#i dont know if thatll help

[sage-is-in-fact-very-tired]

sleepover part two with krit, theo, moki, cella, *AND* gyn??? all of my little guys together in a room????? for me???? /lh /vvpos /silly guy

#oh thisll be so fun #i dont know if gyn and krit have talked since jormun #mmmm /pos #thatll be fun #i dont think krit and cella have talked *at all* #also fun #im sure thisll go fine am sure none of them will be worried and im sure all of it will be fine- #krit is so okay actually /sarc #abraxas just ominous smiled at us this will all be fine- #a tag to help find my own posts

[agent37]

im still rotating her.............................................. anyway. um. assorted doodles, rambles, and notes. im unwell.

THERES SO MUCH TEXT..., attempt at a text transcription under readmore

numbered them because. oh my god theres no other way i could do it. i really hope those numbers are big enough. SOBS.

[1. the ermy]

[2. scrombles her... sneefles.]

[3. free space normal :3]

[4. chaparral boy? this is just like harleen quinzel..... sniffles (I'm unwell)]

[5. auuuuuuuuu -> joker time baybee -> (realization) -> PROFIT?]

[6. hermie needs some sort of (thing) if he wants a harley arc. unstable harley works but also if she's used as a metaphor for his getting better??? i need to bite someone]

[7. bleached + dyed green]

[8. green mainly faded. blondie....]

[9. heart...]

[10. a bit more real]

[11. hairs grown out a bit since]

[12. slimy little fuck]

[13. kys.]

[14. btas w/o diamonds basically]

#hermie the unworthy #hermie the unworthy fanart #dndads hermie #dndads #dndads fanart #yar. thatll do. sneefles. #SORRY I KEEP ROTATING HERMIE QUINN IN MY MIND #AUUUUUUUUUU GIRLBOY.................. SNIFFLES. #THE POTENTIAL OF HARLEY ARC BEING A SYMBOL FOR A SEPARATION AND DEVELOPMENT FROM THE JOKER...... #he either needs to be more corrupted by his surroundings [the harleen to harley pipeline] #or more. how do i say. helped??? maybe ? he needs to be . i dont know how to say it. but you know what i mean. he needs to understand? #harley becoming a better person after realizing that joker is a TERRIBLE fucking guy. and learns to love and respect herself. THAT. #either villain harley or anti-hero/vigilante harley. both are possible hermie quinn arcs............ sniffles. #sorry ive literally had him rotating in my mind-crowave since that original post was posted. im love her.

[dramamines]

car seat headrest has literally soundtracked the main discoveries in my life omg

Teens of Denial: Discovering my personality and who I am. I listened to it so much while I was working out my interests and who I wanted to be, as well as who my friends were and who I could trust

Twin Fantasy: discovering the fact that I'm queer, listened during my first relationship and breakup. Soundtrack to discovering I'm lesbian, and for when I delved the weird depths of the internet for comfort

How to Leave Town: I've listened to this album so much recently its concerning. It seems to be my gender identity crisis album and I'm here for it

#wonder what ill figure out next #and what album thatll be #i know the concepts of these albums dont fit with what i discovered #but they are what personally helped me #ballena rambles #csh #car seat headrest

[moldwood]

okay so ill keep it short! my well broke! i have no water. its completely dried up and a new one needs to be dug, and that is very expensive. i have ocd so being unable to wash my hands and shower freely is extremely distressing, to say nothing of the fact that i cannot cook or do anything that would need water. i have stockpiled up on some foods that dont need water to make, but tldr;

i need to move!! im looking at apartments already, but having to get that food took a chunk out of what i had saved. its looking like ill need about $600 to cover the rest of the first months rent and security deposit.

💀 if you can, please consider sending a little help my way at p*yp*l.me/nouveaumoon. absolutely anything helps

all i have is word of mouth to help spread this bc of our beloved tunglr sniping these types of posts when theyre tagged so even just a reblog is appreciated

#my paycheck next week ought to be able to cover the cost of moving itself if i can get my brothers to help me if i pay for their gas #i dont have much so its nothing their two trucks wouldnt be able to move. tbh a bigger concern is my car making it #bc its on deaths door. ill have to lease if it breaks down but cest la vie id rather have no car than no water #i would post a pic for proof but like. what proof is there. i can take a pic of the empty overflow outside #but city slickers wouldnt know what theyre lookin at. ptewey *spits into a metal jug and it goes ptwing* #once work clears up and my everything heals i can open emergency comms but thatll be a little while. so for now #😔🎉

[dullahandyke]

Anyway needless to say, college is showing me a whole slew of people who are using laptops in school for the first time and they're so bad at it. They're so bad at taking notes too. They're so bad at everything

#im a hater today but its helping. ill get a caramel shortcake and thatll help more #ANYWAY STOP TAKING DOWN THE TEXT ON THE POWERPOINTS VERBATIM!!!!!!!! #THEYRE UP ON CANVAS PAY ATTENTION TO THE LECTURER INSTEAD!!! #(im haterposting instead of listening but im keeping an ear out. theyre defining bildungsromans rn) #their typing speeds are so slow and for most i would assume its inexperience #in which case i ask why are you switching to a laptop instead of using a notebook!!!!! #plus they mistreat their laptops so badly. so full of bloatware. some of them are even mac users #(honestly idk that much abt macs specifically. maybe theyre gr8. but i hate and kill apple) #give your laptops to me ill treat them right.... ill feed them ill clean up after them.... #and you just know that tech disasters are gonna befall so many of them bcos tech skills are on a downslope #like i dont look it bcos i tote around the same 2 notebooks and take like 3 bullet points max of notes per lecture #but ive been using a laptop for school going on 7 years i know my shit!!! #and theyre heavy to carry around and generally only worth it if you plan on doing a LOT of typing #which for ordinary lectures im not!!!! im not taking down every word on the powerpoint like a dipshit!!! #if i bring my laptop im either planning on writing some essay shit or not paying attention during class #anyway thats my little rant. its alright im allowed

[iamfabiloz]

THIS WORLD IS SO CRUEL... NO SYMPATHY FOR THIS POOR SOUL!!!!

edit: I ended up getting it… peace and love on planet earth

#codysight noises #being over dramatic bc a seller on etsy closed shop for a bit and I WAS ABOUT TO BUY THE MEGATRON BODY PILLOW THEY WERE SELLING #IM SO UPSET AND DEVASTATED #i was hyping myself up and excited bc i wanted it so badly and my dad said we could buy it today but #IT WAS NOT TO BEEE #im looking at one of those booby mouse pads of bowser tho so WAA maybe thatll fill my heart rn #u dont know how heartbroken i am #I WANTED TO HUG PILLOWTRON #I WAS LITERALLY KICKING MY FEET AND GIGGLING at the thought of getting it #this is my thirteenth reason #venting #I GUESS??? #biting clawing kicking #i should have bought it yesterday kmssssssss #the pillow was so good quality and had mtmte megs on the front and tfp megs on the back butt view #IT WAS SO COOL I GRAHH #never wanted smth so badly and no it gone for an indeterminate amount of time #ill never be complete till its in my arms being snuggled NOW I UNDERSTAND PPL WHO LIKE MERCH OF THEIR SILLIES #i dont even have it atm and i already so emotional over it #why am i crying n tearing up over this HELP MEBAH

[pending-trans-action-2]

.

#i think i need to just scream #maybe thatll help #i just saw an image on my dash thats made me wanna throw up its just some dumb meme i think but fucking hell it speaks a little too directly #to me and i feel like im hallucinating because theres no way it just. says that. its so specific #and now that i KNOW i have something truly genuinely wrong with me i cant trust anything i want to cry i want to be gone forever #i should have died then. instead im still here with my grim bloodied hands in everyones lives and now they wont let me leave #i just want it to stop!!! i want it all to stop!!! forever!!! #i dont care if youd miss me!!! i dont care if ANYONE would miss me!!! im in perpetual torture that will never end so long as i breathe!!! #i just want to be fucking gone!!!!! and i cant!!!!! because it would break his heart and its all my fault!!!!! #i shouldve stayed out of his life it would have been better that way. for both of us.

[aria0fgold]

If there's anything that I noticed bout my writing recently is that I realized that I'm actually pretty good at jumping around dodging something but it still comes out flowing well in the story anyway. Like, I make something both vague yet clear enough for anyone to understand.

#aria rants #im mostly talkin bout stuff i have no clear knowledge about #like with that jokid oneshot i posted. i dont know the streets around shibuya #and i only just finished futabas arc at that time too #but by writing ''outside of shibuya'' and ''futaba's recovery'' the setting is clear #i did the same thing with the mhyk fic i just finished too. vague yet clear #and ngl it helps a TON for me somehow. cuz when i was writing my omori fics #i was describing nearly everything in the scene and struggled so badly cuz of it #cuz i used up the majority of my brainpower visualizing the scenes #when i couldve just used a simple description and anyone couldve understood #so with this newfound discovery. im going to use it a lot. well actually #im gonna use it whenever it can be applied thatll still flow well in the story

[auggieoof]

Feeling silly might tell my grandparents I’m trans again for the millionth time even though they have nothing but hate for trans people :):))))))):):)):)

#trans #please help me #i dont know why i do this #it feels like a bomb in my chest thatll explode if i dont tell them #they already know but they dont care

[shadyhouse]

i have to go off of hrt for the first time in three years because i ran out of syringes and i dont have insurance anymore so im going to have to order bulk online but its going to cost $100+ for everything i need. which i dont have because i live paycheck to paycheck. i literally got paid TODAY and it was one of the biggest paychecks ive seen since ive started this job and it immediately had to go to bills.

i cant switch jobs either because i dont have transportation and it's my best option for keeping myself afloat. i cant ask for a raise because it's a retail big box store. like they might give me 10 extra cents to pity me if i don't start a fight about it but it'll never get better than that. every time i look on indeed or whatever it's all stuff thats a 20+ minute drive completely off the bus route like ????

im extremely unmedicated too (not including the hrt lol) so that just makes everything harder to the extreme. im ready to give up. like what else is there for me. there's nothing left. im at the point where i keep thinking i mind as well just move back in with my dad and rot in my old bedroom because im losing faith in myself that i'll be able to get out of this hole. the absolute last thing i ever want to do btw. but if things keep getting worse i dont know if i'll have a choice. and im really really really dreading that outcome. i need to fix my life asap but the system is making it INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT to even plan it out.

if anyone knows how to build a budget id really appreciate some help because i have dyscalculia and it sucks to be talked down to about my inability to comprehend numbers, but im really not THAT bad with my finances its just that i made some bad decisions when i had a higher paying job and i'm having trouble pulling myself out of the hole. i can follow a budget if i have one set but i've been really struggling with making it myself. idk. im mad at myself okay im just really upset and i want to fix my life.

this turned into a rambling rant but im in a really bad mood rn and i needed to just. unload. its either this or ugly cry for an hour

#its just venting im like one bad day away from having a full breakdown and even then its not like thatll help or fix anything #i just dont know what to do anymore dude there's nothing left. what do i even do now. nothing matters #im also looking for someone to help me build a budget because i have dyscalculia and its a struggle for me to actually MAKE the budget #but im more than capable of following it once i have it set up. if i think of my finances like im in a video game its a lot easier for me

[horrorwebs]

i left her house and party without telling her how i feel or attempting to make a move i feel like the stupidest motherfucker alive

#like. that was my chance. it was THE chance. why am i such a fucking coward #its not like i didnt want to but i couldnt find the way thwre was too many peoñle and i wanted it to be private #so we LEFT for WALK on her NEIGHBOURHOOD that was MY CHANCE. we went to the little park with the swings i REALLY WAS ABOUT TO SAY STH #WHEN ONE OF THE GUYS AT THE PARTY AND HER COUSIN ARRIVED B #TO PICK US UP BY CAR BC SHE HAD TO BLOW THE CANDLES #(<- the party was her birthday cellebration) #like really idk how i am a. so unlucky and b. such a pussy #i think i shouldve been a bit more drunk to have told her right away.but i Was working my way through it to tell her it was just hard yknow #im scared ill ruin things if she rejects me. and i feel like she wants to be with me sometimes and that she likes me. #but other times i feel like im just being insane and she will simply reject me #i think her cousin noticed i like her though. (i dont think this is too hard to notice anyway) maybe thatll help? idk. #half the world thinks we are together and i have to wonder why arent we?i like her n i think she likes me (or at least she has in the past) #so whats stopping us? the fact we r in a band together and want a future on that might be something. she has also told my friend she values #the friendship too much or sth like that (my friend doesnt remember very well) but that then means she does like me! but also shell reject #me possibly! or will she? who knows?!! #anyway i think it wouldnt be that bug of a problem anyway for the band if we are mature about it. even it it doesnt work and we decide its #better as friends in a future. i dont think anything she does or i do will be as bad as 'point of no return bad'. #i believe in us. and i feel like the sappiest mf alive too #but see if youve read this far i think you might understand why im such a coward and so scared of telling her i like her #but i was so close of just bljrting it out or kissing her. i did kiss a bit her neck.... sorry lol. but nothing too um .sexual? it was like #peck. but you ask and how did that happen? well see. we were sleeping together. like on top of each other hugging. my face was on her #collarbone. so i was like there. but i dont think she tought much of it sometimes we kiss each others cheeks or whatever and its just like #or maybe she did. there were pther people on the room anyway so ot was like . weird as well bc of that #idk ots just a very ambiguous zone in which i will die forever if i dont work up some courage #this posts always turn onto rants but i dont speak much about her with my friends unless they ask +im a bit drunk.it embarrasses me greatly #spikeposting #loveposting

[fauna-and-floraa]

If any Aussie stays or maybe even kiwi stays are looking to pre-order the new album it's currently 45 ish bucks from Sanity + 8 dollars postage, whereas it's $72.99 from jbhifi which ??? Idk why it's so expensive there... so that's a tip if you didn't know already :)

#idk how helpful this is maybe theres somewhere else better #but ya #also jbhifi ???? literally got 5 star from them for 54 so ???? why the price jump #god i know the kids are getting popular but im praying they dont end up with bts prices here bc the bts albums #at jbhifi are 90-100 like ????? #idk who payin that but surely not me #also sanity is throwing in a free photocard gift I Think #so ya :) #also yeah its 20 bucks intl shipping so kiwis maybe thatll be helpful to you ?

[sag-dab-sar]

Hello, I know that this is not really a question, but I just wanted to tell you that if you are interested in sources regarding Mesopotamian religion and mythology, the blog https://yamayuandadu.tumblr.com/ will probably be very useful for you, it is the most approachable person with in-depth knowledge of the subject and has various articles and such (this is all assuming you don't already know them, in which case this information would be a bit useless)

Nope. I reblogged & followed that individual and immediately after I did, instead of just blocking me, they wrote an entire post about how they do not respect revive polytheist religions and that you shouldn't follow them or interact with them if thats your intent. They were an unnecessary asshole, remembering it and remembering how many likes they got specially by shitting on my religion just makes me anxious so they are blocked and their name is on my filter list so that I don't see reblogs of their posts. I avoid the anxiety which is sad because they do have an incredible amount of resources. But assholes will be assholes and there are a lot of them when it comes to religion. I went back to find the post and can't since I deleted my reblog of it but they must have deleted theirs eventually since I can't find it in their archives—only the post I made after it x.

#nope #they call themselves -esteemed- which is a red flag anyways #yes i use old sources and their judgmental about it but guess what some of us don't fucking have access to the latest and greatest #albeit i am considering a subscription into deepdyve which will be extremely helpful in learning new info #and making posts when im actually able to #because the blood patch stopped working so i dont know when thatll be #gods this gave me anxiety not your fault tho #okay to comment 🤍 #kinda hilarious that my reblog directly before this is about pagans/polytheists not recognizing that research is hard #completely unintentional

[tiredrobin]

mrrr

#its a weird feeling to know tht like #idk. someone doesnt rly wanna interact with u #or believing it at least #thats what it seems like #chews on my knuckle. im tryin super hard not to let it get to me i wanna respect their space as much as possible #lil hard tho. i cant tell how much of it is my anxiety or what. idk whats goin on. im not... good at reading ppl irl #but they dont rly look at me or talk to me anymore so i dont think its all in my head #idk!!! not everything is abt me. nobody owes me anything. i just need to rember that #its just. just sucks. mrrrr. thought we were friends i guess. but! its ok. not everyones gonna get along w me. i accept that #mantra of no one owes me anything fhsjgjdgjdjggjdjs #whine whine complain whine #lemme sound needy online surely thatll help me feel less anxious abt all this surely

[im-still-a-robot]

i think...you should make a neocities for your dnd character >:)

I am hanging this ask above my desk like homer simpson. By god I am going to struggle through the back pain and headaches to make this neocities for you my dear friend. Thank you.

#i dont get enough asks to have a designated tag for them #wacky watermelons #dnd #neocities isnt causing the back pain and headaches but it isn't helping lol. although i supose most things aren't #i tried to make a neocities in july but i don't know html and didn't have time to learn #but for you. for you my friend. i will try again #first i need to get my page looking okay and then i can create and link eddie's #but once i get one down the other should be okay. yk learning and then applying skills #still have no idea how to do 90% of these things but documentation and trial and error are just enough for me to get by #and also maybe reading some lessons. thatll probably help the most #anyway itll be a fun surprise for my dnd group if i do end up completing it

[t-urbulence]

next year i want

to learn 10 languages (i did start 10 duolingo courses yesterday so like)

read 12 books (i havent read a book since high school)

watch 52 movies (eh)

get a tattoo! (but only if the TLOU show is good)

get rollerskates uwu

get back into biking

get back into drawing?

write sumn idk

not get a mental breakdown every three months especially before funkytown in february

i will go to austria, england, wales, and denmark in february (and march) in one big trip and i would. love to not. be a problem. :)

get a lavalamp

#lavalamp has been on my new years list every year #and i never got one #also eating disorder tw but i did decide that im gonna lose 30kg which is #a LOT #and i want to do it by being literally stupid so #thatll be fun #its okay my therapist knows #so its her responsibility now x) #i told her i was like #just so you know #i Will starve myself starting from january x'') #personal #it sucks because i know that i want to do it but in the same time #im scared that she will abandon me if i dont look like i want help #which i do #but i dont want to NOT do it because im scared she will abandon me (which she said she wont but whos to say) #i want to Not want to do it because of me #but i dont care about me #starve the bitch #like i care lmao #anyway so clearly my mental health journey is going Great