#i'm trying to remember everything

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 5: Flip Slip.

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 4.5)

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #mdzs au #Yungmang Jiang Training Arc AU #lan wangji #wei wuxian #digital art #Trying out some digital techniques to see if I can get closer to feel/style of my traditional comics. #So far the biggest difference is *colouring* Digital colouring feels...not good. I have complained about this before and I'll complain agai #Before we get into the sad stuff with Yungmeng Jiang in the PD-MDZS comics lets have some lighthearted fun! #Remember that if anything bad happens to these Jiang disciples in the canon comic - they are happy in this AU B'*) #I think one of the funniest things about the teenxian dynamic is how WWX accidently finds things that get LWJ to feel flustered. #My guy wwx goes 'I'm going to lightly bully/tease this nerd 'cause his reactions are funny.' and LWJ goes “My god. He's everything to me.” #Part two of the fun part of this dynamic is that LWJ is ever so lightly self aware enough to LOATHE THIS CRUSH. #Hence why I have been marinating on this 'Accidental Lan headband miscommunication' concept. #This is how LWJ assumes that WWX knows what the band means in this AU. This will be relevant later. #And YES! I am still going to be making comics for this AU. I have so many ideas I simply can't hold onto forever.

[uncanny-tranny]

If somebody in your life offers to knit or crochet or, really, create anything for you, please be an active participant in the creation of the piece they are making. I adore making and gifting things, but nothing bums me out quicker than a person who passively just goes "okay," to my ideas about what I'm making them - it can send the message that they won't like it, or that they don't care, even if they're happy about my offering. The back-and-forth feedback is a great way to make sure that you are being gifted something that was truly worth the time, effort, expertise, and money that will inevitably go into the gift!

I know it's really hard to be an active participant, believe me, I'm an anxious ball of horror, but it will only do good for both parties to interact in this situation. It is a big deal to be offered a hand-crafted gift, but it's also something we want you to love and use, and that can only happen if you tell us what would make you fall in love with what we create.

#advice #relationships #art #fiber art #knitting #crochet #i always try to remember that some people's responses to something big is to clam up and become more passive... #..i just want to remind you that you aren't in danger of Ruining Everything by suggesting things or asking questions or saying what YOU wan #like i asked my dad specifically how he would feel if i made him items SPECIFICALLY so i could gauge if he would like them for instance #i don't just want to create something i want the recipient to actually LIKE it #which is why i typically (not always) ask how somebody would feel about me giving them a specific gift #i know some people genuinely don't care in the sense that they would appreciate ANYTHING but sometimes that doesn't always translate i gues #im crocheting a set of coasters for my dad and i really hope hell truly like them because i'm not sure based on how he responded to my ideas #it makes me so happy to gift things but it's with the caveat that the recipient will think it is An Amazing Gift That Is SO Good And Useful

[teaandinanity]

Fanart for a certain scene in chapter 3 of Servant to a Different King by @tossawary that smacked me upside the head and said 'DRAW' (I am having such a good time, it is such a treat to read!)

#if tumbrl eats the image quality I'm going to cry but also if I size it down any further I will cry about THAT so we're gonna try this #and see what happens #plz fullview if the squished version looks like a mess #like it IS a mess I did not fully render everything because I got done with the faces and then like #remembered why I don't do full figure drawings ever #the reason is that I hate finishing things because it is Work and I have SO many ADHD brainweasels #sometimes I draw things #moshang #svsss #servant to a different king #by #tossawary #living a fanfic appreciation lifestyle #shang qinghua #mobei jun

[a2zillustration]

I can't remember if I ever sent this ask, but does croissant enjoy gale's cooking? I know it's talked about in game that he does most of the cooking but I don't recall it ever being said that it was necessarily good. do you think it's more like "boy this guy can really cook!" or "...well its better than nothing!"

I live for these comics and stories btw! its such a delight seeing people really embrace the rp part of rpgs! ❤️

Croissant was never a great cook so Gale's food has been a welcome adjustment, but Gale apparently has an aversion to vegetables, a thing Croissant is used to eating much more often.

Thank you so much!! I'm not used to playing RPG video games and being able to explore Croissant and the cast outside of the game has been so much fun!

[[ All Croissant Adventures (chronological, desktop) ]]

[[ All Croissant Adventures (app) ]]

#me writing this comic: boy howdy I sure hope I remembered everything about Gale's lore correctly ngjkfldnskh #bg3 croissant #croissant lore #asks #gale dekarios #breadweave #gale x tav #AH REMINDER - NO NEW STORY COMICS UNTIL MONDAY but I'm still trying to make sure there's something new for u 2 read

[askchuuyanakahara]

Dazai does Chuuya know how you’re only ever nice to him when he’s asleep/unconscious

@megaroniandcheez

Dazai: "I'm not going to do anything to him."

Dazai: "I don't have a pen to draw on his face."

Dazai: "I doubt Chuuya would want me here in the morning."

Dazai: "I should probably feed her. Chuuya'd probably get annoyed if he finds out he fell asleep instead of waking up to feed her in time."

Dazai: "About this much, right? Ah well, I guess a bit of under or over feeding wouldn't hurt.."

Dazai: "Now then.."

Dazai: "Bye bye, Chuuya."

#ask #update #anonymous #megaroniandcheez #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #bungo stray dogs #skk #soukoku #(This is kinda the end of the Dazai(?) event?) #(Or what I mean is I'm gonna go back to more short form answers for a bit!) #(Of course everything that happened here is still canon to this universe) #(So youre free to ask anything about this too heheh) #(I've also cleared my inbox cause it was getting a bit cluttered!!!) #(So if your ask wasn't answered feel free to try and send it again if you remember)

[canisalbus]

you say machete has to be closeted then why's he always wearing them little heels

Maybe he thinks he's a tiny bit nicer looking in them.

#no in fact he's just a little ahead of the curve let me try to explain #again I'm not a historian I'm just sharing what I've read I might be misremembering stuff so don't quote me on this #high heels became extremely fashionable in the early 1600's probably just a few decades after Machete's time #and they were originally worn by men #because they were inspired by Persian riding boots #if your shoes had heels you'd have easier time keeping your feet in the stirrups (think of cowboy boots) #Europeans saw them thought they looked snazzy and they became wildly popular in noble circles fairly quickly #for some hundred years or so high heels were the epitome of class wealth power and status and they were essentially genderless #remember that concepts of masculinity and femininity are fluid and change over time #things that were seen as manly a few centuries ago may seem downright effeminate to a modern viewer #it's all matter of perspective neither is objectively more correct than the other #they started to separate into men's heels and women's heels around mid 1700's iirc but the changes weren't massive even then #and only truly went out of vogue when the French Revolution hit in 1789 #and people all across the continent were suddenly put off by everything that reminded them #of the frivolousness and extravagance of royalty and aristicracy #so in his canon timeline I don't think people are looking at him and going “hmmm that's pretty gay” #because heels hadn't become gendered yet #maybe he likes how they accentuate his already tiny paws and make his legs look even longer than they are #he's interested in fashion or at least likes to dress nicely in high quality garments #he tries very hard to look his best despite never really feeling comfortable in his skin #he was a real shrimp as a kid and even though he eventually grew up to be a beanpole he might still find the extra height appealing #no one's going to look down on him ever again #I admit the way I draw them is a lot more modern than the true historical style at the time but not outrageously so #artistic freedom and all that in the end I'm not aiming for 100% accuracy #modern au Machete has no excuses though he's just a little bit fruity #if the guy feels empowered by wearing little clip cloppers let him #answered #anonymous #Machete

[b4kuch1n]

yay! I drew these quite literally three years ago. dragonheart!milo and raihan! a knight on a doomed dragon hunt being lifted out of his station by a small village medicine man. together they become magic lawyers and overthrow the government

the main details in these do survive into the iterations I’ve drawn (instead of these actual designs I spent time to make el oh el): the “leaf” diamond quilt/gambeson and the plaited coattail for milo, the “atypical” weapons, long coat, and large number of scattered fake gold trims and accessories for raihan. I think I lost raihan the hat and added a cape for milo further down the line because like this their general silhouettes are too similar for my liking lol

#pokemon #swsh #applinshipping #dragonheart AU #gym leader raihan #gym leader milo #leon is the puppet king in this one (I never made a design for him lol. lmao) (its not about him!!!!) (it is just a tiny bit #sonia actually disappeared out to sea like just the year before raihan got sent off too. and the shows up where raihan and milo are later on #as usual the everything between those three are messy in a way that makes every one of them embarrassed to bring it up lmao #if u remember one of the october pieces I did last year. the applinshipping one. yeap thats from this AU too #lmao. also remembering the swordsman AU. in every AU where I bring up a king you can TELL I cant WAIT to get rid of that guy #(its usually leon) #anyways it's not about him this is about raihan and milo!!! iirc everyone in the village knows milo is Something. bc he has literally not #aged at all for four generations #he's like doing his therapy away from the dragon hierarchy out here and raihan crash lands nearby #laughs this is so hallmark movie romance I just realized. except the city girl is trying to #extract her family from the palace before stealing the declaration of independence #oh yeah the AU is named that Specifically because the 'artifact' the whole plot runs around is supposedly a 'calcified' heart of a dragon #and the magic lawyer part is so raihan will seize the right to the throne by haha. winning a living dragon's heart instead #I'm actually surprised I remember this much abt this AU lmao it's literally been three years! I don't even remember what Im #supposed to do tomorrow #it's gettign a USB stick isnt it. Im doin a canadian horror triple feature with the senpai #I gotta remember that. well I remember This so. maybe there's a chance #man there are actually a number of applinshipping things I wanna draw... theyre my Fuckin BoyS #well! there's this at least. have a good night lads! I'll have cake soon #it's time to put cinnamon in things.

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Man.... I can't stop thinking about Pac and the Risus Pill arc

Pac saying he took the pills because he didn't have any other choice, he was so hopeless he wants to take them until he doesn't remember anything

Pac saying "At least I’m not crying in some random corner in the Island expecting my friends to come save me, and nobody comes save me"

And then the thing he said immediately before that: "I lost my friend, I lost my friend’s friend, I lost my Egg, I lost my child, I lost everything, I'm– I was completely hopeless– so yeah, maybe I wanna be drugged and live my miserable but happy life. At least I’m not in that saddest place anymore."

The blood at Chume Labs

The three graves at Chume Labs

The message he wrote to Cellbit asking Cellbit to kill him if things got too bad, then changing it and saying "lock me up" instead.

The conversation with Fit, Fit pleading with him, and Pac saying "I don’t want to go back to that bad and sad place."

Pac, despite his grief and depression, finding an antidote and saving himself (with the help of his friends)

Literally everything from the Risus Pill arc makes me so heartbroken

#i talk #qsmp talk #the crazy thing is is I still haven't seen the stream where they give Pac the antidote #I was busy that day and rushed home trying to catch the tail-end of the stream #and made the mistake of leaving Twitch open on my phone on the counter as I hopped in the shower #and then mid-shampoo I just heard a SCREAM from my phone and I was like ''UH OH'' #didn't get a noise complaint but it scared the hell out of me #I never did find that clip of him and Cellbit talking after everything went down and he was cured #but I remember the quotes from it #aghhhh #suicide mention #sorta implied #ask to tag #I'm briefly touching upon the Risus arc in my fic but I really want to dig more into the arc #I know it'll just make me sad though #tw drugs #drug mention #addiction

[sysig]

Don’t be silly! Okay, be a little silly (Patreon)

#Doodles #UT #Handplates #Sans #Papyrus #Could also be general Undertale again but y'know lol #Silliness is the only thing on the menu I'm sorry but we're out of everything else it's the one remaining option #Speaking of silliness! I started that first one in an attempt to draw Sans' blind side and then- #I had a 50-50 chance of what direction to have him face and I picked the wrong one brain why lol #Well he was still fun to draw anyhow lol it all works out #Tired Papyrus toting an even tireder Sans around #I imagine Undyne called him to do something and he just brought Sans along since he was already carrying him lol #Sans waking up in random places like ''Ah. Papyrus-teleportation'' lol #Another mini set based on me and smol! Just try and stop me!! #We frequently talk about dreams right after we wake up if we happen to catch each other - and remember lol #And one of her dreams was just so absurd that the harder I imagined it the funnier it got lol #So I gave it to Sans to enjoy lol - him enjoying when Papyrus is intentionally silly with him makes my heart happy <3 #Papyrus plays his straight man so often that when he does come in with something funny it just catches Sans off guard haha #Pleased all the way around! #Also ft. a slight headcanon I have about Sans' lowercasedness lol #About his voice being naturally quiet and all that - that even when he laughs really hard it's still on the quiet side #Tires him out but it's kinda breathy #And if you can believe it I am Still getting used to drawing Sans' face pftbltl #He's so roundy! I feel like he'd be easy to draw and then I do and like #Sometimes yes sometimes no! I'm starting to recognize which features do it but dang I wasn't expecting him to be harder to draw than Papyrus #I feel like Papyrus' design is a little more forgiving - like if you mess up a detail you can still be like ''Okay but that's like 95% him'' #With Sans it's like ''Well I did Something. And now he's Extremely off-model. Could I tell you what I did? Uhm'' Lol #I'll get it figured out! I will!

[ineed-to-sleep]

I'm watching Berserk and I may or may not have hyped myself up to turn my vampire ocs into dark fantasy characters. mmaybe

#sketch tag #so uh. pepper is kind of a guts basically jdjgkckkc #they're both in an army and they butt heads a lot bc pepper is big and stronk but very impulsive and reckless #but there's no griffith situation or anything like that it's just that vince worries abt her #and he's way more restrained as a fighter and a strategist. maybe a commander or second in command #and just like in vtm he's very paranoid and afraid of change. so he worries abt her and is also unhappy in the army but too scared to leave #so he broods a lot and mopes around and gets on her ass abt her recklessness #and just like in vtm pepper is impulsive and has a lot of pent up frustration and she uses the battlefield to release all of it #sometimes overexerting herself and nearly getting herself killed #she also wants to leave bc she's not sure she believes in what they're fighting for anymore. but then she loses her coping mechanism #things change when they have an argument where he reveals he cares abt her sjfjjfkf YES very cliche I am thriving #and she's dismissive at first but after being alone for a bit his words start sinking in #and when they're on a battlefield again there's a moment where they have to retreat and she's about to absolutely not listen to that #but then she has a change of heart bc she remembers what he said + she cares abt him too so she doesn't want him to be hurt by her actions #neither by him getting worried nor trying to come to her aid and putting his life at risk #so she retreats #and he's very happy abt that he thanks her later for what she did #and then she's like yeah sure I guess I didn't die but also guess what. I'm bored #everything she wanted to release back there she just didn't. so she's still frustrated and especially bc she had to admit defeat #and she's an extremely proud person. she's irritated #and he's like aight. I'm gonna fight you then #and she's like what. and he's like yeah #so he picks up a sword and throws another one to her and there's a *sexual tension play-fight* hell yeah babey #I'm having sm fun w this au can you tell jejfjckckkc #eventually they do desert the army they're in bc things get worse and pepper decides she no longer wants to be a part of it #and in a fight or flight moment she pushes vincent to make a decision and he leaves with her #and like the story is only getting started there bc then there'll be some big misteries in the story they're gonna uncover #which. I haven't figured out what they are yet #but either way akhhdskfha I'm having a lot of fun w this #sleep.txt

[lunarharp]

into the deep end - 30k T orufrey fic, focusing on memory trauma, disability, and romance.

the sweet oblivion of the victim, the poisoned freedom of the other.

for one moment - it had felt like two parts returned - the needed reunion of two disparate halves. no more secrets, no more pain.

the moment you get to give back what you never wanted to take. that moment, under the night-blooming flowers, when they had both let out the same single broken sigh of relief.

but they were never whole to begin with, were they?

qifrey swore he wouldn't say 'sorry' to this man any more if he could help it - sorry is cheap now. he didn't want to be in a position ever again where you only have 'sorry' left. so he just looks down into the threads of his blanket, strains his eye until it hurts, feeling his insides - his throat, heart and head - burn with pain. he expects more, but olly says nothing.

olly says nothing.

#witch hat tag #orufrey #sorry i wanted to make a new post for my fic since the first illustration is new. #*stands in the middle of a desolate field in the pouring rain* Please Read My Tale...Blease..Oh god please..*collapses to the ground* #someone asked if there's spoilers in it. Um...yes. Sorry...it's about everything #maybe i should describe it more? it's about qifrey becoming more and more disabled - as i feel is his canon trajectory #and both of them processing the choices that have been made. it was necessary for me to explore this in order to fully understand orufrey #and for them to have the cathartic conclusion-that's why this is important to me for my witch hat fanwork making life. this connects it all #and having dived into qifrey's mind and lived through oru's feelings i was able to get to a place that is possible for them. #the hit/kudos ratio is so pathetic idek what happened. ppl opening it realising its long and saving it for later or just bailing lmfao #idek any more i hate advertising my writing i hate trying to get more ppl to read my long fics it's so hard 🥲 #i'm so much prouder of this than my art...i was able to sink deeply into the orufrey feelings i had always wanted to fully explore #so. it's there lol.........i reread the date/kiss segment today after trying to forget about it thinking maybe the fic is just BAD lol #and like.....nope! i like it very much and this is what i was trying to get across. and it's always there to be read by anyone who wants to #and i will always remember the bliss i felt while writing when i was just lost in their world and living as them. dear GOD i love them. #i'm grateful to myself that i put in the work and love to make this so that i can always come back to it. i wanna illustrate scenes properly #but i'm never satisfied with drawing things i've written because i just can't capture the vivid experience in my mind. maybe one day.

[rkn001]

this one-hundred paged fixation has had an iron grip on my smooth brain for the past half-year

(on another note, here's a list of ways of how to express "shooting yourself in the foot" in various programming languages, although some are, arguably, not actual programming languages, and some are just references to certain operating systems)

#mega man #megaman #rockman #enker #pilot man #mega man oc #shipping #the rather seemingly-unnecessary remark about that list is just me expressing to myself that i am shooting myself in the foot and #i'll just have to accept that the bullet will be lodged in my foot two weeks later and that its a part of me. #also as a way to detract your attention from the gayness. or maybe provide more attention to it. dont think too hard about this #i'm going to try to learn how to let go of things that bother me but really shouldn't so. anyway #if any of this confuses you just remember this is my blog. not my obligation to reveal everything to you nor attune myself to ur desires. 😇

[starfall-isle]

I’m just a ten cent copy

Of people far more advanced than me

#Stej #spark the electric jester #spark the electric jester spoilers #float #Clarity #flint #spark #art tag #Float is so so much 2 think about. Even before she died there was still this acknowledgement of like. #She does not know who she was before she just knows she was discarded and literally buried alive and everything just gets worse for her :( #character who deserves some kind of resolution the most I think/ #I can’t fully wrap my mind around how Clarity’s replica works (ignoring what was said about her and Astra #solely being extensions of clarity bc I think that kind of sucks and doesn't fully make sense 2 me anyway) #like she is not the original ofc and float was already dead before assimilation but she is still clearly enough of a copy #that she has her feelings and (assumedly) resembles her formie body from before she was experimented on #Something even she didn’t remember‚ & I'm just curious how exactly clarity made her so faithfully 2 float and how much she has that #same kind of cognition and emotional independence that Astra did‚ even if she is only trying to achieve clarity’s goals. #I know WHY float was used 2 trick spark into reaching the Fark force the point was that shes just. Still so real and it’s so sad #The original float is gone but she is still here and she still remembers her life and feelings it’s soo fucked up #The only autonomy she has ever had over herself was when she and flint met each other. She just has been used so much even after death!! #I don’t want to make assumptions about something that isn’t out but like. If floats just gone now after doing so much to reintroduce her as #an agent of clarity I think it would be such a disservice 2 her Character like how interesting could it be to have float but she is not the #same as float she has this girls face and memories but she has been so fractured and manipulated that like. Who could she be now #that clarity isn't in control and she no longer has a purpose. if she ever got to reunite with flint would he be willing to trust her? #Would she want to reconnect with these emotions and memories that she knows she’s been programmed from? How would it feel to know #that everyone else has this idea of you and a history that for you technically isn’t real but it still FEELS real. AUGH #Anyway. segmented like a bug get it #ask to tag #Taphophobia #Blood

[screwpinecaprice]

I really don't have time to be bummed out right now so I made them a little sad instead.

#Sad posting I guess? Ah teh dichotomy of feeling tired while also thinking sleeping is a waste of time. Just so much to do! 😤 #connverse #steven quartz universe #connie maheswaran #my shiz #steven universe #su #skedoobles #Messy sketchbook #Also I lost my XpPen nibs. And it's just so out of character of me to not put them where they always were? #It took me this long to realize my screen is scratched up because my current had already worn out. And I can't find the replacement nibs! 😭 #I always put my extra nibs in the box where I put my laptop is on top of. But they're not there??? But why would I move them? I #seriously could not remember! #Also just in case I mixed them with my older tab's nibs so I checked it..... Those nibs are missing too! Like. Why on Earth????? Why #would I separate the nibs from the rest of that tab! Everything was tucked away inside that box but the nibs aren't???? #I am so confused. I'm the only one who could've moved them. But WHY would I do that???? So uncool past me. So uncool. >:( #Anyway. #I barely am finished a single submission for connverse week. 😅 I'll try finishing at least that one today #chibi

[lizstiel]

Dean’s sitting at the kitchen table eating meatloaf when it all sort of hits – and he’s desperate to remember it exactly how it happened.

With his fork raised halfway to his mouth, a dollop of meat and sauce perched precariously on the tines, his eyes wandered over to where Cas stood by the sink in a pair of ratty pajama bottoms and one of Dean’s old t-shirts. (One of Dean’s old t-shirts, because once Cas gets his shoulders into them they never really sit the same way.)

He’s got soap up to his elbows, scrubbing methodically at the dishes Dean just dirtied, his brow a taught, concentrated line. He’s bringing the same kind of meticulous focus to the dishes that he used to bring to leading the armies of Heaven; that singular kind of attention, both unnerving and admirable. (Dean had once tried to explain that he didn’t need to wash them quite so vigorously, to which Cas had deadpanned, “Do you know how many food particles remain on the dishes you wash, Dean?” It quickly became his job, after that.)

It’s early July. About 6:30pm. The window over the sink is cracked, and the front door is wide open, letting the sound of cicadas and crickets drift in with the summer breeze. The sun’s starting to set behind the field, casting the world in that particular orange glow that has always made something in Dean ache. In the other room, the record player Sam got them for Christmas plays a beat up Janis Joplin record he’d found at a secondhand store in town. The opening chords of Me and Bobby McGee have just started, and the cicadas are humming, and the crickets are singing, and the sun is setting, and Cas is standing in old pajamas washing dishes Dean just used to make them dinner and –

Cas tilts his head.

This isn’t revolutionary. He does it a lot. A very ingrained behavior, some might say. But he isn’t confused, he’s reacting. To the song. He doesn’t react to music the way Dean wants him to, never has, but in his own way, it’s almost like he’s leaning closer to hear it. An infinitesimal thing. The smallest gesture. The corner of his mouth twitches, and Dean has never loved him more than he does at this moment: backlit by a summer sunset in their house in the middle of nowhere, hand washing dishes and listening to Janis Joplin.

Cas turns when the sound of Dean’s fork clattering on the plate sounds, but Dean just scoops him into his arms, chases any worries away with a kiss, and then another, and then one more for good measure. Cas laughs against his mouth, desperately trying to keep his soapy arms away from Dean’s dry clothes. “Dean,” he chides, squirming and chuckling, trying to extract himself from Dean’s grip. “I’m not finished.”

“I’ll get ‘em tomorrow,” Dean promises, peppering sweet little kisses down the line of Cas' throat. He hasn’t shaved in a couple of days. It tickles all the way down. “Love you so much,” he says, because he wants to. Because he’s so full with it he’s overflowing. Because if he doesn’t tell him right now, in this moment, and every moment after this one, he might die. He needs him to know. It’s vital that he knows.

Cas’ laughter warms, and he slides one soapy hand to the back of Dean’s neck, eyebrows raised in challenge when he shudders at the sensation. When Dean doesn’t immediately shoo him away, he slides the other soapy hand up Dean’s arm. “Dean?” He’s not worried, the timber of his voice is honey-smooth and light, but he’s confused. Not that Dean doesn’t tell him often, and loudly, how much he loves him, but to be fair this did kind of come from nowhere, so he understands. It’s just much too much. It’s not enough and it’s everything. It’s everything in the world Dean has ever wanted.

Janis Joplin is singing freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose, and Dean’s arms are loose around Cas’ waist, and he loves him, god he loves him so much, so he kisses him on one corner of the mouth, and then the other. Janis says, nothin’, don’t mean nothin’ hon’ if it ain’t free, no, no – and he rocks their bodies together, slow, to the beat of the music. Cas’ arms come to wind around his neck automatically, and his smile starts to sprawl into something reserved for only the really good moments. Wide and gummy and for Dean – and feelin’ good was easy, Lord, when he sang the blues. He presses his forehead to Cas’ and they just sort of sway there like that, smiling at each other like this might be the last chance they ever get.

Cas says – “I love you, Dean,” just as Janis is singing, you know feelin’ good was good enough for me – and it occurs to Dean that he’s dancing in the kitchen with the love of his life. He thinks back to the longest, loneliest nights he spent staring up at the night sky, believing wholly he’d die bloody and alone on the backend of some random hunt, and how the smallest (but loudest) part of him had wished for exactly this. For someone to hold him and see him and dance in the kitchen with him, barefoot and covered in soap.

He kisses the tip of Cas’ nose, the lines under his eyes. Doesn’t realize he’s crying until Cas is wiping tears away with the pads of his thumbs and soothing hands through his hair. He’s crying, too. Laughing and crying and telling Dean he loves him, he loves him so much, he’s loved him from the first moment he saw him.

It settles in Dean then – really settles deep, and true, and good – that he was meant for this. He wasn’t born to be a weapon. Wasn’t born to be a son, or a father, or a brother. Wasn’t born to save the world or to end it – was just meant to dance. His arms were meant to hold. To sway them both around the cheap linoleum floor, to sling low around Cas’ waist and spin them both ‘til they were dizzy with it.

They laugh and kiss and Janis is saying – good enough for me and Bobby McGee – and Dean is thinking – Yeah. Yeah, it really is.

#i'm sorry god. #mine #my fic #this literally. listen. #this came to me like a premonition #i was playing stardew valley and then it was like #if I don't write this incredibly self indulgent sappy shit I will EXPLODE #trying to get better about listening to that voice instead of ignoring it #bc i'm not like. great at writing but it makes me feel good. or it used to #and i wanna get back to that #anyway. #love how every few months dean and cas come into my life like ;)))) hey. #remember when everything you made was about us #and i'm like. god you're so right #destiel #deancas #spn #gonna try not to re-read this a thousand times until I hate it too so if it's like #trash that's why lmao #why am i so afraid anyway #ANYWAY

[momentomori24]

I was going skimming through VLR again to screenshot some scenes I wanted to talk about, but while I was doing that I suddenly remembered how bullshit the 9BP game overs were. Y'know, the endings where Sigma has enough points to leave but immediately gets jumped by everybody and prevented to leave? Yeah, those ones. I'm not surprised that they pounced on Sigma, he did betray their trust for his own gain so that feeling of betrayal leading to that reaction is all fine and understandable except why the hell don't other characters get this same treatment?? I swear, everyone else excluding Luna has screwed the group over at some point some where some timeline, but they all get off scott free. Especially Dio, and personally that is just an actual affront to justice and my sanity, I freaking swear. When Sigma, the nicest (albeit most perverted) guy in the cast attempts to escape, all love for the man is lost and he gets stomped on, his arm chopped off and abandoned and left to die in a heartbeat, just no hesitation, but when goddamn betray-happy cultish asshatish douchebag Dio screws everyone and attempts to escape, all of a sudden the characters forget that-- oh I don't know-- tackling that twink is a totally valid option but instead they just go "alas, there is no point anymore he's already won" so this man just gets to walk out that door all proud of himself like what the fuck?? How is that fair in any way??? What the hell are they all smoking to be fine with that????

#zero escape #zero escape virtue's last reward #momento rambles #anyway i'm going through a cold and i'm thinking of dio so naturally i'm kinda irritated right now #like can someone please explain the logic to me here #it boggles my tiny mind how they just let this man just get away with everything it while we get dunked on the second we try #like idk maybe i'm just biased but i'd prefer sigma getting out alive more than that guy any day #you'd think the characters felt the same way but nah apparently. jesus #anyway just something that i remembered infuriating me in the game and is infuriating me now