#i love zendaya | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

merrellholland · 2 years

Text

Silent and Tired → t.holland

A/N: Hey everyone! A little late to the party, but decided to do an angsty one-shot for Tom's birthday hehe.. enjoy

Word Count: 2.5k

In just five days, Tom Holland the famous Spider-Man actor would no longer be 25 years of age, but instead 26. You’ve known Tom for almost six years and counting. You first met him at an after party of the Spider-Man Homecoming premiere, and from that moment on you two just instantly clicked. But over the years, you’ve realized that you have developed feelings for the British boy. Everything about him was just perfect. But of course before you even got the courage to tell him about this, he had already started to get into a relationship with his co-star, Zendaya.

Now you had nothing against Zendaya, she’s beyond gorgeous, has a great charisma, smart, kind, and an absolute Goddess. Ever since Zendaya got casted to play the role of Peter Parker’s love interest, MJ, everyone had started to ship Tom and Zendaya. Everyone could see them dating and making each other happy and content. After a while, you had decided to ignore your romantic feelings for Tom and hide them deep down where nobody would ever get a hint.

The situation has been like this for approximately two years, when Tom and Zendaya had decided to put their relationship out to the public. They definitely did break the internet, everyone was happy, even you. If you truly loved someone, you would want them to be happy. Seeing Tom with Zendaya was heartbreaking at first. But you’ve learnt to be happy for them, your feelings for Tom shouldn’t get in the way of him being happy. Whenever Tom’s with Zendaya, you’ve noticed that his mood always brightens like she was the sun to his universe.

Zendaya wanted Tom to have the best birthday party, so she invited everyone who was close to Tom and made you a co-planner with her. The two of you would order many decorations on various websites and have six different packages on the front of Tom and Zendaya’s apartment. Tom was still in Berlin so he wasn’t aware of the packages. Planning Tom’s birthday with Zendaya was extremely fun and exciting and you couldn’t wait for Tom’s reaction to all of the preparation.

Finally after three days, Tom had arrived in L.A and unlocked the door to his shared apartment. The second he entered the apartment, Zendaya dropped the book she was reading and set down her coffee mug and ran up to Tom, engulfing him in a hug. Tom started laughing, almost crying as it was an emotional moment.

“AHHH I missed you so much!” Zendaya said to Tom.

“I missed you too darling” Tom said to her while laughing.

They laughed at each other and shared a long awaited kiss, both of them happy.

–

Back in your apartment, you were aware that Tom had reached L.A but decided not to say anything to him yet. You wanted him to relax a little and spend some time with just Zendaya. Plus, you had a tinder date.

You tried to put yourself out there, tired of feeling lonely and wanting to have someone love you and have late night chats with. But all the dates you’ve been on always went in three directions.

One: Since you were considered a Youtube celebrity, with over ten million subscribers, people would only go on dates with you for the clout. So that they could be in your videos and have a sprinkle of fame.

Two: They were a complete douche bag who just wanted to have meaningless sex with you so that they can tell everyone they had slept with a Youtube star.

Three: They talked about themselves for the whole entire date, making you just sit there in the restaurant, nodding your head and silently eating your meal.

You were hoping that this date would be different, not a repeat of the last previous 15 dates, yes you were counting. You got ready by putting on your makeup, fixing your hair, and you had decided to wear a long elegant black dress with a slit.

Thirty minutes later, you arrived at the restaurant and took a seat at your reserved table. You started off with an appetizer, bread and olive oil, while you were waiting for your date, Tyler. On his profile, he looked like the typical frat boy but you didn’t want to judge a guy based on what he puts on a tinder profile. You waited for approximately another hour and forty minutes for him, but still no sign of Tyler.

The manager of the restaurant had taken pity on you, and decided not to charge you for the bread and olive oil. You thanked the manager and left the place, you felt like your cheeks were burning from the amount of embarrassment you were feeling.

As you drove back to your apartment, you immediately took off your heels and tied your hair into a messy bun, not caring about the delicate curls in your hair that took you hours to perfect. You walked to your bathroom and quickly wiped off your makeup with makeup wipes, attempting to bottle up your emotions so that the tears from your eyes wouldn’t spread the mascara to other places on your face. You changed into some sweatpants and a random shirt you found sitting in your closet.

As you came out of the bathroom, you entered the living room. Like always, it was pin drop silent. The only thing you could hear was the cars driving by your apartment complex. You decided to turn on the T.V in order for some sound to be produced, but it doesn’t feel the same as having some company. You ended up sinking into the couch and let out all your emotions.

You didn’t control the sobs coming out, the tears streaming down your face making your vision blurry, your breathing becomes uneven. You were sick of having to come home to a silent environment, you were just tired of it all.

—

You slowly wake up, the sunlight shining on your face. You’ve noticed that you are still curled up on the couch, as you slowly get up from your fetal position. Your bones start to crack and your head has a massive headache. As you adjust to the lighting of a new day, your phone starts to ring. You pick up your phone, seeing that Zendaya was calling you.

“Hello?” You ask as you answer the phone.

“Hey Y/N! I’ve taken Tom out on our lunch date and all the decorations are in my closet at our apartment so if you could use the spare key and decorate everything? So that way when we come back it will be an ultimate surprise!” Zendaya said in an exciting tone.

You glance over at the clock hanging on your wall, the time was 11:30 AM. You then stifle a yawn, “Yeah I can come over, I’ll use the spare key you gave me and then just text me when you're on your way back. Don’t worry Z, I got everything under control.” You respond .

“Great, I'll see you later then!” Zendaya said.

“Yep, see you later” you say and then end the call.

You slowly get up from the couch, making your knees pop. You slowly walk towards the bathroom to freshen up. You look at yourself in the mirror, the oversized shirt engulfing you while your eyes were puffy and bloodshot, your hair equivalent to a bird's nest. You sighed and turned on the faucet to wash your face. You then brush your teeth and take a warm and relaxing shower. After that, you comb out your hair, gently getting two strands of your hair from both sides and pinning it to the back of your head. Finally, changing into some black mom jeans and a black short sleeved shirt.

You then left your quiet apartment in order to go to another apartment filled with silence. The only difference was that the apartment that you were going to was temporarily silent while yours was almost always silent.

—

You finally reached their apartment and unlocked the door with the spare key that Zendaya gave to you. You looked around, observing how the apartment looked. You set your stuff and your gift for Tom on the kitchen counter.

As you were walking around the place, looking for the bedroom, you couldn’t help but start to feel a pang of jealousy as you looked around. Wait-what? No, you can’t be jealous of them. Tom’s never going to like you in that romantic way, there’s no sense in envying their relationship. You have to be happy for them, you must be happy for them. This is what everyone wanted, for them to be together.

You looked down, trying to avoid tears spilling on your face. You put your finger out in front of your face and caught a single tear drop that would’ve fallen on the floor if you wouldn’t have caught it. You then looked up, trying not to let anymore tears come out. After you composed yourself, you finally found the bedroom.

You entered the room and walked in the walk-in closet. You saw a big cardboard box labeled, “Tom’s special day <3” You assumed that this was the box containing all the decorations. You carried out the box from the closet and as you were leaving the room, you couldn’t help but notice the framed picture on the bed side table. The picture seemed to be a film picture of Zendaya kissing Tom’s cheek while they were in a trailer, pressumbily for a Spider-Man movie. The both of them seemed to be happy around each other, the joy in Tom’s eyes was a sight for sore eyes.

That’s what did it for you. Your heart starts to break, the feeling of your stomach dropping, your eyes getting watery yet again, the insecurities getting to your mind. You bit your lip while looking at it one last time before leaving the room.

You set the box down in the middle of the living room and opened it up. There were banners, balloons, birthday paper plates and cups, and much more. So there you were, setting up their living room with every single piece of decoration that was inside the box.

Once you were done with decorating the place, you decided to text everyone in the group chat that you made for Tom’s birthday to come over to the apartment. After around twenty minutes, the first couple of guests had arrived, Harrison, Tuwaine, Harry, and Sam. They were visiting from London and obviously couldn’t say no to Tom’s surprise party. You welcomed them inside, informing them that Zendaya and Tom were out on a lunch date and that they would come back soon. They nodded and set down their gifts on the kitchen counter, next to yours.

Soon, more and more guests arrived and were getting ready to surprise Tom. As the anticipation of Zendaya and Tom’s arrival was increasing, you got a text message from Zendaya that they were in the garage of the apartment complex.

You took a deep breath in as you looked at the text, you then announced, “Alright everyone! They’re going to be here any moment now! So everyone put on the party hats and turned off all the lights!” You exclaim to everyone.

They all nodded and started to gather up at the center of the living room while you made sure to set up your phone somewhere so that you could get Tom’s reaction on video. Finally all the lights were turned off, and the apartment was pin drop silent. But you liked this silence, knowing that there were people surrounding you.

You then heard the keys jingle as the door was slowly unlocking. As the lights turned on, you all yelled, “Surprise!!”

Tom flinched but then his eyes widened in shock and awe, all the people he loved in one place. “O-Oh my– Wow this is just– wow I have no words!” he says, still in shock.

Everyone started to laugh, then Tom turned to Zendaya, “Did you do all of this for me?” he asked with joy in his eyes.

Zendaya laughs at him, “Yes I did, but I also had Y/N help me.” She says while pointing in your direction, as you were front and center in the group.

You laughed, “I’m just glad I caught this all on video!” you said to them with a smile on your face, even though deep down inside you felt like the opposite of a smile. But you did a pretty damn good job of hiding it.

Tom laughs and smiles at you, causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach. “I literally don’t know what to say Y/N, thank you” he says genuinely while giving you a tight hug.

You cherished this moment, his hands wrapped around your waist while your hands were trapped around his abdomen. You treasured this moment that you had with him, as he hugged you in a friendly way while you hugged him like your life depended on it. Because you were sure that this was probably going to be the last interaction you’re going to have with him in some time.

—

Hours passed, the party was slowly dying down and everyone was starting to leave. Tom had just finished opening up his gifts and thanking everyone for attending. You decided to stay a little in order to help clean up the place.

The three of you were cleaning up the place, then Tom approached you, holding out a garbage bag so that you could throw in all the plastic red cups that you collected. He smiled at you while you smiled back at him.

You throw the cups in the bag, “Thanks for the gift by the way” he says.

You smile at him, “Of course, it seemed like the perfect gift” you say to him.

You gifted Tom the official Spider-Man golf balls, you knew he would love it and you were right.

“I didn’t even know that these existed, I’m definitely going to be using them on the golf course” He says to you with joy in eyes. But you knew that it was joy from the platonic relationship between you two.

You smile again at him again and start to gather all of your things since the living room was all clean. Zendaya came back from the bedroom as she was taking all the decorations down and putting them back in the box and storing them in the closet. You bid your goodbyes to both Tom and Zendaya and then left their apartment.

As you walked to your car, you couldn’t help but notice that you longed for a relationship like Tom and Zendaya. If you would’ve just admitted your feelings towards Tom, things could have possibly been different. Maybe it could have been you who shared an apartment with Tom, the one who took him out on a lunch date. You were sick of being alone and always being the third wheel to everyone. You just wanted something special like what they have. Maybe one day, you think to yourself.

#tom holland x reader #tom holland oneshot #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x zendaya #tom holland x y/n x zendaya #tom holland x platonic!reader #tom holland angst zendaya #i love zendaya #queen zendaya #tom holland angsty fic #tom holland one shot #merrell holland

31 notes · View notes