James, to Lily: I just heard Moony call Padfoot a “fucking liar” because he barked like someone was at the door and no one was there
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Harry: Maybe because you’re skinny, and maybe because you’re pretty, you’re used to getting away with things, Malfoy
Harry: But I want you to know that your actions have an effect on others, and I hate you, and you are a horrible person, and not understanding that you’re a horrible person does not make you less of a horrible person
Draco: You think I’m pretty?
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sirius: hey remus, are you awake?
remus: what
sirius: are you awake?
remus: who the fuck do you think just said ‘what’?
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Sirius: Ugh, this date is boring
Remus: This isn’t a date, I told you I was going to the store.
Sirius: Then why did you invite me?
Remus: I didn’t. I specifically said “do not come with me” and you said “don’t tell me what to do” and just followed me here.
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Death eater: we have your dad
Harry: Which one?
Death eater: What?
Harry: Which dad?
Death eater: Dark curly hair, looks tired... likes cats
Harry: Oh that's regulus
Harry: Yeah you don't have him, he has you
Sirius: Lmao good luck
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Sirius *singing*: I kissed a girl, and I liked it!
Remus *who doesn't know the song*: you're gay
Sirius: The taste of her cherry chapstick!
Remus: you also hate cherries
Sirius: I kissed a girl, just to try it!
Remus: yes, we've established that
Sirius: Hope my boyfriend don't mind it!
Remus: I don't
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pt.7
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Regulus: Where the HELL is my boyfriend?
Evan, from across the room: It's a Jamie day.
Regulus, not missing a beat: Where the HELL is my girlfriend?
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[Deathly Hallows]
Hermione: Harry-
Harry, sighing despondently: Ginny used to call me Harry.
Ron: Because it's your fucking name.
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Harry: *cooking*
Draco: *kicks down door*
Draco: *grabs knife from Harry's hand*
Draco: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR?
Harry:
Harry: What.
Pansy: He's trying to tell you he wants to cook
Harry: But...Draco, you don't know how to cook!
Draco: It doesn't matter! You sit and Pansy will help me figure something out!
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James: Padfoot made it very clear that my allegiance should be to male comrades before women who sell their bodies for money.
Remus: ...Is it possible he actually said, "bros before hoes"?
James: Yes, but I rephrased it to avoid offending the hoes.
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lily evans: can you imagine being mad at me lol? like how’d you let a 5’2” bitch piss you off? tf?
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James: It’s sweet that you care about Pads so much, Reggie
Regulus: I do. He’s my brother. And I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if something happened to him and I wasn’t at his bedside to say “I told you so”
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regulus: do NOT tell james about this
remus: you want me to LIE to james???
regulus: is that a problem?
remus: lol no
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