Diego : "Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve."
Y/N : "I think you mean cards."
Diego, pulling knives out of their sleeves : "No, I do not."
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Luther: How is everyone doing?
Diego: Well, I’m breathing
Klaus: Setting the bar pretty low, huh?
Diego, defensive: Well, it’s better than Five
Five: [having a panic attack] fuck you
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Diego, after attempting to cook: THE KITCHEN’S ON FIRE
Viktor: Where’s a responsible adult???
Diego; He’s asleep!
Klaus, grabbing a bucket of water: Don’t worry guys, I’ve got this!
Klaus: *throws water on Five* WAKE THE FUCK UP THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE
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*At Luther's wedding*
Y/N: Bet you three shots he'll cry.
Five: I bet you four he'll throw up.
Y/N: I bet you two shots we'll pull through this too.
Five: seven that we'll all die, love.
Lila: Do they realise this is called alcoholism?
Diego: Shhh...just watch
Y/N: Two shots say you'll be kissing me tonight.
*Five takes two shots, smirks at her blushing face*
Lila: wtf?
Diego: It's giving love.
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Diego: Deadname or misgender my brother and your pronouns will be was/were
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Y/n: You think you're smarter than everyone else
Five: I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else. I know I am
Diego: Cocky bastard for a guy who's mentally 40+ years older than his girlfriend
Five: Fuck off- I know where you sleep asshole
Diego: And I know where your girlfriend sleeps
Five: Are you threatening my girlfriend?
Diego, rubbing your head: I could never hurt this cute head. But I could hurt you
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The Handler: I’m writing my autobiography. Any tips?
Five: Kill off the main character.
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Diego: Sometimes the enemy of your enemy is your friend, and sometimes the enemy of your enemy is Five.
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Viktor: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?
Diego: *Crouches down*
Klaus: *Kneels down*
Luther: *Sits on the floor*
Five: *Stands on a chair*
Viktor:
Viktor: I hate all of you.
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Klaus: Five sent me a get better soon card
Diego: Oh, that’s nice-
Five: He’s not sick, I just think he could do fucking better with his life
Diego:
Klaus, admiring his card with tears in his eyes: I’m framing this
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Klaus to Diego: you know after that mannequin, Y/n is a really nice catch for Five.
Diego: Five and Y/n are together?
Klaus: well... Look at yourself...
*Five just drinking his coffe, Y/n taking his cup and drinks his coffee, then gives him back the cup*
Diego: damn... And they still alive?
Klaus: and that's not all... Watch...
*Y/n fixes Five hair, Five just smiles and drinks his last drop of coffee*
Diego: wow. They must be married.
Klaus: yeah. I don't even know Five can smile.
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