#if you need to hear this today

[morallyinept]

You're still you, even in your darkness. 🖤

#still you #if you need to hear this today #jett has spoken

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[egophiliac]

But … how the staff swear? We Need to know that too…(of you want of course … love your art and your Amazing humor!!!)

(thank you! :D)

Trein: said 'damn' once when he was sixteen, still lays awake at night in embarrassment about his deplorable lapse in manners.

Vargas: swears like an old-timey carnival strongman. lots of "poppycock" and "what the devil" and an occasional "deuces!" (this makes classes very confusing for poor Deuce)

Crowley: doesn't intentionally swear, but every once in a while he'll, like...put together a presentation on the new staff policies or something that builds up to an acronym which, by complete coincidence, spells out something shockingly depraved.

it happens often enough that you'd think he's doing it on purpose, except. it's Crowley.

Sam: swears in the text, gets away with it because the character reading is always something else

(this is very specific to the Japanese version and probably too meta but I made myself laugh with it, I...I'm sorry)

#art #twisted wonderland #yeah here's some more characters swearing #i promise i will get back to actual Jokes™ at some point #(sorry for spamming a bit! just catching up on things) #anyway thanks for joining me for today's edition of crewel being slapped in the face with a sudden and unwelcome sense of sonder #trein: mister crewel need i remind you that i also have access to the internet #crewel: la la la i can't hear you #trein: i am aware of the existence of websites other than those that exclusively provide cat videos #crewel: lA LA LA --

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Transcript:

Machine... Can I try... R-rizzing you up?

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEEAASSE

*inhale*

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ᴾᴸᴱᴬˢᴱ ᴾᴸᴱᴬˢᴱ PLEAEAEAEAEASE

End transcription

Audio Source

This was requested by @blazeball THANK YOU 🫡

Also this bit at the end is foreshadowing for tomorrows post ;)

Transcript:

*gasp* HE'S PULLING HIS COCK OUT.

#gabriel ultrakill #ultrakill #sorry for the next tags #i need him this desperate. every. day. #on his knees and everything #its the only thing that would fix me #sorry. #I normally post in the afternoon but. im .going insane today I need you guys to hear this #I’ll prob reblog later at the more usual time

[irlromanroy]

You are not unlovable for being in a system. You are not unloveable for being in a system. You are not unlovable for being in a system.

#did #dissociative identity disorder #did system #plural #osdd #actually plural #actually dissociative #ik this is kinda corny? #but they r what I need to hear today so I am posting for you guys I hope someone sees this and feels idk #anything good? #be safe out there guys

[royalarchivist]

Pac: Do you know that Bagi and Empanada, they created a mafia?

Tina: WHAT?

[Several minutes later]

Tina: You could've lied, Pac. You could've lied. Do you think I'm stupid? Do you think I'm gonna let you get away with this?

Tina went through an entire character arc during her conversation with Pac about the Pancake Mafia today!

#Tina Kitten #Pactw #QSMP #Tina #Pac #Edited #March 14 2024 #WHEEZES THIS TOOK WAY LONGER THAN IT SHOULD'VE #their conversation was very long though #It was ~7 minutes long but they continued talking for a long time #I need to catch the rest of the VOD later #no subtitles today because good lord this took way longer than anticipated and I have gotten NOTHING done today #aghhhh #I did a lot of audio adjustments for this video because you could BARELY hear Pac in the actual stream

[ghostespresso]

staff logging on to tumblr dot com today

#staff sweetie i Promise you an algorithm would kill this webbed site #changing the way reblogs look/work would Absolutely kill this webbed site too #this is a Blogging Platform i dont want it to be like tiktok or twitter jesus #if you NEED to change something literally listen to the the Tumblr Users you pretend you cant hear #if money is what you need make your userbase Happy and you should be fine #the shop is fine blaze posts are fine ad free subscriptions are fine but dont get rid of shit that Works For You in favor of making money #someone really laced up their clown boots today im. so tired staff please dont #tumblr staff #EDIT: staff updated their original post to say we were all misunderstanding but #that doesnt stop the post from being stupid #the whole post was worded for Investors and then presented to the userbase #if you say 'we have big changes planned!' and dont put in the 'as options' its Your Fault that people read it as 'were changing everything' #staff isnt stupid. they know how they Should have worded it better than what they did #so yeah. someone Did lace up their clown boots before they hit post #edit pt 2 lol for the record i dont think tumblr would actually go through with all their changes in that post #they know how the userbase is and there are A Lot of us #i just dont like how? idk. condescending? the post sounded #and out of every place on the internet being being burned alive in the name of money #tumblr is the one place i know enough about to be Actually mad at lol #ive really liked some stuff staff has done in recent years #but talking to your userbase that way wasnt one

[tatakaeeren]

*Mind empty* I can only think of this 💖

#gojo satoru #satoru gojo #jjk #jjk spoilers #jjk 2 #jujutsu kaisen #toriigifs #Im serious!! ...not even the entire scene or the other faces he makes #THISSSSS thisss is what I've been thinking all day :') #I WANT TO BE THAT BALL SO BADLYYYY 😭😭😭😭😭 #look at his squishy cheeks!! ajhgddga #I bettt I BETT that's the face he makes when you tell him ... sorry Satoru no more candy for you XD or sorry not today I'm busy akjdhad #god I need headcanons or fanfics based on this gif #If someone hears my prayer... please let me know or tag me #I NEED ITTTT #usergojoana #userartless #userdabiluna #useraki #userokkottsus #userhyu #userlisette #jjk headcanons #jjk x reader #jjkedit

[sleepychaika]

hobbies include: sketching phos (particularly not having a great time). yeah this is just a sketch dump pretty much!.

the last 3 were done while listening to the most phos-core song ive ever heard: Low – More (discovered thanks to @punpuncake) (no seriously, google the lyrics. mind-blowingly accurate. angst.mp3.)

aaand a bonus sketch from an aggie.io session with friends – blindingly white next to the previous pics, so im putting it under the cut:

#phos #phos hnk #phosphophyllite #houseki no kuni #land of the lustrous #.txt #hnk #i honestly really am just. #a big fan of how it (phos). crumbles under all the pressure. literally. self-destructs is how i read it being described today #like it cant handle all of this #so it crumbles and melts away sometimes with a big pow in an explosion and sometimes kind of quietly #just letting its hands lose their form letting the alloy drip through the cracks #it scratches my brain like nothing else #for some reason #maybe it's how it isn't being addressed in the manga directly.... nobody says a thing about it it doesn't get acknowledged verbally iirc #but it very much happens regularly and no explanation is even needed yoy just understand #;_; #i want to hold phos #oh lmao *you #yoy is such a funny typo i instantly hear my inner reading voice's speech being reversed like in a ytp

[noyzinerd]

Stiles: Um, sure. Let's see...hmmm...Oh! If you see a drowsy looking bee on the ground, you can give it a little drop of sugar water to help make it feel better.

Derek, in the middle of cleaning out a bullet wound:

Stiles:

Stiles: I'm now starting to realize that you were probably asking me for a "Q-Tip" rather than a "cute tip".

#sterek #teen wolf #derek hale #stiles stilinski #tyler hoechlin #dylan o'brien #mieczysław stiles stilinski #incorrect teen wolf quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect teen wolf #Stiles: Sorry. That's my bad. #Derek: No no. I didn't realize how much I needed to hear that today. That was delightful. Thank you. #Derek: But yes. I would also very much appreciate a Q-tip if you wouldn't mind. That would be very helpful right now. #Speaking of cute tips: you can buy stickers of your kids' favorite characters and stick them to veggies at the store #Your kids will be more willing to eat them if they think you're buying “Avengers Brand” zucchini or “Paw Patrol Brand” carrots #Also if your cat likes to sit on your laptop while you work hook up a wireless keyboard and quietly type to the side as you pet your cat

[sherbetyy]

do you ever realize after masking intentionally and unintentionally so much in your life, you completely forget who you are.. and how it feels like every time you mimic someone you lose a part of yourself and personality. and fear you’ll never figure out who you are or who you were once.

yeah.

anyway pictures of moth !!!

#YEAHHH #came out to my neurotypical friend as autistic today and she was like “but you don’t act like one” #SIGHHHHHH #the quote i hear a million times #i’m just decent at masking i think #copying other people’s behaviors can be easy SOMETIMES #but i think i really need to learn to just be myself i know it’s a overused lesson but god it’s so hard for me now.. #ANYWAY ROSY MAPLE MOTH N MORE… #my babies forever i love you i wish i could give you forehead kisses but too little :( #ily ily ily #moths #neurodivergent #autism #adhd #tw bugs

[shima-draws]

Me: BRO. Can you imagine if Luffy activated Gear 5 2 years earlier at Marineford

AO3: Hey boo I gotchu

Me: AY-YO????

#One Piece #SO GLAD I'm not the only one who got this idea holy shit #Apparently Gear 5 Marineford is a Thing that is actually relatively popular #LOVE that for him tbh. And Ace. Bc he saves Ace with it lmao #Extra angst with Luffy actually dying first before his devil fruit slaps him back to life is also quite brilliant #Luffy's devil fruit squeezing his heart like a squeaky toy: NOT TODAY BITCH #His entire crew suddenly gets a sixth sense and they KNOW #They KNOW something is wrong and that Luffy. Something happened to their captain #But before they can mourn for too long they hear it. The DRUMS BABYYYYYYY #Normally they'd all be too far to hear them but they can :) And everyone around them is like. Uhh #The Strawhats: I can hear them. The drums #Everyone else: ??? What are you talking about are you losing it. You're probably losing it #I need to hold myself back from reading all these fics bc I actually. Gotta finish Marineford first LOL #Don't wanna spoil myself TOO much #Shima speaks

[tiredela]

ON THIS SITE WE LOVE EMBER FROM ESO 🫶🫶🫶

#tes #tesblr #eso #elder scrolls #the elder scrolls #elder scrolls online #ember #eso ember #ember eso #what even is her tag lol #tiredeltalks #i'm posting this in case anyone else also needs to hear this right now 🫶🫶 it's okay to be afraid it's okay to be vulnerable #you are stilly worthy you are still loved #i didn't think a character from a video game would make me cry today but here we are

[onlyswan]

incase someone haven’t told you this lately <3 i’m proud of you for getting out of bed today even if you had to drag your body off it. i’m proud of you for speaking even if you had to clear your throat before doing it. i’m proud of you for making it home safely. i’m proud of you for lying on your bed and allowing yourself to rest before you have to do the things you’re scared of tomorrow. i’m proud of you for existing and for trying to live. 🫂

#been thinking a lot about #there are so many little things that take so much of us to accomplish #but u don’t need to do something life-changing or mindblowing to hear the words ‘i’m proud of you’ #living day-by-day and celebrating those little accomplishments #is changing your life and creating a more positive environment for ur 🧠 #it might feel a lil silly at the start to say these words to urself everyday so let me be the first to do it for u 🫂 #hehe that’s all for today’s word vomit :D #brb i need to study #art rambles

[cilil]

To all artists out there:

Never forget that your "just a sketch" or "didn't like how it turned out" or "kinda ugly tbh" is already a masterpiece in the eyes of others and we just sit there, looking at our screens and going "wow this is amazing"

#just in case anyone needed to hear this today #people love you and admire you #even if you don't think so or don't know it #artists on tumblr #art positivity #artist positivity #artblr

[half-lightl]

POSTERS INSPIRED BY MY MOST PLAYED SONGS FROM FITF BY LOUIS TOMLINSON (ACCORDING TO LASTFM) (pt. 1) ALL THIS TIME LUCKY AGAIN SATURDAYS

#dailytomlinson #louistomlinsoncouk #theonedeepalsedit #louis tomlinson #hlcreators #misediciones #fitf #lt2 #I know what the next two are gonna be but i'm still not sure about the sixth one mmm #anyway i started making these in early december but i just muster up the energy to finish them today. i'm always just so tired tired tireddd #can you all believe saturdays exists???? that song is my main baby at the moment #spotify made me do the 2024 future playlist thingy i added saturdays as my choice for ''song i need to hear live this year'' #let's pray it happens!!!! #fitfposters #credits for the ticket vector: https://www.rawpixel.com/image/2849758/free-illustration-png-movie-frame-cartoon-cuteeyJrZXlzIjoidGlja2V0Iiwi #gfxorcollages*