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#incorrect destiel quotes
iamharryhale · 6 months
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Sam: Dean is not answering his phone.
Cas: Let me try.
Charlie: Sam and I have already tried four times each, what makes you think—
Dean, answering after the first ring: Hello?
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vixfern · 3 months
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Dean: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...
Cas: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?
Dean: Holy moly-
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charliesshitposts · 9 months
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[Jack trots down the stairs dressed like a Wookiee]
Destiel: *takes one look at him* No.
Jack: *gasps* but-
Cas: This is the third time this week Jack,No.
Jack: but it’s to scare-
Dean: That things starting to reek man,No
Jack: Listen I-
Destiel: Go.
Jack:*growls and turns,coming face to face with gabe*
Gabe: *screams and runs out of the bunker* WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! GO AWAAAAAAY
Destiel: …
Jack: *with a shit eating grin* I dress up like this and stand in random corners of the bunker watching him silently until he gets creeped out. Been doing it since Sam left.
Dean:*laughing* oh that’s genius kid.
Jack: last night I crept into his bedroom and stood in the corner dancing until he woke up and sprayed me with bug repellent.
Gabe: *from the other side of the bunker door* is it gone?
Destiel: ..
Jack: ..
Gabe: I wish Sam were home):
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angst-buritto-art · 1 year
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Poor Dean…~❤️
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agentkikirogers · 11 months
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(Dean has a spray bottle that says "Pee")
Cas: Is that real urine?
Dean: If it was, would I do this? *squirts spray bottle into his mouth*
Castiel: ... Maybe.
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Sam: How can we stop Cas?
Dean: The same plan as usual.
Sam: We usually have a plan?
Random hunter: You NEED to usually have a plan?
Dean: I'll try to talk Cas out of it.
Dean: If this doesn't work, I'll beg him.
Dean: And if THIS doesn't work-
Sam: We kill him?
Dean: NO! I let Cas kills me.
Sam: My mistake.
Random hunter: …You really think this is a plan?
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hellerjackline · 1 month
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jonasdirection101 · 4 months
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Jack: “DAAAAAAAAAAAAD, Claire is being mean to me!”
Castiel: “If you continue doing that, Claire, you won't have ice-cream as dessert.”
Dean: “But we still love you.”
Castiel, looking at Dean: “Why do you say that everytime I'm scolding one of them?”
Dean: “I'm…”
Castiel: “Don't answer! You're going to say something sad. Then I'll feel bad for you and then I'll want to kill your dad.”
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iamharryhale · 7 months
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Dean, shaking a magic 8 ball: Does Cas like me?
Magic 8 Ball: Don't count on it.
Dean: 😮…
Cas, sitting next to Dean in bed: We've been married for five years, Dean.
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mischieviem · 4 months
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charliesshitposts · 9 months
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[Destiel at a bar]
Cas:*well into his 3rd glass of what he thinks is red wine* This isn’t half bad. I don’t know why I never tried alcohol sooner.
Dean: *sips on his beer* it’s not wine,it’s cranberry juice in a fancy cup.
Cas: …
Cas: Nah it’s wine.
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spn-lesbian · 10 months
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demon: I'm going to kill your husband!
Dean: my what?
demon: the angel *points at Cas*
Dean: he's not my husband?
demon: *slams fist* WHY NOT?!
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agentkikirogers · 11 months
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Destiel Texts 1/??
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Castiel: Dean made me feel things.
Other Angels: What things?
Castiel: Feelings.
Other Angels: He made you feel feelings?
Castiel: Yeah.
Other Angels: What a bitch.
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moonflowerfeathers · 4 months
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supernatural x the onion headlines
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