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#incorrect mo dao zu shi
wangxianslillotus · 2 years
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Lwj: I will but in ways you don't yet know
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seancire · 1 year
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The Yiling Patriarch is the epitome of being sexy while doing fucked up craps. He would be out there doing the most utterly dumb shit you could possibly think of while showing off his chest. I think we all know Lan Zhan had a brief moment when he saw Wei Wuxian at Nightless city he didn't know what to think for a second
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jayktoralldaylong · 2 years
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Guanyin Temple Showdown
Wei Wuxian: Zewu Jun he's a murderer!
Jin Guangyao: Shut up you lying hoe.
Wei Wuxian: You're the hoe you incestous bastard!
Jin Guangyao: Gay bitch!
Lan Xichen, confused and upset: Language!
Lan Wangji sitting in the corner with his ears red, silently cheering on Wei Ying.
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Wei Wuxian: and i don't necessarily believe any of this i'm just saying words recreationally
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twistedappletree · 6 months
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wei wuxian: *appears with a screeching murder of crows, creepy black tendrils sprouting out of his body, glowing red eyes and a corpse-summoning hell flute*
lan wangji: move in with me
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nixster627 · 2 months
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Wei Wuxian: What's your type?
Lan Wangji: Kind, smart and also dumb, brave, a good fighter.
Wei Wuxian: That kinda sounds like me. Too bad I'm not a woman.
Lan Wangji: Did I mention dumb?
Wei Wuxian: Yes.
Lan Wangji: Good. Just making sure.
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uncorrectintamed · 4 months
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Lan Xichen: Just be casual. Try some light flirting.
Lan Wangji: Okay. I can do that.
[Later]
Wei Wuxian: Nice work! High Five!
Lan Wangji: [intertwines their fingers]
Wei Wuxian: Wh-
Lan Wangji: I'm in love with you.
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disgracefulthings · 14 days
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Wei Wuxian: My brother still misses me...
Wei Wuxian: But his aim is getting better!
Sounds of Zidian cracking and Jiang Cheng screaming in the distance
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At the monthly MXTX red-and-blacks meeting
Wei Wuxian: i wanna fuck a monk
Luo Binghe: Lan?
Wei Wuxian: yes.
Luo Binghe: a good one.
Wei Wuxian: yes.
Luo Binghe: looks good in the... *gestures indicating the forehead ribbon*
Wei Wuxian: yes
Luo Binghe, sagely: i understand
Hua Cheng: do you want to fuck a monk or do you want to fuck god?
Wei Wuxian: can you fuck god?
Hua Cheng: oh yes
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Lan Wangji: Jiang Wanyin, I’m asking permission to marry your brother.
Jiang Cheng: What is this, the dark ages? Since you asked, no you can’t. Beat me in a duel first.
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mxtx-incorrect-quotes · 10 months
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Lan Xichen: Do you mind if I slyly mention that you’re single?
Lan Wangji: Do not do that.
Lan Xichen: You won’t even notice!
Wei Wuxian, entering: Zewu-Jun, you wanted to see me again?
Lan Xichen: Wangji's single
Lan Wangji:
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wangxianslillotus · 2 years
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Wwx a summary:
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seancire · 1 year
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Gotta love how Wei WuXian flirts non stop with Lan Zhan but when it's Lan Zhan's turn he just starts buffering
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jayktoralldaylong · 2 years
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Wei Wuxian: Oh yeah Lan Zhan, don't forget to do that special thing tonight.
Lan Zhan: Special thing?
Wei Wuxian: You know. You know. That special thing you did last night.
Lan Xichen: Oh dear God.
Wei Wuxian: The special thing with my legs-
Jiang Cheng, red in the face: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
(Wei Ying was talking about a foot massage.)
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lucky-cat-13 · 4 months
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Nie Huaisang: I'm gonna need a human skull and you can't ask any questions.
Wei Wuxian: Only if you also don't ask why.
Wei Wuxian: *pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick.
Nie Huaisang: ...
Wei Wuxian: ...
Nie Huaisang: This one is fine.
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twistedappletree · 8 months
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wei wuxian: *on the boat in Caiyi Town* of course i know how to talk to girls, i can make any girl fall in love with me! watch this-
wei wuxian: *pointing at lan wangji* LADIES, ISN’T HE PRETTY? HANDSOME?? OTHERWORDLY???
ladies: so handsome!!!
wei wuxian: IS HE NOT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS IMMACULATE MALE SPECIMEN YOU’VE EVER SEEN IN YOUR LIFE?
ladies: yeeaah…! i guess?
wei wuxian: WOULDN’T YOU PURPOSELY BREAK ALL 3,000 LAN SECT RULES JUST TO SPEND TIME WITH HIM? TO STARE AT HIS FACE FOR HOURS?? TO GET PUNISHED BY HIM???
ladies: …………
wei wuxian: WOULD YOU DRAW HIS PORTRAIT AND SHOW HIM YOUR COLLECTION OF GAY POR-
jiang cheng: *pushes him off the boat*
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