Loki: you look good in your suit stark
Tony: you look like you’re on drugs
Loki: thanks I know
Sam, whenever Bucky whines about something: You’re kind of a bitch.
Bucky, sipping apple juice out of a wine glass: Then I’ll be the baddest bitch in town.
Waiter: So, what can I get you?
Scott: *Voice cracking* I’d like the blueberry pancakes
Scott: *Crying* hAha pranked, I’Ll hAvE tHe OmElet
Tony: I started a podcast
Rhodey: Oh cool, what’s it called?
Tony: Constant Screaming
Tony: Can you follow me on Soundcloud-?
Tony: You wanna feed ducks at the park?
Stephen: I have a meeting in twenty minutes
Tony: I have silly string
Peter: I’m gonna go get some soup.
Tony: Be careful not to burn yourself, it’s hot.
Peter, leaving the room: Pfft, i’m not gonna burn myself.
[ 30 Seconds Later ]
Peter, entering the room: I burnt myself.
Natasha: If I ask you if I can stab you it’ll be easier for everyone if you just say yes.
Tony: I’m giving up alcohol for a month.
Tony: Wait, sorry that came out wrong.
Tony: I’m giving up. Alcohol for a month.
Carol: hey, what’s the name of the guy who loves two houses down?
Fury: his cat’s names are Walter and Rose.
Carol: that’s not what I asked.
Fury: that’s the information I have.
Maria: Who’s your friend?
Rhodey: Oh, this is the girl I’ve been telling you about. Carol Danvers.
Maria, pulling Rhodey aside: That’s the Carol Danvers? More like Carol DAMNvers! Why didn’t you mention she was cute as hell?!
Rhodey: Uh -
Maria: Never mind. Just give me her number.
Flash: I’m a huge fan of yours!
Spider-Man, aka Peter Parker, completely freaking out: I think you’re mistaking me for… Anybody else?
Honestly if I ever became an actor all I would have to do is think about Tony Stark to display an array of emotions
Tony: This doesn’t have to be a big deal. Whoever took the pie, step forward, and all will be forgiven.
Tony: Smart. You knew I would never forgive you.
Steve: Jesus Christ, what happened to your arm?!?
Peter: *holds up his arm* I broke it
Peter: But I got a 95 on my Spanish final
Shuri: and that’s how I created the Black Panther suit!
Tony: okay I’m going to adopt you
Shuri: but… I have a family?
Tony: oh that’s new