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#incorrect greek gods
meditando-en-paris · 1 year
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Odysseus: Do it or you're straight.
Achilles: *Loud gasp*
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nobuuses · 1 year
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incorrecthomer · 1 month
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Hermes: Odysseus is missing Athena: do you think i microchipped him? Hermes: ... do you? Athena: yes, give me a minute
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incorrectgreekgods · 8 months
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Apollo: Okay guys, lets just hug this out. *Artemis, Apollo, Hermes, and Athena struggle into a group hug* Artemis: Who took my wallet? Hermes: Sorry.
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0lympian-c0uncil · 4 months
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Poseidon: Which one of you was going to tell me that tea taste different if you put it in hot water
Athena,*slowly puts down her book*: Y-You were putting it in cold water....
Poseidon: ....
Hera: Poseidon. Answer the question. Poseidon!
Poseidon: Yeah I thought for like 5 years that people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process. Didn't realize there was an actual reason.
Everyone: ....
Poseidon: You think I have the patience to boil water?
Dionysus: You don't have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes????
Apollo,*grabbing him*: Why are you. putting it in the microwave to boil it?!
Dionysus: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?!
Apollo: It takes less than a minute!
Hermes: BESTIE IS YOUR STOVE TOP POWERED BY THE FUCKING SUN?????
Apollo: HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE YOU TO BOIL A CUP OF WATER ON THE STOVE!??!
Hermes: Like 7 minutes!
Dionysus: *nods*
Apollo: Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in like 2 minutes less than that and you use a saucepan.
Zeus: HA- You're putting the whole mug on the stove?????? on medium heat???? You're stove is enchanted!
Athena: Every single person in this room is a fucking lunatic...
Demeter: Do none of you own a fucking kettle!?
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godsofhumanity · 5 months
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Zeus: So how did you convince all our siblings to betray me? What did you offer them? Hera: I asked if they wanted to embarrass you and they instantly said yes.
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withlovefromolympus · 4 months
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Poseidon: oh no
Zeus: what is it?
Poseidon: an angry wife is coming towards us
Zeus: mine or yours
Poseidon: does it really matter?
Zeus: Well, if it's Amphitrite we might survive, but if it's Hera, we're totally dead.
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mytholots · 5 months
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Apollo: *crying* It was so hard! I couldn't take it man!
Artemis: *patting him on the back* Yeah life can be hard sometimes.
Apollo: Life?
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Odysseus: What's up with Achilles? He has been laying on the floor for like.. an hour now?
Breises: He's a bit overwhelmed
Odysseus: And why is that?
Breises: Patroclus smiled at him
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olympushit · 7 months
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Greek gods and their mottos:
Zeus: Justice above all.
Hera: Loyalty is the key to harmony.
Poseidon: Life is like the sea, you can never know for how long it will be calm.
Hades: The reason you don't enjoy life is because you are afraid of death.
Hestia: Keep calm and carry on.
Demeter: Don't underestimate someone because they look calm.
Ares: Never judge a book by its cover.
Aphrodite: Love is a bird, she needs to fly.
Apollo: The sexiest language someone can speak is the motherfucking truth.
Artemis: Women can do everything.
Hephaestus: Ugly outside, beautiful inside.
Athena: Knowledge is power.
Dionysus: Rage on or go home.
Hermes: Being talkative is nice, until you start lying.
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h0bg0blin-meat · 6 months
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Ares: I just stubbed my toe.
Ares: But did I cry like a baby?
Ares: Of course not.
Ares: A baby don't have the lung capacity for the sound I just made.
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princessofopus · 2 years
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“Patrochilles is real,” I say into the mic, the crowd boos. I begin to walk off the stage in shame. “No, she’s right!” I hear a voice in the back say. The lights come on. It's Alexander the Great.
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gotstabbedbyapen · 2 months
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Hyacinthus: Can I ask you some questions? You just have to answer yes or no.
Apollo: Sure, go ahead.
Hyacinthus: Does the sun rise from the east?
Apollo: Yes.
Hyacinthus: Does chlorophyll make leaves green?
Apollo: Yes.
Hyacinthus: Can I top you tonight?
Apollo: If you want to, yes. And you could have just asked from the start instead of trying to trick me.
Hyacinthus:
Hyacinthus: Wait. How did you know I was trying to trick you?
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meditando-en-paris · 10 months
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Agamemnon: Achilles, can you stop kissing Patroclus at the meetings of the chiefs?
Achilles: I'm sorry, the doctor has prescribed a dose of ten kisses a day.
Agamemnon: But what doctor…?
Patroclus: Doctor's orders.
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incorrectgreekgods · 5 months
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Ares: Your lipstick looks great! Aphrodite: It tastes even better. *winks* Ares: I know. Aphrodite: Ares: Aphrodite: Hey why are your teeth pink?
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0lympian-c0uncil · 6 months
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