Eggs do not exist. There is no such thing. It was made up by white redditors
Oh gosh, you're right! There's nobody in existence right now who currently identifies as cis but will come out as trans later, because trans ppl all spring into existence fully-formed from pure nothingness, like Aphrodite from seafoam
bcs as long as i ignore its existence, then the gaang will forever exist in their happy ending state
toph became a cop??? yeah right good one. wdym she met the next avatar and called her twinkletoes bcs she recognised her dead friend and everyone cried?
there is no next avatar, aang is alive and well, he and katara are kissing on a balcony in ba sing se right now???
katara outlived both aang and sokka? and shes old and met the next avatar? i already told you aangs not dead what are you talking about
and while we re at it how could she outlive sokka if hes alive and well hm? sokka died young? ok but no he didnt ❤️
uncle iroh is dead and zuko is an old man? have you been hitting the cactus juice again???? zuko has just become the fire lord and iroh has a his own teashop i saw him last week
a list of things matt jackson could be doing on bte to appeal to tumblr if he was serious about it
for legal reasons this is a joke and if anyone links it to him i will delete it so fast
do the coming out of the shower in a bath towel setup again but instead of panning up with a lingering shot of his feet (wrong website we're not feet fetishists??) instead have him stare into the camera with a smirk as he toys with the edge of the towel only for his face to drop and he says coldly "you don't deserve it," and walk away.
fail more at skateboarding tricks. absolutely wipe out. i want to see him fall on his ass nine-hundred times while attempting to stay on it for ten seconds. i want this segment to go on twice as long as the colt on the street segments
per @orange-catsidy, bounce on a trampoline while eating a popsicle
cradle the smallest possible baby in his powerful juicy arms. he should coo at it softly while saying something sweet about his kids growing up. after five minutes, the baby should spit up on him.
make more men backstage rub tanning spray on his bicep. make it a challenge, he flexes while the contestant has to keep rubbing it in while matt says things like, "you like that, don't you. you're into this, you freak. you missed a spot".
bring back the hair brushing segments. add in blow-drying and braiding. regular hair segments.
a regular segment where matt puts on a women's article of clothing a la the cracker barrel shirt, culiminating in a segment where he goes to put on his gear but it's britt/penelope/toni's tops. oopsies!
matt slowly takes off his shirt by crossing his hands at the hem and drawing the shirt slowly up over his head before saying "i'm a luxury few can afford"
force matt to play a game where someone names a important figure we all learned about in history class OR a current important figure who has been important in any field for the last 5-10 years. in either case, the person should be so well-known and significant that literally anyone off the street would be able to identify why that person is significant. every time matt gets one wrong, he gets a bucket of ice water dumped on his head. within 30 seconds of playing this game, he's wet and shivering and pathetic. he begs to be allowed to stop. brandon says, "matt, who are the wright brothers?" and matt says "weren't they in wcw????" and then gets iced again.