#i think this has been giffed but i wanted to make my own version

[insert-content]

a summar(ule)y of 196 culture

since the tumblr veterans have been kind enough to introduce us newbies to their site and culture, i think it is only fair that we explain the culture of our glorious former home to any tumblr users who might be interested in the #196 tag. keep in mind, all these things are based on my perspective of the situation.

first of all, some general information (that you might’ve already heard):

196 (r/196 on reddit) was a subreddit with only one (official) rule; "post before you leave." it was mainly a meme/shitposting sub, but it cultivated a large queer and left-leaning community. in protest of the recent api chances in reddit, 196 has shut down indefinitely until reddit reverts these changes.

now for some culture/references that you might come across

spronkus kronkus:

spronkus is this yellow, rabbit-like creature.

they were the mascot of our subreddit. their appearance can vary from images to image, but as far as i’m aware, their full outfit consists of a bandanna in the colours of the trans flag around their neck, a gun labelled as such (other wise you obviously wouldn’t know what you’re looking at), and an axe also coloured like the trans flag.

r/place:

this is a rare event on reddit where the entire website gets a huge white canvas and can start creating pixel art on it. 196 participated by collaboratively creating our mascot, spronkus with "196!" written next to them.

this version of the pixel art was recreated by me as i couldn't find a nice image of it. there were some changes between the first version and the end result, so this might not be exactly how it looked in the end

post titles/"rule":

reddit forces it's users to title every post they make. as most of the posts on 196 spoke for themselves, many user instead titled their posts "rule", to indicate that they followed the subreddit's only rule. some people also tried to make puns with the word or tried to include it in words that shared some letters (example: wor(ule)d).

anarcho-stripperism:

as the amount of cropped porn jokingly posted to the subreddit increased, the moderators decided that porn would be banned from the sub, with one exception: anarcho-stripperism. she made food fucking videos, in which she jokingly tested the fuckability of different food items (fruits, pasta, etc.)

bigotry showcase:

bigotry showcase was a post flair (basically the reddit equivalent of tags) on the subreddit and was later restricted to only be used on saturdays. under this flair people posted instances of different forms of bigotry to make fun it.

eating babies/hungryposting:

at some point, the subreddit started to pretend to like eating babies, which started a variety of memes regarding the subject. even a post flair called "hungrypost" was added because of this

goblinhog:

goblinhog is the most prominent and well-known member of the 196 moderation team. besides this, on 196 he was mostly known for changing people’s flair if you enjoyed him enough about it.

flairs:

flairs are little tags that are displayed under your name in posts or comments, they are also subreddit specific. most subreddits give their users a palette of preset flairs and the option to make your own custom flair. however, in 196 you only had the option to customize your flair during special events. if you wanted to customize your flair outside of those events (which was basically the entire time), you had to ask a mod to do it for you.

punching nazis:

from time to time, the same gif of a person with a nazi armband getting punched in the face, and promptly falling to the ground, was reposted to the subreddit. this became a sort of tradition.

discourse/drama

wasp discourse:

the wasp discourse was a one to two weeks long heated discussion that generally divided the subreddit into two factions. one side said that they were justified in killing wasps if they were attacked by them, while the other claimed that since wasps are just animals, they aren't aware of what they're doing in the same way humans are, and therefore should be spared.

drama about the british:

there was a time when jokes along the lines of "ew, british" became pretty frequent on the subreddit. as a response, some user claimed that this was akin to racism and tried to get others to stop with the jokes. a debate over whether or not it was important or necessary to stop followed afterwards.

pillar discourse:

this was a debate over which type of pillar should be considered the best (ionic; doric; corinthian). i have seen the question "which pillar is the best?" being used as a sort of greeting between 196 refugees on here.

related subreddits

195:

195 was the predecessor to 196, and also was a social experiment with the same premise as 196 (one rule, post before you leave). as the creators of 195 ended the experiment, the community wanted something with the same vibe to continue posting, and thus 196 was born.

197:

197 is another part of the 196 ecosystem and is commonly understood to be the more politically right-leaning and bigoted as 196, as some people who were banned from 196 continued posting there. besides that, the subreddits were essentially the same in terms of how they functioned.

19684:

this subreddit adds a second rule which banned all mentions of sex (that’s why it’s name is a pun on 1984). some people took this as banning all discussion of sexuality, which resulted in a community that was slightly less accepting of queer people. it is currently still up and running as the 196 moderation team wants a way to stay in contact with the community.

amendments to the posts:

u/femboy_expert:

another well-known 196 user. as the name suggests they're an expert on the subject of femboys, with their flair on 196 reading "phd in feminine boys". as the subreddit was somewhat obsessed with femboys, it's no wonder that they became popular.

u/shitcum_backup:

this was the main account of a pretty popular shitposter on the subreddit. although i didn't see them as much in the last few months, i remember them sometimes having a unique speaking pattern, in which they referred to themself in the third person.

u/monko74:

this user commented "Every day I thank god for not making me a r/196 celebrity," which led to many users of the subreddit treating them like a micro celebrity. there are even a few subreddits solely dedicated to u/monko74.

691:

a sister subreddit that inverts the rule of 196, here you would be (temporarily) banned for posting. some time ago the members of this sub initiated a rebellion/revolution against the bot who performed all the bans (roomba).

u/Smart_Calendar1874:

this wasn’t necessarily part of the subreddit, but it was a pretty popular meme. and since it’s getting posted on here again, and i know enough about it, i’ll add it to the post. this user made a post to r/AskReddit titled "How would you get a small cylinder (5.1in length, ~4.5in girth) unstuck from a mini M&Ms tube filled with butter and microwaved mashed banana? [sic]" it was pretty clear that they were referring to their penis, yet they continued to claim "it’s a cylinder," in the comment section. this lead to comments like "it is imperative that the cylinder […] remains unharmed," in response to people’s advice of cutting the m&m tube.

it's going to be very interesting to see which aspects of 196 culture are going to survive the tumblr migration, and which aspects won't be applicable on this site.

i'm obviously not the ultimate scholar on 196 lore. if i’ve missed or left out anything, or said something wrong, please comment it.

#196 #spronkus kronkus #r196 #r/196 #196archive #tumblr migration #rip 196 #196 campfire #196 migration

[thewriterg]

𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞

paring(s): Miles Morales x fem!reader, Miles morales x spidey!reader

summary: you were two months pregnant and it was only a matter of time before you had to stop hiding the child growing inside you and tell your boyfriend miles little did you know he has his own surprise for you as well

word count: 1.3k

request: Hi, can I ask for a, Miles Morales x pregnant reader please. Where reader is pregnant with Miles baby. She doesn't know how to tell him because she is skared that he's going to leave her and the baby. She doesn't realize that he knows and that he can hear the baby's heartbeat and not just hers. Just the rest love and fluf please. You can write the rest however you want. If you can do this thank you, if not that is ok.

warning(s): pregnancy, some tears, hormones, kisses, pet names, just a pinch of perinatal depression, I’m thinking this can be college-ish set, pet names, fluff, drinking while pregnant (a glass of wine is okay!), and language

A/n:—GIFs; @dailymilesmorales— I had to set my little angst whore brain aside for this and kept rewriting to make sure it was more happy than sad

Miles watched You in awe as you lied in bed staring at the feeling you were glowing under the late sunlight that seeped through the curtains of your shared bedroom Your was shiny, your nails were growing out, and your skin

that damn skin

“Hey love, I’m gonna go out on patrol for a little while” Miles had brought himself to your side of the bed down on both knees to get down to eye level with you as you let out a small breath before replying

“Okay, I’m sorry I can’t go with you” You felt beyond guilty for lying to your boyfriend this long he’d been taking up your shifts to patrol the city and holding you tight when you needed the comfort

What you had been telling him hadn’t necessarily been a lie you were feeling sick and the running to the bathroom every morning at the crack of dawn for the past two weeks was enough to prove it but you weren’t really telling him or anyone for that matter the full story

“Don’t apologize, ill be back soon okay?” Miles reassured you with that warm smile of his pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose as you nodded and soon enough the brunette was out the door on the way to protect the city

You finally decided to get up heading to your bathroom as you ducked to the cabinets level pushing aside the cleaning supplies and razors to wear two individually wrapped pregnancy test lied flat

You had already took some plenty actually that had all gave you the same results in someway

Two pink lines

or a

blue positive

You unwrapped them both carefully making sure not to tamper with anything even though deep down you knew it was true and that you were pregnant

You sat on the toilet as you went through the process you had many times before as you found yourself staring at the wall waiting as the timer on your phone silently ticked away the remaining time left

You would be more than overjoyed if you didn’t have the voice in the back of your head taunting and chastising you for even hoping Miles would stay with you and raise your baby together why would he you’ve been together merely four years your anniversary was three months from now

Or it would’ve been. Your little family would’ve been something breathtakingly beautiful.

You stared at yourself in the mirror a hand over your belly you weren’t showing but nonetheless it was a little version of you growing inside it and it made your heart squeeze in your chest

You slipped off your clothes and turned the knob to the hot water of your shower to sweep your thoughts clean you would tell Miles when he got back from patrol and would take care of your baby on your own if it came down to it

💌💌💌💌

Miles didn’t know what to do.

It was around two to three weeks ago that he heard something out of the ordinary, way out the ordinary.

He was lying next to your sleeping figure with an arm thrown across your hip draping over your stomach when he heard little rhythmic beats in the drums of his ears usually yours sounded more… lively and vibrant these ones were soft and dainty

Miles listened a little harder and he could hear both beats at the same time lively, vibrant, soft and dainty finally the realization had took his breath away

He was going to be a dad

you were going to be a mom

you had a family

Miles was so close to waking you up to engulf you whole and prepare kisses around your face but he settled you must have been tired carrying around the news of having a child growing inside you and maybe you wanted to surprise him he didn’t want to ruin that for you or himself so he waited

And waited

And waited

Now it was two weeks later and Miles was still trying to let you tell you on your own he tried to gently encourage you with warm smiles and checking up on you more than he usually would to the point where he thought it was overbearing

The only reason the man knew you were aware is when he offered you a glass of wine your favorite wine and all you did was take a sip leaving the cup deserted

The only reason Miles would confront you tonight is because he was simply worried for you and the baby’s health you hadn’t been to the doctor and the brunette didn’t want to wait too long to go

So he swung to the corner shop leaving with a dozen of white roses and some of your favorite snacks you enjoyed in a bag waiting to get home to you

💌💌💌💌

You sat on the couch your leg bouncing up and down in anticipation as you waited for your boyfriend to come back home you had six pregnancy test on tucked under your thigh playing with your hands in your lap

You finally heard the window beside you as you watched your boyfriend climb through the window of your home his suit skin tight on his body book bag residing on his back

you would miss seeing him like this

“Hey… how was patrol?” You questioned timidly and Miles would be lying if he said he weren’t surprised to see you out of bed

“Hi lovie it was good, calm surprisingly.” The boy responded as he sat on the couch next to you sliding the straps of his bad off his shoulders

“I got something for you”

“I got something for you”

You both chuckled at your in sync comment as you nodded for Miles to continue he didn’t speak he just reached in his bag before pulling out a bouquet of white roses and some of your favorite snack you had been eating on the last few weeks

“Thank you baby, your so thoughtful” The lump in your throat was more prominent that ever as you zoomed in on the feeling of the plastic test under your thigh

“Now what’s my surp-” Miles sentence was cut short as you shoved the test in his lap some facing up some facing down all of the saying the same result that you were pregnant

“I’m pregnant two months, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but I-I was scared and I’m still scared and it’s okay if you want to leave I can do it by myself and-” This time you were cut short of your sobbing speech as Miles held your face In his hands his heart practically ripped in his chest as you sniffled heavy trying to keep your tears in your eyes for him to break up with you

“Oh sweetheart, im not going anywhere you hear me? I’m so glad you told me baby I’m so proud of you and I can’t wait to raise our baby together” Miles shushed you as you sobbed harder face pressed against his shoulder his suit soaking up your tears

“I’m so sorry it took me so long” You sniffled and Miles hugged you close rubbing small soothing circles on your back

“I’m just glad you told me okay? I’m so glad you told me baby” The brunette whispered running a hand over your hair smoothing it out as you began to fall asleep in his warm embrace

Miles would choose another day to tell you that he knew all this time but for now he would settle with holding you close in his arms and rubbing your belly

He held his world in his hands

#miles molares #miles morales x reader #miles morales x you #miles morales x y/n #spiderman #spiderman x reader #spider man x y/n #spider man x you #romance #fluff #fem!reader #the avengers #avengers x reader #avengers x you #i love you #thewriterg #2023

[takeme-totheworld]

Aziraphale and Forgiveness, Pt. 2: The Source of Salvation

This series is now complete! Here's where you can find the other parts.

Part 1 here. Part 3 here. Part 4 here.

(This post ended up being way longer than I intended, oopsie! And no fun GIFs to break it up this time. Hope you like reading lots of words!)

So why would Aziraphale, an angel who has not fallen despite bending/breaking the rules many times, have so much emotional baggage around the topic of forgiveness?

Some disclaimers:

Disclaimer 1: I've seen enough of tumblr already to know that "does Aziraphale really have religious trauma?/how much does it motivate his actions?" is the subject of Discourse around these parts. I don't want to have that argument here. Aziraphale's experience with Heaven has strong parallels to my personal religious history, and those specific parallels are what I'm here to talk about.

Disclaimer 2: I am not a bible scholar or religious historian, if I mention specific church doctrines or bible verses it's only to illustrate the experience of growing up in my church. My actual biblical/theological accuracy may be sloppy.

Disclaimer 3: I haven't read Good Omens the book. I know there are differences, but I'm not addressing them. All my thoughts are about show!Aziraphale and show!Heaven only.

Okay. Here goes.

The next point I want to make is that Aziraphale has spent his life inside a system that has weaponized the concept of forgiveness. Because Heaven, in the Good Omens universe, operates a lot like a particular flavor of toxic Christianity that I happen to be very familiar with.

In the version of Christianity I was raised with:

Your only purpose is to serve God's will. Our own needs, wants, goals, etc, were all understood to be secondary to that purpose.

The specter of eternal punishment is always present. Like any self-respecting Evangelical church, we believed that if you weren't "saved" before you died, you would go to Hell and be punished forever. How do you make sure you're saved? Well...

The rules are not clear or consistent, so you're always left guessing. We were a Protestant denomination, so a foundational doctrine was "sola scriptura." (We weren't fancy enough for the Latin, though, we just called ourselves "bible-based.") The basic idea is that the bible is the word of God, it's infallible, and it's the only authority we need to follow. But the bible is a cobbling-together of texts written thousands of years ago, that have been translated multiple times. It's not self-evident to a modern reader what any given passage means. It contains internal contradictions all over the place. So...the bible is the only authority we need to follow, but it's confusing and needs interpretation. Enter pastors and other church leaders to help us interpret. Only...they each have their own pre-existing biases and preferred scholarly interpretations, so even within the same church, different pastors might have different ideas about things.

So, to summarize: Follow what the bible says! Don't understand what it's telling you? Ask your pastor! Different pastors give different answers? Ugh, you're thinking about this too hard. Go pray about it or something. Just figure it out.

New ideas and experiences are, at best, begrudgingly tolerated. Because doing God's will is your only purpose, remember? And the Bible (and your pastor) are the source of the only wisdom you need to fulfill the only purpose you have. So really, you don't need anything outside what the church has to offer you and it's all a distraction anyway. (...okay, if you really must, here's a watered-down, church-approved version of the thing, now shut up.)

This isn't just the church being a buzzkill. It keeps you dependent on them and ignorant of the outside world to whatever extent they monitor and censor outside influences. My church was not even that extreme about this, relatively speaking, but it was still enough to profoundly impact me and leave me confused and floundering in the larger world after I left.

No matter how hard you try to measure up, you're ultimately at God's mercy. So you spend your life trying to follow a bunch of confusing, opaque rules in the hopes that you can be "saved" and avoid eternal punishment. But here's kicker: none of it truly matters anyway, because we were also taught that everyone falls short in the end and that the only real salvation comes from God forgiving you for your sins. All you really have to do to be saved is accept his free gift of forgiveness...by...believing the right things in the right way and praying the right prayers about it. And then spending the rest of your life still trying to follow all the convoluted rules, because doing so is proof that you were sincere...in your acceptance of God's forgiveness...which you accepted by following even more instructions regarding what to believe and how to pray to ensure that you were accepting it correctly.

How do you know if you've done any of this right? You never can, truly, until you die and find out. Because God's not actually talking to anyone. So in the end, no matter what you do, you end up in the same place: at the mercy of God, who decides whether you're forgiven or not.

If you're thinking that sounds like an incredibly confusing and exhausting way to grow up, you are correct! It also has a lot of parallels in Good Omens.

If you are an angel working for Heaven in the world of Good Omens:

Your only purpose is to serve God's will. This one is obvious. If you're an angel, it's literally the only thing you were created for.

The specter of eternal punishment is always present. The eternal punishment that can happen to an angel is falling. We know it's a punishment, because we know Crowley's fall was painful and because we can see that Hell is a miserable environment for the demons. This isn't The Good Place, where demons gleefully sit around eating snacks in conference rooms and brainstorming new fun ways to torture humans. Hell in Good Omens sucks for everyone there. And we can assume falling is meant to be permanent, because if it wasn't Crowley and Aziraphale wouldn't have been so gobsmacked by the Metatron's offer to restore Crowley to angelic status. Because there's no precedent for that. Crowley himself says that being a demon has automatically rendered him unforgivable. As far as anyone in this universe knows, "fallen" is a permanent state.

So how does an angel avoid eternal punishment? How do angels make sure they don't fall? Well...

The rules are not clear or consistent, so you're always left guessing. Was falling a one-and-done mass exile of everyone who rebelled, right after the war? The way both Heaven and Hell talk about the fall and the "casting out" of the demons would seem to suggest so. But fear of falling is obviously ever-present among the angels, so they clearly don't know for sure one way or the other. And what would cause an angel who wasn't part of the original rebellion to fall? Aziraphale thought he would fall for lying about Job's children. The archangels threatened Aziraphale with falling for "consorting" with Crowley in S1. Gabriel expected to fall for saying no to Armageddon the Sequel in S2. But none of those falls actually happened. Clearly even the angels in the highest positions of authority don't know exactly what the rules are about falling. And who decides who falls? Gabriel says the demons were "cast out" after the war, but who did the casting out? Did God handle that directly? Was it the Metatron? Did the transformation just sort of...happen, leaving everyone unsure about the details? And what about present day? The Metatron said that Gabriel would have his memory wiped instead of falling, but does that mean the Metatron gets to decide if an angel falls, or was he covering for the fact that he doesn't know how it works either?

We, the viewers, don't know the answers to any of these questions. But it's fairly clear that the angels also don't know.

New ideas and experiences are, at best, begrudgingly tolerated. The angels know little to nothing about the world or humanity and are disdainful or outright suspicious of earthly experiences. In the case of the ones who have never been sent to Earth, this makes sense, although it begs the question of why there are so many angels who have never once been sent to Earth, the planet that is supposed to be central to the Great Plan.

It's obviously, at its core, about control and keeping the angels ignorant of anything that would broaden their perspective. But listen to how the angels themselves talk about it. When Gabriel sees Aziraphale eating sushi, he asks, "Why do you consume that? You're an angel." (Subtext: You don't need to eat, so what's the purpose of indulging in this experience?) When Aziraphale suggests he try the food himself, Gabriel starts talking about sullying the temple of his body or whatever. (Subtext: It's not technically forbidden but it would be a deviation from my function as an angel so I'm suspicious of it.) And look at Aziraphale himself. He lives on Earth for many hundreds of years before he can be persuaded to even try human food, and Crowley has to work at convincing him it's okay. He seems to know it's not forbidden but he's deeply distrustful of it anyway. (I have a theory that a holdover of this mindset is why he's so set in his ways, behind the times, and still more ignorant of humans that you'd expect in the present day, but this post is already too long.) The attitude cultivated among the angels is These things are not meant for us, we don't need them, and they are a distraction from our higher purpose, so it's better if we don't.

No matter how hard you try to measure up, you're ultimately at God's mercy. So, if you're an angel, you're meant to be doing God's will, and if you fail badly enough you can be punished forever by falling. But the rules are unclear, the way falling works is unclear, in most cases you're kept ignorant of everything but the bare minimum you need to know to do your job, God isn't talking to anyone, and the (seemingly) officially appointed Voice of God is also pretty remote and mysterious most of the time.

So the only time you'll ever know for certain that you've crossed the line is once you've already crossed it, when it's too late to do anything about it. At that point, the only thing that could save you from falling would be if God just...decided to be merciful, to grant you a pardon (i.e. to forgive you) and not do the casting out thing.

Believe it or not, I had to work really hard to keep this as short as it is. If you've read this far, I salute you. Now, what's the point?

Aziraphale and the other angels are part of a system where they understand very little, they have no real power, the stakes are eternal, and their only hope of escaping endless punishment if they fail is the possibility that God will decide to show mercy and forgive them.

Yes, in the real world this is all just bullshit spread by religious leaders to scare and confuse and manipulate people into compliance and in the world of Good Omens it's actually real. But the emotional impact of feeling that confused and powerless and at the mercy of a higher authority is going to be the same. Of course Aziraphale has some Big Feelings about the subject of forgiveness. Of course it's one of his favorite things. It's not just a nice thing you do for people. It's powerful enough to rescue someone from eternal punishment when nothing else can. Powerful enough to wield as a devastating weapon by withholding it. It's a tool of control in Heaven, but it's also the source of salvation.

I was going to segue from here into what I think the specifics of Aziraphale's mindset are, but it took me so many more words than I expected just to lay out the parallels between GO Heaven and (my experience of) real-world toxic Christianity so I'm gonna stop here. Next time I'm going to dig into what I think is happening in Aziraphale's head when he forgives Crowley, and also when he does things like shelter Jimbriel (a very forgiving action, even if the words "I forgive you" don't accompany it).

#good omens #good omens meta #good omens 2 spoilers #character analysis #aziraphale #religious indoctrination #religious trauma #forgiveness #i forgive you #i'm very normal about this #this post is so long i apologize

[captainpulisic]

dont call me baby - m. mount

feedback is appreciated gif credits to owner word count : 1.4k

by the time ben has the bright idea to call you, mason is absolutely wasted. music can be heard down the street and the house might explode with how many people are packed in.  

mason can’t stop laughing at nothing in particular, the alcohol doing a number on him. he’s halfway pouring himself another shot before ben snatches it from him. ignoring the childish protest from his friend, he guides him outside for some much needed fresh air. “i think we’ve had enough, yeah?”

ben makes sure mason is settled on the curb of the sidewalk before dialing your number, begrudgingly taking the role of babysitter.  

“uh y/n, are you busy?”

“not really, everything okay?” you have to hold the phone away from your ear, trying not to get ear damage from the loud music bleeding out in the background.

“no, yeah everything is good. i just think its best if you come get mase, he’s pretty shitfaced.”

over the receiver, you hear masons slurring, “who are you on the phone with? come sit with me!” you feel silly, just hearing his voice makes your heart skip a beat. 

“its y/n”

“y/n? y/n! where is she?” you can hear the smile in his tone and it makes you weak in the knees. if only you could see how pathetically sweet he looks, eyes looking for you in every direction. 

ben must have given mason the phone because his voice is suddenly clearer than ever. “y/n?”

“everything okay, love? having fun?”

“i think so, i said i wasn’t going to drink that much but kai kicked my ass in beer pong… twice.” he mumbles the last part, quietly. “are you almost here? i need you, i miss you.”

“i miss you too, sweet boy.” you swear you can’t love him anymore than you do right now. he always gets so soft and lovey when he’s drunk, it’s your favorite version of him. “want me to take you home?”

“what a scandalous proposition, at least buy me dinner before asking me to go home with you!” he laughs at his own joke for a solid minute.

“i’ll buy you all the dinners you want, okay? i’ll be there soon.” 

you exchange ‘i love yous’ and mason hands the phone back to ben, having watched the whole conversation with amusement. and the amusement only grows when mason lets himself fall back onto the patch of sidewalk grass. he hears mason ramble about something along the lines of ‘she wants to take me home’.

“hurry, for his own good.”

when you finally do arrive, you find mason passed out on bens shoulder. quickly getting off the car, you approach them and kneel right in front of them. mason is still mumbling nonsense of ‘her’ and ‘home’, eyes glazed and sleepy. you boop his nose, affectionately. he looks extra beautiful with the streetlight illuminating his features. “hello there, handsome. let’s get out of here, yeah?”

nothing could’ve prepared you for the serious look mason gave you as his gaze landed on you. no smiles, no laughing. in an annoyed tone, “no thanks, please leave me alone.”

ben and you share a confused look. you force yourself to swallow the sadness that was creeping up in you. mason has never been so cold with you, always wanting to work out arguments instead of fighting. what could you have done to him in that fifteen minute drive to warrant such a cold attitude? you reach for his hand, “im sorry, mase? did i do something wrong?”

“i said to leave me alone.” he retracts his hand at lighting speed, making your heart feel worse than it ever has. he’s certainly never done that before. “my girlfriend is on her way and i don’t think she’ll appreciate you putting the moves on me.”

you raise an eyebrow, “mason, what are you on about?” 

“just leave.” 

you really didn’t understand what was going on. “baby, whats going on?”

“do not call me baby, only my girlfriend can do that.”

oh my, your mood does a complete 180 and now you really can’t contain your laugh. your poor boyfriend is drunker than you thought. Keeping the charade up, you reach to ruffle his hair “i’m so sorry, i had no idea you had a girlfriend.”

his reflexes are quick, trying to dodge your affectionate gestures. “you should be sorry. please- hey stop that, i know y/n will definitely get mad if she sees you playing with my hair. only she’s allowed to do that.” not even waiting for your response, he turns to ben. “is y/n almost here? i want her.”

this time, you and ben share an amused look. ben pats his back,  “she just called, said she’s almost here.”

hearing that, masons stern glare is targeted at you again. he slurs, “now you really do have to leave. y/n might be nice but she will fight you if she sees you trying to get into my pants. leave before i tell her you tried calling me baby.”

without another word, you get up and walk behind your car, hidden from masons view. giving him a couple seconds to believe that this “other girl” left, you prepare to come out of your hiding spot. when you finally do reappear, you walk up to him again, hoping the ruse will work. acting as if this is the first time you’re seeing him tonight, you kneel down again and kiss his cheek. realizing that it’s really you this time, masons entire mood shifts. he tries and fails to get up, trying to grasp your hand. “y/n!”

“hey pretty boy!” ruffling his hair, this time he leans into it. “you’re okay?”

“yeah, just a little drunk and sleepy. i really want you to take me home, not sexually just literally.”

“thats what i’m here for, baby.”

as if the word triggers some memory he was trying hard to repress, mason lets out a gasp. “y/n! you’ll never believe what just happened.”

“hmm?”

“some girl tried touching my hair and she was calling me baby and getting too close to me. i told her i had a girlfriend but she wouldn’t listen. i was properly mad but i told her you’d fight her if she stuck around.”

“oh, yeah? was she pretty? did you like her?” you know you shouldn’t take advantage of him in this state but it was just too fun to tease drunk mason. 

“no! i didn’t even look at her! i was just waiting for you to show up and trying my best to ignore her. i swear it!”

at this, ben snorted and helped you lift mason up. latching on to you, he sways you both around, promising he didn’t even pay attention to that other girl. you say your goodbyes to ben after making sure mason is properly in the car. 

halfway on the drive, mason speaks up. “where were you tonight? you should’ve come along and protected me from scary girls.”

you laugh at this.

“whats so funny?”

“nothing. just thought of me following you around, making sure no other girl touches your pretty hair.”

soon enough, you’re back home and helping him stumble in through the front door. getting him up the stairs should earn you a gold medal, setting aside the fact that he only almost slipped twice. entering your shared bedroom, you gently sit him down on the bed and begin to undress him. he hums in content when he is left in only his boxers and an old shirt, quickly being tucked in the covers by you. even in his state, he wants to tell you how much he appreciates you, how you’re his whole world.  “i love you, y/n.”

“i love you, sweet boy.” you give him a quick peck on his stubbled cheek, before changing out of your clothes and climbing into bed alongside him. immediately, he pulls you to him, nestling his face into the crook of your neck. this is heaven to you, feeling his warm touch all over you. 

you kiss him one more time, “go to sleep, love. you had a long night.”

“but i’m not even tired!” he whines, stifling a yawn.

“yes you are, mase.” lifting your hand to his hair, you begin to play with it in hopes that it lulls him to sleep. “it’s okay, i’ll stay up for a bit if you need anything.”

mason doesn’t even hear the last part of your sentence, already lost in his dreams of you.

#mason mount #mason mount x reader #mason mount imagine #mason mount fluff #mason mount x you

[skullsuited]

hawaiian party.

inspired by this song.

gif credit.

an fbh!era/college!au imagine full of angst, humor, smoking weed, hiding in a bathroom at a party & grief.

content warning: marijuana usage, mentions of disordered eating, feelings of loneliness & dealing with a parent’s death.

This was the first time you'd been out since your mother's death. Unwillingly so, and yet, here you were, hiding in your best friend's bathroom at a college party. How depressing of you.

Nadia, your best friend and Alpha Theta's starry-eyed sorority member, had practically pleaded on the phone with you to come out and 'let loose', because 'your mom wouldn't want you to rot in your dorm room, eating M&M's and watching reruns of Grey's Anatomy'.

You hated that she had a point. You hated that this was what your life had come to.

Nadia had also mentioned that a few of your other friends would be attending the party and they had, apparently, mentioned how much they 'missed you' and 'wanted to see you'.

How could you say no to them? If you turned them down, you would be stuck in the same bottomless pit of loneliness, grief and M&M's.

For Nadia, for your friends and for your mother's memory, you had decided to attend the party at her sorority. Many of the people there, you didn't know or really bothered to speak to. As you arrived, you noticed a few of your friends lingering around. Niall was talking to Michael and Luke, Liam and Calum were playing spin the bottle with a few strangers, Nadia was nowhere to be seen and Harry was up against a wall, a joint in between his fingers.

He had been the first one to make eye contact with you, to notice your presence. A smile pulled at his lips and before you knew it, he was chasing you upstairs to the bathroom, racing after you as you tried to ditch the scene.

Which is where you are now: in the bathroom, sitting against the tub with Harry sat next to you.

"You've been away." He breaks through the silence between you, taking a drag from the joint he'd been puffing at.

"Yeah." You reply quietly, eyes cast downward, tracing over the tile.

"How, um... how have you been..." He trails off, trying to find the right words.

"Coping?"

Harry looks at you now, emerald eyes overcome with worry and concern for your wellbeing.

"Not very well. I haven't really... haven't really eaten properly. I mean, you know my relationship with food is..."

"A rollercoaster. Been that way for a very long time. I know."

You sigh, unsure of what to say. Of course, Harry knew. Other than Nadia, he was your closest friend. You'd met in high school and were inseparable ever since. Your fingers twitch towards the joint he's holding, and he hands it to you, watching you take a drag from it.

"Your mum was a good person, Y/N. I know she fucked up a lot of things, but one thing she was truthful about was how much she loved you."

"Y'know, what the really fucked up part of that is?"

"What?"

"I don't believe she truly loved me. I mean, after everything she put me through, how can you call that love?"

"Everyone has their own version of love, Y/N. Whether we understand it or not, is completely up to us."

A half-hearted smile tugs at the right corner of your lips. Harry's very emotionally intelligent and opening up to him, even if it's surface level, is helpful.

As you hand him the joint, a question brews in your mind, "What do you think? About love, I mean."

Harry chuckles, taking the joint from you. "I'd like to think that love is a word for a feeling no one can truly describe. I don't believe it's conditional or should be tied down to a person, place or thing. Love, like any other feeling, should be felt freely. Love is part of the human experience."

"Okay, Professor." You grin, "Maybe you should be studying psychology, become a therapist."

"Mm," He hums, "What have you been up to? Besides hibernating."

"I'm watching Grey's Anatomy again."

"Again? Christ, this is the third time!"

"I'm almost done with Season 11, believe it or not."

"Jesus. Do you not get bored of looking at Jesse Williams?"

"Never."

"Is that all you've been doing?"

"What, is wasting away in my bed, anticipating the next time Dr. Jackson Avery is on my screen, not a healthy way to cope with the fact that my mother's dead?"

"You're passively grieving, Y/N. Hell, I don't even think you've allowed yourself to fully process."

"These things take time, H. I can't just piece myself back together."

"S' not what I'm getting at, love. I think you're pushing your grief to the side."

"Harry..."

"If you need a reminder that you can come to someone, that you're allowed to shoulder the burden with someone else, I'm happy to give you one. You can't go through this alone, no matter how hard you try."

"You know just what to say, don't you?"

"Maybe I should become a therapist. M' quite good at it."

"Well, in that case, should I open up now or let you get your PhD first?"

"Don't bother. Dr. Styles is in."

"In all seriousness? Thank you, H... for letting me just... be."

"Don't have to thank me, love. M' always here. Now, why don't we get out of here, smoke a bowl in my car and get you a cheeseburger?"

"Sounds good to me, Styles."

Harry stands, the joint he'd been holding in between his fingers had burnt out. He tosses it in the trash bin near the toilet, before holding his hand out for you to take. You smile up at him, taking ahold of it.

Exiting the bathroom, you both weave through the party and head out into the night.

If there's anything your mom would have wanted for you, it was to have someone like Harry. Harry was supportive, thoughtful. He knew you better than you knew yourself and, at times, you were grateful for that.

With death, comes life. With life, comes love.

Perhaps, Harry would open your eyes to that.

You had hope that he would. That he will.

#harry styles imagines #harry imagine #harry styles #1d imagines #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles imagine #harry angst #harry styles angst #1d imagine #harry x y/n #harry x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #fbh!era #college!au #harry fanfic #1d angst #harry fluff #harry styles fluff

[gruviaweek]

Ten years.

The first ever Gruvia Week was held in 2013. It is now 2023. Meaning, this is the 11th edition/Gruvia Week... but 10 years have passed since the creation of this blog and beloved event that’s been held on the exact same dates since the beginning (April 1st - April 7th). That’s right, the event date has never changed, never held early, nor late. To keep it this consistent and for so long is truly an accomplishment.

Thank you to all the wonderful fans that have kept this event alive for so long. It has been my pleasure to host this celebration for the last 10 years, and it’s because of you that I do so. All the dedicated Gruvia lovers deserve this. The fandom has changed a lot as time went on. People come and go. However, most notably, we have grown in more ways than one. Likewise, Gray and Juvia have gone through a tremendous amount of development in the last decade. They have confirmed mutual romantic love and a son that we have yet to meet in earthland, but still very much canon in the manga and drawn by the author (Hiro Mashima) of his own accord on multiple occasions. Despite this, we are still waiting for the day they “officially” get together. The setup and foreshadowing is there... He wants it, so Gray, confess to Juvia soon!

In the meantime, we celebrate the ship once again. Here are the official Gruvia Week 2023 prompts displayed in the image above. Just like in previous years these prompts are not complicated, but they are broad and meant to make you think. Be creative. Interpret them however you see fit. If you don’t know what a word means, look it up. Specific and basic prompts would result in different versions/entries of the same thing. That’s why Gruvia Week is so successful every year; imagination. Prompts for this event are always different every year. No repeats! See: Previous Gruvia Week editions

Those who are new to the week, unfamiliar, or would like to simply rehash, please click here to learn how to participate. Also be sure to follow the rules and guidelines. Feel free to ask questions, however please check this blog’s previous posts before submitting them. It’s possible your question could have already been answered.

Reminder: All pieces must be new. Old works will not be reblogged/included in the week. Be sure to specify the day/prompt used in your post. If you don’t have a tumblr, you can still participate. Post your work on any social media platform for that target audience. Participate anywhere; the more the merrier! However, if you’d like your work to be posted/featured here as well, be sure to submit it to this blog. Or submit the link to it (if posted on another platform such as twitter, instagram, wattpad, ao3, etc).

Reminders:

Tag your work with #gruvia week (with the space) within the first five tags.

Avoid using links in your post, as there is a chance it will not show up in the tags. Try using only five tags and no links if your post does not appear. If you must use a link, make sure it shows in the tags.

If your work contains an image or gif, make sure it’s within tumblr’s photo dimensions and size limits. Sometimes big images cause posts to not appear in tags.

It is YOUR responsibility to make sure your post shows up in the mobile and/or pc tags, so be sure to check if it does.

Gruvia Week will be held from April 1st - April 7th as always. Get ready and get creative!

Graphic/art by the wonderful and talented @goodnightlover. Thank you! ♡

#gruvia #gruvia week #gray fullbuster #juvia lockser #fairy tail #gruvia week 2023 #fairy tail 100 years quest

[thatdeadaquarius]

I have so many ideas but none of them can be put into words, all I can do is just wheeze as they come along🤣

Also remember how wordy and flowery Teyvat speech/dialogue is? ADD THAT TO THE FACT THAT TEYVAT HAS ITS OWN LANGUAGE---

Reader can understand the basic speech which is why they are so blunt (I love this idea so much 🤣) and can piece together an idea what the person is talking about.

*insert random person talking about a commission with a long ass backstory*

Traveller & Co.: *understands completely and making plans to retrieve said commission*

C!Reader: (They said they had a cart.... a bunch of hilichurls appeared... dancing?.... they want us to dance fight the hilichurls???? Dance off???)

Actual story->The person's cart got ambushed by a group of hilichurls and taunted them by dancing around it.

....... it doesnt always translate well

Also imagine Reader heaeing random names and overthinks it as a word instead of a name.

Example: Pantalone means pants in Philippine English (sorry not sorry Pantalone)

Tsaritsa??? Oh do they speak russian there??? - reader

Capitano -> captain in some countries

(I once mistake Sandrone as Sandalone and I just went "... ehh??? Standalone? Sandalone as in Sand Alone???? Sandal (Flip flops)????

Oh wait its Sandrone" ".... as in Sand and Drone??--)

-Vine Boom

VINE BOOM ANON MY BELOVED 💖❤🧡💛💚💙💜✨️✨️

Gif is me writing u anything ever:

AHFLALA FERRRALLL I STG I ALSO THOUGHT ABT THIS!! WHY U COULD ALSO BE BLUNT BC U ONLY GOT THE BASICS 💀 RIP

Man theyre written language looks so scary to learn, kinda like when I looked into trying to learn Mandarin/Japanese (and even Korean), the letters r just inherently so different i was so intimidated

And u dont even read it like left -> right like English

Omg i tried to reply to a arabic comment on my art post once, and i felt so acommplished when i finally was able to type "اشكرك (thanks)" but like, i had to put it on the OTHER SIDE OF THE TEXT BOX, LIKE ALIGN IT TO THE RIGHT INSTEAD OF HOW U KNOW ENGLISH IS INHERENTLY ALIGNED LEFT, IT WAS SO TRIPPY-

Going thru genshin life only understanding minimal words of anything anyone says is honestly how i feel like ive been playing Genshin LMAO

Those analysis videos/lore are saving a bitch's life out here

PANTALONE IS ALSO RLLY CLOSE TO SPANISH FOR PANTS I KNOW WHAT U MEANNN LOL

UR ENDLESS CONFUSION FOR SANDRONE PLEASE ANON U DIDNT EVEN GET IT RIGHT THE FIRST CORRECTION IT JUST KEPT GETTING WORSEEE 😂😭 SAME THO

That would literally be you in genshin tho, like i could easily see it being like, back to back misunderstandings 😭😭

Like u think u got it right (Oh so his name is Rex Lapis, wait what? Morax? Ok his name is Morax...?? What??? Zhongli??? WHO IS THIS MAN-)

.

JFC first they gotta have a whole different language (like u saw in game)

And ON TOP OF THAT THEY CAN TALK FOR 10 MIN STRAIGHT ABT THE WEATHER OR SOME SHIT??

No... just, no.

U quickly decide u like what little bits of language u could pick up so far, which just results in,

U guessed it, simple speech and short fragmented sentences (or broken Teyvatian)

U cant even bring urself to care when u give half the characters a heart attack and send the rest into laughing fits

No fucks given, they wanna make this extra hard on u by being wordy on top of a new language,

Yeah u dont care what comes out of ur mouth anymore

Also, since everybody is raised in Teyvat very few ppl dont know the language, which once again brings us back to ancient/older deities/creatures who have a more simplistic version/outdated version of modern language

.

Omg getting stuff mistranslated bc u cant understand it all/only keywords sounds like hell but also rlly funny

Traveler/Paimon: "Alright, yes, all is well. We will accept this comission, and depart soon."

You: "...they want us to?? Dance fight?? Hilichurls...???"

Traveler just stares at u half in pity, half trying to hide their amused smile, Paimon is giggling

The commissioner is shook bc a supposed ancient creature?? Just accepted?? Their simple commission?? And u think they want u to dance battle???

.

PLEASE U MISTRANSLATE THE HARBINGERS NAMES RIGHT TO THEIR FACES

Signora: "You shall rue the day you crossed the Fatui mortals!"

You: "Lady we don't care, just fight us."

(Signora just means 'Lady')

Signora: *offended gasp*

Traveler/Paimon trying to stifle laughter

Raiden Shogun jaw dropped a little

.

Pantalone: "What a pleasure to finally meet you traveler, and thine wonderful companions!" *little bastard smile*

You: "And it was awful to meet you, Pants."

Pantalone: 😶😧😡 "Pants?! HOW DARE YOU NOT EVEN GIVE ME THE MOST BASE RESPECT, AFTER I GREETED THEE SO KINDLY-"

.

Oh its so funny, everytime you talk about Childe you always phrase it like he's an actual child bc u thought everyone was just calling him a little kid for some reason (u dont know how Teyvat ages work, he could be for all you know!)

Not very long, but Vine Boom anon your brain >>>>

Ur ideas r so on point, i love them sm

That makes perfect sense why u could be talking blunt too, like an in world explanation really

For you, all the desserts🥰 🤲🍪🍨🍰🍮🧋🍦🍡

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

#vine boom anon ilysm #yall r so funny i cant keep up help #big brain anons #genshin impact #ask box open #genshin sagau #my asks #sagau #genshin sagau ideas #gender neutral reader #genshin imagines #please send asks #:) #<3 #genshin isekai #genshin god reader

[azquine]

Do you think Rose Tyler went through a degree of parentification with her mother?

I'm not calling Jackie a bad mother. She clearly loves Rose a TON and did her very best in difficult circumstances. She was a young woman suddenly a widow having to look after a child all on her own in the midst of her grief. Grief that she clearly hasn't gotten over as she attempts to cover over it with lines of new men and a blur of personal, televised, and printed gossip

But it is Rose who was supporting the household in the first episode we see her. Rose who has to find a job once it's been literally destroyed around her. As far as I remember it's never even considered that Jackie would take on Roses load for a bit.

Jackie likely never got a reprieve after Pete died before she was thrown straight into single motherhood, no matter how overwhelming it must have been. This is likely why she has no clue how to offer Rose a rest to get over what was a likely traumatic event. she even describes it as such on the phone (the fact that Rose is not actually in fact going through symptoms of trauma is I feel pretty irrelevant to this, though it contributes to the feeling of Roses mental state being brushed off)

Jackie's dislike for Roses 'airs and graces' from working a high end shop, the negative tone towards how the doctor changed her, even for the better, I think it all stems from the fear of Rose leaving. If Rose becomes better than what she can offer and leaves, she takes Jackie's entire world. The last reflection of Pete, a potential and invaluable source of income, and most of all simply the person she loves and cares for most. She'd have nothing but a council estate flat, friends to gossip with, media to consume, and bills to pay.

My thoughts on all this were triggered by a gif set I saw where Rose on new year's tells her mother something along the lines of 'don't stay out too late' and Jackie's reply is 'you try and stop me'. In most situations this would be the other way round. It should not be the daughter half jokingly cautioning the mother about a night out. The ease and familiarity of the exchange makes me think that this would not have been the first occurrence of this. This isn't to say that mothers shouldn't have proper nights out, my own does, but the daughter should not be the one worrying if they are being safe.

And that episode with the absorbalof (I think that's how it's spelled) where Rose comes out at the end enraged on her mother's behalf. It is completely understandable, and I would probably be EXACTLY the same, but in the context of everything else I'm thinking about, it's a bit too fitting that it is Rose coming to Jackie's defence after a bad not-quite boyfriend.

The woman who sat with Pete as he died, who Jackie uses as a single piece of comfort to pass on to her daughter? That's also Rose.

And the alternate dimension is really more Jackie's happy ending than Roses, though they both get an alternative version of the man of their dreams. But Rose loses a big part of why she chose to leave home over and over. Her monologue at the chippy pre- bad wolf shows that, although the doctor is an appeal on his own, the life of going out there and seeing the universe, making a change, is something that the loss of gets under her skin like a restless itch. And she didn't get a choice, she had to learn to deal with it.

Jackie loses nothing. It's all gain for her. She has her daughter, who she cares about most in the world, her husband, who seems more devoted and successful than he ever was in her reality, and she has the money and big house that she never got previously. She never has to learn to work through her grief without covering it, it is undone for her (though I'm sure the ghost of the 'real' Pete will still linger in her mind)

Again I want to reiterate that Jackie is NOT a bad or neglectful mother. She is incredibly and realistically concerned with Roses safety (in a way that I've only really seen RTD write). But she is a woman who has her own issues to tackle and very few resources with which to do so. Rose would have had to grow up navigating around that.

Feel free to counter or correct any of my points, or to talk about something I missed, it's been lovely to see peoples thoughts on my other rambles! :)

#doctor who #rose tyler #jackie tyler #russel t davies #9th doctor #10th doctor #pete tyler #ramble

[fleet-of-fiction]

My Truth

Allow me to introduce myself. Hi...

My name is Lucie. You might remember me from my old blog, lightmylove-gvf. It started out as a really fun, wholesome space. Full of love and laughter. I shared pictures and gif sets and works of fiction. Made so many wonderful connections with many different people. It really was a wonderful place to be. Until it wasn't. And although I've tried my best to step away from certain controversies, it seems that people still have an issue with me and still have my name in their mouth. So I'd like to take this opportunity to set the record straight. Maybe move past some untruths and you can all make informed decisions on whether you'd like to continue following me here on my current blog. Which is also a place of peace and love, I might add. And always has been.

Anyway, read on if you'd like. And if not, that's ok too.

I think it's fair to say that I've always been one of the more "controversial" writers around here. I have never shied away from difficult storytelling, and I never will. But what started out as a completely separate issue quickly snowballed into what could only be described as a personal vendetta.

I'm happy to discuss anything within my writing that might be of issue to a reader. A particular blog took offence to a scene I had written in a chapter of my fic, Backstage. I happened to disagree with this blog, and I tried my best to let them know whilst I understood their stance I did not agree with their point of view. I took this opinion to a discord server I was part of along with several other blogs here to see if they could shed more light on the issue.

The scene in question involved a fictionalised version of Josh and the reader in bed. They had gone to bed together with the full narrative of the reader known. How she was in love with him and wanted nothing more than to make love with him. They had been growing close. And Josh began to touch reader as they slept side by side. We get an insight into the readers thoughts during this moment, and they are very much with consent and enjoying the experience. It's meant to be a nod to what is to come. That their bodies are in tune with each other, even if their words are yet to speak of it. I think a lot of experiences in life play out like that. Where we don't always know what to say, but find ourselves in situations where our bodies can do the talking. Anyway, I digress...

There was a lot of opinions flying around in the server. Some were in favour of my opinion, others opposed it and were in favour of the anon who had sent me alot of hateful messages regarding their view that this scene was nothing more than sexual harassment. I explained in the server that I myself had been the victim of sexual assault/harassment. That I knew what it felt like to get into bed with someone I thought that I could trust only to have them break that trust in the most heinous way. I tried to explain that I didn't think this particular scene was that.

One sentence that I said was screenshotted and shared around with absolutely zero context to it and nothing of the rest of the conversation added to the screenshot. Just one sentence that I'd said which pertained to saying that I agreed that people should be able to get in bed with others and have full rights to their own bodies. I was AGREEING with that. It's there in black and white. But the narrative was skewed by people who didn't want to understand me. I tried to explain about how my personal experiences often lied within power imbalances when it came to things like S/H. But in the end, they gave me no chance to explain myself properly. They didn't want to. They'd seen and heard enough and made up their mind.

But it didn't stop there. People who I thought were my friends blocked me. Told me I was disgusting. Told me I was playing the victim. Because I didn't issue a grovelling apology. But how could I? I wasn't sorry. I hadn't done anything wrong. I'd poured my heart out to them about my trauma and abuse and how in my own experience I didn't view it as the same as what I'd written. I'd put trigger warnings. I'd made sure people had the right to information before proceeding!

I had blogs who had never interacted with me block me. Call me disgusting. Tell me fuck myself. I had anons telling me to kill myself. Anons telling me that I was a rapist and...for some reason...a peadophile sympathiser? I didn't deserve that. Nobody deserves that. I literally wrote two consenting adults touching each other in a bed they'd both gotten into...consentingly.... with very obvious (although unspoken at that point) feelings for each other. But now, that wasn't the issue. The issue was my own personal feelings on sexual harassment.

I'm the first to admit that I am perhaps not an easily digestable person to some. But I know that I am kind. I know that I have spent hours proof reading and editing fics for other writers on here because they asked for my help. I've supported people though personal issues, and I've championed the work of other writers because I truly believed that this space was a wonderful space for creativity. I still do, to some degree. I am not perfect, and I know that sometimes I can be a little head strong when it comes to protecting people's rights to free speech. I understand that I'm not palatable as a person to people who don't agree that the freedom to write should come with the freedom to write anything.

To those of you who never ever spoke to me and are still sharing things about me with the hash tag #fuck you lucie.... to you I say why have you jumped on that bandwagon? You do not know me. You know only what you've heard from people who were intent on pushing a narrative that was their own. Not mine. You don't know that these people were once my friends. And they shared my work and enjoyed it as I enjoyed theirs. They told me things about themselves and I was happy to know them. These people who then decided I was a terrible human being. Based on one thing I said that was taken completely out of context. It's almost as if they have shared it so many times now with their own backstory that it's a canon truth. I'm the worst human to ever walk the earth. Forget about all the good things I did for you. I'm scum.

If you're still reading this, you're probably thinking boo hoo what a victim complex. Maybe you're right. Maybe I do have a victim complex. Like everyone else here I have mental health problems and I'm on the spectrum. I have trauma. As part of my adhd I have rejection sensitivity which means when I'm cornered I tend to fight back with justifications as to why I behaved the way I did. I guess that's what I'm doing now. Trying to explain myself. Again. Although what good it'll do, I dont know. And I think right now, it no longer matters.

And yet I still see that I'm being talked about. I'm still getting accused of sending anons to other blogs when I was literally just existing here in my peaceful little corner, everyone who had ever taken issue with me blocked or unfollowed. I didn't know what was going on over there, I was trying to just enjoy reading and writing. My anxiety could never cope with sending a hateful anon, I know there's ways of finding out where they come from and revealing the blogs who send them and it's like that story we're all told about peeing in the pool and turning the water a different colour. I don't fuck with that shit.

If, for any particular reason, I've ever hurt anyone here to them I do issue a heartfelt apology because it has never been and never will be my intention. I said some awful things in the heat of the moment when I was receiving alot of hate and death threats regarding the AI edit a friend of mine made with audio from one of my fics. I was under so much pressure. I wanted it all to just stop. I just wanted everyone to be able to enjoy whatever made them happy. I am sorry for the things I said during that time. Im a human being. I am flawed. However..

I do not believe that people lose their rights to their body the minute they climb into bed with someone. And that's precisely what I say in the infamous screenshot. I just hope for anyone who has seen it that they now understand that it was said with love and understanding and support. I would never disregard anyones trauma or triggers. Never. And that is why I believe in giving people all the information they require before consuming media and art.

With all this said, I sincerely hope that it's clear that all I want to do is write. It's all ive ever done and all I will ever really be any good at doing. I'm proud of the fics I've put out here on my old blog and this one too. I don't care about how many notes they get, just that one or two people read it and enjoy it. And I hope you all know that I'm a nice person, too. So are a lot of blogs who have been villainised recently. This witch hunt has got to stop. We have got to start listening to each other with peace and understanding and not jump to conclusions. Not make people out to be something they simply aren't.

I want to curate a loving space here. A safe and nurturing space for anyone to feel free within. I want people to know they can jump in my asks and know that I will love them. I want everyone, of every race and every gender and ever creed of this world to know they are welcome and accepted here. Like a wise man that we all know and love once said. I'm not the person they say I am. I never was. And I think some of them know that. It is my greatest hope that any of you who wish to stick around get to know me for yourselves.

It is my greatest wish that those blogs who are still spouting hate about me really grow and heal. Or even better, pop on over and get to know me? I think it's important to understand why you might hate someone and not just from unreliable sources. If you think that I am some sort of s/a supporter who revels in writing that sort of thing then I'd be glad to dispel that myth.

I'm not going to speak on this again because I feel that I've moved on. This blog is my creative outlet and always will be. And as I've stated above its a safe and loving space for all. I'm reclaiming the fun. And hopefully some of you will stick around for it. And if not, I bid you a farewell. With nothing but love in my heart.

#my truth #im not who you think i am #love #support #truth #an open letter #i hope this helps

[artistpicks]

Category is: The Art of GIF

Welcome to November’s Artist Picks series! This month, we’ve invited @catswilleatyou to share posts surrounding the theme, “The Art of GIF.”

Here is what they have to say about it below!

What does “The Art of GIF” mean to you?

The GIF is an art form that was born on the web. Videos existed in other places; paintings, photos existed in other places. GIFs just didn’t exist anywhere until the internet came along. Many artists were thrilled to be at the moment in art history when this medium was born. Even though the compression techniques are outdated and the functionality has been surpassed by other formats, the perfect infinite loop of the GIF has yet to be achieved by another file format. MP4s still have a hiccup when they start over. While GIFs are widely used for quick jokes and communication, many artists still believe there is more depth to this medium. I believe that as digital art continues to gain acceptance as a high art form, GIFs will eventually be realized as a cornerstone to it. To me, the art of GIF is about working within limitations and birthing something infinite.

Why did you pick these particular posts?

A few years ago I started creating GIFs that are Phenakistiscopes. I couldn’t find any resources on how to make Phenakistiscopes, but I found lots of tons of centuries old Phenakistiscopes that were making amazing GIFs. I sort of backwards engineered my own method of making them and I continue to explore this medium with GIFs. There’s a lot to be learned by limiting yourself to a small number of frames. I keep thinking I’m done making these but every time I work on one, I learn a new animation trick.

(Below are specific mentions of the artists @catswilleatyou chose posts from.)

@volvulent is a mysterious artist to me. I know nothing about their personal life. I’ve never been able to find them on other social media platforms. I feel so fortunate to have stumbled on their work many years ago. They are a complete master of organic form and hand drawn infinite loops. You can follow some of the shapes on these drawings for several seconds, and then when you go back and study the art closely, you discover that the whole looping sequence is only fraction of a second long.

@katecursed uses old and outdated technology in ways I’ll never understand. Tons of analog CRT TVs, oscilloscopes, old video games, and synths. I love it. She grew up around this stuff and is extremely knowledgeable. Her GIFs are timeless.

@alcrego is an absolute workhorse and in my opinion, a historically important GIF artist. He has an instantly recognizable voice using almost entirely black and white. I think he would even go so far as to say he only uses light. The minimalism is always deceptive—there is so much depth to his exploration of GIF as an artistic medium.

I’ve also chosen some very “classic” looking @kidmograph GIFs. I credit kidmograph with bringing the retro/video game style back into fashion about a decade ago. When he started posting this stuff, I hadn’t seen anything like it. Shortly after (and still to this day), there was a huge movement of artists that co-opted this approach. I wanted to include their work here because when you see this look, I want you to know where the echo started. I also want to say that this is just one of many tricks kidmograph has. They explore a wide range of styles and approaches, and they are continually evolving.

@mrdiv always had such a knack for color, compositing, and simplicity. When I was first learning 3D, they were a great artist for me to study because I saw how much emotion and reaction they can get with using very very little. I love the minimalism of their work.

I love how @maxcapacity incorporates vintage equipment in his process to create such wild psychedelic GIFs. They’re always pretty saturated with lovely colors. For me, there’s a heavy hitting moment with this work where I’m watching my childhood get spit back to me in perhaps a more truthful version than I even recall it. It’s hard to explain but the nostalgia lures me in, and then I’m cut with a darkness by them. There’s also some humor sprinkled in.

@zbags’s work is instantly recognizable with the way they use creepy lively eyeballs behind faces. Collin’s work is disturbing and fun. There’s always an added bonus in reading his wild descriptions and titles. When there was a file size limit to GIFs being posted on Tumblr, I was always impressed by their ability to get a very long and detailed animation into a small file. I think he’s doing lots of frame rate tricks I still don’t think I’ve ever figured it out.

Find out more about Artists Picks here!

#artist picks #catswilleatyou #gif #the art of gif

[kerubimcrepin]

What do we know about Joris le Sans-Pouvoir (Joris the Powerless)?

Aka, addressing the "cancelled Nintendo DS game"-shaped elephant in the room.

While this blog has gone deep into the show and character dissections, I think it would be remiss to proceed without addressing the elephant in the room — the game, the myth, the legend, the 2007-2009ish cancelled game Joris le Sans-Pouvoir.

There isn't a lot that is known about it, and all the data in this post comes from two developers.

The only videos of it we have available are uhhh......,

...Please say "Thanks Ronik!" for this video in particular.

I spent hours trying to convert these two SWF animation video files, — which demonstrate how the game was supposed to look, — to something actually viewable. There were many issues, with at least seven different programs.

I suffered for crepinjurgenology studies, but I did it.

Instead of recounting the story in my own words and omitting anything on accident, I will simply present to you, what the portfolios of two different developers say (these two pages are the source of all the images, gifs, and gameplay):

Joris Le sans-Pouvoir is the main character from a feature film Ankama due in 2013. It’s a new character IP situated in the DOFUS universe. I had the chance to work on a platform game prototype that was all about delving into of the character’s backstory. We wrote a lot of background and had a lot of fun designing and developping a cute and quirky platformer with a hint of metroidvania elements and a dash of Grow gameplay elements in-between levels. It also was a great opportunity to work with Jono Takeshi-san of Radiata Stories fame who worked with me on the art direction. (SOURCE)

Joris was the first Nintendo DS project developed at Ankama (in partnership with Magic Pockets). I began working on the project as narrative game designer, then took on the role of Lead Designer and Project Manager. Game design on this project involved boss fight, level design, minigame design, UI… I also designed an original collecting system where collectible items were used in a minigame inspired by the “Grow” series. The developpement has been put on hold to match the release of the animated movie with the same character (scheduled in 2013). (SOURCE)

Neither the movie nor the game, survived their development, due to circumstances. (shorthand for: I have no idea what happened, man. Maybe one day I'll write a post about the history of the movie, and truly open that can of worms, but god, not right now. I don't want to spend more time on this.)

Eventually, The Wakfu film turned into three OVAs instead, and the Dofus film changed its plot a bunch of times, and became Livre 1 : Julith.

...For some reason, in some version of it, Joris had a tail. Yeah, I don't know what that's about either. Cool clothes, though!

We don't know anything about its plot, and unlike cancelled projects Dofus Donjons and Welsh et Shedar (which was cancelled for years, until its recent resurrection), the lore of this game carries no relevancy in modern canon.

The name, Joris the Powerless, as well as the log-centric gameplay, both seem to reference the early concept that Joris had log-based powers, — and that without his "magic wand," he couldn't do much.

(Joris and his weird fucking "magic wand" were, in turn, borne out of the idea of a warrior who had a woman's voice. Which makes me chuckle.)

(The following quotes are machine-translated and may contain errors)

(SOURCE)

This is, by the way, the reason why I personally headcanon Joris to be really bad at huppermagic. So bad that he dropped out of the Huppermage Academy, and almost never uses magic in combat. It's a homage to his original idea.

(Yes, there is an actual reason why I headcanon Joris to be godawful at magic, besides just projecting my neurodivergencies onto him.)

I suppose that, even at this time, Joris was meant to be a store owner:

The gameplay loop involves going from boutique, to missions, and so on, while those two pieces of concept art involve the said boutique section, and show a female character saying «Pas mal, boss !».

In my opinion, it might be this character. Proto-Simone, perhaps?

Since the store seems to be the centerpiece, and the Grow-style minigames involved collectibles, I would assume that the plot involved Joris going around and finding artifacts for the store. That would also explain the concept art gifs of him adventuring.

(Though, the adventuring would probably just be the inciting incident/a vehicle for plot development. Nintendo DS games loved using the jobs characters did for that purpose.)

This is the extent of what I can surmise about the plot.

The developer portfolios also included these example documents, but the image quality is too bad for me to make sense of or upscale. I am including them here solely for some French people who are very good at reading blurry text. (If you learn anything, let me know, okay?)

Overall, my verdict is that this game's cancellation was both a blessing (Joris without Kerubim and Atcham is like tea without water and a cup. How am I meant to drink leaves? Are you stupid? Why are you giving me leaves with nothing?) and a curse (THEY CANCELLED A GAME ABOUT MY BLUE-COLORED YOINKY SPLOINKY (who has a THIN, GRABBABLE WAIST)????? FUCK!)

Hope this was a fun read!

#ro liveblogs dofus #joris jurgen #wakfu #dofus #dsgame #<this one is for my pinned organization post's sake #anyway this post has fucked me. and my wife. and i don't even have a wife. my spine hurts my eyes hurt my hands hurt. #i want to do unspeakable things to that blue little man for what he put me through during the writing of this post. #please dont ask me to write about the other nintendo ds games ankama cancelled. they don't have joris so i don't care

[straitjacketzz]

HAVE YOU EVER DRAWN THESE GUYS?

Sooooo idek where to begin with this. I'll start by saying that yes I contacted Rebornica/Bones/Voltergeist and bought two of their old FNAF au designs. Those being Scott/Phone Guy and Jeremy. Before I get into anything I feel like I'm obligated to address Volt's past and let it be known that I do not Care about a mentally ill teenager faking other disorders or aggressively yelling at people to stop copying them or whatever other overdramatic thing they did like a decade ago and I don't think buying from them is anywhere near comparable to "supporting problematic people" compared other designers who are like homophobic or whatever the fuck else, and I'm not here to talk about or argue about "the ethics" of me giving Volt money. So jot that down before you even start typing.

I'm here to ask if anyone here has drawn art of Scott/Phone Guy and Jeremy so that i may save it and add it to their toyhouse galleries. You'll see they both currently have like 100 pieces in their galleries right now but I know that's not even scratching the surface. Theres just so much of it It's overwhelming to look for. Theres also issues of these designs being so popular to the point of people making their Own personal redesigns of them. And it starts to muddy up which art belongs to me or not. This isnt toooo much of a big deal with Jeremy as the giant "?" on his face makes him pretty distinct and easily recognizable as The Guy That I Own. But this becomes a problem with Phone Guy specifically. He is... pretty much The design that everyone draws him as regardless of if they intend for it to be Rebornica fanart or not. People use this design in their own AUs, people use this design as their own OC. Theres so so so so so much art of people labeling their art as "heres my phone guy design!" and its just the Rebornica design. And I don't feel comfortable or really have the heart to save anything that people consider to be theirs even if its literally the design that I own x__x It's just a bit hard when you own a design that is considered canon enough to a real video game to the point where people just. Take him. and there's nothing I can do about that. And it's not something that upsets me tbh because I knew this was an issue when I Bought him. Literally all I want to know is what art I can or can't save and upload to their archives lmao. So I figured asking people to send me their art directly would help reduce the chance of me just taking someone else's art that they didn't intend to be My phone guy. Not even counting the fact that a popular FNAF fan game called Dayshift At Freddy's has their own version of phone guy that ALSO had the red rotary phone head but wears a black business suit. So, any art of That One isnt mine.

But anyway yeah! And just know i'm looking for literally anything involving these guys. Digital art, traditional art, gifs, animations, physical/irl art, doodles, comics, fanfic, cosplays you made, even weird misc stuff like ponytown designs for them, literally anything and everything!!

also because i keep getting asked about it, Vincent, shadow vincent, mike, vendetta, mahogany, faith, captain, vex, sheriff, fritz, hocus, and boss have also all been sold and multiple different people own these guys now. and for vincents owner specifically, i will not be giving out their username as they Do Not Want To Be Contacted About It.

im cross-posting this on multiple websites so feel free to reach out anywhere where its most convenient for you. reblogs are appreciated for reach

twitter: straitjacketzz discord: straitjackets toyhouse: straitjackets

#fnaf #rebornica #rebornica au #phone guy #jeremy fitzgerald #five nights at freddy's #voltergeist #night terror #vincent bishop #purple guy #fnaf au

[romanarose]

Take Care of You

Francisco Morales x Benjamin Miller

SUMMARY: Pope is coming to the fight. No one’s seen him for a while, so the fight has more energy to it this time. Frankie helps calm his nerves, but Benny wants to be more than behind the scenes.

Warnings: briefest of smut (end of blowjob), cheating (Frankie is cheating with Ben, not on him), a lil angst, a lot of fluff, references to tom being homophobic and using slurs but we dont see him at all.

A/n: Canonically, Frankie wrapped Benny's hands before the scene in the gif in the script, but the scene ended up CUT SADLY. Adding in my version of what happen.

*******************

Yeah, Benny was nervous.

Pope was in town and would be coming ot his fight, the first one in several months. It wasn't like he never came to the states, but we wasn't flying back every weekend either. Usually when he was back, he had some big plan, a grand scheme, and adventure to go on. Benny needed to win, it was imparitive that he won when Pope was here so he didn't think he lost his edge. Every single mission Pope had, Benny went, he needed it. His MMA fights didn't pay the bills, they barely paid for his drinking some days, and his stock boy job at Walmart was humiliating. All he had were his fights and Santiago's adventures to keep him going

And, of course, Frankie, whose mouth he was currently cumming inside as Frankie knelt on the floor between where Benny sat on the bench.

Frankie, whose hat had fallen on the floor after getting in the way of deepthroating, swallowed him down like he always did, and then sat back on his with a satisfied smirk. "Feel better?”

Benny smiled his dopey grin and tucked himself back into his red shorts. "Yeah I do, thanks." Thanks. Benny chastised himself. Who the fuck says thanks after an orgasm? He never quite new how to act around Frankie. Frankie had been easier than the others, for sure. When Ben joined Delta, he needed so badly for everyone to like him, to think he was capable, to prove to himself he earned this spot and hadn't just gotten this position from being Ironhead's brother. Of course, that hadn't hurt. Will didn't pull any stings for him, but it was through Will that he heard there was a position open, and Will had mentioned his brother would be applying, but that was it. Ben knew he was good at what he did, but he felt like he was constantly fighting to prove that to the others, even know. A 35 year old man still wanting his cool older brother and his friend to like him. Pathetic.

Well, Catfish did more than like him, it seemed. Despite always being kind to him, gently teasing him to put him at ease, the recently change was something new. Of course Ben had a crush on Catfish, how could he not after watching him fly. He was so assured, collected, in control, just as he was when he was railing him in a secret hook up. And it had to remain secret, their sweaty nights spent exploring each others bodies, the hotel bookings and parked cars in corn fields, and days like this, tucked away in locker rooms. Ben longed for the day he could fuck Fish in his own Ben, to hold him all night and make him breakfast in the morning.

But he couldn't, because Ben lived with Will, and Fish lived with his girlfriend and daughter.

It wasn't a happy family, Benny reasoned to himself to make the guilt go away. They were on the verge of breaking up long before Ben entered the dick-sucking-picture, but then she got pregnant and Fish wasn't the type of guy of abandon his lady while pregnant. He was, however, the type to go run errands and fuck Ben in the Walmart employee bathroom. The one thing the shit job was good for.

Ben stood up, helping the older man off his knees. Fish mumbled a thanks is return, then directed him to sit as he grabbed the wraps. This was their ritual. Not the stress relief blowjob, but the hand wrapping. Part of Ben wondered if Will knew about them, if that's why he always made himself scarce and left the hand binding to Fish.

Will was maticulas, wrapping and rewrapping until it was perfect, until Will absolutely sure Ben would be okay, that it wasn't too tight, obsession over it until one day, Frankie got tired of watching and pushed Will to the side. Gently, carefully, firmly, Frankie wrapped his hands up. When Will inspected the hands, he was satisfied, entrusting Fish to do the job from then on. That meant a lot to Ben. Ben was aware how protective Will was of him, and the fact Will was able to entrust his baby brother's safety to Fish was important.

"You're gonna do great, Benjamin." Frankie tried to sooth him and he carefully wrapped the right hand. "You've been on a hot streak. Pope is gonna be very impressed."

Ben watched him, marveling at the care Fish always put into him, his hands, in bed, in the field. "I know I care too much about his opinion."

Frankie shrugged. "It's only natural."

"What do you think he'd think about us."

There was a brief pause in Frankie's actions, not looking up before he returned to his work. "And what exactly is us."

For months now, they hadn't really talked about what happened, they fucked and spent time together, but never talked. "Oh that's right, you just want sex."

THAT made Frankie look up, hurt in his eye as he straddled the bench. "How can you say that?" He finished the left hand, but still held it.

Ben looked away, ashamed he'd insinuate such a thing but too stubborn to back down. "You just call me when you want to bend me over a sink."

His voice was quiet. "Is that what you really think?" When Benny didn't reply nor look at him, Franke reached out, taking Ben's face in his hands and guiding it to his. "You listen to me, Benjamin, you aren't just sex and... I'm sorry I made you feel like that. It's doesn't have to be sex. It's quick fucks because I can't take you on a nice date. It's bathroom blowjobs because I can't hold you in my arms all night long."

Feeling his eyes tear up, Ben tried to push him feelings down, to push down the love he had for Catfish, but none the less he hears his voice quiver as he speaks. "But why?"

With a sigh, Frankie hangs his head and rests it on Ben's shoulder. 'It's just... I got the baby, you know? And the guys, they don't know what we are, I don't even know if we know what we are... it's all so... complicated..."

Benny understood, he did, and he reassured Frankie as much as he hugged him. "Can we try? I don't... I don't wanna be your dirty secret anym-"

"You're not." Frankie quickly broke in. "You're not... you're not dirty, Ben. You aren't dirty, and we aren't wrong. We just need to be honest with everyone."

Benny held his breath. "You we can... talk to the guys?"

There was a hesitation, but Fransisco spoke. "Yeah, yeah we can talk to them. Let's see what bullshit Pope's got going on this time and just wait a few days. If we're going somewhere, we don't need to be divulging and big secrets right before life or death situations but... yeah. After this, we can tell em."

"And your girl?" Benny kissed the crown of Frankie's head.

Frankie chuckled softly. "If we end up going, I'm pretty sure she's leaving anyway... Besides, she's fucking her boss, so I doubt it's gonna be much of a loss. I'm sure we can figure out a custody agreement."

Ben adored Franks daughter and lit up at the idea of helping raise her. "Yeah? You think we can pull this off."

Shrugging slightly but smiling, Frankie's kind eyes sparkled. "I dunno, we can try."

"What do you think that'll say?"

Frankie thought for a moment. "Well, I don"t think Will’s gonna give much of a shit. He just wants you to be happy, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know."

"And Santi hasn't been in a committed relationship since his 2 week girlfriend in Sunday school, so he doesn't got much room to talk."

Ben laughed, beaming again at his lover. "Yeah, I don't think he'd care much anyway." Ben's smile faltered. "And Tom?"

Frankie's smile fell a bit too, knowing how Tom was. Tom didn't say anything outright like 'man, I sure hate gay people.' But there were comments, outdated names he called them as 'play' insults... everyone knew where Tom stood.

"I won't let noth'n happen to you, okay? Neither will Santi or Will, 'kay? I love you so much, it's gonna be alright."

Ben breathed a sigh of relief. "Yeah, okay, s'gonna alright. I love you too, Fish"

Frank pulled Ben to stand up, pulling his face in for a wet kiss. "C'mon, Santi's waiting, he's gonna be so proud of you, just like me and Will are."

When Ben entered the locker room, Frankie trailing behind him, he tried his best to push away the thoughts of his best friend sucking his dick and promising his love not ten minutes ago. ***************************

RIP Andre Braugher, thank you for playing such an important role in queer representation in media <3

Had this idea in my head for MONTHS

check out my FishBen section on my triple frontier mastlist for more <3

not tagging the usual bc its not x reader sooooooo tagging some i thought may enjoy based on reblogs from boys of summer and whose expressed wanting to read

@missdictatorme @milkymoon2483 @spacecowboyhotch @velocibee @rubyfruitjungle @maplemind @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @reggiesfilthylittlesecret @gogh-with-the-flow @i-own-loki @writingforcurrentfixations @miraclesabound @pockcock

#triple frontier #benjamin miller #francisco morales #francisco catfish morales #fishben #Francisco morales x benjamin miller #benjamin miller x francisco morales #triple frontier fanfiction

[knickynoo]

At what point in time do you think the original timeline McFly family started being dysfunctional? I’m sure George and Lorraine were fully in love at first, and Lorraine even still in the 80s seems to look back fondly when recalling how they fell in love. But I do wonder when exactly it started to go downhill, when they started having kids? Just with age? Or maybe it was never really great to begin with before Marty got involved

This is a really interesting ask, and it's something that I've thought about a handful of times. The Twin Pines McFlys fascinate me.

As for my own headcanons about when the dysfunction started, I think it was always there. Dysfunction within families is complex, though, so it likely ebbed and flowed and morphed over the years. Some thoughts! (hehehe, analysis and theories incoming)

I 100% believe George and Lorraine were fully in love at first and are even still in love when we meet them in 1985. It's just that life has beaten them both down in various ways, and they've lost touch with each other and fallen into a pattern of being resigned to (and maybe even comfortable with) all the disconnect within their family. But there's no mistaking the fondness with which Lorraine begins her story of how she and George met and the way it shifts to such sadness within just a few seconds. Her question of, "It was the night of that terrible thunderstorm, remember, George?" is such a clear bid for connection with him. A hope that he'll smile and recall that night and join in on her story. That's what Lorraine wants! But George doesn't even acknowledge her (not on purpose, I'm sure; he's just so wrapped up in watching The Honeymooners), and you see Lorraine gradually deflate from there.

It's so sad because you can see the emotions shift so suddenly in her! That first gif still holds such affection as she recalls their first kiss. It's like she's a girl again, feeling that overwhelming sense of love and all the possibilities for their life together. But then it changes. She's brought back to reality and all the unhappiness, the disappointments, the realization that life isn't what she imagined for herself.

By the last gif, she's a woman who clearly feels trapped. Now stuck with this guy for the rest of her life. And what makes it so awful is that you can TELL Lorraine still loves him. She longs for that happiness they once had, but it takes two people putting in effort to make a marriage work. She can try to reach George all she wants, but if he can't be emotionally present, it isn't going to work.

Also, I'm sure that George loves Lorraine as well, but he's got a whole plethora of issues that just. Haven't been addressed. George has no self-worth. He's meek and lets people walk all over him and is so completely anxious about everything in life that he's mostly shut down. He's trapped too, with no way (that he can see) to change things. So he does what he can to survive, which consists of doing Biff's bidding and retreating to an inner world at the expense of shutting his family out.

I don't think things were always to this extreme, though. For a while I'm sure things were okay, maybe even good. They were young and in love, and while George was still George, I don't think life had defeated him yet. They got married, really established their little life together, and I can see them as both having hope. And even if there were moments that seemed shaky or hinted that things might be difficult down the road, it was easy to brush it aside. They were still finding their footing, and they were young and had their whole future together to make things better. In all honesty, Dave probably got to experience the "best" versions of his parents for the first several years of his life.

However, each year and every hardship (big and small) likely chipped away at the McFlys and brought about additional dysfunction. I don't know if Biff and George started working with each other right out of high school or if they came to work those jobs later on, but I'm sure that was a huge factor. It offered no escape from Biff for either George or Lorraine. Just a predictable cycle of George having to do whatever Biff told him, Biff invading their home whenever he pleased, and everyone having to watch George immediately tuck his tail between his legs.

As I said, I think things gradually kind of unraveled in their house. As the state of their family became more solidified, Lorraine likely began drinking more and withdrawing. I do think they still had their good days, though! Moments that brought them together and where they felt that happiness they once shared (I mean, they had three children together, and it's clear Dave, Linda, and Marty ARE loved and were raised well.) But the state of the McFly household is probably all Marty has known for the majority of his life. I can see situations arising where maybe Dave has told him, "They weren't always like this, you know."

Dysfunctional as they are, George and Lorraine really are trying. I think they can absolutely see the cracks and the flaws—perhaps even the potential damage being caused to their children—but they just have too much brokeness inside themselves to do better. So, they do what they can, which for George involves trying to protect his children's feelings by discouraging them from taking risks. He doesn't want them hurt or sad or disappointed, and his solution is to have them form shells around themselves. Better to save yourself from all the headaches life brings.

Lorraine does her best to protect and guide her kids by way of warning them away from the very things that brought her to where she is in life. We see this manifest in the form of criticism mostly when she's talking to Marty.

Lastly even with Lorraine seeming as downtrodden as she is, I can see her clinging to the possibility of change. Hoping and praying that eventually, George would say enough was enough and stand up for himself. He'd put his foot down, step up as a husband and father, and things would become what she always wanted. She was the one always telling herself, "Someday. Someday..." until the point we see her at during the dinner scene, where she knows that "someday" isn't going to ever happen. Things are just the way they are, and she has to deal with it.

This was a lot, but I have a lot of feelings about the McFly family and how they operated in their day to day life. Especially the implications of the McFly sibs (Marty in particular!) being raised in such an emotionally disjointed environment. Ugh, those gifs of Lorraine make me so sad. The whole thing is sad.

Thanks for the ask, though! I want to write another Twin Pines McFly fic now.

#asks #back to the future #bttf #no but i could write a whole series of posts on Twin Pines McFlys #and how just that one short scene displays such a sad‚ tense home life #no cohesion. no true connection #checked out dad and depressed mom #& their oldest son who doesn't seem to have his footing in life‚ daughter who feels isolated & frustrated with a lack of social life #& youngest child who's anxious & so incredibly sensitive to rejection & feels directionless & has exactly one (1) stable adult in his life #growing up in that environment does things to you!! #and then Marty is thrown into a Better Timeline with very stable and well adjusted parents but he still was raised with the dysfunction!! #that's still part of him!!! how does he cope!!!!?? #losing my mind eric stoltz was right about the ending!!!

[claymoresword]

The Queen And Her Knight | Chp: 3

Alicent Hightower x Knight Fem!Reader

Summary: Alicent Hightower against her better judgement, falls in love with her sworn protector. Can she bear to fight her feelings or will she finally just give in?

Pairing: Alicent Hightower x Reader

Wordcount: 3.6k

Warnings: fluff, harsh language, aegon ii targaryen, reader is a total simp for alicent

Note: "An incredibly closeted young woman who will do anything for hugs" -Olivia Cooke

just to clarify this version of aegon ii isn't an abuser he treats women just fine but he is still a loser !

i hope u enjoy this one let me know what u think! <3

not my gifs btw

"Drink it."

"No."

You sat the cup down, firmly crossing your arms as you sit back in the chair.

"Come on! We are celebrating!" The prince exclaims, pushing the rim of his own cup to your lips.

"Forgive my daftness my Prince but what exactly are we celebrating?" You swiftly grabbed his hand to still his movements.

"Your return, ofcourse!" Aegon nearly scoffs, acting as if you were being obtuse on purpose.

"Mother has been utterly morose without you here."

"The Queen tries her best to hide it but only ends up being disagreeable. Which would be fine if I were not always on the receiving end of her moods."

You throw the Prince a look, admittedly stunned at his words.

Alicent was truly that miserable when you were gone? Even Aegon, someone so imperious and self interested, could see it.

Aegon smirks knowingly, he has said the right thing to convince you.

He raises his cup and gestures for you to do the same.

"To Lady y/n, for returning to my mother's aide and in turn, my own. I do not know where we would be without you, my dear friend."

The platinum haired Prince places a quick hand on your shoulder as a gesture of gratitude before chugging his ale.

You followed his lead, too late to back out now.

--

The room had begun to spin, you definitely needed to stop drinking if you wanted to report for duty in the morrow.

The prince has long dissappeared into the back rooms. He had bought himself a suitable whore, or five to be precised, satisfying his needs for the night.

You had half a mind to get up and leave Aegon to his deeds but a part of you felt obligated. For Alicent, you needed to make sure her son is escorted back to the castle safely.

Your mind rarely ever strayed too far from the Queen. She occupied your entire headspace, you are intoxicated in her presence and grieve her when you are apart. You have lived this way since the first moment you met.

Naturally, you began to recall the incident that occurred in your chambers earlier that night. You started to feel something familiar stir in the pit of your stomach. You found yourself wondering how far the two of you would have gone if the Prince hadn't interrupted.

You are broken out of your thoughts when you hear giggling coming from across the room. You glance over and spot a group of women, evidently workers of that brothel.

Each of them whispering and throwing sheepish glances your way.

"Gods, she's a Greyjoy?"

You hear one of them say as she brings her thumb up to her mouth gnawing at it slightly, hiding a blush.

You throw the woman a warm smile as a good gesture. A terrible mistake you soon realised, as you watched her make her way towards you.

The woman took advantage of your unoccupied lap and situated herself on it. Her hand finding the back of your neck as she turns towards you. She is entirely too close for your liking, you can smell the ale on her breath.

"Hello gorgeous, why are you here all alone?" She leans in to whisper in your ear.

You give her an uncomfortable smile this time unsure of how to approach the situation.

"I am awaiting someone. He went into the back rooms."

The woman lets out a sudden laugh, loud and obnoxious enough to make you grimace.

"You are waiting for the Prince? Then you will be waiting all night sweetheart."

You didn't appreciate her condescension.

"You look terribly lonely my lady, allow me to take care of you."

The woman breathes out as she move her hand to your chest, slipping it under your shirt, her intentions were clear.

You grabbed her hand abruptly stopping her from touching you any further.

"I have no interest in being taken care of, thank you." You respond curtly, no longer meeting the woman's gaze you only wanted her to get off your lap.

"Am I not to your liking, my lady? Perhaps you'd prefer one of the maidens instead?" Her thumb grazes your jaw forcing you to glance at the other ladies sat across the room.

They did look young, way too young to be in a place like this.

"No, I assure you it's quite alright." You repeated sternly.

The woman removes her hand from your neck and slumps backwards. Her back resting agaisnt the edge of the table.

Your hand finds her waist reflexively, to keep her from falling off your lap completely.

"Alright then. If you ever wish to know what it feels like to be properly satisfied, you know where to find me."

With that, she finally leaves you alone. You took a large swig of your drink. You were never one to reject a woman's advances but you realised that you were no longer in the Iron Islands. It was already of poor standing for the Queen's sworn knight to be seen in a place like this. You decide to not push it any further.

Above all, the truth was you no longer had any desire to lay with anybody who wasn't Alicent. The queen has completely ruined you for other women.

--

Alicent is awoken by the sun streaming in through her curtains. She is shocked at how well rested she feels this morning. Her mind immediately turns to you and she's greeted by a warmth in her chest. You kissed last night but the guilt she once felt is no longer. She does not recognise the feeling stirring inside her but she would imagine it is as close as she will ever get to peace.

Like clockwork, she hears a knock at her door. Her handmaiden, come to dress her for the day.

"Come!"

Talya walks in, curtseys and makes her way to the windows. Pulling the curtains open the morning sun now illuminating the entirety of the Queen's chambers.

Alicent stands and allows her handmaiden to fix up her bedding, their usual routine. The queen puts on her robe and moves to stand by her window, she spots Aemond walking across the field in his riding attire he must be on his way to the dragon pit. A fond smile forms across her face, her darling boy.

She suddenly notices she could no longer hear the ruffling of pillows. Talya is stood behind the Queen, her gaze fixed on the ground as she fiddles with her fingers nervously.

The auburn haired woman turns her attention to her handmaiden. Her face contorts in genuine concern.

"Talya, what is it?" Alicent breaks the silence.

"Your Grace, there are rumours concerning Lady y/n's conduct. I figured that it would be better for you to hear these claims from me first."

Alicent feels the wind get knocked out of her. She clasps her hands over her abdomen at an attempt to stay composed. Did somebody see them last night? How could that be when they were in the privacy of y/n's chambers?

"Go on, what are these rumours you speak of?"

"The lady y/n had been spotted engaging in activities unbeffiting of a lady of her status."

"Activities? Please, speak plainly Talya." Alicent commands.

"She was seen in a brothel during the hour of the ghosts, with the young Prince Aegon."

Alicent no longer feels warm. Only the nausea emanating from deep inside her belly, a result of her disgust.

She brings her hand up to her throat rubbing at it soothingly.

Talya continues despite the Queen's obvious discomfort.

"She was seen with another woman, it is said that they were engaging in certain acts that should only ever include a man and a woman."

Alicent winces involuntarily, her handmaiden notices and looks down at the ground once more.

The Queen suppresses the sob threatening to come out of her lips before speaking again.

"Very well Talya, thank you for telling me."

Alicent feels as if she had just been struck in the chest, hard.

Her sadness quickly dissipating and she now only feels anger. How could y/n do this to her? Especially after the events of last night, why would you risk sullying your reputation? She needed to confront you about this. She wanted the truth.

"Help me dress now, I must attend to the King."

--

You open your eyes and right away feeling an all too familiar pounding in your head.

You lift your hand up to cover your face, the room was just too bright.

"Seven hells." You grumble as you reach for water just to realise you weren't in your own chambers.

Opening your eyes slowly you brace yourself for the sight of the woman from the brothel. In your drunken state you must have taken her to bed afterall.

To your horror, you quickly recognised the interior of the chambers to be Prince Aegon's.

You feel movement next to you and quickly turn your head, you are inches away from the Prince's face the both of you now only noticing each other for the first time.

Your eyes widen and you both let out a yell, he mirrors your expression as he pulls the covers closer to his bare chest.

You recoil moving further back away from him resulting in you falling off the bed, landing harshly on the ground.

"Fuck." You let out a groan. What the hell happened last night?

You looked down inspecting your attire. Your clothes were still on, everything was intact except for your sword and footwear which was strewn across the floor to your right. You sighed in relief. Atleast the worst didn't happen.

You stand up, your eyes meeting Aegon's worried expression.

"We did not.. do anything last night, did we?" Aegon asks and you feel the urge to fling your shoe at him for even suggesting it.

"You did things I am sure of it but definitely not with me. I am fully clothed." You state, putting on your shoes. You look up at him again.

"I am asking this to simply satisfy my curiosity my Prince but why exactly are you naked?" You watch as Aegon clutches the white sheet over his body holding onto it for dear life.

"I found that I rest much better unclothed, force of habit I suppose."

You found yourself staring at him bewildered for a few moments before you speak again.

"I should go now."

"Yes, best not to mention this to anyone." The prince warns.

"Aye, no one." You assure.

You pick up your sword and turn to make your way out of his chambers but you are stopped in your tracks by the sight before you.

"Your Grace." You coughed out.

The queen stood by the door, her hands by her sides. You watched as she balls her fists before relaxing them. It looked as if she was suppressing the urge to lunge at you. The expression on her face was otherwise a dead giveaway, she was furious.

Her eyes flitted to her son, she scans his appearance before scowling.

This is bad. This is really very bad.

"Your Grace, it truly is not what it looks like. Please allow me to explain."

Alicent lifts her hand up, you stop speaking immediately.

You have been face to face with actual dragons and in this moment she is more intimidating than any of them.

"My chambers. Now." She stares at you and you knew better than to challenge her.

You nod and follow the Queen swiftly to her rooms.

--

Alicent slammed the door to her chambers, promptly making her way towards you. Her hands coming into contact with your chest she shoves you hard, you lose your balance slightly but otherwise do not budge. Tears well up in her eyes and your heart shatters at the sight.

You've hurt her.

The queen shoves you again, this time she is repeatedly hitting your chest with her fists, being considerably stronger than she is you barely flinch. You stood your ground allowing her to take it out on you. Alicent needed to let her anger show once in awhile.

You hear her sob and you bring your hands up to pull her into an embrace. She fights you for a moment before giving in, she clings onto you and you feel her shoulders rapidly rise and fall as she cries into your chest.

"What are you doing to me" Alicent's voice breaks and you only hold her tighter.

"I do not wish to cause you pain Alicent, I am truly sorry. Nothing happened between me and the Prince, you must believe me."

Alicent stays silent and you continue.

"I came along with the sole purpose of keeping an eye on him. I admit I had too much to drink last night but I swear to you that is the worst of it."

You can feel her breathing become even, she is no longer sobbing.

She lifts her head and looks at you through glistening eyes. A tear falls down her cheek as she blinks and you move your hand gently wiping it away with your thumb. You take the opportunity to hold her face in your hand for a moment and she allows you to.

Alicent takes a step back, you are no longer holding her but you are still close enough to feel her breath against your skin.

"And what of the woman at the brothel? You took her to bed did you not?"

You were wounded at the accusation, although you could not entirely blame Alicent for it. You had a reputation before coming to King's Landing, most people knew you had an avid interest in sleeping around. However, that was back in the Iron Islands, before you met the Queen. Thinking back on it now it seems like a lifetime ago.

You gaze softens, you shake your head before grabbing Alicent's hand.

"I have not laid with any other since being back here." You admit, bringing the Queen's hand up to your lips, you place a tender kiss against it.

You noticed as Alicent lets out a breath of relief. You step closer, planting another kiss on her arm.

You lift the Queen's hand up to place it on your chest, right above your heart.

"I have no desire for anybody else, Your Grace." Your hand firmly on top of hers, you know she can feel your heartbeat. It is steady and calm, as you only speak the truth.

"I am yours, if you want me. It has always been you, Alicent." You whisper, your gaze now fixed on the Queen's lips.

You watch as her lips part for a moment. She fails to say anything and you take the opportunity to lean in, kissing her deeply. Alicent reciprocates before settling her hand on your shoulder as you end the kiss.

"You admit these things to me truthfully?" The older woman breathes against your lips.

"I only ever want to tell you the truth, my Queen." You respond.

Alicent leans forward once again, this time she pulls you into a kiss.

"I believe you."

A smile forms on your lips but it quickly falls when the Queen flashes you a stern look.

"You are so lucky I do not have a dragon of my own." Alicent jests and you let out a laugh.

"You'd feed me to a dragon?" You gasp, hand over your chest feigning offence.

"If you infuriate me enough, yes I would." A smirk on your face, this time you don't try to suppress it.

"Ah, baseless threats Alicent. I know you despise those beasts." You say, absentmindedly rubbing the Queen's arm.

Alicent giggles and you stomach flutters at the sight. She is just so beautiful.

"Speaking of Dragons, Princess Rhaenyra has arrived from Dragonstone I must make my way over to greet her. I will see you later."

Alicent moves to walk away but you grab her hand stopping her.

"Your Grace, I shall come with. I am your sworn knight afterall."

The Queen shakes her head at you before speaking.

"Take the morning off y/n, I am sure the events of last night has left you depleted. This morning's a long and tedious one."

"I will be listening in on petitions for the Driftmark succession." Alicent explains and she is right that does not sound like something you wanted to sit through.

"I have arranged for Ser Criston to escort me. You will resume your post later today."

You nodded, protesting no further. Alicent places a quick kiss on your cheek before giving you a genuine smile, making her way towards the door. You follow behind her but turning in the opposite direction once you have reached the hallway, you walked to your own chambers.

--

"Her children are bastards!" Lord Vaemond shouts for the entire throne room to hear.

Alicent shifts her gaze to Viserys, how foolish of him to lose his temper before the King. There will only be dire consequences.

"And she is a whore." The auburn haired woman eyes widen, she could not believe this was happening.

"I will have your tongue, for that." Viserys wheezes, pulling out his dagger.

Alicent hears gasps all across the room and in one swift motion Prince Daemon swings Dark Sister, cutting Vaemond's head clean in half.

She flinches at the horrific sight and immediately turns to Heleana, her only instinct in the moment was to protect her daughter.

"Disarm him!" The guards surround the rogue prince, forcing him to yield his sword.

Viserys can be heard groaning in pain and the Queen rushes over to him, catching him in her arms. All of his weight on her she struggles to hold her husband up. He was too weak to stand on his own feet.

"My love, please you must take something for the pain." She insists before one of the guards helps lift the King back onto his seat escorting him to his rooms.

--

Alicent places the empty cup by Viserys' bedside. The king, finally asleep. She lifts the blanket further up to his chest before standing up to make her way out of his apartments.

The entire walk back to her chambers Alicent can merely focus on how exhausted she was. The day is not close to being over. She still had to sit through dinner with Rhaenyra and her husband.

--

You were stood posted outside the Queen's rooms for awhile now awaiting her return. Feeling better after a bath and a decent meal you were ready to properly resume your duties.

Footsteps can be heard approaching and you catch a glimpse of the auburn haired beauty you were expecting to see. Though the expression on her face looks less than thrilled. She looks utterly defeated.

Being Queen of the seven kingdoms you highly doubted the existence of a simple day. You do not envy her.

"Was it dreadful?" You ask once she gets close enough to hear you.

Alicent sighs before answering.

"Abysmal."

The queen looks around to make sure nobody was near before reaching to open the door to her chambers. You move out of her way but she quickly grabs your arm pulling you inside with her.

In the privacy of her rooms she wraps your arm around her own waist, gesturing for you to hug her. You do so without a moment's thought and Alicent melts into your embrace.

You hold her for a few moments, placing a quick kiss on her forehead. You could really get used to this.

Alicent lets out another sigh and you rub her back at an attempt to soothe her.

"My love, what's happened?" You ask, still rubbing small circles onto her back.

"Vaemond Velaryon was beheaded in the throne room infront of everybody." The older woman merely states, exasperated.

"What?" You exclaim in disbelief, moving back slightly to meet Alicent's gaze.

"By the King's orders?"

Alicent shakes her head before leaning into you once again.

"It was Daemon, he took justice into his own hands."

"Ah, I see. I know Prince Daemon. I had the displeasure of fighting alongside him in the stepstones all those years ago." You admitted. The Rogue Prince every bit lived up to his name. You do not miss his company one bit.

"The King ordered a family supper tonight. I want nothing more than to miss it."

"Though I suppose I will have to settle with only having a quick nap beforehand." Alicent says lifting her head and you release her from your embrace.

The Queen walks over to her bed and you nod your head at her before turning to leave.

"Where are you going?"

An amused expression flashes across your face.

"I thought you wanted to rest, Alicent."

"I do." The Queen says now sitting on her bed, she extends her hand out for you to grab.

You walk up to her, your hand now in hers, she pulls you closer and eventually you had no choice but to land on the bed next to her.

Alicent lays her head on the pillow, her back towards you. It now became clear that she wanted you to spoon her.

You oblige gladly, quickly unclasping your sword from your side you carefully set it by her bed. Moving closer to her your hand finds her waist and Alicent grabs your arm quickly wrapping it around herself until your hand was against her abdomen.

You listen as Alicent's breathing becomes shallow as she rapidly falls into a deep slumber.

You can feel your chest constricting, an unfathomable amount of love for the Queen. You truly would do anything to ensure her happiness. Right now holding her as she slept, you were certain you never wanted to let go.

#alicent hightower #alicent hightower x reader #aegon ii targaryen #aegon ii x y/n #team green #rhaenicent #rhaenyra x reader #rhaenyra targaryen #aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader #heleana targaryen #heleana x reader

[sorenphelps]

All the artwork I made (so far) for the fanfic Fall For Me by @nikialexx for this year's @rsbigbang!

When we received the fanfic summaries and I saw that there's gonna be a rockstar AU, I ranked it high and was hoping for the best that I'd get it... And I got lucky, we got paired up with Niki, and I cannot even begin to express how much fun working with her has been! When I signed up for the Bang, I had no idea that I will end up being such an overachiever, but our collaboration was just too inspiring for me to stick to making only 1 picture! I'm gonna share a little backstory for all of them, also listing all the hidden easter eggs!

The banner: It was inspired by an off-screen scene (and a Hozier gif) Niki shared with me which inspired her to play with this AU to begin with! She was kind enough to let me design the look of the characters however I wanted and as I am the biggest facial hair enthusiast irl, I shamelessly drew the boys with beards, even tho it is not even once mentioned in the fic! (I aspire to be the fanartist known for drawing every male character with a beard, jsyk.) I am especially fond of Remus' nose, it just turned out so cute! Also, big thanks to Niki again for adding the extra bit about Sirius' parents coming from Vietnam, which is a very personal touch for me! It's the reason why I draw the Black family members with East Asian features, and finally it is perfectly valid in this fic's canon! 🙇🏻‍♀️

The paparazzi photo: This was my very first idea upon reading the summary of the fic, and thankfully Niki was very onboard with this too! This however turned out to be more challenging than expected, the first version was from a different angle and I really couldn't figure out the correct proportions and perspective, and the pose is harder to pull off in an anatomically correct way to begin with, so after some discussions whether it would be plausible in the fic if the paparazzi would have a room next to this balcony instead of in front, it finally clicked into place! And it is actually a real place in Madrid (the hotel and the background too)! Madrid is my ultimate favourite European city and I've spent 2 weeks working there this spring, so I could actually use my own photos as reference! I also hid a crescent moon and a star on the label of the wine bottle in the background! In the fic it is a kiss and they shouldn't be this visible, but I think I managed to convey the heat of this moment anyway. I really like how Sirius licks Remus' neck and their pleasure is obvious however subtle it is. Also because it is not an actual kiss, it has around the same level of ambiguity as the "original" semi-hidden photos would have in my opinion?

The Instagram posts: This idea came to me while reading the first draft of the fic. I've always liked social media inspired drawings, so at first I just sketched it out for fun, but then I liked it too much, so I finalized it, only to realize that I remembered incorrectly and it was not an Instagram post in the fic! Thankfully Niki was flexible enough to change the platform to Instagram in the final version to cover for my mistake! As in the fic it's Snape who takes the paparazzi photos, I referenced him in the first insta post (username). The second insta post was a last minute addition, I figured why not put the story in a "frame" this way. I wanted to draw Remus again, and I had so much fun with it, I've added a lot of easter eggs too! He is drinking wine and is a little tipsy - just as the beginning, and a lot of other times in the fic actually, haha -, he has the ring, the photo was taken in James' restaurant, and there is also Padfoot the dog, who is now bigger as a whole year has passed! Niki gave me free hand with the caption and the comments too, so I decided to really double down on the story framing idea, and have the same comments, but with a twist, emphasizing Sirius' sassiness more (the caption and the extra comment from him saying the love of his life is his dog, but i used the moon and wolf emojis so it would refer to Remus... Also Padfoot is on the picture which is a nod back to the first one when the comment said who is on the picture).

The extra sketches: Originally I didn't want to add the extra sketches, as all three were just warmup before/after working on the actual pieces, but Niki decided to include them in her fic anyways! I really enjoyed the tension of the bathroom scene, I might even clean that sketch up sometime, but the roughness somehow really fits the vibe of the scene! The guitar playing one was actually the first version of the insta post that I only drew for my own fun, before I moved to make a more direct illustration of the scene. I really like how it looks, the guitar just looks so right in Sirius' hand! The boy really is a born rockstar, haha! The balcony in the background has the same pattern as the hotel in Madrid, however it really is just a coincidence. And how could I have resisted drawing Sirius with baby Padfoot?

The promo pic: I had the basis of this picture since working on the banner, but I actually only finished it recently. My aim was to make it look like an actual promo, influencer style (that's why the text is so cringy)! I've also came up with the idea of drawing the rockstar version of Sirius with a cross earring while working on these pictures, which I liked to much that I draw every version of him with it now 😆 It's like 95% of aesthetic and 5% reference to his godfather status (which makes sense only in my native language, cause the word for godfather is mirror translated as cross-father).

The rockband pic and the concert pic: I'm gonna list them here too, because they are both connected to the fic! Neither of them is a direct illustration, but they were inspired by the conversations I had with Niki in the meantime! The concert pic is actually a variation for the situation I tried to convey with the banner!

TLDR; (this became so long again, jeez) I really enjoyed working on all of these pictures, and I am sure that I will definitely create more! (The R/J/S threesome is just too tempting!!) It was really the most prosperous of collaborations, and it was so nice to get to know Niki too! I am really grateful for the opportunity to join the Bang, in my case it really delivered all the benefits: engaging more in this fandom, my creative drive skyrocketing and getting to know a lot of new people! Thanks to everyone involved, really!

#r/s big bang #nikialexx #wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #fanart #art by lau #lau draws with a tablet #rockstar au #collaboration