#in the real ''thing''

[tadfools]

#leme snag one of my favorite things I made for da2 and recycle it real quick #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 #baldur’s gate iii #bg3 memes #astarion #karlach #shadowheart #lae’zel #wyll ravengard #gale dekarios #wyll bg3 #gale bg3 #astarion ancunin #karlach cliffgate #gale of waterdeep

[artkaninchenbau]

A h-heartfelt reunion..?

Bonus

#Sir Crocodile #Monkey D Dragon #Emporio Ivankov #Dragodile #Crocodad #My art #One Piece #We're not gonna talk about the work I should be doing rn I have Severe Procrastinitis and I'm doing my best okay #Alternative version where it was both Crocodile and Garp beating Dragon's ass before Iva-chan joined in but that was too much effort lmao #I'm a believer in Dragon being a Wind Logia so don't worry guys he is 100% taking this beating intentionally #He knows what he did and he's dealing with the concequences of his actions. With grace. #You know I realize Iva-chan should be two whole meters taller than Crocodile but we're just gonna ignore that #Look Iva-chan taking Crocodile's side and being like ''Crocoboy is right you fucked up bad Dragon'' brings me joy #And for real I've been wanting to draw this for months. But never did because I had other shit to do. Which I still do #But. You know. Sometimes you need to draw a shitpost. It's ✨ self-care ✨ #And appearently One Piece shitpost comics have become the thing I draw for myself on occassion

[willgrahamscock]

I love Nina so much, she’s like oh are you banging the librarian, cause you’re a whore and a slut? and Crowley just stood there like, man that was an option?

#alex says things #hgfh he had to think real hard about it #good omens #anthony j crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #aziracrow

[whump-it-like-its-hot]

So earlier in art class today, someone drew a characters hands in their pockets and mentioned that hands are really like the ultimate end boss of art, and most of us wholeheartedly agreed. So then, our teacher went ahead and free handed like a handful of hands on the board, earning a woah from a couple of students. So the one from earlier mentioned how it barely took the teacher ten seconds to do what I can’t do in three hours. And you know what he responded?

“It didn’t take me ten seconds, it took me forty years.”

And you know, that stuck with me somehow. Because yeah. Drawing a hand didn’t take him fourth years. But learning and practicing to draw a hand in ten seconds did. And I think there’s something to learn there but it’s so warm and my brain is fried so I can’t formulate the actual morale of the lesson.

#not whump #more real life ramblings let’s gooooo #EDIT genuinely why is THIS the post that took off #I have muted notifications for this thing mate I didn’t even double check my spelling #and you fuckers ran with it #good for you but also why

[drusies]

couldnt stop fucking thinking about this all day at work

#tes #GOD I SWEAR I CAN DRAW. REAL THINGS. FOR REAL AND NOT JOKES #NOT THIS TIME THOUGH

[azuremist]

SO THE STORY LEAD OF LUCA AND THE DIRECTOR OF CIAO ALBERTO POSTED THESE

#CHAT IS THIS REAL?? CHAT (it is. to be clear) #luberto #luca 2021 #luca #pixar luca #lgbt #lgbtqia #alberto scorfano #luca paguro #pixar #azure does a thing

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)

which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.

luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.

why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.

vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.

then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.

which then require months of further specialized treatment.

the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage

vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.

the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!

it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!

which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s

Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.

today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar

if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)

#Vanilla Extract #i open the tumblr app and immediately my nostrils are invaded by the overwhelming stench of vanilla #also if you want real vanilla extract at a discount: check out stores like HomeGoods TJMaxx Marshalls etc #the foodstuffs section tends to have fancy nonperishables for much cheaper than upscale grocery stores #you can get things like saffron truffles fancy oils at surprising prices #still expensive but like. 50% cheaper #or just shoplift if that's your thing i won't tell you how to live your life #did i just spend an hour writing this? yes. why did i do that? i don't KNOW

[redbuddi]

Things that don't exist in Scooby-Doo:

Ghosts

Things that exist in Scooby-Doo:

Jetpacks

Aliens

Instant Hypnosis

Machines that put you in the computer

Realistic hologram technology

Were-Cats

Meteors made of Gold

Self-Aware AI

Underground Egypt Cult

Cthulhu

Soul-Sucking Triangles

Transylvania, PA

Moon Resort

Magical Space Guardians

Transgender Potion

Courage the Cowardly Dog

Warlocks

Ghosts

#scooby doo #theres no such thing as ghosts #scooby doo taught me the real monsters were jetpacks aliens realistic hologram techn

[fruit-teeth]

Me: maybe I’m not cut out to be a writer…idk what if I’m not good enough

BookTok romance writers: ‘what if you were just a normal school teacher…but the MINOTAUR wanted to get you PREGNANT’

#i know I’ve made posts like this before but like #it amazes me #I’ve never used tiktok but I find this shit hilarious #just me things #text post #writing #booktok cringe #shitpost #this isn’t a real book btw I made this up

[kilometresrufflefuck]

just realised the most important one didn't attach to the last post

#miles edgeworth #rookposting #ace attorney #so the thing is. real life law is nothing like ace attorney obviously. #however. more jarring than that #is that sometimes #real life law is troublingly similar to ace attorney #twitter

[happyheidi]

𝖦𝗅𝖾𝗇 𝖢𝗈𝖾, 𝖡𝗅𝖺𝖼𝗄 𝖱𝗈𝖼𝗄 𝖢𝗈𝗍𝗍𝖺𝗀𝖾, 𝖲𝖼𝗈𝗍𝗅𝖺𝗇𝖽

𝖡𝗒 𝖦𝖺𝗋𝗒 𝖧𝗈𝗈𝗄

#it’s so beautiful!! <3 #it’s snowing so much in Norway today it’s INSAAAANE #gonna try to take some pics but it’s a real snow storm so idk if I’ll get anything #first thing I did today was shovel and shovel and shovel it away so I could walk moffe #cottagecore #nature #naturecore #winter #winter aesthetic #cottage aesthetic #wintercore #photography

[dizzybizz]

he's wasting perfectly good coffee 🙄

#miles stopppp be careful your fit is gonna be ruined man #ace attorney #miles edgeworth #my art #happy 2024 i just miswrote that as 2020 and then 2023 i .. yeah thats... the vibe isnt it.. #when gumshoe spills all of the embarrassing things edgey does... thank you.. youre a real one

[hobgobknowsbest]

#goblincore #goblin culture #goblin vibes #goblin community #local cryptid #dungeons and dragons #Real life magic #Be the light you want to see in the world #goblin mode #goblin things #goblin posting #goblin king #unintelligible goblin noises

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it'' #while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good'' #to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.) #edit to answer why we had so much vanilla: #my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house. #it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out'' #even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter. #my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out) #listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it. #3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

[koneko-chan]

𝕴 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚 (sound of salt falling weakly to the table) hyah hyah hyah

#this is the funniest thing in the world to me #the sound of the salt is so pathetic is cracks me up. how did gibi become reigen for real #mp100 #reigen arataka #video #asmr #gibi asmr #asmr gibi

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

Reading fetish erotica with absolutely pristine and morally upright consent and neat and tidy safer sex practices is like watching a Fast and Furious movie where they stop at every stop sign and signal for every lane change and always obey the speed limit.

#I do those things in real life #I want to read a story about some fucked up shit going down #Thx mate #post o' mine #writing