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#incorrect peter parker
Peter: I have to write a slam poem for English class and I need a word in which there's three consonants in a row, I can't think of anyth-
Bucky: Strangulation.
Peter: ... How's life, Mr. Bucky?
Bucky: Oh, you know. The usual.
205 notes · See All

Stephen: [surrenders the stone to Thanos]

Peter: But Mister Doctor Strange, that stone is your superpower! Thor would never wager his hammer, and Neil Patrick Harris would never wager his showmanship!

137 notes · See All

Peter: Could you portal me to school? I’m already late.

Stephen: I can’t do that, kid.

Peter: But you’re a wizard!

Stephen: Oh, I’m a what now?

Peter: Uh, I mean… master of the mystic arts.

Stephen: No take backs, go put a coin in the “wizard” jar.

469 notes · See All
Peter: I don't get why we need driver's ed. driving is just like mario kart except slower and you can't throw blue shells at people
Tony, hiding keys to the Ferarri he just bought Peter: please never drive
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Peter: What’s a clique?

Ned: It’s when a group of people hang out together.

Peter: Oh you mean like having friends?

Ned: No, because these people make fun of other people.

Michelle: Oh you mean like having friends?

201 notes · See All

Peter: butter is just food lotion

Tony: what the- kid there’s something wrong with you

Peter: think about it-

Tony: Pete please get off my ceiling and go to bed, it’s 3am

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Peter, via text: Mr. Stark built a flamethrower.
Stephen: Oh my God.
Peter: You should probably get here.
1K notes · See All

T'Challa: Is anyone going to tell me what’s going on in here?!

Peter: It’s kind of complicated but Shuri-

T'Challa: I got it. Forget I asked.

110 notes · See All

Tony, over the phone: Hello?

Peter: It’s Peter.

Tony: What did he do this time?

Peter: No, it’s me. Peter. It’s actually me.

Tony: What did you do this time?

129 notes · See All
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