#i did watch a bunch of movies that made me happy :3

[viennakarma]

Everything I Wanted II.

LESTAPPEN X READER (PART 2)

Summary: Your journey to become a Motorsport legend wasn't easy, especially when your path clashed with your greatest rivals, Max Verstappen and Charles Leclerc.

Word count: 8.9k

Tags: Driver reader, mentions of crash, angst, abusive parent, daddy issues, trust issues, character death (not reader), cursing, strong rivalry, misogyny in motorsport, invasive media, aggressive fans, reader suffers with cyberbullying and hate, smut, female reader, +18, unprotected sex, voyeurism, exhibtionism, edging, filthy, porn with plot, queer! everyone, polyamory lestappen, bit of dirty talking, pet names, not beta read

Relationships: Lestappen x Reader

Mentor!Kimi Raikkonen x Reader

Sebastian Vettel, Fernando Alonso, Lewis Hamilton x Platonic!Reader

Notes: this is full of motorsport categories inaccuracies, just go with the vibes please. There are a few inaccuracies regarding other drivers' lives, but they are just to fit the story. This chapter is very angsty and none of it is an attack at the drivers nor their fans and personalities, please.

I know I KNOW, this got out of hand, AGAIN. I promise next part (and hopefully last) is more focused on the romance, and the happy ending reader deserves.

Find me on Twitter!

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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

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You spent Christmas with your mom, sharing a lot of presents and watching a bunch of stupid Christmas movies. New Year’s was now a tradition to spend with the Raikkonen Family, joined with the closest friends for a little get together. It was a good opportunity to reconnect with Kimi’s kids who missed you a lot during the season.

Charles never contacted you during winter break, which you were sure was the best after that mistake. You hated each other too much and the only thing that could come out of that was toxicity from the both of you. You refused to even acknowledge what had happened and its implications, that wouldn’t and couldn’t mean anything.

During the pre-season testing in Bahrain, you and Charles were back to whatever your relationship was before that one lapse in judgment months before.

Nobody noticed anything.

One day, Fernando pulled you aside for a little chat. You two sat side by side on big moving boxes, sipping on energy drinks.

“There’s something I have been wanting to talk to you about since last year,” he started, seemingly pensive, distant.

“Is everything ok?”

“Yeah, yeah. Remember after we first met when you asked me if I had advice for you regarding your career?” Fernando said, and you remembered.

Right after you had gotten close, you asked him for advice, you always did, especially about racing. But one day, you were chatting about his career, and you asked if had any lessons you should never forget. He had laughed joking about read all your contracts then asking if you were calling him old, but he said if he ever had any advice, he would tell you.

“Yes, have you got my answer yet?”

“Sí, Nena,” he paused, looking deep into your eyes, “enjoy.”

You frowned and he saw the confusion on your face.

“I see much of my younger self in you, you know? The same passion, this fiery desire to win, your goal for the championship, to conquer the world…” Fernando paused, looking up to the clear sky, the sunset coming around, “And I did. But I wish I had enjoyed it more. I should’ve gone to parties, I should’ve visited the countries we went to and tried the food, I should’ve made more friends, I should’ve had more lovers… I was so focused on winning, on getting my hands on that trophy of champion of the world, that I missed out on a lot.”

You felt your eyes tear up, and you wiped it before the tears came down. Putting your hand on his shoulder, you smiled at him.

“It’s such an honor race with you. And an even greater honor to have you as a friend, Nano” you whispered to him, you two laughed as his eyes watered too, and slapping his shoulder you laughed, “don’t make me cry, you old softie!”

You took his advice to your heart.

You went to the parties, you met new people, and that’s how after two entire seasons, you managed to befriend Lando, your teammate. You two had to open your hearts a little bit and meet in the middle. Which proved to be great, the whole team loved the change in your dynamic. You still weren’t besties, but you were close colleagues, and that was great. Everyone noticed the change and it reflected on how you started racing as a team instead of individually.

The car was even better than the year before, and the first race of the season you got a promising win.

That win, Lando’s pestering, and Fernando’s advice was how you ended up in a party after the Bahrain GP. Wearing a skimpy mini dress and 5 tequila shots deep, swaying your hips to the sound of Rihanna. You were dancing and singing with Lando and a few of his friends, loudly screaming the lyrics.

When it was way too hot for you, you grabbed a water bottle and beelined your way out of the crowded dance floor. You found a corner of the VIP section where the AC seemed to be working better, and as you stumbled inside the small space, you ran chest first into someone.

“Sorry,” you said, taking a step back and pressing your back against the cold wall.

“Enjoying your win?” Your head snapped up as you recognised Max’s voice. You had run into him.

Lando had mentioned inviting Max to the party, he had gotten a P2 in the race but you doubted he would go to a party he knew you would attend. You were obviously wrong.

“You know I am,” the victory was so good that nothing could ruin your mood.

“Well, then enjoy it. I’m coming for the win, again.” He warned you but his voice was devoid of anything, just sounded like he was casually telling you about the weather. But you knew that he was implying his championship the year before, rubbing it in your face.

“Don’t be so confident, Max,” you finished your water, smirking at him, “Enjoy the view of my rear!”

You flipped your hair, feeling his eyes on you the whole walk back to the dance floor.

And yet-

Somehow-

You ended up back at that small corner, dancing with your body pressed between Verstappen’s and the wall, his hand holding your jaw firmly, you rolled your hips against him, feeling the way his body responded to yours.

“We can’t-” he said to you, still, his eyes hadn’t left your lips, like he was so oh so tempted.

You rolled your eyes, annoyed. Sober you would never do that, but then, that was a problem for later. Checking to see if anyone was looking at you, you hooked a finger around his waistband and pulled him towards the bathroom.

As soon as the two of you were inside, you locked the door and Max pressed your back against the door, latching his lips to yours in a very desperate open mouthed kiss. You hugged his shoulders, opening your lips to him, his hands went down your sides and he grabbed your ass, pulling you into him. But that wasn’t enough, so he held your thighs and pulled up, carrying you. You locked your legs around his waist, and he stopped the kiss to walk, sitting you on the marble side of the sink, still between your legs, forcing his bulge against your panties, and eliciting a moan from you.

He took a half step back to hike your dress up, palming your cunt over your panties feeling the dampness of it, he tried to press his hand under your panties, but the lacy fabric didn’t leave much space, so he simply tore the bottom of them, exposing you to him. He just ran a finger over your slit, collecting your wetness for a brief moment before pushing a finger into you. Max watched your face with concentration, studying your body’s responses. Your hips shaking at the movement of his finger, and when the second one joined, you got louder. He curled his fingers up, his thumb pressing your clit, and you had to use both hands to hold onto him, your head lolling back against the mirror.

“Take it and shut the fuck up,” he grunted between clenched teeth.

He was pressing your insides so good, the slick sound of his fingers going in and out, his heavy breathing, the loud music outside and his laser focused fingers had you coming against his fingers in minutes. When he noticed you close, cunt spasming against his fingers, he pressed the other hand against your mouth, covering your moans when your toes curled and you orgasmed on his hand.

Max barely let you recover as he opened his jeans and stroked himself twice before pushing his cock into you in one swift move, making you gasp at the sudden intrusion.

“That’s what you wanted, right? Fucking teasing me all night,” He pushed particularly hard, hitting your g-spot, making you see stars, “you’re a fucking menace, y’know that? Fucking insufferable,” then his words became a mumbling of something dutch you couldn’t quite catch anymore with the way his hips snapped against yours, taking all your focus away and turning you into a mess of moaning.

Max fucked like he raced, focused and relentless, brutal. He hugged you with one arm around your waist to keep you in place and the other held you face, tilting your head so he could kiss you, or whatever that mess of saliva, tongues and teeth was. Your orgasm crashed through you unexpectedly, and you only hugged him tighter, pressing your face against his chest, biting into his skin through the fabric of his T-shirt to silence yourself, your teeth sinking into him was enough to send him also over the edge, coming with moans against your ear.

That night, you went home with shaking legs and an incoming headache, as Max left with the scraps of your panties in his pocket and your lipstick stain on his shirt, above his chest.

It was the seventh race of the year, Monaco, and you absolutely hated that specific track since your years of F2. During your two first years in F1 you had awful experiences, the rookie year you DNF and the year prior you had barely managed a P7. You were trying to keep your head up, be hopeful that you could at least try for top 5.

But since you couldn’t catch a fucking break, an old video of your teenage years resurfaced.

You were walking to your first round of interviews when Amanda, your PR manager, started walking by your side.

“There’s something. An old video of a karting competition resurfaced, where Max and Charles pretty much call you stupid,” Amanda was always direct, you could give it to her.

“Let me see the video” you asked, offering your hand for her phone.

“We don’t have time, but everyone will ask you about it. I need you to be the bigger person and act like it isn’t important, yes? They will try to taunt you and get a bad reaction from you, I need you to dismiss everything they throw at you. Agreed?”

You sighed. You knew the stuff from your teens were pretty bad, you rarely badmouthed Max or Charles, but they always felt threatened by you, so there were lots of instances they attacked you. Honestly, you just didn’t want to come out of this victimized. So as you entered the first round of interviews, you decided you were going to downplay anything they asked you.

“Y/N, have you seen the footage of you, Max and Charles from your teenage years that resurfaced recently?”

“No, uh, I haven’t.”

Someone pushed an iPad in your hands because of course, they wanted a live reaction from you. You pressed play, reading the subtitles someone put on the video. It was an amateur recording like a post race interview made by another teenage guy. First as Max walked out of the track, the guy asked what he thought of your win.

“It was luck, she’s not bright enough to think of a strategy,” Max said, walking away, clearly pissed having lost to you.

There was a cut and the camera was turned on again when Charles walked toward the guy asking the question. He repeated exactly the same question he had asked Max.

“Y/N, I don’t worry about her long term. She’s not going very far in this sport anyway,” Charles shrugged, seemingly unbothered.

As the video cut again, it showed your face, you remembered when that was. You were 14, and your dad had dropped you a few months earlier, so you were working your ass off balancing school, work and karting.

“Hey, Y/N. What do you think of your result today?”

“Uh, I tried a new strategy I learned earlier this week, thankfully it worked in my favor,” teen-You dried your forehead with your coat’s sleeve.

“What are your plans for this competition?”

“Well, I hope to be good enough to get into F4 next year, and work my way up into Formula 1,” you smiled softly and walked away after a quick bye.

The video ended and you still spent a few seconds staring at the black screen of the iPad. This interview didn’t come to your mind in more than a decade, but it was nice seeing how you made your 14-year-old dream come true.

“So, what do you say?” The reporter extended his mic to you.

“I guess I proved them wrong, right?” You giggled a little, “don’t take it to heart, really. We were all hormonal teenagers, I’m sure if someone digs, they will find a video of me saying the same stuff about them,” you shrugged, despite that being a lie, sounded dismissive enough.

“So it doesn’t upset you?” The reporter insisted, and you knew he wanted a scandal you weren’t willing to give.

“Of course not. I’ve always known my worth, and I’m P1 in the driver’s championship as of right now. So I don’t really care.”

The interviewers soon let the video go, when they realized you didn’t care about it. You weren’t sure if anyone would also approach Charles or Max with questions about the same video, but you couldn’t care less, you wanted to avoid drama for the time being so you could focus on the championship instead of this bullshit.

On the morning of qualifying, you were in your room, trying to meditate and clear your mind, when a knock interrupted you.

“Guys, I asked for twenty minutes so I could-” you stop yourself when you realize it isn’t anyone from your team, but it’s Max and Charles, “what are you doing here?”

“We came to apologize about the video,” Max started.

“Did your PR teams send you here?” You looked around, trying to catch a camera or even a phone recording.

“No uh, we realized we were very immature with you, and this video is just proof of how silly that was,” Charles sighed, seemingly embarrassed.

“You don’t need to apologize, I mean- the two of you really had it out for me, you called me dumb a lot,” you pointed to Max, then Charles, “and you called me ugly countless times. I don’t know why it would make any difference now.”

You were just so used to being defensive, to protect yourself from hatred you found it hard to believe them, to give them a chance to apologize because you couldn’t believe it to be genuine.

“Even if you don’t take it, or believe it, I would like to apologize for that behavior. I was just a stupid kid.” Max looked deep into your eyes, which could’ve made you uncomfortable if he didn’t seem so honest.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N. It was too idiotic to be like that to you, growing up. You were just a kid too.” Charles added.

You understood where that apology came from, it was stupid and embarrassing for all three of you this teenage rivalry when you all were barely mid racers back in the day. Sighing, you looked around, dropping your façade for a second, allowing yourself to display the same honesty they showed you.

It was hard and required some sort of deprogramming because you could only see them as rivals, like your dad had whispered in your brain so many times before, like their actions towards you had cemented dad’s words. They had said things that were on your mind for so long, that had made you defensive and deflective.

“Look, don’t worry about it. Whatever happened back then, it’s water under the bridge,” You shifted on your feet. As they started walking away, you added “this doesn’t mean we’re friends.”

They only nodded before leaving. Your routine went back to the same, and as the next scandal went on, people forgot about the silly video, but a very specific part of the fans started shipping you and both your rivals.

The rivalry never died down though.

Then, out of nowhere, Sebastian pulled you and Lewis aside to a conversation. Then he told you that he was going to retire by the end of the season. It was the first time the two of them saw you cry, and Sebastian hugged you tight, shushing your crying softly.

“I’m so sorry, I’m sorry,” he whispered, petting your head.

“No, don’t apologize,” you let him go, drying your face, “I have listened to you talking countless times about how you missed the kids. Don’t apologize for choosing to be a great dad. I know Hanna and the kiddos will be ecstatic.”

“You two are my closest friends here, that’s why I wanted to tell you first, before my announcement.”

“Thank you, Seb,” you said, eyes still watering, “I’m going to miss having you around.”

“Thank you for telling us beforehand,” Lewis said, also visibly emotional.

The season was writing itself to be just as close as the year prior, but now you were slightly better at keeping the lead most.

That is until Zandvoort. This GP was always a nightmare to you, because it was full of Max’s fans, and they absolutely hated you for being his rival. You had been booed when you were on the podium the year before, so now, you and Amanda decided it was best to keep your head down during the whole week. Not out of shame, but more of a matter of safety, you didn’t know how far the crowd could go in antagonizing you. When you were booed the other year, Max had said it was part of the sport and dismissed the conversation.

The morning of free practice, you went into the paddock very low-key and kept to yourself. You arrived with a little cup of coffee and got mentally ready for a hostile environment the whole weekend. That, until you spotted a small group of people dressed with your color and wearing your number, waving wildly to you.

In a spur of the moment decision, you went there, getting close to the barrier to sign a few caps and take a few selfies. In retrospect, you knew you shouldn’t have done that, especially with only two bodyguards accompanying you.

You were finishing chatting with your fans when you felt something heavy hit the side of your head and the impact made you stumble backwards, you were confused as you heard the screams and felt one of the bodyguards pull you back, as the other jumped the barrier and started running. You patted your temple and something wet and sticky was dripping down the side of your face. You stared at the small group of fans who were looking at you horrified. Staring at the hand, you saw the red staining your fingers, and as the bodyguard kept pulling you away to somewhere safer, the thing flowed even more and  got into your left eye.

You wondered if it was blood as you touched your temple but felt nothing, not a gash nor small cut. You covered your left eye as it started to sting from what you supposed smelt like paint.

“Hey, hey, what happened? You’re bleeding!” Max jogged up to you.

“Not blood, just paint” you muttered, trying to use your coat to clean your face.

“Someone threw a paint ball at her,” the bodyguard said.

“Fuck, it’s burning!” You exclaimed, feeling tears in your left eye.

“Come here, the RB hospitality is close,” Max said, holding your wrist, he stopped shortly pointing to your bodyguard, “and you, sort this and find the person who did it.”

You let yourself be taken by Max into the RB territory, the burning so annoying that you rather take whatever solution he was thinking of. He held your waist and placed you sitting on a sink, and then you felt water streaming down your face.

“Stay still,” Max commanded, holding a hose over your head, pouring water down your face, “now blink slowly, let the water wash it,” his voice soft as you did what he told you to. Slowly but surely, it washed the paint away, relieving your left eye from the stinging. Max held the hose up and held your chin, tilting your head up so he could check your eye, still letting the water stream down your face.

You took a few minutes, breathing and regulating your heartbeat from that scare, trying to come back to normal and understand fully what was going on. From what you gathered, you were chatting with fans when someone else came and threw something with paint at you.

“How does it feel?” 

“It’s better, already stopped burning,” you told him, feeling your heart miss a beat at the close proximity you found yourself to him. You were sitting on a sink, Max standing between your legs pretty much like you two had done months before for entirely different reasons.

“Open your eye, let me see,” he asked, and you tried to blink it open, “can you see?”

“It’s a little blurry but I believe it will get better,” you explained, and he didn’t let go of your chin. Suddenly, he covered your right eye with the other hand, leaving you only with your left eye sight.

“How many fingers am I putting up?” He showed it to your left eye. The vision was a bit blurry but you still could make out the shapes very clearly.

“Four, Max. It’s just a little bit blurry, probably will get better in a few minutes” you sounded annoyed, you tried to move but he pressed a hand against your waist, keeping you in place.

“Now, what happened?” He asked finally. You ignored the proximity, and the hand still on your body.

“We’re in Zandvoort, that’s what happened,” you shrugged, really annoyed about it.

“What do you mean?” He was visibly confused. You scoffed because you knew it wasn’t something he didn’t know, since the year before he has dismissed the importance of how hostile people were to you.

“We’re massively surrounded by your fans, Max.”

“I don’t understand.”

“They hate me because you hate me, and they think because you hate me they’re justified in their hostility towards me,” You explained, with a sigh, you pushed away from Max, “this GP has been like this for me ever since Rookie year.”

“I don’t hate you,” he said, brows furrowed.

“You do. And they do too,” you pointed down at the paint that had also stained your shirt as proof.

“I don’t,” he insisted and you rolled your eyes, jumping off the sink, but he didn’t give you space, which made you stand chest to chest with him, “I promise.”

You stared at him, breathless. That wasn’t part of the game you played, being kind, sounding worried and making promises. None of that was part of this whole rivalry. Pushing his chest, you tried getting away but he caged you against the sink, body flush against yours.

“Do you believe me?” He asked and your eyes fell to his lips, and you allowed yourself to remember the desperate and chaotic kisses you had shared in a dimly lit bathroom, “I don’t support any of this behavior.”

You heard voices and steps approaching, which made you finally push him away, walking towards the door. Whatever little magic had been happening between those walls was undone the moment you remembered none of that would’ve happened if he had politely put a stop to it earlier.

“It’s part of the sport and I have to deal with it, right?” You returned the very same words he had said about you when you were booed by the crowd the year prior.

As you opened the door, you were faced with Sebastian. He stopped, taking you in and then pulling you in a hug.

“Are you ok? We just heard what happened!” He murmured, guiding you out of the bathroom. He held your shoulders and looked at your face, checking how your left eye was still a little red, “we should take you to see a doctor, come on.”

Lewis soon arrived at the entrance of the RBR station, he warned about the reporters crowding outside, waiting for a glimpse of you after the attack. The British man gave you a Mercedes coat so you put it over your head and avoid the cameras waiting outside. With the bodyguards and both Lewis and Sebastian leading you away, you ended up at the medical center, and after a quick examination, the doctor gave you eye drops to put throughout the day.

Your Principal suggested you sit the FP1 out, letting the reserve driver take your place while you recovered. By the middle of FP1, your eyesight was 100% and you went to get ready for FP2. The whole day you felt like everyone was being extra careful, tiptoeing around you. You hated feeling like you were being pitied, so when the inevitable round of interviews came, you knew what you had to do.

“We heard about your incident earlier today, how are you feeling about it?” Someone asked.

“I’m pretty upset, to be honest. Formula 1 is a sport loved around the whole world, and the paddock overall is supposed to be a safe place not only for the fans, but also the workers and drivers. What happened today is unacceptable and could’ve been much worse. I’m voicing my dissatisfaction and I intend to, through legal means, take this complaint to the FIA.”

Later that night, as you laid awake on your bed, scrolling through the repercussions of the day, you stopped when you saw a snippet of Max's interview.

“What happened today was dangerous and unacceptable, I don’t support this behavior and I stand with Y/N,” that was all he said, but Max usually was a man of few words, always knowing when it was enough.

You knew he should’ve voiced that much earlier in your career, specifically after the booing the year before, but still- He also could have opted to not say anything at all, and he didn’t.

Amanda also sent you the news that the fan who had attacked you was found and banned for life from Formula 1.

After calling Sebastian, you managed to get ahold of Max’s phone number and texted him a simple message.

Thank you. Twice. - Lioness

The text went to read almost immediately, and the three dots appeared from his side of the screen. You wait, and wait, and wait. And then the dots disappeared, and an answer never came.

After a solid P2 that weekend in Zandvoort, you went home for the summer break. You and your mom had planned to go to Monaco for a little while since you were planning on buying a place there. From there, you and your mom would go all around the French Riviera to enjoy the sea and spend a few days in a spa resort. Then, you would go back home and relax before going to Ibiza for a weekend to meet Lando and his friends to enjoy some partying.

Everything went according to plan, but one day when you came back home after the trip to the French Riviera, you found your mom passed out on the living room floor.

You called an ambulance, quickly taking her into the hospital. Everything was a blur, the tests and scans, your mom still unconscious on a hospital bed, and the results. The results that pulled the floor from under your feet.

Your brain couldn’t fully compute what was said. Cancer Stage 4. Surgery. Palliative care.

The world was muted around you as you sat on a chair in the waiting room, hands shaking when you tried to understand what was happening. You somehow ended up calling the one other person you trust.

“Y/N? What happened?”

“I don’t understand- she just- she just passed out and I thought- but- but they said- palliative care” you try to come up with words.

“Talk to me. Are you sick?” Kimi’s voice is so focused and a little soothing.

“It’s mom”

“Send your location, I’m going there,” that’s all he said.

Waiting for Kimi gave you some sense of purpose, because it’s Kimi. He could fix anything. He fixed your life when you were 14, he can do it again. He would get there and find a way to help. Your mind got so clouded when the word cancer was thrown in the conversation, that you probably missed the part about treatments and- and surgery and stuff.

In your mother’s room there was a comfortable couch where you tried to settle to sleep, but you only spent countless hours awake. You hoped to see the doctor again to try and get him to explain everything for a second time.

You wished you were smart and quick, but no, you just sat there holding onto the hope that Kimi had a way to fix this.

Kimi arrived early the next morning, knocking on the door before entering. You stood up, hugging him tight.

“What happened?”

“It’s pancreatic cancer, they said. We need to see more about surgery and- and treatments.”

You and Kimi found the doctor, who explained again, and in that moment you finally understood what he meant the first time around. She was in a late stage of pancreatic cancer, which was usually a very difficult illness to find before it is too late, due to the placement of the organ in the body and late symptoms. The only options were either to try a very risky surgery and chemo so she could extend her life for around 8 months to a year. Or she could go home to live her last few months the way she wanted.

You begged and cried and bribed and offered every single solution your brain could muster to try and save her. Kimi held you when you fell to the floor, sobbing.

When your mom woke up and you and Kimi told her the diagnosis, she cried too, sobbing in your arms as you tried to hold it together for her sake. It took a couple of days for her to choose to go home. The two of you spent the last days of summer break traveling around the world a bit more, visiting temples and statues, and seeing nature and everything good the world had to offer, going to places motorsport hadn’t taken you to.

Your mom went to every race week from there on, even when she felt especially weak, even when you had to hire a full time medical team for her. 

Your focus on the season was solely on the moment between entering the car and leaving the car. You still managed to race like you’ve done before, calm and controlled, with the help of your engineers and team, you still could put the car where you wanted it, paving your way for a solid world championship that year. It was like your brain was seeing racing as the one thing in your life you had full control over, so sometimes you even felt like you and the car were one.

You didn’t tell anyone about her. Though every driver noticed how distant you were, even Charles and Max and the ones that weren’t very close to you noticed how you were only fulfilling your obligations and leaving, you weren’t even celebrating your wins, leaving the fastest you could after a race.

The Singapore GP was tough for you, having to leave your mom home alone with the medical staff and a couple of friends from her book club, since she wasn’t strong enough to travel anymore. Your attention was failing all throughout media day and free practices. Qualifying was shit compared to your performance the rest of the season.

In Q3 you did a reasonable sector 1 and 2 but you messed up sector 3 completely. It was a complete accident when you got in the way of a Ferrari when he was doing his fast lap, and you ended up messing his qualy too. Jace let you know it was none other than Charles Leclerc, who was setting the pace for a pole position. Out of 19 drivers, you had to ruin his lap. In the end, Max got pole, Charles qualified P3 and you qualified P5.

You went through the motions during the post qualifying press. You were about to leave after debriefing, when Charles Leclerc found you on the way to the parking lot. You pulled your coat tighter around yourself protectively as he walked up to you. You were hoping to escape his fury at least until after the race the next day. Before he could even get a word in, you started.

“Look, I know I messed up your pole. I know you won’t believe me, but it wasn’t intentional. I really thought there was no one doing fast laps on the track, I thought everyone was either still doing out laps or in the pits, so when you-”

“Calm down, breathe,” he interrupted you, “I’m not here to fight.”

“No?” You frowned, confused with the kindness in his eyes.

“We know you’re going through something, and I’m sure I’m the last person you want to hear this from, but you’re not alone. And you should really consider talking with someone on the grid. They’re all- we’re all worried about you.”

The words felt alien coming from his mouth, but the gentleness was so comforting you felt a lump in your throat.

“Why do you think I’m not ok?” You muttered trying to sound confident, but your voice failed, betraying you.

“You’re skinny and you look sleep deprived for a few weeks now,” Charles said directly.

“Damn, thanks.”

“I don’t mean it like that, you know it,” he paused, putting both hands on his pockets, “have you been eating?” Your lack of response made him press further, “have you eaten today?”

You pressed your lips together, not wanting to answer that.

“Let’s go, I’ll drive you to the hotel, we’ll stop on the way to grab some food,” Charles gestured to his car, a few meters away. You stood there, shocked as he started walking away, then he stopped looking over his shoulder, “come on, I don’t have all the time in the world.”

As you sat in his Ferrari, Charles put music on and you didn’t do much talking, but it was tranquil. He called the restaurant to order take out on the way, and 30 minutes later he dropped you off at the hotel with a bag full of food.

“Thank you, Charles.” You whispered before leaving the car.

You ate the food while on a video call with your mom.

You recovered well during the race, finishing P2, behind Max and ahead of Charles.

Your mom passed away a few days after the Japanese Grand Prix, the one you had won and dedicated it to her from the top step of the podium, even if she wasn’t there, just watching from home. You went home and stayed with her, holding her hands and hugging her as much as you could.

Some part of you knew she was somehow fighting, because she had promised you the year before she would be there when you became world champion. You could see she was hoping to make it to the end of the season, but you also knew she wouldn’t, and you rather she didn’t have to endure any more pain just for your sake.

“You don’t need to fight anymore, ma,” you whispered before she went to sleep, “you raised a strong woman, too. I will see you on the other side, ok? You can rest now, I love you.”

“I’m so proud of you, honey. I love you to the moon and back.”

You made it through her small funeral, following what she had written down before passing. An intimate funeral, full of flowers and a toast to her life. You cried the whole time, with Kimi and Minttu taking turns at comforting you as they could. Coming back to an empty home smelling of cleaning products made you almost lose your mind, and the sight of you in such despair was enough for Kimi to convince you to stay with them until you had to travel for the next race, in almost seven days.

The days passed in a crying blur, you let part of your team know about your mom’s passing. Only Amanda, Jace and your Principal. Jace tried to convince you to take a break and not go to the next race in Austin, but you quickly shut it off. Not only because racing was the one thing keeping you sane amidst the chaos, but because you were so close to the championship, and  it was still close competition with Max and Charles, so you couldn’t afford to lose a race and the points that could come with it.

You had to honor your mom in some way.

That’s how you ended up on a plane to Austin with Kimi and Amanda. You knew Kimi had convinced you to let him go because he was sure you’d have a mental breakdown anytime along the weekend, but deep down you appreciated the company. Arriving there, Jace was the first to hug you and whisper his condolences, as well as your TP too.

You survived the entire weekend without breaking down crying in public, but that was your worst race in a few months, the first time out of a podium since Spa. You ended up P5, which luckily wasn’t too bad because Max finished P4 which you were grateful for as he was the one who was P2 in the driver’s championship close behind you.

After that week, you packed your stuff and moved to the new condo in Monaco you had bought during summer break. Despite loving your mom to pieces, you couldn’t manage to live alone in the house you bought for her a couple of years before, it was lonely and it hit you with overwhelming waves of sadness all the time. You distracted yourself a lot with buying furniture and decorations for the new place, and discovering Monte Carlo in a whole new way. The one comfort in all that, was knowing your mom wasn’t suffering anymore.

Then you went straight to Mexico for the next Grand Prix, this time, Kimi left you because he had to come home to Minttu and the kids. Amanda had been such a support for you, that you knew you had to give her something special for the holidays, out of gratitude.

Everything was going as expected until the press conference. You were there with Charles, Max, Sebastian and Lando. You suspected they were putting you always in the same group as Max and Charles because, as the season nearing the end, only three races left, they were your close competition.

While someone asked something of Charles, you were whispering with Sebastian, chatting about Mexican foods you wanted to try after the race. Then, something bizarre happened, and phones started to ping all around the room, between reporters, cameras and everyone else started checking their phones. It seemed like something out of a black mirror nightmare.

You reached for your phone but then remembered you left it to charge in your room.

“This question is for Y/N,” a reporter asked, reading something from his phone, “there’s a new article that just came out saying your mom passed away a couple of weeks ago, is that true?”

Your blood ran cold, and every sound felt like it was muted inside the room. Wide eyed, you searched for Amanda, who was somewhere on the opposite side of the room, and when you found her, she was pale. Then, there was a cacophony of voices and cameras and questions, that made you suddenly overwhelmed.

Swallowing, trying to reassess, you found Sebastian already standing, holding your shoulders. Looking around you noticed how the other three drivers had stood up, making some sort of shield around you, protecting you from the cameras and reporters swarming around. 

“We can go, ok? Come on,” Sebastian was saying when Amanda caught up to you, leaning beside Sebastian.

“We can leave, right now,” she said, holding your hand.

Still a little confused, you nodded and let them both guide you back to your room.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry for your loss,” Sebastian hugged you, running his hands on your back for comfort.

“How- how did they find out?” You ask Amanda.

“An article came out, I’m not sure. Someone was probably digging into your life, but don’t worry, I put the team on it already.”

“How do- how we diffuse this? How do we proceed? We need to address this, right?” You started blabbering, trying to wrap your head around everything.

“That was very disrespectful of them to ask like that!” Sebastian exclaimed, making you two jolt.

“We’ll do whatever you’re comfortable with. Do you want me to release a note asking for privacy?” Amanda suggested.

“Can I write something and then run it by you?” You asked, she only nodded.

After a moment, both Amanda and Seb left you alone as you typed a note on your phone. You rewrote and deleted a few times before settling on something heartfelt and respectful but also, calling out the invasion of privacy.

My mom passed away a few days ago after battling with cancer for the past few months.

She had requested of me to keep it a secret until after the season was over, so I could mourn her without the weight of racing over my shoulders. 

But obviously someone went digging and disrespected not only one of her last wishes but also disrespected my grief and my right to privacy. I love my mom but I’ll not be answering any more questions about her illness or death, please respect me and respect her memory.

All the love, Y/N

Nobody asked anything over the weekend, but again, it felt like everyone was tiptoeing around you. As soon as you first saw Nano the next day, he held you tight for almost a minute whispering his condolences, and it made you almost cry again. Lewis also spared you a hug, saying if you ever needed anything, to contact him.

You survived that weekend, and decided to go straight to Brazil for the next GP instead of going back to Monaco. In São Paulo you mostly slept your worries and fears away. You had promised yourself to try and focus on the season only, to make your dream come true, to fulfill your mom’s promise in some way.

With Ferrari’s bad strategy in Mexico, they had ruined Charles’ chance at the championship. Now your only competition was Max and the Red Bull rocketship.

You rewatched the race a couple of times as you usually did, to try and catch any mistakes you or your team may have made, to fix it for the next one. But also to try and notice any weaknesses of your rivals, if it was something you could use in your own favor.

You noticed right away in the FP1 that your car wasn’t adhering to the track, you were losing balance and needed more force than usual to keep yourself in place. By FP2, you managed to control your car better, but that caused your tyres to wear off way more quickly.

Quali was one of the shittiest you’ve ever done in your career, taking you out in Q2 for the first time that year, placing you for a start at P12.

“Listen, we’ll do better tomorrow, ok?” Jace told you as soon as you entered the garage, seeing Max still out with a shot at pole position.

“Give me a few minutes to unwind, please,” you asked, dropping your helmet, balaclava and gloves at a nearby table.

You went straight to your room, searching for your phone. Immediately calling Kimi, you waited for him to pick up.

“I watched it,” he said first and foremost.

“If I do bad in the race tomorrow, and Max does well, then I’m gonna lose the championship, Kimi,” saying that out loud made you shiver in horror, “FUCK!” You screamed, kicking a chair.

“First of all, even if you did bad tomorrow, you’d still have a chance to fight for the championship in Abu Dhabi. You know that,” Kimi warned you as if he was scolding a little kid, “second of all, I never taught you this loser mindset. You’ll have to find a way to work around the problems in your car tomorrow.”

“Shit, I’m so fucked! How? How could I even-”

“Remember when I first met you? Your kart was with almost this same problem, yeah? Remember you got P2? You went ahead and fixed it. That’s what I need you to do tomorrow, don’t focus on what you can’t do, only focus on what you can do.”

“I’ll try my best.”

“No trying. Do it.”

After spending the entire night crafting plan A, B, C and Z with you strategists and engineers, you barely got any sleep, but you forced yourself to rest. In the morning, you went to the track early to meet with your team again, to run your strategies one more time, when you had an idea. You’d still follow the plans you had carefully crafted with the team, but you decided to make a Plan Star, as you had called. Interlagos didn’t have any safety car in the last two years, so it was dangerous to fully count on one. But your plan star consisted in the case of a safety car in this one specific window of laps, you’d go to the pits for hards, counting on everyone else being on old softs or mediums at that specific point in the race. But for it to work, you had to be the first of the front field to go in.

As the lights went out and you accelerated, you got already three positions up, landing in P9, and luckily, the points zone. Jace was worried in your ears, talking about the car and the tyres management. With controlled calm and Kimi’s voice in your head, you managed a few more positions in the first 14 laps, landing P7. You lost a bit of time there, since Nando was P6 and everyone knew how tough it always is to overtake him. But you eventually managed to get the position. Unfortunately, it was the moment you had to go to your first pitstop. Due to the problems in your car wearing off your tyres, you would have to go for a two-stop, which ended up costing you three positions again. But you were patient and you were rewarded when the other cars had to pit, which gave you back the four places you had lost.

The race you went on and you barely moved up or down from your P5, but you managed to concentrate.

Jace, on the other hand was sounding more and more worried about your second pit stop, about the difficulty in get closer to P4, about the P6 trying to enter DRS zone behind you, with your tyres wearing off, with the-

“Jace, I love you but please shut the fuck up, I know what to do,” you were praying for a miracle when suddenly, there was a yellow flag, and the safety car went out during the perfect window of laps, “fuck, Jace, this is plan star.”

“Copy,” he paused, his voice sounding secure, “Box, box.”

You changed into hards, no one else went to the pits, and the race restarted after three more laps. The safety car had closed the gap between you and the P4, which made you overtake him easily.

Jace was still keeping quiet to help your concentration, he only interrupted to warn you about overheating your tyres, and your velocity per lap compared to the next position. You started overtaking like a madwoman as much as your tyres allowed.

“That’s P1, Lioness,” Jace told you.

“Copy that.” You said with your voice shaken.

As you managed your P1, you went back to be aware of your surroundings, seeing a Red Bull right behind you, trying to overtake but you managed to hold position.

When you took the checkered flag, you sighed with relief, Kimi was right.

“Congratulations, Y/N! That’s a brilliant, brilliant win!” Jace’s voice was sounding shaken too.

“You’re crying, Jace?” You laughed softly.

“It’s an honor to tell you that you, Y/N Y/L/N, are a Formula 1 world champion!” Jace shouts, and behind him you can hear more people screaming.

“What? Jace you’re fucking with me!”

“No, Lioness, you’re the 2022 champion of the world!”

“But- but how? There’s one race left? And Max was right behind me!”

“No, Verstappen DNFed during that one yellow flag. Behind you was Perez.”

You made the calculations quickly in your head. Max was P2 in the championship, but this DNF meant no points, and even if he managed to win the last race in Abu Dhabi, he wouldn’t be able to equal you in points. So-

“OH MY GOD, oh my god!” You screamed your lungs out, feeling the tears streaming down into your balaclava, “Fuck yes! I’m Formula 1 World Champion! Thank you, thank you so much guys! Jace, holy shit, I’m the champion!”

“You’re the champion!” Jace confirmed.

You felt joy in a way you hadn’t felt in a long, long time, as you stopped your car on the number one spot. Still a little dizzy from the thrill, you left the car, going straight to your team, heavily waiting for you. They all hugged you, hitting your helmet, saying congratulations and everything. You took a moment to hug Jace and Amanda, who had been of great support throughout the year.

After getting weighted and being congratulated by the other two on the podium, Perez and Hamilton, the latter hugging you tight as he took you off the floor, you drank water as you waited for the post race interview with Nico Rosberg.

You were giddy, barely holding yourself together with how happy you were feeling, how you wanted to hold the trophy, how grateful you were and more importantly, how you felt a great weight being lifted off your shoulders.

“Y/N, congratulations on becoming a World Champion! I have to say, as a girl dad, it is great to see you become the first woman ever to win this title. How do you feel? What do you want to say?” Nico offered, with a kind smile.

“To be honest, I can barely contain myself. It’s such an honor to be here and be the world champion. I look at the past and see my younger self who never thought would make it to Formula 1. It’s such a dream come true, after this year’s hardships, I’m glad to achieve the greatest dream of them all!” You said, kinda quickly, rambling as you tried to put into words all the emotions mixed with the happiness, “I’m sorry, I know I’m taking up all your time, I just want to dedicated this win, and this championship to three people who saved my life: Kimi, thank you for being the salvation of my career when we first met; And my mom, who’s not here anymore, thank you for being the light in my darkest days. And lastly, I want to thank myself for working my ass off and never giving up.”

You muttered a thank you as Nico only laughed at your rambling. Before you moved to the cooldown, you grabbed the mic back again.

“May I add one last thing?” You asked for Nico, who only nodded, pointing to the camera again, “This is to my father: I made it, you asshole.”

You wanted to send the middle finger too, but you knew you couldn’t because of the FIA’s guidelines, and you were already risking a penalty for cursing on live TV. In the cooldown room, you sat beside Lewis, watching a few highlights of the race on the screen. It showed a couple of your overtakes.

“Damn, you overtook like crazy,” Lewis muttered, seemingly amazed.

“I pulled a Lewis Hamilton in Interlagos last year,” you joked, and he laughed.

That podium felt like the culmination of everything you had worked for your whole life, felt like recovering your love for the sport for what it was, for the fast cars and the adrenaline. Being on that podium in Brazil as a World Champion shifted something inside you forever. During your anthem, you laughed, and when you got the trophy, you cried, pointing the trophy to the sunny sky with a silent prayer to your mom. You barely noticed, but you felt the champagne raining on you, and opened your arms to shower in it. Putting the trophy down, you splashed the other bottle, laughing and wetting everyone that was close to you, Lewis, Checo, Jace, who had gone up representing the team.

When the celebration ended, you stayed behind a little more, watching the crowd from the podium, and they started chanting. It took you a few seconds to realize they were chanting your name.

You raised your trophy at them, and they cheered even louder. Then you pointed it to the sky again.

“Look, ma, I made it” you whispered to yourself, feeling the tears streaming down your face.

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[aphrogeneias]

no more tears — one-shot

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader

summary: it's halloween night, 1986. you want to celebrate your favorite holiday after the year you and your friends just had, but after being dumped by your, now ex, boyfriend a week before puts a damp on your plans. eddie munson, however, has a different plan for you.

word count: 5.3k

warnings: fluff, hurt/comfort, mutual pining, mentions of a past bad relationship, petty vengeance, protective!eddie, eddie being a sweetheart. eddie in a corset, eddie in leather pants (those are worthy warnings). drinking, smoking. implied smut towards the end.

author's note: happy, very early, halloween <3 i started writing this last year and originally, it was supposed to be a four-part series, and it became this one-shot. because of that, i'm sorry if it seems rushed, but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

Hawkins' suburban streets were a dull blur of white picket fences and houses that looked all the same, passing through the open windows of your car, despite the cold autumn wind blowing in. Even on Halloween night, where the air was full of childlike wonder and mischief, those same houses lit up with the same old seasonal decorations, the children going trick-or-treating, your school friends going out with the best of worst intentions. It all still felt dull to you. 

Perhaps because you felt that dullness deep inside of you, dead to the world around you. Fitting for such a morbid holiday — your favorite holiday, completely ruined by someone else's decisions.

Your self-pitying thoughts were interrupted by the curly-haired freshman who was currently inspecting the tapes piled in your glove compartment. You watched with interest from the corner of your eye as Dustin clicks the radio to a stop, without asking, and inserts your Blizzard of Ozz tape in the cassette player.

As the first chords of I Don't Know started echoing through the car, you teased, "Since when do you like these?"

"Since when do you care about what I listen to?"

Most days, you could deal with the kid's presumption, it was quite endearing, actually. That night, though, all you managed was to sigh as dramatically as you could.

"You've been hanging out with Munson a little too much." You pointed, "What's next? You're gonna grow out your hair like Mike is doing?"

"Mike isn't growing his hair out because of… Oh."

"You used to be more observant, Dusty."

You smiled at his silly expression, blue eyes wide with realization. It was the first time they could bring out a smile from you that evening, and you could tell that the teens in the backseat could feel the tension lift a little bit. 

The accidental mention of the metalhead made your mind wander once more. You wondered if you'd see him tonight, even if just for a moment, and if you'd be able to look and, perhaps, melt at one of his lazy smiles and cute dimples without feeling guilty for the first time since you met him. 

If being able to reciprocate Eddie Munson's lingering stares was the reward you got after being suddenly broken up with a week before Halloween, then you could start seeing an end to your current misery.

You didn't let yourself hang on to false hope, though. You were still nursing a broken heart and delusion wasn't going to help with it — but going home to a warm blanket, cheap wine and a bunch of horror movie VHS tapes that your Family Video friends had graciously delivered to your house after a very persuasive phone call.

After years of friendship, Steve Harrington still couldn't resist your pouting, even from a distance.

"Don't be mean. You're being awfully mean today, did you know that? Loosen up a little." Dustin snapped, but with little bite to his words.

You turned to him again, "Can you blame me?"

"Leave her alone, butthead." From her place in the backseat, Erica Sinclair, in her meticulously pink Barbie costume, interjects. "She's already doing us a favor and you're trying to be a smartass?"

Her older brother and Max Mayfield completely ignored Erica and Dustin's following little back and forth, stuck in their own little teenage love affair — and if, for only a moment, you were jealous of the easy, uncomplicated way they talked and held hands in the small space between their bodies, you shook it off just as quickly — as you winked at the youngest Sinclair from the rearview mirror.

You'd never tell anyone, but Erica had always been your favorite.

Their conversation was once again forgotten, overshadowed by your racing thoughts and eagerness to get home as soon as you could, until you parked in front of Steve's house, where your younger friends would enjoy their official party of their High School years. There had been a long time without any ragers at Harringtons', not since Steve became one of the losers, but after the events of last Spring, he thought we could all use some innocent (probably not that innocent on his side, god only knows that boy needed to get laid), spooky fun.

You'd thoroughly agreed before your boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend, put an end to all of your plans.

"Listen," you started, shutting the door of the driver's side of your car a little too violently while the kids gathered up outside, "if you get in any kind of trouble, call me. If you're gonna drink, or do any kind of drugs…" You're interrupted by groans and whines of 'really?' and 'we're not going to!', "don't do it alone, okay? And drink lots of water! Better safe than sorry, babies."

Most of that advice was just to mess with them, you knew they weren't anything like you when you were their age, but you cared too much about those miscreants to pretend that monsters and secret government organizations were the only obstacles they'd have to face in their teen years.

It's all a flurry of rolling eyes and quiet mumblings of "okay, whatever, we weren't gonna do any of that anyway" before they leave across the street to find the host of the party that was slowly, but surely, starting to fill in, groups of people coming into the house from both sides of the street, music echoing through the walls and into the evening air. Your heart clenched, heavy in your chest, wishing you could let go of the ache that was pulling you down and allow yourself to feel alive again, maybe just for one night.

You just about missed the pair of warm, brown eyes that watched you slouch back into your car and drive away.

On the other side of the street, Eddie Munson stood on the pristine front yard of the Harringtons' house, taking a long hit of his cigarette and rubbing the back of his hand over the eyeshadow spread on his eye, cursing and coughing when he realized the black stain it left behind on his skin.

He was uncomfortable and bored, listening to the deep bass line of Blondie's rapture coming from the house behind him, Debbie Harry's soft voice lulling him into a steady rhythm. He knew he was pushing it, coming to a place full of people, of people who half hated him at worst, half mistrusted him at best, even after his name was cleared. Worst of all, none of them understood his costume, which, to him, was the biggest insult of all.

Not knowing who Alice Cooper was supposed to be was one of the biggest treasons in his own, personal, Munson doctrine.

Now, he stood there, regretting every decision he had made that night, his leather pants pulling a little too tight on his legs and feeling a little too tempted to scrub the black eyeshadow from his face, thinking about a way to let his friends down gently when he bails on them.

His discomfort lasted until he saw your car pull up, and suddenly, leaving felt like a very, very bad idea.

Eddie was used to admiring you from a distance. From when he saw you for the first time, that fateful night at Reefer Rick's boathouse, it was all he could do without making a fool of himself. He didn't know how to carry himself around you, too caught up on your beauty, on your wit, or on how absolutely unattainable you were, to actually become close to you.

He watched you as one would watch the midday sun, high in the sky, with a hand in front of his eyes, protecting himself from being fully consumed by your light.

When you exited the car — Henderson, Mayfield and the Sinclairs following close behind — he noticed two things: your lack of a costume (or, rather, the fact that you were wearing something that was probably your pajamas, and looked incredible while at it), and the lack of a douchebag boyfriend beside you. 

Before he could walk over, perhaps use the kids as an excuse to talk to you, you left. Eddie was left halfway through the yard, a hand limp to his side as his cigarette laid long forgotten, and what must have been a ridiculous, confused expression on his face.

It didn't take long until Dustin and Erica found him, while Lucas and Max entered the house. 

"Hey, uh… where's Y/L/N going? Is she not… Is she not staying?" He swore he tried to act casual, but he knew from the expression on both his friends' faces that he wasn't doing a great job.

"Does it look like she's staying?" Erica crossed her arms, looking as intimidating as a little girl in all pink and glitter could look like. All he did was raise an eyebrow, and got one eyebrow raised right back at him.

Dustin was more understanding, in his Luke Skywalker costume, orange pilot suit and all. "She's not feeling well, man. Steve asked her if she could drive us because Nancy was already driving Mike and the Byers, but she went home."

"Oh." Again, he tried, to no avail, to hide the disappointment in his voice. Eddie Munson was, by no means, a good actor. "Do you know what happened?"

The boy opened his mouth to answer, but Erica beat him to the punch. "You know, I think she could really use some company tonight. No one wants to be alone on Halloween night, don't you think?"

She pulled Dustin away and towards the front door, eyes wise beyond her years giving him one final look before disappearing inside. 

Eddie knew she couldn't hear him as he screamed "I owe you one, Sinclair!" and rushed to the end of the street where his old van was parked, a sliver of hope and renewed excitement rushing through him like a live wire.

Scratch about what he said about regretting leaving his house that night, he had forgotten all about that as he sped to your place, a heavy guitar riff thundering hot on his trail.

You heard him before you saw him.

There was a horror film playing in your television, a blonde teenager running from a serial killer rolling on the screen, her terrified shrieks and the crescendo of the soundtrack filling the living room — not that you've been paying attention, you haven't been paying attention since a little after the beginning of the movie. You were too busy drinking your usual, cheap red wine straight from the bottle and stuck in your own thoughts, lying on the couch with only a blanket and your cat for company.

It approached slowly, the sound of his van's stereo. Then, it grew and grew, Quiet Riot's "Metal Health" seeming to echo through the entire neighborhood. It made you tumble out of the couch, feeling the effects of the alcohol rush to your head all at once, and running to the nearest window. You're still a tiny bit dizzy when you see him, after he stopped the engine and the music stopped, skipping out of the van and towards your front door.

You'd barely caught a glimpse of Eddie before you ran from the window, afraid to get caught. A million questions surged in that moment, the seconds between recollecting yourself and answering the loud ring of your doorbell, knowing who was waiting for you outside. How did he know you were home? Wasn't he busy tonight? What made him want to come to your place of all places?

All thoughts were cut short when you opened the door and saw him.

Under your front porch light, stood Eddie Munson, looking like every wet dream you had ever had.

Dressed in a tight, black tank top, a latex corset wrapped around his slim wait, and even tighter leather pants. Pale chest bare, it was the first time you were seeing his tattoos after visiting him at the hospital, months ago. He leaned in your doorway as soon as you opened it, a gentle smile in his full lips, brown eyes lined with a smudged layer of dark eyeshadow. Your legs might have given out if you didn't hold on to the wall. 

"Hey, Eddie." A greeting comes out as a gasp, letting out the breath that was stuck inside your throat. You hoped he couldn't tell how flustered you were, but if he did, you would blame the wine. "Is everything okay? Are the kids okay?"

It dawned on you that that must have been the reason he came all the way over to your house. You tried to bury down the wave of sudden anxiety when you watched his face fall slightly, before he replied “No, no, everything is fine. Uh… I just wanted to check on you, actually.”

The expression on your face — eyebrows pinched together in confusion — must have said it all, because then, he explained himself. “The littlest Sinclair said you might be needing some company tonight, but didn’t say why. I figured that if none of them were staying with you, then I might, if that’s okay.”

Eddie’s demeanor was uncharacteristically shy. He avoided your gaze, looking at the floor while speaking, but that only made you fonder — even then, he was still as sincere as always. Your heart did a little flip in your chest, warming you from the inside out, as you opened the door enough to let him pass, silently welcoming him in.

“Erica said that?”

“Yeah. Got me worried there for a second.” He eyed you with mirth from under his wild bangs while he toed off his combat boots and left them beside the other shoes on the floor near the door. That sweet, domestic sight didn’t go unnoticed but you had other things occupying your mind, such as a reminder to thank Erica for meddling in your Halloween night plans.

“There’s nothing to worry about, I’m fine. Just not in the mood to party, that’s all.”

“See, that doesn’t sound like you, Y/N.”

“How do you know that?”

“I guess I just know more about you than you’d think.”

You were still both standing in the small hallway that led to your living room, now staring at each other. Eddie felt out of place, next to the cream and beige shades of the wallpaper your mom chose when you moved there, in his all black ensemble, all leather and spikes and wild hair, but at the same time, you felt like he could belong there, if he stayed long enough.

You wished he would.

“I don’t know about that,” you sighed, “but if you want to stay and watch some movies, that would be more than okay.”

He smiled and leaned back, looking taller and impossibly handsome, dark eyes shimmering. You almost melted on your spot, but again, you wanted to blame it on the wine. 

“Lead the way, babe.”

At some point during the night, between one gruesome film and another, and a couple of bottles of wine being passed back and forth, you had scooted closer and closer together on your couch, until you were almost pressed flush against each other. Eddie was afraid to move and break whatever spell you seemed to be under, because he hadn't felt comfortable like that in a long time.

It was easy being around you. It hadn't been easy for Eddie to be around a lot of people, not since Spring Break, but with you, it took absolutely no effort to just be. To let go, to let his mind rest, to just focus on how warm the skin of your thigh was under your sweatpants, almost touching his, to make you laugh with his witty commentary of the awful movies you'd chosen to watch, to watch how beautiful you looked under the blue light of the television whenever you looked away from him.

He had it bad, that much he knew. Been smitten for a long time, enamored with the girl just out of his reach, but close enough to admire without guilt, but he wasn't about to let his feelings be known quite yet. Not when you were so close, so perfect, so… approachable, for the first time ever.

Eddie had never liked your boyfriend, from the first time he met him — just another Hawkins rich boy, swim team star, on his way to some fancy college out of state, and worst of all, he got to call you his. Unlike Steve Harrington, who managed to sway his usually unshakable opinion, Andrew just proved him right every time he had the unfortunate opportunity to meet him.

The first time he saw him was right after the dust had settled. He had just walked out of the hospital as a free man, mysteriously forgiven by the law enforcement that just a few days earlier was set on kicking him while he was down, and was received by his friends back at his trailer, a small committee complete with a handmade "welcome back!" sign and a cake baked by you. 

You, who welcomed him back with open arms and never stopped fighting for him, even if you'd only officially met a week before.

You'd spent that afternoon in his bedroom, along with his friends and his uncle, all sitting around his bed and reminiscing, happy to be there, happy to be alive. Still recovering from your wounds, seen and unseen, leaning on each other like a lifeline. He remember holding your hand that day, acutely aware of the ring on your finger, but doing it anyway — your hold never faltered, instead, you ran your thumb across the skin of his hand and smiled.

Was that what bliss felt like?

Later that day, you were the first to leave. Andrew came to pick you up, Dustin announced as he was the one to answer the door. A frown made its way to your face, if only for a second, and that was enough to make Eddie decide he didn't like the guy. Not only that but he insisted on walking you to the door, ignoring the protests coming from all around the room.

Walking slowly, as much as his still fresh bite wounds would allow, he let you lead him to his front door, a gentle hand on his back, guiding him. He didn't let himself feel bad for using his battered state to let you touch him without guilt, he could do that later, after the comforting warmth of your touch had stopped branding his skin. 

When you opened the door, that's when Eddie saw him. He knew Andrew hadn't been there during Spring Break, away with his family to some tropical destination, far from the horror they, you, had to endure. Eddie could tell he didn't care much either, letting you tend to your also still fresh wounds, both physical and mental, by yourself most of the time after he got back, only calling you when he needed something.

Eddie tells himself he would never let you out of his sight, if you were his girl, but there's also a lot of other things he likes to think about when he considers that scenario.

He watched you say goodbye, squeezing his shoulder before leaving and descending his trailer's stairs, down to your boyfriend's nice car and cold arms, leading you away from him, but not before leering him down at his own doorway, a condenscending, degrading look Eddie knew a little too well by now.

Not a word was spoken between the two, but there was no need, Eddie already made hating him into a new hobby.

With that sudden rememberance, your soft giggles bringing him back to the present, Eddie couldn't help but ask.

"What happened to your boyfriend?"

Without missing a beat, you chuckled, and responded without looking at him. "He dumped me."

"He what?" His question sounded a lot louder and high-pitched than he had intended. Eddie thought it would be easier for you to have dumped him other than the opposite.

Who would be stupid enough to let you go like that?

With a long sigh, you clicked the remote to pause the movie, and turned around to face him fully. He tried not to show how disappointed he was to lose the physical contact you had at that moment, but his hand clenched almost involuntarily, eager to reach out and pull you back. Where you belonged, his traitorous mind added.

"Dumped me, yeah." You sat with your legs crossed and he did the same, turning to hear you. "Last week. Unceremoniously, might I add, through the phone, even. I heard through the grapevine he's already dating someone else, but that might be just rumors, or maybe not, honestly I expect anything from him at this point."

Eddie's mind was reeling. "Was that why you didn't want to go out tonight?"

"That's part of the reason." You nod. "I just really don't wanna risk seeing him and Halloween is my favorite holiday, I don't want it more ruined than it already is."

The urge to punch the guy in the face was strong, stronger than it was when he was still recovering, when you were still together. It made him restless, fidgeting in his seat. The hand that lied limp at his side finally reached out, sitting on your knee and squeezing it only slightly. "I'm sorry. I know that it's not worth much, but I really am. You deserve better."

A weak smile formed on your lips, but it didn't reach your eyes. Eddie desperately wanted to make your face light up again. A brief idea struck him, then.

"Do you know where he might be tonight?"

"Benny's, probably. I don't know. I don't want to know." Despite your distress, you looked adorable with your nose scrunched and your head down, picking on your already chipped nail polish. Unable to help himself, Eddie finally reached out, his first unmistakably purposeful display of affection towards you — a little unsure, a little clumsy, but it still felt right — bringing his curled index finger below your chin, gently tipping your head up, making you meet his eyes.

"You might wanna know about what I'm thinking."

His voice was soft, but his dark eyes were full of mischief.

It was late when you got to Benny's. Not that anyone there would mind, the music inside was blasting loud enough that it could be heard for miles, and the people who were outside were all too intoxicated to mind your presence.

The basketball team, and seemingly every other jock affiliation at school, had a different party happening on Halloween night. They must have not gotten their big suburban house for themselves this year, Eddie thought. He would usually try to crash these parties, make some money out of the only few times these jocks didn't abhor his mere presence to his advantage, but things had changed for him, and for all it's worth, he had better things to do tonight.

Getting your ex-boyfriends back from what he did to you was his first priority. The second was making you forget all about him.

You and Eddie must have looked like quite a pair. He was still in his full costume, standing out from the more boring looking costumes the popular crowd opted for that evening, and you had put on the first outfit you saw after he'd told you his plan and whisked you away in his van. An old black sweater and ripped jeans, he saw your mismatched socks before you put on your boots, the ones that were already near the door. 

To him, you looked perfect, but he could tell how uncomfortable you were with all the people around you. Your ex's friends, he assumed. Eddie wondered if you were ever at these parties, and if Andrew even cared about how you felt about them. He doesn't want to think too much about it or he could feel himself get mad again.

"Hey," he brought a hand to your back, moving it up and down in a soothing manner, "we'll be in and out of here, 'kay?"

"Yeah, I know." Your smile was small, but Eddie was relieved to see it anyway. He promised himself he'd make convincing you to leave your house worth it, and he'll keep his promise.

"So… which one is his car?"

He watched you point to a tan-colored Jeep towards the end of the improvised parking lot. Silently, he grabbed your hand and led the way towards it. It wasn't a very well thought out plan, the one came up with whilst he seethed thinking about an asshole like that dumping a girl like you. It demanded serious action, in his humble opinion.

Property damage, more like it.

Eddie had been trying to stay out of trouble since the events of last March. He'd been officially cleared of all charges, something to do with the reappearance of Chief Hopper and his connections with the government. The details were foggy, he barely remembered signing all of those documents, still in his hospital bed and hazy from the medication. Wayne probably knew more than he did, but Eddie never asked too many questions.

He tried to go on as normally as he could, working odd jobs here and there as his body recovered, doing his best to heal his mind too. He stopped selling, graduated in May, spent more time with his new found friends — his new found family — and his old ones. Started dreaming about a girl who belonged to someone else, foolishly hoping that someday she would be his.

Not so foolish now, those dreams seemed.

Keeping out of trouble was surprisingly easy after you'd barely escaped life in prison, or worse — Eddie discovered there were far worse things than getting locked up, or living up to his family name. After all that, a minor misdemeanor was worth it if it was going to make you smile, at least in his eyes.

When you approached the Jeep, he could tell there was something going on in there. If he noticed, you noticed it as well, inching closer to it, slowly, trying to not get caught. The car was not empty, there were two people in front seats, making out — your ex and a girl Eddie did not recognize.

The first thing he felt was your grip on his hand tighten, and when he turned his body around to look at you, you looked away. Heartbroken, a dejected look on your pretty face, lips turned into a frown. It was almost like you didn't want to be seen at that moment, trying to hide, but Eddie couldn't let you. His own heart breaking for you, but willing to do whatever it took to mend it.

He took your face in both of his hands, urging you to look at him. "You don't need to get any closer, all right? Let me handle it, it was my idea. We won't spend more than five minutes here, I promise. Then I'll take you home, or we can go wherever you want. Far away from him, okay?"

"Okay. It's okay. I trust you, Eddie." 

The chill he's been feeling having foregone his jacket is readily forgotten as he takes in how sweet your eyes look in the low light of the street. He runs his thumb over your cheek just briefly before letting you go, going over to Andrew's car.

Thankfully for the height of the car, it was easy for Eddie to crouch and quickly grab the butterfly knife he usually kept on the inside pocket of his jacket — for safety measures, especially after being almost eaten alive, he didn't feel well without a weapon within close proximity. Call him crazy, but maybe there's always demobats to be fought, or asshole ex-boyfriends to screw over.

He cringed as he noticed the car starting to shake slightly, and prayed that you'd kept looking away. Eddie made a quick job of it — light on his feet, he slashed each of the four tires, and as he watched them slowly deflate, he ran towards you. You looked at him, covering your mouth to hide your nervous laughter, and he put his finger to his mouth, signaling you to keep quiet.

Together, you ran. Eddie didn't know who grabbed whose hand first, but when he came to himself you were running in the direction of his van, and you were giggling openly, making him smile until his cheeks hurt in turn. When you stopped, panting and still laughing, none of you let go.

"I can't believe we did that."

"I did that. You just watched, sweetheart."

Rolling your eyes, you pulled him a little closer by the hand you were holding. "Still, you're my hero, Eddie Munson."

"Couldn't stand thinking about what that dick did to you. He never deserved you in the first place."

He thought he'd said something wrong when you didn't say anything right away, but he was pleasantly surprised when you finished closing the distance between you, capturing his bottom lip between yours in a delicate kiss. He stood there, shocked for a second, before bringing his hands to your waist, drawing you to his chest.

Your arms around his neck, his traveling to your back, the sound of the deep bass coming from the inside of Benny's drowning everything around you. You were all he could feel, your soft lips melding with his, taking in all the little noises you made when he touched you just right. Feeling you under his touch was kind of surreal, like he couldn't believe it was happening just yet.

He swallowed the sigh you let out, just before drawing away, looking for air. "What was that?"

"Just a thank you, for now." You pointed with another peck to his lips.

"For now? What's for later?"

"Take me home like you promised and you'll find out."

"Baby, you don't need to…," not even he expected the pet name, or what followed, "you know, thank me like that. Or at all! I wasn't expecting anything from you…"

Before he could say anymore, you silenced him with another kiss, this time sucking on his bottom lip and letting him deepen it, taking the opportunity to sneak his tongue into your mouth, getting lost in the taste of you. Eddie walked you back until you hit the side of his van, his hand covering the back of your head, softening the impact.

He couldn't bear to hold himself back any longer, and you didn't seem to want him to slow down either, pulling him impossibly closer by his hair, making him moan into your mouth.

"I know you weren't, but I've been wanting to do this for a long time."

"Yeah?" He tilted his head, running his hands under your sweater, feeling your warm skin under your shirt, "Not longer than me, I'm sure."

"Wanna bet?"

The rest of the night was a blur. When Eddie woke up the next morning, naked on your bed, all he could remember was spending through the streets, dividing his already thin attention between kissing you and the steering wheel, drinking wine on your couch until you started taking your clothes off, and stumbling up the stairs while he removed his.

You slept peacefully beside him, your hair like a halo around your head, faint purple hickies on your neck. Though his mind was foggy, and his head ached with a hangover he was sure to blame your cheap wine, he didn't regret a thing he did the night before.

Later, when you woke up, after he spent looking at your ceiling and wondering how did he get so lucky, you got under the sheets and thanked him some more.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fanfic

[heartsforvin]

TATTOOS

pairing; vinnie hacker x fem!gf!reader

warnings; mention of anxiety, a bunch of fluff <3

summary; it’s a lazy day for you & vin, laying in bed watching movies together, you get lost in a daze as you trace his tattoos

lazy days for you and vinnie were rare. either he had an event to go to, or you had a modeling gig lined up. so when you both had a free day, you took that to your advantage.

you excitedly ran down the stairs of vinnie’s shared home with his roommates, meeting one of the guys once you reached the kitchen.

“hey, y/n!” jack exclaimed with a smile, happy to see you around the house again.

you reciprocated the gesture, the corner of your lips tugging up into a smile. “hi, jack.”

you quickly pass the blonde, grabbing some sodas and a bag of popcorn, putting the bag into the microwave.

sitting up on the counter as you waited for the popcorn to finish, you swung your legs back and forth.

“what are your plans for the day?” you heard jack speak up, turning your attention to him.

you smile at the thought. “vin and i are just gonna stay in today and watch some movies!” you exclaim.

jack smiled, picking up his things, signaling he was going to leave the room. “awe that’s fun! i gotta go, but i’ll see ya later?” he questioned, making you nod.

“see you later!” you told, hopping off the counter and walking to the microwave.

as you opened it up, you felt a strong pair of arms wrap around your waist, hugging you from behind. you looked down and saw the tattooed hands that rested on your stomach.

vinnie’s face was in your neck, planting small kisses against it, making you giggle. “you couldn’t wait five minutes?” you questioned.

vinnie mumbled into your skin. “couldn’t wait another five seconds” he replied, unwrapping himself from you.

you smiled, finishing up making the popcorn, pouring it into a bowl and soaking it with butter.

“here, grab this for me, will you?” you asked your boyfriend, he happily grabbed the bowl of popcorn.

you grabbed two sodas and the two of you made it back upstairs into vinnie’s room. once the door was shut the two of you got situated on his bed.

the popcorn bowl sat in between the two of you, while you snuggled into your boyfriend.

your head was laid on vinnie’s chest, his arms wrapped around you and resting on your waist, gripping slightly.

“what movie did you pick?” you looked up to see the blonde above you smiling.

“vin, no!” you exclaimed, sitting up to swat at his chest. “you promised me you wouldn’t pick a scary one.”

he smirked, he didn’t actually pick a horror film, he just loved to tease you and see what you’d do.

vinnie rubbed your shoulder. “i didn’t pick a scary one, baby.” he replied, smiling.

you smiled, switching the way you laid on your boyfriend. you decided to lay against him with your back on his chest, his arms resting on your thighs.

✧∘* ೃ ⋆｡˚.

about thirty minutes into the movie (which was an action film), you got distracted. vinnie was very intently focused on the movie, but you were focused on something else.

you held one of vinnie’s hands in yours, the back of his hand facing you as you traced the bird feathers all the way to the snake on his index finger.

his tattoos were one of your favorite features of him, it was the first thing you noticed when you first met him.

you loved all his tattoos so much.

your favorite however, was a tie between the spider tattoo on his sternum, or snake tattoo that wrapped around his neck.

too caught up in the movie, the boy above you still didn’t notice what you were doing. that was until you started tracing a little higher up on his left arm.

“what’re you doin’, baby?” the softness of his voice almost unclear.

your cheeks heated at the realization that he caught you, it wasn’t something embarrassing, you often traced the inked skin to relive your anxiety at times.

“got distracted.” is all you said. vinnie smiled down at you.

he watched as you continued to trace his inked skin in deep thought, smiling as you did so.

“have you watched any of the movie?” he asked you, a blush creeping up on your cheeks.

he got his answer just by that, smirking and kissing your head.

after a moment of silence you felt movement on the bed, looking over to the side, you saw hera making her way towards you two.

“hera, my baby!” you exclaimed, earning a pout from the blonde haired boy beside you.

you smiled at him before kissing his cheek. "you're my baby too." you told him, earning a smile.

the three of you laid back down, you cuddled back into vinnie while hera laid in between you both. continuing to trace the boy's tattoos, you sighed contentedly, looking up at vinnie.

"which is your favorite?" he asked, already knowing your answer, he just loved hearing your voice.

you sat up a bit to reach the tattoo around his neck, gliding your fingers around it.

"this for sure," you said, almost in a whisper. "although, your spider one is up there too."

vinnie smiled, lifting up your chin to meet his gaze. he smiled at you before letting the distance between you close in a kiss.

you both smiled once you pulled apart, vinnie stroked your cheek with his thumb which made you blush.

"wanna get matching tattoos one day?" the boy asked, making you look at him with pure shock.

"are you sure?" you asked, making sure he was one hundred percent certain.

you had in fact thought about the idea, but wasn't sure you should do it just in case you guys didn't last.

there was always that possibility to look out for.

vinnie smiled widely and nodded his head. "i have never been so sure about something in my life," he told. "besides me wanting you to be my future wife."

that sentence mad your stomach fill with butterflies, you smiled up at him, making him smile back.

you nodded your head, letting him know that you in fact would like to get a matching tattoo with him one day.

falling back onto his chest, you wrapped your arms around his waist, while his rested along your back.

hera found a more comfortable spot in between you two as well. you ran your fingers along her fur, loving the moment you were in.

"oh and to be clear," you started after moments of silence. you tried your best to look at vinnie. "i would love to be your wife."

he kissed your head, rubbing your back with a smile on his face. he knew for sure, no matter how long it takes, he was going to make you his wife.

#vhackerr #vinnie hacker blurb #vinnie hacker fluff #vinnie hacker imagines #vinnie hacker smut #vinniehackerfanfic #vinniehacker #vincent hacker

[cerezzzita]

Hi, i saw you have your request open so here i go, requesting some hcs for Dante, Vergil and Trish having a short sweet-toothed s/o who also loves to bake.

notes: heeey there, anon! In advance sorry for the waiting, it took long enough but at least here we are! I hope you like it, because I surely did loved writing these headcanons, and with Trish being included? Better than ever!

Enjoy the reading and thanks for requesting! <3

⠀🍓 ˖ . ᵎᵎ Dante, Vergil & Trish with a short sweet-toothed S/O

♡ tags: gender-neutral reader, no use of pronouns (you/yours only), no description of reader's appearance, short!reader, use of petnames, three devils being soft af, Vergil and Trish might have been sorta ooc pardon in advance.

ⓘ gif's not mine!!

Dante

Perfect match, to be honest.

Calls you "shortcake" or "shortie" most of the time and if you're annoyed by that… he'll keep doing it, sorry. He loves you enough to annoy you as well. 

Being as sweet-toothed as he is, no wonder he'll ask you constantly to make some desserts with strawberries or red fruits in general such as raspberries or cherries. 

And please don't let Dante get one inch near the kitchen, this man will eat as many of the berries plus he's catastrophic at cooking.

At least let him add some of the ingredients and mix them together here and there, he'll be satisfied and happy enough. 

He'll eat the batter when you're not looking, by the way. 

Still on the ingredients topic, doesn't this bitch (affectionately) loves when you ask him for help to reach something you can't? He's all smugly smirks, towering you with that huge figure of his and in the best of the cases, lifting you so you can reach it by yourself. 

Dante's personal favorite dessert made by you became The Devil's Cake, but instead of being fulfilled of chocolate only, there's lots and lots of strawberry jam and fresh strawberries on top of it. 

Late night munchies are a must! You two can and will be watching whatever series or movies while cuddling and devouring almost all of a whole damn bakery because Dante has a black hole instead of a regular stomach. 

Saw a recipe for dessert pizza once, got obsessed with it, asked you to make it, you made it, he's even more in love with you. 

"Babe, you're a sweetheartie. A candy angel, I love you so much," said Dante, mouth full of sweet pizza and eyes full of tears of joy and passion. 

ⓘ gif's not mine!!

Vergil

Vergil strikes me as a cinnamon roll enjoyer. That's it, that's the post. 

But really, I don't think he has a sweet-tooth or enjoys sugary foods that much. He likes it, sure, but at moderate bits. 

Unlike Dante, he does not make fun of your height… Yet he finds it quite endearing. 

Calls you "little bird". Let me have him be affectionate and lovely for a sec, okay? 

Vergil also gets worried by the amount of sugar you consume. 

"You'll get plenty of cavities if you keep eating desserts at that level." 

He helps you with your recipes too. I'm kinda sure that Vergil knows a thing or two in the cooking field, correct me if I'm wrong (I am wrong). 

As previously said, he likes more, hm, refined flavors, such as cinnamon and vanilla and if you're baking cinnamon rolls, count him on it! 

Don't ask Vergil to chop the ingredients unless you want him to put on a show about it. 

If you like drinking tea, you better prepare a bunch of sweet treats because you're having regular, calm silent tea evenings ft. Vergil and his poetry book. 

ⓘ gif's not mine!!

Trish

Oh my, what can I say about Trish?

She's not a sugary-sweet person. Instead, she's mostly on sour candies and neutral fruits field. 

With that being said, I hope you're ready to constantly bake lemon pies and banana cakes. 

Trish does not know how to cook for her dear life, she prefers watching you instead and maybe teasing you along with it.

"Trish, I could use a little hand." "Pardon me if I can't help but think you're all cute on your own, sugar."

Speaking of teasing, this devil surely knows how to make you fluster with her little comments about your height, but of course, always keeping it comfortable enough to not get you mad or sad. 

"Need some help there, honeypie?" "My, if you ever get trouble reaching that shelf, you need to wear some of my heels."

And although Trish is not your sous chef, she is certainly your personal tasting critic, which is an advantage mostly to her. 

"So, what do you think?" "Hm, I liked the caramel on top of the fruit, and it's sour just in the way I love. It's a ten out of ten, honey." 

Brought you some silly clothes like sweaters and shirts with some candy motif and oh, sure, fruity flavored lip gloss. 

Anything for her honeybun~

cerezzzita©, 2023 · all rights reserved ⓘ do not edit, copy, steal or claim as yours | reblogs and comments are appreciated!

#devil may cry #dmc #devil may cry headcanons #dmc headcanons #devil may cry x reader #dmc x reader #dante #vergil #trish #dmc dante #dmc vergil #dmc trish #dante sparda x reader #vergil sparda x reader #dmc trish x reader #gender neutral reader #reader insert #x reader #dante x reader #vergil x reader #trish x reader #dante sparda #vergil sparda #devil may cry fanfiction #devil may cry imagines

[crescentfool]

I noticed you're a Ryomina!!! How did you get into it? And do you have any good fanfics/doujinshi you can advice me to read? ANYTHING on Ryomina actually? I'm dying for anything about them!!! Thanks!!

yes!!! it's me!!! i'm ryomina fan (one of many)!!! thank you for visiting my askbox, i'll do my best to answer all of the questions because it always makes me happy to see that ryomina sparks joy for people! :D

...this got really long because i like linking to things, so i'm putting it under a read more (IM VERY NORMAL ABOUT THEM)

how did i get into it? i got into persona 3 around august 2021 through the movies- at the time my only experience with the persona series was with P5R / P5S / P5D. p3 was the one that interested me the most (i thought minato was very pretty + i caught wind that the themes of the game were very resonant with people). i picked the movies over the game because i'm a guy who plays games at a snails pace, haha.

admittedly, i did latch onto ryomina because of the scenes in the third and fourth movie (i have mentioned in the tags of this art i drew how much i felt like i was exploding and blasting off to the moon watching it).

but what really dug me into the ryomina hole (and what has kept me there) was thinking about how much ryoji encapsulates the themes of p3- and how interconnected his fate is with minato. i wrote some musings about their dynamic here, if you're interested!

tl;dr: what if we were both boys and we were mirror images of each other and i inherited your kindness and looks but god doomed our narrative even though we're soulmates

on ryomina fanworks recommendations:

regarding fics: i'm going to assume that you've probably read the fics that have the highest kudo ratings on them, so i won't really be listing those.

a personal favorite fic that i always hold close to my heart is Eurydice's Vow by crescentmoontea, which explores the idea of ryomina in p5r's third semester. this was the first fic i read about ryomina and it made me tear up lots...

i also think a lot about I Alone Await You by Nail_gun, literally scrumptious writing that captures the ryomina dynamic so so well. actually check out Nail_gun's other ryomina fics while you're at it too!

other fun fic i'm fond of: can't get my mind out of those memories (what were they?) by foxmulder_whereartthou. ryoji being homeless lives rent free in my head and it's all because of this fic. there's a bunch of other fun ryominas from the same author too (i still need to read them)

BkZa555 also has some fun AU scenarios if you're into that too, notably with Zagreus (P5-Setting, Ryoji focus) and The Definition of Insanity (TIME LOOP fuckery!), but they're currently ongoing.

these were some ones that came to my mind first- as i have the strongest recollection reading them. admittedly i haven't really been reading fic this year, so i don't have many recommendations from fic that came out this year. but if you're so inclined to let ryomina consume your soul, i definitely recommend giving the newer works in the ryomina tag a look-see and see if it strikes your fancy!

as a side note, i do have a few ryomina fics that i've bookmarked on my ao3 here, though i have to say that i'm not sure how well they hold up in terms of like... what i would seek out of a fic these days. but they made past me happy so i bookmarked them, LOL. it's kind of outdated (my collection of fic recs has my old username *disintegrates*).

regarding doujinshi: i have not read all the ryomina doujinshi available, but as a starting point, please take a look at this list from pandora-scans from livejournal!

notably, this is where you can find the strawberry-chan say good bye doujin- which features a small and cute comic from shuji sogabe (the p3/p4 manga artist), as well as other artists. the existence of this doujinshi is the funniest thing to me because it's like "HEY if you're wondering what the volume 8 cover is really gay it's because sogabe contributed to a ryomina doujin." this fact makes my head spin (positive). it explains a lot about the manga.

regarding persona side material:

i know you didn't ask for these but i thought that i mine as well list these too, since i feel that the side materials have some fun expansions on ryoji and minato's interactions. i haven't... watched/read all of these but, hey, i like to share these things!

for comic anthologies for the persona series (some of which have ryoji!). if you're interested in reading them, here's a scanlation index from maboroshi-no on tumblr. i don't think this is a comprehensive list, but i think it will be a great starting point!

for some translations of the persona 3 drama cds, check out imaginary-numbers on dreamwidth! ryoji and minato interactions can specifically be found in the persona 3 character drama cd vol. 1, and for the audio + english subs, you can watch this video on youtube:

and ohh the musical. ryoji singing and dancing gives me so much joy. i haven't watched the musical in it's entirety (only fragments), but here are some links that may be of interest to you:

Ao no Kakusei (The Blue Awakening), Sakuya version - playlist for the first p3 musical, translated by Phoenix Maiika.

Ao no Kakusei (The Blue Awakening), Kotone version - playlist for the femc version!! also translated by Phoenix Maiika on YouTube.

Persona 3: The Weird Masquerade (English Subtitles) - playlist by rumio!

P3 Weird Musical DVD & Soundtrack Booklet Scans by rumio_k - twitter thread that links to these funsies, if you don't have twitter, here's the publicly shared drive link.

god. these sure are a lot of links, huh? i hope you enjoy them- pick and choose whatever sounds most appealing! (if this overwhelmed you im sorry GKLHLDH i just like being very comprehensive in my answers about things so i got carried away).

and as a reminder, you (and anyone else reading) are always welcome to browse my tags/archive and reblog things from there anytime! i have... nearly 300 ryomina posts which, while mostly consists of art, has a few fics, meta, hcs, gifs, memes, and whatnot scattered about.

or browse the minato and ryoji tags too! there's.. nearly 1k minato. and 500 ish ryoji. and they're going to keep on growing because i can't stop being obsessed with archiving these things. god help me i am so deep in this hole called ryomina hell and now you're here too. welcome aboard!

there's always going to be a lot of fun ways to enjoy rotating ryomina around in one's brain, i think- they're a pairing with such fun symbolic imagery that is So Deep (to me) but ALSO they're immensely hilarious and weird guys (affectionate). so i love to share these things in hopes that it gives you joy too! they are the most couple ever (to me) (i'm biased)

thank you again for the ask! i hope it can satiate your need for more ryomina, and be a nice aide in exploring the p3 fanspace :)

#ohhh do i even main tag this #fuck it we ball i'll tag it #lizzy askbox #persona 3 #ryomina #ryoji mochizuki #minato arisato #i'm in a bit of a hiatus in terms of like.. looking at new ryomina stuff outside of fan art so i haven't seen Everything #but i would like to get back to it when i can be more cognizant and present to appreciate them #the grind to being a ryomina encyclopedia never stops! #my files and links are all messy i can hardly keep track of all the ryomina things... maybe i just need to make a neocities- #like cat's souyo archive (cat is an inspiration to me) #but FUCK man ryomina is so good. thank you for the follow and sending me this ask #i'm very sorry about the excessive length i can't help myself i'm very dedicated to wanting to know lots of things about them #i had a lot of fun answering this! #times like this make me want to return to like. my fic recommendation collection.. i gotta rehaul that stuff tbh #maybe after i've seen all the ryomina stuff i can make a ryomina iceberg based on what i've seen peple talk about (or not talk about) #it'll be a long while though. i feel like i've hardly scratched the surface even though i wouldn't call myself a casual enjoyer #ANYWAY BYE. no one ever apologize to me about being excessive because I AM very excessive and repetitive. LOL. have a good morning? evening

[sweet-villain]

You Were Always My Choice ~ S.H

Author's Note : Happy Valentines, @witchy-munson <3

Summary: You were too fond how close Nancy and Steve were getting. You decide to take matters in your own hands when you show up to a Valentines Day party with an unknown man by your side. Steve is alert and wants your attention. But will you give it to him?

You tightened the grip on the bowl you were holding hearing Steve and Nancy laugh in the living room while you were getting snacks in the kitchen. You gritted your teeth in anger opening a bag of chips and pouring them into a bowl.

" You look like you blew a fuss" Dustin says standing by your side. You nearly jumped out of your skin hearing him right next to you.

"Jesus, Henderson. Don't go scaring me like that, I could of flung these chips in your face" Dustin chuckled as he took one from the bowl.

" But you didn't" he grinned, taking the bowl. " Don't stand in the kitchen too long or you'll miss the movie" he says.

You pinched the bridge of your nose in annoyance turning around to get the rest of the snacks.

" Need any help?" Steve says as he walks into the kitchen. His eyes drop where your hands are opening a bag of pretzels. " You and Munson have some sort of addition with pretzels. Are you sure your not siblings?"

You snort as you peek into the living room seeing Dustin plop down next to Eddie on the couch as the two started to attack each other with pillows.

" I'm sure" your eyes meet his brown eyes. Your fingers itch to run your fingers through his hair.

" Movie starting soon, you don't wanna miss it" he says, pointing with his finger behind him. You nod carrying a bowl of pretzels, while he carried the other snacks.

" Did you get me my own bowl?" Eddie asks spotting the pretzels in your hands. " You have two hands and two feet, Munson. Go get it yourself" you sat down on the other couch next to Robin watching as Steve plops next to Nancy.

You looked away in case he felt your eyes on him and it would give you away what you were feeling inside.

" He's missing out, he's a dingus. Don't mind him" Robin whispers into your ear. " You're really hot" she adds, with a wink causing you to laugh. A hand reaches into a bowl you were holding, it's a ring clad hand reaching for a bunch of pretzels.

" Munson! I don't know where your hands have been, get your hands out of my pretzels" Eddie laughs as he playfully shoves his hand of pretzels against your mouth.

This action caused Steve to look over as his jaw clenched at the sight of Eddie laughing while you shoved Eddie away from you.

" You're an idiot" you mumbled standing up and dusting off the crumbs off your shirt. Steve looked away in anger.

He couldn't help himself seeing you intact with Eddie like that wishing it was him that peeked your interest. Nancy watched as his jaw clenched and unclenched.

She rolled her eyes at the way he was acting. He should really tell you how he feels.

‎♡‧₊˚

You stepped out of the dressing room as Robin waiting in the chair looking bored out of her mind. She had promised to take you shopping with her but she honestly was looking for a dress that would woo the eyes of Steve Harrington. Dingus needed to get it through his head that he should tell you how he feels when all he's doing is making it look like the two of you are just friends.

" Which dress is this?" She asked overlooking the racks to her right. You had tried almost every color that you thought would look good on you but when you walked out of the dressing room each time, Robin kept yelling, " Next!"

" The sixth dress, I think" you tell her through the door. " I can't get the zipper"

" Let me see" Robin says watching the door open and you step out in a red dress that made her gasp at the sight of you. " It's perfect" she says more to herself than you. " You look so hot" she says, clearing her throat. "If you weren't into Steve, I would totally swoop you off your feet."

" What about Vicky?" Robin waved her hand as she twirl her finger for you to turn around. You turned around feeling her fingers zip up your dress as she looks at you in the mirror.

" He's not going to see what's coming" you shrugged.

" I don't really know anymore, Steve talks about Nancy this and Nancy that. I'm so tired of it" Robin shoots you a sympathetic look through the mirror brushing your hair behind your ears as she looks at you.

" You're breath taking, you don't need Steve to tell you that"

Your cheeks flushed red as you playfully push her shoulders, " Flattery works on me."

" Oh god, you sound like Munson now" you rolled your eyes, " we could be siblings. But he's my best friend "Robins nods.

" I don't see you ever getting with Eddie" you shrugged.

" I'm going with a new guy I've met at work to the party" her eyebrow shoots up in interests. " I'm all ears, but first you need to buy this dress. It screams you"

You bought the dress and began to tell Robin about the new guy. Honestly, he was just a distraction from Steve but she didn't need to know that.

‎♡‧₊˚

Robin was the one who ended up inviting everyone over to Steve's house over this Valentines Day party. Your hands reach the door handle throwing it open with your so called date behind you. You were wearing the dress that you bought out shopping with Robin.

" You look so hot" Robin spots you as she throws her arms around you, a drink in her hand. " Are you drunk?" you asked her. She shook her head raising her index and thumb up and pinching it showing you a small space in between.

" Tipsy. Not drunk" Vicky comes up behind her as her eyes spot you.

" Oh my god, look at you. You are absolutely stunning" she says.

" Thank you" you smile at her looking around to see Steve popping his head to the music as he threw his hands up. " Is he okay?" you giggled watching him sway his hips to the music.

Robin and Vicky looked towards your line of vision, laughing as Steve danced or whatever he wad doing.

Your smile drops spotting Nancy make her way over to him, and whispering something his ear. Your date had his arm wrapped around as he looked bored

His eyes land on you when he finds you and he stopped listening to what Nancy was telling him. His breath hitches as he takes you in. That dress on you fits you so well, the way you look so stunning surrounded by people.

He felt his heart race as his eyes roam to your legs, he can see they are smooth and his hand itched to run them down to feel the softness of your skin.

" Jesus, Steve. Go talk to her, you look like you are about to have a heart attack" he hears Nancy speak to him. When Steve glares at her from a brief moment and turns to look at you. Your gone. His eyes roam the room to see if he could spot you and instead he leaves Nancy standing there without another word.

He finds you in the kitchen with your date talking to you. His hand clenches by his side. Who was this person? Steve has never seen him in his life.

You don't notice that Steve was following you and been staring at you since you walked through the doors of his house. He can't keep his eyes off of you as he continues to take you in. You were beautiful. He always saw you like that. He was too afraid to admit it to you on how he felt. He didn't want to lose you.

" That dress looks really nice on you" your heard from the side. Steve. He had made his way over to you not standing the fact that you were attached to someone else. He wanted to be the one to be attached to you.

" Thank you, Steve" you mumble throwing him a smile but it doesn't reach his eyes. " I need something stronger than this" you brought the cup to your lips as you tasted it.

" I got you" your date says as he slips away leaving you with Steve.

" Where is Nancy?" you asked. There it was, he could see the way your eyes got a bit darker and your jaw clenched.

" She's somewhere" he shrugged keeping his eye on you.

" Why aren't you with her?" you asked.

" She's not the one I've been looking for" your eyebrows scrunched up together in confusion. Steve liked another girl? Who?

" Is it any of the girls here?" you asked, leaning into his ear to whisper. It was so loud at the party.

He nodded, " she's the prettiest out of all of them. Red suits her" you pulled your head away over looking the girls he must be talking about. Not anyone is in red except for you.

" I-Ive gotta find my date" Steve frown the fact that you want to get away from him.

‎♡‧₊˚

Steve finds you sitting on his stairs with a cup in your hands.

" Where's your date?" he asks, sitting besides you. He's no longer drinking as his mind took over the way you look tonight and why he wasn't the one who had his arm wrapped around you.

" Over there, making out with that one" you motion with your hand over to the living room. Steve looks over for a moment mumbling " prick" underneath his breath as he turns to you.

" are you okay?"

" Peachy" he frowns, reaching up to brush away your hair and put it behind your ear.

" It's his loss honestly" you shrugged.

" Not like any man would want someone like me" his eyebrows knitted together. " Someone like you? Have you seen you?"

" What are you saying, Harrington?"

" You're absolutely beautiful, you're kind, you're passionate, you're funny, you make people laugh till they cry, you bring out the best in people and you never cease to amaze me" your eyes met his brown eyes as they shined. His lips are turned into a smile as he looks at you.

" I don't understand" he chuckles.

" You've always been the girl I've most paid attention too" this time you were the one chuckling.

" Don't lie to me, Steve. Don't" he shakes his head.

" It was never about anyone else, ask anyone" you motion your hand over to Nancy were she danced. " What about her?"

" Nancy is nothing compared to you, you were always going to be my first choice and every choice I make after. No one can change that"

" Steve.."

" No one" he leans in, looking you in your eyes before his eyes fall down to your lips. " Just you" he whispers against your lips. " Always you" he says pressing his lips against yours.

The kiss is soft and full of passion as your turn your body to face him. He cups your face with both his hands, kissing you like you were going to slip out of his hands.

You couldn't believe what was happening and all because of the red dress that Robin had picked out. It caught the attention of the boy you have been crazy about for. You need to take Robin more with you when you go shopping.

You pulled away breathless as he rest his forehead against yours, " You are my only choice. Okay?"

" Okay" you nodded, leaning back in as you kiss him.

#Steve harrington #Steve Harrington x reader #Steve Harrington x you #Steve Harrington x y/n #Steve x you #Steve x reader #Steve x y/n #jewls writes #Steve Harrington fluff #Steve Harrington one shot #Steve Harrington imagine

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

For those who are not aware, I have decided to run the gauntlet of @bengiyo’s Queer Cinema Syllabus and have officially started Unit 3: Faith and Religion. The films in Unit 3 are: But I’m a Cheerleader (2000), Prayers for Bobby (2009), Latter Days (2003), Blackbird (2014), The Wise Kids (2011), Henry Gamble’s Birthday Party (2015)

Today I will be writing about

But I’m a Cheerleader (2000) dir. Jamie Babbit

[Run Time: 1:30 , Available: tubi, amazon, google play, apple play, Lang: English] 

Summary: A cheerleading-obsessed teenager is sent to a strict summer camp when her parents suspect her of being a lesbian. 

Cast: * Natasha Lyonne as Megan * Clea DuVall as Graham, Megan's love interest

Note: I watched the 2020 Director’s Cut

__

Hello, I have entered The Danger Zone. For the next two units I expect to be absolutely and utterly dashed upon the rocks as I start Unit 3: Faith and Religion, and eventually wash it down with Unit 4: Heartbreak Alley. 

Ben is being nice by having the first film on the list be But I’m a Cheerleader, so at least we can ease our way in to the conversations around conversion therapy and religious trauma to the queer community with some dark humor and bright colors. 

While I decided to embark on this syllabus project because my experience with queer media has been severely limited, there is at least one movie in Units 1-6 that I have seen before. For Unit 3, it is this one. I love this movie. I love this movie because for all that it is dark, for all the pain you see being carried by these queer teenagers, for all the harm that has and could be done to them throughout their time at True Directions, the film wastes absolutely no time highlighting the absolute absurdity of programs like this. What do you expect to happen when you put a bunch of horny, queer teenagers in a room together? But I’m a Cheerleader does a phenomenal job at maintaining the fact that queerness is inherent, it is not learned, it is not chosen. 

And it does something else that I picked up on this watch through, that makes me appreciate it even more, which is that it kinda pokes fun at 12 step-programs.

I don’t know that I have really talked about this much on my tumblr, I know I have referenced it a couple times in like…comments and conversations with some of my mutuals on tumblr about my opinions on Alcoholics Anonymous. Before I dig in to it, I will preface that AA and NA works for who it works for, and that’s cool, but I have strong negative opinions on these 12-step programs as a harm reductionist because they hold abstinence as the ultimate goal of substance use recovery, they are super religious, and they generally espouse anti-harm reduction ideologies. So seeing True Directions have a five step program, where the first step is literally admitting you have a problem are a homosexual, and to see these steps be a) absolutely absurd, b) random, and c) ineffective made me so happy. 

[OKAY WAIT REST OF POST ON PAUSE BRIEFLY SO THAT I CAN SHOUT ABOUT THE DIRECTOR OF THIS FILM AND THE FACT THAT AS I WAS RESEARCHING FOR THE FOR/BY/ABOUT SECTION, THE DIRECTOR, JAMIE BABBIT’S MOTHER RAN A TREATMENT PROGRAM FOR TEENAGERS WITH DRUG AND ALCOHOL PROBLEMS THAT WAS NAMED NEW DIRECTIONS, AND THAT IS WHAT TRUE DIRECTIONS WAS BASED ON. HAHAHA! That is the most succinct confirmation of my read on a piece of media I have ever had] 

For real, this program did not work on a single one of the residents by the end of the film, and that is absolutely what needs to happen. 

I love that the kids sneak out to go to a gay bar, I love that when the kids fail the conversion therapy program they get taken in by survivors of True Directions and find safety in a queer-positive house, especially because (as we see with Megan) if the kids fail the program they do risk homelessness. Which is a very real and present threat to queer kids today, both conversion therapy and possible homelessness. 

I like that Megan’s parents picked up on the fact she was queer before Megan herself did (shout out to vegetarianism, I literally wrote ‘vegetarian’ in my notes as an observed potential indicator lol) and find it is absolutely an intentional point that Megan would very possibly not have realized she was queer if her parents hadn’t sent her to conversion therapy, because it was not until a fellow queer was like “not all girls think about what you are thinking about when you look at girls” 

And it always hurts my heart a little when I hear people say their parents make comments sometimes that are like “well, everyone thinks about kissing a girl sometimes” etc etc and are still existing under the belief that they are straight. Megan seemed completely oblivious to her own queerness until other people pointed it out, and her parents might have had the intended outcome of a “straight” child if they had just kept their mouths shut and minded their own goddamn business. 

Not that we want Megan to be straight, but more just that the film itself feels like it does make a point of calling out the fact that putting your queer kid in a room with other queer kids is going to help them understand themselves better. It’s why cishets are so terrified of trans people, because the more visible trans and/or queer people are, the more people are able to question their own identities, and the more the white supremacist society we have built in the United States starts to become undermined by the degradation of a pillar of patriarchal heteronormativity, etc etc. 

I love that on the boy’s side of True Directions all the little decorations of like…shop tools and soldiers look sexual. The soliders look like they are either getting fucked in the ass, or about to perform oral sex. The tools look like dicks, it’s very much indicative of the fact that even the adults who say they have been “cured” really have not been, because they are still creating scenery and teaching these boys how to be straight while subconsciously producing images of queerness. 

I love that But I’m a Cheerleader is also able to challenge our own perceptions of queerness and heterosexuality. I love that it is Jan, who looks the most butch/masc of all the girls who is revealed to be heterosexual, and I think it is vitally important to see this not only as commentary around judging people based on appearance, but also can be used as a discussion point about the masculinization of women of color, and in addition the fact that all the girls are turned on watching Jan vacuum the floor, demonstrating that masculine women can be seen as hot/sexy. 

Anyway, I love this movie a lot, I think the messaging is great, I think it can read a little more serious for a queer audience than a straight audience around the actual extent of the damage done to these characters during their time at True Directions, but I think there are all of these little things that make the funny moments funnier if you are queer. 

For/By/About 

For sure by and about queer people. Both the director, Jamie Babbit, and the screenwriter, Brian Wayne Peterson are queer. I will admit that for a bit during the film I struggled to decide whether or not this film was made for queer people, because in some regards I thought that perhaps the purpose of But I’m A Cheerleader was to show straight people how fucking stupid conversion therapy is. But, I have actually landed on The Gay Trifecta for this one. 

Jamie Babbit stated that part of her inspiration for making this film was because she wanted more representation for fem lesbians in media, and that she decided to make it a romcom because of how media has historically treated lesbians (if you have read some of my other posts, we know I have talked about that history multiple times). 

Favorite Moment

SEX SCENE! So, I am pretty certain that I watched But I’m A Cheerleader for the first time before 2020, and therefore I did not have access to the director’s cut. But, in 2020 Babbit released her own cut of the movie, which is 5 minutes longer and I think the only difference between the two films is the addition of a sex scene that had been cut out of the initial film. It is not a hardcore scene by any means, but it is absolutely gorgeous, and it has some very clever and important shots contained within it, the most memorable for me being the shot of the cross necklace Megan always wears as she is actively having sex with Graham. 

Favorite Quote

“You are who you are, the only trick is not getting caught” 

God is that just like a bullseye statement for queer people, especially the ones who have to stay closeted. Such a quick line, such an active acknowledgement of threat, because everyone that ended up at True Horizons either got caught or couldn’t hide.

Score

10/10

Next up, Prayers for Bobby, and uh, I have it on good authority that it may leave me looking like Graham in that gif directly above this sentence.

#queer cinema syllabus #bengiyo queer cinema syllabus #unit 3 #but i'm a cheerleader #natasha lyonne #clea duvall

[pastafossa]

The last day of 2023.

And holy shit has it been a chaotic ride, one which you all shared with me, or that's what it feels like!

The Major Moments:

Feb: Cato's cancer diagnosis and discovery of weird mutated cells that likely won't be explained until after he passes away. He's still with me, fortunately! No idea how much time he has left but I'm grateful for every second

April: a small leak in my dining room ceiling turned into a bigger leak which turned into a massive hole in the ceiling, at least it wasn't winter???

May: DD Born Again Photos give us all a goddamn heart attack

May: I FUCKING REACH MY OVERALL 1,000,000 WORD COUNT ON AO3. 🎊 🎉 🎊 Next stop is 1mill for TRT!

June: Went to my first con since Covid! Drove all the way down to Philly to see Charlie Cox, WHICH WAS FUCKING AMAZING, HE HELD THE RED THREAD FOR OUR PHOTO, MY FANFIC DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE, AND I TOLD HIM WHAT DD MEANS TO ME AND HE WAS SO NICE I COULD CRY

June: At that same con, I finally FINALLY got to meet my bff @wonderlandmind4 in person after many many many late nights of chatting, and we just CLICKED like we'd been friends for years, which I should have expected, but still! And then I got to meet a bunch of my readers, too! Best con experience EVER

July: enter Whoops Covid Finally Got Me After 3 Years But Charlie Was Worth It ™

July: Finally dusted off my draft of Pasta's First Dark Fic cause even if my brain was too fuzzy to write, I figured I could edit a bit. And I did! And was pretty happy with the results!

August: Shit Now There's A Long Covid Heart Issue And I Can't Be Seen Until Late November Thanks Covid ®

August: leak in the garage leads to me losing about 65% of all the beautiful, special woods pieces I'd gathered over the course of six years for carving. Within a week I am gifted a huge bin of wood from a kind soul at my local witchy shop

Sept: TRT's 6th anniversary!

Nov: I was slowly getting back into the swing of things, doing a bit of writing in between learning to manage whatever was going on with my heart (which we'll hopefully figure out in January when I get all the results of testing in Jan)

Early Dec, and the worst week of my life: mom got sick. Within one day she went from not feeling good to needing an ambulance. By the next day, she was in the ICU - flu induced double pneumonia that was interfering with her breathing and heart issues. And with one more day, she was put into an induced coma and ventilated, without any of us sure if she'd pull through. They told us she'd likely be under for two weeks, potentially longer even if she made it. The amount of messages and supportive comments I got from all of you, the talks I had with @wonderlandmind4 and @shouldbestudying41, just the general sense of having a community to help me means more than I can ever say as you all helped me through that terrible, horrible moment, even if it was just gently messaging me to remind me to try to eat.

Mid Dec: against ALL odds, Mom was off the ventilator in a week. By week 2, she was out of the ICU. By week 3? Off to the physical rehab center. She was there a grand total of 1 week before she was allowed to come home to finish her recovery. Early December was the worst moment of my life, and yet it was also bookended by the best Christmas of my life even if it was spent at the rehab center, because I got to have my mama back, and hug her and tell her I loved her and make jokes, and now she's home and we've been watching Christmas movies and eating grilled cheeses, and as far as I'm concerned, that's what the holiday is to me: not presents and snow and lights, but this moment, this time with her. 'In all the places you find love, it feels like Christmas.'

In just a few hours for me, it'll be 2024. I have no idea what to expect going forward, or even what to plan for, much less a resolution. I know I want to get back to TRT when mom's a bit better (she still needs a lot of help, understandably). I know there are wood carvings I want make; friends I want to visit; witchy events at my local shop I want to go to. But other than that... who knows? If I'm lucky, things will be calmer than this past year. But even if they aren't, at least I know I have dear friends, all of you, and my family, including Pasta Mama, to help me through it.

Goodbye, 2023. Hello, 2024.

#new years #tw: sick parent #tw: sick pet #i have had a doozy of a year #and i truly don't think i'd have gotten through it without all of you #i feel like my life was just one great big tilt a whirl this year #incredible highs and incredible lows #we'll just have to see what 2024 brings #thank you to all of you this year #for your chats and messages #your comments and reaching out #it hasn't exactly been a smooth ride this year and i'm so grateful to all of you that helped push that metaphorical car up the hill with me #we'll see what comes this next year

[fallingintoyourlilaceyes]

If I may ask... How about Xavier and Female reader first kiss with extra fluff on the side? Only if you're feeling it of course!!!

Thank you!

I´m sorry this took forever I was just very unhappy with everything that I wrote until now. (I also might really be in a Rowan mood rn) I hope you enjoy <3

The perfect moment for a kiss

pairing: Xavier Thorpe x fem!reader

synopsis: Xavier, your best friend, comes over during summer vacation, as he always does. During his stay, feelings that aren´t so platonic get revealed.

warnings: none

word count: 0.8k

“Alright, that was the last one.”, you turn to your friends. 

With the suitcases in the trunk of your parent's car, there was only thing to do before driving off for the summer. Hugging each of them tightly as you said your goodbyes. It would be great to not have to think about school for the next month, but you would miss the little group for sure. Letting your arms linger on Xaviers shoulders for a second longer before pulling away.  

“I can´t wait for you to come over. This summer is gonna be so awesome.”, you grin widely at him. 

“It will be for sure. Call me when you´re home?”, a half-smile played on his lips. 

“You know I will.” 

You pulled him close once more, kissing his cheek as you always did and waved to the others, who were getting ready to head back inside, before getting into the car. It was gonna be weird to spend the next weeks without him. Ever since you and Xavier had become best friends you would never go a day without each other. You were happy when he started to stay the holidays with you instead of alone and actually had something to look forward to every summer. Not that your parents didn´t care or were boring, by any means they did their best, but with Xavier it was just different. Especially this summer. There were a bunch of concerts and events happening and you managed to get tickets to almost every single one of them. 

On the drive home you concentrated on your music and texting. Your parents didn´t live particularly close to nevermore and having to drive all the way because of your father's fright of flying didn´t make it any shorter.

Once you finally did reach home it felt like forever until you saw Xavier again. Your mothers constant teasing making it even worse, but the day you wrapped your arms around him in at the airport it felt like taking a deep breath after holding it for just a bit too long.

The first days the two of you spent doing nothing, but when the weekend approached you spend most of the day in the next city, for some window shopping and a movie the both of you had been meaning to watch. 

Coming home late that afternoon you could barely feel your feet over the pain, but the energy from spending the day in the city was still buzzing through you.  

“Hey, I´m gonna go shower quick. I´ll be back out in a minute.” 

“Okay.” 

In the meantime, you started to unpack your loot to keep yourself occupied. Hearing the shower turn off, you gave Xavier some more time before knocking on the door to put away the last things. 

“Wow.”, the small containers clattered to the ground. 

It wasn´t the lack of clothing on him that made you take a surprised step back, the two of you had become comfortable with that long ago, but rather how close he stood in the now open bathroom door. Though now that you were looking at him everything just pulled you in. The way his wet hair framed his face. How his toned upper body flexed as he leaned his arm against the doorframe. The piny fragrance that always surrounded him entering your nose. You didn´t even realise how close you got to him or how your eyes locked in an intense gaze. 

"This would probably be the perfect moment for a kiss...", your eyes wander to his lips. 

"And we probably shouldn't waste it.", his rough hands cup your cheeks as if you would vanish if he touched you too hard. 

The two of you move closer and then there is no turning back anymore. Right as your lips meet in the softest of kisses, you´re pretty sure you can feel your knees buckle underneath you as butterflies soar up in your stomach. Too soon you separate again, shy smiles and deep blushes taking over your faces. Suddenly the floor had become more interesting than ever. 

“I um... I guess this also is as good of a time as any to tell you that I might... love you.”, there is a deep silence after you finish your sentence. 

It settles between you like the sinking feeling in your stomach. You go to sit down on your bed, picking at your fingers. Why wasn´t he saying anything? All of a sudden, a hand lays on top of yours, hindering you from continuing your actions. It takes all the nerves left, but you look up. 

“I love you too.”, his voice is quiet. Like he is afraid to admit his feelings out loud. 

“You do?”, you search for his eyes. 

“I think I have for a while." 

You release a breathy laugh. “So, if I asked you out to get drinks before the concert tomorrow as a date...” 

“I´d say that that sounds like a great plan.” 

He pulls you in once more to peck your lips, before you can´t hold back the wide grins anymore. 

“Dinners ready!”, your mom pulls you out of the moment. Squeezing Xaviers hand softly you let him finish getting dressed before you join your parents in the dining room.

#xavier thorpe #xavier thorpe x reader #xavier thorpe x you #xavier thorpe oneshot #wednesday netflix #wednesday netflix one shot

[gnc-valentine]

The older brothers with child reader

AN: I’ve never once posted something like this so bear with me. I made this for a friend of mine who is silly goofy. This is platonic obviously. This only has the older bros but I’ll eventually make hcs for all the characters genuinely I promise please. Reader is Gender neutral. Also She/He levi in this :3

Lucifer:

• you are 1 more added to the 7 how good for you !! But not really !

• nah it’s fine tho really. Just as long as you don’t start/get in much trouble you’ll probably be fine. Oh you’re a kid being raised by a bunch of demons? Nvm then alright.

• genuinely moving on though, I’d say Lucifer would be one of those dads that would show up to whatever sporting event you may do, and just stand arms crossed with like a whole other row of dads watching the game intensely. Not even saying anything except for maybe the occasional jab at the other team and or referee.

• certified shaky camera holder. I don’t care what you wanna say. This man CANNOT record shit steady (me too fr). Might also forget the camera is still on and would just walk around with it in his pocket recording everything. He Denies it ever happened but it definitely did.

• in the anime, there was an episode where Lucifer and some of the brothers went on a camping trip. Working off of this, he definitely wakes you up at 6 in the damn morning just to fish for 3 hours then asks if you wanna hike after you’ve been sitting in a chair or standing for a while and your limbs are all tired. He definitely has one of those back packs that has like a packet for water with a straw coming out of the bag and will drink out of that instead of stopping to drink out of a water bottle for 30 seconds.

• THIS MAN IS INSUFFERABLE WITH BOARD AND CARD GAMES. HE WILL NOT GO EASY ON YOU NO MATTER HOW YOUNG YOU ARE. Oh you wanna win in Uno and you’re 7? TOO DAMN BAD.

• he probably makes the best grilled cheese known to man and if you ask really nicely, he’ll even wake up in the middle of the night to make it for you :3

Mammon:

• oh my fucking god. He is so uncle core you don’t understand. Tacky fashion? Check. Nearly the same if not more energy than the kid? Check. A car to blast music in on the way to get some junk food? Definitely check.

• he has a pool table in his room. I don’t know what else to say. You two probably against each other if by yourselves. He probably purposely shoots for the 8 ball to knock it in and lose if you’re feeling or looking too sad about being behind or losing. He’s cool like that. He plays it off like he didn’t purposely do it. what a good ball. If y’all play against like let’s say beel and belphie or something similar? Y’all are unstoppable 100%. Diavolo and Lucifer? Lucifer would try to win genuinely but diavolo makes trash shots on purpose cause he likes seeing you happy :3

• you two constantly jump to touch door frames or various other stuff near the ceiling. If you’re to short he’ll tease you and kinda brag about being tall but then you bite his knee or something and y’all start a full rough housing session that has Lucifer yelling from across the house telling y’all to calm the hell down before he finishes the fight himself no matter who started it.

• if you’re eating candy in his car or something like he’ll do that dad arm thing where he reaches behind the chair asking for some. He probably calls it the uncle tax or something but yeah

• you play poker with him. Not like real money poker, but poker nonetheless. Y’all are betting fucking candy probably. Stuffed animals too maybe if it gets intense. Again, if he sees you sad about losing most of your candy, he’ll purposely lose so you’ll be happy. He’s just so real like that

Levi:

• he’s definitely the family member that shows you games and movies that he obsesses over, that eventually you yourself obsess over (speaking from experience cough cough)

• if you like the things she likes? Oh boy. You are gonna have the best Halloween costumes of all time I’ll say that much. Hand made too.

• she definitely will watch kids shows with you and like try to get as much into them as you are. Gravity falls? She will go as mable/dipper with you for Halloween or a convention. Adventure time? He will watch any and every piece of media regarding it and will try to have lore convos about it with you. Pokémon? Bold of you to assume she doesn’t already like it you idiot (her fav Pokémon is milotic :3).

• if you suck at games she’ll try to help you but like if it’s a game he is super serious about and you wanna play he’ll probably just give you a fake controller or like let’s you play a mini game exclusively sorry.

• Mario party is always fun with her, you, belphie, and probably beel or mammon. He refuses to steal your star or coins or just do bad things to your character on the board. On the mini games however… she’s destroying you/hj. Mario cart is just as intense if not more intense. She will get a tad bit salty if you somehow get 1st place against her but she’ll be proud at the same time so it evens out.

End X3

Hope you enjoyed and I hope I make another part lol !

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me teen mc #obey me teen! mc #obey me child mc #obey me child!mc #platonic Lucifer #platonic mammon #platonic Levi #platonic leviathan #omswd #omnb #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me Levi #obey me leviathan #gender neutral mc #gender neutral reader #obey me nightbringer #obey me nb

[cyborg-franky]

Frankyyy!! let me join this date event <3 Could you please make this little woman happy with her husband Sanji? this woman need some comfort and would appreciate it so much <3 <3 Thank you I love you!!

I will do my best <3<3 I hope this makes you smile my deaaaar!

Sanji was always trying to outdo himself, every Valentine's day, every anniversary, and every birthday. He was always in constant competition with himself. He wanted you to feel cherished and loved with each passing year. His desire to make you happy never dwindled in all the years you’d been together.

Every time he floored you with something you’d tell him that you loved him no matter what, he could just bring you home a takeaway and watch a movie on your sofa and you would love him just as much as when he took you to fancy meals and bought you flowers. 

And he knew that he never did it to prove himself, it was simply his love language. 

This year on your wedding anniversary he hadn’t made big sweeping plans, hadn't bought you the biggest bunch of flowers he could carry. He suggested a nice meal and honestly? You were happy for something a little less crazy and exuberant. 

You’d dressed up nice, he had lavished you with kisses and praise, hearts in his eyes as he took your hand and kissed the back, working his way your arm to your neck, tickling with the scruff on his chin before his lips met yours.

The food was good, the place nice and quiet and you enjoyed your evening with your husband. He’d suggested a walk in the park, the weather was fresh and cool. It felt nice on your flushed cheeks, the wine at dinner being the culprit to the blush.

“Dinner was lovely,” You sighed and thought about the dessert, missing how it tasted already. He held your hand as you walked down the gravel path of the park, lit up at night with lights draped across mighty tree branches.

“Wasn’t bad was it?” He said with a shrug, you knew what he was getting at. “I mean, it wasn’t as good as your cooking but it was good.” You smirked when you saw him straighten up, a spring in his step, he loved hearing what he already knew from you. Loving the praise and compliments.

The park was mostly empty, a few other couples and people walking dogs crossed paths with you. “That’s pretty,” You pointed to a bandstand, flowers planted all around it, and lights decorating the structure. Sanji nodded and could tell you wanted to go up onto it. 

At the back was a bench, you and Sanji sitting on it, admiring the calm evening atmosphere, just enjoying each other's company. You both chatted away, talked about boring everyday things, about plans for the future. 

A comfortable silence settled between you both as you heard the gentle tip-tapping of rain on the roof, you didn't care though, it was fine. The smell of the rain was always one of your favorite smells. You watched Sanji dig around in his pocket, well, it had been an entire hour since he had his last cigarette.

“Hey,” you turned to face him, seeing a small box in his hand, and noticed he’d sank to his knee before he popped open the box. “I tried to think of how to outdo myself and I thought if I proposed to you again if we renewed our vows, I could start all over again. My love, will you accept?”

You blinked… taking in his sweet words before you put a hand over your mouth, feeling tears of happiness roll down your cheeks as you nodded, too choked up to form words as he slid the ring on your finger, it complimented your current wedding band.

He managed to outdo himself once again.

#sfw #gender neutral reader #franky date event #sanji x reader #sanji x you #sanji op x you #sanji #one piece reader insert #one piece x reader #one piece x you #one piece x yn

[heavyhitterheaux]

Reunited and It Doesn't Feel So Good Part 3 Version 2 (Read this version if you want the reader to end up with Urban)

(I had to add two pictures, couldn't help myself lol)

AN: Okayyy Urban babies, you're up! I hope yall like this! This is basically a whole bunch of fluff. Read parts 1 and 2 so that this makes sense. ❤️

Synopsis: After your breakup with your long term boyfriend you realize that the person you were supposed to be with was right in front of your face the entire time.

Pairing: Urban Wyatt x Reader, Platonic!Neelam Thadhani x Reader, Former Jack Harlow x Reader is mentioned

Please do not repost my content anywhere

"Urby?! Have you seen my bonnet? I could've swore I left it on my dresser."

It was almost 9 pm when you and Urban decided to have a movie marathon. You had gotten into your comfy clothes and all that was missing was your bonnet to protect your hair.

The edges were laid and you would be damned if you were about to mess them up.

"No..." Urban answered from the living room and you just knew he was lying.

You rolled your eyes and stomped out your room to see him shirtless on your couch with your bonnet covering his hair.

He can’t be serious right now.

You didn’t care that he was wearing your bonnet, it was the fact that it happened to be your favorite one. 

"Urban...."

"Yes mamas?"

"Give it here."

"But... I need it to protect my hair."

"You sir did not just get your hair done four hours ago. I can't sleep on these braids without something covering them!"

"But... I did just wash it though."

You rolled your eyes again and went back to your room in search of another one. Once you finally found one, you made your way back out to the living room and sat across from your boyfriend.

Yes.

Your boyfriend.

You didn't think it was possible to get two amazing loves in your life, but here you were.

Jack had been the first, but you definitely did not anticipate your best friend being the second. 

You and Jack were done and there was no coming back from that.

But deep down you still had love for him that probably was never going to go away.

All in all, you still cared about him and wanted for him to be okay.

Just not with you.

It's been a year and you've moved on....

to his best friend.

You were hesitant at first because of how it would look and what people would say.

Especially online.

Anything you could think of, they called you.

Late night crying sessions, scrolling through your different apps for hours, until one day you were like fuck it.

Urban made you happy and you didn’t care if people didn’t like it or not. 

Even though Jack was the one who did you wrong.

But, they were there to defend you every time.

They as in Neelam and Urban.

Jack had his chance with you and he blew it.

You were serious when you told him that you were finally going to start putting yourself first.

"Why are you so far away?" Urban curiously asked while eyeing you.

"You stole my bonnet." You replied while crossing your arms and pouting. 

"It's not stealing. What's mine is yours and vice versa. And besides you have like a hundred of them."

"But that one is my favorite!"

"Fine, you want your bonnet back? Give me my shirt back."

You looked down to see you were in fact wearing one of Urban's shirts and you let out a huff.

"No."

"That's what I thought. Now get over here we're watching this scary ass movie I found."

"I am not in the mood to not be able to sleep tonight."

"What are you scared of? I'll protect you mamas. Besides, I know a few things that’ll put you to sleep."

"Urb, no killer would take you seriously wearing my bonnet right now. I admit it looks cute though. I’m ignoring that last part you said."

"I'm a grown ass man. I'm not cute."

"Urban, shut the hell up and take the compliment. You're cute even when you're being an ass."

It happened 8 months after your break up with Jack.

And you were the happiest you've ever been.

Urban was patient, understanding, and took your feelings into consideration.

It's not the fact that your ex didn't, but it was evident Urban was making sure that you knew you were loved and appreciated.

Favorite flowers every Tuesday to start off your work week because you never worked on Mondays.

Dinner at one of your favorite restaurants on Saturdays. Especially when you had a hard week and needed a little pick me up.

Him buying you outfits every time he went out so that the both of you match.

Even down to the fucking socks. 

Yall were down bad for each other.

"Babe, I'm about to press play and you're still too far."

You rolled your eyes and moved to sit next to him. Once you did, you could feel him staring at you.

"What, you creep?'

"Nothing. It's just I have the most beautiful girlfriend in the world." He replied while shrugging.

"Oh my gosh, stop it. You’re only trying to butter me up since you want me to forgive you for stealing my bonnet." You replied while turning your face to hide in the crook of his neck.

"Don't get all shy on me now and besides, I’ll steal it again."

"Just press play before I die because I had too many butterflies in my stomach."

"I don't think that's a thing, mamas."

---

You woke up to being tangled with Urban and you could hear his light soft snores.

The both of you were facing each other and you wrapped your arms around his torso to bring him closer to you if that was possible.

This was the perfect opportunity to take it all in.

This man confessed that he had been in love with you for five years.

The entire time the two of you had been friends.

He admitted he backed off once he learned how much Jack liked you.

Even when you ended up dating his best friend, the feelings he had for you didn't go away and wanted the best for you two.

You wouldn't say that Jack had been a distraction.

He had just been a stepping stone to where you needed and who you needed to be with.

The relationship between him and Urban now was... awkward.

For awhile they would hardly speak to each other and the last thing you wanted to do was come in between them so

You talked to Jack about Urban

You talked to Urban about Jack

It wasn't how it was before but it was starting to get there since Jack realized he wasn't getting a second chance.

You attempted to untangle yourself in order to get ready for your day out with Neelam, but his hold on you only grew tighter. At this rate, he was going to make you late.

"Urb..."

"Baby girl..."

"Let me go."

"No."

You were about to suffocate at this point once he made his hold tighter.

"You have been an ass for the past 24 hours."

"I just missed my girl, that's all."

"I'm literally coming right back."

You weren’t, but you had to tell him that so you can try to ease your way to the bathroom to begin to get ready.

"I can make you cum right now so you don't have to go anywhere."

"URBAAAANNN, that is NOT what I meant."

"Ooh, I love it when you say my name like that little mamas. The offer still stands though."

“We don’t have enough time anyway, I’m spending the day with Neelam.”

“I don’t need a lot of time mamas. And wait a minute, you’re spending the day with her over me?!”

“Urby, I have spent the last three days with you.”

“Stop lying. You got your hair down yesterday and were gone for hours and left me here to fend for myself.”

“You’re a grown ass man remember? And we had a movie marathon when I got back!”

“That you fell asleep on!”

“I’ll bring you something back if you let me go.”

“You’ll bring me something back anyway.”

“Urbyyyy pleaseeee.”

“Fine, just leave me here by myself... again.”

“Sir, call Sunni and Jack and leave me alone to have my girls day out. You are aware that because of you I had to cancel on her the last two times because your ass didn’t want to share me with anybody.”

Urban simply shrugged while he was still holding onto you tightly.

“I’m selfish and you’ve known that for six years now.”

“Urb, the sooner you let me go, the sooner I’ll be back.”

He scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“With you and Neelam involved? I doubt it. But fine.”

He released his hold on you and you leaned over to kiss the tip of his nose.

“I won’t be long, promise.”

“You said that yesterday and your hair took almost six hours.”

“And you’ve known that for six years now. My hair is not an easy process and I know for a fucking fact your ass isn’t getting on me when you have an entire routine for your hair. If you miss a step, you start over.”

“I’m not dealing with your Urban slander early this morning.”

“Love you too big head.”

“If you loved me you would stay here.”

“Urb... would it help if I let you take a shower with me? Will that shut you up because I’m desperate at this point.”

You had never seen him hop out of the bed and move so fast.

“I’ll run the water.”

---

You were finally able to spend the day out with Neelam and it was long overdue.

Now the two of you were getting your nails done and talking about Urban.

I mean even though you wanted to be out with Neelam, you still missed your boo.

No matter how much he got on your nerves sometimes. I guess that comes with the best friend boyfriend package deal. 

“I thought I saw you the happiest when you were with Jack but... this is a whole different level. Your ass is literally glowing and smiling all the time.”

“I never thought for a second that we would end up together, but I’m happy we did.”

“The person you were supposed to be with was right in front of your face the entire time. And I’m happy you realized your worth.”

“And I also have you to thank for that. Making sure I knew how important it was to do the best thing for me."

Just then the receptionist came over and asked you and Neelam if you wanted a glass of red or white wine while you got your nails done.

“I’ll take red, what do you want Y/N?”

“Oh, none for me, thanks though.”

“Umm, since when do you turn down wine? Or any alcohol for that matter?"

All you could do was smirk at Neelam before her eyes trailed down to your stomach.

“Are you serious?! Since when?!”

“It’s still early so we didn’t want to tell a lot of people, but yes.”

“Please tell me I can plan the baby shower.”

You simply scoffed before smiling at her.

“Well, the godmother is allowed to do what ever she desires to help me get ready for the little one.”

“I really am happy for you, Y/N. It was a struggle, but you got your happy ending.”

“And I have my best friend to thank for that.”

Tag list:

@harlowsbby

@babyharleezy

@hoodharlow

@stefansalvatoresgf

@jackiehollanderr

@primadxna-girl

@dessmxsworld

@cockslutslurper3000

@raelorns21

@variety-fangirl

@gbaabyyyy

@kamorsstuff

@sinsandsuccubus

#urban wyatt #urban wyatt x reader #urban wyatt fic #urban wyatt x black reader #urban wyatt x you #urban wyatt x y/n #urban wyatt fluff #jack harlow #jack harlow x you #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x black reader #jack harlow fic #jack harlow x y/n

[lowkeiloki]

kung fu panda 4 review - spoiler free

it was solid, not as good as the first three movies, but the og triology set the bar so high even a 'not as good' movie is still a fun watch. The animation is beautiful and you get quite a bunch of awesome action scenes out of it

zhen is a lot more likable when not voiced by awkwafina (croatian dub saved me ✊️) but even that wont save her from her character being pretty bland. ironically the same criticism for her design could be applied for her character as well, not bad, likable enough, just fails to stand out and ive seen it done better a lot of times already

chameleon... oh boy... so much potential, such incredible built up, such luckluster execution... ill talk more abt her in spoiler section, but honestly she was the weakest link of the movie

dont get your hopes up for furious five, they only really exist as a cameo, what you will get is mr ping and li being a very married couple and personally if theres anything worth seeing the movie for its them (still im hoping for at least a short abt the furious five, cmon theyve been non existent since kfp 3)

the pacing was too fast, and there were too many comedic and too little serious moments, glad im not the only one that noticed

ive seen a lot of complaints about tai lung and other past villains not being in the movie enough, but honestly im happy for that bc its not their movie, they all had their own movies to shine and i really feared this movie would rely too much on them to carry the hype and im glad that wasnt the case. PLEASE stop asking film studios to spoonfeed you familiar content

end of spoiler free review, spoilers under cut

the chameleon rant

you know, i believe the kfp movies are heavily carried by their villains. they're the ones that set the tone, bring the stakes, and not only are they a foe for po to defeat but represent his internal conflict (tai lung being self acceptance, shen being overcoming grief and kai being self discovery) so to have the villain be the movie's weakest spot is... not great at all

firsty, the chameleon is the first movie villain in the franchise to not have any beef with any of the main characters (like tai lung had with shifu, lord shen with po and kai with oogway) and that couldve been great, give us a villain that doesnt care about po or anyone else and is just doing their own thing, its something new and an unexplored territory, but then they do nothing with it.

what does she want? to rule the valley of peace? all of china? ok and then what? the city shes already rulling doesnt look like its doing too bad to me. why should i care about her being defeated? yeah shes mean, but where are the STAKES

and how does she reflect po's conflict? because its about accepting change and she's a chameleon? weak, that only connect on paper and only barely. is it how she was never accepted to train kung fu because of her size? that's such a lame motive. really? not a single kung fu place wanted to take you in for your size? in a franchise full of all the different characters of all different shapes and sizes being kung fu masters? yeah ok sure

what i did like about her is how they made her get her way through manipulation and intimidation. she's not strong, she's not a skilled fighter, she's not inherently scary, but she uses smoke and mirrors to intimidate people around her and manipulative tactics to get her henchmen to listen which ties nicely into her shapeshifting abilities, just wish theyve done more with it, show us how she spreads horror stories about herself, show us the influence she has over the townspeople, show us just how manipulative she is of zhen, hell have her be all kind and nice to her in moments to bait her to stay under her wing (yk as abusive parents do)

nothing much more i have to say so spoiler part was rly just abt the chameleon but i needed to rant abt her more in depth bc i had high hopes for her

#kung fu panda #kung fu panda 4

[brb-on-a-quest]

What's one of your favorite childhood memories?

Hello, friend, good to see you, even if you do hide in the shadows. Hope you are well. <3

Let me tell you about a time I fell in love with storytelling all over again. I grew up on stories; I loved having my dad read to me when I was little (we read Narnia books, the Hobbit, the Lord of the Rings, Robin Hood, etc. I loved *all* of it). I loved the stories of found families and tight friendships like it was my bread and butter because I hadn't made any friends I could get closed to bc family moved around a lot (a decision I don't resent my family for now, but despised as a kid), and I wasn't really *that* close to my family either due to probably a variety of factors, not excluding mental health issues. I won't delve for the sake of length, you get the point. I was a sad and lonely child and my closest friends were imaginary. Anyway back to more concrete events:

We had just moved from Florida to Virginia, which is about 1000 miles away and over 13 hour drive (for context), and we had just started a new co-op (think like homeschool school, but it only met like once a week, it was one of the ways we'd start building up a new social circle or something). And one of the classes I took in was something music (more likely theater? related but that might have a different semester) and the first week of this co-op I remember they gave us a bingo card with a bunch of famous movie soundtracks and they told us we were going to identify the movie based on the song alone.

I got 2/20 or something bc I hadn't even heard of most of these movies bc i just hadn't been exposed to it. It was things like Batman, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, maybe spongebob- pop culture stuff that I just hadn't seen. So everyone else was getting excited and I was feeling more and more out of the loop and alone.

I swear this turns happy at the end, bear with me, anon. They play the final music track and I don't recognize it at all but it fills me with such great joy and a call for a new adventure that I hadn't even realized music could do that before (we didn't listen to a lot of our own music growing up, it was mainly whatever my parents found appropriate or what my dad liked).

It was How To Train Your Dragon. Test Drive. John Powell. And then like the musical scores, they showed the scene it was from. A boy and his dragon racing, flying through the air. And I fell in love With the characters arcs per se, but I could tell there was a deep lore there and a story of friendship that I craved so much. It was also right up my alley with stories my Dad had read me so there was also that. But like the music was fantastic, I really liked the visuals at the time (i usually hate most 3D animation films, HTTYD is the exception), and I craved the story behind it.

I saved up money from Birthday and Christmas and ended up buying it. And I watched it. And I fell in love even harder. Cause, in some sense, I related to hiccup too much. I was a creative person, like he was, I had very little friends like he did at the beginning, we had similar senses of humor at some points, and he was fascinated with knowing and learning things. And he had a big dragon friend and i again craved that friendship deeply. So he added to the crew of imaginary friends and I went on many imaginary adventures with Hiccup and Toothless and told myself so many stories that I wish I could remember now for writing inspo.

I ended up moving from Virginia to middle of nowhere Midwest US (not saying where in case the Fey Find Out), and I did end up meeting my IRL Toothless. A little bit scary on the outside at firsts, but with an actual heart of a silly, goofy, dragon. (brb, im getting emotional just thinking about it. It'd be about 7 years now? Coming up? I may be bad at math. I feel old and happy and content.)

So yeh, in short it was a very much right place, right time kind of story and film. I still watch it a lot whenever I need a comfort film that's not as long as LOTR or something. I love the soundtrack and all of the things about it. Sorry, this was probably way longer than it should've been but IDK how to describe my love for this story without giving you some context.

#brb-backstory #brb-life #brb-asks

[torchickentacos]

15 Questions!

Tagged by @gaycey-sketchit !!!!! Thank you so much for the tag, and I loved reading yours! Long post, sorry lol.

1. Are you named after anyone? Nope! Not to my knowledge, anyways. Though if my mom told me that she named me after Taylor Hawkins from Foo Fighters, I would not be shocked.

2. When was the last time you cried? I think monday? I cry really often, at every single emotion. Happy? I'm going to cry about it. Laughing? My high school theatre class would always point out when they made me cry laugh. Sad? ABSOLUTELY crying about that. I didn't cry but I DID tear up yesterday because I was really happy about something nice someone said to me.

3. Do you have kids? Nope, and no intention of having them. Regardless of my desire to or not (usually not, being the oldest of four is enough for me), my health is not, and never will be, in an acceptable position or ability to go through that, and I've accepted that for a while now.

4. What sports do you play/have you played? As a kid, I played soccer and did gymnastics! In middle school, I BRIEFLY did fencing. My mom told me that when I was fencing is the only time she's ever seen me look truly graceful (lmao, love my mom dw. She's right). Then health stuff came up and I had to stop, but fencing just came as easily to me as breathing did. I always wonder where I'd be if I could have stuck with it. Nothing's ever immediately clicked with me the way fencing did, but it's hell on my joints.

5. Do you use sarcasm? Sometimes, usually when I'm annoyed which isn't TOO often. Or if I'm being hyperbolic for a joke.

6. What is the first thing you notice about people? No clue. I guess their demeanor- if they seem happy or not, if they look stressed, how they're feeling (or how I perceive them as feeling, I guess).

7. What's your eye color? Blue! My friend swears up and down that they're kind of green. I think she's colorblind.

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings!!! I am not built for scary movies. I can do some buzzfeed unsolved and I can watch markiplier play indie horror games but that's kind of my limit. I LOVE some types of horror, but my anxiety does not. I will be paranoid for a month after.

9. Any talents? I can play music by ear. Give me a guitar and a random song and ten minutes at most!

10. Where were you born?

11. What are your hobbies? Landscape/scenery art (also other art but it's much harder), writing, playing guitar (used to play piano too but not well. I also own a ukulele that I'm bad at, but generally I can play something on any instrument you give me). But mostly, I pick up and put down hobbies all the time. I've dabbled in crochet, embroidery, sewing, painting, archery, coding, needle felting, gardening, cooking, a little bit of everything. Never long enough to get good at most of them, though. I get bored too quickly.

12. Do you have any pets? A lovely husky (shelter girlie <3) and a gecko! And, for the gecko, a bunch of crickets at any given point in time, which I guess counts because I have to take care of them, too.

13. How tall are you? 5'2 and a half. 5'4 with my doc martens.

14. Favorite subject in school? Assuming lunch doesn't count, I was a theatre girlie. Assuming THAT doesn't count, English. I liked English because if I didn't have an answer, I could just bullshit one, but I usually did enjoy it and had real answers. I'll tell you why the curtains are blue and why they're the specific fabric they are and what the rest of the room means- if I'm interested, anyways.

15. Dream job? Oh boy, uh. Still trying to figure that out. DREAM job, like, without worrying about money or my physical ability to do it? Pro fencer, but I gave up on that a looong time ago. I genuinely believe I could have done it if my knee hadn't gone to shit at fourteen. I'd love to work in a record store or a music store, though, which is a little more in-reach.

Tagging: Anyone who sees this, lmk if you do it from this post!! But also, NO PRESSURE AT ALL but @soulsilversprings @nowandevermore @lostlegendaerie @mozukumi !!! Also whoever else wants to, I get nervous to tag people so assume you're tagged, too!

#taylor's tag #long post #thank you for the tag andrew!!!!

[tofautisawa]

Hello‚ KuraMonody's author here. First of all thanks for mentioning Hasani in that hyena character post, it made me really happy :3

I wanted to jump in this lion "discourse" because I'm salty haha. I only have watched a few clips of My Pride but never fully watched because I picked up some red flags even before the drama came out so I'm surprised it was promoted as "realistic" lion media. I Hope So handles the same concept way better I think.

I'm getting off track here‚ what I wanted to say is‚ when it comes to lion media I think people tend to be obsessed with the idea that it should be 100% realistic even if what they believe is actually fake. If people belive MP is accurate then they will stick to MP. There's a pattern to this‚ with TLK for example‚ there's this wild belief that Scar/ Mufasa's is 100% Nala father or that Scar should be the atractive one of the brothers even tho those movies are about singing lions and you can tell it's purely fictional‚ but for some reason people are convinced some stuff should be super accurate to real life.

Then there's the fake widely known facts. I got a bunch of comments about how male lions don't hunt even tho they DO and they were nomads so it's logical that they would hunt. People tend to have those facts as completely true‚ just like saying hyenas are pure scavengers or something. Also they once forget things can be different in xenofiction.

I think another problem that contributes to the Tau slander is that the lion is a symbol of strenght. The King of the Jungle‚ all that thing. Is such an ideolized animal that people just get pissy when someone like Tau gets introduced. It also doesn't help that sensitive‚ anxious and shy male characters are seen as weak and not desirable which is totally stupid. I have watched a lot of comments insulting male characters like that‚ also complaining about why a strong girl would like that kind of male character even tho having a good heart should be enough. So between Tau being a lion and a shy male character‚ he gets double hate.

This is all kinda sad honestly.

Thanks for reading all of this if you did‚ I only have a fandom account so that's why Im going anon. I had to spit out my frustration.

Yo! I had to mention Hasani, he is such a cute character. I love him!

As for the whole realism stuff, I think people consider My Pride as "realistic" is mostly because of how brutal it can be if you ignore the advertising. Whenever fans defend the "realism", they mostly mention the infanticide and act like people can't question it's inclusion or think it doesn't make sense considering the circumstances and kind of ignore everything else. I seen this a lot with DetectiveCalico's review of the show as well as one of the shitposts of Proud killing the cubs while the lionesses shrug. Personally, I am not bothered by the fact that infantcide was included in the story in general ( and also I would be a massive fucking hypocrite if I did), but mostly on HOW it's presented in the story that bugs me more than anything.

I honestly don't care if things aren't 100% realistic ( I'm not 17 anymore) because let's face it, you HAVE to take liberties in order to tell a story. I try to get as much accurate behavior and information as I can in my comic because hyenas are some amazing creatures, but it's not gonna be 100% realistic because let's face it, a lot of shit that happens in Tofauti Sawa wouldn't happen in real life and I have kind of broken out of certain things over the years because I am not nearly as jaded as I used to be. Tofauti Sawa is actually the only story I want to do that operates like this. But I feel like if you are gonna have a completely fantasy story like My Pride that features things like actual goddesses, curses, and lion gods controlling the weather-the creator really should act like this is some grounded realistic story because it isn't but you have now bought attention to how the lions and their behavior is gonna be portrayed and people will most likely point it out when it's incorrect. I think this is pretty much why I tend to rag on The Lion Guard whenever it tries to be educational but would then get it's information incorrect. "Common Knowledge really." is so funny when Ono says something wrong. lol

(I had another whole ass example right here but decided to remove it because this post is getting too long.)

Though I must point out no matter what, people will often question things in universe or point out things related to the real life animal to how they are shown in fiction- it's pretty unavoidable but I don't think a majority of people are being malicious about it and treat it more like trivia than anything at least I hope. Like how Clownfish work in comparison to Finding Nemo for example. Some people will mention that while also being aware that there is no fucking way they are gonna put parent-child incest in this movie for the sake of "realism".

And honestly, I never really thought of Tau's species being a contributing factor to the whole thing other than the whole "role" aspect of it all. So that is another interesting way to look at it.

But yeah, thank you so much for your insight and input on the matter and keep up good work with the comic!

#ask