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#incorrect next gen quotes
hxuse-xf-black · 1 year
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Albus: My brother James (the extrovert) and I (the introvert) got separated on our flight. We’re in the middle seats in the same flight row.
Albus: I’ve already apologized to the people sitting next to me like seven times.
Albus: James is sharing beef jerky with strangers and I think he’s now in someone’s wedding.
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missesmckinnon · 8 months
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Regulus: I hate you.
James: You want me so bad.
Draco: I hate you.
Harry: You want me so bad.
Scorpius: Yay, besties!
Albus: :D
Scorpius:
Albus:
Scorpius:
Albus: You want me so bad.
Scorpius: I want you so bad.
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caitlynscat · 6 months
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The raven and siren sit in the kitchen drinking their tea as they watch Wednesday’s daughter and friend constructing something in the backyard.
Bianca: What are they doing out there?
Wednesday: Oh it’s some science experiment for school.
Bianca: Does it have to involve a lot of fireworks?
Wednesday: It was actually my idea.
Bianca: Of course it was. By the way I was meaning to ask….
Wednesday: Yeah?
Bianca: So she’s your daughter. You and Enid’s?
Wednesday: Correct.
Bianca: How…. how did that happen exactly?
Wednesday: Oh I’m glad you asked. You see-
-Outside-
Wenclair Daughter: LETS LIGHT THIS SUCKER!
Yokovina Daughter: Shouldn’t we be wearing some kind of protective gear or something?!
Wenclair Daughter: Pfftt maybe you can. That’s no fun. Alright, let’s do this. *lights up the fireworks*
-Inside-
Bianca: That’s….. interesting.
Wednesday: Interesting indeed.
Bianca: Was that the same thing with Yoko and Divina’s daughter?
Wednesday: Oh well that’s different. You see they-
*EXPLOSION*
The two run out of the house to check on the girls in the backyard.
Bianca: What happened?!
Wenclair Daughter: It didn’t fly up into the sky.
Yokovina Daughter: It didn’t fly up into the sky.
Wednesday: *shaking her head* I told you you were doing it wrong.
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ace-aussie-asshole · 3 months
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Albus: Can’t lie, Draco Malfoy is a DILF.
Rose: True.
Scorpius: What’s a DILF?
Albus, Who Didn’t Know Scorpius Was Sitting There: Um … it is a father … of a close friend … that you uh — view as … something like a … a role model!
Scorpius: Oh, okay.
Rose: *can already tell this is going to go horribly wrong*
Later
Albus: And this is my dad. You two finally get to meet, yay.
Harry: Hello Scorpius.
Scorpius: It is lovely to finally meet you Mr Potter, and I must say, you are quite the DILF.
Albus: *falls to the floor laughing*
Harry: Excuse me!?
Scorpius:
Scorpius: You told me the completely wrong meaning of this word didn’t you Albus?
Albus: *cackling* I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU JUST DID THAT!
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wcrpbubble · 3 months
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Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
incorrect quotes pt 1 of ?
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vorta-vortex · 7 months
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Riker, hungover: Please tell me I'm imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks.
Troi: I would, but then I would be lying to the King of All Ducks.
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limelightofpolaris · 8 months
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"Don't you dare touch my godson"
But it's Harry about Teddy instead
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nihoniii · 4 months
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Shirabu: What level of petty are you? Futakuchi: If you don't tell me happy birthday, I'll never tell you happy birthday for as long as I shall live.
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taurusmoonchild · 2 years
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*Albus and Scorpius making out*
*Rose walks in*
Rose: Your ancestors are turning in their graves right now.
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oxydiane · 2 years
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albus: dad there’s something i need to tell you… i like boys
harry: oh me too
albus: ?
james: well that makes the three of us what the hell
teddy: anybody in this house likes pussy?
lily: [slowly raises hand]
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Hades: (talking about Zagreus) Y’know, at this age, I don’t think he understands a word I say. I could read him the obituaries to sleep and he wouldn’t even mind.
Persephone: Hades…have you been reading him the obituaries to sleep?
Hades: Pffft! Whaaaat!? Noooo! I wouldn’t-
Persephone: *raises her brow and smiles, crossing her arms*
Hades: Okay, it was one time. I was getting tired of reading him that stupid book about the friendly dragon. Dragons aren’t friendly. They’re deadly, bloodthirsty creatures.
Persephone: (slightly disappointed tone) I like that book.
Hades: Did I say stupid? I meant cute.
Persephone: *raises her brow and smiles at him again* Mmm-hmm. Sure you did.
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hxuse-xf-black · 9 months
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Scorpius: Yeah, it's scary. It's terrifying. Especially when I'm in love with a psycho like you! Rose: I'm not a psycho! Scorpius: I just told you that I love you and all you heard was psycho.
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Eric : Where’s Melody tonight?
Ariel : She’s gone to a party with some friends tonight
Eric : Isn’t she a bit young for parties yet?
Ariel : come on sweetheart she’s sixteen now I think we can trust her to be responsible
Eric : maybe? what were you like at sixteen?
Ariel :
Ariel : gets the keys we’re picking her up right now
Eric :
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caitlynscat · 6 months
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Vega: We are going to take a trip!
Sora: To where?
Vega: Oh you’ll see! We’re just going to visit someone.
Sora: Who is this someone?
Vega: Don’t worry about it! Now are you in or out? Scratch that, you’re in. Regardless.
Vega: *pulls out Addams family ritual book*
Sora: Ugh. Please let this be a normal trip.
Enid: With my daughter? Absolutely!
Wednesday: Unlikely.
Sora & Vega OC by @barb-l
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ace-aussie-asshole · 7 months
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I Like To Imagine Albus Potter And Scorpius Malfoy Overhear Rumours About Themselves Or Slytherin And Just Confirm Them Regardless Of Whether They’re True:
Student: I heard Albus Potter has the hots for Yann Fredericks.
Albus, Has Literally Rejected Yann Before: Oh my God, who just uttered the name of the love of my life? Yann Fredericks? Yeah, he’s my future husband. I have a shrine and I’ve collected locks of his hair and everything.
Student: Did you hear? Malfoy might actually be a Riddle!
Scorpius, Fucking Draco Clone: That is absolutely correct! Ssssaa-hushaaa-fasss— *cough*
Student: Do you reckon Potter takes it up the ass?
Albus, Prefers Topping: Every goddamn night my guy! My dorm mates are seriously getting annoyed with how many people I invite into the bed with me.
Scorpius, An Asexual: I could never get sick of hearing you moan.
Albus: Why thank you Malfoy! I’ll see you in my bed tonight. I’m taking it up the ass! *celebratory fist pump*
Scorpius: Whoo!
Student: Oh my God! Malfoy’s wearing a skirt! He looks like a girl!
Scorpius, An Intersex Roseboy: Am I a pretty girl?
Student: Wha— Wait, are you a girl or a boy?
Scorpius: Yes.
Student: I heard that all Slytherins worship the Devil.
Albus, Literally A Satanist: Aw man! I left my silk red robe and sacrificial dagger at home! How am I gonna sacrifice these children to appease my dark master now!?
Scorpius, Would Die Before Hurting Anyone: Don’t worry Albus, I got you! *presents random stick he found in the garden* we can beat the children with the child-whacking-stick!
Student: Do you reckon Potter is adopted?
Albus, With His Messy Black Hair And Green Eyes: This! *points to face aggressively* This isn’t real! I’ve been dying my hair this whole time! These are contact lenses! My real eye colour is brown!
Student: Potter and Malfoy probably fuck every night, they’re so inseparable.
Scorpius, A Virgin Asexual: Hell yeah we do! Why do you think I need a cane to walk?
Albus, Would Never Even Dream Of Touching Scorp At The Moment: I be obliterating that ass every opportunity I get.
Scorpius: My spine fusing together? That’s because Albus just goes so hard at it.
Student: You have to sell your soul to get into Slytherin I’m pretty sure.
Albus, Has Probably Dabbled In The Dark Arts: Abso-fucking-lutely you do!
Scorpius, Just Watched Shrek And Doesn’t Know The Original Song: I sold my soul to the muffin man.
Albus: The muffin man!?
Scorpius: The muffin man!
Albus: Who lives on drury lane?
Scorpius: Yes. Who did you sell your soul to?
Albus: Viagra.
Student: Isn’t Malfoy like, a slut or something? I swear he’s slept with everyone at school.
Scorpius, A Virgin Asexual: Hell yeah! Cock-a-doodle-do me right now motherfuckers!
Student: I heard Potter has had seven different STI’s.
Albus, Literally Refuses If There’s No Condom: Yeah dude, the fucking warts killing me man. Good thing I haven’t gotten the big one yet. You know, kids.
Student: Oh my God! It’s so sad! Malfoy has a crush on Granger-Weasley!
Scorpius, A Homoromantic: Yup, it is so tragic. We’re like Romeo and Juliet, minus the marriage and suicide. And also, she doesn’t like me back *wipes fake tear*
Student: I think Albus Potter is plotting to kill his Father.
Albus, Just Came Back From A Nice Lunch With Harry: Hey! Don’t diminish my ambitions! I’m plotting to murder my entire family, actually!
Student: I heard Albus and Scorpius eloped over the summer.
Albus, Spent His Summer In Spain: …?
Scorpius, Spent His Summer With The Longbottom’s: …?
Albus and Scorpius: *proceed to buy cheap rings purely to confuse the fuck out of people and also start calling each other the wrong surname*
Student: Did you hear? Malfoy is a Necromancer!
Scorpius, Healing A Random Boggart He Found: I … I can’t even say anything to this one. It’s a reasonable enough assumption.
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cursedwithwords · 2 months
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Scorpius: Where’s Queen Eleanor?
Albus: Baby jail.
Scorpius: What crime has she committed?!
Albus: Stole my sock.
Scorpius: Without a trial?! That's illegal! Free her!
Albus: No way, she'll just steal my other sock.
Scorpius: I'm calling the police!
Albus: Do it then.
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This is who Albus put in baby jail, can you believe that????
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