#i usually just play bloodborne in my down time and talk to a few people

[wingsofkpop]

Hiraeth - I.IX: Bloodborne

pairing(s): Hybrid!Im Jaebeom x Reader, Witch!Mark Tuan x Reader, Werewolf!Jackson Wang x Reader, Vampire!Park Jinyoung x Reader, Supernatural!Got7 x Reader

genre: Supernatural!AU, Dark Magic!AU, heavy Angst, eventual Smut

warnings: Mature language, mentions of death and murder, violence, explicit descriptions of fighting, blood and gore, some satanic themes, mentions of trauma, etc. 

word count: 6,5k

synopsis: How far are you willing to go to find out the truth about Moon Dye Bay?…

chapter directory

“—so once Youngjae channels enough power from the blood moon tonight, he’ll be able to lower the veil between the Other Side and the physical plane long enough to resurrect your spirit into a mortal body.” You explain, glancing over your notes at the unusually quiet figure sitting on your bed. Something about his expression seems distant—almost sorrowful. 

After your return from the hospital, and after the long chat with your roommate convincing her that your absence all night was due to a last minute work emergency, a certain ghost phased into your bedroom. You wouldn’t allow yourself to be this concerned, but during his visits, Jackson usually never shuts up. If you were all alone with no one to talk to, you probably wouldn’t either. 

You lower your notebook and shake your head, “You haven’t said one word since you showed up. What’s wrong?”

Jackson purses his lips, as if nervous to relay the thoughts swirling through his mind. Another brief moment of silence passes before he finally murmurs, “It’s the witches. They’re starting to get suspicious again… I don’t know how long I have before they figure out I’ve been crossing over to this plane.”  

“Then we’ll just have to bring you back before they find out.” You grab your phone from your desk, checking through your notifications to see if a certain siphoner has yet responded to your dozens of texts and calls. No dice. 

You haven’t been able to reach Youngjae since yesterday morning, which is odd considering the guy is the type to respond within three seconds of receiving a message. It would be one thing if he let you know that he’s busy, but it’s complete radio silence. It’s not like Youngjae at all. 

“You’re worried about something.” 

Your eyes dartup at Jackson’s observation, discovering his concerned gaze focused on you. 

“It’s Youngjae.” You sigh, “I haven’t heard from him, but I’m sure he’s just busy brewing potions or something.” You expect to earn at least a chuckle from the ghost, but his silence remains along with the blank expression along his face. His same distant demeanor also lingers, and this time, your concern grows to panic. “What is it, Jackson? What’s going on?” 

“I didn’t want to say anything cause I was sure it was all in my head, but I feel that something is… weird.” 

“Weird?” 

“It’s hard to explain.” He continues, “But as a ghost, I can feel things around me… like right now, the universe just seems off—” His voice cuts out as he frantically shakes his head, “Anyway, I just want you to be careful. Mark used to tell me that disrupting the balance of nature is like opening Pandora’s box.” 

“Yeah. We will be doing none of that.” You set your phone down before crossing the room to kneel in front of Jackson. A grin lifts to your lips as you hum to the ghost, “So what do you feel when you’re around me?...” 

Jackson raises an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?” 

“You said you feel things around you… Do you feel anything special when you’re with me?” 

You’re surprised at the eagerness that swells in your chest as he takes his time to think over your question. The inquiry was supposed to be a joke to lighten the mood, but you’re actually curious about your companion’s ghastly perceptions. After maybe a minute or two, Jackson sends you a small smile: 

“I feel… light.” 

“Light? What is that supposed to mean?” 

“You have this aura around you.” Jackson affirms, mindlessly reaching forward thumb at your cheek. You obviously can’t feel his touch, but something in your gut tells you that if you could, you would feel nothing but warmth. “I feel powerful when I’m with you…” 

“Is that a good thing?”  

He grins, “I think so.” 

You continue to stare at one another for a moment, almost attempting to read the depths in each other’s eyes. It’s not until a harsh knock resonates from the front door do you finally break the gaze, offering Jackson a final hum, “I’ll bring you back as soon as I can. I promise.” 

Jackson nods, “I know you will. But like I said, please be careful.” 

“I will. See you soon.” You wait for Jackson to disappear completely before exiting your bedroom, cursing Sana for leaving you to deal with whoever is incessantly banging on your door. It’s probably the old lady from across the hall wanting to borrow another cup of sugar. You roll your eyes at the thought and open the door, ready to politely decline your neighbor’s request.

Your words die on your tongue—definitely not the old lady from across the hall.  

“Mark? What are you—?” 

“What? Not expecting to see me?” Mark’s hostile growl takes you by surprise, as does the furious expression etched along his features. “That’s not surprising since you’ve been ignoring me.” 

“I’ve been busy.” 

“Oh. I’m sure.” 

You cross your arms over your chest. “What the hell is your problem?” 

“You wanna know what my problem is?” Mark takes a step closer to you before pointing a finger in your direction, “The fact that you not only lie to me, but you go behind my back and then deliberately avoid me for days on end.” 

“What are you even talking about, Mark?” 

“I’m talking about you and Youngjae playing God and resurrecting Jackson.” 

Your muscles instantly freeze, as if Mark had taken a tub of ice water and thrown it over your head. The annoyance inside your chest shifts to guilt, and your once cold features cannot help but soften. 

You shake your head, “Mark, I—” 

“Do you know how dangerous it is to bring someone back from the dead, (Y/N)?” Mark lowers his voice, but his tone remains as frigid as his gaze. “Do you know the consequences that happen when you fuck with the balance of nature?” 

“I get that, but—it’s complicated, Mark… There’s things you don’t understand—” 

“I don’t understand!?” He scoffs, “Last I checked, I’m the goddamn witch here, (Y/N)! You know nothing about magic and its sacrifice!” 

“Maybe not, but I do know that there is a chance I could bring Jackson back!” You shake your head again, “Please, just give me a chance to explain—” 

“No. Because it’s not fucking happening.” Mark interrupts, furiously shaking his own head. “I forbid you to do this.” 

It’s like a switch goes off in your mind. Your guilt immediately transforms, but this time, it configures into rage: 

“You forbid me!? Who the flying fuck do you think you are!?”

“I won’t sit back and allow you to get yourself killed—!” 

“And last I checked, you don’t have the right to control what I do and the decisions I make!” You seethe, stepping further back into your apartment. “This is my choice. I’m resurrecting Jackson whether you like it or not.” 

“Fine! Get yourself fucking killed for all I care!” The witch raises his hands in mock surrender. “At least then I won’t have to deal with your reckless, moronic ass!”

“Fuck you, Mark.” You don’t allow the witch to say anything further and slam the door in his face. Your chest remains unbearably heavy, both physically and mentally, but you ignore the sweltering emotions and begin to traverse around the apartment, gathering your bag and other assorted belongings. 

A confused and rather concerned Sana emerges from her bedroom a few seconds later. “Are you okay? What was with all that yelling?” 

“Don’t worry about it,” You huff, shoving your arms through the sleeves of your jacket. “Just Mark being a douchebag, as per usual.” 

“Where are you going?” 

“To find Youngjae.”

“Isn’t it kind of late?” 

“I’m an adult, Sana.” You snap before throwing your bag over your shoulder. “Don’t wait up for me.” 

Similar to Mark, you don’t allow Sana the chance to question you further and sprint out the front door, praying that Youngjae will be up to bringing Jackson back in the next few hours. 

☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾

Mark has never exercised the greatest control over his emotions. It first began when he was twelve, after his dad walked out on his mom. He found himself sobbing his eyes out some days, and beating the shit out of other kids on others. His mood ranged from intense rage to extreme depression. There was no in between. 

In an effort to help, his mom enrolled him in a program designed to teach teens how to handle their emotions. But to no one’s surprise, the therapy didn’t do shit and Mark continued to initiate fights and cry himself to sleep most nights. He never understood why he felt this way—he still doesn’t, to be honest. His dad and him were never close, nor did he ever really care about his sudden departure. Maybe he was just an angry kid with depression. Maybe it was something else. 

It wasn’t until his mom was killed did Mark begin to pull his life together, which also happened to be around the same time he met the too-friendly, homeschooled kid with an ego the size of Jupiter, Jackson Wang. Sure, the two of them butted heads every so often, but with Jackson being a werewolf, Mark learned the importance of managing the chaos within. ‘Emotion is like a loaded gun,’ he remembers Jackson once said, ‘If you let yourself pull the trigger without first aiming down sights, then you risk sinking a bullet into someone you love.’ Those words remain with him—remind him what means to stay in control. 

But when it involves the people he loves, Mark can’t always regulate the ticking bomb counting down in his soul. 

An ache settles in his chest as he recalls the passionate fire in your gaze. There’s always been some parts of you that reminds Mark of his past friend, specifically your stubbornness and inability to think before you act. He’s never found himself hating those parts of you until now—and he shouldn’t, Mark knows that, but he’s so fucking angry and so fucking scared of losing yet another one of the most important people in his life.

He’s experienced his fair share of loss, but losing you… It would break him. Completely. 

Mark tries to push the intrusive thoughts from the forefront of his mind and focus on navigating his way through the dark maze of headstones and crumbling tombs. Right after you slammed your front door in his face, he received a text from Youngjae summoning him, Jisung and Lia to an emergency meeting at the edge of the cemetery. He’s still mad at the siphoner for assisting with your reckless scheme, but he won’t allow his pettiness to interfere with the safety of the coven. 

A sigh falls from his lips—he does regret ever saying those ending words to you though… because what if they’re the last ones you hear from him. 

‘I’m so sorry, Jackson…’ 

Mark’s misery is forgotten when he notices a group of people up ahead. He recognizes Lia, Jisung and Youngjae flocked together inside a chalk-white circle surrounded by lit torches. For a moment, Mark wonders if they’re in the middle of performing some type of seance, but his curiosity dwindles into confusion when he grows aware of the panic present in each set of their features. 

He breaks into a sprint to cover more distance, approaching the strangely placed trio in no time. At the sight of him, Lia immediately bursts into tears, furthering the anxiety bubbling at the back of his throat. 

“What the hell is going on!?” 

“Hyung! You have to get out of here right now!” Mark notices the swollen, angry flesh of Youngjae’s bottom lip as he speaks, along with the ugly bruise underneath his left eye. 

“What happened?” He ignores the siphoner’s warnings, attempting to reach inside the circle and grab Lia’s arm. However, his hand is met with resistance—a boundary spell. “Who did this to you?” 

Lia sobs, “Just go, Mark! Before he hurts you!” 

“Before who hurts me!? What are you—” His demands die in his throat as another figure appears from behind a large, marble gravestone. He immediately recognizes the newcomer, which sends even more confusion through his veins. “Seo Changbin? What the hell is this?” 

“It’s an emergency meeting, hyung.” Mark feels his entire body freeze when the familiar, conniving voice enters his ears. “You had me a little worried… I almost thought you wouldn’t show up.” 

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.” Mark whirls around to face a smirking Minho cockily leaning against the wall of an empty tomb. “What kind of game do you think you’re playing, Minho?”

The younger witch shrugs before pushing off the wall to pace around the area. As he draws closer and closer, Mark can spy an ancient, navy blue ring sitting heavily on his forefinger. He’s never seen any piece of jewelry like it before, but something in his gut told him it wasn’t just a simple ring—and that he’s definitely in some kind of trouble. 

“Mind explaining to me what we’re doing here? Or are you just going to continue pacing around the place like a cocky bastard?” 

“Tonight is a special night, hyung… You wanna know why?” He watches Minho point to the night sky, “In just a few minutes, the moon will drift into the Earth’s shadow and the light of the sun will reflect across the moon’s surface, thus causing a blood moon… It’s actually pretty cool—” 

“For Christsake, Minho—get to the goddamn point.”

“You know, for years I had to deal with all your bullshit excuses and justifications of putting our coven in danger—it was only a matter of time until one of us ended up dead, don’t you think?” 

A bitter memory of Nayeon’s corpse resurfaces, but Mark remains silent. 

“Everyone was too fucking blind, but I saw right through you.” Mark doesn’t move a muscle when Minho suddenly approaches, crowding his space until his nose is mere inches from brushing his own. The younger witch’s harsh glare bleeds into his soul as he continues, “You’re a poor fucking excuse for a leader, hyung—a leader who can’t even protect his own people.” 

“And you think you can do better, huh?” Mark growls, glaring his own daggers into Minho’s gaze. “You have no fucking clue what it takes to run this coven… Admit it, you’re just pissed they chose me over you.” 

“And look where that got them.” 

“You need to cut out whatever petty bullshit this is and let Youngjae, Jisung and Lia go.” Mark murmurs, “Whatever problems you have are with me, so let’s just talk it out, okay?” 

“Oh, Mark-hyung…” Minho’s gaze is unwavering from his own as he lifts a hand to rest on Mark’s shoulder. It’s a second too late that Mark realizes it is the same hand in which holds the mysterious ring: 

“I’m over talking it out.” 

Youngjae’s screams and Lia’s sobs echo in his ears along with the words that spill from Minho’s lips—they’re foreign, but Mark recognizes the spell right away. He tries to squirm and fight against the perpetrator’s grip, but another pair of hands keep his body in place—Changbin. 

Bit by bit, Mark feels the buzz of his magic lift from his veins like a flock of doves. His limbs grow weak and his head fuzzy. Soon enough, his own knees no longer bear the strength to hold his weight. Once both Minho and Changbin release him, Mark collapses to the ground—empty and unable to rise. 

“What did you do to him!?” Mark hears Jisung’s voice for the first time, although his brain is not fully able to comprehend the inquiry. 

“I took his magic. He won’t be needing it anymore.” 

Mark manages to find enough strength to reposition his body in a way that allows him to watch both Minho and Changbin approach a makeshift altar composed of an old, concrete coffin. Through the blur of his vision, he catches the witch stirring some kind of crimson mixture—likely blood. Minho looks to the moon, which is slowly brightening to a shade of maroon, before resting his gaze on his companion: 

“It’s time.” He offers the mixture to Changbin, “Once you drink this, I can begin the transformation.” 

“And you’re sure this spell will give me everything I need to take down the Primes?” 

“One hundred percent.” 

Take down the Primes?… Fucking hell. 

“Minho! Don’t do this!” Mark can’t make out his own voice between the ringing of his ears and the beating of his heart, but he can only hope they’re audible enough for his audience. “The transformation—it won’t work!” 

Youngjae shakes his head. “I don’t understand… What are you talking about, hyung?” 

“He’s going to try to recreate the spell I used on Jackson on Changbin.” With a huff and a puff, Mark pushes himself to his hands and knees. He attempts to crawl forward, but the spinning of his head sends his body sprawling along the ground once again. He abandons any more thoughts of movement and speaks to Minho directly, “It will kill him—do you understand me!? You can’t—” 

“You failed because you couldn’t draw enough power to complete the transformation.” Minho doesn’t even bother to look in his direction, “It will work—I know it will.”

Understanding there’s no possible way to convince the witch, Mark looks to the werewolf instead, “I’m warning you, Changbin! If you go through with this, you will die!” 

“Don’t listen to him. Just drink the blood.” 

“No! For fucksake, this is suicide!” 

“Think of Jackson.” Minho murmurs to a torn Changbin, reaching across the altar to place a supportive hand on his shoulder. “Do it for him.” 

“Changbin, don’t—!” 

Mark watches in horror as Changbin throws back the mixture and downs its entirety in two gulps. His heart shatters like the glass vial the werewolf launches to the ground. He peers to his left, discovering the same shocked expressions across Youngjae, Jisung and Lia’s faces, and shakes his head in defeat as Lia begins to sob again. 

“Filia maximo… Filia maximo… Morsus, morsus—” The wind begins to screech as Minho chants, tearing at Mark’s hair and nudging at his clothes, as if pleading for him to stop the spell. But there’s nothing he can do. For once, Mark is powerless. “—morsus… Advenio donec duo est revertus mors…” With a loud scream, Changbin collapses to the earth. He squirms and writhes in pain underneath the flaming light of the moon—and Mark can’t help but attempt to block out the snaps of his cracking bones. 

The scene seems to last for hours until Changbin eventually grows silent. Mark takes the time to catch his breath, unable to control his lungs over the anxiety, fear and nausea lurking through his veins. He wants to look away from the still werewolf, but his gaze is as frozen as the rest of his body. 

His eyes burn with tears of rage—Changbin is dead. Another person died because of his own fucking stupidity. Mark should have known this would happen again. He should have stopped it. He should have—

His thoughts disappear as Changbin suddenly gasps for air. For a moment, he claws at the earth as if attempting to ground himself, before he finally, albeit shakily, climbs to his feet. Minho cautiously approaches the wolf, peering down at the shorter male with a gaze full of concern. 

“How do you feel?...” 

“I feel…” Changbin flexes his fingers again, before closing them into tight fists. The moonlight illuminates the crimson glow of his irises and the sharpness of his long, black fangs as he faces the witch—a malicious smirk spreading along his lips as he chuckles, “I feel like kicking some ancient Prime ass.” 

Mark can’t find the strength to watch anymore and allows his head to lower to the earth. Just before his eyes flutter shut, he swears he spots the movement of shadows from behind a nearby headstone. But before he can confirm his suspicions, his head takes one final spin and the world grows dark. 

☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾

June 13th, 1769 — As much as I enjoy the atmosphere of Paris, I believe it is time to progress onto another part of the world. Some of the townsfolk are beginning to grow suspicious, considering I appear twenty years younger than my supposed age. Nevertheless, I will not mind a new start elsewhere. Jaebeom, on the other hand, will be a terror to convince. As he claimed last time I brought the idea to light, ‘There will never be a place more beautiful than Paris.’

But I know he is not through playing with his newest toy—Tzuyu. 

I set sail for the newlands tomorrow at sunrise. Whether my brother decides to accompany me or not is solely his preference. It would be pleasant to spend some time apart—to spend some time in peace—but I know, with many complaints and reluctance, Jaebeom will board the ship tomorrow. Wherever I traverse, he follows, and vice versa. We are family, after all. 

I will miss Notre Dame the most. I have grown used to visiting the Cathedral and repenting my wrongdoings to the high priest. Of course, I am forced to erase his memory of our talks each time, but it is nice to confess. It lifts a weight off of the shoulders, takes away a small portion of the guilt. If there is a god, he would never allow a creature like me to walk amongst his heavens—but at least I can salvage the lingering hope left inside of my soul. Speaking of hope, I thought I saw a woman that resembled Irene during my daily visit to the church. I find it amusing that after all these years, my heart continues to yearn for her presence. She was truly special—I wonder if she ever thought the same of me. 

I’ve heard some of the sailors refer to a shore in the newland that has yet to be claimed. It may be the perfect location for Jaebeom and I to start anew.  I can only hope it is as beautiful as people say. Maybe I will construct a place of worship as stunning as the Cathedral. 

Isn’t that ironic?... A vampire who believes in faith. 

Jinyoung finishes the entry with a sigh, welcoming the nostalgia that spreads through his thoughts like an old friend. It seems just yesterday that he recorded his first thoughts about the land that would become Moon Dye Bay. He shakes his head, carefully setting the old journal back on the bookshelf. 

He never did build that church. 

“Reminiscing again, brother?” The moment is ruined when a certain hybrid’s snicker reaches his ears. Jinyoung rolls his eyes as Jaebeom takes residence beside him, dragging his fingers along the spines of Jinyoung’s other diaries. “We did have some great times back in the 18th century… Remember our battles during the French Revolution? I rather enjoyed King Louis and Marie Antoinette’s executions.” 

“You enjoy anything that involves bloodshed.” 

“Don’t be so resentful, Jinyoungie. It’s not my fault that the queen had you in her interests.” 

Jinyoung shakes his head before retreating to his desk to fix himself a drink. “The woman was as shallow as a poor soul’s ego. She was taken with any man who’d pay her the time of day. It was a miracle her death came as quickly as it did.” 

“Careful there. You sound like me.” 

Jinyoung deliberately chooses not to respond to Jaebeom’s comment and proceeds to pour two glasses of bourbon. He ignores his companion’s wide smirk as he hands him one of the drinks. Both the vampire and the hybrid simultaneously take a sip, peering at one another over the rims of their cups. Jaebeom is the first to break the silence with a pleased inhale and a hum: 

“You returned pretty late last night. I hope you used protection during your time with (Y/N).” 

“Mind your tongue, hyung.” Jinyoung warns, “I brought (Y/N) to the hospital after the attack—I trust you took care of Tzuyu?” 

Jaebeom smirks. “Of course. She won’t be alive long enough to target your newest Maria Antonia again.” 

About to inhale another sip of his bourbon, Jinyoung pauses to mull over the answer. He lowers his glass to his side before delivering Jaebeom a confused expression and a murmured inquiry, “What do you mean she won’t be alive?” 

“Tzuyu and I got into an argument and, well, she pissed me off.” Jinyoung watches Jaebeom down the rest of his drink. 

“Please tell me you didn’t bite her, Jaebeom-hyung.” He curses at the widening of Jaebeom’s smirk, slamming his glass back down on his desk with enough force to crack its exterior. “When I told you to deal with her, I didn’t mean condemn her to a fate of pain. If you wished to kill her, you could have at least been merciful and done it quick.” 

“Last I checked, you said it yourself not to be kind.” Jinyoung follows Jaebeom as he pours himself another drink and collapses onto a brown, leather sofa. He tips his glass toward him with a smile before continuing, “I thought the punishment fit the crime, and we wouldn’t want to put helpless, human (Y/N) in danger again, would we?” 

“You turned it off, didn’t you?” Jinyoung realizes, “Does holding onto your humanity wound you that badly, hyung? That you have no choice but to wish it away?” 

“If I remember correctly, I’m not the only one that can’t hold onto their humanity… How many people did you kill in the ‘20s alone? One thousand? Maybe two?” 

Jinyoung shakes his head, “I’m not that person anymore.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” In the blink of an eye, Jaebeom is in front of Jinyoung—his glass in pieces on the floor beside him. He leans in until Jinyoung can taste the alcohol of his breath on his tongue, then whispers darkly, “You can lie to yourself all you fucking want, Jinyoung. But deep down, you’ll always know what you are… let’s just hope (Y/N) never finds out, hm?” 

At the mention of your name, Jinyoung’s anger expands. He suppresses the urge to take the table beside him and smash it over the hybrid’s head, and instead inhales a deep breath. Jaebeom is only trying to provoke him—and he refuses to be a pawn in his foolish games. 

“You will remember what it was like to feel human again.” Jinyoung sighs, “For your sake, I hope your remembrance comes sooner rather than later.” 

Jaebeom tsks, “Being human is overrated.” 

“He said the same thing about fate.” Both Jinyoung and Jaebeom whirl around at the appearance of a third voice. Jinyoung feels his blood begin to boil at the sight of the familiar vampire in the doorway, once again, suppressing his desire to launch a piece of furniture in her direction. “Ironically, fate and humanity are a package deal.” 

Jaebeom growls, “What the fuck are you doing here, Tzuyu?” 

“I came to try and convince you to give me your blood.” Tzuyu coughs, and Jinyoung swears he can hear the rattle of her bones. “But judging by your attitude, that’s obviously going to be harder than I thought.” 

“You have courage for showing your face again.” Jinyoung crosses his arms with a dark hum, “Especially so soon after you nearly killed (Y/N).”

“It wasn’t my intention to kill her. I just wanted to send a message.” 

“Is that so?” With a malicious glare, Jinyoung steps forward and tilts his head toward the vampire, “And what kind of message was that?” 

“For (Y/N) to stay away from Jaebeom.” Another violent cough wracks through Tzuyu’s thin form, causing a light stream of blood to splatter from her lips. She wipes her mouth with a ragged breath before continuing, “Look, I did it for her own good. We all know his track record at keeping humans alive.” 

“You did it to protect her!?” Jaebeom cackles, “Wow! That’s fucking priceless!” 

“Say what you will, you both know I’m right.” Tzuyu says, propping herself up against a nearby bookshelf. “It’s either she ends up dead or is turned into a vampire—then again, there’s not much of a difference between the two, is there?” 

“I would die before I allow (Y/N) to come to any harm.” 

“The only issue with that is you can’t die, Jinyoung.” Jinyoung doesn’t take his eyes off Tzuyu as she grabs a bottle of brandy from the top shelf. It takes her literal seconds to unscrew the cap and down a good portion of the container. She licks her lips and says, “I’m sorry I attacked (Y/N), okay? I went too far. I won’t do it again.” 

“You think an apology is enough to save your life?” Jaebeom snickers before snatching the alcohol from the vampire, “Think again, sweetheart.” 

“What do you want from me, Jaebeom? Does seeing me die a slow, painful death bring you joy?” 

He shrugs, “No one mourns for the wicked.” 

“Is he always this much of an asshole?” 

Jinyoung chuckles, “Pretty much.” 

“Great.” The vampire breathes out a sigh and cards her fingers through her hair. After a brief moment of silence, she directs her attention back to Jaebeom and pleads—her voice packed with desperation and fear, “What can I do to convince you to let me live? Please, Jaebeom… I don’t want to die.” 

“You should have thought about that before you touched what I told you not to.” Jinyoung remains quiet as Jaebeom lifts a hand to grasp Tzuyu’s jaw. The dying visitor remains unphased, proceeding to glare at the hybrid with hateful, yet oddly sorrowful eyes. “I suggest you show yourself out before I end your life sooner.” 

“You’re going to lose everything one of these days, Jaebeom.” Tzuyu shakes her head sadly, wiping away a layer of cold sweat from her forehead. “You’re going to lose everyone, even your brother, and you’re going to be alone. For an eternity.” 

“Save the monologue.” Jaebeom waves dismissively, taking a sip of the brandy before returning it back to its shelf. “Petty isn’t a good look for you, baby.” 

“Fuck you, Jaebeom.” Tzuyu goes to stomp out the door, but something—someone blocks her path. The atmosphere changes when Jinyoung notices your panicked form, practically gasping for air and cross-eyed, standing in the doorway. He immediately speeds to your side without hesitation, grasping your hands in hopes to ground you. 

He stares into your eyes, “What is it, (Y/N)? What’s wrong?” 

“You and Jaebeom have to get the hell out of here! Right now!” 

Jaebeom shakes his head in confusion, “What the hell are you talking about?” 

“I don’t know what exactly happened but Minho turned Changbin into this dark werewolf creature or-or something… I do know, however, that Changbin is on his way right now to kill you both.” Jinyoung steps back at the intensity of your explanation, unable to think of a response over the roar of his thoughts. Through his peripheral vision, he can spot the same type of speechlessness across Jaebeom’s face. 

Not again… 

“That’s stupid… You realize nothing can kill them, right?” Tzuyu scoffs. 

“This is different.” You urge, “I saw Changbin—he wasn’t like anything I’ve ever seen before… The spell that Minho used, it was-was—” 

“Dark magic.” Jinyoung finishes blankly, “The spell was dark magic.” 

“Yes… which means you and Jaebeom need to leave town as fast as you possibly can before—” 

“I don’t think anyone is going anywhere, (Y/N).” Jinyoung’s entire body grows stiff as a new voice echoes throughout the study. He cautiously turns his head, discovering none other than the young werewolf in question resting among the shadows. His eye also catches the open window a few inches away, and he curses himself for ever wanting to feel the nightly draft. 

Changbin’s smirk is as dark as his eyes. 

“What?... Not going to offer me a drink?” 

☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾

“(Y/N)! Get out of here! Now!” Jaebeom hears Jinyoung scream as the werewolf suddenly launches forward, knocking his brother into the bookshelf behind him. The wood completely splinters beneath the impact, raining down an array of books and planks on Jinyoung’s body. Changbin turns to Jaebeom next, but the hybrid is ready—and pissed off. 

Jaebeom speeds toward the intruder and delivers a swift kick to the gut. Changbin flies back at the force, crashing back through the window with a loud growl. Sensing the urgency in time, Jaebeom quickly throws Jinyoung’s immobile body over his shoulder and urges both you and Tzuyu out the study door. 

“Come on! We gotta go!” 

“Jaebeom! What the hell is happening!?” He ignores Tzuyu’s fearful ask and proceeds to lug Jinyoung through the maze of hallways and down the staircase, you and the female vampire hot on his heels. He doesn’t know exactly where he’s going, but he makes his way to the parlor where he props Jinyoung up against a nearby chair before turning to you: 

“You need to leave. I will deal with this.” 

“No way. I’m not going anywhere.” Jaebeom curses your stubbornness inside his head, sending a stern glare in your direction. Your expression remains fixated, and he can’t help but wish your presence in any other situation but now. 

“I can’t protect you right now—” 

“And I can’t sit back and watch you get yourselves killed!” You shake your head indignantly, “I’m staying!” 

“Fucking hell, (Y/N)! Get your ass out that door before I throw you out myself!” 

“Jaebeom, watch out!” At Tzuyu’s cue, a wooden branch comes soaring in through the window. Jaebeom immediately throws himself against you, effectively forcing your body to the ground to dodge the projectile. He can feel your fear through the trembling of your limbs and hurried breaths, but it only brings him more determination to tear apart his attacker. 

He shakes his head in surrender, “You stay on the fucking ground, understand? Don’t you fucking dare move a muscle.” He doesn’t bother to wait for a response and pushes himself back to his feet. 

Tzuyu is huddled in a corner, and Jinyoung has yet to awaken from his crash landing back in the study. Jaebeom tries to focus his senses on detecting the werewolf, but he can’t seem to hear anything past the beating of his own heart. He carefully makes his way over to the incapacitated vampire, attempting to force him back to consciousness. 

“Now is really not the time for a fucking nap, Jinyoung.” He hisses, “I swear to god, if I have to save your ass one more time—” Another wave of tree branches come crashing through the windows. Unfortunately, Jaebeom is not as quick and one catches his shoulder at just the right angle. He feels the wood sink into his flesh, painfully carving into his bones. With a low groan, Jaebeom manages to grab the makeshift stake and remove it in one hefty pull. 

He tosses it away with a yell, “You gonna hide like a little bitch!? Or are you gonna come out and fight like a man!?” 

“Be careful what you wish for, asshole!” Jaebeom turns just in time to discover the werewolf emerging from a shattered window. His blood boils when he notices the sadistic grin along the young kid’s face—he wonders how those teeth will look strewn across the parlor floor. 

Changbin comes at him fast, much faster than Jaebeom could have predicted. He manages to dodge a set of jabs, but he’s not so lucky when Changbin lands a heavy hit against the side of his face. Pain erupts through his jaw as he collapses to the floor, but Jaebeom doesn’t have the chance to dwell over it and rolls out of the way just as the werewolf attempts to stomp his nose. 

Jaebeom tries to speed away again, but like before, his counterpart is faster. Changbin manages to force him to the floor for a second time, pinning his body down with his own. Horrified, the hybrid watches as the werewolf’s eyes glow blood red and large, pitch black fangs emerge past his parted lips. Once again, he attempts to break free, but it’s no use—Changbin is too strong. 

Just when he believes the wolf’s fangs are going to sink into his neck, another form knocks Changbin away. Jaebeom hurriedly props himself on his arms in time to watch Tzuyu deliver a series of hits and kicks to the perpetrator, eventually slamming his head into a nearby armoire. Taking advantage of the moment, she turns from Changbin to Jaebeom instead: 

“Grab Jinyoung and (Y/N) and run!” She screams, “Get the hell of here!” 

Unable to move, Jaebeom remains as Tzuyu attempts to fight off the wolf. But with the combination of his ultimate strength and her weakness from Jaebeom’s venom, her defeat is inevitable. He watches in terror as Changbin sinks his teeth into the vampire’s arm before yanking her head forward and effectively snapping her neck. Jaebeom feels his insides practically soar with rage when the attacker tosses a comatose Tzuyu across the room like a useless toy. 

“I’ll kill you…” He sneers, allowing his own supernatural features to overtake his face. “I’ll fucking kill you…” 

Changbin shakes his head with a smirk, “I’d like to see you try.” 

Using the little agility he has left, Jaebeom grabs one of the branches and speeds toward the wolf. Due to Changbin’s movements, he misses his chest, but manages to stab the weapon in his stomach. Changbin releases a pained groan, allowing Jaebeom to take advantage of his surprise and land another array of uppercuts to his face. Just when he finally thinks he has the upper hand, his opponent blocks one of his hits and pins him against a wall with a hand around his throat. 

“Any last words, Prime?”

“You really think you can kill me?” Jaebeom growls, squirming against Changbin’s hold. 

“I know I can… Have fun rotting in Hell—fuck!” 

Shock spills through Jaebeom’s veins as the point of branch suddenly appears through the center of the wolf’s chest, splattering red across both of their bodies. Changbin’s grip releases, allowing the hybrid to quickly speed out of his reach. Once he’s a safe distances away, Jaebeom looks to his savior, discovering the one person he never expected to see—

You stand over Changbin’s body—chest heaving and bloodied hands trembling. Your eyes are glassy when Jaebeom meets your gaze, and for some reason, he feels the urge to go and pull your form into a tight embrace. Your voice, however, returns his mind to reality: 

“Did I… Did I kill him?” 

“I don’t think so.” Jaebeom answers, nursing his wound with his own shaky fingers. “We need to get out of here—get somewhere safe.” 

“Good idea.” You trudge over to where Jinyoung is still unconsciously laid across the chair. Jaebeom follows your lead and hurries over to a lifeless Tzuyu. “I know somewhere we can go… but I don’t think you’re going to like it.” 

“(Y/N)... There is an immortal, unkillable super wolf out to kill me and my brother currently in my living room…”  He snorts, maneuvering Tzuyu’s body into one arm and assisting you and Jinyoung with the other. 

“Trust me, anywhere is a hell of a lot better than here…”

#got7 #got7 fanfic #got7 fic #got7 imagines #got7 x reader #got7 angst #got7 smut #got7 au #im jaebeom #im jaebum x reader #im jaebeom fanfic #mark tuan #mark tuan fanfic #mark tuan x reader #jackson wang #jackson wang x reader #jackson wang fanfic #park jinyoung #park jinyoung x reader #park jinyoung fanfic #kpop fanfic #kpop au

[br4inr0tx]

Hi I was hoping for a homestuck character matchup?

I’m 5ft tall non-binary person with relatively pale skin, dyed red hair(soon to be dyed black again)that’s shaved on one side long on the other and green eyes that have the slightest tinge of gold around the pupil. I tend to leant more towards casual gothic attire but occasionally take in a more cottage core look if I’m feeling extra soft that day. I also am a practicing pagan who works with both Bastet and Loki.

According to my close friends my personality is a estranged mixture of protective mom and possessed teddy bear. Chaotic but caring and I’ve made it my job to make sure my friends are taking care of themselves, despite my constantly forgetting to do the same on my end due to my ADHD. I’m also obsessed with researching animals and how to take care of them as I’ve grown up with them my whole life.

As for hobbies I bounce between knitting, digital art, resin work, sewing, playing the Lyre (a small handheld harp), ocarina, and kalimba, I’m also a DM a homebrew D&D campaign for a few friends online, and I’m a bit of a variety gamer (ranging from bloodborne to animal crossing I’m all over the place).

Sorry if this is confusing to read at all I tried to keep it organized and cohesive.😅

Homestuck is one of my favorite fandoms to write for that I haven’t done in awhile, so I’d be happy to.

Your Homestuck matchup is.. Gamzee Makara !!

• So I had three people, but things started to pop in my head that pushed me away from them and choosing clown man.

• First I thought Eridan, but then I would think he’d tell you off for your witchcraft and say it’s science, and that may or may not get you pissed. I also thought of Sollux but he might look down on the stuff due to Eridan’s stuff. Then again he’s chill with Aradia, so I don’t really know anymore.

• I think you a Gamz would get along though. He’s chill with everything. Also this is Gamzee before he went crazy for coco puffs.

• Gamzee is usually described and depicted as tall and lanky. Homeless drug addict look ig?? Point is your small compared to and he thinks it makes you cuter. He called you a fairy before sent from the Messiahs and you may or may not of taken that lightly.

• The clowns as a whole seem to dig goth looks. Most of them are killer clowns and are tied to a very sinister religion. Sure, he isn’t one to talk sense he’s to lazy to put on anything aside from pajama pants and a t-shirt but if he did try to have an aesthetic he’d probably be some sort of saturated clown-core or weird-core; which meshes with you sense it’s considered "alternative". I’m sure you can help him style outfits, or even play dress up with him for a date idea.

• He also likes your piercings. There as common on Alternia as Earth, but still. He likes to touch them like a curious cat sometimes. Now that he has you he might ask you to take him out to get some of his own.

• The clown definitely believes in magic, and would have star eyes watching you preform witch stuff. Even just lighting a candle makes him go nuts. It’s kinda cute-

• He’s for sure a cuddle bug. Very clingy I imagine, though doesn’t get jealous much or even at all. He enjoys the warmth from your human body, and he hopes his cold body isn’t to much of a bother on your end.

• A personal headcanon I think about is Gamzee suffering from BPD. He’s not aware of it though, and so aren’t most of his friends. Since he’s drugged up most of the time it seems to mellow him out anyway. Point is your not alone suffering from whatever. He’s too chill to realize it anyway, and might just think your hyper and forgetful on the main.

• If you can’t tell I love Gamzee sm he needs love <33

• He loves three animals from Earth! They’re not to different from Lusii, and he might even think their Lusii at first too, so he’s not to handsy. One day you handed him a puppy you were allowed to hold a pet store and he had heart eyes. Tears formed from happiness too love he fell in love. Let’s just say you adopted the puppy and their name is Gamzee Jr.

• He knows Jack shit about your hobbies, though being the clingy clown he is it doesn’t matter what it is, he’ll throw himself into it. He’s always your biggest cheerleader.

• Especially for video games and D&D. He’d probably have the most fun with those.

• He’s very lax and quick to do whatever you’re doing. Doesn’t matter much what it is, and I think that’s the best thing you could ask for. Very adaptable boyfriend. 👍

[lilmissbeanie]

Navigation Haikyuu Masterlist

Tetsuro Kuroo x F!Reader. Fluffy Word Count ~ 4.3k Happy very late birthday to a dear friend of mine, I hope you had a great day girl! 

KozumeKenma is going live! 

The girl grinned at the notification that flashed up at the top of the screen of her phone. Her favourite streamer who she had been watching since he started streaming, she had just randomly found him playing some Minecraft years ago and decided to watch, she had been a loyal follower since that day, his streams always made her laugh and she loved how relaxed he was, she would often pop up in the chat, commenting on the game. Kenma had recognised her as one of his top fans, she had VIP status on his streams and he always said hi to her. Y/n had noticed that he was looking a little more run down recently, so she would often pop up telling him to hydrate or go get some food. She often used buying a treat for Kenma through streamer treats and he would often scold her for another pizza or ice cream Sundae, but Y/n knew he didn't mean it especially when it was her favorite pizza, she had been sending water with them too as the boy seemed to live on soft drinks. 

Opening her laptop she turned it waiting for it to load up, it usually took a little while now, she needed to get a new one, this one had to be about seven years old now so it was starting to get a little slow now but it still did the job for now anyway. While she waited, her fingers tapped against keyboard on her slightly cracked screen of her phone, 

Snowy Bluewolf: Happy wednesday! How are you?   

She heard Kenma chuckle, of course she was the first to message the chat. “Hey there, as always you are straight in the chat Wolfie.” Kenma gave a smile seeing her username, Snowy Bluewolf. “I’m good thank you, how is your lock down wednesday going?” 

Snowy Bluewolf:: Ah you know the usual, I got out of bed, moved to the couch to play on the ps4 and haven’t moved since unless to get food or another drink.   

“Ah, what have you been playing today?”   

Snowy Bluewolf: Just some bloodborne, still terrible at the game 

He chuckled, “It is a hard game wolfie, the offer still stands, anytime.”  She smiled, she had told him she had started playing bloodborne over the lockdown and that she was finding the game incredibly difficult and he had offered to help her out if need be. 

Snowy Bluewolf:: I heard orphan is a bitch to beat so I will give that one a few tries and then I may take you up on the offer! Thanks, Kenma!   

“Okay, the rest of you, stop being jealous, you all know Wolfie has been here since day one and she is super loyal follower so of course I’m going to talk to her!” Kenma rolled his eyes playfully at the jealous messages in chat, Kenma looked dead in the camera with a playful look in his golden eyes as he teased the rest of his followers “She is also one of my mods so watch it.”   

The girl laughed, she had never abused her power as a mod in his discord or in the twitch chat she only kicked those who didn’t obey the rules. She also was friends with Kenma. On discord they were quite good online friends now and they do play games together in private and they do have quite a laugh together.   

“Right let’s get on with the stream!” Kenma said getting straight into the game.   

Y/n had gotten her laptop all set up and ready now, she lounged out on the sofa, getting comfy for the Animal Crossing New Horizons stream.  She would lurk in the chat making sure that everyone was behaving, she rarely had to time out anyone, but she liked to keep an eye making sure everyone is behaving, over the eight years she has been a part of Kenma’s streams and been a mod she had only have to ban about a couple hundred people though she had timed out a lot more than that, she reckons she has hit over the thousands or more.   

She smiled as she watched Kenma update his island, trying to make it five stars, he had built his orchard, a zen garden and a flower garden, it was looking quite stunning so far. Had been streaming about an hour and half when she noticed he had yet to have a drink.   

Snowy Bluewolf: Oi, Kenma! Hydrate would you, have some H2O smh 

“Ergh, Wolfie you are starting to sound like my friend Kuroo.” He sighed, grabbing his water bottle, and having a drink. “Always telling me to drink something...” He tightens the cap on the bottle.   

Nekomasbestcaptain: I heard my name? What shit are you saying about me now? 

Y/n giggled at the fact his best friend had been lurking in Kenma’s stream this whole time, Y/n knew of Kuroo his best friend but had never spoken to him even as a mod all these years. “Nothing Kuroo, just saying Wolfie is as bad as you, reminding me to hydrate.”   

Nekomasbestcaptain: Wolfie? Oh, you mentioned her before. One of your mods, right? 

Kenma glanced at the chat quickly, before replying, “Yep.”   

Snowy Bluewolf: @Nekomasbestcaptain hi! I am the one making sure he stay’s hydrated and that he eats 

Nekomasbestcaptain: @Snowybluewolf haha thanks he does forget like all the time.   

For the rest of the stream Kuroo and Y/n chatted and flirted back and forth, Kenma rolling his eyes at his two best friends. 

To: Kenma  From: Kuroo  Sent: 04:14pm  Dude, how can I talk to wolfie other than through your streams? 

To: Kuroo  From: Kenma  Sent: 08:17pm  Discord.   

Kuroo had never downloaded an app so quick in his life, he created his account, got Kenma’s discord tag added to him then begged him to allow him to join his discord server before tracking down Y/n and private messaging her.   

The months of lockdown flew past, Y/n and Kuroo bonding over the course of three months, they had gotten to the point they would video call in bed usually with Y/n falling asleep while they chatted which he found super cute. 

Nekomasbestcaptain: Hey, Y/n seeing as lockdown is finally over, did you, maybe fancy going for dinner?   

Kuroo sat at his desk in his home office as he chewed on his lip as watched her name pop up at the bottom of the chat bar in discord, before disappearing and reappearing again.   

Snowy Bluewolf: Sure (*ﾉ▽ﾉ) I would love too. Rather than going out for now, maybe we could have a stay at home dinner, like we each cook a course and share one? 

The grin was spread across both their lips as they stared at their phones, the crushes they had developed over the past few months had come clear and they had slyly admitted it to one another and Kenma hated how they were with each other yet loved it cause they both deserved to be happy. Kuroo’s eyes sparkled as he read the message. 

Nekomasbestcaptain: Sure, who’s place shall we do it at? I don’t mind travelling to yours.   

Snowy Bluewolf: We can do it at my place and I’ll pop out and buy the food for the mains if you don’t me doing that course.   

Nekomasbestcaptain: Sounds like a plan. I'll make the starter and we could have a cheese board for dessert? 

Snowy Bluewolf: You are talking my language rooster boi! So, friday? 

Nekomasbestcaptain: Friday is perfect, 6?   

Snowybluewolf: 6 is perfect, I’ll send you my address on friday 

Y/n couldn’t help but squeal she had a date with this beautiful man, it may be a home date, but she had a date. Kuroo flopped back in his desk chair, he had done it he had finally asked her out.   

Friday rolled around in a flash both arguing over who was buying the cheese, in the end Y/n won to buy the cheese and crackers but Kuroo said he would be buying the wine. Y/n decided to make a sushi from scratch, Y/n wasn’t going to admit it, but she did want to show off a little. She had all the equipment she needs to make sushi at home she had just never used the sushi kit she had brought. 

Kuroo had spent days trying to work out what he would make for the starter, he finally decided on tempura. He wanted to make a mix of vegetables and fish. He knocked on her door, with a few bags in hand.   

The door opened shortly after, he was met by a h/c haired girl, her e/c eyes peering up at him, with a shy smile on her face, “Hey rooster boy.”   

“Hello Chibi-chan,” Since he discovered she was the same height as Kenma he had begun to call her Chibi-chan, he loved how a light blush covered her cheek bones. He smiled at her leaning down pecking her forehead, not chancing more yet seeing as this was the first date. Biting her lip, she stepped back gesturing for him enter, trying not let the blush erupt over her cheeks from the feeling of his lips against her forehead. It was a small innocent gesture that caused goosebumps erupted over her skin as she knew the small peck had a deeper meaning behind it. The pair had become comepletely and utterly smitten with one another.   

Showing him into the open plan kitchen sitting room “Can I get you anything to drink?” She asked leaning on the counter, “I brought some wine with me” Kuroo grinned pulling a bottle of wine out of one of the bags. Y/n smiled in return, opening the cupboard by the fridge pulling out to large crystal-clear wine glasses, while opened the bottle with the corkscrew. “What have you planned for starters?”   

Tetsu gray orbs met hers as he poured them a glass each, “I was thinking of making Tempura. What are you doing for mains?”   

The girl took a sip of the wine and sighed, her eyes widening at the smooth taste coating her tongue and the velvety texture running down her throat, “Well I was goinf to make sushi but I’m thinking screw the starter and mains and let’s just have a cheese and wine night, Tetsu this wine is delicious what is it?”   

“Cabinet Sauvignon by a California vineyard called dark horse,” Kuroo swirled the wine in his glass before smirking “and I won’t say no to a cheese night.”   

Y/n emptied out the carrier bags taking everything that needed to go in the fridge and placing it there, before giving him a playful look with raised eyebrows at the 3 other bottles of wine she removed from the bags. “Tetsurou are you planning to get me drunk this evening?”   

“What?” Elongating the word, “No! Whatever gave you that idea?!” He gasped, placing a hand over his chest struggling to keep the fake offended look on his face, before they both cracked up laughing, the pair relaxing in each other presence for the first time that evening. 

“So, cheese and wine night?” The nod of Kuroo’s head joined with the twinkle in his eye was all Y/n need to grab one of her wooden chopping boards, the crackers from the cupboard before she pulled the fridge door open and snatching the selection of cheese, she had brought earlier that day from the fromagerie, the strong-smelling shop contained a wide variety delicious French cheese. 

Y/n wasn’t sure what kind of cheese Kuroo would like she got some milder ones as well as some strong ones, the milder ones being those like brie, camembert and cantal, a cheddar like cheese, the stronger ones like Roquefort and stilton. She had gotten quite a mix of hard and soft cheese too. Taking all the cheese out of their respective wrappings before placing them on the wooden board.   

Kuroo watched each of her movements carefully from his seat at the breakfast bar, she did everything so gracefully and he was awestruck by how beautiful she was, he already thought she was when they video chatted but seeing her in person was a whole other ball game. He watched as she stood on her tiptoes, reaching into the cupboard to get down two small side plates, her flowing red blouse riding up slight allowing him to catch a glimpse of her smooth looking s/c skin of her waist. The way she bent over as she rummaged through the fridge looking for something, gave him perfect view of her arse in her skin-tight dark blue Levi's over the rim of his wine glass as he took another sip. He glanced away as she straightened up, turning around with some chutneys in hand, making it seem like he was admiring the apartment rather than the owner of it.

“Did up want to sit here or move to the sofa?” She asked gesturing towards the dark blue loveseat with a pair of matching armchairs that was placed opposite a flat screen TV on that was mounted to the wall with a light oak sideboard under it, he could see through the glass of the doors that it contained a PlayStation four, Nintendo switch and a range of games and DVDs, separating the two was a coffee table that matched the sideboard, light oak with a glass top. “Sure, the sofa sounds good.”   

Kuroo grabbed the two glasses wine and made his way after y/n to the sofa as she made her way over to the coffee table with the wooden board with the cheese on before they both when to grab the condiments and utensils.   

“Hey, google, shuffle wake up and smell the coffee.” Y/n called out to her google home which sat on the side board under the TV. 

“Okay, I’ll shuffle the Spotify playlist wake up and smell the coffee.”   

The gentle strumming of the guitar of Comethru by Jeremy Zucker played threw the Google home. The pair got comfy on the loveseat, letting the music flow through the apartment, they both snacked on the cheese and biscuits chatting and talking about their days at work. “It’s nice to not having to go into the office that often yet I do procrastinate while I’m at home.”   

“Oh god I am just the same and Kenma is not helping when he streams when I am trying to work.” The girl laughed as she sipped at her wine enjoying the smooth texture.

“I have Kenma’s streams playing as background noise these days myself.” Kuroo added with his own deep chuckle as he watched the girl drink her wine and the way the tip of her tongue darted out over red full lips, temptated to kiss them to discover how soft they are , “This one is nice.” Kuroo said grabbing another cracker with some brie with the fig chutney, Y/n hummed agreeingly in response as she had her own mouthful of blue cheese and cracker, taking a sip of her wine before responding, “The fig chutney does go well with brie, try the blue cheese with a sip of wine.”   

He did as she suggested and his eyes widened at the mixture of mouth-watering tastes, “damn that’s good.” He grabbed another chunk of the blue cheese, placing it on his plate and grabbed another cracker. The cheese board didn’t last long between them even with the six different cheeses they keep eating until there wasn’t even a crumb left. 

“Whoa, I’m stuffed.” Kuroo sighed as he flopped back on the cushions of the sofa, they had finished a bottle of wine and began the next. Copying his movement, Y/n made herself comfy on sofa, the music still softly playing in the background, 1994 by Alec Benjamine harmony filled the room. “God, I love cheese nights.”   

“I have decided, this,” He gestured to the empty plates, board and the bottles wine “Shall become our first tradition. We will have regular cheese nights.” Kuroo said, nodding in agreement with his own decision with a proud smile. A gentle smile crossed her rosy lips again, the look in her jewel-like eyes holding a matching look, nodding in agreement with his idea. Their first tradition, Y/n was filled with giddiness and tried not to squeal at the fact he wanted to start making traditions with her, “I’d like that.” 

His grey eyes watching as she curled her legs up under herself, her left elbow resting on the back of the couch, her chin resting on her on the palm of that hand and in her right hand held the wine glass which rested on her knee. The small ball jumping up on the sofa between them broke him out of his trance of checking her out. His eyes landed on the black kitten whose large blue eyes were briming with curiosity. “Oh, there you are Luddy.” Sitting up slightly, the h/c leaned forward enough to gently pet the kitten, the second Y/n fingers met the top of his head, Luddy began to purr, his blue eyes closing in contentment.   

“Did you have a nice sleep baby?” Y/n cooed to the bundle of fur starching behind his ear making him lean into his touch, Kuroo was in awe as he watched her coo over the small creature. “Do you want some dreamies?” The kittens eyes seem to fly open at the word dreamies as if he understood what his own had said, he looked at her and gave her a small meow. Y/n giggled placing her glass down on the coaster before standing up. 

“Okay you make friends with Tetsu while I grab the dreamies.” Starching the back of Luddy’s head, Y/n gathered up the plates and knifes an placed them on the wooden board along with the chutneys and taking them to the kitchen, leaving Kuroo and a kitten staring at one another, molten grey eyes staring into inquisitive sapphire blue ones. In the background you could hear dishwasher being loaded and the opening and closing of cupboards as Kuroo gently reached a handout allowing the small cat to sniff his calloused fingers, from all those years playing volleyball, before Luddy rubbing up against the man's large hands purring, he stood up walking over to Kuroo sitting down on his lap, allowing Kuroo to continue to pet him, purring happily at the affection. Y/n watched the interaction from the kitchen smiling, before shaking the bag of dreamies, causing Luddy’s ears to prick up and turn to look where the sound came from, he jumped over the back of the sofa trotting his way towards the sound of the treats. Kuroo watched as Y/n opened a ball with a few holes in it, pouring the treats in, shutting it and placing it on the floor for Luddy who ran up to it and batted the ball across the room causing the treats to fall out of the holes. Y/n walked back over to the sofa, grabbed her glass of wine off the table, taking a seat next to Kuroo, whose arm was resting across the back of the sofa, where she was sat it looked like it was placed around her shoulders. Trying his luck, he placed it around her shoulder and tugged her into his side, “Come ‘ere.” To which she responded to his tug by curling into his side, head resting on his chest while he drew gentle circles on her shoulder happily relaxing into the sofa with her curled up to him.   

It was peaceful as the pair led there on the sofa curled into one another, the only sound in the room was Luddy’s ball rolling around and the music still quietly playing, “This is nice Tetsu,” Humming in agreement, he kissed the top of her head allowing his lips to linger inhaling in her soft scented shampoo. He could get used to this, ruining the perfect scene was a loud ringtone going off.

"Is Kenma really streaming at this time?” The girl sighed untangling herself from Kuroo to get her phone from the kitchen counter where she had left at the start of the evening. “Ya know, he only lives around the corner,” Y/n turned to look at Kuroo confusingly as her eyes met with his that held a mischievous glint, “and I have a key.” 

Y/n confusion turned into a smirk as she caught onto what Tetsuro was planning, her eyes brighten up and nodded in excitement, this would be the first time she was meeting her favourite streamer and she would gate crashing his apartment with his best friend. “Can we stop and buy food and drinks for him? I bet he hasn’t eaten.”   

Kuroo couldn’t help but be just as enthusiastic as her, seeing her excited was contagious and made him just as excited. “Of course, we can” He smiled pulling on his shoes and jacket as Y/n did the same. “Luddy be good while we’re gone. Mummy loves you baby.” She blew a kiss towards the kitten who was sat on the sofa looking at the pair with a bored look in his eyes as they stepped out of Y/n apartment door. They made their way to local convenience store fingers entwined together as they searched for Kenma’s favourite soft drink and a few bottles of water before going to the pizza takeaway and order the largest pizza they could with Kenma’s favourite toppings. Y/n couldn’t believe how close they lived together, Kenma live barely 2 streets over, they had the same local takeaways and supermarkets she was surprised they had never bumped into one another before.   

Kuroo entered the code to Kenma’s apartment building, saying hi to the kind looking receptionist who knew him very well with how often he visits his best friend, Y/n sent a wave to the lady behind the desk who returned it with a smile. “Back to see Kenma I see Kuroo, and who is this?” 

“Hi, yep!” He popped the p “This is Y/n she is my girlfriend and actually I met her through Kenma streams she’s one of his mods and he decided to stream during out first date so we thought we would come and crash his stream” The lady giggled and nodded, noticing the blush that exploded over h/c girls cheeks as she heard Kuroo tell the receptionist that she was his girlfriend. “Pleasure to meet you Y/n have fun crashing his stream.”   

“pleasure to meet you too. And thank you we shall.” The girl replied with a smile as Kuroo tugged on their entwined hands towards the elevator, he hit the button for the eighth floor and watching the doors close as the pair made their way up to his floor, Kuroo fished his set of keys out of his pocket, “So we’re going to sneak in and sneak to his stream room and throw the door open and yell at him to hydrate right?” 

“That’s the plan.” The girl nodded bouncing on the balls of her feet. She was so excited to do this. The bell ding in the elevator signalling they had arrived at the eighth floor, stepping out the made in along to apartment 803, Y/n took the carrier bag from Kuroo’s hand as he slipped the key into the lock carefully turning it to unlock the door quietly, they slipped inside stylish modern apartment, they both took there shoes and jackets off, placing the bottles of water and one of his soft drink bottles on the counter, before sneaking there way towards Kenma’s stream room.   

Showing three fingers Y/n began the silent countdown, She knew the whole stream would see this as Kenma had recently moved his stream room around so his back was now facing the door.  

3...  

2...  

1...  

Kuroo threw the door open “YO KENMA! HYDRATE!” The pair yelled at the same time, they watched as the streamer jumped five foot in air out of fright and the stream chat was moving at a mile a second asking what was going on. Kenma pulled his cat ear headphones off his head placing them down on his desk slowly turning around in his desk chair to find Kuroo leaning against the door frame one arm around his date and in his other hand was his Kenma’s drink while Y/n was snuggled into his side with the pizza box in hand. Both of their face held large cheeky grins.

“Kuroo? Wolfie?” He questioned, Kuroo was the first to speak between the couple, “This what you get for crashing our date with your stream”   

“Oh, so now I have to plan my streams around your dates?” Kenma sassed them. The h/c cocked an eyebrow before replying, “Yep, you do.”  

Kenma laughed at her response, watching as the pair stepped into the room, Y/n thrust the pizza box into his hands “bet you haven’t eaten yet tonight so here it’s your favourite.” Before she pushed his chair with him in it out of the way and crouching down to be eye level with the webcam seeing herself in the video, of the stream managers on Kenma’s second monitor, “Hey chat! It’s me, Wolfie! You best be all behaving while I am not there to mod you” She winked into the camera, noticing Kuroo making his way over to her kneeling down behind her, he was still taller than her, he placed his chin on his head, reading what the chat was saying.   

It was exploding with laughter over how they made an entrance, to how pretty Wolfie is and how handsome Kuroo was. “He is handsome isn’t he but hands off he’s mine.” Y/n replied sticking her tongue out at the chat.  

“This gorgeous girl is mine so back off lads I can see yall eyeing her up.” Kuroo growled out playfully.

Kenma just sat in his chair chopping happily on his pizza while shaking his head at his two best friends who had just stolen all the limelight of his stream, which had gone from a Bloodborne stream to just chatting in a matter of seconds, with a gentle smile on his face glad they were happy together.

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[mrslittletall]

Prompt: Mercy Killing

Fandom: Bloodborne Characters: Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower, Saint Adeline Word Count: 2.886 AO3-Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18718291/chapters/62113327

Summary: Lady Maria takes care of the patients in the Research Hall, but one patient has a particular bad fate...

Written for @badthingshappenbingo

Only three prompts remaining!

“Oh, Lady Maria, how good to see you.”

“Good morning, Frieda.”, Maria said. Like every morning, she came to the research hall. Like every morning, Frieda was there to greet her.

“Have you seen my eyes? I seem to have dropped them... in a puddle.”, Frieda said and like always, would start to search in a body of water. She long didn't had eyes anymore, her head a bloated mass of flesh.

It had happened to every patient in the research hall.

“I am afraid, I have not, Frieda.”, Maria said. “I will help you search later, yes? After I made my round. How about you come with me for breakfast?”

“Oh, Lady Maria, is that a promise?”, Frieda said. Her voice sounded cheerful, as if she was smiling, but there was no smile at her face. How could there be a smile, when she didn't possess a face anymore?

“Yes, it is.”, Maria said. “Come. Let's check on the others.”

Like every morning, Maria would make her round. Like every morning, Frieda would accompany her after she convinced her, that she would search for her eyes later. Like every morning, every patient in the Research Hall was delighted to see her. In fact, Maria was the only one who came to visit them outside of experiments and research.

Their families and friends didn't know. They all had been infected by the scourge. They had been brought in by the church in an attempt to cure them. The attempt had been to infuse all this poor people with an overload of arcane. They didn't turn into beasts, but instead... into that. Their body still human enough, their head a blobby mass of flesh and their mind in another plane of existence. It was pitiful. Laurence called them failures. Maria called them patients.

Nobody of them had deserved that fate.

Like every morning, Maria gathered more and more patients which she delivered to the room where they would take in their breakfast. A peculiar sight, because these people were missing mouths. The way they ate, it looked like they absorbed the food into their heads. It looked grotesque and it sounded even worse. Maria had gotten used to the sight over the last few weeks.

One patient wasn't with the others. There was one patient who was secluded from the others and Maria knew why. The woman with the name of Adeline had once been a blood saint. Even though she had been deformed beyond recognition, the church would still use her blood. Blood Saints were valuable.

Disgusting., Maria thought as she carried a tray to the room where Adeline was strapped on a chair. Once she had considered Laurence to be a friend. After seeing all the atrocities happening, atrocities she had been a part of, Maria was done with him. She had told him time and time again, that the blood may be dangerous, but he didn't want to listen. Instead of finding out, he tried another methods to stop the scourge. Methods that left people into a state he didn't had any other word for as “failure”.

Maria knocked at the door, carefully balancing the tray. “Adeline, it's me, Maria.”, she announced herself.

“Oh Lady Maria, come in, come in.”, a delighted voice came from the other side of the door.

Maria stepped in and said: “I brought breakfast.”

“Oh, did you bring some brain fluid? Murky, mushy brain fluid?”, Adeline said that in a tone as if she had asked Maria if there was bacon with the eggs.

“No, it's something far better.”, Maria smiled.

“Ah, well, I can still hear the sticky sound.”, Adeline said and her head seemed to rise, as if her gaze was going to the ceiling.

“I might not have brain fluid.”, Maria said. “But this morning there is some fresh yoghurt with your plate. That surely tastes better and sweeter.”

Maria kneeled down and loosened the straps around her arms, so that she could eat. She scrunched her face a bit at the slurping sounds. As used as she got to them, hearing them that close was still making her feeling a bit nauseous.

Maria's gaze went down as Adeline was “eating”, down at her arm, where there still was a needle sticking out. So that anyone could take her blood as they pleased. Not even that, Adeline would gladly give it to them. Every blood saint had been conditioned to happily give their blood away. Some of them were even still young girls, not older than twelve or thirteen. Maria could never understand how Laurence deemed it fine for them to work as blood saints.

This whole mess is at much your fault as it is his., the voice in Maria's head came to word. She sighed. She knew that, just... unless Laurence, Micolash and Gehrman, she actually tried to make up for her sins.

You are only taking care of the patients because of your guilt. It not for your guilt, you wouldn't care about them at all.

Maria bit on her lower lip until she tasted blood. The thoughts were back again, all the thoughts telling her just what a terrible person she was. This even started with her blood. A blood so vile that she swore to herself to never use.

“That was wonderful, Lady Maria.”, Adeline said after the last piece of food had been “absorbed”. “Next time, please bring me some brain fluid.”

Maria stood up, but didn't leave right away. Instead, she spoke: “Adeline, are you happy?”

“What are you talking about, Lady Maria?”, Adeline's blobby head bopped up and down, as if she was cocking her head.

“Are you happy... like this... being in here...”, Maria said. How should she put it? She couldn't ask if Adeline was happy having a big mass of flesh for a head as well as being strapped on a chair, only used for her blood.

“Oh, Maria, I am happy as long as you visit me.”, Adeline said. “I am happy as long as I can hear the sticky sound. If I wouldn't have been accepted in here, wouldn't I have been killed before becoming a beast?”

“...”, Maria didn't answer right away, knowing that Adeline's fate would have been death otherwise. Though, she couldn't help but ask herself if maybe death would be a better fate for Adeline, who sat on the chair day in and day out, got her blood harvested and asked Maria for brain fluid every time she visited.

Maria reached into her pocket and felt a certain key. It was the key to the balcony. The patients normally weren't allowed there because they could fall or, and the church considered that the worse scenario, escape and be known to the public. Maybe she should...

No, the church ministers would be there soon. If she would unfasten Adeline's bindings so that she could leave, they would notice. It had to wait.

“We will see each other this evening, Adeline.”, Maria said and left the room after fastening Adeline's arm back to the chair, hearing her say: “Aaah, the sticky sound. Drip Drop... Drip Drop...”

Maria closed the day behind her with a sigh. Well, it was time to take care of the other patients for now. During the day, Maria once again helped Frieda find her eyes, only for her to know that she would search for them again the next day, had to prevent Isaac from smashing his “head” against the wall and once again had to catch Tilda, who was under the delusion she was a robin and nearly jumped off the balcony.

Yes, all these people hadn't turned into beasts, but their minds were at a different place. A lot of them talked about water and dripping sounds. A topic that made Maria shudder as she felt the coldness creeping on her skin. It reminded her of the Hamlet and the atrocities she had committed there. Could it be that the patients somehow saw the events of the Hamlet in their delusions? But how?

Whatever, it wasn't Maria's job to find out, it was her job to make them feel better (to make herself feel better) and so she spent the whole day with the patients, talking with them, playing with them, taking care that they wouldn't hurt themselves and soon, evening had rolled and they all had met in the room where they would take in their dinner. Maria was taking a serving to Adeline. Guilt., she thought. The only reason why I still hang around here... Wouldn't it be... wouldn't it be better for them to be dead...?

No, how could she think about his. That was the same mindset that the Healing Church had. If someone was infected, instead of trying to cure them, kill them, get rid of them. However, the beasts were truly dangerous, she had seen time and time again. The patients in here... they weren't a threat. They were locked away anyway. There was no reason to get rid of them, but... were they happy? Being locked in here day in, day out, living in their delusions? When she wouldn't interfere, some of them would have already killed themselves. Maria started to ask herself, if they actually wanted it. That under their delusions, they still were there and they were begging her to be free.

Maria shook her head to get these thoughts out of her head. She had done enough killing. That part of her life was over. She knocked at the door and entered once Adeline called her in. Adeline sat on her chair like usual and greeted her. “Good evening, Lady Maria.”, she said and then her head contracted a few times. “Ah, that smell, you must bring soup.”

“It's good to see that you still have a taste for things other than brain fluid.”, Maria said, kneeling down next to Adeline and unfastening her arms, so that she could eat on her own. Her gaze fell on the one that was used to draw blood of her, it was bruised and looked painful. Even with her accelerated healing as a Blood Saint, having so much of your blood taken every day, that started to take a toll.

“I had some brain fluid earlier.”, Adeline said. “Murky, mushy brain fluid... But... Lady Maria, your soup tastes even sweeter.”

Maria's gaze darkened a bit. Just what did the Church do? Which kind of experiments did they run on Adeline? She was there, strapped to a chair, having to give blood every day and then they even encouraged her delusions about the brain fluid... A much worse thought was, who even did they use to get brain fluid?

Maria suddenly felt nauseous.

As Adeline was eating, Maria felt into her pocket and closed her fingers around the key to the balcony. Once Adeline was done, she took the plate and pressed the key into Adeline's hands. “Here, take this.”, Maria said.

“Oh, what is that?”, Adeline said, dangling the key in front of her “face”.

“Let's just say, it is a charm that can ease your mind.”, Maria said. She then kneeled down again and unfastened the straps around Adeline's legs. The church ministers were gone for the day, it was just fair for Adeline to get out of this sticky room for once.

“Good night, Adeline. May the faint breeze give you comfort.”

That night, Maria slept unwell. The memories of the Hamlet were deep. Her guilt was even deeper. Eventually she gave up and decided to clean her room. As she was busy, he found her Rakuyo in the corner. Why did she even hold onto that? She wasn't a Hunter anymore. She should get rid of it. Maria decided to take it her the next day and discard of it once she was done caring for the patients for the day.

She laid awake for the rest of the night, wallowing in her guilt, and got up once the sun shone through her window, no need to try and get some sleep anymore. She freshened herself up, got dressed, picked up the Rakuyo and went to the Research Hall like every morning, where Frieda searched for her eyes again and she personally brought her to the breakfast room before going to visit Adeline.

As soon as she entered the room, Adelina spoke: “Oh Lady Maria, Lady Maria. You shouldn't have untied me last night. The church doctors will get mad when they see. Can you help tie me to the chair again?”

“Adeline.”, Maria said, slowly putting the tray she had carried on a dresser next to her. “Have you been here the whole night?”

“Where should I go, Lady Maria?”, Adeline cocked her head. “I have everything I need here. Food. Your company. Brain fluid.” The last words sounded joyous, too joyous for Maria's taste.

“I'll ask you again, Adeline. Are you truly happy like this?”, Maria asked, her voice low.

“Lady Maria...”, Adeline said and the joyous tone of her voice receded. “...I knew that the alternative would have been to turn... I... arranged myself with my fate.”

Maria stared at Adeline in surprise. That had been true words for once, not the mad rambling that the patients normally did. Deep down in there, there was still her true self, a self that must have loathed what she became.

“It's fine, Adeline.”, Maria said and her fingers slipped around the handle of her Rakuyo. “You don't have to suffer anymore.”

It was over in a second. Maria's hand were shaking as she removed the blade from Adeline's chest, tears spilling out of her eyes. Blood gushed out of the wound as Adeline's body slumped over, limp and lifeless. It was over. Death was the better fate for her than being used as source of the blood for as long as she lived.

“Lady Maria?” Maria gasped as she heard the voice. Adeline's voice. But... that couldn't be! She had just taken her life! How could Adeline talk to her?

As Maria slowly looked down, she saw that the limp body of Adeline had started moving again. The wound on her chest was closing. Maria knew that blood saints had great healing abilities, but that was ridiculous. She had been a huntress. She knew that she hadn't missed any vital organs.

“Oh, Lady Maria, I have made a mess.”, Adeline said. “My precious blood cannot be spilled. Please... please help me collect it, Lady Maria.”

Maria stared at Adeline, the obvious blood stain on her gown and then at her Rakuyo, coated with the exact same blood. She suddenly started to feel sick.

��I... I need to go.”, Maria murmured and rushed out of the Research Hall. What had she even been thinking? She had decided that Adeline's life hadn't been worthwhile, she had practically killed her and Adeline didn't even have any ill feelings for her.

These hands of Maria were never made to protect, they were made to destroy. She never should hold a weapon in her hands ever again.

As Maria travelled to her destination, there was one lingering thought in her mind. Adeline had come back to life. She had been dead, Maria was sure of it, but she had come back to life as if nothing ever had happened to here.

Where all the other patients in the Research Hall immortal too? If one day she wouldn't catch Tilda and they had to scrape their remains of the floor, would she just put herself together and get up and try fly again?

Did Laurence knew about that?

Whatever the answer was, Maria wouldn't get it. She never ever would raise her blade against one of the patients ever again. She would catch Tilda every time when she jumped. She was the only one who was there for them.

As Maria exited the carrier she had taken, she was standing in front of the Fishing Hamlet.

She swallowed down bile as she went into the village, the swallow water pooling in her boots. She remembered how she and Gehrman had been ordered to slaughter the villagers, bring the corpses back to Willem who had cut them open to search for eyes. How the both of them had cut a bloody path to the corpse of the Great One. How Laurence had used the confusion of the battle to harvest the blood of the the corpse.

If the Great Ones managed to exist after their death, there was no reason that particular one should ever forgive them for what they had done. And if Maria had a choice, she would want to act as its guardian, so that nobody would find the secret of the Hamlet ever again. Alas, that all was in the past and there was nothing Maria could change about it anymore.

She stopped in front of a well and tossed her Rakuyo inside, her face scrunched up in disgust. She would never hold a weapon ever again.

Once Maria heard a splash, she turned around without looking back. There were some patients who were waiting for her. (Author's note: Hmm... that isn't actually my idea for canon, just a “what if” idea based on item descriptions, because I thought it was fitting the prompt pretty well.)

#badthingshappenbingo #mercy killing #bloodborne #lady maria of the astral clocktower #saint adeline #fanfiction #blood

[elejahfanfic]

The Vampire Files/8

Fanfiction

Part 8

AU story, with characters from tvd/to, featuring Joel Goran from Saving Hope

Nick and Elena are FBI Agents investigating supernatural activities and homocide caused vampires and demons.

Expect witches, demons, vampires. Inspired by X-files, Twin Peaks, and many other shows

Main pairing_Nick Amaro & Elena Gilbert

tag_ @miguelsbrat​

thanks so much for reading ✽\(ˆ▽ˆ)-✽ ✽-(ˆ▽ˆ)/✽

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The New Orleans dawn was breaking. The remains of the night were slowly being washed away by the  first rays of the sun. Elena was gazing out of the hospital windows into the horizon blank waiting for the results of Nick's check up. The attending came up to her informing her that Nick will be left for observation as he had lost significant amount of blood, and being an FBI agent they didn't want to risk anything by releasing him, even though his blood work showed that he wasn't in any risk at all. As the nurses left, Elena walked in the room they transferred him to.They wereboth silent.There was so much explaining to follow, but at the moment they just felt it wasn't the time or the place.

"I owe you my life" Nick said, swallowing hard.

"No, you don't. This is what partners are for. You saved mine, remember?"

"It's not the same."

"We are not keeping score. You got to rest. I will head back to the hotel, get a shower and change. I think they will let you out later today. I need to go meet Stavros. And interview the voodoo woman. I will swing by the magic shop later."

"Ok" Nick said closing his eyes. He was tired.The magic of the ointment Elena applied had worn off and now he felt the aftermath of the horrific ordeal he went through.

She looked at him warmly, making a small mental sigh. She enclosed him in her heart that night they played Monopoly. He shed his Agent demeanour off, and shown her a person he really was deep down. Kind, warmhearted, sweet.

Flashback

"I want justice for the victims. This is what drives me. Cold cases were the most challenging. I love challenges."

"Well, you are in the most challenging section of the FBI now." Elena said.

"And think that you are in it for the same reason. You care about the people. At least that's what I could say about your reports."

"Yeah. But I don't always manage to get it. You read that, too. There’s too many dead ends”

“I know. But you are not giving up - and I admire what you have accomplished. I do.” Nick said with a meaningful glimmer in his eyes.

Elena now took hold of his hand and squeezed it.

Nick fluttered his eyes open.They softly connected with Elena’s, making her shudder slightly. It had happened the first time they met, and they knew that there was this something deeply rooted.They both had felt it. Their souls connected before they were even aware of it.

“I got to go” Elena pulled her hand away. “See you later.”

Nick nodded, watching her get out of the room, his heart quivering dreamily. A secret smile curved his lips.

Outside, Elena pulled her phone out and dialed Jenna's number.      

"Morning you," Jenna said as she picked up the call,"how are things? Is he going to be all right?"

"Yes," Elena replied,"I need you to send me all about the Bloodborns"

"So, you haven't talked?!" "He is still processing. I would be after the night he had. Sorry to wake you" Elena said apollogetically.

"You think I have slept?!"

"Hope Alaric has" Elena said. "Yeah, he has a full day at the University. So, you think this will complicate things?" “Things are complicated, but they actually are getting clearer”

"Elaborate" Jenna said, not understanding her niece’s logic.

"I can't. You would be involved an it is not goo at this point of investigation"

"Right. Be careful. My gut feeling tells me this is way bigger than just some random ritual killing" Jenna sighed.

"Yeah -got to go." Elena said and hung up.

At times Elena felt like she was reliving the twisted version of the 'Groundhog Day' movie. But here, no matter how hard she tried to get it put things right, things would always get even more tangled up.  

Flashback

Years back, when she was about to enter the FBI Training Academy

"You know why they are recruiting you?" Jenna said.

"I know. It's not because I am so good at biochemistry" Elena replied.

"Straight to the special program?," Jenna continued, "I am not sure about this"

"I am going there, because of the resources. Because- the darkness is taking over and I have to do everything I can to stop it."

Jenna enveloped her niece a warm hug.

****

In Washington DC, a few hours later

Caroline walked in her office. Klaus saw her come in and went to her, knocking at the door out of courtesy.

"Today you have to slay. Take Liv with you and get make the summons on this case be worth our while" Klaus in a serious manner.

Caroline nodded. It was obvious the magic of him being this great comprehensive charmer disappeared over night and he was his usual emotionless sour self.

Why did she care. They had a job to do. Prosecute  criminals and put them in jail. Stop thinking with your heart. Echoed in her head. He is just another waste of time. That's how she labeled some of her men. She called Liv over to her office and they went through the case in question.

Rebekah's day started with somewhat better. One of her patients showed great improvement. But still there was no answer from Marcel. At times she wished she could just tune out.

****

In New Orleans, a few hours later

Elena stuffed nearly a whole beignet reading what Jenna had sent her. But there was nothing that could establish the connection to Nick and his blood needed to be used for a ritual.

"What is not right in this picture?" she muttered going through some of the facts of the Bloodbornes again.

Her phone rang and it was Agent Stavros, notifying her that he was now at the precinct.

"I am on my way" Elena said hanging up.

Meanwhile, in the hospital, Nick woke up with a throbbing headache, born from the strange magical potion Elena gave him. It had kicked something in him, bringing out a memory that rose up like a wind from nowhere.

Flashback

25 years ago

"You will forget about all of this," Dita Galindo said to Nick,"there are no monsters. That are just stories people invented. There are good and evil people. It is as simple as that. Now eat your dinner"

"But I know what I saw. That changed into a wolf." Nick said.

"No. The man befriended the animal. That is all. And your imagination is running wild. But it is all right. You're ten. You will grow out of it."

Dita Galindo did everything possible to make sure Nick didn't know anything of his origin. And he never bothered to find out. He concentrated to work hard at school and get out of Louisiana and get in the FBI. He was diligent, silent, dark and very meticulous. And the name vulture he got always digging into cases that were impossible to solve, digging into dead meat, as some of his colleagues would say.

Nick brushed his fingers over the side of the neck where he was bitten. He took a deep breath. The sudden realization that monsters that bit him were very real, shook him. These monsters wanted him. Why him? Who was he?

He got up and as he wanted to get up he felt faint for a moment. The nurse walked in suggesting he should lay down.

"I want to discharge myself," Nick said,"I will sign any paper. I am not staying here. I need to go"

The nurse checked his IV and then looked at Nick who closed his eyes for a moment. The images of the vampire biting him appeared again. He opened his eyes and now asked the nurse to call the doctor.

“You should rest.” the nurse tried to calm him down, but Nick was too agitated to listen to her.

“I want to see a doctor now! Get me the Attending. Now!” he demanded.

"You are not fit to do anything today" the Attending said.

"I am leaving, so can you just give me whatever I need to sign to get out - and you will be clear form any possible repercussions that might occur" Nick sat up. He pulled the IV needle out of his backhand.

The Attending could see that no matter what he said Nick was determined to leave. He bandaged his hand, and told him that the nurse would be with him shortly.

And so, he was out of the hospital, finding a cab in front that took him to the nearest rent-a-car place. His phone rang and it was Elena. He looked at it and thought for a second whether he should answer or not. The hospital must have told her that he had left. She was his partner and by rights, he had to answer her, but he chose not to and blocked her. But Elena rang again and he blocked her call again. He was not in the mood to talk to her. Not yet. First he had to get some answers himself. Then his voice mail alert came on and he now played her message.

"Whatever you think you are doing. Don't! I know it is not easy to process all what's happened. Been there.Call me back."

Deep down he knew she meant well. He knew that he was now led by his emotions that were jumping all over the place, like someone put him on live wire. But he left the reason behind and now drove like mad to Carencro, where his adoptive mother Dita lived.

Outside the Magic Shop, Elena was pissed that Nick took off without calling her and she now told Agent Stavros that they had to postpone 'scouring' the place.

"I have released Davina's body to the family. But they will not have the funeral till- " Dean said referring to the woman's heart.

Elena sighed. "You believe that it can be retrieved?"

"I heard what Agnes said to you." Dean replied.

Elena was quiet for a second. She could not pull the wool over his eyes. Dean was involved with Davina, but he didn't know how deeply involved she was in the vampiric world.

"Can I help you?" he offered.

"Nahh- plus- you need to rest. This is not over by far. I will need you fresh and ready for what's to come. See you tomorrow" Elena said jumping in the SUV.

"Bloodborns  are described as the offspring of both an Angel, and a Demon. However, users of this power will have the potential to become more powerful than either side.

This is due to the fact that said spirit would be neutral and possess power from the forces of both Light and Darkness. These beings are based off of the Nephillim, the hybrid offspring of an Angel and a human, with the only difference being that both parents are immortal spirits. Their children became Witchers, monster hunters."                  

"Answer, dammit!" Elena kept pressing the speedial with Nick’s number over and over again, but there was no answer. She drove like mad hoping to catch up with him before he got to Heloise's house. And she managed to get there some twenty minutes after him. She could hear Nick asking question after question and Dita not giving him any answers.

Elena knocked on the door and walked in, apologizing to Heloise for being so forward. Nick now looked at her surprised to see her there, "How did you know”

“Where you were?" Elena finished his sentence and sighing a little replied."I know - about you and where you lived as a kid."

It felt like he was slapped on his face. She could see the rage and disappointment rise in his eyes, "What a great partner you are?. What else do you know?"

Dita looked at Elena now, who gave her a nudge with her head to leave them for a moment on their own.

"I know that you are angry right now. And everything that had happened last night isn't helping" Elena said to Nick.

"You are kidding, right? Is this some kind of a sick joke to all of you? All my life I have been lied to. I want answers. But I don't want them from you. I don't know what shit you will tell me to cover something up" He felt faint again and now spat back Elena about the strange thing she gave him that probably was the reason for making him feel weak.

"Ok. Sit down. You are not back to yourself. You have lost a lot of blood."

"The magic makes him like that" Dita said.

Both Elena and Nick now looked at the witch’s direction.

"What magic?" Elena asked straight forward, as she knew that thing could get bad if there was a clash of magic inside a person.

"Set on him, to keep his real nature subsided" Dita said.

Nick sat down now as he was not feeling good.

"Right. Now you have tell me what magic was used on him" Elena said in a steady calm voice. It was clear that Dita was nervous, but she loved Nick, and clearly didn't want him to suffer.

Nick now started sweating and Elena now looked for some cold water and a towel to ease his condition a bit.

He gulped looking at her now. "Tell me- what am I? Why did they take me?"

"I will. But now- we need to get this magic out of you," Elena brushed Nick’s forehead with a damp cloth,"I am sorry that I kept things from you. Big mistake. Fucking big mistake"

Nick now took hold of the brunette’s arm looking at her with eyes that indicated he is going to slip away, but he managed to mutter. "Fucking big mistake, Gilbert"

"Yeah. Later- you can shout and be pissed as much as you want- but now- I need you to stay with me- do you hear me- Ok?"

Nick nodded a little- feeling like his whole body yet again felt like it was going to lose life.

Elena now ordered Dita to get the witch who had done this to him.

"She is not alive, anymore" Dita said.

"Then some other!, Elena said. "This has to be done. He will not make it otherwise. I am fucking serious!"

Dita just waved off with her head. “There is nobody. I’m sorry.”

Elena now took her phone and dialed a number.

"Valerie," Elena said and proceeded explaining what had happened.

"Right. This what you will do,” Valerie said to Elena, who now found a silver knife in the kitchen,"as you cut the blood from your wrist and you pour it in a clean silver bowl, put the dagger on his chest- as you tell the words- conlidam in sanguinem"

"This is going to work?" Elena said in desperation.

"It will"  Valerie said.

"All right," Elena said hanging up,"come on"

She pulled Nick up in a seating position and took his sweater off, and as she helped him lay back, she proceeded with the ritual.

#nick amaro #elena gilbert #fanfiction #crossover au #tvd au fanfic #nicklena

[the-jellicle-duelist]

Ryan’s Top 10* Video Games of 2019

I don’t write blog posts but it’s time for Video Game Top 10 Lists for 2019 and I have no where good to put it! So congrats tumblr you get it. I’ll also tweet about it but in a much smaller scale. Anyways if you don’t care that’s fine! But if you do! It’s under that read more baby!!

*there’s always more than 10

First, some honorable mentions.

Dragon Quest 1 

Dragon Quest 1 is the oldest JRPG (I won’t check if this is true) and I finally got around to it this year when it come out on Switch. The nice thing about Dragon Quest 1 is that it is masterful in its simplicity: you are one person. You fight one monster at a time. You go to one town at a time (mostly). You are on one quest (again, mostly). There’s only a few handfuls of anything like weapons, items, spells, monsters. They all work really well in concert with each other, and the package as a whole is this cozy, comfy less than 20 hour JRPG experience that I really enjoyed.

Best MMO I Refused to Get Addicted to in 2019

Final Fantasy XIV

I sure did hear a lot about Final Fantasy XIV this year. From podcasts to people just talking about it on twitter it seemed to be in the cultural zeitgeist this year. I downloaded the client and put about 15 hours into the base game. If I would have had the right combination of time/money/depression at that time I know I would have gotten deep into it. I’m fine that I didn’t, I think. But the potential was there.

Okay list time here we go:

10. Baba is You

Baba is You is this a coding game? You’re manipulating verbs that are represented by blocks, and pushing them next to noun blocks, to make the objects in the world do things, so that you can get Baba to touch the win object, usually a key. It’s great fun! It got really difficult around the third world and I had to put it down but boy did I like messing around. There were several wonderful “YOOOOO” type moments, and the puzzles when you solved them were great for making you feel very cool and smart. 

9. Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice

Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice is From Software doing From Software shit in a way I wanted to like way more but ultimately it’s Here on this list. I liked Sekiro fine but it didn’t click with me like Dark Souls 3 or Bloodborne has in the past. The best parts of Sekiro for me were nailing difficult and tight blocking windows, which gave me an absolute rush every single time. I only got to what I assume was about half way through the game, so I don’t know if this changes later, but for a From game where the bosses were for the most part A Person, the boss encounters were interesting and varied. Also the world design was stunning.

8. Dragon Quest Builders 2

Dragon Builders 2 rules, first off. I wanted to put it higher on this list but I think it fell short because it was so heavily iterative and didn’t do a whole lot to progress itself from the first game. But, there were several quality of life improvements, and there was a big cool area to build in that was permanent and part of the story. I think if they added some more cool things, and made the dialogue not be such a slog to get through, this could have been way higher up on this list.

7. Kingdom Hearts 3

God, Kingdom Hearts 3. I was convinced for about 7 years that KH3 would not only never come out, but it would keep getting bad handheld games until I died. But they finally did it, they made the thing. It felt like a PS3 game which is the wildest thing. (It probably was a PS3 game for a while). It was very fun to play mechanically; the part of KH that was always pretty good was the action RPG stuff. The story is bad tho! The reasons you go to the different world’s is the thinnest it’s ever been, and there’s almost no real lore until the last two hours where you get all of it at once. KH3 was clunky, but I still liked swinging the keyblade and shooting fireballs.

6. Judgment

Shout outs to Judgment: I own it. I never played it. It is number 6 on my list. This probably says more about how I felt overall about games this year than it does about Judgment. Judgment comes from the Yakuza studio, and by all accounts it was so close to that vein, that I am confident and comfortable putting it at this number 6 spot without having ever launching the game. I have second hand accounts that it slaps, and will do for me everything Yakuza does for me, which is fine. I just ran out of time. 

5. MiSTer FPGA

I love MiSTer. Wow do I love MiSTer. It’s got everything: old games, tinkering, assembling parts. If you are unaware of the MiSTer device, it’s a custom FPGA board with add-on boards, that developers have written Cores for classic consoles that all run in this FPGA environment. As opposed to emulators, an FPGA as I understand it is mimicking real hardware and then running games ontop of it. It’s a great device, and plays the things it plays (NES, SNES, Master System, Genesis, Game Gear, Gameboy, Gameboy Color, Gameboy Advance, NeoGeo, loads of Arcade games,and more) really well. I have really enjoyed playing games on it, and tinkering with it this year. I spent a lot of my time this year with it. 

4. Slay the Spire

This is where the list starts to get Real. Wow does Slay the Spire rule! Holy shit. Rogue like, deck building, choice making, hard as fuck, big time strategy, unique characters. It’s really got everything. And it’s dense. This was absolutely my “just one more X” game this year. I put hundreds of hours into it. The way all of the cards interact with each other, the way you can really craft so many kinds of specific decks in each character, in each run, really worked for me. The ever-growing engines you could make, and the way that, even if you have a not great deck, it never feels bad. It’s one of the few rogue likes where you feel like when you’ve lost it’s your fault in a good way. It’s tuned to feel good no matter what. It’s tuned to feel tense. God Slay the Spire rules. And there’s a new character on the way? fuck.

3. Monster Hunter World: Iceborne

I loved coming back to Monster Hunter so bad y’all don’t even know. They added a ton, so many good monsters that I love to fight. Tigrex? yes. Zinogre? Yes. Velkhana? YES. The variant monsters are great, too. I just love Monster Hunter World so much. The clutch claw rips ass. This game is so good, and chunky, and feels good to play. I really mastered the bow this time around, but I started off with Hammer again because I will always have a torrent love affair with Hammer. Clutch Claw Grab with the Hammer is the best feeling you can get from video games. 

2. Pokemon Sword/Sheild

Good Pokemon games! They’re good! It was nice to go through all the motions of a new pokemon game this year: rumors, leaks, having a reaction to all the starters and their evolutions, getting my hands on it, catching them all. It’s just a good Pokemon game. It’s not the best one (Black and White still got that crown) but it’s good. And I like a majority of the new designs. I like how they culled the dex to a nice, satisfying but manageable number. Anyone who’s mad please fuck off.

1. Fire Emblem: Three Houses

WE ALL KNEW THIS WAS COMING. Anyone who follows me on twitter, you know. God where do I start. So, I played all the way through Three Houses six times. I did two runs of Golden Deer, two of Black Eagles, one Blue Lions, and one Church of Seiros. I love all of my students. This game hit hard for me for a few reasons: they did Fire Emblem again, but its bigger and there’s more moving parts. More need for spreadsheets, which is stuff that I eat up. Yum yum good. Adding an overworld even in the scope that was as small as, the Monastery School, to this Fire Emblem was a BIG risk because they have been down this road before, and have not really nailed it. But I think with Three Houses they struck a really good balance, and it never overwhelmed me. They took a big page out of Persona’s book here which did wonders for me. You have this big map and it LOOKS scary, but in reality with fast travel and the limited number of actual activities/quests, you can do everything you want very quickly. 

The thing that shined that brightest was the characters. I love them all, even the ones that aren’t cool, and even the ones that are Bad. I love all my kids. I have a lot I could say about how having all of these story routes, with their inconsistencies and their only slightly subtle variations bummed me out, but I did think if you take a macro look at the plot, this is one of the only well-written Fire Emblems ever. There was like, magic and dragons and things like this, but the thing that worked for me was their commitment to keeping the story grounded in the people that were in it? It was a story about three lands, vying for power in their own ways, and the actions/consequences that would follow. They really leaned in to the human part of it. It was not as much Kingdoms doing Politics, it was people doing things, and I think that worked for me.

Honestly the weakest parts of FE:3H was the Fire Emblem parts. The classes are just okay, and they took out a lot of the limitations of weapons/magic and so it was really a class change system about skills mastery, which I think they didn’t hit a home run here, but it was fine. And I liked doing it, clearly. The maps were a little samey in, especially in the first Part of the game. 

All of this said, FE:3H slaps so much fat juicy ass and it is absolutely my game of the year for 2019. 

#video games #top 10 #top 10 video games 2019 #dragon quest #final fantasy xiv #baba is you #sekiro #dragon quest builders 2 #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts 3 #judgment #mister fpga #slay the spire #monster hunter world #monster hunter world iceborne #pokemon sword #pokemon shield #fire emblem three houses

[anime-grimmy]

Favourite Gaming Soundtracks of the 2010s

It’s the end of another decade and what a decade it’s been. So much has changed in “just” 10 years, so many cool things have happened, so many amazing games have been released. Since it’s the end of the year I thought I could talk about some things that are dear to my heart. I love music and with so many dope games came just as amazing soundtracks. So, I just wanna let out my thoughts for my favourites. This is not really ranked, but I’ll tell you which my favs are from my favs.

But first, some “honorable mentions” for soundtracks I really enjoy, even though I’ve never played these games.

-        Dark Souls / Bloodborne Mystic and gritty, but strangely calming from time to time

-        Hollow Knight It came coming on with YT Autoplay and to be honest, I can’t complain. All in all a great soundtrack

-        Persona 5 Dude, talk about style. It’s not quite my type of game, but holy fuck, the music is my JAM

-        God of War (2018) I DID play this game and I loved it, but the soundtrack didn’t really stick out to me THAT much. Some tracks are downright bone-chilling and epic, but it didn’t have such a big impact on me all in all.

 Anyways, on with my list.

Pokemon Sword and Shield

I’m gonna start with a recent one since it’s still fresh in my mind.

I always liked the Pokemon Soundtracks. Though most of the time simplistic, some tracks just have such iconic melodies. However, from Sinnoh onwards, I started liking single tracks more than the soundtrack as a whole. For example. even though most people say Cynthia has the best Champion theme, I can agree an the melody being amazing, but for me, the theme is so loaded, I don’t like it (best Champion theme is still Lance). Alola, for me, started having an upcurve on the soundtrack. I liked it as a whole, though I can’t really remember what exactly stood out to me.

Now Sword and Shield. Dudes, keep going on that route, your OST is amazing. I’ll be honest, the BEST thing of this game is the soundtrack. All have this kinda sporty/cheery sound and even though, let’s say, the normal battle theme isn’t that of a banger, the number of amazing single themes is just so high. Bede’s theme is basically the only thing I like about him, Marnie’s has such a cool tune (and all the metal covers on YT, BRO) and even if many people don’t like Hop’s theme, I really dig it. Some parts remind me of Mirror B.s theme, I dunno why.

And then you have my fav tracks, Rose’s Final Fantasy theme, Toby’s amazing Battle Tower theme AND THE GYM BATTLE MUSIC. I really didn’t like the gym leader theme at first but while playing the game, after each gym leader, it got me more and more stoked when the battle began.

All in all, Pokemon Sword and Shield has an overall enjoyable soundtrack. Filled with bangers, for me it made the game itself so much better.

Animal Crossing

Though I haven’t played the game in a long time, I still listen to the music.

Animal Crossing is just laid out to be this chill and calming ensemble of melodies. And it works. When I’m stressed or have to work on stuff I don’t want to, I usually just put on Animal Crossing music. It calms me and just gives me this warm and fuzzy feeling. It also helps when I have problems sleeping.

A soundtrack to just lie back, close your eyes and just enjoy life.

Legend of Zelda – Breath of the Wild

Continuing with calm music, let’s talk about my favourite Switch title.

This game often gets flag for “having no music” or too little of it. I know where you’re coming from, but I just think the limited use of the soundtrack makes you appreciate it even more. The moments when the music is used is carefully chosen and that makes it special. Be it the few piano notes that play while the day goes on, the little notification that you’ve entered a new area, the unexpected high energy when you’re fighting (most of all bosses) or the indescribable fear you feel when a Guardian spots you.

There are a few favourite moments I have of the game.

First is the start, when you first leave the cave, run out and this vast landscape opens before you. Just those few piano notes made me all excited for this new adventure. Like dawn is breaking.

The first time I rode on a horse over this wide field and suddenly, the music starts swelling. It was almost magical, the music rising just like my excitement.

The last thing I love is the difference between being in villages and outside. When I noticed that you always have some kind of melody playing when you’re in a settlement it dawned on me how quiet it was outside of them. I love this contrast between being alone in the wilderness with all the quiet and the sudden swell in music when you’re with other people.

This OST amazes me with how much emotion it can convey with often just the smallest amount of notes. An amazing soundtrack for just as an amazing game.

Super Mario Odyssey

So, last Nintendo game on this list, I swear.

This one is a small surprise, but at the same time, it really isn’t. I’ve never really been a fan of the main Mario games, they just aren’t really my thing. (the spin-offs are my jam). However, I’ve always enjoyed Mario’s music. The upbeat tunes really get stuck in your head and the melodies are always so recognizable. Heck, my favourite OST was from Super Mario Sunshine back in the day!

With Odyssey, I really enjoyed both the game and the soundtrack aspect. The worlds are colourful and the gameplay is super fun. Combine that with the stellar soundtrack and the game was such a fun experience, it’s definitely in my top 10. But what I really enjoyed is the diversity of the track. When you listen to the soundtrack on Youtube and you just click on two different parts of the video, I can guarantee that they’ll probably sound completely different but at the same time somehow coherent. The best tracks, in my opinion, are the upbeat ones for sure. The feeling of excitement and adventure just swells so much it’s amazing.

Then you’ve got “Jump up Superstar”. I fucking love this song. It’s so much fun, has such a great tune which gets stuck in your head and the lyrics are so easy to sing along. All things I love in a song. I actually listened to the song on repeat before I even got the game and I couldn’t wait to get to New Donk City to LIVE the song. And I wasn’t disappointed, it was one if not the best moments in the game.

Great game, great soundtrack, 100% fun.

Bravely Default / Bravely Second

(technically on a Nintendo Console, but whatev) I’m just gonna lump this two together, since BS’s the sequel.

Now, JRPGs aren’t really my thing. They often take too long for my tastes, I can’t for the life of me concentrate on the story and characters and after some time they just get stale for me. But now and then, I pick up a series I actually finish and that was Bravely Default and Second. I think I just have such a huge soft spot for the series cause of the art style/atmosphere and the fact that I played 8 hours straight of BD on a flight from Canada home.

I haven’t played the games in forever but when I think about what I like about them, there are 3 things I always think about: characters, art style and soundtrack. The songs might sound generic to most, but to me, with my little knowledge of JRPGs, find them quiet unique. It does at some points remind me of Final Fantasy but I think something just makes the tracks just sound like Bravely, though I can’t put my finger on it.

I don’t know the names of the themes, but even now there are just certain tracks which I link to a certain reaction. Like “oh no, not them again” or “Now shit is getting down”. Or every time the main theme plays, I get absolutely pumped.

Haven’t played the games in forever, but the soundtrack’s still in my mind.

Kingdom Hearts

From one RPG to the next, here’s a very special soundtrack. Kingdom Hearts is a franchise near and dear to my heart. It’s one of the first, if not THE first, RPG I ever played. I just get so nostalgic with this game. I can just remember watching my brother playing KH2, seeing two characters from my favourite franchise run around with this spiky haired boy with this stupidly big key. So much stuff happened I didn’t even understand back then, but just seeing these animated characters laugh and cry and go on this grand adventure, little me was mesmerized.

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t too happy with KH3. I’ve waited so long for it, just like hundreds of other people, but the end product just, I dunno, lacked the heart it used to. One thing however didn’t, the soundtrack. As sad I was to not enjoy the game as a whole as much as I wanted to, the soundtrack became one of my instant favourites. It sounds grandiose and has so much emotion. Each track sounds amazing but the OST really shines in its more calm and beautiful themes and its epic ones.

My favourite songs are the serene ones, however. “Sincerely Beloved” and the other Utada songs are some of my favourite songs ever and I can’t tell you how close I came to crying with the Sea Salt Icecream Trios themes. Heck, I played Xion’s theme back in the day on the piano and I still can play it now.

As much as KH has gone down in heart, the soundtrack stands up there as one of the best, much thanks to Utada Hikaru as well. It will always be important to me and just reminds me of my childhood. Some very fond memories.

Undertale

Well, let’s get outta the nostalgia feel and turn it up a bit!

Ah, Toby Fox, you madlad. Creating such a great game and subverting so many expectations. Undertale really had a big impact on the gaming scene but for me, the soundtrack really lasted. Don’t get me wrong, I still love the characters and story very much, but I still listen to the soundtrack regularly.

Undertale’s OST is comprised of sad, melancholic, upbeat and downright hype tunes. It has a wide spectrum but Toby Fox really does know how to push Leitmotif. All themes kind of flow great into each other but still manage to stand out and are recognizable. Each character theme fits the character perfectly and I love how their themes usually have some melodies/instruments from the area they’re in. And speaking of areas, as much as I love the character themes I just might prefer the atmosphere tracks even more. I mean, “Snowdin” just sounds like this super laid back, cute little town, “Home” is such a calming song and “It’s raining somewhere else” has such mystique. And, of course, the fact that the tracks have character/plot relevance is just amazing.

Not to mention, Toby Fox created one of the best Meme songs in existence.

Love the game, love the soundtrack even more and I’ll listen to “Death by Glamour” til I die.

Horizon Zero Dawn

I’m so happy I picked up this game. I never bought it cos A, I feel overwhelmed by open world games, and B, it COSTS SO MUCH. But I found it for half the prise and I bought it right before exam week. I know, smart move.

But anyways, the soundtrack. There aren’t any tracks that really stand out to me but I just like it as a whole. It’s such an atmospheric OST and when listening to it as BG music you just HEAR where you are, which tribe you’re in, what you probably did in the game when it played.

And that’s actually a big factor. All in all, I don’t think it’s such a special OST. It sounds great, most tracks are solid, but what really makes it shine is how much it enhances the experience of the game. The gameplay and story are great, but the OST just makes everything so much better, with setting the tone and atmosphere and all that.

I could go on and on about this game, but the soundtrack can be shaved down to a few words. Solid, great and atmospheric.

Monster Hunter World / Iceborne

So, I’ll drop this to second to last because I already made a super long analysis of the soundtrack. I’ll link it here.

https://anime-grimmy.tumblr.com/post/188601659768/some-monster-hunter-ramblings-possible-spoilers

But to put it simply, this is probably my favourite soundtrack at the moment. I just haven’t experienced so many emotions while listening to an OST since a certain game that’s next on the list. I still can’t listen to “Succession of Light” without almost crying (who am I kidding, I cry every time). I dunno why, but so many tracks make me feel such a barrage of emotions, be it excitement for adventure, hype for the hunt or just simply a childlike wonder.

Simply a great soundtrack that will be on top for a long time.

Okami

Technically a game from 2006, but the PS4 version came out like 2017 and I REALLY WANNA TALK ABOUT THIS GAME.

This is my absolute favourite game of all time. Since I played it first when I was about 9 years old, I just really loved this game. I replayed it more times than I can count and dude, I speedrun this game in record time.

For people who don’t know this game, you play as the Sun God Amaterasu, who has been summoned in the body of a white wolf. You job is to banish the evil from Nippon. To say this game awakened my fondness of Japanese culture is, well, spot on. I’ve played this game before I even knew what anime was. The atmosphere, style, themes and mostly the music mesmerized me. It was all so, well, foreign. Even nowadays it stands out from anything else I’ve played.

But on to the OST. Next to it being just amazing in general, it just is so Japanese and that’s what has always stuck out to me. I grew up with very traditional and classical music, back then I didn’t even listen to English/American music. So to hear these melodies and instruments that just sound so unfamiliar was very intriguing. And that just topped of the already amazing tracks. Okami does a great job of having super epic, exciting but also sombre and atmospheric music. It’s also very animated and comedic with it’s use of music. So, the mix of foreign sounds and great timing of amazing tracks just makes the experience all so much more memorable.

Even after 10+ years, Okami never gets boring and no matter how much I play it, the moment I face a boss and the epic music swells, or the moment a calm scene passes and the melody slows, my heart fills with emotion and I’m so glad I played it again.

Well, that’s that! I know it probably often sounds kind of sappy, but music is very special and important to me. If music doesn’t evoke emotions in me, I don’t care about it, even if it sounds great. For me it’s important that, when I listen to a soundtrack, I can remember the game or the scene it played in and the emotions I felt in that moment.

Soundtracks are supposed to make a emotional connection between you and the game and that’s why they are essential. At least that’s how I see it.

Anyways, if you made it this far, I bow my head to you. Thanks for reading and I hope you could somehow share my perspective of these games’ soundtrack. Feel free to tell me about your fav tracks!

 It’s been a nice decade, enjoy the rest of 2019!

#favourite gaming soundtracks #2010s #pokemon #pokemon sword and shield #animal crossing #legend of zelda #mario oddesy #bravely default #undertale #kingdom hearts #monster hunter world #monster hunter iceborne #okami #horizon zero dawn #rambling

[polygon-streams]

April 21st, 2019 - Pat’s Easter/Post 4/20 Donk Souls Stream

Pat played another stream of Donk Souls, back again with Magnum Jr. Stream went on for a little over 3 1/2 hours, so there’s quite a bit to note

Recaps a bit on yesterday's stream, telling the story of Magnum Jr.

Is interrupted by piss as he explains how he wants to find a loincloth for Magnum Jr, we are still on the fight for as naked of a Kong as possible

"Suns out guns out here in Lothric" - Pat, 2k19

Thanks some good subbers

Waluigi subbed up, thank you Waluigi

Vordt of the Boreal Valley is a fun name

"Hey.. hey, man.. hey.... alright bye, guess I'll see you later, man." - Pat @ a skeleton lookin’ enemy who walked away from him

Magnum Jr. has an arrow through his neck is he ok

4/20 was successful because he didn’t do weed due to it being an illegal criminal activity

"I don't want to perry.. what do i look like... Matthew?"

Has a very long stare at the chat ".................Matthew Perry"

Bonk bonk bonk souls

Gives a few more gifted sub shoutouts

Half-logan?

( Chunk of the stream is missing about right here. Only about 30 minutes, sorry about that )

He doesn’t drop pants

Beeline for vort

Memeshart is giving good gamer advice ( I’m sorry Pat, we all know Memeshart is the supreme gamer here )

“I got vorted” - Pat Gill, 2k19

Let’s fucking go, Pat can do it, we got this

Pat has fought this Vordt X times

“Juice time, baby, juice me” - also Pat, 2k19

He’s having more trouble than usual bc his other characters wore clothes

Vordt Souls

RP: do you guys know my dad?

Hums to konkey dong

X is your uber ride, am outside

God dammit, dogs. He’s killing the bone dogs.

One of this weird turtleback men is actually my friends that wants to hang out with me

Does that make me into beef jerky? I want my Kong to be fresh

More dog hate. He’s getting mauled by dogs. “Please lord of Dark Souls don’t let these dogs kill me”

“Why can’t I use ember? Is it because I already am bird shit?” nice joke.

Tropical freeze is such a good soundtrack. He’s done into the past and he may switch to it towards the end

He wants to bottle feed the kittens. He feels the best way to get a kitten to drink out of the bottle is by convincing them they really don’t want it to drink out of the bottle

Just realized he doesn’t know what the fuck is going on in this game after noticing for the first time a person is growing into a plant. Now he’s wondering why the people in this town are turning into trees. Angel b: they’ve commited treason greatest victory : they’re turning over a new leaf

He wants to make today and tomorrow pizza days. And he’s got a big thing of lactaid so he’s set to commit this mistake

He’s working on the environmental storytelling. That’s why he likes it, you have to put it together

If Ken Levine made this game he’d had made it clear by writing on a wall or something but not here

Dark Souls II: spooky stuff here in dark souls. That’s why the game is not called light and breezy souls

He got box stabbed, but he’s having a nice time souls

“This is my friend, Johnny, get it?” - We didn’t get it

“This is my friend, David”

“This is also my friend, Nick”

“Johnny cage.. because it’s a bunch of people in a cage” ( can confirm joke landed only for like two people )

This area gives Bloodborne vibes. Sorta medieval Bloodborne

“I’m not gonna use the whip”

jk he might try

Important update: Charles is sneezing

Camera angle is not in Pat’s favor up in this ruins and he hates it

He doesnt wanna fight anyone called Hodrick

We’re gonna avoid Hodrick and go fight a giant shooting arrows from a tower

22.32 Bijan is here

Memeshart is a consultant-- Pat is calling on memeshart like an Alexa

“Memeshart, play Despacito” Another great joke, Patrick

We’re testing Memeshart’s knowledge boundaries

Memeshart lore: They were picked up from a shipwreck by the current memeshart

Pat doesn’t remember this part being so annoying ( he also doesn’t remember he had clothes for the other characters )

Again with the Johnny/David/Nicholas Cage joke ( but now we all got it )

He’s avoiding killing non hostiles ( he definitely killed them in his main files, though )

Grim Acceptance: The emotion that bopping to The Entire Buck Bumble Theme for 3000 Bits elicits

He’s not particularly excited for the Sega Genesis mini. He didn’t have a Sega so he’s not particularly nostalgic

Bastard Sword: “I am kind of a bastard.”

22.48 Faith’s here

X i s one of hs favorite tracks in the Donkey Kong Country soundtrack

dumbassrights was gifted a sub. a good username, we can all agree

Unspoken chat rule: You aren’t allowed to say you got pizza without also saying the toppings

“He- he packed a bowl, but it was 420 yesterday!” - Pat

Very close to having the loincloth

“Love a big rat”

He doesn’t lock on a lot of enemies, especially big enemies, with enemies surrounding

Even more dog hate. Sorry, can’t relate.

Onion man is with us. he did not help with dog enemy.

“This guy sounds like Paul F. Tompkins doing Alan Thicke”

He’s good friends with the big archer giant. Friendship goals.

Bijan: “Can anyone explain the plot of Dark Souls?” Pat: “No.”

“It’s time to probably die”

Onion man is sleeping, chat decides to spam z for good slumbers

Lore check: this is the son of Magnum Kong , Magnum Kong Junior and he’s trying to find his dad, his papa, his daddy.

Went full “That’s rough, buddy” with “They really just tied a bunch of people to these burning wheels, huh….. rough..”

“I’m not good at archery, but the point is not about doing well, it’s about having fun.”

( sees enemies ) ( gasp ) two of them! ( dies )

Memeshart comes in again to say Pat missed a chest. Thank you for your service, Memeshart

Memeshart was right ( as always )

enemies: throw orbs pat: Is that allowed??

Still hasn’t seen the bone ball. Boneball watch 2k19

“Perfect for us whomst love to hate wear pants”

Spitballing this part because he hasn’t played it.

( picks up a reinforced club ) “I’ve joined the reinforced club. The club is me. I am the club.”

“goin’ on a quick loin cloth quest”

“I’m not sure what burning an undead bone shard does, but 420 was yesterday.” - I am not sure what this means but he isn’t wrong, I guess?

We’re gonna go burn an undead bone shard in a loincloth

“Loincloth is a bit more modest than previous ones but we got the legs exposed which is important” - good fashion advice from pat

“I do like the swing of the cloth it makes you think you might have a little peek if you get lucky”

“I’m touching a lady hold the fucking phone dude. Did I fail the touch?”

Young Man Charles was in the background for like 5 seconds and chat went absolutely nuts. As they should.

“I just wish we could get the ass out more in this game. I guess they cut down on the ass.”

Pat yeeted the sword master.

We’re gonna fuck up a tree. He’s the first or second big boss in Dark Souls 3

Content Warning: Nasty Boss. Pat’s gonna smack this tree’s groin area.

Faith is somehow not fond of this boss. I wonder why

Charlie showed up but Pat is busy busting these veggie’s nuts

Pat’s still adamant about not using the whip: “I’m not gonna whip this tree dude’s nards”

“Watchin’ Highlander on 4/20!”

Does not want to be hollow, would rather be ‘plump and svelte’

“I love when my elaborate attack doesn’t hit.” - A relatable gamer feel by Pat

Pat is having a sweaty one today

“We should clay-less…. We should mackle-less ( old man groaning noises )”

“I think the gentleman doth mackle too much.”

Oh, it’s drag JK Rowling o’clock! sipping_that_tea.jpg

According to Pat you psychologically cannot poop standing up

“Why did she say that? why did she do this?”

Chat says that babies poop standing up. Pat responds with, “Babies aren’t like us.”

“I’ve had enough poopoo peepee talk for today. Fuck JK Rowling.”

Chat is going full trans rights for seemingly no reason, it’s beautiful.

Was that little man always there? We may never know. Pat definitely does not remember the lil dude though, but seems to appreciate his presence nonetheless.

Here goes the french champagne

c h u n k y  r o l l i n ‘

admin duderave put that he spilled cottage cheese on himself in chat, “duderave… how much cottage cheese was spilled…”

admin duderave was laughed at for spilling cottage cheese on himself. it be like that sometimes.

Aerospoon back at it again gifting about 10 subs today. Nice goin’, buddy, doing God’s work on this fine Easter

He was talking about his next stream and got distracted by Charlie, as you do ( the next stream is tuesday at 8pm est )

He’s got the whole day off on Tuesday bc he worked pretty much all week due to traveling

After clicking around for a minute, decided to raid thatguyTagg, and said goodbye

End of stream!

#pat gill #patrick gill #twitch #polygon #dark souls

[fyrapartnersearch]

Are you a beast?

Then look no further! (sorry for the strange title. Couldn't think of a better one at the moment :P) Call me Gil! Didn’t have that much luck the first time I submitted my ad. I hope it’ll change with my second try :)
 If you reach out to me, please be sure not to ghost me after the first few messages before we even get to the Roleplay itself. I am sick and tired of it, frankly. 
Apologies if this came off a little bitter, but this has happened so many times to the point where I took a break from roleplaying altogether. Now that my rant is over, let us move on with the fun stuff :) I am currently searching for a literate, mature (preferably 20+ partner) writer with a vast, creative mindset willing to push some boundaries. Someone who is not afraid delving into darker themes, or come up with new fresh ideas for a fantasy plot. Someone who is willing to commit to a long-term Roleplay. Are you that someone? I’ll swing you a few facts about me:

I am a 20+ woman, living in Europe, currently studying at a university that is fairly time consuming. With that being said, I am able to type out 3-4 messages per week. I think tis a good solid rate that can get the plot going. Depending on my schedule, my frequency will increase or decrease. Not to worry, I will let you know as soon if there is something coming up that might influence the Roleplay. I love detailed paragraphs that describe the scenery and emotion of one’s character. If you are someone comfortable or only willing to type one-liners, you are going to find your match here, sorry. I only role-play on either email or goggle docs.

Summary:

    Above the age of 20, thus mature and open minded

    Paragraph writer

    Detailed

    Experienced with 10 years under my belt

    Preference to doubling

I love a good brainstorming! Once we get to know each other, I would love to do a bit of brainstorming, a gathering of ideas that we can utilise for the story. I have an idea that we can shape a bit more to fit both of our narrative. 
Here’s a detailed description of my style and boundaries that I have for a potential RP. How I write: I am a multi-paragraph sort of writer, which means that frequently, my writing will exceed at least 500 words, and upward of 1000+ words. I love detail in description, and I am actively seeking someone of the same infamy. Generally, I tend to write in the 3rd person. But it can change based on the situation. My partner should have a basic grasp on grammar, punctuation and somewhat of an interest in erudite writing.   The genres I am into: I am versatile when it comes to genres and settings that I like to focus on. Supernatural is my bread and butter, especially urban and gothic fantasy, but also very much mythological stories. But I am not opposed to tapping into science fiction, action, romance, crime, action or thriller genres, though my most favourite is a combination of both fantasy and science fiction. What has struck my interest lately, is a world with gargantuan titan like monsters battling against each other, causing all sorts of havoc and devastation. I was heavily inspired by Pacific Rim, Godzilla and other monster themed movies, films and games. We could forge something original along those lines, like a clash of titans, ancient deities and creatures believed to be myth who now awakened to take back the world by storm. Romance: I openly play and accept characters of both genders, preferable m x f pairings, but I am open to m x m and f x f relationships as well. I have more experience with m x f relationships, so I might excel in this category more than I would do with the others. I do not fade to black - instead I encourage erotism and tastefully written romance scenes. The passion must be felt, even if its just an intelligent description of someone’s stream of thought. Characters, the center of attention: Faceclaims, GIFs, drawings, mood boards or just a plain physical description is absolutely welcome / sufficient. I am not someone who necessarily requires a face claim for a character in order ‘to get the picture’. There are many instances where I could not find a suiting match for my character’s definition, so I resorted to drawing them myself or leaving it with a simple description. Characters should have flaws - that is a no brainer obviously, because its what makes them most interesting and compelling to read. I think we’re also far past the Mary Sue and Gary Stu issue, so I am certain that anyone who messages me, is capable of forging great characters. World building & plotting: An active Roleplayer is wanted in this category, without a doubt. I love to build but I tend to lose interest real quick when I get the feeling I’m the only one who puts effort into it. I can’t do the thinking for two people, so I implore anyone to at least share the burden (which should not be regarded as such in the first place, because Roleplaying is a fun hobby and nothing more). Too often I find people shying away from it in this regard. If I feel that I’m carrying the weight of the world-building part with specific ideas, I will end the Roleplay with immediate effect. Be bold with your ideas! A bird cannot fly with only one wing. Content: I find writing erotic, dramatic or action packed scenes very enjoyable. I don’t hinder myself when certain subjects are mentioned that may be uncomfortable for the general public. But then again, as a reminder, a Roleplay is not reality but fiction. For example situations that heavily imply and involve brutality, mayhem, psychological and physical torture are things that don’t really bother me in a sense, because again, it is fiction. Characters should be fully fleshed out, even the not so pretty parts of one’s personality and actions.

Limits: I don’t do necrophilia, pedophilia & and any sort of underage pairings, bestiality, vore, toilet play, furries and other strange fetishes. What I’m also not particularly fond of are oneliners, text-talk ‘grammar’, or emails with the subject: ‘Hey wanna rp?’ or ‘RP?’. I also note that my partners must be around 20 years or older, I will accept no younger partners, sorry. The last thing I tend to avoid like the plague are slice of life Roleplays, because lets face it, our own lives are pretty much slice of life. Original plot lines / pairings I am absolutely down for are:

Supernatural x Human (non supernatural)

God x Human

God x God

God x Demigod

Demigod x Human

Witch / Warlock x Human

Witch / Warlock x Hunter

Witch / Warlock x Witch / Warlock

Monster x Human

Antagonist x Protagonist

Bully x Victim (sort of..)

Criminal x Regular citizen

Criminal x Cop

Soldier / Warrior / Knight x Civilian

Royal / Noble x Peasant

Royal / Noble x Traveler

Mentor x Apprentice

Knight x (Female in disguise) Knight

etc.

The list goes on.

Also, if an original doesn’t really suit your fancy - I am willing to do canon Roleplay, although I don’t feel as much inspiration for it as I do for an original story. I’m also very picky about it, so apologies if there aren’t too many things listed here:



Marvel

DC


Pacific Rim

Star Wars

Star Trek


Castlevania

Berserk

Carmen SanDiego

Harry Potter

Witcher

Dark Souls

Bloodborne

Devil May Cry (The original series, not the reboot)

Shadow of the Colossus

Kingdom Hearts 
God of War

I highly welcome ideas and other takes on a story. If you crave something different, I am down for it as well :) If you are still reading, congratulations! xD 
The journey has come to an end and I am glad you’re still alive! Usually I would also list my Discord on this platform, but since Discord did an update on me recently where I can’t log into it anymore - I thought it be better with email. That way I can better assess the person. Email is much safer and more professional that way. Contact me here! EMAIL: [email protected] Hope to greet you as my new partner!

-Cheers

#indie rp #indie roleplay #independent roleplay #oc rp #multiple paragraph #para #long term #email #marvel rp #avengers rp #spn rp #mcu rp #dc rp #submission

[stompsite]

The One About Dark Souls

This piece was originally slated for another publication about a year ago. It didn’t get published. So here it is.

This time, I’m confident I have him. Father Gascgoine has been plaguing me for weeks, but I’ve got it all worked out. I enter the arena, pumped up and ready to do this. For a few minutes, everything’s fine, but then I feel that telltale twinge in my hand. Before I know it, the pain’s burning up my arm and into my neck. I have to put the controller down. My poor health has betrayed me again. I’ll never be good enough to beat a Souls game.

Dark Souls is hard. That’s what it’s known for. In a world where the biggest and most successful games are built on promises about playing your own way, Dark Souls is brutal and unrelenting. FromSoftware’s magnum opus demands you take it on its own terms, a strategy that has proved wildly popular; few games can lay claim to a fanbase as passionate and loyal as Dark Souls.

A debate has raged for years over whether or not Dark Souls would benefit from an easy mode. Fans will tell you that no, difficulty is an essential element of the Dark Souls experience, that much of the game’s fun is found in its difficulty, and they have a point. Others, people who have wanted to embrace the series, but derive enjoyment in games from anything other than challenge, believe that Dark Souls would be better off with an easy mode.

Dark Souls joins all-time greats like Doom and Donkey Kong in establishing its own formula. Indie and AAA game developers alike have borrowed heavily from the Souls series, with games like Salt and Sanctuary, Lords of the Fallen, and Nioh. Before we ask ourselves whether Souls should have an easy mode, we need to understand how Souls games work.

Souls works like this: you, the player, have to travel through the game’s world, conquering its challenging bosses. Whenever you defeat an enemy, you earn a currency, called ‘souls,’ or ‘blood echoes,’ or something similar, which you use to purchase upgrades. If you die, you drop your collection of souls and respawn at the last save point, usually a physical location like a bonfire. Crucially, you cannot bank souls. This means that as your power grows, so does the need to explore world, putting yourself at risk, until you have enough souls to purchase more powerful upgrades.

The combat requires you to play thoughtfully. You must keep an eye on your stamina bar, which drains based on your attacks and movement. Draining your stamina at an inopportune time could result in an unfortunate death. Your attacks are usually animation-driven, which means that when you press a button to attack, you cannot break out of the attack animation until it has completed. A properly-timed attack means the difference between life and death in a Souls game.

These mechanics are then set in a world designed to accommodate them. Souls mechanics would never work in a game like The Witcher 3, where players could simply observe enemies and circle around them, avoiding the confrontation entirely. Souls maps, on the other hand, are built with explicit encounter design in mind. An early encounter in Dark Souls 3 features a dragon that will easily roast unsuspecting players. You rush up some stairs, get roasted, die, and start back at the bonfire, wiser now than you were before. As you progress, you discover shortcuts that make traversal significantly easier.

Over time, you learn about the game’s world. What seemed like cruelty at first is playful and mischievous. The world becomes more readable. Dark Souls thrives on initial surprise and eventual mastery. “Git gud,” the fanbase’s mantra, isn’t so much a statement of derision as a description of the player’s evolution. The more you play, the better you become.

One of the big appeals of turn-based games like XCOM and Civilization is the way they convince their players to keep going. “Just one more turn,” you tell yourself, and before you know it, it’s 5 in the morning and you’ve been up all night and have nearly liberated Earth from an alien menace. The Souls games are like that too, but they use difficulty to accomplish the same thing. Get instakilled by a cleverly-placed boss? Before you know it, you’re back at the nearest bonfire. “That was a cheap death,” you tell yourself, “I can totally get past it.”

Dark Souls is a game of mastery, expertly crafting an emotional narrative to accompany your growing skill. Overcoming that seemingly-impossible boss is thrilling. Laughing along at the designer’s jokey ambushes is enjoyable. Souls engages you, draws you in, and delivers some of the best emotional highs in gaming.

It’s unfair to say that Souls is just a hard game; there are thousands of challenging games out there. Dead Rising 2 creates challenge through time management. Ikaruga’s difficulty is based on player reflex. Souls is a game that uses its difficulty tuning to help establish its compelling formula. Without the difficulty, so much of what makes Souls such a brilliant series would be lost.

Despite this, I wish the Souls games had an easy mode, because I can’t play it like you. I want to share in the stories and strategies. I want to beat Father Gascoigne with a Donkey Conga controller and put the video up on YouTube. I want to master the game’s systems. I want to be a part of this passionate and vibrant community so much, but I can’t.

I can’t because my body is shutting down.

Twelve years ago, I got sick. At first, it was just mild fatigue. Doctors said it was some bug that would pass. Family thought it was teenage laziness. Then it got worse. Prior to getting sick, I’d been learning to fly planes. I used to climb regularly at the YMCA. I loved boating--whether it was a 50 mile camping trip or whitewater rafting, I was there. Within months, I’d almost completely lost my ability to function. One doctor told me that, after looking at my lab results, she was amazed I had the strength to get out of bed at all.

It took four years to get a diagnosis, but instead of having some name to give my illness, like cancer or lupus or something, I was told that some genes just didn’t work right. It was a lot more complicated than that, but that’s the gist of it. As a result, I suffer from chronic pain and chronic fatigue, and I also have all the symptoms that come with a severe lack of magnesium, because my body doesn’t absorb it properly.

Chronic fatigue is a deeply misunderstood disease. People don’t get it. If you get cancer or multiple sclerosis, there is some degree of understanding there. Chronic fatigue is much harder to explain. Many people don’t believe it’s real. Some countries classify it as a mental disorder, rather than a physical one. Everything I ever wanted to do in life has been ripped away from me by this illness. Without games writing, which I’m fortunate enough to be able to do from home, I don’t know how I would survive.

During her TED talk on chronic fatigue, documentarian Jennifer Brea pauses and simply states “my brain is not what it used to be.” I know what she means, because I’ve been there. I was so much more than this. Chronic fatigue consumes everything. I’m lucky because for me, there is some degree of hope. With regular treatment, I could go back to living something resembling a normal life, but since the illness limits what jobs I can take, my income is limited, which limits my ability to pay for treatment for my illness. Dealing with my illness is as simple as a potential employer taking a chance on me so I can earn enough to pay for treatment. I don’t know how I’ll ever get to a place where I can afford regular treatment, but I hope that one day I will.

In the meantime, I play games, which are an incredible escape from chronic pain and chronic fatigue. A physical therapist once told me that people like me spend 90% of our attention on keeping pain at bay. Playing games helps offload some of that stress. But, as you can imagine, playing Dark Souls style games for me is a lot harder than it is for most folks, which makes escapism challenging. So many of my friends love finding their Dark Souls groove and playing the game for hours. I’d love to experience that too.

Most of you aren’t likely to have your hands seize up after playing for half an hour, much less be drained for an entire weekend after trying and failing to take down Bloodborne’s Father Gascoigne. An easy mode for me would mean that I could enjoy these games at the same level of effort that you do.

But it’s not that simple. Disability isn’t something most of us talk about openly. Discussing it has a tendency to make people uncomfortable; some even resent having to deal with it. It’s hard to leave the house most days, knowing that most people don’t have the compassion or patience to put up with my illness. Worse still, many people go out of their way to make things worse, justifying it with some weird, self-righteous slant I’ve never understood.

I’ve had employers force me to work in conditions that exacerbated my symptoms because they thought they could convince me that my illness was all in my mind, never mind what the doctor’s notes said. Heck, I got kicked off a podcast; two of my fellow podcasters told me they were doing me a favor. Apparently, cutting off all ties would help me magically get over my illness and manage my life better. When it comes to disability, otherwise good people can do terrible things, going to great lengths to justify their abuse as “for your own good.”

Playing games with my friends or chatting about games on forums, twitter, and Skype gives me the ability to socialize with other people without having to worry about my illness getting in the way. As long as I remain untreated, I’ll be a shut-in, but I can still have human contact through the internet.

While I can talk about my own experiences in great detail, I am far from the only person whose health issues limit gameplay options. Many disabilities limit gameplay. I have a friend with severe arthritis that makes gaming on a console impossible. Two of my friends have epilepsy, which can be triggered by playing certain video games. I’ve met people with color-blindness and deafness; all of these things impact their gameplay experience.

How far should a developer go in ensuring their audience can enjoy their work? Generally, I think it’s best to err on the side of accessibility; if a game can support a color-blind mode, it should. If a designer can ensure that hearing impaired players have good subtitles, their game would benefit from its inclusion.

With my chronic pain and fatigue issues, rapidly mashing buttons in games like Bayonetta or God of War can be physically draining; alternate QTE options would go a long way towards making games more accessible. I was delighted to discover that Dragon Age: Inquisition, a huge, open world game, had an auto-run toggle button. Splatoon offers players a wide variety of playstyles, allowing players to contribute, regardless of ability.

At the same time, I recognize that not every solution is a perfect one; shoot-em-ups like Ikaruga are built to be bright and flashy. Projectiles have to be big and bright enough to dodge. These games can trigger symptoms in epilepsy sufferers, and I don’t think there’s a way to avoid that without fundamentally changing the game’s design.

There is no easy answer, but offering multiple difficulty modes, vision modes, and allowing control customization all go a long way towards keeping games accessible.

Some developers and publishers are going the distance to make sure that disabled gamers are cared for. Microsoft has recently introduced copilot mode, which allows two different controllers to control the same game. The Xbox One Elite controller is great for players with disabilities thanks to its extensive customization options. Unfortunately, Sony does not offer similar disability support, but thanks to devices like Cronusmax Plus, you can use the Xbox One Elite controller on the Playstation 4, or even a mouse and keyboard.

As my health has deteriorated over the past few years, so has my gaming ability. Destiny’s Trials of Osiris event is a competitive multiplayer event where players must win nine matches of five rounds each against an opposing team. I went on a flawless run back in 2015, but I haven’t been since. Controllers are awful for me; playing with them often results in hand cramps and muscle spasms. It’s much less painful to aim with a mouse, so I’ve been eyeing a Cronusmax with an intent to use its mouse and keyboard controls to play Trials of Osiris again.

I was deeply concerned to hear that Jeff Kaplan, Vice President of Blizzard, had argued against the use of these devices. If Kaplan’s shortsighted suggestion became a reality, disabled gamers using assistive technologies would have their consoles rendered useless, not just for Overwatch, but for all games. Kaplan also suggested letting all consoles use mouse and keyboard controls natively, which would be fantastic for disabled gamers, but it’s frustrating to hear that he would even consider the first option.

How would an easy mode in Souls work? It’s simple: let players take a lot more damage before dying. It’s a blast to watch my friends take on the dual-boss fight of Ornstein and Smough, but that fight requires some flawless timing that I can’t always pull off. I tense my muscles when I’m trying to time things perfectly; not having to worry about timing would help me avoid triggering severe pain later on.

Obviously, there are better ways to adjust difficulty, but they would require a lot more work on the developer’s part. Tweaking enemy animations to provide longer ‘tells’ prior to attacking would be a great step. Dark Souls’ movements are animation-based, rather than input-based, which means that once you press a button, your character has to follow through with the animation before making another move. Giving player input priority over animation would let players correct mistakes a lot easier.

To a hardcore Dark Souls player, I’m sure this all sounds like heresy. The suggestions are moot, of course--From is done making Souls games, and it’s unlikely that they would ever patch in an easy mode. Souls is just an example, something I hope that future developers can learn from. I would like to enjoy your favorite game as much as you do, but I can’t, not as it is.

Playing video games literally saved my life. On my worst days, games make life bearable. Games give me community and distraction. So, when it comes to the question of whether Dark Souls have an easy mode, I think the obvious answer is yes. For me, an easy mode would let me play the game like it was meant to be played without worrying about crippling muscle spasms the next day. I just want to enjoy life and spend time with friends; games I can play without agony let me do that.

Ultimately, developers are welcome to do whatever they want to do with the games they want to make. My hope is that this piece initiates a conversation about how to open doors to everyone who wants to play or make video games. Living life with disability is hard mode, and there’s no option to change difficulties. If you have the ability to help us, would you?

#dark souls

[nullset2]

Modern Japanese Action Game Design

I'm currently playing through Platinum Games's Nier:Automata (which, by the way, it's a fucking masterpiece holy shit I love you Yoko Taro) and I can't avoid but notice a trend in the Gaming industry and the AA/AAA games it's produced as of late and I wanted to talk about them here.

First, I reiterate, I'm in love with that game. It has layers upon layers upon layers of depth. Of meaning. Its characters, its gameplay design, the lore, the world, the numbers, Mason! What do they mean!?!?!?, HOT DAMN! I love it... it may actually be a better Death Stranding than Death Stranding ever was (by the way, Kojima, you cheeky dude! I can see that you played Nier Automata and you got inspired by it ;)!) --AND it has a cute robot babe!.

(Say it with me: CUTE! ROBOT! BABE!)

Not to say that this is something inherently bad by all; you know what Ebert said, on the subject of everything being a repetition of something else: it's not about the "what", it's about the how, in storytelling.

How many stories in total does humanity have in its aquis? Like, for real, when you actually boil them down to the archetypes? You got the hero's journey, rags to riches, comedies, tragedies... all other stories are just permutations of these, aren't they? What matters is the values with which each of them are presented to you --I can watch Snow White 10,000 times, if there's a new, cool directoy behind it every time, right?

But anyway.

Since FROM SOFTWARE's Demon's Souls (yes, with an apostrophe) came out and souls-likes became popular, I think it set a trend and we've entered a new era for the Japanese action game and I wanted to discuss their aspects in this article, briefly. Cue the game journo saying it's the Dark Souls of...!. Yadda Yadda, right?

Japanese action games since Demon's Souls have the following elements, in my opinion:

Strong emphasis in Single Player design

This, I actually really like! Because, as much as multiplayer-only games are great, sometimes you need a fucking break. I want to be immersed in a Creator's vision of the World. I want to be told a great story. I want games that will still be amazing to play --not to mention, actually playable-- 20 years from now. I want to see speedrun communities form around new games.

The Single Player game must not die!

An element of pseudo-"permadeath".

Modern games use "permadeath" with small benefits, borrowing from rouguelikes, to engross the player. There's more at stake if losing to an enemy means that you lose all of your progress (even if this is superficial, like in Nier, where losing means that you have to collect your previous items and Experienve Points from your old body). It is usually rather easy to restore your previous condition, so the game implements this as a "minor penalty" to the player for not understanding its mechanics instead of a full blown game over.

Focus on hard, unforgiving enemies

Which leads me to the next point. It is very common that Japanese games have several different OHKOs, or enemies that can spawn on you unpredictably and without warning, which can work as a very ~bullshit~ succint way of setting up player expectation and direction/conveyance for the game. Don't go that way if there's a horde of skeletons waiting to fuck you up in one hit, until you're stong enough to bear it, capice?

Uncancellable animations that leave you open for long periods of time and for which you have to plan ahead

Which means that the player has to not be a superman who can take tons of bullets on a whim. Movement has to be slow and demand attention from the player. Triggering the right or wrong movement can make or break the current run. You have to be mindful of your stamina/estus flask/Mana at all times and plan ahead. The game demands dedication from its players and asks them upfront to learn its mechanics and play by its rules.

Hybrid, Internet-powered "multiplayer" features

Let's not forget that people do want Online games, but maybe... let's not do what everyone else is doing! Dark Souls' Signs and invasions, Death Stranding's Structures, Signs and Likes. You can drop a poem when you die in Nier, for the enjoyment of everyone! Wow! Emergent play is the name of the game.

Can I just mention tangentially, by the way that Nintendo actually implemented the memetic "Green Demon" stuff in Super Mario Maker 2? Japanese game designers are well aware of the Internet, my dudes.

Open world design with few, if ANY, instructions as to where to go

This one is very important and --as I'll elaborate about in a bit--, I think this was created as a direct response to modern game trends. Players want to feel like the game respects their intelligence and is not just a covert Rollercoaster ride of a single player game, of which, all of us have already played a ton of in the PS2 era. Allow people to discover the game world on their own terms, at their own pace, however they see fit. If they can sequence break --great! Allow them to do so, makes for cooler speedruns anyway, and keeps people talking about your game more, right?

"Environmental Storytelling"

And since players want to take charge and take things into their own hands, present the story in small nuggets scattered through the game world. Make them connect the dots and go online to talk about it instead of subjecting them to 80 hours of cinematics that try way too fucking hard to play like a Hollywood movie but end up feeling like cheesy deviantart fanfiction written by a 16 year old (Kojima games, for example). Make them go on message boards and talk to other players about it.

Progressive uncovering of the game world by "chunks", usually triggered by visiting a landmark or completing a mission

(This is totally borrowed from Assassin's Creed, by the way)

Focus on big, bombastic enemy design that cover the whole screen

You gotta showcase your tech at some point! Let people see how far games have come since Super Mario World for the Super Nintendo!

Fun mechanics for traversal, emphasizing engagement with the player inherent to the movement itself

Finally, make movement interesting in some way. Give the players a really cool car, make every step be physically simulated in painstaking detail, let them ride their shield like a snowboard down a mountain or let them glide beautifully down sand dunes. There's probably something very Zen and phillosophical in the middle of all these instances of great movement in games.

My thesis is that the Japanese industry started developing games like these in direct reaction to the American game industry and its production values. Games that exhibit traits of the previous at least in a couple ways: Dark Souls, Monster Hunter, Xenoblade, Zelda Breath of The Wild, Final Fantasy XV, Nier, Death Stranding, Sekiro, Bloodborne, et. al.

It's not that American (British? European?) games are bad, I love GTA and Red Dead and I got Fallout in the backburner. I have heard tons of great things about the Assassin's Creed, Elder Scrolls, The Witcher series. I am totally going to play Cyberpunk 2077 and Sleeping Dogs and Saints Row got me curious. Supposedly Just Cause is the best shit ever. I can appreciate very deeply narrative games, like The Walking Dead, The Last of Us and new experimental ideas like The Order (not very hot about that one).

But as of late and as I grow older, I get the feeling those games have been made more for the aesthetic value of it rather than the game design value, to put it some way, and to be blunt about it, American games are optimized for easy play. Don't think I'm being pedantic. On the contrary, variety is the spice of life, my friend.

Western games have a different strategy for design. They fill hours for the sake of filling hours with cinematics and exponential expansion of its game world rather than to seeking engrossment from the player in the form of, deep, highly skillful games to play.

The reason why this happens, is that now more than ever, the American game sees single-player as a nuisance, or a boring obligation at best --perhaps, merely a way to present a tutorial for newbies, to get them into the Multiplayer ASAP (where the real $$$$$$$$$ lies). Therefore, you shouldn't hold the player back or keep them in the SP for very long. You should make it so the players derive enjoyment from the game from its flow, its fast succession of change, and from the formation of online communities rather than from intricacy.

When you actually want intricacy, you give players................... fucking crafting. Just copy Minecraft, fuck it. Just add a skill tree and a million random classes to make players feel like they're progressing by filling up bars. Trying to appeal to everyone's internal MMO gamer.

And the ultimate concretion of the previous: most games let you skip entire sections if you wish.

Tired of retrying a certain section in Red Dead? Just hit SKIP. Booyah! No obligation, no demands from the game.

Case study: Red Dead Redemption plays itself.

Hahahaha.

Rockstar has used the same loop in all of their open world games for the last 20 years. Every single fucking GTA mission to have ever been releasedfollows the same structure: you drive around to a spot in the game world, watch a cutscene, then drive to another fucking point on the game map while listening to characters blab, watch another cutscene, go through a shooter/stealth section, then watch another cutsccene, and you're done. Wash rinse repeat.

And I think someone sort of confronted them and told them the truth, that nobody really likes just driving around and doing nothing else but listening to rants, if you just want to watch the story unfold. Might as well just "cut to the (literal) chase", right? Or might as well just start shifting GTA into an always-online game at this point, right? (Which they've done kind of majestically with GTA:O btw).

And what was their answer?

"How about... when you start a mission, um... just hit X button to go into "Cinematic Mode". Voila! You don't have to drive anymore!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow! Just take in the sights! And remember you can skip the game if you want! Just watch the cutscenes! Please play GTA:O please!"

Most other games have variations of this. A "super easy" mode that just emphasizes the storytelling experience.

Some Japanese games do this too, though (particularly Nintendo games). Maybe it's just a sign of the times, of gamers being old enough that they have families and responsibilities to attend to, and whose time should be respected by the video game.

In conclusion, this is definitely a trend to watch. Souls-likes have definitely become influential like no other, for the better. Great games they are. I get the feeling that this is the anthithesis to the "game that plays by itself". It's like they wanted to "come of age" and deliver robust games like their counterparts in america were, but they'll be damned if they lose the soul. The soul which gave us Famicom games. The soul of the arcade game, if you may, with several degrees of derivation, adapted for a new era.

#works #games #video games #game design

[nightblink]

Blink Reads Oathbringer - Chapters 58-63

In which I stare Branderson straight in the eye as I crank up the volume on Paleblood Moon.

I know you play this game. I see what you’re doing here.

Part Three – Defying Truth, Love Truth

[squints] I'm not sure how I feel about this Part title. That fashion folio picture on the back page though! EXCELLENT YES GIVE US MORE

Chapter Fifty-Eight – Burdens

Oh niiiiiice, we're getting transcriptions of the information crystals left in the drawers in the Urithiru library! Definitely a good type of chapter-header.

How high up is Urithiru, if even without clouds below they can't see the ground from the cliffs?

Dalinar, you're only mid-fifty-something, and you still have a tight butt. You're not that old.

Probably good to put a pause on vision-walking while you don't know how much Odium can affect them. One time alone was nearly enough to give you (and the readers) a heart attack.

Uniform design note - “right leg pocket” and it has buttons

Good, they're figuring out how to use their Fast Travel at decreased Stormlight cost; that'll definitely help with resource allocation. And they're finally going to Thaylenah!

...wait what. Kaladin is l a n d e d now, wHAT

(that land is in Sebarial's princedom, Dalinar, did you get permission form him to give that away) (...oh. part of the Crownlands, all right. fair.)

Time/event note – 'Midpeace', which is obviously the low-flow season when all the intermittent and ephemeral streams go dry, possibly the halfway mark of the year from Lightday

Kaladin, you adopt practically everyone you come across who needs it. This is just the logical extension at this point.

You'll move your family if they agree to it. Lirin might have some objections.

The Fused advance is originating from the south, likely close to the Shattered Plains since that's where the changed Listeners would have begun from. Good to know.

….why do I feel like this delay of you becoming Highking is going to have Bad Consequences.

Oooh, shit, Thaylen City is basically avalanching down upon itself from the exposure to the Everstorm. And on top of that, what must have been nearly a tsunami wiped out the docks as the Everstorm hurtled across the sea.

(Culture note – Queen of Thaylenah has a Prince Consort and not a king.)

It's just one more reason that Queen Fen didn't want the Alethi coming through – there's no real way to defend themselves at this point. It's practically all in ruins.

Chapter Fifty-Nine – Bondsmith

[gasps at the chapter title and does a screeching circuit of the room] Okay I'm good

...maybe. A Dustbringer entry this time, one of a woman who wishes to leave memory of her family. Aaaaaahhhhhh-

[cackles] You're bored, Dalinar. You just want to move on and get to the point of the visit, admit it. Keep calling him out on it, Navani.

“I am a diplomat.” Not yet, not really, Dal, but you're trying. You're trying very hard and with great honesty, you're just not used to it yet. Practice. You still need diplomatic experience, in whatever form you can get.

[screeches and rolls at the reinforcement of trust he shows in taking her hands. plural. both of them.]

Huh. So the Everstorm can have rain, or ash and embers, all sorts of variation. Good to know it's intentional and not an inconsistency on Sanderson's part.

Ah. They're using the temples as makeshift hospitals. Perhaps you can offer to send Renarin through to do what he can, Dalinar? It'd be good experience, if nothi-

Goddamn it Taravangian. As generous an offer as that is, I don't think I trust your surgeons. There's bound to be at least a few or more of the Diagram among them.

Taravangian's already written these people and this place off as Unnecessary. He just wants the Death Rattles.

Ehhhhh, letting you come here relatively alone is one thing, but letting Alethi armies come through the Oathgate? Even if she starts believing that you really want to help, I doubt that's going to happen anytime soon, Dalinar.

The throne of Thaylenah isn't hereditary, but they still call their leader 'Queen'. Do they run as a monarchy even? Interesting. We need information on how the Thaylens choose their leader(s).

OH and then we get a bit of the answer right there. Council-elected.

“Does it involve punching someone?” YES. IT DOES. OF COURSE IT DOES. EXCELLENT. PERCUSSIVE DIPLOMACY.

Ooo, that triggered something – something buried deep. Was it what broke you, that memory?

[CACKLES] Just let your emotions reach your expression, Dalinar. Even Navani thinks it'll work.

'Dalinar, instead, decided to pick a fight.' Well, that is the thing that Kholins are best at. Show 'em how it's done, Dal.

Oh my god. Dalinar. Dalinar. You're just. (SNUG UNDERSHIRT I'M DYING)

This is almost as much Drama as Jasnah

You're just going to go out there unarmed? Huh. Okay, okay, you're skilled enough that I can see you lasting the three minutes, probably disarming him at some point in the process.

He's here to make treaty with you and your people, not accuse people of assassination in a fight (that he set up). Besides, he's a Radiant with Stormlight. You're not winning this, kid.

Oop, ooop, lots of dodging, this is another part where it's very plain to see that Sando plays Dark Souls and Bloodborne

Dalinar. Dalinar what are you planning, why are you just standing there at the end of the time-

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, DALINAR. I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO MAKE A SHOW, BUT. DUDE. SERIOUSLY.

TALK ABOUT KHOLIN EXTRA™

And you're just. Going to go on and compliment him on his form as you take his hand and shove the sword further in. Casually standing there. No big deal. Just Kholin-ing your way through the scene.

Well. You've convinced them that you're a Radiant. That much is completely indisputable. I'm just not sure that you've convinced them of much else. And that's why you're disappointed in yourself, isn't it? You're thinking it yourself – other than the Stormlight healing, this sort of display is something you've done many times over. So. What do do next? What can you do?

!!!! And… you're hearing the spren of the Temple? Oh oh oh are we going to get to see you Surgebind-

Yes. Along with imbuing yourself with so much stormlight that you're lifting boulders, and I'm not sure that that's part of a Surge – you're just enhancing your strength that much, probably halfway to Plate-strength. H e r ald s.

Bondsmith.

[gasps] Are you sending for Renarin for his healing, please tell me that you are.

….and look at that, you're still going around shirtless. Fen's son seems to be in a state of confused but productive awe, though. Heh.

YOU DID BRING RENARIN TO HEAL. YESGOOD, TRUST HIM WITH RESPONSIBILITY

!!!! And you're somehow getting a sense of another language through your unique Bondsmith power? Oh man, you're basically going to be able to forge Connection once you get used to this, aren't you? Oh that is too cool.

'Renarin kept blaming the healings on him.' Renariiiiiiin, that's… you need to be able to accept the thanks for what you yourself have done. This is your power, something good, and even with no negative connotations like that carried by foresight! (…..[insert Midoriya vs Todoroki “it's YOUR power!” shout here]) What's holding you back in this instance? I… worry about you; this doesn't seem to be the same sort of reluctance that you discussed with Rock.

Culture note, Alethi military saying - “Shardbearers can't hold ground.”

Yessss, good on you admitting (aloud! And to another, independent ruler!) that you need different perspectives, that the world needs them. And then you even go for her advice, even 'unsavory' advice, with “Try me. I'm starting to appreciate that the way I usually do things has severe limitations.”

You're much changed from the man you once were.

Chapter Sixty – Winds and Oaths

….that foreword does not bode well.

!!!! STRIKE TEAM TO KHOLINAR, GO

Okay, so nine total, not a bad size since their infiltration is for an entire city. The 'maidservant' though, I wonder… is that Ishnah. Did Shallan bring Ishnah along. Ishnah doesn't know that Shallan is Veil, though. Hmmmm.

Kaladin: “how does she achieve such heedless joy?” Shallan: [suppresses all Bad Feeling so hard that they start leaking out in Multiple Personalities]

Really, though, he's idolizing her for her coping mechanisms, not her for herself, which is Not Good. I feel like Sanderson knows this, but I'll bet that this rising dread within signals the start of a Love Triangle Plot (which I hate. if you're going to do this, Sanderson, get it over with quickly and decisively, please.)

I'm snorting with laughter at Adolin, though. It doesn't seem like he's afraid of the height like Dalinar was; rather, he's too used to being in control of his own motion and is trying to correct this even though he can't. I get it, man, it happened to me the first time I went skydiving, too.

[screeches delightedly over the growing empathy/telepathy evidence we're getting from the Nahel bond]

[drags hands down face] SYL please understand that your human is demi and does not need to get laid to be happy, and let him choose any romantic entanglements he wishes for himself. If he  starts actually getting to know Shallan rather than idealizing her, that's one thing, but shoving him towards her? Especially right now? I love you dear but you are not helping in this regard.

Bless Sigzil for trying his best to quantify Kaladin's Surges so the rest of us have some idea of what's going on

([snorts] Team OT3 stopping to wisecrack at each other in midair is a lovely scene, though. Adolin self-deprecating to lighten the mood, Kaladin snarking, and Shallan going on a tangent with a punchline.)

Huh. Amazingly enough, it looks like Kholinar isn't under occupation yet, even if it is under threat of such. I'd've thought they would've launched the attack by this point.

[whoops and punches the air] Kholinar does have the colouring of the Zhangye Danxia, I was right, headcanon CONFIRMED g o d that must be utterly gorgeous with the windblades

...but of course there's a marring darkness. Odium-influence of some sort, even if the Voidbringers haven't punched through yet.

Oh, Kaladin.

[winces] Kaladin makes a very good (silent) point about Elhokar not appearing to care about his wife and son – he didn't even refer to them by name right then, and we never heard him mention them himself back in the other two books. It could be many things – an aftereffect of Gavilar's tendency to apparently ignore his own wife and probably his kids as well, I'd bet, though there is also the possibility that it was a political marriage alone and Elhokar just never came to care for his wife (and maybe even his son, when there's a good chance that he's barely even seen the kid while he's playing the war-king).

Ouch. Trying to sound decisive but then trailing off. It's good that he looks to others for their opinion, but the way he does it doesn't inspire confidence. The way Adolin automatically responds – measured and strategic without appearing to override Elhokar's authority – makes me think that this is the way it's always been. Elhokar recovers, bolstered by the given advice, but still.

Chapter Sixty-One – Nightmare Made Manifest

...well that's an inspiring chapter title. We do get a map of Kholinar, though, for which I am thankful.

The chapter quote is from a very snappish Skybreaker, but doesn't reveal much, alas.

The Fused, at the very least, aren’t afraid of unarmed, untrained humans (and why would they be?) so they see letting the refugees go into the city not as giving the enemy possible soldiers, but overwhelming their supplies and space and weakening their ability to hold a siege. Smart, really. Kaladin’s not picking up on it; the Kholins might.

Shallan’s been making damn good use of her practicing. All night is a long time to hold a single illusion, especially using only little light.

Hah – Elhokar definitely didn’t go through the army training that Adolin did, and Shallan hasn’t really had to sleep without shelter save for one night after the shipwreck. The bridgemen, of course, handle a little weathering like it’s nothing.

Oop, yeah, there it is, Adolin understands the Fused’s strategy there.

I am really worried about what might be in the Palace complex. All in shadow? Shallan’s sketch of it warped and twisted? If it’s another one of the Unmade…? The Midnight Mother was bad enough, I worry that in an urban area Branderson’s going to pull something full Bloodborne on us.

Elhokar is doing so much better than he was in the past. Giving him a goal and responsibility that he can work with that a) doesn’t require him to make public/crowd, social decisions and b) he can bounce ideas and opinions off of his crush and his cousin without feeling like they’re going to undermine him.

You can still pretty much see the bridgemen rolling their eyes in the background as he’s speaking, though.

YES YES ILLUSION TIME

I need a description of what Kaladin looks like, stat, because Adolin gleefuly calling the illusion “wretched” does not suffice, even more so when Drehy winces.

[CACKLING OVER ADOLIN’S ILLUSION THOUGH] “Oh, now that’s unfair.” “If I stretch a lie too far, people are more likely to be suspicious.” B l e s s. I can only imagine what poor Kaladin's wearing if that's what you're going with.

That line/excuse on Shallan’s part makes it even more interesting that she Lightweaves Elhokar into a woman, even with the explanation she gives. And he is immediately, perfectly fine with it. Huh. Interesting. Could be just distracted, though; he’s definitely focused and raring to go.

PFFFFFT, even Syl- Shallan what did you weave for him

Not ‘dignified’? Syl, you can totally be a mirror, come on. Wyndle made an excellent, elegant Shardfork, after all.

Elhokar, your crush is showing.

Yeaaaaah, Elhokar is cracked right through, Kal, and if the cryptics he’d seen in the mirror all the way back in TWoK was any indication… Well. At least you’re starting to see it now.

Elhokar, don’t go all fatalistic on us like this, or you might make us think it’s foreshadowing. [side-eyes Sanderson] Also, once again you say “my wife and child” without using their names; it makes you sound very… detached from them.

It’s the arrogance, Kaladin – it’s a Kholin fault for all of them save Renarin and you know it.

‘Stormblessed’ is the mask you made for yourself, even if other people gave it a name. Also mention of Tarah who we still know pretty much nothing about. That needs to change, and hopefully within this book.

‘Those strata remind me of the tunnels in Urithiru.’ In colouration? Layering? How? Sanderson plz elaborate on your geology for me.

H e r alds but Kaladin's illusion-face must be awful.

Yeaaaah, what with the situation both inside the walls and especially at the palace in severe question and no information on what's currently going on, they'll need a base of operations. This is not likely to go quickly or smoothly, and if there is an Unmade there…. oof. I wonder what kind of place Adolin's talking about though? It would be brilliant if we could meet some of his old friends – actual friends, not cordial-political friends like Jakamav and the like used to be.

Aaaaand there goes Kaladin with the needing to feel things to understand them. He needs that emotional tie to really get something.

BOYS. BOYS BEING NERDS AND SHARING SMILES. I am so glad that you two grew so believably into actual friends – from that day all the way back in Sadeas' warcamp to now, it's been a journey.

Uh oh, has the city reached capacity for the refugees it can support, or are they worried about taxing their supplies with an army on their doorstep (like the Fused planned/hoped)?

Oh goddamn it Elhokar they told you all to stay back. If nothing else, the imperious manner and demands might get them answers though (or kicked out entirely. That's also an option.)

….'Azure' does not sound like an Alethi name. It's also a colour. Do I sense a Nalthian woroldhopper…? But then how would they have made it to the rank of Highmarshal, especially since Elhokar's apparently never heard of them? I'm suspicious.

“The highmarshal has no commander.” EVEN MORE SUSPICION, AND WORSE

Look Elhokar I'm sorry but from what we've seen Aesudan is not the most competent of Queens, and it's entirely possible that the city just defaulted to martial law by this point

Weeeeeell, shit. Is this the start of the full assault, or just a harrying force?

Oh, Kaladin. You want to follow that binding urge to protect, but that's not what you're here for. Mm, thankfully, Adolin's already assessed the situation and is managing to get through to you.

There's that saying again, the second time from a Kholin - “Shardbearers can't hold ground.”

The city is stuffed to capacity. The Fused's strategy of herding the humans here to overwhelm the defenders looks to be working.

Yeah – Kaladin may have a good grasp of small-unit tactics, but overall strategy not so much. Nice to have that saying explained out, though, confirming what I thought it meant.

….is that performer basically wearing a bastardized Mistcloak

Behaviour out of the normal, and spren out of the normal too? Affected by Odium? I'm starting to wonder if I wasn't far off in thinking Branderson'd go for a touch of Bloodborne…

Oh my god, Shallan, you made him look memorably hideous. [CACKLES] Well, you're right in saying that people will remember something entirely different from how he actually looks.

“We'd need to stay with someone I'd trust with my life, or more. ”

Adolin.

Adolin please

(please help me I love this dumb, brilliant, vain man so much)

(so much)

Chapter Sixty-Two – Research

A Skybreaker at the beginning of the chapter does not fancy the idea of giving up Urithiru, but there's still no mention of why they abandoned it in the first place.

…Shallan, I know it’s for research, but can you try to attract something other than painspren. How about creationspren instead, that seems to happen around you often enough. And please, please don’t ask Adolin to do it for you, he’d probably recoil in horror at the thought.

Finally getting information on the riots! GOOD, the cliffhanger with the ardent and Aesudan was not comforting in the least.

What is comforting is, apparently, Adolin. I need more info and backstory about him and Yokska, because he feels very familiar with her, waaay beyond just an artisan-customer relationship, even though fashion is one of his Interests. We’ve seen before that he doesn’t trust his life and that of others to someone easily.

Speaking of fashion, examples of civilian fancywear, yesgood. The design seems very early-19th century English or French, which makes sense when Sanderson’s said the military ones are similar to Napoleonic ones.

[winces] Aesudan essentially provides that match for the flames of the riots, then disappears. That doesn’t bode well for her possible survival.

….Elhokar, referring to the probable-Unmade in the palace as ‘the dark spren’ without the person you’re talking to having any context isn’t exactly going to instill confidence – it just makes you sound possibly unhinged and definitely in denial.

SHALLAN, NO

Fucking hell, don’t do that, stormlight healing or no! Listen to Pattern. Effective it may be, but that’s a bad idea

….and the painspren that come to her are basically zombified versions. With claws. Lovely. That’s not good. Unmade influence, or that of Odium directly, it has to be.

Kaladin’s getting more used to being called ‘brightlord’. Not even a twitch.

Ooop, the shadow appeared after the first Pass of the Everstorm. Hmmm.

So the Royal Guard and the Watch are both AWOL – possibly dead, possibly insane, who knows with this different Unmade? Either way, no wonder the wall-guard are listening to this Azure person over anyone else. Their chain of command was thrown into chaos.

I wonder where Aesudan came to the knowledge that the Parshmen were/are Voidbringers. This was after Kholinar lost contact with the rest of the world, and Jasnah didn’t mention anything, so that information must have come from somewhere else.

Huh. Not all of the spren in Kholinar are affected by whatever it is that’s happening to them. It’s not a blanket, immediate AoE, though it could be corruption over time.

Shallan is going to give me some terrible secondhand embarrassment here, I know it.

L o r d

I was right. 'Mortifying' is definitely the correct word for that.

….the highmarshal 'appeared'. Oh, that's not suspicious at all. My money's definitely on Azure being a Nalthian worldhopper at this point, high Alethi rank or no.

So the parade wasn't just a parade, but part of a cult showing and/or ritual – the 'Cult of Moments'. And people might be having scattered visions, or might just be interpreting the changing spren as a sign.

Cultural Note: Alethi addresses for royalty at least follow the English 'your Majesty' → 'your Highness' pattern. Unknown as to others, though I might have missed a 'your Grace' at some point.

Holy shit. No wonder they couldn't call into or out of the city via spanreed, if the voidspren and Fused react to their mere activation like that.

Thank you for your support of Yokska, Shallan. She definitely needed that, and Adolin was apparently too focused to notice (he does have a tendency to tunnel-vision) though he did immediately react.

YES PLEASE FIND OUT MORE ABOUT AZURE AND THE WALL GUARD

Haaaaahahahaha Kaladin knows you did that on purpose omg

Elhokar is actimg more like the king he is now that he's not under the accidental crush of Dalinar casually steamrolling his way into power. Between his social anxiety and getting shoved out of the way in major decision-making, it was easy to misjudge said decision-making skills. (Not that his paranoia helped.)

Ooof. You may be the only one that directly faced an Unmade, Shallan, but still. Please, please skedaddle rather than face an Unmade without backup.

...also you don't want people to know about your Personality Problem. Kaladin's observant enough that he'd probably pick up on how Veil even thinks differently, though he'd already expect a disguise to act in a different manner.

HAH IT IS ISHNAH SHE BROUGHT AS A 'HANDMAIDEN'. Oh man, I wonder how Veil explained that 'their Brightlady' wanted to bring her along on this mission. That skyeel's out of the bag now, though.

And you're casually jumping out of windows now, I see. Well then.

Chapter Sixty-Three – Within the Mirror

ANOTHER MENTION OF AKINAH IN AIMIA, and this time by a Willshaper! Interesting. The mention of maps just makes me sob over Eshonai and my (now reluctantly abandoned) theory that she'd make a good Willshaper.

It's likely the trapped spren that power the fabrials somehow drawing the voidspren when they activate, so yeah, Surges wouldn't grab their attention in the same way.

Huh. Veil automatically thinks of Kaladin as 'the bridgeboy'. That's…. hmm. Adolin and Kaladin have become close enough that those nicknames they use don't feel derogatory anymore, but when Veil uses it it still feels… Not Good.

[winces] Looks like even proximity to the palace complex is having an adverse effect on those nearby, if the guards in the city manses are anything to go by. How close does the area of effect extend, I wonder…?

'She left the park as Veil playing a part. … She was still Veil. Merely in disguise.” Every chapter we get with Shallan fading to the back of her own mind, the other personalities seem to grow more… solid.

The cultists are putting a sort of guard on the Oathgate? Or are they basically doing so for the palace entire? If the Unmade has a hand in the whole spren-cult, then they're much more dangerous than any of the Strike Team first assumed. Considering that there's screams coming from the direction of a fire on the platform they guard? I wouldn't put it past them to be burning “prayers” in the form of people.

[winces again] Shallan. Bringing up the Boots Incident is not the way to endear yourself to Kaladin – quite the opposite, in fact.

…really, Veil? Really? You're eyeing up Kaladin during a mission? Not that he isn't Canonically Gorgeous, but I'm rolling with laughter here over 'dangerous eyes'. She's seeing the stone shell and nothing of the marshmallow insides. (And you think Adolin is bland? H e r alds, Veil, for all your powers of observation, they seem remarkably restrained to the superficial.) Also, Kaladin glaring at you? Not a good reaction. That's reminding me of the satisfaction you felt at the resolution of the Boots Scene, as opposed to his takeway from that same scene of 'Lighteyes take what they want from people without care or consideration.'

Ooo, shit, the Unmade-spren might have some sort of reality-warping influence, or at least some way to twist anything visual.

Veil is absolutely as foolhardy as Shallan, you're just deluding yourself.

WELL THEN. So much for not killing the messenger?

Are the guards inside all being mind-controlled? Or are they dead and reanimated? I wouldn't put it past Odium to zombify people. And what was that figure in the mirror, white-eyed and surprised? A spren, a human?

She's getting better all the time at her infiltration and distraction skills, but her coping mechanisms just keep bottling emotions and reality away deeper and deeper.  Sooner or later, this is going to explode, and it's going to be messy.

The pun duo strikes again.

#blink reads oathbringer #oathbringer spoilers #I didn't think there was going to be a reason why I occasionally wrote SA well to this song #WELP #ABOUT THAT

[docandprof]

Why Did This Week Suck and Not Suck so Much?

Salutations good sir!

Man this week was a rollercoaster of emotions. Honestly probably one of the hardest weeks I have ever endured. But before that, lemme take a hot sec to answer some of your questions and comment on you. First and foremost, I'm SUPER proud of you and how much of an adult you are becoming! Your life seems, if not more than, as crazy as mine does. It always brings a smile to my face when you tell me how you are breaking out of your shell in more social and professional environments because when it’s us and the gang, you are more than sociable, so I see it as more the world is getting to see the true version of you, a dorky pensive goofball. Even though this wasn't in your post, because we talk outside of said blog, I was really happy that Lyss was able to go see you two and spend some time with ya. I can’t wait to see you all for Thanksgiving, which is just a few short weeks away!! Also, when are you coming home for that? I'm gonna be in Iowa from that Tuesday until maybe Friday morning so I wanna see you when I can before I have to leave again. You might have to share me with Jaynie at that point because I'm not gonna have tons of time to see everyone. Ummmm your question for the week was kinda hard because I would want everything to be magical. Buuuuut, if I had to choose, I would probably go with something inconspicuous like a magic watch that when you open it or interact with it in whichever way the player sees fit, a portal opens from which you can pull/store anything like Hermione's bag. Or it’s imbued with some sort of element and you can get creative with what it can affect, like you click it and you turn into a flame-man or different parts of you take on the characteristics of the different elements a la Ben 10. So yeah, something like that.

Now for my week in retrospect! Let’s see, Halloween here at school is more of a big deal on the weekend (Halloweekend is what they call it) because that is when all the parties are, so I stayed in and studied and did work like a good lil noodle. I did dress up in my Superman onesie while I did work so that was kinda in the Halloween spirit. So lemme just preface what my academic week entailed and then we can get into it. Monday: 3-4 page Spanish paper was due, Tuesday: Orgo lab report due, Wednesday: Test corrections due for my Bioclocks test, Spanish essay test, History of Warfare test where like every subject involved some iteration of Charles, Frederick, Philip, Henry or some Pope, Friday: massive Orgo test, big project due at midnight for my Brain Damage class, and another assignment for said class. And inbetween all of those things, I had to study for all 3 tests, perform a continuous sleep study on myself, help mediate/console 2 friends who are dating/like each other but being stupid so I'm being the good friend who listens and tries to help, AND still dealing with my own emotional shortcomings. Ok got the picture? Simple enough? Good. OH! And I planned out the rest of my classes for the rest of college in order to be prepared and efficient for class registration, which is tomorrow for me.

So I did what I had to do and I buckled down, studying and working on everything while trying to be a good friend for these two love birds. Now I think the earliest I ever got to sleep this past week was 3 in the morning, and I woke up at 8 every day, so my body was really pushing its limits. I didn't really feel stressed out in the beginning of the week, which is normal for me. You know me better than anyone, so you know that I'm pretty calm under pressure and don't panic, which I just consciously realized is all God. I always knew that everything I did wasn't by my own strength and that I am extremely blessed and favored, but it never really registered in me that the reason for my stress-free life is because I have faith in God that he will take care of me and everything will work out in accordance with his plan and if God provides for the birds, why would he not provide for his own beloved children. So that was pretty cool to actively know that. Now back from my sermon of the week to our previously scheduled programming. Totally ok during the week, and then Thursday hit. I was feeling like crap, like actual crap, no figure of speech there or excuse to include some profanity, I was really not feeling well. But I had already asked Nidhi if she wanted to go get breakfast that day at 9 because I haven't had a real breakfast in forever. I ate like 3 bites before I started to feel worse. So we do breakfast and then move to go do work. Standard stuff, studying, tried to eat a lil something for lunch, couldn't. So I went back to the house and kept studying until I finished the notes and felt like I had an ok grasp on the material. Later that day, my friend Jordan came over and we were studying together and she would ask me a question about something, but I just had no idea how to answer, so we moved on to the practice test which we both usually do pretty well on. But we couldn't even make it past the first question without having to look everything up and I was getting really frustrated at that point because I had been studying for over a week. Now at this same point in time, in addition to the friends in love problem thing, I was getting frustrated with myself over this whole Jaynie situation because I'm me and I haven't told her how I feel and it has been eating at me for a bit and she has been busy so we hadn't been talking a lot and you know how I get attached to the people around me, so not talking to one of my favorite people was pretty frustrating. And we were talking at the time of my failure to even attempt the practice test and I was telling her that I was getting frustrated amongst other things. She asked me what was wrong and if I wanted to talk about it, and I said yes and no because it’s complicated and I wanted to tell her everything but it’s hard to tell her some of the reason for my anxiety was because of her and my feelings for her so that worsened things on my end because she could tell I was losing it, so she used my own advice I gave to her earlier that week against me that I needed to talk to someone and not internalize my feelings. So at that point I kinda just lost it and left the house to go on a walk. I was gonna call you because I tell you everything, but it was like 1 in the morning at that point and you were asleep, and I was gonna call my dad because he and my brother have a close relationship and I know that he will always be up and willing to listen and give me some advice, but I didn't do any of that. Instead I called Jaynie. I had no idea what I was doing, but I knew that I had to hear her voice. Luckily she answered, and I was initially just gonna call and say thanks for helping me through it and that I was gonna call my dad afterwards, but I never did and we ended up talking for a little bit and it felt really good. She knew that the best way to calm me down was to ask me about other stuff like the crappy dodgeball game and some other stuff to get my mind off things and it was really just what I needed. We didn't really address anything else major, even though I really wanted to bring us up, but I didn't and after we were done on the phone she sent me nice text telling me that I always had someone to call and that I don't always have to be perfect. So outta my ashes of a first mental breakdown came some solace and some good in that one call. But yeah, that was my week.

As for this upcoming week, I'm pleased to announce that Jaynie will be coming back for the weekend because I invited her! Nidhi is dancing in the Diwali showcase on Saturaday, which is an Indian festival thing and she is super excited to do it, so I figured it would be a nice surprise if her best friend came into town to see her dance. But we are ALSO going to another concert after Nidhi’s dance and that is gonna be fun because we know the band personally. More on them later in the recommendations. And so we had this all set up to surprise Nidhi, but things kinda got twisted around logistically, so we had to tell Nidhi about it since Jaynie is gonna be staying the weekend with her and she didn't wanna just blindside her like that, so I told Nidhi what was going on and she was so happy, so I'm pretty excited for this weekend for 2 reasons, which are pretty obvious and need no further words ;). The only thing I have to get done this week is to write a research paper for Friday, but I think that’ll be ok. Life is on the upswing right now.

Ok recommendation: this band we are seeing is called Arlie, and the guitarist was the RA of the floor my friends and I hung out on all the time last year in Memorial and we are good friends with him. But they just signed a record deal, and they have their single out on Spotify right now and it is actually decently popular with like over a million listens already, so check out Arlie and their single because I think you would enjoy it. Question of the week: have you ever thought about watching Silicon Valley on HBO? I have seen the first episode and am wondering if you would like to watch with me? Oh, I also have watched all of the Bloodborne and Dark Souls 3 play throughs on IGN, so praise the sun for that!! Now that I have once again plot dumped on you, I bid thee farewell.

With all my love,

the doc

P.S. - don't forget to tell Dev happy birthday!!

#arlie #diwali #firstmentalbreakdown #itisdone

[aurimeanswind]

Your Greatest Gaming Binges & ExtraLife 2017—Sunday Chats (11-5-17)

There is a lot going on. And I mean a lot. Behind the scenes. In front of the scenes. All in preparation for this coming weekend, where we and my team of internet friends from all over the Continental United States will be participating in ExtraLife 2017, an event I have participated in for seven years, and this will be my eighth. 

First, some context.

I tell this story every year, so I apologize if its trite to you, but its the truth. In 2009 I was diagnosed with a more ethereal-type disease called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. It plagued my life for about seven months, causing me to be homeschooled during my Junior Year of High School, drop all of my Advanced Placement classes, and stop seeing my friends for weeks on end. It through off my college plan. It ruined my life. It made me miserable and unhappy. And I lost hope until I started seeing a specialist, Dr. Rowe, at John Hopkin’s Medical Center in Baltimore Maryland. With physical therapy, medication, and exercise, I was able to finish my Junior year of High School, and live a normal life until I relapsed in my Senior Year of High School, and had to retread old ground again, more frustrated, and more determined this time.

In 2012 i fell into a deep depression. Scared, alone, and as I slowly coiled up into my room and stopped seeing my friends, going to school, going to work, or doing anything, I had no one to turn to. Until I reached out to Dr. Rowe. He was a Chronic Fatigue specialist, but I remembered part of CFS is depression, something that I didn’t have to experience at the time. He gave me the depression test that I had passed with flying colors every other time I had seen him, and, stunned at the change, helped me start a path on a better and less mental-illness-plagued life without depression.

Every year, my team donates to John Hopkin’s Medical Center. It’s a place that irrevocably changed my life. It gave me hope when I had none, and set me on a better, healthier path. This is my way to give back.

So join us, this coming Saturday starting at 12pm Eastern Standard Time, at http://twitch.tv/IrrationalPassions, and donate to a cause that has helped me and countless others. All the details of who is coming, what we’re doing, and what you can do to help are or will be live soon at http://IrrationalPassions.com/ExtraLife.

Thank you, for all your support, and I hope to see you there helping us stay up and keeping us jolly.

It’s also with massive pride that I can fully announce that Greg Miller, Gen Miller, and Joey Takagami will be joining us from San Francisco California, and Greg is bringing Portillo too! Check out this video Roger Pokorny and I made to convince him to come:

I’m excited to see you all there, in spirit, for our wacky shenanigans!

Now... I onto the entrée.

Your Greatest Gaming Binges

Today, as is now customary for the first Sunday of each month, I asked YOU ALL a question, and it was about the most intense gaming marathons you all have gone on. Specifically single-session, and specifically why.

Now, I’ll say, full disclosure, you should always remember to consume the average amount of calories, vitamins, and minerals in your diet everyday, and take care of yourself: sleep when you need to, drink plenty of water, and listen to the recommendations of the FDA and USDA (here in the states) to better understand what your body needs, to live a better, and more fulfilling life. But I aside from the self-destructive aspects of binging gaming sessions, I love a game that gets its hooks in you so hard that you just can’t. Stop. Playing.

I have had countless 12-hour+ gaming sessions that have left me bleary-eyed, but still bushy tailed from the amazing stories that have come from them, and with a year like this year, I think there are many out there from this year alone. I wanted to hear your stories!

First, one of mine.

Danganronpa 1. Boy oh boy. I think I’ve infamously talked about it at this point. But when that came out I was so incredibly obsessed with it. It was all I played for days, and I’d roll out of bed, grab my Vita, and keep playing, until I rolled into bed, played until I felt asleep, rinse and repeat. It was an incredible few days of gaming, and it was what got me back into visual novels.

Now, to the audience!

See, I love the classic gaming sessions. I think that was a totally different era of playing games too. Hearing times of people playing Street Fighter 2 and just going were the best. And shoutout to Super Techmo Bowl, because that game is fucking rad.

I can’t get into Minecraft, but I like the multiplayer love. Scott, Evan and Tony, my cohosts on IP, helped run a big Minecraft Server for over a year. The stories to come out of those play sessions are magnificent, and I was into the jolly cooperation.

MGS4 is fucking crazy. Luckily there is plenty of movie time to go get snacks in that game. I think I beat that game in three or so sessions, so I get it.

BUT HELL YEAH JAK 3 AND SLY COOPER. Those games are so rad. Well deserving of massive play sessions. I remember going out and buying Red/Blue 3D glasses because I rented Sly 3 from GameFly and didn’t get them. I ended up steeling them out of a display box in a Blockbuster (DON’T TELL ANYONE) so i could have the cool Sly Cooper branded ones.

But boy. Jak 3 in one day. That’s a tall ask.

See, I wish I played MGS at all in the era of when you only played one game because it’s all you had. I only ever really experimented with multiple play throughs when it came to MGS4, and that was still a ton of fun, but I wish I could have done it with something like MGS2 or 3.

The different styles of play are what make those games so hard to put down too, even though I just played the same way the whole time. Like a loser.

Get a better game Plankfan, because I can’t do this Garden Warfare bullshit.

Kidding, but yeah I think of the multiplayer bingers, Overwatch has taken the cake, and that’s the most class-based of all, considering each character is their own cup of tea.

Very much so! Game rhythm is super important to how hard you can binge it. Especially with single player stuff. Like, Rocket League has tons of ups and downs and variety therein, so the rhythm is changing all the time. Single player games need a good loop, and facing off against the next villain really pulls you through Akrham Asylum. Especially with the Metroidvania-esque format.

I’m curious to what you thought of it, ultimately, because I like that game a great deal, but nothing in Deus Ex really blew me away. I think it was just a very good “one of those” with no unique hooks really. I know a lot of people have different feelings about that, but any immersive sim really makes me never want to put it down, so I get it.

You should do the same with Dishonored 2, because it’s v good.

FUCK YEAH.

Kingdom Hearts 2 is one of those games I spent 14 hours straight playing during ExtraLife 2010 and never looked back on. I love it. I could play that game all day.

Oh my god yes. Just like the Minecraft love I love this too. And the loop of that is great.

I have never really had a LAN party for anything, but ExtraLife is the closest I’ve come to that. I really like the loop of all that too. I played Halo 2 with my brother and his friends when I was younger and it was a blast. Boy... This sounds like it’d still be rad today.

Another Arkham game. I really jive with this one too, but City has just enough Open World in it to keep me fully immersed. I started playing that game after a midnight launch and just didn’t stop. It’s the same idea of wanting to see the next villain, especially after Freeze shows up. Whoooooo boy.

Oh boy. My recent trip back to Skyrim has brought me back here, because good lord do I just want to grab everything everywhere forever. And my inventory limit simply does not agree with my life choices on that front.

I think Skyrim was the game that got me to break away from my completionist tendencies too, because It’s just a game that I don’t think would be fun to fully complete after a while. It’d just burn thin too soon.

Hell yeah! That’s a game I played a ton of when I first started it. I think my second session with that game was somewhere around eight hours, but then Zelda came out and I just stopped. I want to finish that game before the end of the year, if anything to see the story through, but those open world games just bring the most out of all of us.

BRING IT BACK.

BRING IT BACK.

BRING IT BACK.

Bloodborne is just so incredible. I love just letting myself go in that world too, because that truly is a game I could sit down with for an entire ExtraLife. I know it wasn’t your cup of tea, but I love it. The same has been true of all my other Souls experiences, because those are games that get their hooks in and just don’t let go. I think those are the games best suited to playing across multiple sessions too, since some time away is usually what you need to get past a boss you’re stuck on.

The ultimate binge game: The Witcher 3. That’s a game that I couldn't really podcast with either, because every snippet of every conversation was just so compelling for me. But of course, the monster dens and boss fights were where the podcasts came in anyway. Boy. What a fucking game.

Thank you all for writing in your answers! I hope folks still like this format, and I’m excited to do more of these. Been thinking of ways to spice up Sunday Chats going forward, and while I have some soft ideas in the pipeline, we’ll see what I ultimately end up on.

As I said last week, I currently have no intention of doing a Sunday Chats next week as it’ll be as we wrap on ExtraLife 2017, and I’ll preferably be dead. But we’ll see! Just don’t expect one, and certainly won’t be taking questions.

Regardless, I’d love it if you tuned in next week, Saturday, starting at Noon Eastern Time, to watch us play games and do dumb stuff!

http://twitch.tv/irrationalpassions

Be there

And keep it real.

#video games #sunday chats #gaming #extralife #skyrim #rpgs #binging sessions #gaming sessions #24 hours

[mrslittletall]

Title: The Crazy Cat Vicar (Chapter 4) Fandom: Bloodborne Characters: Laurence the first Vicar, Micolash Host of the Nightmare, Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower, Gehrman the First Hunter Word Count: 1.688 AO3-Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20989841/chapters/52176379

Previous chapter: https://mrslittletall.tumblr.com/post/188884037944/title-the-crazy-cat-vicar-chapter-3

Summary: Laurence' friends are meeting Mick. The kitten shows more of its character.

(Author's note: So, the first chapters of this were a lot more story driven but I actually want to make it focus mainly on every day life with cats, so starting this chapter, it will be more a few headcanons along with slice of life with cats scenarios.)

A few days later Mick had not only grown an inch or two, he also had gotten familiar with Laurence' office and was all too eager to explore the rest of the church.

Before Laurence let the kitten out of his office though, he held his promise to Micolash and let him into his office to take a look at the kitten that was his namesake.

Once Laurence had entered the room, Mick had jumped off the couch, mewing at his sight, coming closer with his tail straight in the air, but he stopped once he noticed that Micolash had followed Laurence and his tail started to swing around at the sight of the intruder.

“Well, Micolash, this is Mick.”, Laurence said, kneeling down to observe the cat as Micolash got closer and kneeled down too, thoroughly studying every feature at the black kitten.

“You are right, this cat kind of looks like me.”, Micolash said and extended a hand to pet the kitten which got dismissed with a hiss and made Micolash pull back his hand in an instant.

“Don't scare him like this. Let him come to you first.”, Laurence said. “Or give him some dry fish treats. He loves this stuff.”

Ever since Laurence had brought Mick back the kitten clearly had demanded to get fed with dry fish treats regularly and so it became a daily occurrence for Laurence to either go to the fish store himself or send someone, usually Florence, to get them for him. Right now he tossed Micolash a small bag filled with the treat which got caught by his friend.

As Mick saw, or more smelled, the bag, he mewed excitedly and came closer to Micolash, not caring anymore that there was a scary stranger. “See.”, Laurence grinned and sat himself on the couch as he observed how Micolash made friends with Mick over the dry fish treats.

Once the kitten was full and cleaning himself, Micolash sat himself to Laurence on the couch. “And you just picked him off the cemetery? Why?”, he asked.

“Because he was cute.”, Laurence said. “And maybe I felt a bit sorry for him... Could be that he also reminded me a bit of myself...” Maybe it hadn't been a coincidence but fate that he had met the cat at his parents grave? Laurence wasn't too sure about it, but he knew that he didn't regret taking Mick in. “Also I always wanted a cat.”

“I know. Back at Byrgenwerth it was super easy to distract you by just throwing a cat at your direction. It would ensure that you would spend at least thirty minutes playing with it or trying to play with it.”

“Wait, does that mean every time I saw a cat you have placed it there to get a head start on studying from me?”, Laurence narrowed his eyes, a mystery from his school years suddenly unveiled.

“Not every time, but often.”, Micolash grinned. “But what does this matter anymore, we both dropped out.”

“And we managed to build this.”, Laurence gestured at their surroundings. “We wouldn't have made it that far when we had stayed.”

Laurence and Micolash talked a bit more, at one point Mick came to them to cuddle on with Laurence on his lap and let Micolash pet him, starting to purr loudly. As Micolash offered to get them some drinks, so Laurence wouldn't have to disturb the cat by moving, the kitten suddenly was wide awake, its eyes round like plates and as abrupt as he had awoken, Mick zoomed off, zigzagged through the office, mewed and hissed in nothing at particular, attacked the curtains and jumped from the couch to the shelf to the desk.

Micolash and Laurence just stared at this behaviour dumbfounded.

“Did he get stung by a Hornet or what?”, Micolash asked as he set the glasses down on the couch table and promptly picked them up again when Mick brushed them and they started to wiggle.

“I heard of this behaviour.”, Laurence said, as a kid he had often hung around people with cats and they had told him a lot of stories. “Cats sometimes do it to get rid of too much energy. They call it the crazy five minutes.”

“And you really named this cat after me?”, Micolash said, sitting down again, waiting for Mick's “five minutes” to be over.

“Hey, don't you see the striking resemblance in looks and behaviour?”, Laurence grinned at him and got a light smack on the head from Micolash's side.

After Mick had cavorted enough, he came back to Laurence' lap and plopped down on it. Now that the storm was over, Micolash could finally pour them in their drinks.

They talked a bit more before Micolash excused himself and left Laurence and the kitten alone. Laurence picked Mick up carefully from his lap and lifted him to his face: “Time for you to see the rest of the church.”

Introducing Mick to the rest of the church went surprisingly smooth. The kitten didn't want to see that much at first, pretty much was satisfied after he had done a few steps outside the office, body so close to the ground that his stomach almost hit the floor when he snuck around.

The second day Mick was becoming more brave and explored the whole hallway under Laurence' supervision and on the third day he got curious enough to try and mount the stairs to the upper floor, but he was still small and barely made it so Laurence put him on his shoulders and went up the stairs for him, the kitten staring at everything around them with wide eyes, apparently feeling comfortable sitting on Laurence' shoulders so that he didn't made any tries to jump down. As Laurence was carrying Mick around, occasionally commenting on something church related, he ran into Gehrman and Maria who apparently had decided to visit the church.

“Oh, hey, Laurence, how is it going?”, Gehrman said as he noticed his friend, Maria nodded along to his words. Gehrman's eyes lighted up when he saw Laurence' little companion and he said: “Is that the kitten you picked up? Look at him, he really looks like Micolash.” Gehrman laughed and let the kitten play with his finger, always pulling it away whenever Mick would have caught it. The hind claws of Mick though pierced rather painful through Laurence' shoulders.

“Ouch... stop this, Gehrman, don't fix him on like this!”, he complained. “This hurts... and he makes holes in my clothes!”

“Ah, sorry.”, Gehrman said, retreating his fingers. Mick still stared at them when Laurence removed him from his shoulders to carry him in his arms instead.

“What are you doing here?”, Laurence asked.

“Gehrman was thinking about recruiting a few more hunters to help with the beasts that occasionally escape the pthumerian graves and because the workshop doesn't have enough room for them, we wanted to take a look if the church would have enough room to house them.”, Maria answered on his behalf. As she spoke she had a dreamy look in her eyes and suddenly asked: “May I pet the kitten?”

“Hm, oh, sure...”, Laurence said, holding Mick out to Maria who leaned into her touch, staring to purr in an instant. Then it hit him what Maria had said: “Wait, you want to house hunters here without having asked me first?!”

“That is why we were looking first.”, Maria said, smiling at Mick, “Before we know if there is room it wouldn't make a lot of sense to ask.”

“Actually makes sense...”, Laurence said. “Listen, you can feel free to search for a lot in Cathedral Ward to establish a workshop there. The one you have is really really small, it barely has room for you two. It could be better when all the Hunters are at the same place.”

“Really? Thank you, Laurence!”, Gehrman said, his eyes lighting up. “I make sure to bring some treats for your cat next.” After he had said that, Gehrman had dashed off. Maria gave Mick a last pet and followed him: “We'll see each other around.”

After this encounter Laurence' life got back to normal, only difference was that he had a cat with him now. Mick mostly still stayed in his office, but he opened him the door whenever he wanted out or in. At the moment, Mick was waiting in front of the door, demanding to be let out when Laurence was busy sighting the daily newspaper.

As Mick's mews got too irritating, Laurence sighed, stood up and walked the short distance to the door to open it. Once Mick had slipped out, he closed the door again, walked back to his desk and straightened the newspaper to continue reading.

Not even five minutes later Laurence heard Mick scream outside of the door, demanding to be let in. “That was quick...”, Laurence murmured and opened the door. Mick slipped in and Laurence went back to his desk.

A few minutes later Mick was mewing at the door again. “Really?”, Laurence said as he stood up to let Mick out. As he heard the mewing of Mick to be let in just as he had sat down and picked up the newspaper to continue reading, his patience ran out. He hurried to the door, opened it and when Mick came in, Laurence tapped his foot, saying: “In... out... would it be so hard to just decide what you want?!”

Mick just stared at Laurence with his big yellow eyes and turned around to go outside again. The rest of the day the door of Laurence' office was ajar.

The next day, Laurence found Gehrman in his workshop and before his friend could even say hello, he murmured: “Gehrman, I need you to build a cat door into my office. Ask no questions.” After that, Laurence left leaving a very confused Gehrman behind, but found the requested cat door had build in the next day. (Author's note: Isn't a cat that can't decided if it wants in or out the most annoying thing ever?!) Next chapter: https://mrslittletall.tumblr.com/post/190664879069/title-the-crazy-cat-vicar-chapter-5

#bloodborne #fanfiction #laurence the first vicar #micolash host of the nightmare #lady maria of the astral clocktower #gehrman the first hunter #littlewritesstuff

[the-astral-clocktower]

do all the questions !!

All the questions? Sure, why not? Insomnia is making me its bitch anyway1: How did you choose your name?- originally I was gonna go with Lilith from Borderlands 2 because yes please to her entire aesthetic, but I decided to go with the more "normal person" name Maria. Partly because of the lead singer of In This Moment, Maria Brink (absolutely gorgeous, phenomenal singer, and the Black Widow album helped inspire me to live true to myself), and Lady Maria from Bloodborne (she's got a Tragic Backstory, feel disconnected from family due to traditions/ environment, and has regrets about who sent was). All in all, one is a person I admire to be like and the other feels like I'm looking in a mirror. Both are also women with blonde hair and I think I look damn good as a blonde2: What gives you the most dysphoria? -Facial/ body hair3: Do you have more physical dysphoria or more social dysphoria?- Most of the time, physical dysphoria. Social dysphoria still gets to me because I'm not out to my family and everyone in that group refer to me with childhood nicknames/ my "(grand) son/ nephew." 4: What do you do to perform self-care when you’re feeling dysphoric?- Shower, shave, lie in bed and dissociate while playing mindless games on my phone 5: What was the first time you suspected you were transgender?- this is actually a hard one for me to answer. I was (in a weird/ sad reality) really sheltered as a kid, in the sense that I didn't even know transgender people were a thing until High School. I think part of it started when I began playing runescape in middle school; I chose a female avatar and went with a generic female name whenever someone in game asked for it. For some reason, I really enjoyed being addressed like that but chocked it up to being like 12. Similar thoughts came up again in HS when I was told on several occasions and by several people that I'd make a pretty girl; again, I took it as a compliment and it made me feel really good about myself. Other times were also when I was asked "what would you do if you suddenly woke up as a girl?" my answer was usually "go back to sleep and go try on cute clothes" and also being super jealous of girls at school dances (wanting to wear the gorgeous dresses/ heels/ makeup)6:When did you realize you were transgender?- January of 2014, when I had read on Tumblr about Leelah Alcorn. It was extremely depressing to read her letter and diary entries about her personal life; while reading everything, I kept realizing that I felt almost exactly the same way she did, and by extension that I was also trans7: What is your favorite part of being transgender?- just being able to feel comfortable in my own skin, and also getting to wear all the cute shit I wanted to in HS8: How would you explain your gender identity to others?- the people I have come out to, I simply as them not to use he/him pronouns because I outright don't identify as such. It's pretty simple9: How did you come out? If you didn’t come out, why do you stay in the closet? Or what happened when you were outed?- at first, I only told people when we were able to talk 1 on 1. As I've gotten more comfortable with my identity, I gladly come out to people that I'm comfortable around. I still need to come out at work which I'm avoiding for 2 reasons. The first is that I don't know how open-minded/ accepting my coworkers/ boss are; the second being that I want to get on hormones so that there's no turning back on what I say and how I feel10: What have your experiences with packing or wearing breast forms been?- haven't done anything with breast forms yet, probably gonna be uncomfortable though 11: What are your experiences with binding or tucking?- tucking is a hassle in general. It either falls apart quickly, or I ended up sitting down or walking wrong and hurting myself. 12: Do you pass?- I highly doubt it atm13: What (if any) steps do you want to take to medically transition?- optimally I want the full 9 yards. Hrt, permanent hair removal, SRS, and possibly feminizing facial surgery 14: How long have you been out?- I'd say close to 3 years15: What labels have you used before you’ve settled on your current set?- only he/him and that's due to being oblivious for so long16: Have you ever experienced transphobia?- yes. A lot of internalized transphobia; but there have been a few times where someone will show me something they find funny, and it turns out to be in extremely poor taste17: What do you do when you have to go to the bathroom in public?- I prefer gender neutral bathrooms, so I ended up holding it in for longer than I should18: How does your family feel about your trans identity?- don't know for sure, but probably gonna get disowned to some degree19: Would you ever go stealth, and if you are stealth, why do you choose to be stealth?- I don't plan on being 100% stealth, but I'm also not going to hide anything out of fear. Kinda like Don't Ask Don't Tell, I'll answer truthfully, but I won't go out of my way to explain it all20: What do you wish you could have shared with your younger self about being trans?- "you know those weird thoughts to get from being addressed as a girl and the happy butterflies in your gut? Roll with it, tell someone that you want to see a Dr about it. Be prepared for a ton of BS, it'll be worth it in the end. Stay strong, kid"21: Why do you use the pronouns you use?- mix of "why should I be addressed by something that makes me feel like shit?" and "fuck off with this binary shit"22: Do your neurodivergencies affect your gender?- maybe, I think my gender compounded the divergences that were already there 23: What’s your biggest trans-related fear?- safety. So many trans people are attacked and killed that it makes me hesitant to even bother. But I'm known for being stubborn and having a devil may care attitude 24: What medical, social, or personal steps have you already taken to start your transition?- I've come out to 90% of my friends and I've got a therapist that's willing to write me a letter of recommendation to get me started on HRT. I'm currently looking for a DR in the North Tx area anyone knows one25: What do you wish cis people understood?- gender identity =/ sexual orientation 26: What impact has being trans affected your life?- it's made me rethink how I view issues in the world, but also more cynical 27: What do you do to validate yourself?- look at my ugly mug and the mirror after a hot shower and say "you're a boss and bitch, don't let up now"28: How do you feel about trans representation in media?- we need significantly more accurate portrayals29: Who is your favorite trans celebrity?- off the top of my head, I only know of Laverne Cox, so she's #1 by default 30: Who is the transgender person who has influenced you the most?- Leelah Acorn, the tragedy of her death allowed me to realize why I was so miserable for so long 31: How are you involved with the trans community, IRL or online?- not much, if at all. I'm not super big on communities but that's only due to trust and self image issues 32: How do you see yourself identifying and presenting in 5 years?- hopefully full femme made and keeping NB/ trans femme33: What trans issue are you most passionate about?- my mind is 100% here ATM because it's 4am, so I can't think of anything other than wanting HRT to be more accessible to people instead of having to jump through hoops 34: What advice would you give to other trans people, or what message would you like to share with them?- safety first, pride in oneself second35: How do you feel your gender interacts with your race, disability, class, weight, etc. from the perspective of intersectionality?- I personally don't think it does but that's only because I'm a white person in the 20s36: What, if any, is the difference between your gender identity and your gender expression?- none at all37: Do you feel more masculine, feminine, or neither?- fem/ neither 38: What is your sexual and romantic orientation, and what are your thoughts on it?- only interested in women and NB people. In my head, I like the theory of being with a guy, but feel no sexual attraction to them39: Is your ideal partner also trans, or do you not have a preference?- no preference40: How did/do you manage waiting to transition?- think to myself "next paycheck, I'm gonna find a Dr and get this train moving"41: What is the place (blog, website, forum, IRL space) you get most of your info on being trans or on trans related things?- google, tumblr and reddit42f Do you interact with other trans people IRL?- got a friend that I used to work with at pizza hit who's a trans guy. You know who you are ^.^43: Are you involved in any trans-related activism?- not really, but I do want to get involved