#i feel weird saying that bc idk but id feel weirder not saying anything??? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

zushimart · 8 months

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hi idk if this is a weird ask or not bc im half asleep but i just wanted to say that i started following u on my old blog in late 2022 like maybe december and your posts about bpd scara made me feel so seen. i wasn't diagnosed then but it was recently on the table as a diagnosis for me all of a sudden and it was terrifying because i feel like pwbpd are demonized and hated everywhere i look. and just like scrolling thru ur bpd scara tag was like looking at a diary of my own mind or smth. so it was really new to me to see someone talk about borderline as something that brings love and pain into our lives and not just as some scary evil-people diagnosis. like ur definitely my fav writer on this app by far but also u make me feel really validated in my emotions i guess? wow idk sorry like i actually have no idea how to describe it but hopefully u can read minds ‼️ 🤞 i have since been diagnosed with bpd with a criteria score of 9/9 so 😳 idk where id be rn in september 2023 if i hadn't sort of started to learn to love myself from your writings exploring a character. so yea this is probably a strange ask so feel free to ignore it. also im going on anon bc im scared of interacting w ppl. ALSO U R SO FUNNY ND YOUR HUMOR/RANDOM FUNNY TAGS FEEL SO SIMILAR TO MY INTERNAL MONOLOGUE

this is such an open & genuine thing to say to me . i like had to sit with it for a second because it was so .. idk like how to communicate it . my devaluation of ths blog is pretty frequent, treating it sort of like a big boy version of the 2000s children’s diaries with locks.. my thoughts tossed in here nd piled nd piled nd piled, endlessly messy. nd it objectively is a writing blog , like yeah, on a surface level, i own& maintain a writing blog, but i would never tell people that. when people ask my hobbies i always say writing & ill show them my poetry pieces but i never tell them i have a blog because im kind of embarrassed by the very seriously delusional self indulgence i pour into this thing . but then i hear about.. like, for ex. we learned ab and have to maintain our own commonplace book in class, which is essentially where people collected anything and everything they felt needed to be archived from their day and tucked it into the pages of a journal . like how thomas jefferson’s commonplace book will have his serious philosophical & political ramblings side by side a recipe for cornbread because it was just a place to put everything big & small . the practical & the theoretical. just, whatever Means something to u. and leisure, indulgence, pleasure r concepts just as important as virtues imo. anyway i say all this to say that what u said to me makes me want to treat everything better, even this place. it like, makes me feel really proud of my writing& analyses that i might normally b quick to label as inconsequential or childlike because im scared people will think i care too much about something so culturally insignificant. but i do care!! obviously!! a lot. i was like kind of bummed today for a number of reasons frm feeling a bit isolated to feeling like living out my principles& ideals (connecting w community, peer centered thinking etc etc) is almost impossible because im sooo freaking shitty at social convention. so when u sent this in & i read it, it was almost like when ur spacing out nd someone snaps 🫰🫰 in front of ur face to get ur attn. so busy trying 2 b significant to someone to realize that u Already are significant in a myriad of little ways. that it’s not something u search for or insert urself into but rather an inevitable outcome of existing. Anyway . not to b sentimental but i wanted 2 b as candid with u because i really did think it was sweet of u to share & im really happy that i was able 2 positively shape & support a little space of ur life because really thats all i ever want to do. Soooooooooo if ur ask was weird then my response is even weirder. Handwritten thank u:

#And what kind of boyfriend would i be if i didnt support my girlfriend with beautiful princess disorder #i think its just a fact of loving someone that even the most frustrating things ab them can b beautiful #or that for every weakness there’s an equally intense strength like sides of a coin #My response to this ask would b so much more impactful if i didnt constantly make dick and ball and sex jokes on this damn blawwg #happy tag

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irl-f4iry · 2 years

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babbling distract myself :D

hi hi im in history now. im thinking about how im gonna type without my teacher seeing. class room is set up weird today bc of the last period doing;knbljvhiycgtuxfzdSZTDxyucfigoptoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooufry68tde574s6ztdxxxxxxxxxxxeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeddx

im feeling rlly tired and bored. im gonna do absolutely no work in this class. apparently we arent taking notes so idc. i wish i had earbuda for this computer. are there like reverse adaptors? like instead of a lightning jack its like the little stick jack for computers. then i wouldnt have to wear the over the head ones. i only like the rlly fat cushion ones. not the school computer ones. they make me look so much weirder. idk school is fine at the moment. ive been doing better w school work n stuff so thats cool. plus my parents r giving me permission for stuff so thats good too. idk if im gonna hang w my friend today. i feel like im socially drained maybe. like yesterday was rlly fun but then my OTHER friend (the gf of the first friend) came over which was cool but i didnt even get to hang out with her. i knew it was gonna happen too which is kinda the only thing i guess i dont like about them dating. they are both my best friends. they were both seperate ppl in my life yk? like they didnt even know each other but i knew them seperately yk? and im super super close w both of them. but now that theyre dating, i feel weird being close friends with him because everything makes her jealous. and im not blaming her at all bc im the same way but im just saying anything i do with him will seem flirty to her. she wont get mad at me for it either which makes me feel even more guilty. it doesnt help that he used to be in love with me for like 6 years so of course shed be bothered. idk i feel like a bad person. im being stingy yk. like he was my friend first. she was my friend first. now they have each other n its like ubjrfh berhbfj r. and my cousin is like my sister. i feel like she doesnt even enjoy my company as much anymore. i know she loves me its just sometimes i feel unwanted. like ill ask her if she wants to hang out and shell be like im sorry my social battery is done rn or shell say she has homework or that her mom doesnt want too many ppl over. but then our 2 friends would be over there not too long after and its just like dude just say you dont want me there? i would be less bothered if she just said that yk? idk maybe its not what im thinking at all and im just overthinking it. idk what else do i talk abt? ummmmmmmmmmmm oh i think im supposed to be writing an essay rn. to be honest i have no clue what im supposed to be doing in this class. i wanna go home. idk if im gonna go to my last period. i thijnk im just gonna go home. my friend tries to encourage me to go to the class but idk i keep saying ill go and i dont. its just chemistry and i dont rlly care abt that class. lets say i pass everything but that class. ill still be fine yk. so its okay. i suck at it anyway. ive been going to all my other classes. idk im rlly tired and my back hurts. i have such bad posture. i slouch all the time. ive been more aware of i and have been doing better but i always end up slouching at some point yk. i might just play a game online or something. im so bored and my friend is looking up something about peanut butter and jelly???????? idk what that dude looks up on his free time. i kinda wanna go through my familys facebook accounts. only the pictures though. bc i end up finding photos from years ago and it makes me feel so nostalgic.i like that feeling so much.nostalgia has to be one of the best feelings to feel for me. i love imagining that im still in 2011 yk? or anywhere up to 2014 or15. those were the best years for me. id do em over and over. i wish i didnt take advantage of my rlly young years. i know im still really young but once you hit 17 you kinda have that same minset for the rest of your life yk? like you hit a certain level of maturity by then that sticks with you or grows in youre adult years. if so so different from the way we think as 9 years olds yk?

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phoebehalliwell · 3 years

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Ok so like I know it won’t happen but how would Sheridan and Warren feel about meeting their younger twin cousins Tam & Kat? Because then they wouldn’t be the only twin in the family plus the chaos of having mutiole sets of twins in one place would be amazingly hilarious! Like everyone is like Tam/Kat/Sheridan/Warren NOOO and they’re like >:3c ✨

[who tf are these kids so glad you asked warren & sheridan and tam & kat]

i feel like that would be a really wild ride bc i feel like as sets of twitches one would think they are very similar but they are indeed actually like. very different. i mean a there’s this age delta of like 7 years so that’s one thing so you’d have two grown as dudes and two teenagers but then there’s also differences like. tam and kat each have their own unique set of powers while warren and sheridan have identical powers. tam and kat were raised within magic by a charmed one in a happy could with a younger brother and a boatload of cousins they’re insanely close to warren and sheridan were raised by jack. tam and kat know how to preserve sea slugs warren and sheridan don’t even know why you would need to know this. and, of course, the major difference between the two is tamora and kat have a psychic link and warren and sheridan definitely do not nor do they want one. like for starters if they had the ability to be in each others head the odds of them just using that skill to annoy the other is like through the roof but also it’s like. tamora and kat’s subconsciousness are linked like their dreams border each other and like overlap and i think warren and sheridan would genuinely rather be lobotomized than let the other take a stroll around their dreams. but i mean like beyond that just like their dynamics with the other are insanely different like kat literally ran off to italy and tamora stayed behind in sf and they’re just like. fine with that. whereas warren and sheridan have never ever actually like. lived apart. and in the back of their minds they know at some point that’s gonna happen but like hey man that’s my twin brother i know him i know he’s a fucking idiot and i don’t trust him not to get himself killed. like both tam and kat have done solo vanquishes where they didn’t even like mention anything to their twin bc like. they were busy doing this vanquish. warren and sheridan are a lot more attached at the hip when it comes to magic i mean they also have a lot less experience but like if kat every mentioned casually that she’s currently living on the other side of the globe from her twin w&s would short circuit (and if that didn’t do the trick tam and kat being like yeah i mean it’s never like we’re cut off from each other bc u know like the psychic link would Definitely send warren and sheridan over the edge).

that being said similarities i mean for starters both are twin sets where they’re identical but one twin has short hair and the other long so if they ever met i feel like someone has to comment on that bc like. hey does the author have some weird need to visually distinguish identical twins in an easy-to-read way? yes. also it’s a spilt where one twin’s gay and the other’s straight (kat being a lesbian, warren being bisexual, and tamora and sheridan both being like the lone heterosexuals out of everyone they know) but like. beyond that i think both twins definitely have this stubbornness and like. a tendency not to involve parental figures in their work bc they want to prove that they can do it on their own. there’s also like. a sense of impulsivity to them all in varying degrees ranking sheridan kat warren tam but like. in a wstk team up a battle plan probably will not be drawn they’ll say the vibes of the situation and then like. go time.

if i were to spin a yarn for a tamora kat warren sheridan team up i would set it in warren and sheridan’s world and simply for convenience i’m keeping them both at the ages they are in their respective stories so 18 and 22 and i’m not entirely sure of the circumstances which would land tamora and kat anywhere but the sets would id each other when someone freezes somewhere and they hey who’s that moving over there there’d be introductions where tamora and kat are like hi we’re tamora and kat mitchell and they’re like a lil confused when that gets no reaction bc quite frankly like they are the daughters of a charmed one and where they’re from the majority of witches & other magical beings know their name bc like. they do. and this only gets weirder where warren and sheridan are like we’re warren and sheridan halliwell and kat’s like no ur not. and they’re like excuse me? and she’s like ur last name. and they’re like yeah?? halliwell???? and tamora and kat are like yeah??? bc again where they’re from this name carries insane weight to pose as a halliwell w/o having the last name would be fucking insane but where warren and sheridan are from the charmed ones died in a basement in 2005 halliwell name going with it and also they really don’t know that much about their mom’s side of the family anyways so their like i don’t get what you’re not getting here our last name legally is like halliwell it’s from our mom’s side and tamora and kat are like Who is your mom????? and they’re like her name was prue and tam and kat are like !!!!!!!! what the fuck. what the fuck? and warren and sheridan are like okay. what. and tamora and kat are like hi thrilled to meet u we’re ur cousins. and warren and sheridan are like cool and immediately try to freeze them to talk amongst themselves but then realizes that Doesn’t Work bc they’re Also Witches and they’re like well fuck. new plan we take them back to the house and we hold swizzlesticks in their face (the house cat, a familiar) and go off the cat’s reaction. so blah blah blah tamora and kat are like trying to explain no no no see your mom was a part of the charmed ones right and warren and sheridan are like okay i think that was mentioned in passing idk what that means tho and kat and tam are like fr? whatever we don’t have time the point is in our world prue died and they’re like oh no don’t worry she died in our world too and tam and kat are like oh. my condolences the point is the charmed ones were reconstituted when piper and phoebe (your aunts) found our mom, who was their half sister, an illegitimate child patty had with her whitelighter. and warren and sheridan are like okay cool. the fuck is a whitelighter? and tam and kat are like !!!! bc how tf can you be a halliwell and be so far removed from magic next stop obvi would be the manor which was been magically secured to the nines debatable whether or not they break in warren and sheridan might have like a couple memories i mean less like memories and more like vibes from when they were raised in the manor for 90 seconds and um. they’re definitely getting a premonition of prue’s death, and then also the reconstitution of the po3 with paige for good measure confirming tk’s story. then the mission is obviously find whatever it was that sent tam and kat here and get them back and uhh breaking into the manor was of no use bc when piper phoebe and paige completely remade their identities and faked their death like they took the book with them. they’re not just gonna leave it in the house lmao. and so tam and kat are like okay magic school? and warren and sheridan are like What Down and the girls open a door into magic school to find it totally decimated and almost entirely deteriorated after the death of the charmed ones evil tried to claim it which ate away at the core of magic school until it was uninhabitable. so that’s a no go. okay warren and sheridan what do you do. and they’re like um okay so there’s the school library. and there’s google. and we have some friends who are witches. and tam and kat are like you have friends who are witches but still have never heard of like. the charmed ones. and warren and sheridan are like hey man they’re not Witches Witches they’re like. witch practitioner. but they’re good and they like. know plants and stuff. and of course worse comes to worse fun fact most demons aren’t expecting you to punch them so like. that also works. and tamora and kat are like okay cool what i’m hearing is we’re gonna be trapped in this world forever. but i think it would be a really nice blend of warren and sheridan learning the craft (these lads don’t even know how to scry 💀) and tamora and kat really taking a step back bc they were raised in a world immersed in magic and really have never like. seen the craft done in this way. and i think like they can definitely learn some lessons here. also debatable whether or not kat brings her sword but if she does warren and sheridan would Totally lose their shit. and would probably buy swords 4 themselves.

#charmed #next gen #tamora mitchell #kat mitchell #warren halliwell #sheridan halliwell #charmed next generation #i also think it's funny bc like. despite being in the same family and both being identical twins #i think the twin gene comes from their respective fathers sides #i mean obvi it comes from jack's side of the family #and then as henry doesn't know his family but we have the warren line documented quite well #i think it's safe to say tamora and kat as identical twins is a henry thing #is that how it works?#idk i really don't know that much about literally any of the life sciences #but i know like twins tend to be like. hereditary.#💌

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abigailinc · 7 years

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honestly i'm too lazy to go look but also i wanna ask u questions bc ily so any of the greek pantheon asks u haven't answered yet have a good night :*

casey u always know just what to say

Apollo: Do you have any talents?i dont have what any typical talents? like sports or good grades or anything you could get a job with But i am really good at knowing when im being lied to and i can read microexpressions and i can make small talk and pretend to like people in social settings like nobody’s business

Ares: What small thing makes you angry?i guess it’s not always small but pointless problems that could very easily be solved by the other person clearly communicating or not being stubborn irritate me to no end

Artemis: What are you hunting for in life?that money and also meaningful longterm emotional connections

Athena: What is/was your best school subject?english, always, i’m a grammar fiend and a stickler for spelling and a slut for good writing,

Demeter: Do you miss anyone?i’m coming to terms with it but yeah always

Dionysus: Do you drink alcohol? If so, what’s your beverage of choice?oh boy do i! and anything above 10% alcohol within 10 miles

Eros: How do you define your sexuality?hot people only

Gaia: Where’s your favorite place in the world?i wanna say i don’t really have one, it’s more like my favorite way to feel when i go anywhere like i’m at home wherever i am because i’m me and it’s good and it’s so inexplicable but it makes me feel full

Hades: Have you ever had a near-death experience?yeah in ur moms 🅱️ussy(jk yes i have and we Don’t Talk About It)

Hecate: What do you think of magic?i think it’s fucking Lit and something to be respected even if you don’t 100% believe in it (hey white people stop fucking around with ouija boards)

Hephaestus: What’s the coolest thing you’ve ever made or built?i have a string of lights i arranged really well above my bed and they’re really pretty and calming

Hera: Are you the jealous type?hmm. sometimes? i don’t get jealous of people’s possessions because if i want something enough i can get it but sometimes i get jealous of people’s attention but only very specific people

Hermes: Have you ever stolen anything?i own over $400 dollars worth of makeup and at least $800 worth of clothes. do you really think i paid for any of it

Hyperion: Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?depends on what mood i’m in. sunrises are calming; sunsets are exciting

Hypnos: What was your most recent dream about?screaming into a corpse’s teeth to reanimate it (it was one of the weirder ones)

Iris: What’s your favorite color palate?uhhh probably some soft blues and greens

Nemesis: What’s a time you helped deliver justice?every single time i have ever stopped a creepy guy from being creepy to either myself or a girl/person i see bein creeped on

Nike: What’s your most recent accomplishment?i’ve started eating full meals again!

Pan: What do you do for fun?hmmm im listening to music constantly, i love the internet (the band and the invention), i love viddy games (platformers and rpg’s usually), i love reading and painting, i love memes, i love my friends, i lo

Persephone: What’s your favorite season of the year?it changes based on the year? two years ago it was summer, last year it was spring, this year isnt over yet so idk but im having a feeling its gonna be fall

Poseidon: What’s your favorite sea creature?those fuckin weird ones that live at the very bottom that have shit growing out of their noses and like 20 feet

Rhea: What’s your favorite type of nature?this is rly vague but okay listen. i have this thing that i do where im constantly picking dandelions (both the yellow ones and the kind that u blow and wish on) and with the yellow ones i put them in people’s mailboxes or on their car windshields and stuff like that, and u know im all about making those wishes son

Selene: What’s your favorite phase of the moon?the new moon is fucking powerful as hell dude but i love me a perfect crescent

Tartarus: What’s your personal hell?being nearly drowned or suffocated and then brought back to life times infinity orrr being alone forever probably

Thanatos: Is there anyone you just really, really hate?nah man i used to genuinely despise my mother and if i had the chance to kill her today if im being honest id probably take it but like…i dont actively hate her anymore because grudges are so toxic for whoever is holding them and im out here trying 2 be the best me i can be

#ask #easyupdate #man i got all that heavy shit in there its past midnight lets go #about the blogger

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wanderlustlondon · 7 years

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26 June

summary day 3

the day started at the ass crack of dawn, and I only got 4 ours of sleep so I was really struggling to get out of bed. we met downstairs to go to orientation at 8 am, only to later learn it started at 9. we stopped at a coffee shop on the way (PRET A MANAGER) and it was uncomfortable for me, just because no one was really talking to me. we wandered around for awhile, just waiting to get into our orientation thing. eventually, a lot later, we were guided inside, but then almost immediately back out into the garden to get visitor passes to access the buildings. also the dude that signed us in was incredibly beautiful just a lil fyi. so we got that all figured out, and then they told us we needed out passports to get student id’s. well, basically nobody had them. they told us we couldn’t leave, so the little theatre/history clan decided to sit in the grass and just talk for a bit, which was nice. 30 minutes later they sent us back to our dorm to get our passports and come back for orientation--which was heavily directed at the other students bc they were “REAL” LSBU students not just taking their own university classes here. but whatever.

lunch was super duper light, but me megan john riley and sarah just sat on the steps and talked a bit about superheroes and very light topics--until john said when he was young he wanted to die at 30 like yikes bro. but okay then we started making our way to the globe for our tour and we took the wrong tube so we still had to walk an extra mile but it was totally fine, the scenery was beautiful as most of london is. we actually ended up getting ice cream and sitting by the river for awhile. some dude was singing (it was the song heath ledger sings in 10 things I hate about you) and it just felt very movie like and magical. we got to tour the globe which was not at all what I was actually expecting but it was still super cool that it was so similar to the original!! that part of the day was pretty straightforward no big deal

----side note carly asked us if we wanted to get lunch with her and later john said he told her no bc he can’t afford carly’s taste and I greatly appreciated it bc same----

i really thought after this we were going to find a cute little market or something but carley was determined to take us to get sushi and go shopping so we took a couple different trains to finally reach this huge ass mall and I already wasn’t having it. a mall. of all the things in london. a. mall.

whatever so we all went into another coffee shop and this time I just got some water but I learned uk orange soda basically tastes like fizzy orange juice so that was fun. we split up to go shopping since we all had different interests. sarah and I mostly just walked around, I think the only store we went in was the disney store tbh. but she told me all these theories she (or as she said “we”) has about john like that his generosity and niceness is just a facade to get attention and he’s actually kind of a jerk or that his niceness is almost too nice and it’s frustrating and that he’s low key alcoholic and idk it was a bit frustrating bc he seems so genuine to me. also as soon as she said “i can’t believe megan can’t see how much john likes her” my heart fell into the floor bc that’s all I really want in my life right now and meg won’t appreciate it but obviously i couldn’t say that to sarah we’re not at that level yet so I just let it be.

we met up with john and riley while the other girls were still shopping and honestly just sitting there talking was so nice and relaxing and I really got to talk to john about silly things like catfish and singing. I also told him my first impression of him which was terrifying but he didn’t seem to care (I thought he was going to be cool and dapper with his life together “but I’m just a goon with none of my shit together” and I told him i liked that better anyway) and idk he just was being super weird and I even told him he gets weirder everyday and he just laughed and said yeah just wait till the end of this trip!! and idk i really think he’s a stellar human being

we found the others and a bunch of them got sushi which i wasn’t havin but emily also gets sick from seafood so we got some pizza ham and cheese sandwiches that were actually really good for how cheap they were. we finally went home after the mall and that’s when carly said she swapped price tags on her sunglasses because she didn’t want to pay that much and for some reason I was the only one that judged her but whatever I guess

when we got back riley sarah and I went to tesco for groceries and I only spent 15 pounds and got a shit ton of food so that was cool but now I have to wake up early so I can go find an umbrella bc we spent too long at the mall and I didn’t want to buy anything expensive

but yeah today was a mix of highs and lows, hopefully tomorrow will be better and I’ll stop feeling like a third wheel around megan and john

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