#i think that this one will be short compared to the majority of my fics

[jarofstyles]

Stacy’s Mom

Stacy’s mom has got it goin’ on… and Harry’s definitely been noticing for a while.

We haven’t seen a lot of reverse age gap fics and figured it was our time to contribute to the cause. We hope you enjoy!

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Warnings- age gap, unprotected sex, teasing, creampie, soft dom!H

———————

His lip was bitten as he watched her walk across the backyard, sunglasses hiding his gaze. The back of her sundress brushed the softness of her thighs, her hair pulled up in a claw clip as she placed snacks down on the glass table for the group of friends that often frequented the pool at her house. The very house she had won in the divorce just three years ago. 

Stacy’s parents had always been generous when it came to letting their home be the epicenter of their friend groups’ hang out. It didn’t stop when they all came home from uni for the summer, everyone falling back into their routine with the hometown group, or after they’d graduated and some had stayed in town. Drunken food at the diner, pub crawls- legally this time-, the mall, the summer carnival, and movie nights and pool days at Stacy’s house. It was spacious and clean and it had only changed a little bit since the divorce. Her hotshot lawyer father paid a nice big chunk of change in alimony keeping the comfortable lifestyle afloat, one Harry was aiming to get for himself. Hopefully after he opened up a garage or two, he’d be able to grab a house like this. Make someone happy. 

The problem is, the last three summers all he could think about was someone he definitely shouldn’t be. 

It was no secret that she was incredible. Everyone loved Y/N from the start and not just because she was the ‘cool, young mom’ who didn’t make them call her by her last name. She was genuinely kind, loved to make them snacks, would pick up anyone who needed it, let them nurse their hangovers at their house and made them the greasy breakfasts they needed to get through the mornings. The woman was an angel- and she had an exterior to match. 

It seemed like in the last few years though, she had been rediscovering herself and her body. Dressing in ways she hadn’t before, ways he knew Stacy’s father wouldn’t like. Denim shorts and tank tops, sundresses, the like. Things that made Harry’s crush morph from minor to major. Y/N had become the centerfold to his wet dreams, the woman he compared other girls to, the one he closed his eyes and imagined in the shower when he was stroking off. He watched her in her kitchen while she chopped up fruit for them, her back turned and imagined approaching her from behind and placing kisses on her neck, hiking the dress up and offering her all the fun she could want. 

There was something so tempting about the older woman. Harry’d always sort of had that preference, but it had intensified as he grew up. His friends liked to prod at him about being into MILFs and he couldn’t deny it. He was. There was certainly one mother he’d love to fuck, and it was Stacy’s. In all honesty, it was half the reason he kept showing up here. 

“I hate to say it, Stace- your mom is banging.” Jeremy said what Harry was thinking but got a smack upside the head with a waterlogged pool noodle, making him yelp. 

“Do not talk about my mom like that you freak!” She hissed. “She’s a beautiful woman but none of you are going to even think about her in any way but my mother.” Her warning glare did little to deter Harry, though he merely shrugged at her to get her to think he agreed. There was no way in the world that he would ever turn away a chance to be alone with Y/N. He would beg on his knees for a chance to touch her. 

“Don’t look at me! I’m just saying it. Harry’s the one who’s the MILF Hunter.” Jacob snickered, making him raise an eyebrow. It was true and he wanted to smirk- because yes, he’d fucked a few older women before. Being a mechanic during the week and a bartender during the weekend had their perks, including women who found him to be more than a bit interesting. There had been a few instances he’d taken them up on their offers, quelling their loneliness and lack of orgasm with his own brand of fun. But none of them had ever appealed to him quite like Y/N. 

The forbidden fruit theory, maybe. He really, really shouldn’t even entertain it. A crush turned into an obsession though, he was fucked. The moment he thought he had a chance, he would be taking it. As cocky as he could be, he knew he would be able to handle her. 

“Yeah, but Harry’s not going to say stupid shit to my mom.” She huffed. 

With a smirk on his face, Harry gave a half ass nod before watching the woman of discussion shoot them a beaming smile across the yard before she turned to go back inside. Harry’s eyes ate up every curve, every drop, every inch of skin he could see before she closed the sliding glass door to the deck. 

If only she knew. 

——

Harry was sitting at home when he got a call from a number he didn’t recognize. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence. People usually gave his number out to people who had car trouble, knowing he was reliable and could always use a bit of cash. It wasn’t something he minded, but he was exhausted tonight. Sitting down in his apartment, he exhaled slowly before clicking the green button to answer the phone. 

“Hello, who’s this?” He asked gruffly, his slight agitation bleeding into his tone.

“H-Hi! I’m so sorry to call you so late, but it’s Y/N. Stacy’s mum.” She said shyly. “I’m sorry to bother you Harry, but my car… it’s not starting. I was meant to go to the grocery but it’s just making this noise and-“ 

His whole body shot up straight as he got confirmation as to who it was. Was it some sort of joke? Or were the angels smiling down on him for once? Any ache in his body and heaviness in his eye disappeared as he stood up from the sofa, making his way towards the door. 

“M’on my way. It’s no trouble.” He said in a softer tone, thankful he had already showered. Maybe he’d need to do it again, but he wanted to look halfway decent for Y/N. “It’ll be about 15 for me to get over there.” 

“Oh-are you sure?” Her voice was slightly hesitant. “You sound tired and I can order groceries if I need to, I really don’t want to put you out.” 

“Promise, it’s not a big deal.” He assured her, tucking his wallet into his jeans before opening his front door. “I’d always help you with whatever you need. Didn’t mean t’’sound so grumpy, I didn’t know it was you calling.” He’d have been halfway to her house if he had known. “Give me 15 and I’ll be there.”

“As long as you’re sure.” He could tell she was doing the worried thing she usually did with her fingers touching her bottom lip. There had been a lot of silent observing on his end towards the woman and he could almost see her in his head. “I’ll make sure to make it up to you.” 

Even though there was nothing suggestive in her tone, Harry could feel his prick stiffen up at the mere thought of it meaning something more. It took the whole drive there to will it down. 

—-

Harry arrived to the house to see the garage doors open- and Stacy’s car gone. 

Was this his divine intervention? He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but he knew she had to be gone. Harry was the one who did all the work on their cars, so it wasn’t in the shop. More than likely they’d be all alone. 

The summer night was cooling off a bit but there was still a decent amount of daylight left. The stickiness had subsided and it was far more comfortable than he had been at work all day in his damn coveralls. He’d sweat up a storm and cringed the moment he’d had a moment to himself, hating how hot the garage got in the summer months. His own garages would have proper AC one day. 

He was thankful for the heat though when he saw Y/N come out from the garage, her lavender dress obviously a swimsuit cover up. The straps of a bikini were underneath it, the halter top of the dress tied behind her neck. It was shorter than her normal dresses making Harry peer up at the sky and ask anyone who was up there to lend him some strength in order to not pop a stiffy in front of her- at least not yet. 

“You really didn’t have to come out so quickly. I didn’t think before calling you.” Y/N crossed her arms as she walked towards the younger man who was fishing his toolbox out of the back of his pickup truck. She couldn’t help but admire how much of a man he’d truly become. Tattooed now, shown off by his black tank top. Hair a bit unruly and curled. Stubble on his upper lip and jaw. He was a man now, not a hint of boy in the slightest, and it was a little intimidating. She remembered him when he was far more lanky, 19 and shy. Now he was 23, with larger arms and broadened shoulders, a pretty set of lips and a husky voice. Things she shouldn’t have been paying attention to. 

There had been a bit of tension between them somehow, tension she hadn’t been able to pinpoint where it had begun. The one thing she did know is that he was an observer. His eyes were watching her when she came out and he kept eye contact as they spoke, like he was giving her every bit of attention he had when she was talking. Maybe it was the heart sickness she felt but it was so nice to feel listened to, appreciated. Harry always helped clean up, always told her daughter to be respectful to her mum, always asked her how her day was. He was a complete gentleman every time he came over and she had to wonder how much of a problem it was for her to sort of wish for that attention all the time. 

Ever since she had found out Patrick had been cheating on her, she’d felt a bit used. Dirty. Of course marrying a man 10 years her senior who was a hotshot lawyer had probably been her first sign something would go wrong, but he used to dote on her. That was until she began to age. It wasn’t like she was old- she could probably still have a kid if she wanted! But she’d gotten pregnant at 17 and Patrick had been quick to marry her on her 18th birthday. A problematic union at best, but she’d tried to be happy. She was provided for and had a beautiful home and daughter, one so smart she was able to skip around in school! But… she’d never felt truly loved. Not that toe curling, soft eyed, tummy turning love that she’d always imagined. 

Not even the passion she wanted. All she wanted at this point was for someone to want her. To make a move, to show her she was sexy and prove that her newfound revelations were true. 

The last three years had been tearing herself down to build back up. There was some part of her that felt 22 again, wanting to live the life she hadn’t been able to as a young mum. But that didn’t mean she had to look at Harry the way her brain was trying to. 

“Stacy is at a concert a few hours away otherwise I would have just asked her to borrow her car.” Having him here now made her feel all the more ridiculous for calling him over for such a stupid reason. Tomorrow would have at least been during normal work hours.

“Y/N.” Harry’s hand rested on her shoulder, making her breath catch quietly. “S’fine. I’m more than happy to help you. Alright?” His thumb rubbed over the cuff of her shoulder before he gently lifted his hand away, carrying his toolbox further into the garage. 

She felt a bit buzzed, as pathetic as it was. It had been so long since a man had touched her, let alone a younger, attractive one. It made her feel like her brain had fogged up. 

“Keys in the ignition?” He murmured. “Want t’see what we’re working with.” 

It was enough to shake her out of her fog, nodding a bit too eagerly as he gave her a soft smile, sitting himself in the driver’s seat. She leaned against the garage door as she watched him turn it over a few times to no avail, making her worry her bottom lip between her teeth. She had no idea about anything car related and luckily it had all been minor stuff until now. Her ex had the cars serviced every few months and she had been dropping the ball. What if it was bad? What if she needed a new engine and Harry thought she was an awful car owner? What if-

Her train of thought was snapped out of it as he let out a chuckle, standing up from the seat. “I know what it is. Isn’t a big problem at all.” He walked over to his toolbox. “Battery is dead. You may have accidentally left the key in, or a door open, maybe a light on. Not a big deal. I’ll just give it a jump.” 

While he didn’t seem annoyed about it at all, Y/N felt very, very dumb. How could she have not known that’s what it was? Something so easy to fix. Her cheeks burned as she cringed, feeling the guilt well up in her body for making him come out when she could have just asked a neighbor for a jump. 

It took him just a few tries with her following his instruction to turn the car on when she said so in order for her car to turn on as if nothing had happened. It was slightly humiliating.

“Oh, god… Harry, I’m so sorry.” She groaned. “I’m not… I’m not good with cars and I thought the engine was dead or something big happened to it. I made you leave your house for no reason. I can’t begin to say how awful I feel.” It felt even more embarrassing because it was such a quick fix and he was an expert in cars. She probably seemed like a bobble head. 

“Woah- S’okay.” He closed the hood of her car and detached the jumper cables. “It’s actually a good thing. I’d rather it be a quick fix than something that would cost you thousands. That’s the ideal. No one is an expert in cars right away and m’sure that the whole thing was probably be a bit troubling if it’s the first time it’s happened to you.” His voice tried to soothe her worries away. The man truly looked unbothered by it all, happy to help- but still. 

“Well… if you’re sure.” It still felt hot around her cheeks as she made her way towards the door leading to the kitchen. “Come inside, I’ll get you something for helping me.” 

Harry let out a sigh as she waited at the door for him, tucking his toolbox and cables back into his car before following her inside. A mixture of giddiness and nerves rocked through his system as she led him towards the kitchen where her handbag was. Alone with her at last- and with a good excuse. No one would question him coming over to help with the car. Surely, Stacy had given her his number. He had every right to be here. 

So why couldn’t he extend his stay? 

“How much do I owe you?” Her hair fell in her face as she looked down into her bag, fishing around for her wallet. It was always a bit of a mess with receipts she needed to toss, makeup she needed to put away, a first aid kit she’d only really ever needed once- all the things making it more difficult to find her wallet. So difficult that she didn’t notice how close he got until his warm, slightly calloused hand closed over hers, gently pulling it out of the bag. 

Her heart stuttered as she raised her head to look at him. Tanned skin from being out in the sun, a few freckles here and there. A birthmark near his mouth she’d never noticed. He had more scruff than the last time she had seen him too, making her mouth dry a bit as she blinked up at the man, her hand suddenly feeling much smaller in his own. He was a bit too close but there was no desire in the slightest to pull back.

“You know me a bit better than t’think that I’d charge you for a jump.” His voice was low, soft. A volume it didn’t need to be for it being just the two of them. He also didn’t need to be this close to her, close enough to smell a warm, woodsy soap on him and mint from the gum he was usually chewing. Her body felt hot under where he touched her, heartbeat quickening at his unforgiving eye contact. 

“B-but you came all the way out here.” She whispered back. It wasn’t necessary to talk that low but it was following his tone, the tension palpable in the room. “I’d feel awful for making you come for nothing. I really should pay you.” His stare was intimidating but also… a bit addicting. He didn’t look away from her- no, his eyes looked over her face. Maybe she had imagined the lingering at her lips, but part of her hoped she didn’t. 

“Have you had dinner yet?” His question made her slightly confused, not the response she had been expecting. 

“No, why? Did you want me to cook for you?” That made her perk up a bit. She had to do something to repay him. It wouldn’t be right not to. 

“No. I want t’cook for you.” His words were matter of fact. There was no way she didn’t believe his desire to do so, considering he looked so sure of himself. It just was a bit confusing. Her brows furrowed, head tilting a little as she turned more towards him- all too aware he hadn’t dropped her hand from his grip yet- giving him that questioning look. “You have the ingredients for chicken teriyaki? Rice?” When she nodded, his eyes glanced over to the pineapple in her fruit bowl. “Saw a recipe on how t’make it in a pineapple bowl. Was going to do it this weekend but I’d like to make it here. A bit more room in this kitchen and… it’d be nice to eat with someone.” He wasn’t shy about letting her know he’d like to eat with her. “May I?”

“I- I mean of course you can, but it doesn’t… how is it payment for you? For you to be the one to cook me dinner?” It was a bit hard for her to understand. She was the one who did the cooking for everyone else and it sounded like he was doing her yet another favor. 

“Because you’re fun to be around, nice to talk to, I won’t have t’shop for the ingredients, and m’starving.” It was self explanatory to him. He wanted to get away with spending as much time with her as possible. Especially when she seemed to be so shocked at the idea of someone being nice to her without the thought of repayment. It sort of pissed him off. “Just sit and talk to me while I cook. It’ll be nice to hear you without people interjecting.” 

Y/N hadn’t realized he had noticed that. His back was already turned, going through her fridge to get the chicken out along with some of the ingredients for the sauce but her brain was still on that. Had his shoulders always been that broad? Harry had always been quiet and observant. The nice guy, sweet and thoughtful but he didn’t seem to take any of the friend groups shit. Stacy was the youngest out of them all and he’d always been thoughtful about her. Protective over her feelings- to the point Y/N had assumed Harry had a bit of a crush on her at first. That proved to be false when she’d heard about Harry being set up with one of the mothers of the kid’s Stacy taught swim lessons to. 

One of her faults was indeed being nosy, and she’d listened in on her daughter when she dropped off lunch to the pool talking to said mother. She was definitely younger than herself with a much younger child but she apparently had one good night with Harry before he politely decided not to see her again. 

She wasn’t dumb. Y/N heard their teasing of Harry liking older women… and perhaps that’s why he made her a tad bit nervous. It wasn’t like he’d ever made a move, but he had a sensual air around him. He’d been gentle with her today, but never inappropriate. Was it bad to wish he would?

The answer was a resounding yes, it was not at all something she should ever want- but that didn’t mean that’s what her brain was thinking. 

She pulled out a pineapple wine she’d gotten as a gift, never a more appropriate time. A glass was poured for each of them as Harry went about the motions, preparing and chopping and starting the rice. Maybe adding alcohol into the mix wasn’t the smartest idea, but she needed something to take the nervous edge off.

“Is it lonely in a big house like this?” Harry asked as he dropped the chicken into the pan. “When Stace is gone, does it feel a little daunting?” 

“Sometimes.” She pursed her lips. “It’s been my house for a while now so I’m used to all the noises and I know all the neighbors. You can hear the kids playing outside, lawnmowers, or people getting home from work.‘At night it can be… it can be a bit unnerving. Cold. But Patrick was gone a lot of nights at the office, so it’s nothing I’m not used to.” A bitter scoff left her as she took a sip of wine before shaking her head, face falling. “Sorry. I know that’s the last thing you want to hear about.” 

“No.” He said simply. “I’d like to. I don’t mind.” His tongue ran over his bottom lip before he met her eyes, placing his wine glass on the counter. “Everyone needs someone to vent to sometimes, Y/N. Know m’younger than you and all but I’m not clueless when it comes to relationships.” A gentle smile softened the blow of the words. “Tell me about it if you want. You don’t have to censor yourself. Not around me. It’s just us.” 

There was a burn in her belly at the last few words. It felt… really fucking nice to be told that. That he wanted to earnestly hear her talk. He was an incredible listener, she found. It made her wonder how much of what she said in the past he had really heard. 

“Uh… well…” twirling the glass in her hand, her fingers tightened around the stem as she had to break eye contact with him. It was making her feel a little light headed. “He was cheating, as I’m sure you know. Stacy didn’t take it well. She’d cut up all his ties by the time I found her.” Her smile quirked on her lips. Her daughter had a thirst for revenge. “It was worse when I found out it wasn’t just one person but multiple women. All at his job. It’s why he moved firms.” Her lips tightened as she looked towards the sliding glass door that was open to let the air in, the sun having started to set just a bit ago. A golden glow ran over the kitchen and she had a hard time not staring at the man in front of her. 

“I… I’m not sure how much you know of myself and Patrick, but we were in a relationship when I turned 17. He was 27. I thought it was very impressive and I was so mature for my age that he chose me, but it wasn’t. It was wrong. And when I got pregnant, we had to hide it until I turned 18 and he could marry me. His parents were lovely grandparents to Stacy but awful parents to him in the way they enabled his behavior. So for a long time I just thought it was a big star crossed love story when in reality, he stole my youth from me. I don’t ever regret my daughter- don’t get me wrong.” Her look was desperate for him to believe her, but he didn’t seem to have any judgment on his face. It was a breath of fresh air considering people usually gave her pitying looks this far along. 

“I love her and I wouldn’t change it. Everything happens for a reason but… I’m just a bit bitter now. My best years spent on him and he’s fucking other women because I’m ’showing my age’ and I’m essentially aged out.” Her face curled in disgust. “I work hard on my body! I keep up with my appearance! You know? I’m not lazy. I didn’t let myself go which- even if I did, that’s no fucking excuse for cheating. Marriage was supposed to be for love, for better or for worse. At least that's what I naively thought.” It had been so long since she had someone to talk to, someone who didn’t seem to fucking judge her or try and tell her it was okay. Harry merely nodded, keeping his eyes trained on her face as she got it out. 

“It should be what marriage is for.” He replied in a bit of a lull. “I mean, I’ve never been married but… S’a simple enough concept to understand. I don’t think you were naive in thinking that. He was just a dick for taking advantage of you.” Harry didn’t like Patrick much from the start. He’d been a show off, obviously trying to compensate for something. He’d sort of steamrolled over things Y/N used to say, and even though he’d only seen them married for a few times he came over. It was a good thing they divorced in his humble opinion, and not just because he was a bit obsessed with the woman standing in front of him. She seemed to grow from it, her confidence rising tenfold.  He’d been holding her back. “I don’t think there’s much wrong with an age gap… as long as the parties are both of legal age.” He chopped the pineapple in half, making sure to make it even. “So, m’sorry you had to go through that. Stacy is great, but I wish you didn’t have to feel that way. It’s shit.” 

Y/N felt a bit validated with his words. Maybe it was the wine, but she had a feeling it was just his presence that had her relaxing. He was right on all counts, but it was a little hard to accept at times after being manipulated her whole adult life. Someone was agreeing with her that weren’t her own parents. “Thank you.” She whispered. “I’m glad at least you think so. People kept telling me that marriages have bumps in the road and I was being a bit rash, filing for divorce so quickly after I found out but… Cheating is just not something I can stomach. I think they were thinking about his money, his reputation. Cared more about how he would be seen than if I was happy. I had to do a lot of cleaning up after the divorce. Friends I had for years chose his side and… yeah. I’ve been a little lonely.” A sad laugh left her before she cleared her throat. The man probably didn’t want to hear about that. “But luckily I’ve found more fulfilling things. It’s nice when you guys come around.” Her smile grew genuinely. “I’ve always liked taking care of people. That was one perk of being in the situation I was. Being a mum was great. It’s a bit jarring now though, with her out of the house the majority of the time. So, in the long roundabout answer to your first question- yes, the big house is a bit daunting sometimes.” 

Y/N had rambled and babbled. Harry had been happy to listen, attentive even while cooking. She knew she may be embarrassed later about spilling her fucking guts out to him when he had only come over to fix her not so broken car and decided he wanted to make her dinner, but it was so fucking refreshing to have someone in her kitchen with her. 

It was embarrassing how much she missed male attention. She’d wanted to clench her thighs together when he grabbed her shoulder earlier and it was pathetic, but it was hard not to notice how wonderful Harry was. He was hardworking, intelligent, sweet, charitable, understanding and stupidly fucking handsome. He could cook too, apparently. Something her ex husband could never even attempt. 

“Thank you for sharin’ all that with me.” His voice was even and smooth as he gave her a gentle smile. “I, for one, am glad you divorced him. I think you’re incredible. You don’t deserve someone who’ll step out on you. Let out multiple times.” It truly did piss him off. The man had a woman who was willing to give the world and still managed to be greedy for other women and fucked it up. “I’ve never really understood that sort of thing but, I think you’re too good for him anyways. Know you said you feel like you wasted your youth and by the risk of sounding a bit cliche, age is just a number in this instance. You can do anything you want now that you think you would have wanted to do back then. And..” He smirked slightly. “You look like you could still be in your twenties. So I wouldn’t worry too much about that. Him acting like aging is a sin in any situation is fucking dumb considering it’s something unavoidable and sorta beautiful if you ask me. Older, wiser, more experience. It’s a good thing. To me, at least.” 

Y/N did know of his taste for older women and though she had no intention of bringing it up, she seemingly couldn’t keep her mouth shut tonight. Without permission from her mouth, the words fell out like a tumble. “Is that why you go for older women?”

The room fell silent for a minute and she could feel the return of the heat under her cheeks, eyes widening as she snapped her hand over her mouth. It wasn’t something she wanted him to know that she knew, but too fucking late now. His head tilted back up, eyes falling on her own wide ones before he let out a laugh. A reaction she hadn’t expected in the slightest. Her hand fell in a motion to try and apologize but he lifted his own to stop her, calming from the laughter as he shook his head. 

“Fuck, M’sorry. I didn’t mean t’laugh, but you looked like you scared the shit out of yourself.” He giggled, running his fingers over the corners of his mouth as they curled into a smirk. “It’s fine. You don’t need to apologize. We’re both adults here.” A clear definition that he was definitely seeing himself on her level. “It’s okay t’ask me about, love. I’m fine talking about it. You just told me details about your divorce so this seems a little tame in comparison.”

As much as she hated herself for it, her stomach flipped at the term of endearment. Harry and her hadn’t spent much time alone before but he had never called her that before. Maybe it was a bit of a bond forming being alone with him. He’d always been a bit ahead of the others in terms of maturity. Not in a creepy way like Patrick used to say about her, but in a genuine hard working way. He’d taken his jobs, career, and promises seriously. It was hard not to know how reliable he was when people constantly used that word to describe him. Seeing him as more of an equal instead of his daughter’s friend was easy when they weren’t around. There was that old soul type of thing she liked.

“I obviously did not mean for that to come out of my mouth. But uh-” She ran a hand over her dress to self-soothe. “I heard them teasing about you and one of the mum’s of the kids Stacy teaches had been bragging about…” The woman didn’t need to finish her stance before Harry laughed through his nose, trying to hide his smirk. 

“Ah.” He nodded, turning the heat off on the stove and pouring the sauce onto the chicken. “Yeah. I do, I’ve always preferred older women. I get teased for it but it’s just what I’m attracted to.” There was that thought in his mind though, wondering what the woman had been bragging about. He’d sure as hell fucked her well and thoroughly, but at the end of it he had opened his eyes and it wasn’t Y/N. It’s his common problem these days. Falling out of interest when he realized he was chasing a feeling from people that weren’t the object of his affections. “I went out with her once… went back to her place.” He shrugged. “It was alright. I was pretty up front about not being sure we clicked but she wanted me to come in, so…” He shrugged. The girl didn’t seem to have hard feelings when she texted him a few days later asking for a repeat and he declined because he was going to be here for a get together. 

“Can I ask why?” Morbid curiosity, that’s what she would call it. It was killing her since she had found out though. Why does a young man, almost in his prime, go for older women specifically? Not that she didn’t think they weren’t worth that, but it wasn’t the norm. “If it’s not too personal.”

“You can get personal with me, Y/N. I don’t mind.” He clarified, dishing some rice into the pineapple bowls he’d carved out. “I think there’s a few aspects to it but I appreciate maturity. One of my first experiences was with someone a few years older than me and it kept going from there. I enjoy intelligent conversation. Someone who can keep up and not just talk about the things girls my age talk about. Nothing wrong with them at all, but every time I’ve tried dating someone my age it’s fallen flat. I enjoy dates at nice restaurants or at home. Cooking for them, listening to music. I work a lot, I’m not much for clubs. Even pub crawls have been a lot for me at times considering I work at a bar on the weekends, work all day in a garage. People my age don’t usually seem to understand or appreciate my work ethic but.. I want a house like this one day.” He motioned around the kitchen. “I’ve been saving loads of money, staying in my apartment and making sure I don’t spend crazily. I’ve always been a bit of a romantic, so I want t’provide for someone one day. Maybe that’s a little old fashioned but It’s fulfilling to me. Want to open my own garage, maybe multiple and… I dunno, older women have always been more receptive to my plans, to the way I am. And I’m not a huge texter. I like phone calls, seeing someone in person. Dating my age is a lot of that.”

It wasn’t a shock to her that his ethics would be a turn off for younger women who sometimes got a bit in their head about the attention they needed. It wasn’t a drag or anything of that nature, but a lot of younger women relied on that sort of thing. Texting all day that he obviously wouldn’t be able to do. They deserved the relationships they wanted but so did Harry. It was a surprisingly nice answer from him. He had lots of decent reasons that made her feel a little more intrigued than she should be, but she couldn’t help it. The man was alluring. 

“And… permission to overshare a little bit?” He asked, wanting to test the waters. Y/N looked intrigued, nodding as she leaned on the counter. “Older women tend to be a bit more.. Compatible with me sexually. A bit more eager. Some are experienced but it isn’t really about that, it’s about knowing what you want. Being a little less shy in asking for what they want. Everyone’s different of course, but I find that a disappointing amount of men aren’t giving women what they want, and I’ve been happy to provide that. I’m a giver, it’s what I like. So…” His pink tongue ran over his bottom lip as he kept eye contact with her. “There’s that aspect of it too.” 

Y/N could feel the slight throb between her legs as he spoke. There was no hint of shyness in his face as he spoke to her, just matter of fact. He had no shame, if anything he seemed.. A little smug. Something that oddly made her stomach flip and flutter  as he pushed her plate towards her and settled on the opposite side of the island, sitting on the stool. 

“I.. I can see that.” She murmured, knowing she must look a little flustered. Considering it had been years since she’d had sex, just the way he was looking at her was working her up a bit further than she would ever want to admit. “I think..” If he was oversharing, maybe she should too. Or maybe that was the slight buzz the wine had provided. “I’m still trying to learn what it is I want. I was only with one person my whole life and then… After the divorce I had a one night stand and it was not at all satisfying. I’ve meant to try and go on dates more often but the few I’ve been on just didn’t feel right.” It wasn’t something she talked about often at all. She had her two girlfriends she talked to about sex- or lack thereof- and the toys they got in order to satisfy what their dates couldn’t. 

This little tidbit had Harry leaning in a bit closer, chewing the first bite of his food. It was surprisingly good for a recipe he’d found on a social media site, but he was far more interested in what Y/N had to say. “I mean it’s only natural, isn’t it? To be curious?” He waved his fork in the air. “Was he satisfying you in your marriage?” The look on her face was all he needed to see for an answer. Her lips pulled in and her gaze averted, he did feel a seedling of pity for the woman- but hope for himself. One man’s loss was another’s gain, wasn’t it? He would be able to actually pleasure her. He knew he could. He hadn’t failed yet, and there were genuine feelings there for her so… he had a lot of faith he’d be willing and able to please her. Half of the battle was just listening to her. Knowing what she wanted. “It’s okay, I can tell what your answer is. But m’sorry to hear that.” He frowned. “You deserved better than all of that. I know you don’t need me to tell you that, but you deserved a hell of a lot more for what he put you through.” Personally, Harry would never drop the ball like that. 

Realistically, Y/N was his dream woman and this was without knowing what she liked in bed. Everything about her was perfect to him, all except the pesky fact that she was the mother of one of his friends- but honestly? He was willing to risk it. She was worth that sort of risk. She had the demeanor, the charm, the intelligence, and so far, the sort of lifepath that aligned with him. He had to talk his way into it a little bit more than likely, but he was ready to try. 

“Thank you, Harry.” Y/N knew she probably looked a little flustered. She was. He was saying all the right things and she felt a weird level of comfort with him that she hadn’t experienced before. He was a man. Maybe he was younger than her, but he had a level head. He could cook. He worked multiple job, had ambitions, he knew what he wanted and he wanted to be a provider. Something that she found to be overwhelmingly sexy. She was noticing him in less than appropriate ways more and more. Like how cut his jaw was as he chewed his food, the scruff on his face, his strong, big hands. So fucking big, making the fork he held look small. His arms were built, flexing as he leaned against the countertop. The memory of his broad shoulders wasn’t too far from her brain either. “You’re… I haven’t spoken to a lot of people about that stuff. I don’t mean to take up too much of your time tonight, I know you must be tired after work but… I really appreciate you coming here, fixing my car, cooking. Talking to me. You’re great company.” 

“Like I said earlier, I like being around you.” It felt like he could see into her soul. Green peering inside of her, spreading her open. “If m’being honest, there aren’t many other places I’d rather be. M’happy to help you with whatever you need.” 

If Y/N was crazy, she’d think it was a double meaning. She’d overthink and imagine that he was implying something not so appropriate. Things that had her tummy flipping and cunt weeping. Pathetic, she knew that. Here she was, lusting after the younger man as he stared at her from across her kitchen. The sun had now set and the darkness was beginning to set in, and she wanted more than anything to take his hand and drag him upstairs to her bedroom but she had to clear her brain before she did something rash. “I enjoy spending time with you too.” Her smile was soft as she took her plate and brought it to the sink. “Just let me clean these dishes and then I’ll walk you to your car. You’ve been such a help tonight.” 

Y/N felt a little shaky as she turned the water on and let it run over the dirty pan and the other dishes she hadn’t quite gotten to. As much as washing dishes was something people usually hated, the girl found it a little therapeutic. She’d just gotten into it, relaxing just a bit when she felt a hand curl around her hip, a cleared plate set into the sink and the other hand shutting the water off on her. “What-”

“I think we’re dancing around it now, Sweetheart.” He said lowly, cuffing his other hand on her waist. Her body stilled as he pressed himself into her, his confidence high as he watched her shaky hand drop the sponge. “I think there’s something we both want and you don’t know how to ask for. And that’s okay.” His nose brushed the shell of her ear as she closed her eyes, swallowing thickly. “I know that you haven't been taken care of. I know you weren’t satisfied in the ways you deserved. I meant it when I said that there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. Y’know that, right?”

“Harry, what are you doing?” Her voice was breathy as she clenched her over the counter but making no move to leave his grip. 

“I’ve been after you for a while, Y/N. I think you pretend to not notice how I look at you. I think… you were a little jealous when you found out I took that mum from the swim group out and fucked her, because you wanted it to be you. But let me assure you… I wanted it to be you, too.” His heat spread along her back as his fingers moved to splay over her tummy, the same tummy that was a mess of butterflies just under his fingertips. 

“You did?” While she should have been shutting this down considering this man was friends with her daughter… she couldn’t. Not when he was making her feel more listened to, more desired, more aroused than she had been since… well, possibly her whole life. 

“Of course, love. To be honest, I was tryin’ to give you time to adjust. To be single, to find more of yourself. You’ve blossomed so much since I’ve known you. I knew you’d probably want t’reject me because of how you know me, but I just need a chance to prove to you that I can be what you need.” The chills on her skin were unavoidable as his lips smeared over her neck, groaning quietly as he inhaled. “You smell so fucking good, y’know that? Makes me crazy. No one else smells like you… I knew touching you would ruin me.” He pulled her further into him, laying the first kiss on the hinge of her jaw. “I’d be fucked. But I’ve been fucked for a while now. No distraction took away from the fact that any body under mine wasn’t you. Wasn’t the voice I wanted saying my name. I just want to show you that m’worth the risk.” 

The low baritone of his voice was making her want to whimper. Soft, hot lips pressed a trail of gentle kisses down her throat that got progressively more wet, making her cunt follow. Leaning back into him, it was hard to fight when her body felt like it needed him. His hand pressing on her stomach, pushing her all the way back until she felt him. Her gasp was wet, a chuckle vibrated against her throat as he ground himself against her ass.

“I’d fill you up. Make you feel it all the way in here.” The pressure on her stomach suddenly made a flash of heat boil in her belly, imagining it. Craving it. It always felt like something was missing during sex anyways. “I know you need it. You need someone to worship you, to make you understand just how irresistible you are. I’ve been dying to do that for you. Makes me so fucking angry t’know the people who’ve had you haven’t pleasured you, made you unsatisfied while I was dreaming about just a fucking lick of you. Just a squeeze.” Her hand fell on top of his own, breathing a bit more labored as the length of him against her ass taunted her further. 

“You were?” The woman knew she probably sounded a bit wrecked but she was. Harry was making her needy, desperation filling her chest in a way that almost overwhelmed her. She was hungry for more, more of his touch, his lips, his confessions. 

“Mhm. Had t’get my fill in those little touches you’d give me. Running you hand over my back, brushing past me in the kitchen, grabbing my hand. I’ve been wanting to hold you like this. Kiss you until you can't breathe. Make you cum on my fingers, my tongue, my cock, make you melt just for me. S’that something you’d want, baby?” His teeth grazed her jaw getting a little whimper from her throat. “Hm? I’d like some words from you. I don’t mind doin’ most of the talking, but don’t leave me hanging.” 

“I would- yeah. I would like that.” She was indeed panting. If she was a different woman she’d probably be ashamed over how much she was actually gagging for it, but there was something that made her truly believe that Harry could back up every single claim he said. “I haven’t been touched in so long but… you’ve made me feel so good already.” The admission made him smile against her skin, she could feel it. “Is this- do you just want sex?” 

“No.” Her neck felt cold as he pulled away, manhandling her a bit and making her enjoy it far too much as she was turned and reversed in position to be facing him now. Her chin was grabbed between his fingers and his now dark eyes pinned her own. “S’not just a fuck to me. I like you, Y/N. Know it’ll be a little complicated considering the situation but to put it bluntly, I don’t give a fuck.” There was no room left for doubt with his words. “I want you. I’ve wanted you for fucking years, and unless you don’t want me, there’s nothing and no one else that’s gonna keep me from getting what I want.” When she failed to reply, he coaxed it from her. “C’mon, baby. Words.” 

“I-I want that. I just didn’t know it was so serious for you.” She felt her cheeks flush at the intensity of it all. “It’s a good thing though… You’re making me a little dizzy.”

“Yeah?” He crooned. “A little dizzy? So fucking cute. I intend to do more than that, though.” Without another word, he took her mouth. Took it like he owned it, kissed her like it was already his. 

Y/N melted into it immediately. Fell into the kiss and clutched his shirt to pull him closer as he made her brain empty of any thoughts but ones pertaining to him. How big his hands were, how easily he moved her around, how soft his lips were, how he tasted, the slight smell of motor oil underlying the fresh, clean smell that followed him over here. It was pathetic, maybe, to completely resign herself, to hand herself over to the younger man but… could anyone blame her?

Yes, he was younger. But he kissed like he had been hand plucked to be attached to her lips. His tongue brushed into her mouth and she moaned out loud, allowing him to kiss her any way he wanted. Y/N was touch starved and she knew it, but there was something electric about the way he held her. The way he kissed like he was starving, like he couldn’t get enough of her. His hand slipped down her back and greedily palmed her ass, squeezing it tight enough to make her whimper. It had been so fucking long since someone touched her like they knew what they were doing, like they knew what to do to make her feel good. Harry acted like she belonged to him already, pulling her leg up over his waist as he pressed her into the counter. “Hop up.” he whispered against her lips, using his hands to cuff her waist and tug her right up on the countertop. 

Immediately her legs were spread and his body was between them. While he was somewhat lean, he was broad. His arms were big, his hands were too. She had to spread a bit and let her dress ride up as he manhandled her, yanking her back so she was right up against him. The sweetest whimper left her lips and translated to his, making him pull back to look down at her. Her smeared lip gloss and wide, glossy eyes looking up at him. Hair a little messy when it was usually styled, she looked… alive. The way he wanted her to feel with him. “M’gonna spread you open and get a taste, because I’ve been fucking dying for it for years.” He told her bluntly. “But just a taste. I’ll spend hours between these perfect damn thighs tonight… but I need to be inside of you.” He felt like he toed the line between unhinged and the most control he ever had. The man knew what he wanted, he told her what she was going to get, and yet he felt like he had never been more passionate about something in his life. Finally getting the chance to be with the woman he wanted was something that he had been counting down the days for. Nothing could stop him from doing this. 

“Yes, please. I want you… I want you to take over.” She swallowed. It wasn’t always this way. Sometimes Y/N enjoyed the idea of being on top, enjoyed teasing, enjoyed the thought of being in charge for a little bit- but never in her life had she wanted a man to just do whatever the fuck he wanted. It was because she knew he would know how to please her. 

That assumption wasn’t wrong. 

Seeing the man get on his knees in front of the counter, ordering her to take the dress off and toss it to the side to expose her plain cotton bra and underwear, maybe she should feel a little apprehensive- but the only thing she felt was needy. Desperate. Wanted. The look in his eye told her that he wanted her and he wanted her more desperately than she even knew. His lips kissed over her knees and upper thighs, obviously pacing himself as his fingers tugged the waistband of her panties and slowly peeled them off her body. 

Harry wished he spent a bit more time admiring her. He wished he had the self control at this point to not just pull her to the edge of the counter and take a thick lick over her glistening cunt and nuzzle his face into it regardless of the fact he was getting wet- but he didn’t. He pulled her up and onto his tongue, getting the delicious little gasp he had been dying to hear. Manicured nails gripped the countertop behind her and buried in his hair, wet gasps leaving her mouth. Garbles of his name and calling to god, but he was busy. Getting her flavor on every inch of his taste buds and committing it to memory, dipping his tongue into her entrance and lapping up to her clit where he sucked lightly, he was self serving. This was for him and she was reaping the benefits. 

“Oh my f-fucking god.” Y/N said in disbelief, watching green meet her eyes as his nose nudged her clit. “Oh, you’re so fucking good, Harry. Holy fuck.” It was hard to comprehend that this man was on his knees for her when just a few nights ago he had been helping her set out snacks for their friend group as they had a hang out at the pool. Seeing him as the man he was, she couldn’t believe she’d never seen him in this light- not seriously. He had completely blown her expectations out of the water as his tongue flicked over her entrance, pressing against it and making her curse repeatedly. 

The sound of a belt clanking on the floor was mostly ignored- but his fingers inside of her weren’t. In fact, she teared up slightly at the feeling. “Yes, fucking… finger me, feel me.” She growled, her thighs pressing him closer. He had no problems, humming against her as he played with her clit and opened her up with his fingers- surely for her benefit considering he had felt quite impressive against her ass. “Shit, I can’t believe this.” The laugh was quickly melded into a moan as he pulled her clit back into his mouth and added a second finger. 

Harry shook his head into her cunt. He felt her clench around his fingers and the sounds of pleasure above him, and he didn't want to stop but if he didn’t, he was positive he was going to blow his load all over the kitchen floor. There was no bothering to wipe his chin as he stood back up, gripping her face for another deep kiss. “M’obsessed. Tastes even better than I expected… You’re never going to get me away from it.” He wasn’t even joking. He would gladly call off his shift from the bar tomorrow if it meant getting to spend that time tasting her. “But I need to get inside of you. I need to make you cum around my cock.” He went to get his wallet from his pocket but was surprised when she stopped him. 

“I’m clean. I’ve- I’ve been tested and I’m on birth control-” Harr interrupted her with a loud groan, fisting his cock in his hand as his pants fell to his ankles. 

“Thank fuck.” He laughed. “This may be over quickly, but this isn’t the last time I’m in you. I want to make you cum over and fucking over- but I don’t want to waste my load on the floor when it’s better suited inside of you.” He watched her to answer, but he was pushing in before she got a word in. 

“Oh- shit.” Y/N clutched him, looking at him with wide eyes as he sunk into her. Mouth hanging open, she adjusted to the stretch as his head dropped against hers and he kept her eye contact as he sunk in inch by inch. Their breathing mingling as the feeling encompassed both of them. “Oh my god- you’re so fucking big.” Her voice was unfamiliar to herself, sulky and whiny with the pleasure she felt from being stretched. 

“I know, baby.” He grinned, holding on to the nape of her neck. “You’ll get used to it.” Without another word, he pulled out to thrust back in. The process was repeated as her hot, slippery cunt clenched around his cock and tried desperately not to give it up each and every time. 

It was, again, better than he imagined. Nothing could have prepared him for how good it would be to sink into the perfect hole, how she would grip him and suck in deeper. How she’d soak him and how her fingers would dig into his arm, how all he’d be able to see and smell and taste was her. It completely engulfed him and he had no urge to do anything but stay right here. “Okay?” He checked on her as he ground himself into her, her clit brushing over the hair right above his cock and getting it wet. 

“I’m so good.” She slurred, lost in how good it felt to have him inside of her. “I’m so full.” It was insane to her, knowing how she had been treated last time. Even with his direct approach, she’d never felt more cared for, more appreciated. He was working with her, checking in, all while making the first moves that made her feel like he had been hand made for her. “Go harder. I can take it.” 

Y/N had never been fucked the way she wanted and that had been apparent to Harry. He just had a feeling and he knew that she was going to need him in ways she hadn’t experienced. Ways he was more than happy to deliver. “I’ll give you anything you want, Baby.” His nose brushed against hers. “Just make sure to scream my name nice n’loud when you cum for me.” 

It was unlike sex that she thought was real. Y/N held on to Harry as he plowed into her, his grip on her tight as his eyes looked down at where they were connected. It was wet, so fucking wet and creamy all over the base of his cock that she hadn’t known she could do. Her thighs were spread out and over his forearms as he fucked into her like it was his one and only job, whimpering out his name as he gave it to her the way she’d needed. “I knew you’d b-be able to give me what I wanted.” Her words were jostled as her body was, but he replied with another hot kiss. 

Messy, full of tongue and wet, she relished in his desperate need to taste her again. It didn’t matter that her chin was wet or she was getting bruised on her hips, she’d finally felt fulfilled in sex. “Yeah? Y’knew I’d be able to give it to you?” He crooned. “M’glad you knew, because I plan on being the only one doing it.” The words were completely serious and possessive and Y/N loved it. Feeling this level of desire was brand new to her and she didn’t want to give it up. 

“Uh-huh, I- I want you to be the one to give it to me.” As wrong as some people may see it, this was the epitome of a man. Even if he was younger- he had a plan, he had two jobs he’d held for years, a place of his own… He had more than some people her own age. Dedication and loyalty like his were irreplaceable. Maybe she was crazy in indulging in this, in allowing him to have her, but after wasting years with a man who didn’t want her- she wasn’t going to turn away someone who obviously desired her, wanted to worship her- and made her feel like she wanted to do the same back. 

“Good. I wasn’t planning on letting anyone else get a taste. You’re going to be my woman, this is going to be my pussy, M’gonna keep making you feel good. I don’t care who has shit to say about it.” He grunted, pressing theirs mouths together again as he felt her get close. The rippling around his cock and her soft whimpers against his mouth, her hand gripping him hard, he was close to finally fulfilling his fantasy. His dream girl letting go around him and making a mess. “I can feel it, y’know. Feel how you’re gonna cum for me.” He panted against her mouth. 

Y/N felt lightheaded in the best way, her body tingling and the pressure in her stomach building with each scrape of his tip against the spot no one else had reached- or even bothered to look for. Harry was perceptive and keen on her, about to make her orgasm from penetration for the very first time. In all her years she had thought something was wrong, but it turned out that she’d just been with shit people. Her ex husband, the attempts at hook ups, they had no idea how to work her body… But Harry? It seemed like he’d written the manual from the first time he touched her. The only thing she could think about was the pleasure and how good he looked giving it to her. 

Lips swollen and teeth grit, vein on his neck visible, his arms flexed as he railed her. It was like fucking her was his purpose, and fuck- he was fulfilling it. “I am.” She breathed, the tension getting tighter in her stomach. Again, those tears rose in her eyes as each thrust jolted the pleasure inside of her. “I am, I’m gonna cum for you Harry.” Remembering at the last minute that he wanted her to say his name, she sure as hell gave it to him.  “Please, Harry…. Just keep fucking me, give it to me, you’re right where I n-need.” It was right there, she could fucking taste it. “Harry, Harry-”

“Cum for me.” He coaxed. “C’mon, baby. First of many, show me how you cum on my cock. Get me nice and wet- fuck, you’re gorgeous.” The man was in awe of how beautiful she was, but even more about how good it felt as she began to finish on his prick. Her mouth dropping and her eyes watering as she let out a slew of cusses, the quivering of her cunt making it hard to hold on. “Fucking beautiful, that’s my girl. F-Fuck.” 

Y/N felt like she was floating. Pleasure hit every nerve, white hot and tingling. She had no idea what was coming out of her mouth but she felt the burn in her eyes as a tear fell down her cheek, clinging to him as each thrust got that sweet spot and made her tremble in his arms. He didn’t stop, the dark noises he made only spurring her on further. She was wet and she knew she must have completely soaked him. The wet sounds had gotten louder and the way he had groaned let her know she had to have gushed around his cock. “Harry, Harry- H, oh my god.” She bleated, nails digging into his arm. The constant stimulation was only making her more wet and he seemed to be loving it. 

Harry was drunk on the feeling, his own orgasm trailing right behind hers as he worked her through it. She’d made a mess, one he was happy to have all over his skin. The scent of her on him would be his reward, her marks even more so. “M’gonna cum.” He growled. “Where? Where do y’want my cum, baby? Tell me where you want it.” 

“Inside. Inside me, please, give it to me there.” Her legs wrapped around him tighter, making it nearly impossible for him to pull out- like he’d ever want to. His balls tightened at the words, eyes blazing as he looked down at her face. She seemed just as far gone as him, the suction of her soaked channel making him feel borderline insane.

“You- Fuck, Yeah? You want me to give you my load in that perfect cunt?” His grip on her tightened, sure to leave bruises but that was a problem for a later time. It had been a fantasy of his forever, his spunk dripping from her swollen pussy and now she wanted it- was begging for it. There was no mistaking her rapid nod, head tipped up at him as she whispered ‘please, please, please, give it to me’ and fuck, Harry was only so strong. 

He did exactly as asked, his sloppy thrusts hard as he grunted while coming to his end. It flashed over his vision as the loudest groan left his swollen lips, hips stuttering as he buried deep and let loose. Spurts of cum leaving his tip as he unloaded inside of her, the pulsing of his prick felt by both of them as he emptied his balls of every drop of cum. Claiming her, marking her in a symbolic way and the way he’d always been desperate to do. 

There was little hesitation as he took her mouth again, giving her a deep kiss. Tongue running over the roof of her mouth before sucking on her tongue, the most unhinged kiss he’d felt in his life as she clung to him and her cunt continued to milk him of every little bit. “Fuck.” He laughed in disbelief against her mouth. He was coated in a light sheen of sweat, Y/N’s hair was a mess and he was still snugly wrapped up in her as he gently moved her back so she was more comfortable on the counter. His hand came up to stroke her cheek, watching her hazy eyes look back into his own. This was his wet dream come true, but Y/N had no idea the man she had just unleashed. He was just… happy. Satisfied, motivated and fucking happy.  This wasn’t just a fuck for him. “Meant what I said.” His voice was hoarse as he fawned over her, adjusting her hair so it didn’t stick to her forehead. “M’gonna keep you. This isn’t a one and done and I plan on treating you the way you’ve always fuckin’ deserved.” His lips sampled hers again, feeling her arms come up over his shoulders as she reciprocated. “You’re my dream woman, Y/N. M’gonna make sure m’your dream man.”

#harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfic #jarofstyles #harry writing #harry styles imagine #harry styles smut #harry styles fanfiction #harry drabble #harry styles blurb #harry styles writing #harry styles age gap #harry styles au #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry fluff #harry angst #harry smut #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfics #harry one shot #older y/n

[industrations]

will you ever draw masc sirius? not to compare artists but recently i've just noticed masc sirius pics get more notes and ppl get more pissed off bc of fem sirius. it's ok if you draw fem wolfstar (fem sirius AND fem remus) but it's kinda weird you only draw remus masc. kinda heteronormative. when wolf is gay. plus canonically sirius was masc and remus was fem (sirius was the biker and remus was short.) it's ok you're more into fanon but canon is real so i'm just curious if you will ever draw masc sirius. if you will it'll be very cool and i'm sure you'll get more notes too.

This is the LAST time I'm going to be talking about this because I'm so TIRED of this debate.

Firstly, the "canon" you speak of is written by this person. So think before you start arguing anything about canon.

Then, since apparently some of you still cannot read. I DO NOT DRAW FOR YOU; I DRAW FOR ME. I could not care less about notes or likes or popularity. I'm just here to have fun and enjoy my time. That you are so concerned about notes is your own problem, not mine, but I suggest you change that because notes do not equal any sort of value, and this mindset is just going to be bad for anyone's mental health.

My favourite thing as a person whose gender is literally all over the place is getting to express that through the characters I draw. For ME, this mainly happens through Sirius because his "canon" is this very HETERONORMATIVE man. The freedom of him being able to step away from that and to be allowed to be whatever he wants to be on that day is just wonderful. Sirius, for me, is a reminder that no matter what you're born as or whatever people say you should be, it does not say anything about how you feel or express yourself.

Remus will forever keep evolving for me. He's also allowed to be whoever he wants to be. When I read fics he looks different in every single one. And if you actually paid attention to my art, you can see that he does not always look the same. For me, Remus is a comfort. He will always be a long, wet noodle with bad knees to me. He will always have his scars and his freckles, and those are what make him beautiful. I'm not sure why people immediately assume this is something that makes him "the man" or "the top". If that's what you're thinking when you see them, then there's something gone wrong on your side because you are deciding what a queer relationship is supposed to look like, when in fact you are the one being homophobic and heteronormative.

Also that my Sirius is shorter and more gender-y so to say, does not mean he can't kill a bitch on sight. He could break Remus in half in a second if he wanted to.

Anyway, I'm off to draw some dead gay wizards in whatever way I want to <3 love you guys. Truly the majority of you make me feel safe and seen, and I couldn't have wished for a more supportive community

#IF ANYONE ELSE SENDS ME AN ASK LIKE THIS YOU ARE GETTING BLOCKED ON SIGHT #okay #no more #you are being harmful to the queer community #just think before you speak and not everything is fucking black and white

[kookslastbutton]

Best Intentions ༓ myg (m)

✑ Summary: As vice president, you are obligated to attend your boss's wedding–you're also his friend. But while you should be focused on the newlyweds, you find yourself far too interested in the attractive best man and the woman who happens to be his plus one.

Pairing: best man!yoongi x vice president!reader

AU/genre: angst, smut, slight thriller, s2l, oneshot

Rating: M, 18+

Word Count: 3,753

Warnings: No infidelity, dark yoongi, sexual content, death (not major character)

sexual warnings: dom!yoongi, sub!reader, cussing, handj*b, unprotected s*x (don't follow their lead!), penetration, car sex, d*rty talk, they c*me together, yoongi has tattoos

Now Playing: Haegeum

A/N: Little nervous about this one butI haven't written fic inspired by Haegeum yet so here we go! Hope you enjoy 💞

You watch as he brushes a few pieces of his dark locks out of his face. Never have you seen such a handsome and alluring man. He takes a seat on the barstool, nodding at the bartender in greeting. “Whiskey, neat. And a sex on the beach for the lady.”

He turns his head over his right shoulder, sparing a glance at the gentle hand resting on him. The woman who it belongs to is nothing short of radiant and confident. Her body is athletically built, her skin soft but tough. Her name is Yeong-Ja and she happens to be his plus one.

“__.” She smiles at you with ruby-red lips. “Why don’t you join us?” Her tone is thick and laced with sensuality. You fight the temptation but you feel instantly small compared to her. It’s not that you find yourself unattractive or anything but Yeong-Ja has a certain aura that’s incredibly rare.

The man, Min Yoongi, sets his gaze on you with a similar intensity. You only met the both of them about half an hour ago and they were already perfectly successful at making your bones quake. You’ve heard the idea of power couples a million times and though Min Yoongi and Yeong-Ja weren't officially together, you'd be a fool to think I'd never happen. They came here together after all.

“Thank you for the invite,” you reply, keeping your eyes as firm as you can. “But I still need to pay my respects to President Kim and his lovely new wife.”

Yeong-Ja taps Yoongi twice, signaling him to stand up. “I need to do that too actually. Why don’t we go together?”

He stays seated despite her gesture. “The drinks haven’t come out yet. I’ll wait for them if you two wanna go.” He looks at you again with his piercing, cat-like eyes. “You sure you don’t want anything __?”

You smooth down the sides of your dress, a nervous response you picked up since a teenager. You wish he wouldn’t follow the movement but he does. “Sure, maybe a strawberry daiquiri.”

Yoongi gives a nod and asks the bartender to include it in the order. “Thank you,” you say.

“Shall we?” Yeong-Ja breaks from Yoongi to near your side. “President Kim’s about to have a ton of guests giving their congratulations. It’s best we do it before the newlyweds run out of steam.”

You nod and make your way to the wedding table.

"Congratulations President and Mrs. Kim." You bow in respect until you're pulled into a light hug.

"Thank you __," Mrs. Kim says. You'd be surprised by the hug if it weren't for the fact that the two of you have known each other since before she and your boss first started dating.

You were the one to set them up actually.

You never thought you'd have that much gull with your boss but you and Seokjin had been working together for a long time. You considered him a friend.

"I'm very happy for the both of you." You smile warmly and embrace Mrs. Kim a little tighter. "And you make such a beautiful bride."

Once broken apart, Yeong-Ja bows herself. "President Kim, Mrs. Kim." They bow in return. "I'm honored to be a guest at your wedding. I wish you both a strong, healthy marriage."

Mrs. Kim smiles wide and touches the woman on the wrist. "Thank you Yeong-Ja....I'm hoping to be a guest at your wedding as well. If you don't mind me asking, how long have you and Yoongi been seeing each other?"

Swallow it. That suddenly sick, queasy feeling in your stomach. If Yoongi was planning to get serious with Yeong-Ja, it's none of your business.

Yeong-Ja blushes and lets out a small chuckle. "Of course, I'll be sure to invite you to my wedding but I'm afraid that won't be anytime soon. Yoongi and I have only been seeing each other for a couple of weeks."

Weeks? With the chemistry they have you figured they were at least at months.

"I wouldn't be too set on it being far out into the future," Seokjin says. "One of my colleagues got married after only six months of dating his girlfriend."

"Who was that?" You mouth to which he replied with 'gguk'. Ah, makes sense now.

"Plus," Seokjin continues, "Yoongi's always talking about you and that's saying a lot considering he's pretty brief in general. Whatever you got, it's keeping his attention." He blinks up and cracks a smirk. "Speak of the devil."

Yoongi walks towards the group of you with a drink in each hand. You really need to not stare at his perfectly chiseled face, stoic eyes, and slicked-back hair. Especially after hearing that he's been practically gushing about Yeong-Ja. Still, a bitch doesn't listen.

"Strawberry daiquiri." He passes you your drink before handing Yeong-Ja hers. "And a sex on the beach." He keeps a straight face as he does this.

You notice he's taken his suit jacket off since your last interaction. His sleeves are rolled up too, veins softly protruding.

"Many thanks," you say, taking a sip. "Where's your whiskey?" You distinctively remember him asking the bartender for one but it's nowhere in sight.

Yoongi gives a quick shrug. "Already drank it."

Before another word is spoken the stereos in the reception are cranked up. Yeong-Ja takes a sip of her drink and then snakes her hand into Yoongi's arm. "Come on, we should dance. You too __."

You shake your head. Absolutely not. Dancing is fun when you're with friends but not so much with couples. You learned that the hard way many times when you'd be told that you'll all dance together.

Wrong for you to fall for that.

As soon as a slow, sensual song came on, you'd be hitting the bar or going back to your claimed table in the corner.

"No I'm good. I wanna sit and enjoy my drink for now." You lift your glass to make your point clearer.

Yeong-Ja smiles at you, then tightens her grip around Yoongi's arm and drags him to the dance floor.

You try not to watch them.

You even try sitting in the chair facing opposite of them.

But you look like a wallflower.

Several men come up to you to ask you if you want to dance, thinking you're only waiting for an invitation. Nice of them to offer but you take no interest.

The only man you remotely have your mind on is currently being swayed by another woman. And after about twenty minutes of watching, you find out that Yeong-Ja is not only a sharp thinker and sweet talker—she's also a stunning dancer.

You can tell at first Yoongi is half-assing it but once she starts getting into the beat, his efforts double.

When it comes to the slower songs, however, you can't help but notice a shift in his posture. Yeong-Ja links both arms around his neck in an effort to close the gap between her and Yoongi. It doesn't close, however, as he keeps a safe distance.

It's odd, to say the least but maybe he's just not used to that type of intimacy yet. You continue to study the two of them until you're caught red-handed. Yoongi's eyes shift over to peer into yours.

You have to snap yourself out of your daze a few times. He's definitely just staring off due to the somber music. He's not looking at you.

Oh, shit—he is.

Yoongi traces his eyes down the lines of your dress, all the way down your bare legs and back up to your eyes. His gaze is heavy and gives you goosebumps.

You grip your glass with one hand while the other clings to the edge of your dress, earning you a half-smirk from him.

Fuck.

He's a man of few words but his non-verbals speak volumes.

"She's not his girlfriend." Seokjin looks up at you from his seated position. Mrs. Kim was mingling with some of her close friends so you seized the chance to ask Seokjin about what had just happened. You needed a second opinion. "But they came here together so I assume they're going out. Are you sure he was giving you suggestive looks?"

"I mean, they weren't that suggestive but he definitely body-scanned me and smirked." You pause before continuing. "I'm trying not to think about it in case—uh I don't know. I'm sorry, it's your wedding day and I shouldn't be bothering you about this stuff."

"__, we've been working basically side by side for ten years. Yes I'm your boss still but right now I'd like to think we're friends. You're not bothering me, okay? And as far as Yoongi goes, just ignore it. He was likely smiling at you and it came off as a smirk. If it happens again maybe ask him about it because as far as I know, things are going good between him and Yeong-Ja." Obviously not that well if he's checking out someone else. You bite back the need to speak your mind.

"Okay," you agree. "You're right. It was likely just nothing."

"But you didn't finish your sentence." Seokjin pipes up before you return to your seat. "You're trying not to think about in case what?"

Let's see....how to reply while remaining subtle as possible. Seokjin and Yoongi are close friends so you need to choose your words very carefully.

Telling him you have interest in Yoongi when he's told you over and over again that he's seeing someone would not end well. A classic Kim Seokjin scold would be in dire order.

"....just in case I'm just being foolish or exaggerating what really happened." You say the words casually, no a trace of a fib. "But thanks Seokjin, for letting me talk to you about it."

"Hey." Yoongi catches you in the hallway. Apparently also needed to use the restroom. You do your best to shrug off what happened earlier.

"Hi, how was dancing?" You ask stupidly.

"It was alright. Not usually my thing but I guess I didn't mind. You sure you didn't wanna join us though? Saw a few guys come up to you."

"You saw that?" And here you were thinking you were delusional for thinking Yoongi was purposefully paying attention to you. It causes a twinge of adrenaline to zap through your body. "I didn't really feel like dancing today, that's all."

For a second you and Yoongi exchange silence. You're not sure if he's done talking or if you need to fill the space with more small talk.

"I'm glad it was better for you than usual. Yeong-Ja looks like she knows what she's doing." You fake a small laugh, hoping to break the tension but Yoongi's face remains straight. "Well I should get back in there." You end up slowly walking away but he stops you.

"We don't know each other super well but, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable earlier."

"What are you refering to?"

Yoongi gives you a 'really' look before flashing a gummy smile. It's the first time tonight you've seen him smile so fully. Your breath hitches as he continues. "I think we both know the answer to that. Don't you know how captivating you look in this dress?"

If your mouth wasn't gaping before it such as heck is now. But as giddy as the compliment makes you, you're in no way going to mess up a potentially blossoming relationship. You sure as hell hope that Yoongi isn't double-crossing Yeong-Ja, even if you do wish you'd be in her shoes a little.

"Um, not to be so forward but aren't you with Yeong-Ja? I appreciate the compliment though I'd—"

"We're not serious."

"Excuse me?" You as so utterly lost. Sure he and Yeong-Ja weren't together officially yet but they came here as each other's date. Seokjin and his wife were also making comments about their supposedly romantic relationship and she wasn't denying it so why is he coming onto you like this?

"That didn't come out right. I mean, we're not together romantically but we do work together. I asked her to come because I figured she'd be good company. Seokjin thinks we mold together well but I'm not really interested. To keep it short, I respect her as a coworker and consider her in the highest regard, professionally."

"You're not lying to me right? Because she seems really interested and I don't want to get in the way of anything. I'm not that type of woman alright?" You cross your arms reflexively.

Yoongi takes a step towards you, focused intent. "I have no reason to lie to you __. It's true Yeong-Ja may be interested but she's not the one I've spent half the night staring at."

The hairs on your neck stand straight. Blood rushes through your veins. "You should probably tell Yeong-Ja your feelings then."

"I did," Yoongi interuppts. "When we were back in there she came onto me. I thought all the slow, romantic music was getting to her but she kept trying to kiss me so I had to tell her I wasn't interested in anything beyond friendship."

"Oh, well, is she okay or—"

"She'll be fine. She's like me, not much fazes her. She's likely hitting on the next guy that takes her fancy now." Yoongi inches closer, and you take in the cologne he's wearing. It's subtle but enough to knock you out of your senses. "So you see, I'm not that kind of man either."

"Well good because I would have kicked you in the balls if you were double-crossing Yeong-Ja."

Yoongi snorts. "I'd expect nothing less. But thankfully, my balls are safe for now."

Great, now you're thinking about his balls. Yoongi's breath blows hot against your skin as the space between you seems to get narrower and narrower.

"Do you wanna get out of here for a bit?" He asks with a hoarse voice. "I was thinking about going out for a quick smoke."

"I don't smo—" Yoongi quirks a provocative brow. "Oh, " you finish, knowing full well he isn't proposing to have just a smoke.

You shudder as he towers above you in the backseat of his Bentley. Evidently, Yoongi did well for himself. "We shouldn't be doing this here." When Yoongi proposed you to go out, you didn't expect him to be this quick to get down and dirty.

Fooling around is one thing, but fucking in the backseat of his car in the middle of a wedding is a whole new animal for you.

"No one's gonna see if that's what you're worried about. Everyone's too busy wishing the newlyweds well..." His car is short on space but Yoongi manages to remove his silk vest. The skin of his smooth chest peeks out near the collar of his dress shirt. "But if you wanna stop here then, I won't force you any further."

God this is so indecent but you want him so, so bad. His body on yours, in yours—fuck him for being this hard to resist. You grip the fabric of his shirt and tug him back down.

Yoongi takes the opportunity to sink his head near your ear. "I was hoping this would be your answer." Your eyes roll up when he places a hot, open-mouth kiss on your neck. It's not sloppy but rather controlled as if hinting that this isn't his first go around.

"Take it out for me sweetheart." He coos after a few more nips at your jaw. The look of bewilderment on your face brings out a cocky smirk. "Please?"

His eyes turn playful as he watches you fumble with his belt. "Sorry," he says. "I usually prefer doing this myself but given the position we're in, it's better you do it." You nod. "I'd also take my time with you if it weren't for the fact that we're in my car right now." Who's fault is that? You bite down your bitterness.

"I understand." You pull at his belt buckle, releasing the leather from its hold. He groans when the tips of your fingers graze his bulge. Once you unzip the front of his pants you reach forward to free his cock.

"Fuck," Yoongi breathes, his hard length pulsating in your hand. You whimper and reflexively squeeze him harder. "Shit, don't."

You feel hot all over, drunk on the pleasure he's getting from this. "But you like this," you say, moving your hand up and down his shaft. Arousal pools in your panties as you watch him struggle to gain his composure. You wouldn't be disappointed if he came in your hand from this, but Yoongi puts a stake in those plans like a tidal wave.

He reaches between his legs, suddenly yanking your hand off of him to place it above your head. "You know what I really like __?" He grabs your other hand to join it with the other. "When people listen to what their told the first time."

He pushes up the skirt of your dress, tugs your panties to the side, and thrusts himself into you in one full motion. The immediate stretch has you gasping for air. "Fuck Yoongi–" Yes, you're wet but you still need time to adjust! "Yoongi please, I need a second."

He doesn't respond with any more than husky groans as he steadies himself above you, hands clamping down on your waist. Yoongi stills himself in you, waiting for your signal to move and when you give it to him he wastes no time setting a vigorous pace.

Every push and pull sets your body on fire as his length beats inside you. You move to claw at his back, desperately needing something to grip, but your hands are thrown back down. "Leave them," he growls.

You end up clutching your wrists as your body bounces up and down the seat of the car. The friction is a little rough due to the leather material but you don't have time to think much about it as long as Yoongi keeps fucking you this good.

"Feels-ah-amazing Yoongi, fuck. How'd you get so good at this?"

"How do you think sweetheart?" He wraps one of your legs around his waist, the new angle allows him to sink deeper into your gut. Your hips arch and a few more buttons on Yoongi's dress shirt pop open.

"You have a–chest-chest tattoo?" It's only a blur and you barely get a glimpse when he leans his body forward. But over his heart is black ink in the form of what you can only guess as some kind of wild cat.

"Mhm," he grunts. "Got it when I was 19. One of those impulsive things. Fuck–" he curses feeling you clench around him. "Is this a turn-on for you? You're squeezing me so fucking hard right now."

"Yes. My attraction for you went up about 100%, I can't explain it."

He's amused, shit-eating grin on his far too handsome face. "Well lucky for you, you don't have to explain anything. Open my shirt."

You do as he says and swallow hard seeing the tattoo of a bobcat over his left pec. He can tell you want to ask about it but being that his cock is deep in your heat, he's a little preoccupied. "I'll tell you about it later when we're not you know–fucking like rabbits in the back seat of my Bentley."

You let out a small giggle. It's a wonder no one's caught you yet. Yoongi picks up the pace again, with rough thrusts and beads of sweat around his forehead. "Fuck this pussy is making me so hard. Never been in something so wet and tight in my life." You moan as his cock drags in and out of you, stimulating your g-spot only too perfectly.

"Oh god 'm gonna come Yoongi!" You can't hold back your screams anymore. He's hitting inside you so well, cock throbbing, hair sweaty, muscles tensing, and that sinful chest tattoo teasing in front of your eyes.

"Damn right you are, make this cock yours sweetheart."

Your pussy starts spasming around him. You throw your head back, feeling your tightened core close to unwinding. Yoongi's cock twitches inside you in the seconds following before you both have your release.

Yoongi takes himself out of you, cock dripping with your cum. Your breaths are heavy as you blink up at him from your reclined position. "First time fucking in a car?" he asks, monotone.

"Mhm."

"Did you like it?"

"Mhm."

"Good, I'll give you a few minutes to gather yourself."

Once you both manage to make yourself presentable again, you head back to the reception.

"Where the fuck have you been?!" Yeong-Ja hollers at Yoongi, rushing to him through the parking lot. You're startled at her sharp tone but the closer she gets the more your stomach feels unsettled.

She doesn't give you a glance at all, her attention fully on Yoongi. "Min," she starts. Odd of her to be calling him by his last name all the sudden. "We need to leave now."

You dart your eyes at the two of them. "What-what's going on? It hasn't been that long, did something happen?" Yeong-Ja hesitates to answer so you turn to the man next to you. "Yoongi–Oh my god!" You screech when you see a glowing, red dot hovering over his heart.

Yoongi follows your line of sight. "Shit–" He curses under his breath. "Of all fucking times."

Okay, what the fuck is going on?

Yeong-Ja swiftly pulls out a gun from what appears to be a thigh holster. When she does, you spot the same bobcat tattoo on her upper thigh.

Yeong-Ja cocks the gun before aiming it to the far left. She takes the shot, the red dot instantly disappearing from Yoongi's chest.

"You don't know Yoongi very well __." Yeong-Ja lowers her gun ever so slightly. "To the outside, he's Min Yoongi, a reserved and calculative data analyst, best man to your boss Kim Seokjin. But to the inside world, he's Agust D, leader of the most feared mafia gang, Bangtan."

"I'm sorry sweetheart," Yoongi says. "I wanted to spare you from this. But now that you know our dirty little secret we can't possibly let you go."

So she's his right-hand man.

When Yoongi said they were coworkers, this was not what you were expecting.

How the fuck do you get out of this?

Masterlist

A/N: Me through this whole thing...how do I write warnings without giving away the ending? Anyway, tysm for reading and LMK what you think 💞

Note: Pls help me decide if i should turn this into a series of keep it a one shot ➡ vote here ☺

no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton

#yoongi smut #yoongi angst #yoongi x reader #bts smut #bts fanfic #bts imagines #bts x reader #bts angst #bts scenarios #fic:bestintentions #kookslastbutton

[deepdarkdelights]

Instinct | Taehyung x Reader

Pairing: Hybrid Taehyung x Reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: 18+, Yandere, Obsession, Stalking (in the animal sense lol) Fear, Blood, Murder, Kind of Cannibalism? Hunting Animals and Humans, Depictions of Dead Bodies, Non-consensual touching, Human Experimentation, Depictions of Gore, Break In, Attempted Murder, Light Spice at End, Insinuated Dub-Con, Taehyung is kind of a switch tbh

Preview: He was huddled in the middle of the road, his arms wrapped around himself as he remained crouched on the wet pavement. But you knew he was looking at you. His golden eyes were glowing back at you, like a predator glaring at you from the depths of the jungle. There was something inside you that knew that he was dangerous, an echo of intuition from thousands of years before you. But you were a modern human, you were good at ignoring your instincts. 

A/N: I wrote this in two days due to your guys' interest in the prompt. I chose Tae instead of Jimin, he only has two fics on my blog! Anyways it’s two in the morning and I’m really tired, this is really short compared to the majority of my works but I hope you still enjoy it. ILY and I can’t wait to see you in my inbox and the comments ~ good night my loves 💜

“I’m sorry,” He whispers, the words cracked and broken. 

“No, you’re not.” You sighed.  

He always did this. He always turned on the tears every time you called him out on his bullshit and you had a terrible habit of falling for it every time. He cried, he apologized, but in a few days he was back on his usual shit. 

“But I am, I really am!” He insisted, tears pooling in pretty brown eyes. 

“Really? I don’t think he sees it that way,” You said with a jerk of your head in the direction of the limp body splayed on the ground. “In fact, I really doubt he sees much anymore.”

“But he-“

“No!” You yelled, spurring a flinch from him, “You always have some excuse but not this time! I am tired of spending my evenings scrubbing blood out of the grout!” 

He could only pout in response because there was no way of getting around it, you were right. It was unfair that you always had to be the one to clean up his messes. But he just couldn’t help himself, he was a killer by design. Not nature, design. 

You let out another laborious, tired sigh. It seemed that was all you did these days, ever since you had found Taehyung. 

You had almost hit him with your car. It was late at night, a new moon to be exact, the darkness thick and just barely penetrable by your headlights. He had come out of nowhere, his lithe body trapped between two beams of light before you swerved out of the way just missing him by mere inches. 

You could remember the feeling of your tight grasp on the leather of the steering wheel, the way your throat constricted and how your chest rapidly rose and fell, and the sound of catchy pop music that was so ill fitting and off putting for such a dramatic turn of events. It was ingrained in your memory, a turning point in your life that you would never forget. 

He was huddled in the middle of the road, his arms wrapped around himself as he remained crouched on the wet pavement. But you knew he was looking at you. His golden eyes were glowing back at you, like a predator glaring at you from the depths of the jungle. There was something inside you that knew that he was dangerous, an echo of intuition from thousands of years before you. But you were a modern human, you were good at ignoring your instincts. 

As you approached him you noticed several things about him. The dirt and blood that stained his honey skin, his taunt, tense, strong muscles, and of course the ears protruding from his thick, dark curls, and the tail that swung in agitation from his tailbone. 

Taehyung was, quite literally, one of a kind. 

An embryo spliced with the DNA of an apex predator, something that had never existed before him, a hybrid. 

He had hissed at you, stopping you four feet away from his crumpled form. His teeth glinted in the light, a set of fangs protruding from the top row of his teeth with a smaller matching set on the bottom. That noise had every nerve in your body tingling in fright, yet still you persisted. 

You made yourself smaller, lowering yourself to the ground so that you were lower than he was with your arms at your sides, every vulnerable point of your body open and exposed to him. 

You remembered the feeling of his nose nudging at your pulse point, the warmth of his breath ghosting over your neck, the rumble of a growl deep in his chest before it faded to a gentle chuff as he nuzzled his face against the column of your throat.  There were serrated teeth hidden behind beautiful full lips, one little bite would sever a major artery and blood would arch through the dark sky. 

Taehyung was a dangerous brand of beautiful. 

You often liked to joke to yourself that you were a lonely woman who took in a stray cat. It was easier to use humor to veil the harsh reality of what you had actually brought into your home. 

Taehyung quickly became attached to you, it was almost like he had imprinted on you. It was the only way that you could explain his sudden and intense adoration towards you especially when you remembered the way he looked at you when he first saw you. It was like he was hungry. 

That hunger was ever present in his eyes, buried beneath the loving gaze it's embers still burned. The fiery gold cooled to a deep brown, his eyes wide in wonderment as he watched you. 

You hissed in pain when he dug his fingers into your arms as you tried to help lower him into the tub. A hiss died in his throat as he slowly sunk into the warm water, a gentle purr took its place. 

“There you go,” You hummed as you helped him wash, the tub water steadily growing murky as you scrubbed the grime and blood from his skin. 

The noise he made as you washed his hair, massaging his scalp and the base of his ears, was heavenly. A beautiful baritone groan that melted into a purr. After all, panthers were still cats. 

When you pulled the drain plug and went to grab a towel, he spoke to you for the first time. 

His hold on your arm tightened, his soft eyes turned primal once more. “Don’t leave.” 

His voice was deep and raspy. It sounded like he hadn’t spoken in a long time, it sounded animalistic. It suited him well. 

Over time you learned Taehyung never wanted to be alone. He clung to you at all times no matter what you were doing and despite your protests he followed you to bed every night. He would wrap you up tightly in his embrace sealing you into his prison-like grasp with a leg draped over your hip. His adoration was constricting. 

“It was cold,” He finally explained to you, “They kept me in a room all by myself. It was all metal and concrete, they fed me with long silver tongs. I was always alone, the only touch I knew, hurt.” 

You held him tighter that night, your heart ached for your panther. All he wanted was for someone to love him, he was just as human as anyone else. 

“Please don’t hurt me.” He whispered, nudging the back of your head with his nose and breathing in your scent as his pretty fingers smoothed over your ribs in a slow, circular pattern. 

In reality, it wasn’t you that would end up hurting anyone. 

You had noticed something was wrong when he lost his appetite. He would stare down at his plate with a bored and confused look in his eyes, poking at whatever he was supposed to be eating with a lack of interest. 

“Please, Tae,” You would beg, using the soft and soothing voice you knew he responded well to, “Just a few bites for me? You don’t want to hurt my feelings, do you?” 

He would acquise with those big adoring eyes before taking small and faux enthusiastic bites. But it was clear he wasn’t enjoying it and you had an idea as to why that was. But it was easier for your own sanity if you ignored the glaring problem. 

It became unignorable the night a man broke into your house. 

Taehyung had heard it first, the shattering of glass and the metal squeak of door hinges. He had crept out of bed and stalked into the hallway, clinging to the shadows as he watched the man attempt to sneak further into your home. He was trespassing into his territory and that was a dire mistake. 

You were awoken by the screaming. You jolted upright and were greeted by your pitch black bedroom. The screams persisted, deep, panicked, blood curdling screams followed by a wet gurgle and then an ever scarier silence. 

That feeling was there again, that intuition that was buried inside of you that was begging you to lock and barricade the door and not go investigating the source of those screams. But Taehyung was missing and you were scared without him. 

The hallway was dark, but a single beam of moonlight shone through the broken window of the front door and illuminated the carnage in front of you. 

Taehyung was bent over the body of a man. His tail was slowly skirting over the floor in delight as he ripped a chunk of flesh from the man’s shoulder and tilted his head back. His throat bobbed as he swallowed, the blood on his face gleaming in the moonlight. 

You could see the man on the floor now, his throat had been ripped open and blood was steadily pooling around him. His eyes were vacant, his jaw was slack. He was dead. Taehyung had killed him. 

Taehyung was eating him. 

There had always been a part of you that had considered this to be a possibility. It explained why Taehyung was in the state he was in the night that you had found him. It explained how he had escaped that facility and why he wasn’t hungry for days after. He had killed and consumed his handlers. 

Despite the panther ears and tail, you often forgot that Taehyung wasn’t entirely human. He was so sweet with you, so clingy and adorable. But he was still an apex predator. He didn’t want to be fed with tongs or served cooked meals. He needed to hunt, it was ingrained in his DNA. 

You watched in fascinated horror as his teeth and textured tongue expertly removed flesh from bone. He was finally eating. 

You took a step back only to trip over a bag that had belonged to the intruder. Out of it spilled horrifyingly familiar items. Duct tape, zip ties, knives. It was a kill kit. Your breathing stuttered and your heart dropped. There was not a doubt in your mind as to what that man had planned to do, and Taehyung had stopped him. He protected you. 

His golden eyes were looking at you now, their narrowed predatory gaze relaxing, and his soft round eyes returned. He rose up from his animalistic crouch with a fluidity no normal man could possess and slowly approached you. 

You closed your eyes as he neared you, your body on fire from genuine fear. It was a toxic blend, the love and the fear that you felt for him. You flinched when his large hand cupped your face and held your breath when you felt his lips softly drag over your cheek leaving a streak of warm blood in their wake. 

“I’m sorry,” He mumbled, a stray tear escaping his eye and rolling down your cheek, “I’m so hungry.” 

When you opened your eyes you were met with quite a sight. Taehyung had always been beautiful, the most beautiful man that you had ever seen. But the way he looked now made you realize how sick you were. How could you think he looked beautiful with those full lips stained red and the glaze of a shed tear streaked down the curve of his face. 

Taehyung never asked to be made, and now he had to suffer the consequences of his creation. 

“It’s okay baby,” You cooed, your thumb brushing a bead of blood from his lower lip that he chased with his tongue, swiping it off of the tip of your finger. “Finish your meal.” 

~~~~~~~

There was a shift that night. 

The relationship between the two of you was changing. You could see it in the way he watched you. It was a different kind of hunger, one for a companionship he had never been able to have. 

And his regular appetite was changing too. 

You tried taking him to the forest, letting him hunt small and big game. And it worked, but the human side of him would often combat the animal side. He craved the complexity of hunting humans. He craved satiating his wrath against humans, the very beings that had created him.

Animals worked in the short term, but it was never long before another man ended up dead in your yard or in this case, on the kitchen floor. 

“You said it was okay if it was bad people!” Taehyung tried, his ears pressing down flat against his skull as his tail twitched behind him.

“Yes, bad people Tae! Intruders, rapists, murderers, not delivery guys!” 

“He entered my territory-“

“This is my house, Tae! My house! Don’t start with the territory shit again.”

“I can’t help it, you know that! You don’t feel what I feel, it’s instinctual, I need to do this!”

You gripped your hair tightly in distress before leaning against the counter and dropping your head into your hands. 

“People are going to start noticing, Tae. You can’t keep doing this. If it’s not the police then it’s going to be the people that made you and they’ll take you away from me, is that what you want?”

“No!” He yelled, grabbing you by your shoulders and spinning you around to face him. “I want to stay with you, please don’t let them take me away!” 

You softened as he began to cry again, his tears wearing away at you like they always did even though you were very aware of the fact that you couldn’t keep letting him do this. You cupped his cheek and lightly wiped his tears away as he bumped the side of his face against your hand before laying a bloody kiss to your palm. 

You couldn’t think rationally when he treated you like this. Your head was also hazy with desire when he did this. It was completely and utterly unfair. 

“Come on, I’ll put you to bed.” You hummed before taking his hand and guiding him to your shared room. 

It was even harder to think clearly when he looked so adorable, wide eyed and curled up beneath your blankets. That was why you needed the distance. You needed to think about what more you could do, you couldn’t keep letting him kill innocent guys whose worst crime was getting a little handsy, like the delivery guy. You knew what it was, you knew what desire looked like in someone’s eyes. Taehyung was wiping out any man he saw as competition. He had said it himself, it was instinctual.  

Your heart ached when his eyes filled with confusion and it tore in half when despair overtook him as you shut and locked the door, trapping him on the other side. You could hear him scramble across the floor and you watched as the door knob jiggled. 

“Please open the door!” He called through the wood, “Why are you doing this, please let me out!”

“Just calm down Taehyung, go to sleep, I'll be right back.”

“I didn’t mean to scare you, please open the door, I’ll be good I promise! I won’t hurt you!” 

“I just need some space, just lay down, I’ll be back.” You said firmly despite how horrible you felt for confining him to your room. 

“No, no, no, no! Don’t leave me, please! I’ll be good!” He continued to yell and continued to break your heart. 

You couldn’t bear to listen to his anguished, panicked cries especially with the knowledge that you were the cause of them. 

You could still hear his yelling and banging on the door as you dragged the body out of the kitchen, a long and laborious effort that left a large streak of blood behind you. This wasn’t the first time that you had to do this but usually you had Taehyung to take care of all the heavy lifting while you took care of the cleanup. It was a morbid, macabre chore, but one you had come accustomed to frighteningly quick.

In your backyard, there were several piles of dirt. Some had been freshly turned over while others had sat undisturbed for some time. Above each pile sat a freshly planted rose bush. There had been a time where your backyard was barren and neglected. Ever since Taehyung had entered your life, you had done quite a bit of gardening…against your will. 

You huffed in exhaustion as you patted the soil smooth with your shovel. You would need to pick up another rose bush tomorrow. 

You had figured this would be the best way to deal with the problem, and it helped Taehyung in some odd, primal way. Sometimes he would sit outside with a satisfied look on his face like he was proud of what he had done. You knew it was because it felt that he had eliminated another threat or competitor. It meant that he had you all to himself again. 

Fear and love are a volatile blend. Could you look past your fear because you loved him? Or did you love him because you were afraid? Afraid of what would happen if you didn’t shower him with affection and attention. Would he turn on you too?

The sound of a loud crack frightened you causing you to drop the shovel. It clattered to the ground and rolled over in the grass, suddenly becoming far more interesting than it had been moments ago. 

You glanced back up at the house and watched, frozen in shock, as the door was thrown open and slammed up against the siding of the house. Taehyung stood on the back steps, his hands bloody from clawing at and breaking through your bedroom door. His chest was heaving from exertion and anxiety and for the first time in a long while, he scared you. His gaze narrowed in on you, those panther eyes glowing with hunger and desire once they found you. 

With blood and dirt caked beneath your nails you were reminded of the kill he made not all that long ago. The fear you felt was all too real. And, on instinct, you turned and you ran. 

You really should have known better. He was an apex predator, he was built for the chase and for the hunt. You had watched the way he enjoyed tracking and stalking his prey before going in for the kill. But in reality, everything you had done up until this point had not made sense. You should have kept driving that night, you shouldn’t have brought him home, you certainly shouldn’t have let him sleep in your bed, and you definitely should have ran the first time he had killed and consumed another human being. 

Running was instinct, it was the only thing that you did that made sense. 

But you couldn’t make it far. You were exhausted from dragging and burying that body, you were running on empty with a dash of adrenaline. And Taehyung, he was stronger than you, faster than you, and could even see in the dark. It was embarrassing that you had even attempted to escape him. 

His strides were completely silent, you had realized he was closing in on you too late and within seconds his arms were wrapped around your chest and dragging you down into the grass. 

It had happened so quickly that you didn’t register it, you laid on your back, frozen in the grass as you processed what happened. And once you looked up and caught sight of his canines you began to writhe beneath him, managing to turn over and scramble a foot away before he grabbed you by your hips and dragged you back beneath him. He caged you in between his arms and pressed his body weight against you until you collapsed chest first into the ground. 

“Taehyung, wait!” You cried as you felt him shove his face in the juncture between your neck and shoulder. 

You closed your eyes then, waiting for him to make the fatal bite that you had seen him deliver time and time again. But there was nothing. You jerked with a surprised cry as you felt his tongue glide over your pulse point in slow languid laps. 

“Tae, what are you-“ He cut you off with a menacing growl, one that told you you were not going to dissuade him from doing what he felt needed to be done. 

An involuntary gasp parted your lips as you felt his hips grind down against you, his hands sliding up towards your wrists and holding them in an iron grip as his slow licks transitioned into hot, wet, open mouthed kisses along the side of your neck. He was making sure he marked up every inch of skin that was exposed to him. 

“I can’t help it,” He whined, his voice breathy and deep as he ground himself against you even harder than before, spurring a soft cry from you. “I need you.” 

You supposed this was the better alternative to him killing you. But still, it didn’t feel quite right.

“I can’t.” You groaned. 

A menacing snarl echoed beside your ear and in one quick movement he flipped you over onto your back and pulled your legs tightly over his hips. His hold was so strong he wasn’t giving you an inch to move unless it was against him and in the way that he desired. 

And in a moment of pure need he firmly gripped your jaw and pressed his lips against yours in a searing kiss. Everything about him was primal, even the way that he kissed. It wasn’t particularly skilled, it was definitely his first, but it didn’t lack passion or desire. He wouldn’t even let you breathe, your lungs burning and singing in desperation for air as he moaned into your mouth while desperately rutting against you. 

“Don’t leave me,” He moaned in between desperate, relentless kisses. 

‘Tae-,” You tried again only for your words to be smothered once more. 

“No, I won’t let you leave me.” 

#bts x reader #kim taehyung x reader #yandere #yandere bts #yandere taehyung #bts fanfic #yandere taehyung x reader #yandere kpop #yandere bts x reader #hybrid taehyung #hybrid taehyung x reader #yandere hybrid taehyung x reader #taehyung x reader #yandere hybrid #hybrid bts #hybrid bts x reader

[littlerosette]

everlark/thg fic recs!

i just wanted to share some love with the fics that i find myself continuously going back to and enjoying <3

on the threshold by ghtlovesthg: by far my one of favorite “i know this would have happened anyway” fics. katniss and peeta’s relationship is adorable, and i really enjoy this author’s portrayal of smitten!katniss. it’s exactly how i imagine her and it’s adorable. they just like each other so much.

the heartrender by juniebugg: helnik!everlark au. i have a weakness for enemies to lovers and this more than hits the spot. the ending is gorgeous. stunning piece of writing.

the unrecorded hours by hollycomb: this fic has been praised to death but i am deeply obsessed with it. katniss and peeta felt very appropriately prickly and messy with each other, which i think fit considering where they’re at mentally post-mj. the ending was also so quintessentially Them.

which of your lives is this? by writingforhugs: this fic has way too few kudos for what a masterpiece it is. it’s katniss traveling through italy with peeta, and it’s pure, unadulterated escapism. the detail is so rich that it actually feels like you’re on the journey with them, and the chemistry is impeccable and so sexy. i adore this story.

hero of the story by atetheresmind: first of all, i love everything from this author. second of all, this story is amazing. “no games” fics are probably my favorite everlark fic subgenre and this one is written to perfection. katniss and peeta have an affair on their spouses and have to deal with the consequences when their relationship is discovered. the characterization is amazing and i love how the author handled the fallout. gorgeous story.

blowout by annieoakley1: age gap everlark fic and probably my favorite one. this story is so sexy and i love love love peeta and katniss’s relationship in it. katniss is so predictably Herself that it’s fun to watch her navigate a relationship she knows she’s gonna get shit for being in.

our little fires by brimay: a new fic and stunningly gorgeous. katniss and peeta fall in love before the reaping and their entire experience in the games is changed because of this. i adored the recurring theme where their love was the real rebellious act, their “little fire,” which i think struck so true to the heart of the actual trilogy. this story is amazing.

the project by ronja: unfinished but stellar. katniss and peeta’s bond is so sweet and their chemistry is amazing. it also helps that katniss is in a relationship with gale for a majority of the story, which lets you see how much she truly likes peeta compared to him. it was adorable to see them in a fake marriage scenario and they both relish in every bit of it. this story is “ivy” by taylor swift personified.

the hanging tree series by sparebitofparchment: this a peeta’s pov retelling. right now it’s on catching fire, but the writing is so so stellar. it’s perfectly angsty and beautiful, and flowery enough compared to katniss’s pov that it feels like you’re seeing everything through peeta’s eyes. gorgeous series.

and many graces by encroix: this is kind of exactly what i’m talking about when i say messy!everlark post mj. peeta and katniss are so desperate for each other but also so flawed and uncommunicative in their expectations that they end up hurting each other repeatedly. it’s beautiful and i love it. i cried multiple times reading it.

my heart is yours, and yours is mine by songbirdheart: the most enchanting, folksy, almost fairytale adjacent series ever. it truly is written with so much magic that it feels like a collection of short stories that you’d find in an old folktale book. every story is wonderful but i also have a particular fondness for the gadge one shot. it’s adorable and i love the way all the characters are written.

thg fic/non-everlark

where soul meets body by ellizablue: annie x finnick love story from her games to the aftermath of his death. wretchedly beautiful story. the writing is amazing and i cried several times reading this. it’s one of my absolute favorite fan fictions of all time and i reread it very frequently.

i’m yours to keep and i’m yours to lose by fkevin073: a modern snowbaird au where lucy gray and coryo are toxic exes who can’t leave each other the fuck alone. their mutual obsession and dysfunction was so fun to read and the pure, twisted soulmatery between them honestly was like a drug to me. i Love unhinged romantic leads.

the end of the world by fernwithy: this whole series is amazing but i was especially in love with this first installment. it’s a retelling of haymitch’s games and it’s amazingly done. haymitch feels appropriately brilliant, and watching him navigate the arena was gripping. i was unexpectedly touched by the relationship he develops with maysilee during this story. beautiful, gut-wrenching story.

#the hunger games #fic rec #everlark #odesta #gadge #snowbaird #among others

[mermaidfanficlibrary]

Hey! Can I request the Twisted Wonderland first years with a male s/o that is Malleus Draconia’s little brother? Similarly to Malleus, he's just a goofy little guy who’s unused to affection because everyone is constantly too afraid of him even to look the poor guy in the eyes. Sorry if this is odd lmao. I think that it would be adorable, especially with Sebek.

Dating Malleus' Brother Headcannons | Twst First Years x Male Reader

Characters: Ace Trappola, Deuce Spade, Jack Howl, Epel Felmeir, Sebek Zigvolt

Summary: Being adopted into the Draconia family gave you an odd reputation amongst NRC. Reader is male. House isn't specified either!

Warnings: Just pure fluff

A/n: Sorry this is so late! I have been so busy with school and my twst fic! Also sorry if it feels repetitive. I just feel like they would all sort of React the same way? If that makes sense

ACE TRAPPOLA

: ̗̀➛ When you first met Ace, he was so oblivious of the fact that you were Mallues' younger brother

: ̗̀➛ It took him a while to figure out on his own and even then it was still hard to believe

: ̗̀➛ Once he invited you to Heartslabyul and Riddle was the one to point it out

He thought Riddle was joking, but when you confirmed this he felt so embarrassed

When he found out, it barely fazed him, but boy was he scared of your older brother

That fear was short though, and he went about his day with you doing whatever you both planned on doing

It made you feel accepted for once since everyone seemed to be walking on eggshells around you

: ̗̀➛ Ace treats you like a normal person and is stuck to your side no matter what

: ̗̀➛ Will show others that you're not scary despite your family roots

: ̗̀➛ Does get a bit cocky around other first years though when he mentions your name

: ̗̀➛ Will fight for your honor. No seriously, if someone starts disrespecting you or anything he starts passive aggressively commenting on how The Malleus Draconia would respond

: ̗̀➛ If that doesn't work, then Ace resorts to fits

: ̗̀➛ But it's rare this happens because no one would have the gall to give you any disrespect

: ̗̀➛ Being with Ace means being around Deuce a lot of the time

: ̗̀➛ Riddle does remind Ace that he still needs to respect you, and he does, he just pushes boundaries a little

: ̗̀➛ Nothing major, but he does joke with you and harmless quips

: ̗̀➛ You both just joke with each other a lot of the time and playfully insult each other

: ̗̀➛ Ace also cherishes you, and it's nice because you seem to be overlooked by everyone because of your brother

: ̗̀➛ Sure, people fear you because you're Malleus' brother, but it also brings a lot of responsibility or being compared to him

: ̗̀➛ Ace never does that, though, he just sees you for you and no one else

: ̗̀➛ All in all, Ace just treats you like a normal person and as a normal boyfriend!

DEUCE SPADE

: ̗̀➛ Deuce is another obvious idiot when it comes to who you are and who your family is

: ̗̀➛ Does pick up on it a lot quicker than Ace however because he noticed how students seemed to treat you

: ̗̀➛ Deuce found out you were Malleus' little brother when you two were hanging out and the surrounding students were whispering about you

: ̗̀➛ Deuce felt like an idiot for not realizing and apologized so many times, going as far as to pay you back somehow, though he didn't need too

: ̗̀➛ Deuce treats you with so much respect! But not because of your roots, that's only a minor reason, but because you're his boyfriend

: ̗̀➛ He promised himself whenever he had a significant other, he would love them and keep them safe

: ̗̀➛ Would get in a fight for you, but that's the last resort if words don't work first. He would be very diplomatic about it.

: ̗̀➛ He is so shy when it comes to seeing how others react when you two are together, it takes a while for him to have confidence in being your boyfriend

: ̗̀➛ When Deuce does bring you to his dorm to hang out or study, his dorm mates seemed so shocked.

: ̗̀➛ Deuce does warn Ace that if he does push your boundaries then Deuce would punch him or something like that

: ̗̀➛ He is very big on respecting you and making sure you're okay with things such as simple romantic affection, he just doesn't want to overwhelm you

: ̗̀➛ Does get a bit anxious when he thinks deeply about you being Malleus' brother, but when he notices those thoughts, he just talks to you about them

: ̗̀➛ This man just wants to cherish you like any boyfriend would

: ̗̀➛ Rants about you to his mom and Ace, sometimes to Trey or Cater, but usually the first two

: ̗̀➛ Doesn't brag about you to others, he doesn't see the need to, in all honesty. He's just content knowing he owns your heart and you own his

: ̗̀➛ Is very new to relationships, so takes things slow, and you don't mind! You sort of guide him on some things if you've had previous relationships before

: ̗̀➛ Does comfort you when you feel left out or looked over, and will give you all sorts of attention

: ̗̀➛ He sort of understands the expectations that are put on you and thinks that some are kind of ridiculous

: ̗̀➛ You both are very playful with each other, and there are so many inside jokes

: ̗̀➛ Will tease you sometimes but won't take it too far, also acknowledges when you tell him to stop

: ̗̀➛ Deuce is your knight and will love you unconditionally and forever because he loves you that much!

JACK HOWL

: ̗̀➛ Jack figured out that you were Malleus' brother pretty quickly, compared to Ace and Deuce

: ̗̀➛ It was only because Leona talked about you before when semi ranting about Malleus, and how his little brother was probably twice as annoying

: ̗̀➛ However, when Jack first met you, you weren't anything like Leona described you to be. He was surprised, to be honest

: ̗̀➛ You two hang out a lot, and it's usually during him either working out or studying together wherever you both feel like studying

: ̗̀➛ Jack will treat you to food a lot of the time, and you always insist on treating him back, but he won't really let you

: ̗̀➛ It's because he just wants to spoil you and would feel sort of guilty if you ever did. Both of you talk it out though and you two switch off on who pays for dates

: ̗̀➛ He never really asked you about your family routes because he didn't want to stress you out and also because he thought it was a big secret

: ̗̀➛ Jack is big on respect, so when you tell him who you are, he feels as though you trust him a lot. And you do, but you explain to him that it wasn't that big of a secret

: ̗̀➛ Was embarrassed about it, but you reassured him that his heart was in the right place. You thank him a lot for not pushing, even though it wasn't a secret of who you were

: ̗̀➛ Even before you met Jack, he never cared about social status in the first place

: ̗̀➛ He understands that you are sort of a big deal, but he reassures you that no matter what happens his view of you would never change

: ̗̀➛ He just adores you for you, and you appreciate him looking past the titles that society gave you

: ̗̀➛ Jack doesn't understand the way people treat you sometimes, granted his perspective of you is sort of based on bias

: ̗̀➛ Will listen to you rant whenever you get upset about being compared to your older brother or being held to high expectations

: ̗̀➛ He does help when you feel overwhelmed by your position as Malleus' brother

: ̗̀➛Doesn't understand why others would ever disrespect you or push you around. He does stick up for you, though.

: ̗̀➛ Does get a bit snarly when others treat you with disrespect. He sort of growls and shows his teeth as a threat

: ̗̀➛ Is not one for teasing, but he does compliment you a lot. Jack is just a genuine kind of guy, so he means everything he says to you

: ̗̀➛ You do tell jokes with each other though and sometimes his confusion on some things makes you giggle

: ̗̀➛ You do tease him sometimes because of his innocence and not understanding certain things

: ̗̀➛ Jack just gives you so much respect and protection from other people, he just loves you so much!

EPEL FELMIER

: ̗̀➛ Epel would not care at all, all he sees in you is a partner to love and who sees him how he wants to be seen

: ̗̀➛ Epel knew of your reputation from his classmates and common words spoken among the halls

: ̗̀➛ He often saw you alone, and in some secluded area, away from most of the students. He had asked his house warden, but Vil was too busy with who knows what to give a full answer

: ̗̀➛ So Epel decided to just go up to you himself and befriend you. From then on you two have been inseparable from each other

: ̗̀➛ Epel loves carving you with his apples, almost like a sculpture with a slab of the finest stone. Uses them as gifts and makes you a new one every time the other one rots

: ̗̀➛ When you hang out at Pomefiore with Epel, you two are usually left alone to do whatever you both wanted, though Rook does question you a lot and goes on and on about whatever beauty you hold

: ̗̀➛ Just melts when you compliment his home accent. He slips up sometimes but when you giggle and say you like it, Epel just feels more comfortable with you

: ̗̀➛ You stick up for Epel when Vil is being overbearing on him, and of course Vil really has no choice but to back off

: ̗̀➛ Epel does his best to take you out on extravagant dates, but you tell him that you're content with just simply hanging out and being with each other

: ̗̀➛ You both have gossip sessions about the other students and each other's dorm, It's something you two do to see if the dorms are similar at all and if there's anyway you can help the other

: ̗̀➛ Epel is sort of new on how to comfort people, but it really all depends on what's really upsetting you

: ̗̀➛ Epel completely understands the anxiety and sadness you feel when you get compared to your older brother or the expectations others have on you

: ̗̀➛ Its sort of something you both bond over because of his house wardens expectations that were put on him

: ̗̀➛ You are like emotional pillars for each other, grounding one another and just helping the other out when they aren't feeling to well

: ̗̀➛ Doesn't even resort to words or insults when someone insults you, all it takes is his two fists and one minute and the person is apologizing to you

: ̗̀➛ It's not an often occurrence though, and you usually try to hold Epel back when that said scenario does happen. He will just tell you that he could have handled it

: ̗̀➛ Epel thinks that everyone deserves a baseline of respect, and will show others when they aren't giving that to you. It's usually with his tone of voice or his facial expression

: ̗̀➛ Epel is basically one of the few people that doesn't think of you as scary, and he doesn't really try to convince other's you aren't. Not because he doesn't care about you, but because he thinks, and knows, that he can't change the way others think

: ̗̀➛ You will both tease each other relentlessly, seemingly as a competition on who has the better quip. But if either of you aren't feeling it then it's put to an end pretty quick

: ̗̀➛ Jokes are the exact same way, but they're more so used to lighten up the mood or help the other feel better because of a bad day

: ̗̀➛ Epel will fight for you, and you fight for him, It's how you both show your loyalty and love

SEBEK ZIGVOLY

: ̗̀➛ He already knew who you were, working with the royal family of Briar valley in the first place. But you deciding him as a boyfriend was so surprising to him

: ̗̀➛ He was dating you, Malleus' brother, and 2nd prince of Briar Valley like HUh!? Did he die and go to heaven???

: ̗̀➛ When he was younger, he would never admit this to you, but he had a major crush on you when he first met you

: ̗̀➛ Even being in a relationship, he will still protect you a lot, like he does with Malleus. However, it feels more important when he's protecting you

: ̗̀➛ Sebek adores when you smile at him and tell him he's doing a good job at what he's doing, just appreciating what he's doing in general

: ̗̀➛ He can't really help the way he treats you because of his job, and that's how he was taught

: ̗̀➛ It takes him a bit to adjust to just treating you like a normal partner and a lot of time for him to treat you like a boyfriend

: ̗̀➛ You both sort of take it slow, and you teach him all about relationships, at least the best you can

: ̗̀➛ It also takes a while for him to lighten up when you're around other people

: ̗̀➛ Sebek is always listening to what others are saying about you, just in case he needs to correct yell at them

: ̗̀➛ He also doesn't understand why you won't tell people off when they insult you or talk behind your back

: ̗̀➛ He tries to stand up for you though when someone has the audacity to talk back to you or tries to get away with making a rude comment about you

: ̗̀➛ Will drop Malleus' name a bunch, sort of using him as a threat because seemingly no one wants to be on the fae's bad side

: ̗̀➛ Sebek isn't the best at comforting you when you're sad or upset, but he certainly tries. Usually with a hug or some phrase Lilia had told him a while back that he tried very hard to remember

: ̗̀➛ He also seems to notice how most students seem to avoid you and it's another thing he doesn't understand, he sees you as something so great that everyone should want to be your friend

: ̗̀➛ Sebek doesn't really understand when you express your sadness and anxiety when you get compared to your brother and having higher expectations

: ̗̀➛ Doesn't really understand when or when you're teasing him or joking around with him

: ̗̀➛ He just gets lost in the tone you're trying to represent in your voice and decipher what it means

: ̗̀➛ He would never tease you at all, and it's mostly because he thinks it would be insulting you

: ̗̀➛ It takes a long time for him to actually understand your tone and what you're trying to tell him

: ̗̀➛ Sebek is just a sweetheart who doesn't know how to treat you in a relationship like the one you both have, and also doesn't understand a lot of the things you do but tries his best to learn

Do not repost or translate without my explicit permission! Reblogs are welcome!

#twisted wonderland #twst first years x male reader #x male reader #x male y/n #twisted wonderland x male reader #ace trappola #deuce spade #jack howl #epel felmier #sebek zigvolt #ace x male reader #deuce x male reader #jack x male reader #epel x male reader #sebek x male reader #y/n is the adoptive brother of malleus #twisted wonderland x mallues' brother

[claudemblems]

Never Change | Alhaitham

Summary: You've been subtly trying to change things about yourself to become the "ideal" partner for Alhaitham. However, you didn't take into account that maybe there wasn't anything you needed to fix, and it's up to Alhaitham to reassure you that he loves you just the way you are.

Notes: Fem!Reader. Established Relationship. This didn't turn out like how I imagined in my head ig and it's pretty short (compared to what I usually write), but I hope the Alhaitham fans enjoy this fic nonetheless :)

Despite how intelligent Alhaitham is, there are still many things he doesn't fully understand. Or, rather, it's hard for him to grasp how the majority of the "normal" populace thinks.

This is why he couldn't figure out why you'd been acting so strange as of late. It wasn't until Kaveh explained to him in an exasperated tone that your behavior stemmed from feelings of inferiority. "How can someone as smart as you be so dense to your own girlfriend's feelings?!"

Alhaitham had let Kaveh's insult off the hook that time because he was right. All that knowledge in his brain and yet the Scribe needed extra help to come to the right conclusion. 

Now that he knew what was going on, it was his responsibility to make things right.

"You needed me?"

Leaning against the doorframe of Alhaitham's office, you watched as your boyfriend poured over the piles of paperwork that no doubt came flooding in due to the recent removal of several sages. His body relaxed as soon as he heard your voice, and he quickly abandoned his work for the more important task at hand. "Yes, I'd like to discuss something with you. Just the two of us."

You nodded in response and entered the room, quietly shutting the door behind you. Once you made your way over to an empty chair in front of his desk, Alhaitham locked his gaze with yours, a tell-tale sign that whatever he was about to say was of great importance to himself and to the other person involved—in this case, you. 

“Something’s been bothering you, and you’ve done an impeccable job at keeping it hidden, even from me. Honestly, I couldn’t figure out what it was until Kaveh brought it to my attention.”

“O-oh? Like what?”

“Don’t play coy, [Name].” Alhaitham sighed, though his frustration wasn’t directed at you, rather at his own incompetence. “He told me that you’ve been trying to change yourself, to become someone that’s ‘Worthy of my love.’” 

Embarrassment surged through you, tinting the tips of your ears red. He’s caught onto my problems, huh? You switched your gaze from his eyes to the floor, too ashamed to even look him in the face. But even if you wouldn’t meet his eyes, Alhaitham was determined to get his feelings across to you.

Heat bloomed into your hand as he took it in his, squeezing it tightly. “I don’t know who gave you the idea that you needed to change for me, but they’re completely wrong. I didn’t develop feelings for you out of pity or in the hopes that you could become something “better.” I was attracted to you because of all of your good qualities. You’re quick-witted yet gentle, independent yet considerate. You wear your heart on your sleeve, something that I’ve never been able to do.”

Alhaitham stroked your knuckles, a brief smile appearing on his lips. “I never considered the factor that I might actually one day fall in love with someone. I thought all I needed to be content in life was to devote myself to knowledge and try my best to go about things alone, but then I realized that I’m still human and that I’m prone to emotions. It’s not wrong to choose feelings over logic or love over knowledge. You changed the way I view the world. Now it’s not just about getting by and being satisfied with how things are. I want more. I want to explore these affections that I harbor in my heart. I want to discover everything that makes you smile. I want to know what I can do to make you the happiest person in all of Sumeru—no, in all of Teyvat.”

Alhaitham had gotten up from his desk and cautiously approached you, careful to not overwhelm you in the moment. His free hand came to rest on your cheek, and you let him lift your head up to meet his loving gaze that sent butterflies into your stomach. Had he always looked at you this way and you’d just never noticed? When he looked at you like that, with so much adoration, you wondered how you’d even allowed yourself to doubt just how much he cared for you.

“You were definitely an unexpected variable in all of my plans, but I’m thankful that you found a way to enter into my life. Now that I know what it’s like to love you, I can’t ever be persuaded to let you go.”

Tears brimmed at the edges of your eyes as you stood and wrapped your arms around his torso, your head pressed so close to his chest that you could feel his very heartbeat against your ear.

“Thank you, Alhaitham. I’m sorry that I made you worry.”

“There’s no need to apologize. I’m the one that should have figured out what was going on sooner.” He nestled his head on top of yours, placing a chaste kiss to your hair. “As you can see, I still have a long way to go when it comes to understanding other people.”

“It’s okay. We have all the time in the world, don’t we?”

At this, you felt him smile against you, hugging you a little tighter. “That’s right, and I’m determined to use that time to make sure that you know I love you just the way you are. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. They’re fools if they do.”

Your laughter echoed throughout the room as you melted further into Alhaitham’s embrace, neither of you quite yet ready to let go.

#kat writes #genshin impact #genshin x reader #alhaitham x reader

[melonminnie]

Hello! I really love your Oshi No Ko x Reader fics! Especially ones with Aqua! Honestly I love the guy, but I can't deny that the man is a major red flag- And that got me thinking, what if:

Yandere!Aquamarine x Reader (who eerily looks like Ai Hoshino)? Plus, she doesn't act anything similar to Ai because all her life she was just compared to the late idol-?

Anywho, keep it up!<333

GET UP 🦢 ‧ ₊ ✧ Aqua x fem! Reader

-TYSM FOR REQUESTING sorry for the late request and I’m sorry if this is bad I didn’t know how to end this on a happy note 😓

Aqua thought it was strange, or a coincidence to be exact, maybe even a gift sent from above, gracing him with a second chance with his favorite idol.

But to say he was disappointed was an understatement. Your personality did not, in fact, match that of his late mother, but your looks did, so that was all he cared about.

If he couldn't have her, he would just make do. That was what he told himself over and over again countless times whenever he saw your face.

Sure, your star-like eyes and purple hair matched hers greatly, and he did try really hard to separate the both of you from each other.

He knew how much you hated it when he asked AI Hoshino-related questions that would unleash your short temper on him, causing him to groan in annoyance every time you yelled curses at his face.

Although Aqua hated your short temper and how your eyes dulled with the mention of the late idol, how they looked exactly like hers before she died, and how he despised that you were the exact opposite of the cheery, always happy, and pretty idol – the idol who knew how to act around people, but you didn't – he couldn't fathom why you were so upset. He had no idea.

All he knew was that he hated it so much, to the point where he wanted you. He wanted you, the AI Hoshino that he imagined would be you.

And even if he had to go through all that trouble, he'd try. He'd try his hardest to make you the closest thing he had to the idol.

"Ai wouldn't act like that," he blurted, staring at you blankly. It had been mere minutes before he said that that you two had been arguing.

Without even thinking, you raised your hand, slapping him across the face, leaving a red mark on his cheek.

"Just… just how many times do I have to explain to you that I'm not her? Whatever she meant to you, I'm not her. I'm my own person. Can't you comprehend that?" She questioned, staring at him, her hands forming into fists, waiting for a response from her boyfriend. But he just sighed as if this wasn't worth his time.

"Aqua, you know I thought you were different, that you wouldn't compare me to a dead woman! But that's all you do, and I hate it. Sometimes I wish I never met you," she broke the silence, tears in her eyes, frowning at his silence.

"Look, Ai—" he didn't get to continue his sentence when he realized his screw up.

"Ai? Ai? Are you being serious with me, Aqua?" she screamed at him through tears before walking away, upset and hurt.

Perhaps Aqua wasn't the perfect person for her.

Hope u enjoyed sorry if this is bad I can’t write a good thing abt aqua

#I’m not proud of this one :( #-Azuwritess #oshi no ko x reader #oshi no ko #onk #onk ruby #onk kana #aquamarine hoshino #kana arima #ruby hoshino #akane kurokawa #aqua hoshino x reader #aqua hoshino #aqua x reader #fanfic #oshi no ko fanfic #oshi no ko manga #oshi no ko ruby #oshi no ko anime

[wsdanon]

short snippet of a fic - currently unfinished/not massively edited (700 words) set pre-qsmp sometime after cell starts therapy. celltw. no warnings, pre-relationship, fluff

Pac is pretending to read a book. 

He’s laying on the couch with his legs thrown over the armrest, and his head in Cell’s lap. Cell has one arm limply resting on his chest, and the other hand is gently, absently carding through his hair. 

Pac is pretending to read a book simply because otherwise he’d have nothing to hide his steadily reddening face behind. Occasionally he’ll turn a page, but otherwise he doesn’t dare move. Too worried that he’ll snap Cell out of whatever trance he must be in to have been silently petting Pac’s hair for the past fifteen minutes or so.

They’ve returned to their dancing around each other from before everything went downhill, much to Mike’s chagrin. He compared them to binary stars—orbiting around each other until they inevitably crash together in a fiery explosion. 

Pac thinks it has the potential to end up nicer than that. But he also doesn’t think Mike’s wrong exactly—Cell is still scary to be around sometimes, after all—so he’s keeping his distance. 

And then Cell will go and do something like this. And, well, Pac’s only human. He indulges in it, encourages it, and even seeks it out. Cell is overall pretty skittish, though. It’s easy enough to be pulled back into the reality of oh, yeah, maybe Pac shouldn’t date the guy who ate his leg. Even if they’re sorta-kinda-maybe friends now. 

But then Cell will go and do something like this. 

He was agitated all morning. Enough so that Pac started feeling nervous around him again. So, both Mike and him decided to give Cell his space. 

He left the house without a word to either of them. And when he came back he seemed calmer, and not bloodstained. A little dirty, though. He sat down right next to Pac on the couch, and Pac wasn’t going to ask. 

Instead, they had a bit of a back and forth, which ended in Pac’s head in Cell’s lap. Cell could’ve pushed him off, but he didn’t. Cell could’ve just kept his hands still and off of him, but he didn’t. And, well… sue him, Mike, it’s nice, okay? 

Cell stops his movement abruptly, and Pac is glad the book hides his disappointment. 

“I’m thinking of changing my name.” Cell says. 

“Oh?” 

Pac removes the book from his face, and sits up. Cell frowns, and pulls out the tiny switchblade they’d given him to mess around with. 

“I can still make this hurt you, you know?” Cell had warned them.

“It’s blunt.” Mike had replied, unimpressed.

“Nothing major.” Cell says with a shrug. “What do you think of Cellbit?”

“Cellbit? Very nice!” Pac leans into him, and doesn’t miss the way he fumbles the switchblade a little. “Although… it is kind of an obvious alias, right?”

“It’s not meant to be an alias. It’s a…” Cellbit makes that noise with his tongue, and waves a hand around—searching for the word. “A reminder.” 

“A reminder? Of what?”

“Why I started killing in the first place.” Cell closes the switchblade with a snap. “It wasn’t for fun. It was because I had to. And I don’t have to anymore.”

“Ohh! I see!”

“My therapist thought it was a good idea.” Cellbit grumbles. “You don’t have to use it.”

Pac doesn’t really know if it’ll work, but any attempt to push Cell away from his bloodlust is something he’s willing to indulge in. Besides, he’s not going to call someone by the wrong name. 

“If you prefer I’d use it, I’ll use it.” He lets himself press a little closer. Lets his voice drop a little lower. “It’s a nice name.” 

“Yeah?” Cellbit looks over at him with a smile. It’s a tiny little thing that sends butterflies flying through his stomach. Something soft that they rarely get to see. “It’s the name I used to use. Not my legal one, but I only remember that because that’s what they arrested me under.” 

“Well, Cellbit,” he continues in that low tone, “I really like it.”

Cellbit’s eyes flicker down to his lips. His smile widens into that grin that makes Pac’s heart race for more than one reason. 

“Well, darling, I like the way you say it.” 

The door slams open, and Pac jumps away from Cellbit as quickly as he can. He knows it is absolutely not a coincidence that Mike chose now of all times to walk in on them and silently curses him. 

“Pac!” Mike calls out. “I need your help with something.”

“Fine, fine!” Pac looks back to Cellbit, who’s messing around with his switchblade again. “Uh… sorry. I’ll be back in a second. Maybe.”

“Alright.” Cellbit shrugs, seemingly disinterested. 

Pac internally curses Mike out again, and follows after him to their makeshift lab.

--

author note: i've never posted a fic on tumblr before so i hope this formats okay

#celltw #one maintag #wsd/f.ics #wsd/w.ips

[tealenko]

Didn't Have the Heart (Chapter 9)

Chapter 9: Comparative Study of the Alliance Dress Uniform

You know that thing where you say: I'm not posting anything until I finish my fic (an then you don't finish it in 3 more months) XDDDD Well... Here we are.

So... Hi! I'm back (glad to be, tbh) and ecstatic to FINALLY have a new chapter for this fic lol

Anyways, as promised: I never abandon a fic (it just takes me a lot of time XDDD) so here we go, ch.9!!

Summary: The quarian admiral attacks the dreadnought while Shepard's team is still on board and, as expected, Kaidan doesn't take it too well. Neither does she. Surprisingly, that's not the only way their self-control gets tested in such a short time for, after dealing with all that, they'll need to find the strength of going back to work and not getting lost into one another.

Words: 10450 Rating: Explicit Warnings: oral sex, good old table sex happens too

Read in AO3 -> [link] Previous Chapter -> [link] Next Chapter -> []

Through Hell and Back series -> [link]

-------------------------------------------

Kaidan walks furiously through the main deck.

He has changed from his combat armor to his uniform so fast that Shepard is still putting on her hoodie by the time he exits the room.

“Shit.” She says, standing up to follow him, doing all she can to finish getting dressed while she walks as fast as possible, in an attempt to catch Kaidan.

Shepard knows that, if the doors of the Normandy weren’t automated, his exit of the room would’ve been accompanied by a loud slam noise, so she follows him, her heart pounding with immeasurable strength against her chest, quite afraid of what he is going to do next.

She manages to narrow the gap between them as they cross the main deck, to the point where, once they pass the meeting room, she’s already close enough to talk to him.

“Major…”

Shepard calls for him, stopping to catch her breath and expecting him to do the same.

But he doesn’t, and that gives Kaidan more than enough time to enter the war room before her.

“... Shit.”

She is expecting to hear him yell the moment the door closes behind him.

A “What the hell is wrong with you!?” or a “Fucking moron”, resounding through the entire ship, followed by the natural response of the rest of the crew and the quarian Admiralty Board.

Maybe a yell back, from admiral Gerrel, screaming some poor excuse at him, in a pointless attempt of justifying his actions.

Or perhaps Legion is already inside the room, which would make the whole ordeal even worse, complicating the situation into something that she no longer has the capacity to picture.

“Shit…”

In just a second, countless different situations pass through her thoughts, each of them worse than the previous one. But, despite all that, her expectations fall dead.

There she is, frozen next to the door that separates her from all these terrifying scenarios, and instead of any of them, all she is able to hear is silence.

And that, no matter how much she thinks about it, scares her even more.

When Shepard finally makes it into the room, she finds exactly what she was hoping she wouldn’t: Kaidan already facing the member of the Admiralty Board that she expected him to be yelling at.

Nevertheless, the silence continues, and not only on Kaidan’s behalf.

She examines the room with care to find the overall reaction to the whole situation.

The bulk of the Alliance soldiers inside the war room appear almost as mad as the mayor, trying their best to hide the relief of having a superior officer who is willing to do what they cannot without jeopardizing their rank.

In fact, the few left that do not want Kaidan to rip out the throat of the quarian in question, are only excluded from that group because they are closer to the door, and the sudden appearance of Shepard has startled them enough to make them forget about their anger.

The silence doesn’t stop there.

The rest of the members of the meeting, the two other quarian admirals, plus the one Kaidan is now facing, seem to have lost their words too, although for completely different reasons.

Admiral Raan doesn’t know where to hide, too embarrassed by the behavior of her fellow board member to know what to say to excuse it.

Admiral Xen, on the other hand, is too busy basking in the glory of their small victory to notice there’s anything else happening in the room.

And last, but definitely not least, there’s admiral Gerrel, now the center of most eyes in the room, who, despite what anyone else would have deemed wise, is not even showing a hint of remorse about his actions.

Instead, he just faces Kaidan with an arrogant tone in his posture, too entranced by his own inner monologue to grasp that almost everyone in the room is eager to punch him.

“Major…” She decides to break the silence, instantly capturing the attention of everyone in the room, except for the one person she was truly aiming to gain.

Kaidan not only keeps staring at the quarian, but he does not even seem to notice Shepard’s presence in the room.

She takes a deep breath and begins walking, thanking whichever god might be listening for their intervention while silently praying so that she'll be able to reach them before what she is fearing starts to happen.

Unluckily for her, it starts to happen.

She goes as fast as she’s able, not wanting to run and add up to the whole dramatic atmosphere, and makes it next to them just in time to see how Kaidan’s silence finally comes to an end.

“Explain.” He demands, more than asks, with a glacial tone of voice, raising his head to lock eyes directly with the quarian.

“Alenko…” She tries one more time but, once again, her voice vanishes into the air without getting any kind of response.

Shepard lowers her head a little, her attention immediately drawn to his hand, clenched into a fist as he struggles to keep all his emotions to himself, and the absence of yells finally makes sense to her.

A flicker of guilt blinks through her face as her heart skips a beat due to her initial assumption, almost ashamed for thinking that, after everything he’s had to endure, he would snap like that in front of everyone.

I should’ve known… She blames herself, her mind piecing together thousands of memories of Kaidan. I should’ve known.

The thought of it starts to haunt her for a second but, right on the verge of getting lost in it, she manages to follow his example and conquer her own feelings.

That’s why he’s standing here in silence, with all his strength focused on his own self-control. That’s why he cannot even hear me.

Shepard feels a strong pressure against her heart, while the many histories he told her about his past keep playing inside her head.

There’s now a mix of sadness and sorrow invading her, as she wonders how he manages to remain stoic where she knows she probably wouldn’t. A small hint of shame follows right after, feeling guilty for thinking that he wouldn’t either.

“Explain? I do not think…” 

Before the quarian has the opportunity to further provoke him into going against everything she just deciphered, Shepard gives it one more try, extending her arm to touch him, placing her hand on top of his shoulder.

“Kaidan...” He finally notices her presence.

His hand unclenches the moment he sees her, his entire demeanor easing up within seconds just because of her presence.

“Mio…” 

Sounds more similar to a spell than to a normal word, a whisper that chants her name almost as a call for help.

“I'll take it from here, Major.” She says in a surprisingly calm tone of voice, taking into account everything that just happened.

Kaidan takes a deep breath in and out before dedicating her a tired smile and a nod.

“Of course, Commander.” There’s a sense of relief in his voice as he says this, almost as if he wasn't fully convinced either that his self-control would be enough this time around.

Kaidan takes a step back, positioning himself next to Shepard for a couple of seconds before she decides to take one forwards in order to face the admiral.

Any doubts left about the magnitude of the levels of self-control he managed to accomplish, are instantly erased the moment she takes his place, not even wasting a second before engaging with the quarian. 

“Now…” She says, with a deep tone in her voice, ready to ask for the exact same but with way more anger than Kaidan did only a few seconds ago, taking her time to formulate the whole word. “Explain.”

If there was tension in the room before, now it has escalated into something even more serious, and it seems that the only one who isn’t able to notice it is the focus of it all, still too blinded by his own inner narrative to understand what everyone else is thinking.

“Explain what?”

Shepard raises one of her eyebrows and, for a second, she doesn’t know how to react to his behavior. Nevertheless, and luckily for her, that confused pause opens a window so that someone else explodes in anger right before she does.

“Explain what!?” Admiral Raan half yells at him, doing her best to control her tone of voice. “Your unilateral strike endangered us all! I should charge you with treason.”

Gerrel stares at her for a second, almost surprised that his fellow board member was the one to pronounce those words.

“I was within my authority as admiral of the Heavy Fleet!” He replies, his voice resonating through the tense atmosphere of the room.  

“And what of Shepard? And Tali’Zorah?”

The admiral almost lets a laugh out, finding utterly absurd that his actions could be considered reprehensible.

For a moment, he turns to look at the commander and, even though his face is not visible, the way he moves is more than enough to convey how little significance he gives to both her and the rest of the people who were aboard the dreadnought.

As a whole, he regards the discussion as a complete waste of time, truly unbothered by the gravity of the accusations against him, only annoyed by the fact that people are still yelling at him.

His next decision, unfortunately, is to reply in the exact same fashion. And that, it’s what finally does it.

No one who knows the slightest thing about Shepard would ever mistake her for being short-tempered.

In fact, something that often surprises those around her, the more you get to know her, the more it seems like her patience is limitless. The few that had the chance to really know her, can attest that the assumption is indeed true.

This becomes really evident once you understand the reason behind it.

Survival has been the sole focus of Shepard’s life since she can remember and, to achieve that, she had to learn how not to feel, how not to talk and, most importantly, how not to behave.

And she’s exceptionally good at it.

The insults never bothered her, even before her life started crumbling, when she was only a child with dreams and emotions still untouched. 

Everything she knew vanished and despite the horrors of her upbringing, or perhaps because of them, her insight and self-control never failed her.

So, when she got into the Alliance and had to endure the questioning looks and comments about her background, her education, her origins, her gender, her abilities and even about the way she breathed, she was more than used to let everything slide, feeling almost entertained by the prospect of seeing the face of everyone who ever dared to judge her after proving them wrong.

She even got through Cerberus without losing control.

Except for once.

But, even then, she was able to keep it all to herself and paid it later with the wall. That specific wall that now has a twin dent to match that one, added quite recently by her own helmet when she threw it against it.

Nevertheless, one could say, without any trace of hesitation, that after saving the universe an absurd amount of times in the last four years, being dead for two of them to come back to life… The breakups, countless confrontations, battles and way too many conversations with politicians, two dents in a wall, and a broken hand after causing the first of them, are indeed a sign of never-seen before self-control.

And nothing could be more true. 

To this day, Shepard's ability to keep calm, or at least to fake it, even in the middle of the wildest tempest she encounters, hasn’t met an equal match yet, not even in Kaidan.

Stoic against every single thing she faces.

Or at least until today.

For, with all said and done, everyone has their limits, even her, and against his better judgment, this quarian that now stands in front of her, with an inexplicable air of moral superiority, has chosen to cross hers to uncharted territories.

“They escaped unharmed! Shepard, the mission parameters changed.”

She looks at him almost in awe at his stupidity, baffled by every word that comes out of the quarian's mouth.

Unsure of what else to do, feeling the anger growing inside of her at an unprecedented speed, she decides to opt for a classic technique, a last attempt to maintain composure, and starts counting to ten inside her head.

One, two…

“You’re military. You understand that.”

She never makes it to three.

“I understand that you wasted your chance to withdraw safely!”

The room falls into complete silence for a moment, the air heavy with extreme disbelief. Everyone in it, whether Alliance soldier or not, wears a shocked expression on their face, completely stunned by Shepard’s reply to the quarian. 

“You want to sacrifice your fleet in exchange for nothing, be my guest. But for me, my people come first so, if you aren’t able to control your egomaniacal outbursts, I will not hesitate, even for a second, to abandon all the quarians to the demise you are so eager to lead them to. Do you copy me!?”

“It was the right decision, Shepard.” The admiral’s voice shifts a little, losing the condescending tone, but with the same overall feeling as he adds: “I will not apologize for it. We are at war with the Geth!”

Shepard’s eyes narrow at his response, her patience stretched to its limits as she closes her hand into a fist and, while the rest of the room remains in shock, Kaidan, who is witnessing the small gesture from an unmatched perspective, quickly understands what’s going to happen next.

“That’s the fucking problem, we are at war with the reapers!” Her voice raises even more than before. “The geth are not the ones you should be fighting, they are! And, if you aren’t gonna do anything about it, at least have the decency of not trying to blow up the ones that are trying to stop them!”

“The dreadnought was a perfect targ…” 

What Kaidan was fearing becomes a reality and, before the admiral has time to finish his sentence, Shepard closes the small gap between them. 

Her arm seems to move back on its own, accumulating more than a tone of tension and, before any other thought crosses her head, she punches the admiral right into the middle of his stomach.

“Ugh!”

Even Kaidan is surprised, despite seeing the punch coming from afar, not expecting the strength it carried along with it, understanding now the amount of anger accumulated in Shepard’s body.

“Admiral, you jeopardized your mission, your people and my people!” The last two words almost choke at her throat, her vocal cords tensing with anger. “Now, get the hell off my ship.”

The way she says ‘my people’ gives Kaidan everything he needs to understand the source of her rage.

She isn’t mad that they almost killed her… She’s furious because they almost killed us… Killed me.

He stares at Shepard, who is too focused on deep breathings to notice the way he is looking at her, with a tint of half guilty and half relief painting her face as she witnesses admiral Gerrel, with one hand glued to his stomach, struggling a bit to walk as he exits the room. 

Knowing what comes next, Kaidan tries his best to reach her, not sure what he'll do once he's next to her, but wanting to be there nonetheless.

Unfortunately, the madness of the whole situation quickly claims her attention, and before he’s even able to take more than a step, she’s already into damage control mode.

Despite fully knowing that she’s been way harsher than it is proper or allowed, she doesn’t apologize for it, and even though she regains her usual peaceful demeanor, the tone of her speech remains the same, exposing without hesitation the damage that admiral Gerrel’s actions could do to their alliance.

Once Kaidan is sure that the fire is over, and aware that there’s nothing he can add or do to help her, he takes a step back from the whole situation and lets her alone to deal with the whole ordeal as she recovers little by little some of that stoic persona that she adopts whenever she deals with politicians.

Still, he wants to talk to her about everything that just happened, so he decides to leave the room and walk to her cabin, a more suitable environment to have that kind of conversation.

When Shepard is eventually free and retires herself to her quarters, Kaidan is already inside waiting for her.

“I know, I know…” She sighs and huffs, stating out loud her thoughts from the moment she enters through the door . “I know.”

Kaidan smiles, which he knows he shouldn’t, but is unable to help it, finding her reaction too charming to avoid it.

There’s a second where he almost considers to lecture her about her behavior, but the idea never gets to fully form, knowing he would’ve probably ended up doing the same thing if it wasn’t for her intervention.

Instead he just sighs, placing one hand on his hip as he waits for her on the other side of the room, maintaining the smile that adorns his face.

The sweet view relaxes her a little, grateful to have Kaidan’s support through all this madness.

“I know I shouldn’t have punched him.” She declares while crossing her room in record time to sit on the bed and take off her boots. “I know.”

Kaidan starts to sense the heavy amount of stress building up on her, aware that, despite what everyone else wanted, she must not be happy with the way her body took that decision without listening to her brain.

“It’s alright… It'll be, at least.” He sits next to her, resting his right foot on top of his knee. “Nothing you can do about it now…” He lets his body fall a little towards her, nudging her shoulder. “Just focus on the next step, that’s all left to do.”

“Urgg…” She groans, letting all her weight fall to lie on the bed. “Yeah… I guess it’s all damage control now.”

He turns a little to look at her, watching her as she goes through every detail on her mind.

“Luckily I’ve somehow managed to end up on the victorious end of the exchange with the rest of the quarians.�� She says out loud, both to process the state of the situation and to inform him of what he missed.  “Maybe because of Tali’s intervention once you left, or because admiral Raan wanted to hit him as much as I did, we’ll never know, but at least I haven’t broken any potential alliance… Yet.”

“Yet? You sell yourself short, Shepard.”

“You were there too, Alenko.”

“Yeah, and would’ve been the one to hit the admiral if it weren’t for you.” He lies next to her, turning a little to face her before he continues. “Everyone would’ve… We’re human, after all.”

He laughs a little but she doesn’t follow, which is enough for him to understand there’s something else bothering her.

“What are you afraid to break, then?”

She almost smiles, amazed and elated, even after all this time, by the fact that she doesn’t even need to talk for him to understand her.

“I’ve called for another meeting, conclave… Whatever you wish to call it.” Shepard sighs, dreading even the thought of it. “Part of the damage control, and to see if we can do something about all this shitshow.”

“A meeting?”

“Yup. Two quarian admirals, three, counting Tali, Garrus will be there too, representing primark Victus and, if my messages are correct, I think Wrex will attend from remote using the quantum comm system which, I’m already fearing, is gonna be something for the books, if you ask me.”

She brings her arm to her head, covering her eyes, counting the many things that could go wrong as she speaks.

“And to tie it all up, Legion is gonna be there too, as spokesperson… Spokespeople?” She considers the term for a moment. “Spokesmachine? Who knows…” Shepard laughs a little at her own comment, not knowing what else to do. “To represent the geth consensus, basically. Because the situation wasn’t difficult enough already.”

She is expecting Kaidan to say something but, when he doesn’t, moves her arm back to its normal resting place so she can look at him.

Shepard recognizes the expression on his face right away, but not knowing the cause of it, she just waits with an inquisitive look for him to share his concerns.

“So…” Kaidan finally says, while trying to link everything inside his mind. “You befriended a geth…”

She’s shocked for a few seconds until her thoughts catch up with her and understands that, the thing that’s so natural for her right now, may seem close to impossible from the outside. 

An intelligent machine not only saved her life, twice now, but also helped her take down the collectors and, she’s quickly realizing, that all that information must be quite new for Kaidan.

“Ah, yeah…” She laughs, still not knowing what else to do, moving a little in order to face him.

Her first instinct is to come up with an explanation, but the whole story seems so complicated that she doesn’t even know where to start.

“You’ll see…” She tries her best to explain. “Last year, was a bit weird…”

“That’s an understatement.”

They both start laughing, for real this time around.

“I mean, I read the reports that said you were working with a geth but… I don’t know. I needed to see it to believe it, I guess.” Kaidan adds as he smiles. “Talks a lot about that quarian admiral though.”

“What?”

“Well, you were able to make an ally of the geth. How stupid do you have to be to anger someone who’s that diplomatic?” Kaidan laughs, a bit in disbelief. “You even managed to peacefully deal with the rachni, holy shit… And that moron singlehanded succeeded in making you punch him in less than three minutes.”

“I guess…”

There’s a moment of silence there before she decides to continue.

“I’m assuming you’ll have questions…” He looks at her with confusion. “Bout the whole Legion thing.”

He doesn’t give the idea a second thought before replying to her comment.

“No, it’s okay.” There’s a hint of astonishment on her face as he begins to explain himself. “I’m not gonna lie, I’m still surprised, but I mean… You called it, them, your friends. That’s more than enough for me.” He smiles at her. “I trust you.”

Shepard sighs a little, relieved and overwhelmed by the feeling caused by the way he just said that.

“Thanks…” She barely whispers, turning to face him and scooting a bit closer in order to kiss him.

“My pleasure.” The smile on his face deepens even more. “I’d like to hear the whole story one day if we ever have the time, though. If you don’t mind.”

“Sure.” Shepard mirrors his expression, moving one hand to rest on his chest. 

She lets her head fall a little, giving him a place to rest his own. 

The scent of her shampoo greets him as an old friend, mixed with the usual hints of sweat, blood and deodorant that surrounds any Alliance soldier who puts a foot into the battlefield.

Kaidan wonders what he must smell like right now, a thought that almost tempts him to break the closeness between them but, despite his worries, he stays there for a while, glued to her, only moving to comb some of her hair behind her ear.

The gesture makes her move a little in order to face him and is quickly welcomed by a warm and tired smile, their gaze locking into one, choosing the dangerous prospect of losing themselves into each other’s eyes.

There’s an unspoken second of devotion there. One of those moments that appear to float in wonder instead of being grounded to reality. Feelings so deep and solid that almost seem to pierce themselves into their owners’ hearts.

Just for a moment, everything else disappears, except for them, floating alone in a realm of their own, with the pressure of all their feelings carving its way into their souls.

Only for a second, they are truly alone. Alone in her room but also alone to each other, no thought of anything else but them occupying their minds.

However, rare miracles do not last for long, and this one is not an exception. 

What comes fast disappears at the same pace, and before it can survive any longer, she makes sure to break it before it escalates to something even deeper.

The pressure of so many feelings pounding inside her chest is something she’s still getting used to but, above everything, she fears the many hours that this moment may grow into if she lets it happen.

She doesn’t let it happen.

With her previously shattered self-control now fully recovered, she puts an end to it, lowering the two of them back to reality with a single move, shifting her head to look at her wardrobe as she tries to focus on her work again.

“Anyways,” she stretches her neck, “I should be getting ready…” The last word loses its strength as it comes out of her mouth, eyes still fixed on the furniture in question.

There's a split second of silence there, as Kaidan returns back to his own self too.

“What, don’t wanna enter a room full of politicians wearing your hoodie?” He teases her, once he’s able.

“Wish I could…” She stands up from the bed in record time, facing her dresser with a slightly annoyed look on her face. “Now, let's see if I can do something to undo the grave the quarians have dug for themselves.”

Kaidan stands up too, knowing that both their moment and their conversation have come to an end and, after a good luck said as a farewell, he starts walking towards the door at an unhurried pace.

To his eyes, she seems to feel better, which makes him feel better too, but only a few steps afar from the door he hears a subtle sigh, and that's more than enough to make him stop and turn, seeing her pull out her formal clothes almost with disgust.

Unsure of what else to do, tired of over analyzing everything, Kaidan puts his brain to rest for a little and just does what comes natural for him.

“You know, if you need help…” He tells her from the other side of the room. “You only need to ask.”

She smiles a little, her mind making a thousand innuendos before she understands the true meaning behind his words.

“Oh, with the meeting.”

“Yeah… With the meeting.” 

He starts walking all the way back to her. 

It takes him perhaps three seconds to get there, but they pack many thoughts in between them to not develop them further.

The first is dedicated exclusively to deciphering her words, followed by another to process them.

The last one, is fully focused on drafting an effective comeback.

Despite being a pure and innocent offer at the beginning, he quickly understands in which way her mind has twisted his words to cause hers and, more than willing to follow the path she’s taken for the both of them, Kaidan savors his possibilities, unable to avoid smiling a little on his lasts steps back to her.

“More than glad to help with anything you need, ma’am.”

The reply takes her by surprise, giving him the opportunity to rest his hands on her waist before she’s able to reply, an ability that’s completely lost the moment he tugs from her to close the little gap left between them. 

There’s something close to shock in her expression, mixed with shyness and excitement on equal parts, and the view of it makes Kaidan smile even further.

He considers for an instant the path his actions could lead to but, no matter how much all of him would like to walk right through it, it’s now his turn to exercise the same self-control she displayed less than a minute ago, so he pulls back, just as she did, before he is no longer able to do so.

Kaidan grins from ear to ear, scouring the room as he attempts to teach his body to follow his wishes or, better said, to not fully follow them.

“Sorry, it wasn’t my initial motivation…” He clears his throat. “I swear.”

Shepard smiles as he says that, always happy to see Kaidan forget his formal ways around her.

“But, in all seriousness now, I can go to the meeting if you need me to.” He stares at her. “You know I don’t mind these things as much as you do.”

Shepard sighs, considering the prospects of his proposal.

“It would be nice.” She takes a few seconds to consider the idea. “I mean… I fear that if I go in there alone I’m gonna strangle somebody, or something worse.”

“You only need to ask, Mio.” 

The mention of her name warms her heart in a way that she would’ve deemed impossible a few years ago, finding relief in what used to haunt her not too long ago. 

Shepard doesn’t need to give it a second thought before accepting his offer. 

“Mind to join me, Kaidan?”

There’s no hesitation on his answer either.

“Whatever you command.” 

He closes the distance again and, without breaking eye contact, grabs her hand and vows a little to kiss it, not leaving more than an inch between them as he recovers his posture. “I should go change into my formal uniform then…”

There’s an audible gulp.

She almost loses it again, needing to break eye contact and quickly pulling her hand from his grasp, taking a step backwards while her mind keeps yelling control in an endless loop inside her head.

“Later…” She kinda mumbles, unable to talk any louder. 

Kaidan leaves the room after that, smiling from ear to ear, and with a: “Yeah… Later” whispered as his last reply before he exits.

After a much needed moment to recover, she turns her attention back to the wardrobe.

The smile is lost in an instant and, the feelings that seemed to be the biggest threat to distract her from her dutty only a moment ago, are quickly forgotten as her hands reach for her formal uniform once again.

The sigh that comes out of her is even deeper this time around, with almost hints of disgust mixed with it as she stares at her clothes.

Shepard’s relationship with her uniform was a tumultuous one from her very beginning at the Alliance.

She wasn’t alone in her feelings, of course, there were many who didn’t like the design, nor the fit, but Shepard never cared enough about fashion to even consider them part of the problem.

After her humble and more than rocky path to adulthood, she had never had the chance to develop a style of her own, nor had the means to afford it, so the way the uniform looked never bothered her at all.

For Shepard clothing was all about functionality, and she only needed two things present in whatever she was wearing: protection and comfort.

This last one, was where she started to have problems with the Alliance uniform.

Her regular clothes weren’t as bad as her gala attire, but there were hard edges where she didn’t want them, itchy seams here and there, and a belt so big that almost forced her to remain standing if she didn’t want it poking into her skin.

The formal uniform had all these defects as well, but added many more to the mix, making it even more difficult to move her body while wearing it.

Nevertheless she wore it without complaining and, at the beginning, it was only a minor inconvenience that she quickly learned to live with.

It wasn’t until she was four years into the Alliance that a new factor was added to the discomfort.

Even before Akuse, her ideals had already begun to crumble as she gained insight into the inner workings of the Alliance. However, the consequences of said mission, along with the factors that led to its failure, were more than enough to taint Shepard’s vision of the Alliance to a whole new level.

And the clothing, that only used to matter for protection and comfort, earned a third attribute on her list, as she realized they were also a symbol. A symbol she no longer wanted to wear.

Because of that, an unconscious behavior more than a deliberate choice, she began to avoid wearing it as much as she could, staying longer in her combat gear than needed and choosing civilian clothes in leaves, not wanting to wear it more than it was mandatory.

Thinking about all this she starts to take her current clothes.

The pants are so old that there are no longer traces of the Alliance insignia and, both the t-shirt and the jacket that used to cover it, were abandoned long ago, are now replaced for their N7 equivalents: a black tank top and a hoodie.

She takes off this last one and lets it fall to the ground, granting her full view of her own arms.

The sight of them perturbs her a little, as it’s been doing for more than a year now, looking at the perfect and immaculate skin that adorns them as if it was a curse.

The scars, the scratches, the tattoos… Even most of her moles are gone, courtesy of Cerberus, and the idea of it saddens her more than she could’ve ever imagined.

The arms aren’t the only ones that got that treatment and, as she takes off her pants, she remembers what her legs felt like, burning inside of her suit as was stranding in space, suffocating, just before crashing into Alchera.

“Geth attacks my ass…” She mumbles, as the view of her legs reminisce her of the excruciating pain that’s no longer marked into her skin, but which memory will forever scorch inside of her. 

She half grunts while kicking the discarded clothes closer to the wardrobe.

“Ah yeah… The reapers.”

Shepard imitates the tone that was used on her the first time she heard the comment, feeling the long years that she spent screaming about the upcoming war pressuring onto her heart. 

The first but not last. She tried many, countless times, but almost no one in the Alliance listened to her and, the few that did, didn’t move a finger either.

“Not true, they put me in charge once they could no longer deny their existence.” 

She adds in a satiric tone of voice, half laughing with a hint of despair. 

Shepard stares at the ceiling for a second, bottling back most of her anger while taking a deep breath.

“Happy thoughts, Mio… Happy thoughts.” Her brain goes back to the past but, this time around, in search of something that helps her to put on her clothes. “Anderson did try to help you. He’s still trying.”

A smile, a faint and weak smile, but a smile nonetheless, appears on her face as she focuses on that thought.

It’s not a lot but is enough to get her started, and as she begins to get into her formal uniform, her mind travels to a well known place.

It’s always more bitter than sweet, to think about her early days in the Alliance after what happened in Akuze, but for some reason this time around it isn’t.

Right now, her will is just looking for the good things hidden behind her suffering and, almost unknowingly, she engages in a well too practiced routine, a personal mantra of her own, and just focuses on the one thing that’s keeping her in the Alliance: the people.

Not the high ups, the corrupted or the politicians, but the soldiers, the individuals she’s met throughout the years, the people that actually get things done.

With every new item of clothing she names one of them inside her head. 

The bulk of the list has been dead for a while now, or will be soon, she fears, thanks to the war. But, no matter what, they’re still worth fighting for.

And just like that, the names travel through her mind creating a bittersweet road for her will to travel while she gets ready, for all intents and purposes, for her next battle. 

The uniform is finally on and, almost as if the universe did it to annoy her, it fits her perfectly.

The seams align themselves right where they’re supposed to, the length of the sleeves is immaculate and even the trousers, which she usually has problems finding ones that aren’t too short for her height, end right after her ankle, offering a clear view of her new and uncomfortable shoes.

Her whole uniform is in fact new, not only the shoes, which somehow makes her hate it even more. 

You have to wear it down to earn it. Shepard adds, in her mind, as she fixes the final details, the long lost words of an old mentor that would be entirely lost, if not for her.

One last look into the mirror, an exhale and a nod. Then she’s ready to leave.     

Shepard goes all the way from her cabin to the main deck, heading to the war room and, to her dismay, she notices the effect the uniform is having among the crew of the Normandy.  

Everyone stands more stiffly than usual, quicker, looks focused on her when she passes by them and whispers of anticipation once she leaves, unknowingly reacting to this image of Shepard that is so unusual for them.

She takes a second once she makes it to her destiny, readjusting the stiff collar of the jacket, and breathes deeply before entering the room. The moment she puts a foot on it, the whole mood changes.

Thanks to her hesitation while dressing herself, Shepard is indeed fashionably late but, once she crosses the threshold of the door, her own worries and preferences are gone and, despite being the last one to enter the room, the way she carries herself quickly gains everyone's attention.                                                               

All looks are now on her, but hers are intentionally focusing on no one.

There’s a strange feeling that tells Shepard that, if anyone else gets a word in edgeways, she will lose control of the meeting and everyone will start to yell at each other. So she starts talking the second she sets foot in the room, exposing all the collected intel while doing her best to target her eyes at the exposed data, fearing that looking at anyone would give them the idea to say anything at all.

To her favor, the strategy works extremely well for a while, with everyone more focused on Shepard than in the grudge they hold against each other.

Nevertheless, she cannot talk forever and, just as she feared, the moment she stops, Hell quickly gets loose and everyone starts to gradually yell in order to be heard.

Garrus maintains a civil voice at the beginning but, in his endeavor of balancing his attention, he ends up forgetting his manners, dividing his efforts between exposing the turian’s priorities, as a representative of primark Victus, and helping Tali with anything she attempts to say.                                                                             

Despite trying his best, Tali’s voice is muffled by many others, screaming at each other while she attempts with all her will, but still fails, to keep the peace between all the races present there.                                                                                 

To her dismay, the voices that are more distinguishable right now are the ones talking without basic peace at mind, combining into a loud mix of many questionable ideas and opinions.

We have the intertwined with static voice of Wrex, yelling incoherent things over the comm system, extremely mad at the quarians after learning what the now not present admiral did to the dreadnought while Shepard was still in it.

The two other admirals, to add into the chaos, are way too busy with their own discussion to pay any kind of attention or reply to his complaints. 

Raan is entranced in a monologue about the importance of sending a team to rescue Admiral Koris that, in all fairness, would be making way more sense if she wasn’t fighting at the same time against Xen’s attempts to discredit her, interested in taking the upper hand of the meeting and only stopping her remarks here and there to express her willingness to dismantle Legion at any given opportunity. 

Legion, on their part, is surprisingly, and despite all this, the more sane voice among the group, stating only the given facts and doing extremely well at countering the admiral’s attempts to deconstruct them. 

Unfortunately, everything they say gets immediately lost in the general chaos of the room.

Anyone else would have followed the example of the rest of the members of the meeting: screaming until I am heard. But not Legion.

After analyzing everything in nanoseconds, they come to the conclusion that any intervention will be disregarded, so Legion, instead of adding to the general madness, decide that stepping back and gathering data to process it is a better use of their time.

After many attempts to regain control of the room, Shepard gives up too, but for a completely different reason.                                                                                    

She’s had a very long day, and comes to the conclusion that, the best way to go through this, is to let them yell to each other as much as they need. So she just takes a few steps backwards and rests her weight against the glass walls, taking a few seconds to breathe.

For the first time since she entered the room, she raises her head and sees the only member who’s been silent through the entire meeting.

Kaidan is on the opposite side of the room, a bit separated from the others, trying his best to understand each and every point of view, with hands supporting some of his weight as they rest on top of the table that’s in between all of them.

So she raises her head, looks at Kaidan and, for the first time in her life, the Alliance dress uniform suddenly feels like the most beautiful thing she’s ever witnessed.

She looks away for a moment, but her eyes quickly betray her and move back to him for, no matter how much self-control anyone has developed throughout the entire history of the current cycle of life in their galaxy, and the many before this one, it would never be enough to not make her look again, not enough to avoid forgetting about this whole entire meeting and is not enough, and would never be enough, to keep her from staring in awe.

So, while the rest of the people gathered there are way too busy half screaming at one another, the only thing that remains for her is Kaidan, and the table that selfishly separates them.

Of course, to her eyes, Kaidan is always handsome, breathtaking on most occasions, but the formal uniform is having an effect on her that she could've never anticipated.

Details that she considered deeply annoying only a few minutes ago, turn quickly into reasons to keep looking at him. Her eyes, no longer under her control, go deep into an extensive study of the matter. 

The uniform doesn’t seem more used than hers but, under further inspection, she notices it’s an older model than her own.

Way older, not old fashioned or runned down, but she can tell that, apart from the jacket, more recently acquired after his promotion, the rest of the pieces have details no longer featured in newer versions.

Nevertheless, this is something visible perhaps only for Shepard, having both the in-depth knowledge about the Alliance formal wear and the interest in scanning the mayor’s body whenever the opportunity is presented.

So, to everyone else, it only looks like any other dress uniform, kept in perfect condition and apparently brand new, perhaps a little ill fitting if one wanted to compare it to Shepard’s, which it’s been chosen with her current measurements in mind.

But, after all, saying that something is ill fitting, is a more subjective term than one may imagine.

What is clear is that, after many years of training, the attire is a bit smaller than it should, thanks to the gained muscle throughout his career, making even the jacket, despite being the newest addition to the outfit, suit quite tightly against his body.

To some degree that could be considered ill fitting, especially for the more ruthless and old school officers, but, for Shepard, the general opinion is quite the opposite and, what she has in mind to describe it, would fall closer to distracting than to ill fitting.

Kaidan turns to talk with Legion, perhaps because they seem like the only ones in the room willing to listen and, after a few moments in their conversation, she sees him smile a little, just a little, but it’s more than enough to be extremely heartwarming. 

He, even more than her, had been fed for years into having animosity against the geth, institutionalized in their upbringing in the Alliance and, to be real, in every single organic society.

So, seeing him so calm and willing to be open, brings back the familiar pressure against her soul that only he is able to cause.

By the way she sees Kaidan reacting to what Legion is saying, how he speaks to them and, most importantly, how he smiles, she quickly realizes that they are talking about her, confirmed as Kaidan turns to meet her gaze only for a second, deepening the glee reflected on his face before redirecting his attention back at the geth.

If things inside the room were starting to vanish for her before, they are completely gone after that, being only left right now: him, her and the table he’s still leaning on.

Kaidan's attention goes back to Legion, but that doesn’t help her either for, with the movement, perhaps aided by the tight fit of the jacket, the first button of his uniform becomes undone, offering a clearer view of Kaidan’s neck from where she’s resting.

Her right hand moves slowly on its own, imagining how she’d take care of the next one if she was able.

Shepard toys with the idea of what she would do with that if they were alone in the room, her fingers moving a little by her side as she pictures herself slowly unbuttoning the third clasp, and she can almost feel his reaction on them, imagining him gulping as he does his best to remain stoic.

Kaidan does that sometimes, pretending the touch of her skin doesn’t affect him, perhaps because he is unknowingly aware that this usually challenges her to prove him wrong.

How she wishes to prove him wrong right now.

With every second she spends looking at him, the more her opinion about the formal uniform gets twisted. Morals, memories and ideals are quickly forgotten in favor of the way the clothes hug every inch of his body as she wishes she could do right now.

Her priorities get upside down too and now, rather than focussing her efforts in getting out of the meeting, and her galas, as soon as possible, she’s drowning in the prospect of getting rid of his uniform instead.

Shepard traces the steps on her mind, trying to tame her hand to stop moving along with her imagination.

She knows that, after the first buttons, his neck would be completely uncovered. She also knows that she wouldn’t be able to resist the invitation.

Her hand tangling in his hair while she attacks, leaving a trail of kisses and nibbles while she rests her weight against him, both of them supported by the table.

The other hand, also eager to be a part of the exchange, would roam his body, mapping everything her eyes were witnessing with such despair.

She can hear the soft moans. His and hers.

Can feel his hands, resting at her hips to pull her closer, as he always does, even if it’s physically impossible to leave less space between them, humming something similar to a low growl as she presses herself against him without stopping her attack.

Her own hand, abandoning his hair to travel south, resuming its prior argument with the buttons of his jacket and, of course, after winning it, it’s extremely happy to find there’s nothing below it for once. 

The next step seems only obvious.

She grabs him by the collar and kisses him until they forget for a second they need to breathe to remain alive, only stopping so that her mouth is able to follow her hand’s example and wanders downwards, treating his chest and abs with the same treatment as his neck.

Shepard can hear him laughing a little, deep and sultry, a mix between a moan and a giggle, as she starts to take care of the buttons of his trousers now that the ones of his jacket have been defeated.

The moment her lips reach the place they were headed, his uniform is no longer a problem, as her hands have undone his pants and lowered them enough, along with his underwear, to welcome her just in time.

One last kiss, placed right on the lower part of his stomach, is followed by a new trail to the upper side of his leg as she kneels before him, adopting a more comfortable position as her mouth gets closer to her target. 

Her left hand surrounds his hardness, winning her a moan, while the other grips around his leg, both for stability and because she knows the effect that motion tends to cause.

She is in the right.

Kaidan moves his hands too, one on the table, also to maintain his balance, the other to her hair, stroking it in a loving way as he does his best to control his breathing.

His eyes are directed towards the ceiling, focussing in nothing in particular, and she takes that as another challenge so, now that she’s as comfortable as it gets, she starts moving her left hand, in a slow motion, altering the pressure at the same time as its position, using her thumb to caress the tip of his cock as she does so.

“Mio…”

There it is again.

Her name.

A shiver roams her entire body as she hears him say it. The fact that the whisper is followed by his gaze, doesn’t help her either.

Distraction aside, she doesn’t lose her focus.

“God…” He sighs, as her hand keeps working on him. “Mio.”

She smiles at him, bathes on the sight of his face as he pants, struggling a little to breathe, and starts her offensive.

In a moment, before his brain has the time to prepare for it, her lips are surrounding him. Her hand keeping the grip while her mouth gets used to the novelty of his presence.

His first moan after all that is quite controlled, having everything into consideration but, once she adds her tongue to the mix, most of his self-control is quickly lost.

She uses it to travel its length with a rippling motion and, with her hand leaving more space for her as it anchors to his leg, she starts to move her head even more, taking all his length into her mouth so that she can feel his reaction to the whole motion deep into her throat.

The pace of her rhythm and his moans grow at equal speed.

She is moaning too. Everytime she feels him getting even harder her whole body reacts: her hands increase the strength of their grip, her legs tremble a little, her tempo gets faster and, what started as a warm sensation, is now a full on fire, demanding his presence somewhere else once her mouth is done with him.

One of her hands travels to her own body, desperate to comply with some of its requests and, without neglecting her attention to Kaidan, undoes her own pants, quickly finding its way where it's more wanted, humming in pleasure with every new movement of her fingers. 

As a reply to all this, he gets even harder, and they get tangled in a loop of pants and moans that goes for a while, until she decides to take it even further.

Fully aware of the effect it's going to cause, she slows the pace just enough to be able to contract her throat, with her eyes looking up directly at him to see his reaction.

The view is completely priceless.

His head falls down as he lets out a new kind of moan, a mix of pleasure and surprise that covers his body as he tries his best to control himself, failing a little as the grip on her hair gets even stronger.

Kaidan’s eyes are closed, but having her mouth where she has it, he can feel her smile for a moment before repeating the action a second time, and the a third and, when he starts to think he’s gotten used to the sensation, she decides to add back into the mix everything else she was doing until now, composing a symphony of pleasure that takes almost all the power left in him.

There’s a moment of hesitation there. 

Under the attack of hundreds of waves of bliss, his body doesn’t know what to do, a part of it begging for him to make this last as long as possible while another tells him to grab her head and lose himself in the depths of her throat.

He wishes both of them where possible, but a choice must be taken.

Nevertheless, he’s too late to be the one to choose.

Under the same wave of conflict, Shepard is quicker to take a path and, dedicating special attention to her last lick, she moves backwards and stands up.

The confusion on his face lasts only for a second, understanding everything the moment she pushes him against the table, making him lay completely on it except for the lower part of his legs which remain hanging from the edge.

Kaidan uses his own feet to take off his shoes and, right after, moves a little to take off his pants. 

At the same time, Shepard is busy doing basically the same but, perhaps thanks to how much she despises what she’s wearing, she’s able to get rid of her entire uniform and underwear in the same time that it takes him to remove two items of clothing.

She’s on top of him in record time and, completely desperate at this point, has already decided to throw the forplay out of the window.

No more caresses, or nibbles, or kisses.

She doesn’t even wait for him to look at her as she usually does.

His body is more than ready and that’s good enough for her.

Without a second thought, she aligns herself and lets gravity do the rest of the work, focussing on the sensation that fills her as she closes her grip on his shoulders.

Despite not being consulted, Kaidan is thrilled with the path taken. His hands, ready to show her his agreement, bask in the pleasure of surrounding her ass to push her even closer to him.

That’s all she needs.

After that warm invitation she starts moving against him right away, using all her body to ride him as they crash together against the table. 

She can feel the cold of the room, the soreness of her back, still not fully recovered after a battle injury, and the pain in her knees, getting scratched and bruised by the table every time she pounds all her weight against him.

She doesn’t care.

With every motion, every push, she feels him filling her more and more, and all her senses are way too focused on finding new depths within herself to be worried about any coldness or pain.

She would usually study him, tease him, look for new ways to pleasure him as they join into one, but not today.

For the second time today she’s out of self-control, so she grips and scratches his body with her nails before anchoring one hand on his neck for stability, allowing her to crash against him even harder.

Then again, Kaidan doesn’t mind not being taken in such consideration as usual, and is just focused on taking in the whole experience.

Her body lowers, seeking for him, and as she speeds the pace, she kisses him with more need than ever, panting, moaning and screaming while she repeats the action countless times, mixing all of this with playful bites to his lower lip or to his jaw.

The rhythm rises to a new high, as does the strength she uses to ram against him. 

Her cries, intelligible for a moment, get high enough to travel to another galaxy, intertwining with his own into a loud melody, before losing all their power, giving way to a collection of way too intense moans to be audible as she reaches new peaks of pleasure.

She comes first.

He is second.

And then she comes again, as a direct response of feeling and seeing him reach his climax.

Her entire body falls on top of him, struggling to breathe, fighting all the pleasure that builds in her body as it begs her for a hat-trick. 

Kaidan hugs her with all his strength, taking a few seconds to recover before being able to talk.

“You okay?”

She feels his words caressing her neck, sending an electric wave though her body.

“Shepard…”

The voice gets muffled, distant even, her brain doing her best to regain control of her body.

“Shepard.”

And just like that, reality hits her.

She raises her head for the first time in many minutes.

“You okay?”

Garrus stares at her with a preoccupied look on his eyes and, after seeing her shaking her head a couple of times, he starts to fear the worst. 

“Look at us…” Admiral Raan intervenes, being able to do so thanks to the unprecedented silence that invades the room now that all eyes are fixed on Shepard. “Complaining and arguing with each other, while the commander was almost blown up by admiral Gerrel just now, after we don’t know how many missions without rest.” 

The worry in most of their eyes, turns now to shame, thinking that Shepard’s disconnection from the meeting is due to being tired. 

“We should end the meeting now that we have exposed our problems.” Tali adds, displeased with her part in all of it. “You’ll have more than enough to make a choice.”

She tries her best, in vain, to remember anything said in the good 20 minutes she blacked out of reality.

She moves a little to gain time, developing a thoughtful expression as she pretends to consider whatever she’s supposed to while everyone in the room stares at her, expecting an answer to a question she cannot remember, while she does a remarkable job at faking that she does.

But she doesn’t fool Kaidan.

There’s a strange look on his face for a moment, not understanding the situation at all, but once he notices that she needs help he doesn’t hesitate to act.

“So, to sum up…” The attention of the entire room moves now to him, relieving Shepard of said pressure. “We mainly have two options: going to rescue admiral Korris or going to hack the geth mainframe Legion told us about.”

“Okaaaayy…” 

She says slowly, with all the gears in her brain working at full capacity while she analises this information. 

“I need to look… More, into these considerations. And you are perhaps right, admiral, in me and my crew needing some time before heading to the next mission. I will ask, then, for a…”  There’s an imperceptible pause there, fearing they had sended the information already.  “New… Updated reports, of both you and Legion, with any possible changes during our break. If we all agree that would be all.” 

Everyone looks at her, quite content with the decision and the overall ending of the meeting.

She can overhear a “done” from Legion, who has already sent the actualized information to her as everyone starts to leave.

“Well I…”  Raan stops on her way out. “I’ll need… Fifteen, perhaps twenty minutes.” She says, not really knowing how to react to the geth’s speed in their task compared to hers.

“Don’t worry, take your time.” Shepard gives her a tired smile.

The geth are the last to exit, except for the two of them. 

She’s still in the same position she’s had for most of the meeting, resting most of her weight against the clear wall.

After a second of enjoying the longed for silence that finally comes back to the room, he gets closer to her.

“You okay?”

“Hum…” She replies, in a higher pitch than her usual, letting her head rest against the wall.

“You sure?”

He takes another step, narrowing even more the distance between them.

“Yeah… Distracted, that’s all.” She clarifies.

“What about?” There’s no hint of playfulness or teasing in his face as he says this, completely oblivious to what Shepard’s just been through. “You can tell me.”

She smiles, breathes little and lets him know the depths of her current feeling with a single word.

“Later.”

The memory of their many innuendos in the last few days manifest themselves on his mind to the sound of it, causing a deep smile on his face followed but a low giggle.

“Really?” Kaidan half asks in awe. “Now?”

Shepard moves her hand to point herself, using her own uniform to explain the origin of the shaking that ended up causing the avalanche.

“You have an unbutton…” 

They lock eyes for a moment, completely lost in each other, before the moment is broken by a sound at the door.

“Later.” She states, while Legion enters the room.

He takes a second before nodding back at her, taking the opportunity to let her see how he clasps the undone button of his uniform before leaving the room, a deep smile invading his face as he states his own goodbye.

“Later.” 

-------------------------------------------

#mass effect #commander shepard #shenko #kaidan alenko #shepard x kaidan #fshenko #mass effect 3 #femshep x kaidan #fanfic #EDI play careless whisper

[thestobingirlie]

Honestly, with Eddie Munson, I think they were taking steps towards him accepting people from other social groups. (Eddie apologizing for Steve for judging him because he was a rich jock and saying that he's a good dude) But that isn't enough. It kinda leaves Eddie's "not all jocks are evil" arc hanging. And like all they would have needed is ten seconds with Lucas. Maybe instead of the Dustin and Eddie scene, they did an Eddie Lucas one and they have Eddie apologize to Lucas for not pushing back the game. Eddie is interesting in that he is very judgemental and that's not really often explored in fics.

yeah, i totally agree, i think eddie’s arc was supposed to be about him learning not to shut himself off and judge others etc, it just ended up falling short, like a lot of st4 did (eddie’s coward arc). and i so wish we’d gotten a conversation between eddie and lucas!! that definitely would’ve changed my mind on how well that aspect of his character was written. though it’s debatable on whether the fandom would still just ignore it.

the fandom seems to have a major issue with recognising any kind of complexity in the characters. eddie is the outsider so obviously he was horrifically bullied, and such a good person. when we don’t really see anyone but jason bother him, and even then that’s after eddie has stood up on a table and berated the rest of the cafeteria. eddie’s a super super senior and the school drug dealer, i doubt people want to mess with him.

back to the main point though, i think the season just having eddie and dustin bond, and basically ignoring his relationships with the rest of the kids is really where it failed. they wanted to recreate the dustin/steve dynamic, and so ended up shoving lucas off the the side, when lucas and eddie would have a much better relationship that would work incredibly well with both of their arcs. even with steve, i think that arc fell short. i mean, we have eddie admitting that he judged steve without knowing him, and then it goes nowhere, because the duffers wanted him to matchmake steve and nancy instead. eddie’s character and arc is just a prime example of how s4 falls short compared to other seasons

#stranger things #eddie munson #asks #anon

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Greetings,

I was curious about additional thoughts on romance in Twisted Wonderland. Most of the analyses you have seem focused on how characters would react to a Yuu-sona/the MC, but what about character/character ships? Are there any such ships you think would make sense or be realistic to the characters? I'll admit to being a big fan of the Sebek/Silver ship, but like with most ships in twist there doesn't seem to be too much evidence for it in-game that a fic writer could lean on.

I want to point out that the vast majority of writing requests I receive from my audience are romantic in nature (typically involving a self-insert or the equivalent to a Yuu/Yuusona). A significant of part the non-writing request asks I receive also speak about Yuu’s relationship with various TWST boys in a romantic sense. Because of this, the romantic situations/dynamics I am asked to speak about and give my thoughts on will naturally also be in relation to Yuu, as this is a reflection of what my audience wants to hear me discuss.

It isn’t that I don’t personally want to discuss canon character x canon character ships or platonic Yuu-canon character relationships, it’s just that it’s (comparatively) not something I am frequently asked about.

As I’ve mentioned a few times before on this blog, I don’t feel too strongly about most TWST ships (I think they all offer their own interesting dynamics to explore), but I can understand why others are into particular ones. People can ship whatever they want (regardless of how “realistic” it is or not) because that’s their business, not mine 😅

Personally, I choose to view the interactions between the TWST characters and each other (and Yuu) as platonic, as I am not someone who is interested in shipping for the sake of romance, but moreso on the entertainment value I get from watching the characters play off of one another (which isn’t something exclusive or unique to romance). Because I myself don’t go out of my way to seek out interactions that could be perceived as romantic (and nor do I focus my own TWST experience on romance), I don’t really care one way or another how “realistic” a ship is or how much “sense” it makes. To me, it’s all fiction so the “realism” or the “sense” of it doesn’t matter. 

Whether a romantic relationship dynamic exists or doesn’t is entirely up to individual perception. What one person sees as a platonic canon interaction between two characters, another could see as romantic. (This is also true of canon character x Yuu/Yuusona ships; ie a lot of people think Malleus is in love with Yuu, while I believe that their relationship is purely platonic.) For example, some may just see Silver and Sebek as close friends and colleagues, and others (like the Anon that submitted this ask) may prefer to ship those two. Ace constantly dunks on Deuce in the canon, but this teasing could be taken by some people as “picking on the kid you have a crush on”. Rook often speaks in a way that can easily be interpreted by others as romantic, but whether it is serious flirting or just a quirk of his character is left up to the player to determine for themselves. There are countless other examples I could think of, but I’ll cut it short here for brevity’s sake.

Literally any and all canon interactions and dialogue exchanges between characters could be interpreted as romantic subtext depending on the fan viewing the content and what tropes they gravitate to. Even hateful interactions (ie Leona and Vil, Riddle and Floyd, etc) can be called romantic if spun a certain way in the minds of some fans (because that could potentially fuel “enemies/rivals to lovers”). Furthermore, if you’re already inclined to certain tropes (ie “childhood friends”) or really like certain ones, you will most likely pay more attention and be more responsive to it when it shows up, even if there is nothing immediately romantic about it (Trey and Riddle are childhood friends; therefore, people inclined to the childhood friends trope may perceive their relationship as being romantic). Again, it just comes down to individual perception.

Another thing I want to add in is that you don’t necessarily NEED canon to agree with you or for there to be “evidence” in order to ship characters. You don’t need to “lean” on canon to create anything. You just need your own thoughts and ideas--that’s it. You can ship the characters with characters they’ve literally never met before. You can ship the characters with characters from an entirely different franchise. That’s just the beauty of fiction; you have the freedom to express yourself and to explore many avenues, and you don’t need to always adhere to the canon or to build off of canon lore in your creations. Make the ship content that you want; no one ever said that there had to be evidence for said ship or else it’ll be instabanned from the internet or something 😅

#twst #twisted wonderland #canon x canon #Yuu #twst x reader #disney twisted wonderland #advice #notes from the writing raven #question #Silver #Sebek Zigvolt #Leona Kingscholar #Vil Schoenheit #Riddle Rosehearts #Trey Clover #Ace Trappola #Deuce Spade #Rook Hunt #Floyd Leech #Malleus Draconia

[winter-literature]

LawLight Polls - Opening January 25, 2024

Please note: this is the starting of the new poll thread. This can be considered a repost of the final re-blog on the initial Lawlight Polls thread. [With additional information at the bottom]

After facing several blockades, I am happy to announce that we are FINALLY KICKING OFF - and things are going to look different.

There will be ONE work vs. work to start off the polls.

The Longfic Lawlight MVPs

The Sweet Taste of Silver by LumiOlivier (Tumblr: @lumiolivierlithium) vs. Passengers by Pyreneese (Tumblr: @pyreneese)

Poll Open Date: January 25, 2024

Special Hashtag: #WintersLawlightBible

Thank you both for interacting/agreeing to participate! Both of your works were fantastic and deserve all the recognition in the world.

Additional big thank you to all authors who replied. I was going to try to find a way to include each other who gave permission/interacted a work vs. work poll - but INSTEAD, I will just be ensuring that they are showcased in the polls yet to come.

As a general reminder, don't be a dick. Fanfiction author's work for free. Read them, give them some love, they are both amazing stories and deserve all the praise in the world.

Read below: Future Poll Introduction/questions that no one asked, but I'm answering anyway

What will the polls look like in the future?

I have changed the format so that the polls will focus on Lawlight tropes. Each poll will have my own recommended Fan Fics in that category, and I will invite others to showcase any stories that they recommend in either of the tropes.

For example:

Politician Light vs. Detective Light

L played a character to trick Light vs. L is exactly the unkempt genius he portrays himself to be

Yotsuba Arc vs. Alternate Universe

This way we can include short fics and longfics all in one. It doesn't require me to have to review and search for tropes in each story (as long as I know the ones that I've read myself) (this is so I don't get overworked again and die).

***To avoid any possibility of thinking that the polls are merely a circular way of comparing two specific works, my own suggestions will always include as many as possible. They are to be used as reference, not as a "one or the other". ***

This was, in my opinion, the best way to respect the majority of author's works and wishes.

From my experience of myself and speaking to other fanfic author's, the idea of people talking about and recommending their fanfic is awesome, but the idea of using it as a competition is unnecessary stress or possible other ick feelings.

From hereforth, I will do my best to have as many discussions and recommendations about Lawlight fic as possible in ways that makes everyone as happy as possible!

How will my fanfic recommendations be included in the polls?

This may change around. When I first had the idea, I wanted to make an indexed list. - obviously when you go on A03 there are tropes and you are able to look things up yourself. However, I wanted to make an index that would help with the themes we might have a hard time explaining.

Such as, "L is playing a part vs. L is actually the weirdo he is as displayed in the show".

All this to say, I want to save them and make record of them, but I don't know how well an actual indexed concept would work. So then - I introduce - HELLO IT WILL BE A MESS BUT I WILL SHOWCASE THEM TO MY BEST ABILITIES.

For each trope, any recommended Fanfictions that came in, they will all be shared along with the final poll Re-Blog.

This will be lined up fairly simple. Trope 1: [List underneath] Trope 2: [List underneath]

What is even the point of your recommendations if others are expected to also share their favourites in that trope?

*huff*. Well - my recommendations will be up there for the polling period in hopes to get the gears rolling.

I feel like after all of this work and reading if I didn't share some of my favourites it would be weird.

I'm an author and I want to recommend my Lawlight fan fiction to be included?

THIS IS IMPORTANT TO ME.

If you are an author and you want your work showcased in ANY of the polls, just reblog this post, or make a post and tag me in it (with the WintersLawlightBible hashtag) saying that you wrote a fanfic and include the link. As long as it is A03, I will read it and include it into as many themes as I find possible.

(Also, if you shared it, and was like - actually, my story also fits in this theme too, but you seemed to miss it. Let me know and I'll add it again.)

I want this event to be something that helps A03 authors.

What can I do to make this work better so everyone can see the most fanfictions as possible?

Leave Kudos and kind comments on the authors works.

Respond/Re-blog with any suggested tropes you may have.

Closing Thoughts

I am excited to start moving forward, hopefully we can turn this stress case of a project into something fun!

I am already working on scheduling the next polls and compiling the proper recommendation lists.

I won't have a set schedule because a roller coaster has less ups and downs than I do - but I will aim to do around one a month.

WOOOT LET'S DO THIS.

#winterslawlightbible #lawlight #death note #death note fanfiction #deathnote fanfiction #deathnote fan fiction #lawlight fanfiction #lawlight fan fiction #death note polls #deathnote polls #lawlight polls #fan fiction #fanfic #a03 #a03 fanfiction #lawlight recommentations #trope wars

[theminecraftbee]

How do you start writing fanfic? I kinda want to give it a go

oh, interesting question! the easy answer is "just start writing" - i have an idea and i just start writing it. but that's probably not useful for everyone! so here are some things that might help!

get an ao3 account. if you don't already have one, see if a friend has a free invite link, and if not, be prepared for the fact the queue is sometimes like two weeks long before you'll get your invite email. having an ao3 account will help you post your fanfics, but if you use bookmarks better than i do, will also help you keep track of what you're reading! speaking of...

figure out what kinds of stuff you like to read! this won't always be the same as the kind of thing you like to write, but it'll probably be similar, and reading things you like will help you write things you like because you'll pick up on some of the elements of what you read, whether you are trying to or not.

set realistic goals for yourself! your first fanfic will not be perfect, especially if you've never written anything before. it will, however, be something you're proud of, as long as you don't expect to be a genius the first time you write! in addition, i'd say "don't try to write a longfic as the first thing you write, write something shorter", because it's a lot easier to lose motivation while writing a long thing than it is while writing a short thing.

(genuinely, practice and read things. gotta emphasize those. also don't compare yourself to other people who have been writing for ten years if you've only been writing for two weeks, you aren't being fair to yourself then!)

then come up with an idea! i recommend choosing a character you read/watch a lot for who you write the first time; choose one of your favorite guys, yeah, but choose your favorite guy you watch all the time, not your favorite guy you only rarely see. this will also make writing them easier.

as for what idea to come up with... can't help you there, but that's where "learn what kind of stuff i like to read" and "practice" will start making it easier! if you have ever gone "man i wish x existed" or "that idea for an au sounded cool but there's nothing written for it" or "this part of canon that i wish had a bit more about it"... do that!

some people are better at planning than others. i, personally? not good at planning. i normally scrawl out, at best, a list of events that need to happen, and then change my mind halfway through writing. half the time though i'm like "i know where i want this to start, i know what i want this to do, i know how i want it to end, i will make up the rest as i go" and i just start writing. for some people, this is fine - don't force yourself to do mega planning if that'll stop you from actually writing.

however, if a LACK of plan stops you from writing, like i said, i personally find that planning by coming up with the major 'set pieces'/'moments' i want the fic to have and connecting those together helps. idk you may want to ask someone else how to plan if you don't know.

then, as i said before... just start writing! i find external arbitrary deadlines help motivate me, but those may stress you out, so you don't have to do that part. just writing is enough!

don't feel bad if you scrap stuff and start new stuff and don't finish stuff for a while - everyone does that.

i personally recommend waiting until you finish a thing to post it to ao3 because i lose motivation once a fic is posted and having the goal of "actually publish it" helps force me to finish what i'm writing but not everyone is this way; if you think posting and getting feedback is more helpful for you, do that!

uh, finally, ignore the numbers. like, okay, i'm not saying "i want attention and validation" is bad because yeah, i do want attention and validation. that's part of why i post things online. i DO mean that you should ignore the hit counter entirely, not compare the kudos counter to other fics, and cherish each comment, no matter how many of them there are, you know?

not sure how helpful this long list of advice is, but i hope it helps a little!

#answered #backfrommarsagain

[metalbvcky]

Answer the questions and tag five fanfiction authors you know!

tagged by @sarahowritesostucky, thank you lovely!! 💖💖 no pressure tagging: @late-to-the-party-81 @sparkagrace @bittersweet-in-boston @otpcutie @apple-writes

🍓 How did you get into writing fanfiction?

I feel like that's asking "how did you join Tumblr" it just happened 😂

🍇How many fandoms have you written in?

One, technically, which is nothing compared to others but I enjoy exploring my ideas with the MCU and its characters. I'm not sure I'd get the same feeling with other fandoms, like say, supernatural.

🍈How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

It'll be four this summer. Again, not long, but considering I denied myself as being a writer for several years? That's progress and growth.

🍎Do you read or write more fanfiction?

It depends on the muse and all sorts of other things. Sometimes I'm punching out oneshot after oneshot, while other times I'll be focused on a longfic and will read in between and stuff. Like currently!

🍌What is one way you've improved as a writer?

Writing more. Reading more. Writing more again. But also letting go of sticking to a strict outline. I'm a planster. I'll plan the major things, but everything else is made up as I go.

🍑Do you have any bad habits as a writer?

I'll often start or continue writing a scene and will find myself stuck, thinking it's the end of the world, and then realize my whole issue is a few lines above what I'm trying to make work. Happens so often you'd like I would be used to it by now.

🍍 What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I don't know about weird, but I've been doing a ton of medical research for my future doctor/patient AU. I've searched around for all sorts of things lol even for a sentence that I'll likely not end up using.

🍉What's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

Keyboard smashes. Long detailed comments about the plot/relationship/pining/etc. Comments that mention a tiny detail I included, those are the best when people notice them. But also, any comment.

🍐What's the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

Crack fics? I don't think I write a lot of outlandish stuff, at least I wouldn't consider them to be 😂

🥭What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Uhhh... *stares blankly at my open doc* Ones with big plot. I love it, it makes the story even more fun to write, but MAN plot can be tricky. Catch me saying "Did everyone see that? Because I will not be doing it again" like Captain Jack Sparrow when I finish a longfic, and then immediately start planning another one to write.

🍏What is the easiest type?

Short oneshots with hardly any plot. Which isn't often because almost everything I write ends up being longer than I anticipated.

🍑Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

Docs. I used to use Smartedit Writer and organize by chapters, but ehhhh I just throw ideas onto a separate doc and go from there. Why plan extensively when my characters will do a 180 on me all the time? And almost always at night, sometimes during the day when time/the muse allows me.

🍋What is something you've been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

I was just thinking about this recently. I have never written a post TWS recovery fic. It's on my 'to write' bucket list, so I hope to tackle a lengthy canon fic one of these days. I love reading canon fics where they're on missions and the plot is centered around HYDRA or some other big bad, I feel like those are trickier to write than AUs. But everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, and I know coming up with detailed worlds/world building isn't a walk in the park for some.

🍇 what made you choose your username?

I didn't know what to name my Marvel sideblog when I was making it so... I just decided Bucky + metal arm + aw crap that name is taken = Metalbvcky 🤣

#tagging games #writer games #mandy talks and stuff

[kvetchinglyneurotic]

For the director’s cut thing, do you want to share just generally how you came up with the idea for The Hedgehog’s Dilemma and if the story changed from your first idea?

Despite the fact that THD is set in season 1, the initial idea actually came from the Wembley hug scene and particularly comparing it to Jamie's reaction to his dad's abuse in 1x10. I figured that a) his ability to put himself back together after these types of incidents probably historically relied on no one witnessing or really acknowledging what had happened, and b) my issues with the way that Wembley was addressed after the fact in the writing aside (ie that it wasn't addressed at all), in universe, the fact that being forced into this moment of extreme vulnerability in front of basically everyone he knows didn't make him lash out or withdraw is a testament to the progress he'd made as a person. Which led me to the question at the heart of THD: how would Jamie have reacted to a similar incident in season 1, when he's still prickly and defensive and doesn't have much by way of actual friends on the team?

The other major part of the fic is the flashbacks. James, Georgie, and Jamie's relationship in this fic was essentially the product of me trying to fit everything we find out about them into a cohesive whole, and a surprisingly big part of that was finding an explanation I liked for the strange set dressing in his childhood bedroom: asides from the Keeley poster, which he probably got in his mid-late teens (she would have started modelling when he was 12-13 but probably didn't become popular enough to have posters available for another couple of years), it looks like the room of a fairly young child. The THD version of Jamie's backstory isn't like. my one definitive take, though there are some I will die on this hill, going to be part of the backstory in anything I write elements. (I won't get into it now because this answer is long enough, but I'm always willing to ramble about my Jamie backstory takes if anyone wants to hear them).

As for how it evolved... After I published the initial one-shot, I wrote chapter 2 to wrap up some loose ends by establishing that Jamie didn't get sent back to Manchester and showing him reconnect with Georgie, but I figured since I was already writing the chapter and he needed time to recover from the concussion in-universe, I might as well also write about him rebuilding this relationships with the rest of the team and with Nate. Chapter three was supposed to be a short epilogue about Jamie taking care of Roy after his knee injury, but that got me thinking about James coming to see the final match of the season and Jamie having to tell him he was transferring to Richmond, and it spiraled from there. And then the epilogue also spiraled and became Flightless Birds, which just hit 20k.

#asks #ask games #thank you! #fic: the hedgehog's dilemma #series: symbiosis #when you try to write a one-shot and instead turns out to be 80k #my initial projection for flightless birds was 30k total but uh. that seems unlikely #kvetch oc