#i love to suffer physically

[bleakbluejay]

you motherfuckers have no concept of what "land back" or "decolonize" even mean. you're too busy demonizing entire groups of people, terrified, shitting yourselves, that they'll do even half of the horrors to you that you've done to them for decades or centuries. this shit comes off as hella racist for real. you hate arabs so much. you hate first nations people so much. you hate black people so much. even if you sympathize with them, you can't fucking bear the idea of them gaining freedom, independence, autonomy, safety, because you're so, so scared they'll hurt you back and cause chaos in the streets. these same people who just want to rebuild. who just want to go home. who just want to see their families again. who just want food. who just want medical care. who just want dry, warm shelter. you're so focused on the ideas of colonization, of "us vs. them", of one people displacing the other for a state to exist, that you cannot comprehend coexistence, and your only idea of peace is if an entire group of people were just gone and dead.

grow the fuck up. for the love of GOD, grow the fuck up.

#eli talks #rant #i just watched a video shared by someone i'd been following a while denying the genocide occuring in gaza entirely #are you kidding. are you fucking kidding me. #the video was trying to run with the idea that “from the river to the sea” means jewish people will be expelled from the region #no the fuck it does not you stupid motherfucker that's NOT what decolonization is #anyway. land back. decolonize. from the river to the sea. peace and love on planet earth. #stop razing olive trees. stop scorching the earth. stop bombing hospitals and schools. stop destroying the sea. #if i have to see another palestinian child undergo anesthesia-free amputation im going to start being physically fucking violent #if i have to see another mother with blood on her hands wailing and begging for her child to come back im going to start burning shit #one day all the people of palestine will be free. muslims and jews and christians and all and none. #one day all the people of sudan will be free. all the people in the congo will be free. all the peoples in the americas will be free. #and all the other occupied places suffering genocides and ethnic cleansings that the news neglects to mention. theyll be free too.

[backonrepeat]

Thinking about Gortash being shaped by his time in the House of Hope.

Purposefully mimicking Raphael's accent and manner of speaking, elegant, sophisticated, confident, to disguise his own working class roots and mingle with the Gate's upper class. Matching Raphael's demeanor, his posture, the way he negotiates his deals and flatters his clients. Even the theatrics, to an extent. Raphael is a consummate showman, and from him Gortash learns that presentation is key to manipulating people's perceptions to his own ends.

His views on sex don't differ too much from Harleep's, if Lady Jannath's note is any indication. Sex is just a tool, a commodity, currency that can be used to manipulate people and gain favours. He has no issues with selling his body, as long as the price is right.

As much as he hates the Nubaldin, he also learns from him. Each blow, each cut, each excruciating form of torture gets committed to mind. What worked, what didn't, how did each one feel. It's all knowledge in the end, and if he so wants it, it's his to use.

His own belief and devotion to Bane, God of Tyranny, his desire for absolute order and control, and lawful evil alignment could be linked back. Devil's are famously hierarchical creatures, who believe in order (in opposition to demons who embrace chaos), and the rule of the strong over the weak. Know who is a famous, scheming, sweet-talking tyrant in d&d lore? Old Hoof and Horns himself, Asmodeus, Devil in Chief.

Even his disregard of Karlach's optimism, generosity and good heart. The only truly "good" person young Gortash ever met was Hope, a captive of Raphael tortured for years for refusing to renounce her principles. Her sister Korilla, instead chose to serve Raphael and is thriving, free to come and go as she wishes, granted warlock powers by Raphael, living her best evil life.

#writing this i just realised Gortash is basically BG3s Sand dan Glokta #minus the physical disability #both experience great suffering and underwent terrible torture that scarred them permanently #and once saved went “yay my turn now” #and became the worst possible version of themselves #i love them both to bits #in all their awfulness #baldur's gate 3 #enver gortash

[corpsentry]

breaking the law and outing myself on the internet because i'm showcasing my senior dance thesis on april 28 at 6:30 and 8:30 pm Eastern Standard Time and i want You to see it

we don't have a livestream link yet but we will. in the meantime look at these cool posters and this cool blurb. ok now save the date SEE YOU SOON

#my stuff #my art #these posters went through 14 separate drafts. it was a harrowing and difficult experience #i am Fully Going through it which means 1) physical health is suffering 2) social life also but 3) the thing is going to be so fucking good #sarus is gonna be the best thing ive ever made when we finish it. i Know it #so i want you to see it because it's one of those ambitious stories where everything's bigger than life #and the world is old and young and scary and kind and people live fearlessly and with cowardice #BUT EVERYTHING WILL BE OK. IF YOU JUST KEEP WALKING. this is going to be one of those stories #so many dance blurbs and descriptions are like stupid technical like oh we explored the effect of weighing down our hands and feet #on our Center of Gravity and how it altered the rotational momentum of turns and jumps #or else they're stupid esoteric like oh the wind blew..... and the children wept and all over the world the oceans rose... (global warming) #so i was determined to make this blurb (which is going in the schoolwide email blast) accessible and provocative #and inviting #in a provocative way #im very Locked in rn. im Hyperfocused as fuck. i am not eating as well asi should be but IM TRYING #AND THATS WHAT MATTERS #im inviting all of u bc this is a piece that is going to try and say something and i want everyone ive ever loved to hear it #oghey bye

[ace-geographer]

Hey everyone, may I offer you all some text post memes in these trying times?

Part 10/?

#i hope these make you guys feel at least a teeny tiny bit better about everything #currently i am suffering <3 #i still can't believe this is reality #i want our campy little show back :( #like i said last night im gonna keep making these until i physically can't anymore #massive thank you to everyone who's liked and reblogged these text post memes #i love you guys #you truly keep me going #willow 2022 #willow #willow series #willow disney+ #tanthamore #kit tanthalos #jade claymore #elora danan #graydon hastur #thraxus boorman #airk tanthalos #the crone #ruby cruz #erin kellyman #ellie bamber #tony revolori #amar chadha patel #dempsey bryk #rosabell laurenti sellers

[galaxicnerd]

fears of inadequacy

#dirk strider #jake english #dirkjake #angst #hurt but not quite sure about the comfort #im just saying that as much as these two work on themselves they do not know how to handle intense emotions #its not a bad thing its just something they deal with #growing up completely alone with no one to physically comfort you would kinda emotionally stunt anyone you know #UGH damn it theyre so important to me #they both struggle with self worth like crazy #i love them being disasters together #i want to see them grow but more importantly i want to see them suffer

[agent00ani]

Time for more Lisa Frankenstein posting. Potential vague spoilers below!

It’s about the gender. He’s gender. She’s gender. They’re both gender together. It’s about finding someone who Gets You™️ and making something of that together. It’s the way he looks at her as a person. The way he sees how she is scorned and doesn’t hesitate to try and do something about it. It’s the pure concern when she drops the axe and runs to him. Not concern that she’ll hurt him but concern because SHE’S hurting. It’s the way he loves her with his whole heart from the moment he sees her but doesn’t try to force her to love him back. He just pines and does his best to support and care for her. It’s the way he lights up with such genuine tooth rotting warmth when she realizes he loves her. The way he cradles her against him and cares for her.

THE WAY HE DOES ALL OF THIS WITHOUT EVER SPEAKING?! He vocalizes sure but never speaks until the literal final shot of the movie. Fuck man Cole Sprouse is such an amazing actors.

OH ALSO!!!! It’s the way his dead person makeup makes sense! The skin is shrunken so there’s a noticeable dip from where the bone of his skull ends and the cartilage of his nose bridge continues. It’s the way he’s grey and veined and stiff limbed! Like sure it’s not realistic he wouldn’t be all gross and decayed but also suspend your disbelief yada yada

#lisa frankenstein #ani rambles #i just love them so much #the monster made by magic finding his love and she’s not even in love with him but he doesn’t blame her or hate her for it #he just stays to love her however she is willingly to let him #he sees someone who is scorned and isolated and knows what that’s like and so does what he can to save her from the fate he suffered #the intimacy of literally physically fixing someone’s broken or missing pieces #the fucked up logic of not just taking all the parts needed from the first body because why would they do that when she has revenge to exact

[noahmullariii]

My weirdest headcanon is that at the end of 4th year Remus bites his leg off during a transformation. It's the first moon after his mum's funeral so he's extra distressed and the wolf isn't having it. Pomfrey is terrified when she finds him all mangled and cold from blood loss, and it's the first time James, Peter and Sirius aren't allowed to see him right away. Pomfrey magically sews his leg back together, of course, but like all his werewolf injuries it doesn't heal quite right. Now Remus has to hide his newfound limp to avoid suspicion. It makes Severus question him even more than before though, especially with Professors making up new excuses for Remus' absence after that since, you know, his mum's illness can't be a reason anymore. It also makes James, Peter and Sirius work faster on their animagi master plan cuz "bloody hell he chewed off his leg!"

#it's a win-win for all subplots #not for remus tho #all my hcs for him just add to canon suffering #i'm so sorry my dude #initially wanted him to have a full-on amputation #with a prosthetic leg #then remembered they're wizards #big yikes #post-hogwarts he uses aids on occasion #when all the eyes aren't on him anymore #and more regularly with age #tho not during poa obviously #so in 1993-94 he's extra miserable #just. constant. pain #emotional and physical #again i am so sorry #remus lupin #i love him i promise #poppy pomfrey #james potter #peter pettigrew #sirius black #severus snape #the marauders #marauders #marauders era #marauders headcanon #why tf are there so many tags for those guys #smh

[fromisgetsetreadyshow]

i can't believe they fixed all their problems with a rainbow laser show. calibarn really said gay people should have the power to explode things with their minds.

#mobile suit gundam the witch from mercury #g witch #in other news. sulemio married i love that for them #in the final scene where they were cuddling (?) on the hill i suffered a physical response #like aurghhhh those are my babies. they got their happy ending you guys... #i do wish we had gotten an epilogue episode instead bc the ending felt somewhat rushed #but honestly i'm super happy with what we got #poor eri though being trapped in a keychain for the rest of her life doesn't really seem that fun hdhsnchdh #sop.txt

[b4kuch1n]

hi! birthday. which means it's finally time t

yo what the itch store is fixed up now

damn what? I don't know where this came from. look all the comics I put on g*mr**d a year ago are back here again with all the formatting and typesetting by @fireflysummers as well as the exclusive bonus art wtf who did this. my werewolf comic on here too what the hells!! that one also got re-toned for printing if u want to AND an exclusive cover spread !!! what the fuck!!!!! come see for urself I can't make this shit up

#bakuspecial #comic #itch.io #bakugoods #<- made up a tag for when I sell things that aren't commissions just now #for folks who still remember me talking abt a physical run of these comics: I'm so sorry this year and the last have been brutal #and I live in a well and suffer a curse of international mails never going well. so the logistics became Very complicated #I still think abt it tho! I've prepped up all the assets just bc I thought abt it so much... we picked out a gift print for the orders #And a bonus print for the pack #but I couldn't gather my brain enough to make it happen. yet #it takes a bit of overhead so I gotta build that up. which is. right now talk for after the shit that just happened to me got smoothed out #but I do want it to happen. I've been sitting on this exclusive custom print for like two years now #I really love that drawing its so cute. I still hold that project close to my heart #anyways uhh itch store! happy birthday to me! #last year this time was so rough I didn't even Want to think about my birthday lol #strangely enough with this small little fragmentation grenade we just got I became more motivated to fuck around on my bday lmao #probably out of spite. hammer philosophy #my parents love making a whole thing out of me and the brother's bdays lol so dinner's gonna be something #but for now I can still chill. and prep up stuff. and do my thang #if u look thru the itch store and get something from there thank u so much! I hope the comics treat u well #and now. I make hot drink. have a good day lads! do a little jig for us let's go

[jout--jout]

every night i think about how the reunion is gonna go and how laura and marisha will absolutely DESTROY us mentally and emotionally with whatever they pull and have to lay down for a second

#imodna #laudna #imogen temult #im like 89% certain i’ll also have a physical reaction #i suffer in advance so when the day comes i’ll suffer less #it wont help me at all #in this household we love lying to ourselves

[spacedlexi]

when u want to like a character so so bad but theyre a cop so its impossible

#sorry even if theyre hot my first thought will always be 'cop' and it kills all desire #slams head thru wall #vi arcane i want to love u so bad......but i look at u and see COP and its over for me 😐 #and her cop gf 😐😔 #before anybody gets mad at me im just sad 😔 shes great otherwise like she fits my fave types but this wall is insurmountable #she grew up in the SLUMS and they make her an ENFORCER??? die #she was wrongfully imprisoned for like a decade and they make her an enforcer 😐😐😐😐 #after finishing arcane i went to read her lore 😐 #felt so Liberal 😐😔 weh weh both sides bad type beat #girl its not too late please dont be a cop and cait pls leave the force PLEASE i cant defend you like this #anybody else trapped in this torture prison abt her or is it just me please tell me im not alone in this #every time i see her on my dash it pains me so much like physically mentally.... #its ok at least i have my other vi who fights ex military with her gf to avoid becoming soldiers in a pointless war :) blink blink #it speaks #only posting this bc i need to know who else is suffering over this.............. it cant just be me

[cripple-woe]

the devil is innocent and the god is cruel

#something something if the Christian god made me why did he make me with eternal suffering #I love not being a Christian anymore #cripplepunk #cripple #cripple punk #physically disabled #disabled #actually disabled #disability #cpunk #art #ex christian #religious trauma #lol #Christianity formed a lot of my issues that haunt me to the day regarding my disability so this is a little commentary on both

[skoulsons]

The intimacy of their winter scenes in show compared to the game. Her laying on the mattress with him. Her head laying on his shoulder and her hand on his chest, something I only thought I’d ever get in fanfics. The hesitancy in laying next to him because ‘is this okay?’ Her listening to his heartbeat, hoping that it doesn’t stop. Him, even unconscious, instinctively leaning his head towards her, trying to get as close as he can. Ellie just casually grabbing his hands or draping her arm over his abdomen like it’s second nature. How they full on held hands last episode

We don’t get his in game. The most we get is a slight touch of her hand to his before she gives him penicillin and then her hand over his heart as she tries to sleep. Something about proximity. Something something physical comfort and reassurance. Something about saving the others life and fearing every day they’ll die so you stay as physically close as you can because you’re afraid you’ll lose them if you don’t. Something about incredibly fierce love for someone else, idk

#idk guys im a bit undone right now. #just kind of…not enduring or surviving #skoulsons is suffering. #I LOVE PHYSICAL TOUCH SO MUCH LEAVE ME ALONEEE #the last of us hbo #tlou spoilers #joel miller #ellie williams

[chains-of-others]

MEOWSAULT!! He's my fav sinner, and I'm never satisfied with how I draw him... so this is kind of like a practice.

#limbus company #lcb #meursault lcb #project moon #projmoon #i suffer from the “i can't draw my fav character” disease..... #i'm fighting tho...... i love meowsi so much i want to draw him correctly..... #today in class the teacher was talking abt something like “being happy with the indifference of the world” and it reminded me of meowsi and #i felt physically ill... it was ridiculous... MEOWSI I NEED TO FOCUS LEAVE MY HEAD LEAVE MY HEAD LEAVE MY HEAD LEAVE MY HEAD LEAVE MY #my art

[herequeerexitentialfear]

My Fathers House [album version] 🤝 Independence Day [Live at the Roxy 1987] 🤝 The River [Live at LA Coliseum 85. the spoken intro that hits like a sledgehammer] [all yt links]

Songs by Bruce Springsteen that make me feel shrimp emotions about Fathers.

#honorary mention to adam raised a cain #but i know what emotion that makes me feel #these just make me feel a pit and then a wave of emotion #anyway ive been meaning to say this for a while #bruce springsteen #independence day especially hits hardd #do. do i need to say anything about the spoken introduction to the river #thats not covered by 'makes me feel shrimp emotions about father' #i said i went to take my physical #he said “what happened” #i said they didnt take me #and he said “thats good” #<- i dont know how to explain it but. yea. i get that. that makes me feel things #my fathers house is a driving factor in my own slow reconciliation with my own dad. i dont want it to be to late & to lose the opportunity #to know him as an adult myself #when i can see the good and not suffer the bad #anyway in the wise words of a lovely tumblr mutual whos tags reminded me i wanted to make this post #stop making me feel things bruce

[dootplusone]

(OG post has Reblogs turned off. You can find it here!)

(OG post has Reblogs turned off. You can find it here!)

(If the OP would prefer this post not link back to the OG post or is otherwise is not okay w/ this post in reference to theirs, please let me know in some form so I can delete/edit it as needed.)

Thinking. Abt this but with Bones. Like. Post-Tholian Web? Post-Mirror Mirror?

For AOS, could be after Into Darkness and/or Beyond.

A Bones who's just. So anxious. So stressed. So overwhelmed that it starts taking a toll on his health. Maybe he doesn't even realise - or maybe he does and tries his best to push through it until it knocks him on his ass. Kind of in the vein of "You don't actually know how tired you are until you stop. And then you just physically cannot start again." It becomes his new baseline, a problem that just brews and storms in the distance.

And he just carries on. And keeps going and going and going until one day he realises that 'Oh fuck, I'm not okay' and has about 5 seconds of warning before he straight up collapses, doesn't matter if it's on the bridge, in the madbay, on a planet - he's going down. (Maybe a repeat of Tholian Web where he just straight up faints into Spock's arms? Full whammy, why not)

Maybe it's a high-tension situation getting resolved that does it. The pure relief of it reminds him of how tired he is. How tired he's been for a while. His body sees that momentary rest and goes "More of that, please. And I'm not asking."

And he's so rendered by it that he doesn't grumble about being coddled like he normally would when he wakes up. He knows not to fuck with the medbay staff - they're just as firm as he is on recovery, and that's not by accident - and he knows that Spock and Kirk will be hovering, because they see any problem as something they, too, should shoulder the burden of.

...And because they're some of the most protective people in the damned universe. And that goes for pretty much all the people on board the Enterprise.

In some scenarios, it's just a case of letting his body and mind rest properly. In others, there's a lot more recovery involved than anyone initially expects. Luckily for him, he has a found family who are determined to be there with him at every step. It just takes a couple reminders, every once in a while.

#leonard bones mccoy #star trek tos #star trek aos #whump #back on my bullshit #aos bones fretting over Jim and Spock and their injuries; completely forgetting that hes also a little worse for wear #thinking back to dustykneed's post abt him being fucked up and grieving after ST:ID and. Lets just make it even more physical #After the issues they face from that; Spirk are more aware of Bones' tendency to brush things off. are more equipped to take care of him #when he needs it; just as he does for them. He's so stubbornly self sufficient and it worries them. But they're equally as stubborn and #loving. Unstoppable Force meets Immovable Object. I feel like post ST:ID is where they kind of Learn that Bones keeps shit on the down low #Because like. Bones will complain. Unless it's smth that's just affecting him. And then he suddenly keeps it to himself. When he complains #abt that whole fiasco he complains abt Jim dying. Abt Spock almost dying on that planet. About how they all almost died. But he doesn't tal #about how HE almost died from that fucking torpedo almost blowing up on him. Not a word. Jim forgot it had even happened until like. Carol #brings it up in passing. Maybe she has nightmares on the incident. But he realises Bones has just NEVER fucking mentioned it despite him #being the master complainer. That sets off the first alarm bells. And then maybe Uhura asks Jim how Bones is doing bc she knows that Bones #would just say he's fine. But Jim is like ??? Bc why wouldn't Bones be okay. And then she realises that HE HASN'T realised that Bones is th #kind of motherfucker to suffer in silence. and she's like Jim. Jim he literally ran himself to the ground trying to revive you. Jim. Are yo #kidding me have you NOT TALKED ABOUT THAT??? ANY OF IT??? Thus... Jim realises or maybe even Remembers what Bones is like #bc maybe at some point he DID know Bones well enough to know when he's fucking himself over. But all the Bullshit that theyve gone through #and the fact they work in entirely different parts of the ship kind of. Alienated them a bit. And suddenly hes like. Oh. Oh No. Oh FUCK. #because Jesus how the FUCK does he even approach this. But he manages it. And Spock gets in on it too as he slowly gets to know the doctor #And then post-beyond its like. Yeah. All three of them gang up on each other. That includes Spock and Kirk making sure Bones is as Fine as #he always says he is. #anyway. Yeah. I just think Bones probably stresses and overthinks too much but god forbid anyone comfort him. Self sacrificing bastard #wow this is a lot of alphabet soup im so sorry AHAHA