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#incorrect brooklyn nine nine quotes

Nat: talk to him. That’s what friends do.

Clint: nope. I’m gonna wait till I’m on my deathbed, get in the last word, and then die immediately.

Nat: that’s your plan for dealing with this?

Clint: that’s my plan for dealing with everything. I have 77 arguments I’m gonna win that way.

Nat: seems like a bad plan.

Clint: now I have 78

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Brooklyn nine-nine as stuff me and my friends said

Jake :is she cute? How bout her? Wait is SHE cute ?

Rosa : dude I’m bi I don’t think everyone’s hot

Jake : *shows pic* she’s hot tho

Rosa :shit u right

————————————–

Scully: *sings a single line*

Gina: oh my god stop my ears are bleeding

————————————-

Jake : what’s the weirdest food combination you ever ate

Boyle: grape and strawberry juice together

Jake : a drink but okay

Amy : crisps and humus

Jake : thats not wierd enough

Scully : fish fingers and vanilla pudding

Everyone:what the hell??

——————————–

Jake behind the camera:

Scully is eating the ice cream cone off of Hitchcock’s face

Amy is hanging her grade on the board for some reason

Amy: it’s and A+

Jake :

Okay

And over here Rosa is ….What is that

Rosa: a cult thing

Jake : Rosa just joined a cult

And Gina is taking the 100th picture of herself

———————————–

Jake :you know its strange

Captain Holt: what is ?

Jake : you sit so normally but you’re a very big gay how is that

———————————-

Jake and Boyle *eat an entire pizza together*

Boyle:that was great

Jake : yea it was

Boyle :

Jake:

Jake : okay let’s go

~later~

Boyle : Maybe eating a big pizza wasn’t the best thing to do before dance practice

Jake: I agree I can feel the pizza making it’s way back into my mouth

—————————-

Rosa :did the captin just say “angel of depression” cuz same

—————————-

Terry : dude I’m a great dad

Rosa: you don’t have kids

Jake : can I be you’re kid?

——————————–

Jake: I should invite all of you over to watch ‘die hard ’ with me

_______________

@fancycomedypositivitypeanut here:)

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Jake and Holt on a case


Jake: *sees suspicious plant*

Jake: “oh wow this looks like stinging nettle but i’m not 100% sure… is this stinging nettle?”

Jake: *shoves entire hand onto said suspicious plant and grabs a large fistful of leaves*

Jake: *visibly disappointed* “awwwwh it’s not stinging nettle. I was wrong. Looks like i suck at identifying plants.”

Holt, having watched the entire scene unfold with intense horror: “hOW have your kept yourself aLIVE for thiS loNG?!?!”

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Amy: I currently have seven empty sketchbooks and no clue what to put in them. Any suggestions?
Charles: Put spaghetti in it.
Amy: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone except for you.
Jake: Put spaghetti in it.
Amy: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone except for you two.
Gina: Put spaghetti in it.
Amy: I am no longer taking suggestions.
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Jake: If we are walking please take into consideration my tiny legs. I can’t keep up with you. Please think of my tiny legs, I don’t want to be jogging to keep up with your leisurely stroll, you Titan!

Terry: Just get a pair of roller skates and hang onto my sleeve, we don’t have all day.

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At their wedding

Hermione: but I do have some bad news. There is a bomb at this wedding as well.

Fred: what?!

Hermione: Your butt. Your butt is the bomb. There will be no survivors

Fred: [crying] I love you so much, you’re my dream girl

Hermione: [also crying] I love you too

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