probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
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Answers to "it hurts"
I know (apologetically)
I know (condescendingly)
It's supposed to
Good
I'm sorry
It'll be over soon
Stop whining
And it'll get worse if you don't *insert threat*
Well it wouldn't have to if you didn't *insert mistake*
You're supposed to say 'thank you'
I love hearing you say that
This is nothing, I'll show you actual pain
Get used to it
You'll get used to it
Stop lying
At least you still feel it
Shut up
Why don't you beg me to stop, then?
Can't be that bad if you're still talking
I don't care
Did I ask?
It's the only way you'll learn
You can take it
Answers to "please stop"
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Get me pregnant? Sorry. Knock me up? Sorry. Breed me? Sorry. Inseminate me? Sorry. Make me a mommy? Sorry-
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My sister, who does not have a tumblr account and instead leeches off of mine, drew something on my iPad and wanted to share with the other good omens fans
She said if this hits a certain amount of notes they’ll make a tumblr account
Edit: it hit the certain amount, she’s @cultconstel
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Must scifi be "good"? Is it not enough to watch David Tennant and Catherine Tate run about, yelling? and also a nonbinary transwoman is there?
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a long time ago I was like "I bet there are a lot of characters that are both touch-starved and touch-averse" so. Thinks
Impostor explanation: has been around the whole scale as various identities, has a hard time understanding themselves and their own true preference. Tends to just adjust to whoever they're around.
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