Luther: I did a bad thing.
Diego: Does it affect me?
Luther: No…?
Diego: Then suffer in silence.
Luther: I did a bad thing.
Diego: Does it affect me?
Luther: No…?
Diego: Then suffer in silence.
Klaus: When did you even learn to drive?
Five: That’s none of your business.
Diego: Can you even see over the steering wheel?
Five: Well enough.
Allison: Are you going 85?!
Five: 82, ya dyslexic.
Klaus: Hey Five, have you written your letter to Santa yet?
Five: no. Santa isn’t-
Diego, breaking through the wall and putting his hand over his mouth: isn’t getting letters yet
Klaus: yeah touche. See you guys later
Diego: we haven’t got around to telling him yet
[Diego on his first day as a bartender]
Klaus: One piña colada please.
Diego: Uh, o-okay.
Klaus: Do you know to make it virgin?
Diego, on the verge of tears: Yes I know how to make it-
Klaus: When have I done something irresponsible?
Diego: We keep a list.
Ben: It’s alphabetized.
Diego: I’m a victim of a hate crime.
Klaus: Luther talking to you is not a hate crime.
Diego: Well I fucking hated it!
Diego: Yeah? You’d screw our own sister for a slice of cheese.
Luther: I don’t even like cheese.
Diego: That makes it even worse, you sick bastard.
Diego: just trust your gut!
Vanya: bro, I have anxiety. My gut is always telling me to abort mission.
Diego: You’re an asshole.
Five: I know.
Diego: Nobody likes you.
Five: Good, fewer people to talk to.
Diego: Dolores’s nose is too pointy.
Five: Okay, don’t you fUCKING DARE-
Klaus: I was put on this earth to do one thing. luckily I forgot what it was so I can do whatever the fuck I want
Diego: I’ll carve our initials into a tree because it’s the romantic way to let you know I have a knife.
Diego: What are you doing?
Klaus: *awake at 4 am, sitting on top of the fridge eating ice cream from the tub with a fork* My best
Diego: you think something might have happened to Five?
Vanya: no but I think five may have happened to someone
(After Diego and Eudora’s breakup)
Allison: We’ve got a problem with Diego.
Klaus: No, we bought him that special shampoo.
Allison: This isn’t a dandruff problem, Klaus, this is a woman problem.
Klaus: …Diego has cramps?
Right now everyone is standing outside in the rain because Klaus accidentally set the kitchen on fire trying to make toast.
Luther: The sub with a chair and a meter stick moving around the front of the room trying to knock him down
Diego: One of the kids sitting at the desks in the back corner, armed with a pencil
Allison: The kid at the door volunteering to go get maintenance or something but also making it clear they will not be coming back until the wasp is gone
Klaus: The other kid at the back corner desks, armed with nothing, but claiming this is too traumatizing and we have to give up for the day
Five: The one staying at their desks doing their work in the middle of the room, near the wasp, because, “If I get stung, I get stung”
Ben: The one moving their work and themselves to the back table and calling out encouragement to the sub
Vanya: The one hiding in the back of the room between the bookshelf and the computer cart, clearly not wanting to be stung and wanting it out of the room, but asking the sub not to kill the wasp
Reginald: Our teacher, who didn’t show up and abandoned us to our fate
I had trouble placing the first four so if you disagree, feel free to debate!
since Spotify decided CYBERBULLY me, send me a character and I will give a song from my top 100 playlist of any of three past years (2017, 2018, 2019)
Diego: Esto es tu culpa
Klaus: yeah I know
Vanya: you speak Spanish?
Klaus: No. I just know the phrase “this is all your fault” in every language he speaks