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#incorrect peter parker

Clint: im telling you nat, theres nothing you can name thats name is lazier than swings. Its impossible.

Natasha: one sec.

Natasha: *pokes head into Peters room* name somthing thats name is lazier than swing, clint wont shut up.

Peter, without looking up: slide.

Natasha, walking back and past clint: slide.


Clint: what the fu-

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peter: hi, mr. barnes sir, uh,, i have a question about your metal arm

bucky: no, it cannot turn into a gun-

peter: can i put some magnets on it?

bucky: ??? sure???


tony: barnes why do you have cat stickers on your arm

bucky: they are hello kitty magnets and they are perfect


peter: [sees steves shield] … [puts hello kitty magnets on the shield]


steve: why are there magents on my shield?!


peter: hello mr. thor!

thor: hello, baby spider!

peter: [sputters in confusion] okay-?

peter: uh, can i put a magnet on mew-mew?

thor: her name is mjolnir, but yes! you may put magnets on her

peter: [sticks hello kitty magnet on mjolnir]

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MJ: do you think you can see us as being more than friends?

Peter: YES IM GLAD YOU ASKED I can totally see us as dragons hang on let me find the picture I drew

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Tony: peter why the FUCK is there a goose in my bed!??!!?


Peter, from the vents: its raining outside…. he looked cold….


Tony: whatever. Im taking a shower you BETTER get rid of this thing before i get out!

Peter: um… you might not want to go in the bathroom…

Tony: WHY!?!??!


Tony: peter.

Peter: there were a few snakes……

Tony: PETER!!!

*banging and screaming as peter runs away in the vents*

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Peter: *nodding at Loki* I understand. In this world it’s yeet or be yeeted.

Loki: Yes, well-

Thor: Ah! I know this yeet! You taught the young spider ‘Get help’ brother?

Loki: I most certanily did not teach hi-

Peter: *nods rapidly* Yes he did! He taught me get help! Can you show me please though? I’m a visual learner.

Loki: Don’t you dare..!

Thor: *yeets Loki*

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Clint: *shoots an arrow at Thanos but it flies past his shoulder*

Peter: *stops what he’s doing*

Peter, under his breath: I guess they do miss after all huh

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Wade: are we dead yet

Peter: no

Wade: are we dead yet

Peter: look, if we die, i promise i’ll let you know


Peter: wait.

Wade: are we dead yet

Peter: Will you shut up you can’t even die

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Natasha: no!

Peter, holding a lightbulb: YES!

Natasha: NO!

Peter: Y E S!!

Tony: *walks in*

Tony: watcha arguing about?

Natasha: he wants to see if his powers would let him successfully put a light bulb in and out of his mouth without cracking it.

Peter: *quickly shoves it in*

Natasha and tony: NO!


Peter, muffled: its stuck.

Natasha and tony:

Peter: help.

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Peter, on twitter: im bored yall ask me questions.

Anon: are you spiderman?



tony, who watched shuri send the anon question while grinning evily:

Tony: pete-

Shuri: you tell him and i lock you out of your own damn iron man armour.


Peter: *having an emotional breakdown*

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