Peter: Guys? I need your help with something.
Avengers: [start pulling out weapons]
Peter: [opens math textbook]
Steve, dropping his shield: Oh… that kind of help. Where’s Banner?
Stephen: [surrenders the stone to Thanos]
Peter: But Mister Doctor Strange, that stone is your superpower! Thor would never wager his hammer, and Neil Patrick Harris would never wager his showmanship!
Peter, every time he makes a minor mistake: not to be homophobic but I hate myself
Peter: Could you portal me to school? I’m already late.
Stephen: I can’t do that, kid.
Peter: But you’re a wizard!
Stephen: Oh, I’m a what now?
Peter: Uh, I mean… master of the mystic arts.
Stephen: No take backs, go put a coin in the “wizard” jar.
Loki: I’m going to burn you, you worthless planet called Earth!
Peter, who just recently found Broadway: you mean, yOu WanT tO wAtCH ThE WoRlD BuRN?!1?1?1 YoU’LL mAKe ThE WoRLD TuRN So MeAN?!1!1!1!1!1
Loki: Y’know what, I’ll just burn a newspaper.
Peter: CARRY THAT BANNER
Peter, in spider suit: *jumps off counter* im gay
Shuri: hA HA!
Tony: *watches in disappointment* *sips coffee*
Peter: What’s a clique?
Ned: It’s when a group of people hang out together.
Peter: Oh you mean like having friends?
Ned: No, because these people make fun of other people.
Michelle: Oh you mean like having friends?
Peter: [accidentally shoots web fluid directly into his own eye]
Tony: Are you sure you weren’t bitten by a radioactive idiot?
Tony, blowing his nose: ugh i’m sick
Peter, handing him a skateboard: prove it
Tony, walks into the kitchen: Jesus pete what happened to my sandwich
Peter: well I started making it..
Peter: had a break down…
Peter: bone app the teeth
Peter: butter is just food lotion
Tony: what the- kid there’s something wrong with you
Peter: think about it-
Tony: Pete please get off my ceiling and go to bed, it’s 3am
Harley: One day I hope to be the person who walks into a room and all eyes are on them.
Peter: The trick is to get a really big hat and then scream
marvel: so, we’re trusting you enough to let you read the script, but you’re not gonna spoil anything this time, right?
T'Challa: Is anyone going to tell me what’s going on in here?!
Peter: It’s kind of complicated but Shuri-
T'Challa: I got it. Forget I asked.
Tony, over the phone: Hello?
Peter: It’s Peter.
Tony: What did he do this time?
Peter: No, it’s me. Peter. It’s actually me.
Tony: What did you do this time?