervously looking away embarrassed “Do you mean Shal?”
Shalnark's breath hitched as he heard your sweet lips call him that cute nickname again, as his heart raced and his cheeks flushed red.
"Well... I don't know... we've been together for a while and Shal is a cute nickname" You tried to justify yourself embarrassed
You were so into it that you didn't notice Shalnark's body and thighs tense and his eyes widen more with each second that he saw and heard you.
"Not bad, right?" You asked hesitatingly and playing with your thumbs and then you looked up at him with a smile “Can I nickname you Shal?”
Shalnark's breath caught momentarily seeing you smile so sweetly and innocently and call him by that nickname again, soon he felt his blood rise from him and his cock harden hearing you.
Before you could react Shalnark had already taken you in his arms, he carried you to the bedroom and threw you on the bed starting to take off his shirt.
Your look of surprise, embarrassment and bewilderment made him bite his lip as he managed to get much more aroused and there was no escape for you, you both knew it.
It was a matter of time before you were under Shalnark, with your face buried in the pillow, whining and moaning over stimulated as Shalnark had a tight grip on your hips thrusting hard and fast while biting into your neck and shoulders leaving purple marks and small wounds.
“Come on Y/n…” He ordered between moans and growls in your ear “Call me Shal again”
“S-Shal…” You called him between whimpers and moans while your saliva wet the pillow “Too much… It's too much…!”
Even Shalnark's own body told him it was too much, but he couldn't control himself and he wasn't thinking of stopping anytime soon, when that nickname left your beautiful lips, it was impossible for him not to lift your hips higher and start thrusting into you with much more force at the same time, while groaning and gasping with pleasure.
"Again... please... I need to fill you... just one or two more times" He asked excitedly, his face flushed and his nails digging into your hips
“S-Shal!” You whimpered at the continued increase in strength and speed, you moaning and shivering under him.
“That... that... I'm your Shal... Damn... never stop calling me that” He said, biting your shoulder strongly possessively “You're mine... mine... damn mine”
The most correct thing was to assume that it was impossible for you to escape and that Shalnark did not stop until his body was unable to continue and when he finished, he could only breathe agitated, watching proud to see your entrance dripping with his seed, hugging your trembling body, with an innocent smile, not caring that tomorrow you probably won't be able to walk properly.
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Thank you so much for reading my shit 🖤
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callmissrogers · 1 month
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That's My Girl | Part 2
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Summary: After the failed mission and death of the Bons, the team searches for an explanation and discovers that this is a much larger game than they first thought it to be. What will this do to y/n?
Word count: 4,919
Part 1
Warnings: Some fluffy fluff to begin with. I tried to insert some humor here and there. Annnddd some angst. Expect the next chapter to much more angsty, tho. Also, I only proofread once, and my head is like a cotton ball due to being sick, so apologies for any mistakes.
Note: Hey everyone! I'm sorry this has been delayed. I've been down and out with the flu and haven't been able to think striaght enough to write this out. But the last couple of days, albeit still being pretty down with it, I've been able to piece this together. Tell me what you think!
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The sun was beginning to shine through the compound windows, casting long golden lights across the floor.
Y/n was sitting on a stoll in the kitchen, trying to take deep breaths to steady herself.
Looking down at her hands, which, thanks to her little workout, were cut up, bloody, and bruised.
Steve slowly walked back into the kitchen, holding a little white box, which y/n assumed was a first aid kit. He pulled out the stoll next to hers and eased himself down.
"Hand," He said, holding out his own. Y/n swallowed, slowly placing her hand in his.
He furrowed his brow as he examined it, "Y'know, you're supposed to wrap your hands before you do stuff like this." He said, clicking his tongue.
Y/n didn't say anything but gasped and tried to pull her hand away. Only for Steve gently tightens his grip, glancing at her with an apologetic look. "I'm sorry - I know it stings." He whispered.
Y/n nodded, still flinching some ad he dabbed away at the cuts. Then he treated them with salve and bandaged them as best he could.
Looking down at her hands, y/n sighed. "I'm sorry." She mumbled, making him pause in his efforts to tidy away the materials. "Y/n..." She knew he was about to say something along the lines of "youwereupsetanddonthavetobesorryforanythingbecauseIcareaboutyou"
"No, Steve. You. . . You were trying to be there for me, and I was a jerk. Don't excuse it just to be nice." She said, dropping her head when her voice broke.
He sighed, staring at her a moment before she felt his calloused thumb and index finger tuck under her chin, and then gently tugging to make her look at him."You know, one of the things I think I like most about you is how sensitive you are to everyones feelings." He said quietly. "But, believe me when I say, my feelings weren't hurt. Do you know how many times you've stood by and saw through me to understand why I've said or done something? I can do the same. All I cared about was that my girl was hurting." He said, leaning down to peck her on the cheek and then pulling away.
So she sat sat frozen for a second. The ach from what had happened still sat on her chest, but Steve Rogers had managed to create a warm pool in her stomach. Never failing to make her feel loved, safe, and seen whenever she was with him. How did she end up so lucky to be the girl that caught his eye?
Suddenly, it occurred to her that he was cooking behind her. Twisting around, she asked, "What are you doing?" "You haven't eaten anything in ages." He replied, tossing some bacon into a hot pan and cracking eggs into a glass bowl. It felt good to just allow herself to be taken care of now.
By the time he finished, they had eggs, bacon, sourdough toast smuttered in butter and applebutter, with tall glasses of orange juice and coffee.
For the time being, she allowed herself to be distracted, pushing the heavy dark feeling to the back of her mind.
He sat with her and made her laugh with some stories he hadn't yet told her about some mischief Bucky had gotten him into in high school. Obviously, it was never his fault.
They had just finished eating when Nat walked into the room. Fixing herself a large mug of coffee, she said, "Steve, when you're done here, I need to talk to you." Natasha had a determined look in her eye that told Steve she had found something. "I'll be right there." He replied.
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"We need to talk," Nat said, yanking Steve by the arm and into her office. "What is it?" He was used to Natasha's unorthodox methods, so he really wasn't too taken aback by this.
"I was looking into things like you asked. We already know the reason the doctor was taken - Hydra wanted him for his skillset. However, we still don't know what they want to use that skill set for. They have to have the formula and whatever else they need. Otherwise, he wouldn't be dead." She muttered along.
She never realized just how fast she spoke when talking about mission work. It was a brain workout to keep up with her.
"We better off finding out who exactly is in charge of this operation as that will give us an idea of their game plan. "So I reviewed things like call logs, internet searches, and swips on metro cards, three days before the kidnapping." "I'm going to take a guess and say you didn't actually get any legal permission to do any of this?" "Do you really wanna know? I don't really wanna think about the fact that you're breaking the law just to do some -" "Then I won't tell you how I got my information. " She interrupted before bringing up a few files on the TV screen mounted to her wall. She used this like a murder board in crime shows.
"All of the information proved helpful. . . Y/n really shouldn't feel bad - this Doctor's soul was pitch black. " "Nat" "Apologies, almost forgot I was talking to golden boy. Anyway, some of the most relevant information now is the call logs."
"Why?" "Well, Steve. . . ." She said hesitating as he sat down on her desk with a sigh. "The caller tried to mask where the signals came from. They did a decent job of it too, not good enough to trick my guy, but good." "Nat, stop avoiding the point and just tell me," Steve knew full well that Natasha's method of distracting someone from something was to confuse them with irrelevant facts.
She sighed and then clicked something on her keyboard, which brought up a map, a map of their city. . . It was focusing on the compound. Steve's jaw tightened, and his hands clinged into fists.
"Nat..." "The calls to the Doctor originated here, Steve. We have a mole."
He saw red. It took everything in him to keep himself from punching out the monitor.
"Steve. Steve!" Natasha said, bringing him back to reality. "Who?" He spat, turning back to face her. Steve could turn into cold stone when he got angry. A force to be reckoned with that none of the other Avengers wanted to mess with. But Natasha knew enough to know that he wasn't angry with her. 
So with a deep breath and her most reassuring look she could muster, she said, "we don't know that yet. The fact that they haven't raised any red flags until now tells me they're pretty good at covering their tracks." "Well I won't just stand by idle while they have a free ride to do as they please." Steve said, strutting towards the door.
"You won't have to. Now that we know that they're here. They won't be able to hide." Natasha said all playfulness gone, her tone the sort that would make anyone's blood run cold.
"Call a meeting," He ordered. "I already did." She said, grabbing her tablet and exciting the office before he did. "I just figured I should clue you in first." She finished heading to the counsel room. That would mean he wouldn't have time to give y/n a heads up and that she'd hear it at the same time as everyone else. Knowing just how hard the last day or so had been for her, he wished he could somehow make things easier for her. 
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In the counsel room, the others were already deep in conversation. Debating how to go about rooting out the Mole.
"I say, we start tapping phone calls. Put something on their Starkcell that will give us what we need." Tony said, spinning his pen on the table. "You can't do that, and you know why." Sam protested, leaning back in his chair. "They're technically my phones." "Which you technically gave to them, so it's literally still against the law to riffle through their private information." Sam answered angrily.
"What about undercover work? Send someone in to kinda get a feel for things?" Wanda asked. "Send them in where? We have like a million departments." Bucky retorted.
"Ok!" Steve said singally for them to be silent. "We need a course of action. A legal course of action. " He finished as he took a seat. "Natasha. "
"Ok. The way to run out a mole is to make them think they're ahead of the game. Let them believe they're in control of the situation." She said, leaning back and propping her feet up on the table.
"Last time I checked, they are in control. Since, again, we have no idea who they are." Bucky retorted before smacking her foot to make her move.
"Yeah, sure, we don't have names. Yet. But may I remind you we're the same people that stopped a literal alien invasion. I think we can manage a spy ring or whatever this may be. We know they're here, and we're going to make their lives a living hell when we find them."  Nat said, ignoring him.
Steve kept glancing at y/n. Who was sitting hunched over in her chair, hands clasped together, the same expressionless face she puts on any time she really wants to pretend to be fine.
"How is this any different from what I suggested? The way I see it is the only way to their life a living hell is to make everyone's life a living hell." Tony snarked, taking a bite out of an apple. Why did he always have to eat during important meetings?
"Tony." Steve warned, setting his jaw. Normally, Tony would continue to push the issue and see just how far he could push the Star Spangled Man (as he liked to call him), but given the situation, he backed down.
"Now. . . Before they just sorta came out of the woodwork when they wanted to get rid of me," Steve said, taking on his leadership voice. "What we gotta do is work backward. Our starting point is-" He glanced at y/n again before continuing, wishing she hadn't come to the meeting or that he could somehow leave the failed mission out of this, but he pressed on despite his feelings. "Our starting point is the doctor. Go back six months if you have to. Go over his coworkers, legally go over his finances and see if we can't trace anything back. They aren't stupid enough to leave such a glaring trail, so look for the less obvious stuff. See if he's gone on vacation. Possible visitors to his residence. I think they'd probably have someone do all of the in person stuff for them. Being seen could jeopardize their cover here. Check anything and everything you can think of. Call a meeting as soon as anything sticks out." He finished closing his tablet.
Everyone looked around and then pushed themselves back from the table, beginning to file out.
Steve just stood back watching them, y/n stopped in the doorway to give him a small smile of reassurance. Reassurance that she was ok with this.
He knew he couldn't just follow her around and make everything ok. They were both Avengers. She knew what she signed up for when she joined this team, and he wouldn't treat her like a child that needs constant supervision.
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He gathered his things and headed into his office. Pulling up the file on the Doctor. This man had been in bad dealings his entire career. Before he figured out this "Foutain of Youth" as they called it, he worked for the mafia. Changing faces so they could leave the country unseen and avoid jail time. He had leaved in nearly every state at one point or another before finally settling in Hawaii two years ago. Steve knew that this all started six months ago with the creation of the serum... What made him decide to attempt this? Was it his own humanity wanting to cling onto life as long as possible, or was he put up to it?
He had to spread the word of it via the black market?
Hydra probably had buyers on the market to alert them of things like this... maybe they could somehow track that to their mole?
By the time Steve looked at the time, his vision blurry from staring at his screen for too long, he realized that nearly six hours had passed. Cracking his knuckles, he pushed himself away from the desk. He'd allow himself to check on y/n just to see how she was doing in her own research.  Her office was at the end of the hallway, ramping on the door with his knuckles and he heard a small "in" before he pushed the door open.
She had documents splayed across her desk, a digital board with information crowding it, and a whiteboard filled with her own notes.
"Did you find anything?" She asked, drinking from what had to have been her fifth or sixth mug of coffee. "We already knew he worked for the mafia in his younger days... But what we didn't find in our cursory research on him before the mission was that he didn't only work sell on the black market. He ran an entire business on it." Steve answered, leaning against her doorframe. Y/n's eyes widened in surprise, "How did we miss that? We should have known that before the mission."
She responded, her voice frustrated and tired. "It's not like we had a lot of time before the drop. We got the most important information and didn't waste time before the attempted rescue. " He said, bitting his lip and instantly regretting the fact that he said "attempted".
Y/n dropped her head and stared down at her mug, "Yeah. I guess we could have gotten this information easier if we had them here to interrogate." "Y/n... I didn't mean -" "I found some information too," She said, deliberately cutting him off. "His wife would disappear every Monday and Friday. Over night. She'd go to an airport in the morning, fly out to LA, and be back by the next day."Where was she going?" "I don't know. She was picked by an SUV, and the plates were fake government plates that can't be tracked. But I know it has to be related." She said, pulling her hair into a frizzy messy bun. This was all beginning to sound much more organized than it had seemed in the beginning. Just what had they walked into?
"What do you know about the wife?" Steve asked, realizing that he knew little about her. Perhaps they had been foolish to assume that he was the only one involved here.
"So far, all I know is that her family had lots of secret political ties. Making backroom deals to get votes or lobbying for things that would benefit companies they had controlling stocks in. I'm going to dig into her personal life some more. Just give me time."I thought we were just going back six months." Steve commented, looking at the years posted on the board. "I think we need a total background to make any of this make sense." She replied, sitting back down to work. "Why don't we eat something and then get back to work?" Steve suggested. "I ate a protein bar, thanks." She answered dismissively.
Steve could see it in her eyes. She wasn't the cheerful and somewhat corky girl he loved to sing to the oldies with at the moment. She was slipping into the darkness with this and didn't want him by her side.
So he quietly slipped out of her office and made for the kitchen. He had to eat something before going back to the harsh glare of his screen. Why couldn't they do things like they did in his day? Radios, typewriters, maps, and chalkboards rarely gave people headaches.
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In the kitchen, he found Bucky chowing down on what looked like canned spaghetti. That was one thing that never changed about his old friend. He was a terrible cook.
Bucky stopped, his fork halfway to his mouth, and looked at him, "What?" Steve didn't know why, but the expression and his ruffled appearance made him laugh. "Did you come down here just to laugh at me, or are you here for a reason?" Buck asked, giving his usual cocky grin. "I came down for food. Laughing at you is just a bonus." Steve replied, heading over to the fridge to grab the fixings for a sub sandwhich.
A moment later, he was settling in across from Bucky, sliding his friend a beer.
"I hate computers." Steve grunted. "I think the issue is that computers know that we're actually dinosaurs, and they hate us."  Bucky scoffed jokingly.
After a moment of comfortable silence only broken by the sounds of them chewing and drinking, Steve asked, "Have you found anything?" "Well, my Forte isn't looking at papers and reports. You know this." "Is it because you can't read?" Steve asked with a smile. Buck looked at him, mouth agap and then said, "May I remind you what you thought fondue was?"
Bucky was seriously the only person on earth with whom Steve could make light of a serious situation. It helped with the stress and surprisingly made tough situations easier.
"*anways* I decided instead to review surveillance tapes. Before we only looked at the ones the day of at his office. I checked everything I could check. Home security footage, his office, found out his wife has an office down town don't know what for tho... A lot of it was just rich dolls coming in to make themselves look plumper." Bucky said allowing himself to become his old self again. "And?" Steve asked seriously hopping that six hours of Bucky's research hadn't resulted in how many women got "work" done. "And. I made note of repeated visitors. " "I may be a dinosaur but I do know that people get more than one thing done at these places. How do you know they weren't just coming in for different procedures?" "Because I couldn't tell that they were actually getting work done. Sure they'd come in with a different hairstyle or something else to make them look different but they were the same people. Lawyer types." "Suspicious but they could have been lawyers for former unhappy clients." "Then why did they repeated show up at his wife's office too?" "They did?" "And their home. Tho they only did that in the last three weeks before they vanished, and they'd only leave things in the backyard." "They didn't know the Bons had a camera back there?" "Oh the Bons didn't." "Then how -?" "Oh... Their neighbors might have a camera that might have been able to catch a few glimpses of them."That's not legal -" "technically. Going through the Von's cameras wasn't either, but I don't see you complaining about that." "We need to have a talk about ethics." "Fine. Fine. I guess you didn't want to know that I gave the footage to Natasha and that she's running it as we speak. "  Steve sat back in his chair. This could be the break they needed, but he hated it when they allowed the line to become blury just to justify a means to an end.
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Back in her office, y/n's head began to hurt with the familiar ach she got when she worked for too long. A five minute break. Just to make the rounds and find out what some of the others knew, then it would be back to work for the rest of the night.
Tony walked out of his office just as she did. "Y/n you look a little worse for wear." He commented in his usual slightly oblivious fashion. "Thanks... I guess. What have you found?" "Well. I found out our mister Von's business is on the dark web. We figured that. But he's not alone in this business. He had partners." "Partners?" "Yep. Which could mean that they're in the same spot he was in and might be next on the Hydra kidnap list. Or will simply be working with em'. Don't know that yet. Heck, I don't know what they are yet. My big wigs don't get that far into things... But I'm gonna keep digging. Right now a cold shower and a red bull are call my name." He said swaggering down the hall. How that man could be so chill about everything was beyond her.
As more information piled in, this was becoming a very tangled spider's web. Wanda had found out that Mrs Von had traveled to Russa three times in the last six months. Doctor Bon had gone to China twice. Again, privately owned companies that kept everything low-key. They only found out because, unfortunately, you couldn't keep a passport check secret due to 9/11. Someone was pulling a lot of strings to keep this all a secret. Which told them that there was a bigger end game involved.
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A few hours later.
Everyone was tired.
Due to the nature of discovering the Mole is meant that they had to keep this low key. They couldn't just pass out the information and put all of their agents at SHEILD to work.
But there were some things that they couldn't do themselves without rasing suspicion.
"Friday," Steve said, he was hunched over, face resting in his hands in the counsel room. "Privatly request that agent Shannon Charter come up here please." He mumbled, fumbled for the handle of his 12th coffee cup. He didn't know why he was drinking it. Coffee had little to no affect on him. The others who had slowly found their way in here for the update meeting, were practically already asleep.
Nearly ten minutes later, Agent Charter stepped into the room. "Friday said you wanted me, Sir?" She asked. "Yes. Please sit down" He instructed.
"Is something wrong?" She asked, seeming puzzled by the fact that she was addressing all of the Avengers.
"Depends on how you look at it." Sam commented. He was the only one of them that wasn't half dead at the moment. He flourished in situations where most would be dead from exhaustion. And he wasn't even a super soldier.
Seeing as he was the one who was most with it at the present moment, he took lead on this meeting.
"Agent Charter, we have a situation." He said standing up and coming round the table to stand by the large monitor. "What sort of situation?" She asked. "There seems to be a mole here at shield." "A mole? How is that even possible? We have one of the highest security systems in the entire world." "We're not sure about the how yet. All we know is that there is. We don't want the good guys here to worry, we also don't want y'all to be completely in the dark. But at the moment, choosing who to entrust with this information is difficult. So it's boiled down to you and Colson. Obviously he's not here, so you'll be handling a sorta undercover investigation here within the ranks. We know it's a lot to ask." "No, no. To serve and protect is what I signed up for when I joined up. That applies to the organization that I serve." She said, her eyes quickly darting to Steve and then back. Most likely didn't even notice it.
Everyone had suspected that Shannon and Steve would end up together. Afterall, she was the great niece of the woman he was in love with back in the 40s. They all figured they'd just fall in sync with each other. But it turns out that having things in common, worked more to sway the Captain's heart far more than being related to Peggy.
Wanda, who was friends with Shannon, seemed to believe that the lady was fine with the fact that Golden Boy hadn't fallen for her. Sam and Bucky weren't so certain. Claiming that it was impossible for someone who had the "hots" for Steve Rogers to get over it so easily.
"Alright. Here is your file containing what we know so far. Read it and commit it to memory. We want a daily appraisal of anything you find. You will give these appraisals in person just to be safe." "Will do." She answered, grabbing the file and then excusing herself.
There would be no sleeping for the team tonight. At least no proper sleep. They all found themselves dozing at their desks or chosen perches for their work at one point or another. All of the rearsearch began melding together as they shared it onto their private starkspace (they had given up trying to make Tony not name all of his tech after himself a long time ago. Humble would never be one of his attributes.)
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Finally, at 3:30 in the morning, Natasha came storming into Steve's office, making him jump. "With all of your abilities, how is it possible to startle you?" She asked striaghtfaced. "I'm imagining since you're being sarcastic you've found something?" Steve asked, stretching his back. "I did. Buck's videos paid off. I only got partial faces, which is why it took so long, but I was able to figure out who they are." She said, casting her tablet's screen onto his monitors. "They're a group out of Russia. They're for hire for the right people. Not you're typical hitmen. These people are total blackops. Just the sort you'd want if you're trying to keep your name out of things." "If they're so good, how'd you even find them?" "Rogers you should know by now that not all of my friends are nessiarly good people." "Right. Well. Go on." "I was only able to track them to their last known hideout, which is an abandoned school about four hours from here by jet. It's a long shot. We may or may not get anything out of these guys. But one thing is for sure, they're prepared. We're walking into one hell of a fight."
"Nat. Tell the team to assemble." Steve ordered, standing up and leaving his office before she had a chance to answer him.
Seeing the state y/n had fallen into earlier concerned him. The only time she had left her office was for the end of day meeting. Eyes glazed over and an expression that told him she was present in body only, her mind gone somewhere else.
Checking with Friday the few times he did (doing do at all made him feel terrible. Was he spying? Didn't he trust her? But his concern for her pushed such thoughts aside. Besides, he only checked once or twice) told him that she had only repeatedly refilled her coffee mug, refusing Friday's requests that she hydrate and only consuming protein bars.
Wanda had popped in to tell him that Y/n had also refused to eat dinner. Wanda had such a motherly nature even tho she was younger than everyone else here.
All of this told him that their little moment this morning or yesterday morning rather, was really just the calm before the storm.
This rabbit hole was consuming her. He had been told when she joined the Avengers that due to her powers, she had heightened emotions and felt things on a level that was different from your average person.
However, in his mind, it hadn't been an issue before (of anything it made her more endearing). Not until this short little rescue mission blew up into a James Bond level spy thriller. Now, as he made a very slow walk to her office, he had a hole burning in his stomach.
He had been mulling this over since he saw her in her office this morning and became certain it was the right thing to do during the meeting.
He'd have to act as Captain America and not as Steve Rogers.
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Knocking on the door, all he got was a grunt, which he supposed meant "come in," so he went in. She sat in the middle of the floor, completely surrounded on all sides by papers.
It was like a fairy ring but with research papers instead of mushrooms.
Her laptop was in her lap, tablet laying next to her, and another smaller white board sat in front of her. He knew her method was to write everything out so she could "see her thoughts," but this seemed extreme. 
How could she be in so deep after such a short amount of time?
"Y/n? We need to talk. Nat found something." "What?" She asked, not looking up from her own work. "A location. Seems that some Russian agents for hire were some sort of go-between or something. We're not really sure what their involvement is yet." "Where are they?" She gasped, standing up and dropping her laptop in the process.
This frantic behavior only cemented in Steve's mind that he was right in doing what he was about to do. She was in a very bad headspace at the moment.
"I can't tell you that." He said, dropping her gaze for a moment. " "What? Why can't you tell me?" She asked genuinely, confused. Steve sighed and then looked her in the eye, trying to convey his reasoning before answering. "Because you're not coming."
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Tags: @nekoannie-chan
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