#i try every time

[gideonisms]

I LOVE being alive so I can be mediocre at SO many different hobbies

#this isn't sarcasm at all i love to try different tasks i get mediocre at a new thing every year #i love to learn about other people's hobbies!! #i am having a great time #there are so many things to do who can blame me for getting distracted from life tasks that are boring when there are all these fun ones

[seven-oh-four]

I'm still pretty new to chess, can anyone tell me what I'm supposed to do if my opponent plays the Eight Fucking Bears opening? I'm really having trouble.

#mtg #magic the gathering #eight fucking bears #inscryption #chess #Every time I try to go first (because I'm the white side) he goes TOO FAST. TOO SOON. and playes eight fucking bears with flash #reach and trample #and i don't know what to do about it #my dumb chess ideas #1k #2k #3k #4k #5k #8k #10k #15k #20k #25k #30k #40k #50k

[hybrix-hidings]

Honestly everyone give it up for repulsed aces/aros. Yall get so much shit for having boundaries and its frustrating to watch. You're all getting sent complimentary gift baskets

#aromantic #asexual #aspec #romance repulsed #sex repulsed #I was very briefly romance repulsed due to An Incident and like #every time i tried being like 'hey theres a PDA channel can you use that for this' to my friends with partners theyd throw a shit fit #anyway what im trying to say is that yall are strong as fuck and deserve to have boundaries respected.

[plague-parade]

i feel like we dont talk enough about how distressing and disturbing memory loss issues are. forgetting what you were talking about halfway through a sentence, putting something down and instantly forgetting where you put it. having to reread one paragraph over and over again because by the time youve moved onto the next sentence you dont remember what the one before it said. always doubting if your memories of things are real, not being able to remember important life events.

its so incredibly scary, it feels like your mind is constantly playing tricks on you and you start to doubt whats real and what isnt.

“i forgot” is treated like a lazy excuse when it’s genuinely such a big issue for so many people.

#this has been building up in me for a bit #i was talking to my mom and she brought up a concert we went to and i have zero memory of ever going #huge chunks of my life are just. gone. #every time i sew i put the needle down and spend fifteen minutes trying to find it #memory loss #memory issues #cognitive issues #cognitive decline #cognitive dysfunction

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid]

still kind of hilarious that people in the witcher universe are often extremely racist against witchers. like bro. how you gonna have beef with the pest control guys. sure they have yellow cat eyes and creepy magic powers but they got those specifically as part of the process to become the pest control guys. your pests are six feet tall and killing the neighborhood kids. why are you like this

#me #every time i walk by someone who spits at me in the game i'm like BRO #I'M HERE TO HELP YOU #YOU try fighting a leshen without mutations! #the witcher #the witcher 3

[egophiliac]

like mother, like son, but less wholesome this time?

(I couldn't decide whether or not to put them together, so have them in all the different ways!)

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers #if i had a nickel for every time a draconia ob'd while trying to save lilia #and had to be taken out by a member of this one specific bloodline with sparkly celestial hair that a fairy blessed #et cetera and so on you know the rest #i mean we know it's going to end better this time but y'know. the parallels! #oh meleanor my beloved #of course...of course she ob'd...it makes sense... #everything about this whole situation just massively sucked for everyone huh #well at least silver's biodad felt guilty about killing her i guess #i dunno i'm just havin' some feelings about all of this #lilia had both the absolute worst and absolute best things about his life come out of all this #down the two great loves of his life and also his job and reputation and 200 years of his life and uhhhh kind of everything else honestly #up some kids though! #(also one of those kids is a baby dragon who is JUST the right size to put silly hats on) #they were worth it to him! or maybe they were worth not giving up? look i am DEEP in the blorbosauce right now #if you don't want to read emotional tags about lilia twistedwonderland then don't come to egophiliac.tumblr.com

[pants-lint]

Just had a Thought and now I'm curious. What's you guy's strangest comfort media? It doesn't have to be strange as in like creepy/fucked up/whatever, it can just be smthn a lil odd.

#Mine is a drum corps show from 2015 LMAO #Carolina Crown's “Inferno” to be exact lol #this was during my peak Band Kid years and also the height of my Divine Comedy fixaction so this just scratched SUCH a good itch #i would literally just watch this like 13 min long marching band show over and over #and try to figure out what parts of the music represented what parts of the poem #thank god i had other band friends i could just word vomit about this too at the time lol #every few months or so i'll fall back into it and reanalyze it a lil weirdo too lol #anyway 10/10 show would recommend if you like band stuff n dante LMAO

[becca-e-barnes]

Bucky pinning you down so you can’t squirm and he’s just sitting inside you while he tortures your clit feeling you clench around him. He makes you cum over and over until he finally cums.

Overstimulation + super soldier stamina = …

- 🍯

Dear God, I know I just don't have it in me to behave during cock-warming. When it comes down to it, I genuinely have no patience at all 😵‍💫

"You..." Bucky begins, pressing you down onto the bed before gripping your ankles and forcing you to flip over onto your front. "Have a problem with control."

With your face turned away from him, you can't help but smile to yourself. No one has ever said it out loud but you know he's right.

Being in control is where you're most comfortable. No hands are safer than your own. Except maybe his. You know he won't fuck this up.

"And you..." He continues, gathering your wrists behind your back, holding them tightly with one hand. "Need to learn how it feels to have control taken from you. Do you understand?"

As soon as you begin to nod your head, you feel him start to tape around your wrists, holding them together behind your back. Once he's content they're secure, he sits on the edge of the bed, facing the mirror before he pulls you onto his lap.

"Legs spread over the top of mine." He orders and you do as you're told, not because you have to but because you want to.

You notice the way your cunt is already glistening in the mirror and you're almost embarrassed because he hasn't even touched you yet.

"Fuck, you're made for this." He groans, lining his cock up to your slick entrance and you wonder if he's holding his breath too while he slides into you, as deep as your bodies will allow.

You're obsessed with the sight in front of you; your own naked body, with your legs spread so far apart you can see how your cunt is stuffed full of him.

Being shorter though, your feet can't touch the ground like this. There's no way you'll get enough leverage to fuck yourself on him but as soon as you start to tell him that, he silences you with two thick fingers between your lips.

"I'm not letting you fuck me." His free hand roams over your body, squeezing your breasts, pinching your nipples and then settling between your spread thighs.

"I'm going to play with you. I'm going to see how much you can take. I'm going to work out exactly how you like your clit stroked and I'm going to do that until your legs are shaking and your body won't let you cum any more. Maybe then I'll fuck you but sweetheart, that will be hours from now." His breath is hot against the side of your face, his fingers slipping from your mouth to your waist while he starts to flick gently against your clit.

"I'm going to start slowly. I'm going to do everything I can to drag this out as long as possible. I can feel every clench and flutter of this pretty little cunt and I'm going to enjoy it until you're dripping over my balls." At this rate, it won't be long until you're dripping onto the carpet, never mind over him. You dreamed he'd want to take control like this but you never imagined the way your body would respond.

"And then, when you've cum more times than you can handle, I'm going to tell you that I love you while I fuck you like I don't."

Update: Part 2

#asks answered <3 #becca writes spice #🍯 anon #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader smut #dom!bucky #I think this might be one of my favourites that I've written recently #That last line has been my go - to fantasy this week #it's come into my head every morning when I'm walking to the train #and I planned to write an exploration of it today #but you know #I like it just left there like that for now #I've spent most of my free time trying to book a mid-week city break #but I don't know where to start #I got a new piercing this week and I love it!! #but I was in work on Friday talking about it #and our graphic designer asked how many piercings I had #so I told him I have 8. So 3 in each ear #and the expression on his face was just pure maths #he didn’t question it lmao

[hedgehog-moss]

The farmer I buy hay (and some firewood) from hasn't had time for deliveries yet, and he texted me yesterday to ask what I needed most urgently, hay or wood. Selflessly, I said hay.

That /is/ the gate for hay deliveries! Great memory, Pirlouit. I see what are the important spots in your mental map.

I hope you realise that I'm sacrificing myself for you. By telling our neighbour to prioritise your food over my comfort.

But even if I didn't, I would prioritise you and your hay because I love you. I would freeze to death to ensure you are fed

Would you share your hay with me, though?

I see.

#crawling along #i think of gollum's ''what has it got in its pocketses?'' every time pirlouit tries to raid my pockets with mounting frustration #your big nose doesn't fit in my coat pockets!! stop trying #and you don't even like mints #i tried to give him one once for a taste and it was too minty for him and he spent 30s panting with his mouth wide open #like my baby cousin when she stayed over and forgot her kid toothpaste and had to use my grown-up one #same look of betrayal

[marzipanandminutiae]

why are skirts inherently evil and oppressive in historical fiction until men are wearing them

I've never heard anyone going on at length about how Universally ImpracticalTM the garb of a Scotsman or an ancient Roman politician are

suddenly everyone has a concept of situational practicality that previously was not there

#history #clothing history #historical fiction #'SKIRTS are so IMPRACTICAL-' always? every time? for everyone? #because I don't know about you but I live in a city and work in museums #skirts are A-okay for me #also people have done MANY types of physical activity in skirts for centuries. sometimes pants are more practical for sure! #but. not always. #and you never hear fiction authors talking about how oppressed Scotsmen are by their kilts #'he couldn't FUNCTION because he wasn't wearing PANTS!' I'd like to see someone try it

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 3: Enveloping Feelings.

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 4 (soon))

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan wangji #Yungmeng Jiang training arc AU #I wanted to try out a different paneling style for this one - sorry I'm a day late! (there will still be a post tomorrow to keep on track) #The original 3 panel comic idea was fine but the point of this new schedule was to take time to push myself a bit more. #I was taking a look back through some comic artists I felt inspired by #and I really loved how Lynda Barry fills her gutters with patterns and doodles! #Obviously I'm not going as absolutely wild with it as she does but it was a great exercise! #I truly think the gutters are the most important and most overlooked part of any comic. There's lots going on in that space. #It's the same with timeskips. The implied movement between moments that we don't see changes depending on how wide that gap is #You're here for the funny tags so here's some that ties this time talk together: #I think LWJ was thinking about that second note from day 2 but it took him 7 days of hazing to commit it to paper. #I think he sends it a day later and immediately regrets it. Chasing down the messenger and everything. #You know if something actually happened to his brother he would never ever forgive himself for putting the bad vibes out there. #Third time skip was the hardest because there was so many possible flavours of jokes here. Day 8/9 was a personal favourite. #day 14 was also funny (week by week). I think the debate on 'how long does lwj take to catch feelings' is more or less: #'how long does it take for him to arrive at a particular stage of grief and yearning (and awareness of it all) #This is a symphony. There is an act by act structure. Every day he is fighting to keep his old sensibilities. He is losing so badly. #(I'll be returning to the main comic soon but there is more of this AU to come!)

[spirkbitch]

i love spock with cats just like everyone and i don’t know how much y’all know about cat body language but i felt this would be important to share

this cat is extremely happy (understandable), she’s slow blinking (sign that she’s content/comfortable) and even making biscuits a little bit (the way she clenched her paws like she’s kneading, another sign of comfort/that she trusts the person she’s with)

and i can’t find any other clips but you can tell the whole episode that the cat actor is just so excited to be there

anyways that wasn’t really important i just think it’s nice

#star trek #star trek tos #tos spirk #tos #tos spock #spock #leonard nimoy #this scene makes me so happy #every time there’s animals spock is trying to hide how much he loves them #when spirk gets married jim gets spock a cat #that’s canon i just decided #i seriously can’t stop giggling at this gif #it’s so cute he looks so serious petting the kitty #and the cat is just absolutely vibing #i bet she was purring too #i love cats so much #and i love spock so much #this is perfect #my heart feels full when i look at this #me spock

[monty-glasses-roxy]

HALLOWEEN GAME TIME!!! WE'RE GOING TRICK OR TREATING!!!

ON THE DAY OF HALLOWEEN ask me or anyone else that's reblogged this, "trick or treat" and you shall recieve a random thing in your trick or treater bucket! What thing?

THAT'S UP TO WHO'S BLOG DOOR YOU'RE KNOCKING ON!!

A little doodle of their blorbo? An incorrect quote? A drawing of a little cat? A fun fact about bees? A little drabble (100 words I mean but do as you will) for a random thing? A photo of their pet dog? A headcanon? A fic recommendation? A random meme? An OC? A link to their current favourite song? A nice, virtual slap in the face? A trick? A treat? WHO KNOWS!!! NOT YOU OR ME THAT'S FOR SURE!!! (Just no screamers or shit like that of course lets not forget that lmao)

Why am I saying this now instead of on the day of the game? So anyone else that wants to play has plenty of time to prepare a little handful of things for the trick or treaters!!

Remember, it doesn't have to be anything big!!! You can be the blog that's giving everyone images of rotisserrie chicken you found on google, or you can be the blog that's giving everyone pictures of your cat if you want!! This is a low spoons and low stress game so do whatever you want to do that's easy for you!! Be a mix of everything or just give a 'hi!' it doesn't matter, it's all in good fun!! And we can trick or treat each other too, of course. Not as fun if you can't get any tricks or treats too, right? Anyone can trick or treat and anyone can be trick or treated!

I recommend making/queueing a post on the day so everyone knows you're playing btw (anyone that reblogs this post will get one off me too if they don't say otherwise in tags and if I remember I said this)

FOR TRICK OR TREATERS!!!

All you gotta do is send an ask with 'trick or treat' in it on Halloween! Halloween day!! 31st of October!! Day of spooky!! That's it!! (And if you go on anon no one will know if you come back again but I didn't tell you that lmao) I'll be answering any I get when it's Halloween in my timezone and I'm sure I won't be the only one so if you ask earlier, hang tight! It's probably not Halloween yet or they don't have time just yet cause it's a Tuesday! I believe that's everything so...

Have fun guys!!

#halloween game #yeah I know this is the kind of thing that circles every year btw #but I can't for the life of me remember anyone actually doing it :( #so here's a game!! #I will try my damn best to do it so stay tuned for that!!! #I'll make a little mix of things to share it'll be fun! #plenty of time to build up a little collection of low spoons stuff I think #honestly a great way to get myself back into things probably #we'll see!

[manzanamarim]

Gay Lawyers and Weird Girls for y’all ;) Mia Fey please call me

#marim's art #ace attorney #phoenix wright ace attorney #pwaa #phoenix wright #maya fey #miles edgeworth #wrightworth #narumistu #ema skye #mia fey #pearl fey #dahlia hawthorne #lana skye #franziska von karma #ini miney #every time she did the thing I thought of the eto bleh meme #doodling is how I keep myself sane until I get my hands on Apollo justice trilogy #that and playing aai1 in my es emulator whoops #I love doodling a bunch of characters to try and figure out how I’m going to draw each of them hehe

[buggachat]

honestly just in general it's very exhausting to try to analyze media that is literally meant to be analyzed, only for the replies to be filled with people arguing not against your analysis, but against the premise that the media can be analyzed at all.

i don't even know what to say about it without starting to really betray my frustration, so i'll just settle with— just don't engage with analysis posts? I'm serious. if you're typing a response to a media analysis post, reread what you've written and ask yourself "is this comment/response against the very concept of analyzing the media at all?" and if the answer is yes then delete it all and go sit in the shame corner. throw your curtains away if you want to so bad and stop telling me that I'm not allowed to hum and haw at the fact mine are blue

#ml fandom salt #I suppose #and no amount of adding ''stop telling me to not analyze the media'' on my analysis posts stops people from saying it anyway #and yes. the leaks count. stop telling me that the existence of outdated leaks invalidates all analyses of the completed material #and no. just like every other time i've said this. me saying that i don't care about the leaks is not an invitation for you to try to #convince me to care about the leaks #do i tag this spoilers? it feels weird to. i mean this to be a vague overarching thing about media in general #also of course any ''or maybe the writers are just bad'' arguments ALSO are included in this. YOU guys have been my bane since FOREVER #would you guys consider commenting on fanart with ''umm.... drawing seems pretty pointless lmao'' rude? #i know this is not the first time i've made a post like this and i'm sure it won't be the last